Key Practices for Self-Confidence [Episode #432]

This week’s topic is: Key Practices for Self-Confidence

Confidence is an area where I feel we could all could use a bit of a boost. Unfortunately, most of us are plagued by feelings of not enoughness, not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not whatever. And unfortunately, social media doesn’t help in that regard.

When we have more confidence, we tend to be healthier and have better energy. We glow. We show up in the world in a different way. And I think it is our birthright to be confident because we’re all unique. We all have something really special to offer the world that no one else can.

Confidence is definitely something that I’ve been working on for years. Someone that’s a recovering perfectionist, I’m very hard on myself and have had eating disorders and a lot of body dysmorphia and body shame issues. I understand this topic very well, and I’m very excited to get into it today!

Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!

Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/

[Questions Answered]

Emma – Boston

With so many products and “miracle” solutions pushed on us on social media, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel like I need to buy all the latest products to be healthy. How do you break this cycle and use social media as inspiration and not a source of pressure?

Phoebe – Florida

I have a question regarding people trying to feed my infant unhealthy foods. We recently celebrated Thanksgiving with my 6 month old baby, where several family members were trying to feed him unhealthy foods. Luckily I was able to stop them. They made me feel like I was doing something wrong and being overprotective.  I feel very strongly about good nutrition and I really don’t want to feed him gravy and whipped cream, especially not for his first foods. Do you have any recommendations on how to handle these situations? I know this will come up again during the Christmas celebrations. Thank you!

Audra – Vancouver

How do I have more confidence to pursue my desire to be my own boss? What tips do you have? You inspire me so much. Thank you!

Trina – Green Bay

How do I prioritize my to-do lists at home and work? I’ve heard it’s best to just accomplish 2-3 key things on my list each day, but I feel that everything is a priority and feel bad about myself when I don’t get things done! Any advice on how to decide what to do first other than deadlines?

Inspirational Thought Of The Week

The real you can never be rejected.

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[RESOURCES]

• 5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Own Your Uniqueness
• 5 Tools of Affirmation to Change Your Life
• Beauty Detox Views On Baby-Led Weaning
• How to Get Kids to Eat Healthy By Developing Flavor Preferences
• How to Make Positive Thinking Even More Powerful!
• How Meditation Can Improve Performance at Work
• How Bad Energy in Your Home is Sapping Your Willpower
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• Additional resources in transcript

Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:

• Wellness Trends- True or False
• My Favorite Veggies For Babies!
• Fitting In A Healthy Routine With Young Kids!
• How Meditation Can Improve Performance at Work!

Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: Hey Beauties. Welcome back to our Thursday Q and A podcast where our topic today is Key Practices for Self-Confidence. And confidence is something that I feel we could all work on. We could all use a bit of a boost in that area. I think that unfortunately, most all of us are plagued by feelings of not enoughness, not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not whatever. And unfortunately, social media I don’t think helps in that regard.

Kimberly: When we have more confidence, we tend to be healthier. We tend to have better energy. We glow. We show up in the world in a different way. And I think it is our birthright to be confident because we’re all unique, and we all have something really, really special to offer the world that no one else can. And even though I say these words, and even though you may hear them, and it resonates on some level, there’s some deeper healing that a lot of us can work on and beliefs to get past and even foods and practices that can really boost confidence that we’ll get into today.

Kimberly: Confidence is definitely something that I’ve been working on for years. Someone that’s a recovering perfectionist, I’m very hard on myself and have had eating disorders and a lot of body dysmorphia and body shame issues. I totally understand this topic very well, and I’m very excited to get into it today.

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Kimberly: Before we do dive in, if you haven’t yet left us a review, my little reminder at the beginning of our show, please just take a moment, beauty, and leave us a review. It is a great way to keep the show going, to keep supporting us, and to help other beauties like yourself find this information. And while you’re at it, you can also click the subscribe button, and that way, you never miss a show, our topics here in the Q and A, and also our interview Mondays.

Kimberly: All that being said, we have our amazing Katelyn Hughes, who is one of my favorite people on the planet. She is a amazing, beautiful human being. I love her and respect her very much. She’s out there in New York, where I suspect is looking very Christmasy, Kay, but it is getting very cold.

Katelyn: I’m happy to be here with everybody today as always. It’s one of my favorite times of the week that we get to spend time together and be with the community. It’s very holidayesque. I just went in the city the other day to see the Christmas tree, and I decorated my home. So it’s nice. It’s a nice time of year. I’m enjoying it. But definitely don’t enjoy the less light. The other day it was like the sun goes up at 7:00 and goes down at 4:15, getting close to winter solstice.

Kimberly: Yes, yes. Now, we’re two days away. And I was going to say this is something we talked about quite a bit in the circle this month, when there’s less light, it is obviously very hard to slug through the day if it’s going down that early. But if we can turn it into a positive, it’s a great time for reflection, and really going into the inner light, and thinking about things that we want to let go of. There’s a lot of change in the air with the new year coming up. So it’s a really great time to spend a little bit more time journaling or just a little bit more quiet time maybe listening to music or taking a bath. It’s a powerful time of year. The darkness is where we go in, and we plant new seeds for what’s to come.

Kimberly: So in this time, I think it’s also important to… We always say here in beauty detox Solluna, not just what we’re eating, but what we’re taking out and what we’re cleansing from our body. And same thing, not just what we want to add into our life, but what we want to let go of, whether it’s habits, relationships, practices, so on, and so forth.

Katelyn: Yeah, thank you for that reminder. I definitely need it. I tend to skew negative this time of year and want to complain, “Oh, it’s dark. Oh, it’s cold.” But I agree. I’m sure as most of the country, everybody here in the States, and it’s cold overseas too in some areas, it’s nice to have that reminder that we can switch our mentality and turn things into a positive. So I appreciate that feedback. And as Kim mentioned, it is a big part of our Solluna Circle topic this month. You can still dive in and get that material. It’s only the 19th, so it’s still available to you if you want to sign up if you haven’t yet become a subscriber to our circle.

Kimberly: Awesome, Kay. Thank you for mentioning.

Katelyn: Of course. Yes, it’s the best Christmas present to yourself or Hanukkah or any other holiday that you celebrate so…

Kimberly: New Year’s present. Early New Year’s present.

Question 1: With so many products and miracle solutions pushed on social media, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel like I need to buy all the latest products to be healthy. How do you break this cycle and use social media as an inspiration and not a source of pressure?

Katelyn: Yeah, New Year’s, the gift of love to yourself. So with that, let’s dive into the questions here. We have one from Emma who’s living in Boston. With so many products and miracle solutions pushed on social media, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel like I need to buy all the latest products to be healthy. How do you break this cycle and use social media as an inspiration and not a source of pressure?

Kimberly: Emma, thank you so much for your question. There’s so much marketing out there. You’re right. It’s such a noisy, crowded space that it’s overwhelming. Now, I moved to a very quiet place in L.A., which I’m obsessed with and I love. It’s called Topanga. It’s in the mountains on the other side of Santa Monica in Venice where we used to live. And when I drive into town, as I call it, for events, which I have to do a couple times a week, I’m always like, “Ah,” shocked when I get hit by all the billboards. And a lot of them have electronics now, and moving parts, and pieces, and the other parts of L.A., and all the ads, and all the stuff that’s thrown at you. It’s shocking. And obviously online and social media, it’s like the Wild West.

Kimberly: So the two things I would say here is number one, you must, Emma, please and everybody listening to this, as we go into the new year, it’s very important, this is like cleaning out your shelves in your kitchen. This is like cleaning out your cabinet, cleaning out all the drawers in your fridge and getting rid of all the old rotting little pieces of ginger or the little half eaten leftovers that got left behind.

Kimberly: Do a inventory of your social media accounts. Now is the time to go through. And if something isn’t making you feel good, if it’s not positive, if it’s not inspiring, if it’s not adding something to your life, unfollow it. Get it out of your space. Detoxify it. Because otherwise, it’s just taking energy, and it’s pulling you in different directions, and it’s not really benefiting your life.

Kimberly: So I would encourage you to take a couple hours to do that before the new year, so you go into the new year with very light energy, very fresh. Everything that’s coming in is of a more positive spin. It may not be perfect, and there may be stuff that throws you off here and there. But if it’s consistently you’re being hit, hit, hit, time and time again with things that just aren’t feeling great, it’s time to do that cleanse.

Kimberly: Cleanses are energetic. So we can do a juice fast. We can do a smoothie and soup cleanse. We cleanse the body, and that’s cleaning energy. And cleanses come in all forms. We clean our house. We clean our closet. We need to clean out our desktop. We need to clean out social media. We need to clean out what we’re watching on TV. Everything is energy. And again, everything affects everything else.

Kimberly: And number two, I think it’s very important to batch times for social media. So what I mean by that is instead of having the alerts come into your phone constantly, or you’re constantly on there all these micro moments throughout the whole day, I think that’s when we can get hit in times when we’re vulnerable and feel like, “Oh, my gosh, I need to buy that vitamin,” or, “Oh, my gosh, that is the hair product that’s going to help my hair grow. Now, I need to spend money. Oh, my gosh, there’s this new kind of collagen,” or whatever there’s out there now.

Kimberly: So I think it’s important to have specific times. And you can plan this on your schedule. You can look at your calendar, or you can do it informally, morning and evening, whatever works for you. But let’s say two times a day, whatever’s realistic for you. I don’t know how many times a day you’re checking now, but I’m going to spend the next 20, 30 minutes catching up. Most productivity experts talk about this concept of batching, and we talk about it a lot, Kay, don’t we at Solluna?

Katelyn: We do.

Kimberly: So instead of piddling along, and these things come, and it takes you 30, 45 seconds to get back on track, just really decide and choose when you’re going to be on the social media channels. Now, if you’re like, “There’s moments of boredom,” and you need to fill in time, and you’re used to going through it on your phone, I suggest getting a book or a magazine. I know this is going to sound really nerdy, but I have a vocabulary app on my phone. And if I have downtime, I’ll just do a couple lessons on there, whatever, a couple exercises. So find alternatives, so you’re not just filling time being on there, and again, exposing yourself to all the marketing and all the ads. Really be conscious of when you want to do it and batch it and stick to that. And I promise it will start to feel better because you’ll be in much more control of that exposure.

Katelyn: Yeah, social media can really be a time suck. There’s been times where I’ve done total social media detoxes, and then I’ll get sucked in again. And it’s designed for you to keep scrolling. It’s like the endless scroll. So all of a sudden, it could be an hour, or 45 minutes have gone by. And you don’t even realize that we’re being hit with all these marketing messages lately because it’s the holidays. There’s so much about buying and gifting on there. And I’ve been sucked in like, “Oh, should I buy this one more gift,” or, “I need to get this.”

Katelyn: And for me, they always target me with all of the workout equipment, and I’m like, “Oh, they have this new thing. It’s a crunch machine or something.” They’re always hitting me with all these new technologies for fitness, and I’m like, “I want to buy them.” I mean, it’s designed for that. So it’s good to be aware and stay strong in what we want to do, so we don’t get sucked into things that make us not feel good or we have this pressure to buy. So I think that’s important to talk about this time of year especially.

Kimberly: Exactly. So just be discerning. Stick to the times and get off there when you’re not in your times. And I think that will help a lot.

Question 2: I have a question regarding people trying to feed my infant unhealthy foods. We recently celebrated Thanksgiving with my six month old baby where several family members were trying to feed him unhealthy foods. Luckily, I was able to stop them, but they made me feel like I was doing something wrong and being overprotective. I feel very strongly about good nutrition, and I don’t want to feed him things like gravy and whipped cream, especially not his first foods. Do you have any recommendations on how to handle these situations? I know it will be coming up again during Christmas celebrations very soon.

Katelyn: Great advice. Okay, so we have Phoebe from Florida. I have a question regarding people trying to feed my infant unhealthy foods. We recently celebrated Thanksgiving with my six month old baby where several family members were trying to feed him unhealthy foods. Luckily, I was able to stop them, but they made me feel like I was doing something wrong and being overprotective. I feel very strongly about good nutrition, and I don’t want to feed him things like gravy and whipped cream, especially not his first foods. Do you have any recommendations on how to handle these situations? I know it will be coming up again during Christmas celebrations very soon.

Kimberly: Wow, Phoebe, sending you so much love, huge mama hug. Your child is six months old, Phoebe, which means number one, you’re a new mom, and congratulations. You’re feeling your way as far as your power and to you what feels right and what feels wrong. And number two, that means your child’s very young. So you are the one, you and your partner, your husband, caretakers you decide, whoever, are the ones that are in charge of his well-being. He’s completely helpless little child right now.

Kimberly: So what that means is I would not for one second feel that you’re doing anything wrong and that you’re being overprotective. Your child at six months, microbiome and gut and overall health, is still being very much laid down. What we do and what we feed our children when they’re very, very young, can affect their health for the rest of their lives. I truly, truly believe that. I think early nutrition is critical. I really do. I’m very passionate about this topic, especially being a mom myself.

Kimberly: So first of all, do not feel bad at all. The fact that you care about his nutrition, and you want him to eat healthy is amazing. And people just need to respect that. So I would just come from it from the place… Christmas is coming up. I would just be real clear on what foods that you want him to eat. And if people want to feed him that, you can say, “Here’s what his foods are.” And no apology in your voice, no wishy washy, no feeling bad. Just be like, “This is what he eats, period, bottom line.” I remember doing that, and I didn’t feel bad about it.

Kimberly: But I felt stressed about it with my in-laws because they eat very unhealthy. And I was stressed about going to their house, and they were going to try to feed him the canned food and all the processed food. But I had a conversation with my partner like, “This is what Bubby’s food is, and let’s just have that talk.” So that might be another thing is just to maybe talk to family members. With my partner, we had that conversation with his parents or with his family right from the get go and just said, “Hey, health is really important to me. And these are his foods, and if you want to feed him, you want me to help, we just really want to stick with this. This is what we’re comfortable with.” Again, don’t be apologetic. Don’t feel bad or that you’re being overprotective. This is your child to protect, to look over. His health and what he eats right now is very important, and again, will lay down the foundation for many years to come.

Kimberly: So please, Phoebe, stick to your mom gut. Be clear with those relatives and offer to… They can share in that. They can feed him from your little food stock, your little organic food stock, and that’s it. And that’s it. Create a very clear boundary. It’s all about healthy boundaries, which mean communicating with compassion and with love but also with strength for sure. I mean, this is your six month old, and you’re the mother. You decide what he eats. I mean, it’s as simple as that.

Katelyn: Amazing. I know a lot of people struggle with family relations and having that confidence to say what they want to say around the holidays. So I think this was great to cover today.

Kimberly: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah, it’s important for sure.

Break

Katelyn: Yeah, it can be a stressful time this time of year. All right, beauties. So with that, we’re going to have Kimberly take a short break, and then she’ll be back to answer the last two questions.

Kimberly: All right, beauties, we have two more questions for you guys on this topic of self-confidence. And self-confidence comes in so many ways. It comes from trusting our gut, feeling our bodies, standing up for what we want, for what we believe. And it really is like a muscle. And I feel the more that we root in and breathe and exercise our authenticity and our truth and our voice, we start to build that confidence muscle day after day.

Kimberly: So don’t feel frustrated. Don’t feel like, “Oh, my gosh, I am just not a confident person.” Don’t try to label yourself as this or that. Because again, I felt like I was not a confident person for many, many moons. And now I feel that… Of course, I still have issues like everybody else and moments of doubt, but I’m a lot more confident than I used to be for sure.

Katelyn: Yeah. So I feel like self-esteem and confidence, it’s one of those lifelong journeys where we keep surprising ourselves, and we have to go back and check ourselves. We’ll be like, “Oh, I don’t feel that great right now, but oh, a couple of years ago, I was definitely in a way worse place,” and acknowledging the growth we’ve made because we’re always evolving, right? So it’s not like, “Oh, I’ve checked the box off self-confidence. I’m good.” Yeah.

Question 3: How do I have more confidence to pursue my desires to be my own boss? What tips do you have? You inspire me so much. Thank you.

Katelyn: All right, beauties. So let’s dive right into our first question. We have Audra living in Vancouver. How do I have more confidence to pursue my desires to be my own boss? What tips do you have? You inspire me so much. Thank you.

Kimberly: Audra, thank you so much for being part of our community and for your question. So I love this question. This idea about creating your own thing, being an entrepreneur, being your own boss, if you’re feeling that inclination, if you’re feeling that coming up inside of you, Audra, then I would definitely listen to that, and I would nurture it and honor it.

Kimberly: So I think what’s really great, what I used to do is I would write down my ideas, and it would start to feel more real the more I would write it down. I would start to plan. I would get things on paper, so it just didn’t feel like, “Oh, these are just little flimsy thoughts in my head,” and discredit myself or talk myself out of it.

Kimberly: So I would encourage you, if you have an idea, a business idea or a project or something you want to pursue, I would get a dedicated notebook for this, and I would start, put pen to paper, and spend a little bit of time every single day on your project or your idea. And even if it’s like, “Okay, I’m going to spend some time researching,” or, “I’m going to get a book on this subject,” or, “I’m going to make a phone call,” or do whatever, take time every day to work on your idea. And what will happen over time is that it will start to get more concrete.

Kimberly: So for me, I remember when I was fixated on the idea that I wanted to become a published author. And so I would write a little bit every day, and then I would figure out, research, how do I find a literary agent, and how do I put together a book proposal? And I would find all this information. And little by little, I would gain confidence like, “Oh, I actually have a proposal here, and I have something written. I have something to show.”

Kimberly: So making it, turning it from, in the ether so to speak as yogis talk about it, thoughts are things. Thoughts are real. Your creative ideas are real. You want to pull it into this plane of existence. You want to manifest it. So start doing that by writing and putting it into existence on this plane through your writing. I like writing more than typing personally because I think there’s something very powerful about your hand on the page and just make your plans, Audra, and then you will definitely get there.

Katelyn: Yeah, I think it’s so important to dig in. A lot of people are scared to take that leap for their dreams, whether it’s changing jobs or working for yourself and just wanting to hear from you about your path. I think it’s so important to just, especially this time of year, dig in and think about changes in your life. As you said, Kay, we’re heading into a whole new year in just a couple of weeks here, so now, and as we talked about in the beginning of the show, using this time to really turn inside and look at yourself versus in the summer, we’re maybe more out and about with the light and everything. So that’s great. Great.

Kimberly: I also think, Kay, I think you brought up a great point, love, by saying it can be scary to feel like you’re making a huge leap. So that’s where I think intermediary steps are important. So for me, I was hustling. And I got back from my around the world trip. I was teaching yoga. I was going back to school. I was doing privates because I could make more money doing privates than group classes. But it took more time to get to people’s apartments. I was working at this raw food cafe. I was walking everywhere because I couldn’t afford a monthly subway ticket.

Kimberly: But even as busy as I was, I was focused on this goal, and I was working on it in the background. So it’s not that I quit everything and came straight over. I would just say that my focus was there, and like I was saying, Audra, I worked on it a little bit every day. But eventually when I got my first book deal and then I had so many clients that I didn’t have to do… I loved yoga, but then it became more about workshops and our DVD versus the weekly running around. I could switch that off. But I was working on things for a long time in the background before I pulled that trigger.

Kimberly: And even for you, Kay, coming to work for us, I remember you were working for us part time, and it was working great. And it just became clear like, “Hey, can you do this full time,” and this is offered to you. And I’m sure it was scary too still taking that leap and quitting your other job, but at least you had already been doing it part of the time. So it wasn’t a huge… It wasn’t as scary maybe.

Katelyn: No, totally. That’s actually a really great point because I get frustrated when I look on social media or you’re reading something where these instant success stories where everybody makes it seem like it’s so easy to just get everything you want. And they don’t always show the grit and tenacity it takes to get where you need to go, and just the really hard work. So I think that that’s great to point out to people that it’s not always easy, but it’s a passion of love. And you’re doing it because you’re passionate about, and you want to do it. So it’s almost like you don’t feel the sacrifices because you’re working towards something you really want to do. So I think that that’s actually great to talk about. And that is true.

Katelyn: Even with our relationship how I got to where I am, it was that. I was hustling and trying to figure out what I wanted to do and doing something on the side that developed into something more permanent and full time. So I agree and then with your writing too. So it takes time, beauties. So just get started. That’s the first step.

Kimberly: Exactly. Take little steps, and they really do add up.

Question 4: How do I prioritize my to-do lists at home and work? I’ve heard it’s best to just accomplish two to three things on my list each day. But I feel that everything is a priority, and I feel bad about myself when I don’t get things done. Any advice on how to decide what to do first other than creating deadlines?

Katelyn: Such great advice. All right, so we have Trina who is in Green Bay. How do I prioritize my to-do lists at home and work? I’ve heard it’s best to just accomplish two to three things on my list each day. But I feel that everything is a priority, and I feel bad about myself when I don’t get things done. Any advice on how to decide what to do first other than creating deadlines?

Kimberly: Trina, thank you so much for your question. Sending you a warm hug over there in Green Bay. So this is a great question. This sounds like you skew more towards the perfectionist side like Katelyn and I about doing and doing. And there’s a lot of us that are like this. And the problem is there’s never going to be enough doing. So if we approach it from that standpoint, you’re always unfortunately going to feel bad about yourself. This comes from a deeper place, I think, where we feel validation based on our accomplishments, based on how much we do in the world versus feeling that deep, deep sense of worth just from being ourselves, not from what we do.

Kimberly: So I would say Trina, first of all, to meditate on that idea, that a simple mantra for you is, I am worthy of love just for being me, or I’m good enough just for being me, not for anything I do. And just take some time for yourself in the morning and the evening to breathe and to feel your own power and to feel how amazing you are, independent of your accomplishments. I really resonate with your question because I felt that before. If I don’t do enough, I feel like a failure. I feel like, “Oh, shit. I didn’t do enough with my day.” And I know you feel that way too, Kay, sometimes.

Katelyn: Yes.

Kimberly: But when you look through your list, after you’ve grounded into yourself, and breathed, and maybe done your mantra, or done your affirmation a couple of times, and meditated, when you look at your list, you can realize that not everything is a priority. I start doing this myself, Kay. I’m like, “Oh, well, this isn’t really due until next Wednesday, so I don’t have to do it on Friday. I can do it on Monday.”

Kimberly: When you really look from a more clear and grounded perspective, I think you can start to sort through what is the most highest and best use of my time today, and then you can balance more. Back to our four cornerstones of balance, you want to make sure you’re taking care of your body and eating properly and taking care spiritually. We just talked about meditating. So emotionally, our third cornerstone, you don’t feel frazzled, and you don’t feel just off-kilter all the time.

Kimberly: So it’s not about packing in so much that you’re not taking care of yourself or nurturing yourself, and then life isn’t as fun or it’s as happy. It’s about, okay, here are the things I’m going to do today. And on top of that, I’m going to have fun, and I’m going to breathe, and I’m going to eat well. I’m going to take care of myself. And that starts to build that back to that idea that you’re worthy of love and that you’re enough just for being yourself.

Kimberly: And life just has a very different energy about it versus the frazzlement of like, “Let me do as much as I can in a day.” Versus, instead of it may not feel good to you just to say, “Oh, there’s two or three key things,” just look at your list. I also think it’s helpful to look for someone like you and me and Katelyn is to look a week to a week and a half ahead and maybe take your to-do list and allot it, “Okay, I’m going to do this on Friday. I’m going to do this today. I’m going to do this tomorrow.” And then that way, you start to feel that organization of everything syncing up. So it’s spread out more over a more reasonable timeframe, and then you feel less stress of today, today, today. I have to do everything, which isn’t the reality.

Katelyn: Yeah, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, I think, to pack it in, and we’re not even really feeling our feelings or really feeling like we’re living. Like you mentioned, having fun, I know for me, I’ll have these huge lists, and if I don’t get things done either personally or professionally, I would beat myself up and just feel like crap. And I’m like, “This is no way to live.”

Katelyn: So I’ve definitely been working on this too, Trina, where you really have to dial it back and go, “Does this really matter? What’s going to happen if it doesn’t get done?” What’s the worst case scenario if you don’t get everything on the to-do list? Are you going to be reprimanded? Is somebody else going to care? Are you going to let somebody down, or is it just yourself?

Katelyn: Because what I’ve found a lot of the time, it’s just me. I’m my worst critic standing on my shoulder yelling at myself. Nobody else is berating me or telling me I’m not good enough. It’s me. I’m the issue. So I think that’s a good… Look at yourself in the mirror. I know Kim mentioned this exercise of looking herself in the mirror, and remind me, Kay, were you saying a mantra or just looking into your eyes and seeing yourself? And I think that that helps.

Kimberly: I love that, Kay.

Kimberly: Just looking at your eyes in the mirror, which is an Ayurvedic practice and our mantra, this idea, Trina, that you’re enough just for being you. You need do nothing to be worthy. So just reminding yourself, saying it, writing it down, these are all powerful ways to reinforce that as well.

Thought of the Week

Katelyn: Beautiful. And as always, we want to just pick your brain for one last minute here if you have a quote of the week for us.

Kimberly: So I’ve been thinking about this topic of confidence, and I think that the root of not feeling confident is obviously self-doubt. And it’s also feeling that we can somehow mess up, or love can be taken away, that we can be invalidated or rejected. And so it makes us fearful. It makes us shrink. It makes us hesitant to take action.

Kimberly: So my quote of the week is the real you can never be rejected. And if you think about that, let me say it again, the real you can never be rejected. If you start to really take that in, what it means is that the real you, not the outside, not the ego, not just this outer layer that we project to the world, but the real you, which is your soul, your essence, your spirit, is whole and complete as it is. It is fully formed. You’re fully existent.

Kimberly: And people walk around with their own biases and opinions, and everybody’s doing their best in the world. And people may react to each other’s egos on the outside. But the more we ground into this idea that the real you, your soul, and your spirit, can never really be rejected because again, we’re whole and complete. We’re born already perfect. You are already perfect. Back to this, the latest book, you’re perfectly imperfect. There’s a part of you that is completely intact on the inside.

Kimberly: And so if you just try to remind yourself, “I cannot be rejected. I can never really be rejected,” people may react in their ways with their surface stuff, but the real you will never be rejected. Then that will help to build your self-confidence because it will remind you that no matter what you do, where you go, what you say, what you don’t do, as well as what you do, you will never truly be rejected because you already have your intact spirit and your soul. And who you are can never be added to, and it can never truly be insulted or harmed or, again, rejected.

Kimberly: This is a big one to meditate on. Maybe journal on this idea, the real you can never be rejected. And again, the whole concept of confidence is something that needs reflection I think and introspection and space. So over the next few weeks, as the darkness starts to transition more into the light, a really beautiful time to go within, and cultivate this introspective time and practices, and drink your hot elixirs, and make some nourishing meals for yourself, like one pot stews and soups, and remind yourself that you are amazing and perfect and unique and worthy just as you are. And you can never really be rejected. And so it puts a whole different spin, a whole different energy in how you walk around in the world.

Kimberly: So I’ll leave you with that. That’s a big idea. Sending you so much love as we gear up for winter solstice and Christmas time and Hanukkah. So sending you lots and lots of love. Thank you so much, Kay, for gathering all the questions and putting together our show. You can submit your questions on mysolluna.com/askkimberly, and our team will review them for an upcoming show. And I got right, Kay, I think.

Katelyn: Yes, yes. That’s where we head over, and we look for your questions. Keep sending them in. We really look through all the questions to come up with our topics. And we love to hear what you’re saying there as well as on social media.

Kimberly: That’s right. And so as we go into Christmas, I just want to say how grateful I am for you listening. We have an energetic bond just by the fact we’re connected here in some crazy ways, through these those airwaves and technology. But we definitely 100% are connected. So from my heart to yours, sending you so much gratitude and much love. And I look forward to connecting with you more for the small amount of the rest of this year and definitely next year and beyond. Take great care of yourself, and we will see you back here Monday for our next interview podcast. Lots of love.