This week’s topic is: How To Do a Relationship Detox
Long term community members may have noticed how much we’ve expanded beyond food. Food is one of our cornerstones, however, we also have our second cornerstone, which is body. Our third one is emotional wellbeing and our fourth cornerstone is spiritual growth.
These are the cornerstones for true beauty, which is where you feel connected to your uniqueness and you feel confident being yourself and are completely unique. You have something to offer the world. And we have found that taking this more holistic approach really does make us feel amazing. It also restores confidence and connection that helps you feel and look your best.
I love this topic because I’ve been talking about food detoxes for so many years and how to cleanse your diet. And as I was just alluding to with our cornerstones that will take you far, but it will only take you so far and then we have to look at our whole lives.
We know that stress, relationships and our emotions affect everything from digestion, hormones, our adrenal system, our nervous system, weight gain, acne and inflammation. There’s a lot of research about this in my latest book, Recipes for Your Perfectly Imperfect Life. When we want to live a clean lifestyle and want to detox our lives, it very much does include relationships, as we’ll get into today.
This is a very interesting topic. I know from personal experience when I’ve gone through this exercise of taking a look at who I’m around and who I surround myself with, it’s very impactful and can make a huge difference in your day to day health, wellbeing and stress levels.
Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!
Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/
Minny – New York
I have a friend I spend a lot of time with but she is really negative and she makes me feel annoyed inside but I am not sure how to address this with her without it being a fight?
Madison – South Carolina
I recently transitioned to eating a plant based lifestyle and my husband supports my eating decision 100%, however I feel like he may be holding me back from furthering my other wellness goals. He’s controlling of my actions at the gym, how I dress and judges other people. I don’t express how I feel most times because it’ll just start an argument and I want to keep a positive atmosphere. Can you please provide any suggestions on moving past these struggles?
Tammy – Los Angeles
My mother-in-law often makes me feel bad about myself and says things that make me feel like she thinks I am not good enough for her son. I try to not let her comments bother me, but honestly they do really hurt me. My husband is aware of it and does what he can, but it still happens.
Samantha – Texas
My husband and I go through bouts of fighting over dumb, random things. I’m thinking we just need to take more breaks from each other. Have you had this in any of your relationships? What do you suggest?
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- Navigating Relationships While Protecting Your Own Energy!
- The Calorie Myth With Jonathan Bailor & Overcoming Negativity and Self Doubt
- Goals and Intent with Mallika Chopra & Best Practices For Spring
- 4 Simple Ways to Achieve Your Goals this New Year
- Digestive Enzymes
- Feel Good Starter Kit
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- Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life
- Be a part of the community Join the Feel Good Circle
- Kimberly Snyder’s Books
- Four Cornerstones FREE PDF: Text to 555888 + text the word: feelgood
- Additional resources in transcript
Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:
- Improve Relationships with Carol Allen & The Amazing Benefits of Journaling!
- Natural Beauty with Shel Pink & Is Your Relationship Hurting Your Health?
- How To Switch Your Mindset To Love Your Body More!
- On Air With Ella & Tips To Boost Your Mood!
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly: Hey Beauties. Welcome back to our Thursday Q & A podcast where our topic today is How to do a Relationship Detox and as time has gone on, you guys, longterm community members may have noticed how much we’ve expanded beyond food. Food is one of our cornerstones, but we also have our second cornerstone, which is body. Our third one, which is emotional wellbeing. And our fourth cornerstone is spiritual growth. These are the cornerstones for true beauty, which is where you feel connected to your uniqueness and you feel confident being yourself and you are completely unique. You have something to offer the world. And we have found that taking this more holistic approach really does make us feel amazing and restores that confidence and that connection and helps you feel and look your best as well.
Kimberly: So I love this topic because I’ve been talking about food detoxes for so many years and how to cleanse your diet. And as I was just alluding to with our cornerstones that will take you far, but it will only take you so far and then we have to look at our whole lives. And we know that stress and relationships and our emotions affect everything from digestion, our hormones, our adrenal system, our nervous system, weight gain, acne, inflammation, and there’s a lot of research about this in my latest book, Recipes for Your Perfectly Imperfect Life. So when we want to live a clean lifestyle and we want to detox our lives, it very much does include relationships, as we’ll get into today. This is a very interesting topic, but I know from personal experience when I’ve gone through this exercise of taking a look at who I’m around and who I surround myself with, close relationships, but also just who I spend my time with, it’s very impactful and can make a huge difference in just your day to day health and wellbeing and stress levels.
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Kimberly: So we’re going to get into all that today. We have some amazing questions for you guys. Before we dive in, just a quick reminder to please leave us a review on iTunes, which is free and easy and just an awesome, awesome way to support the show. So I thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart. If you haven’t yet left us a review and you can do that. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart if you have left us a review already. And while you’re at it, you can also subscribe to our show, which means that you will not miss out on any episodes or any information and it’s a great way to stay connected to the community and to all the self care and all the knowledge and information that comes in every week.
Kimberly: That was a mouthful. So [inaudible 00:00:03:13], I feel like I’m out of breath all the time now. By the way, I am about a little bit more than six months pregnant now. I wanted to share with you guys, we got our second little baby boy coming on the way. So I’m feeling pretty, pretty great. I feel pretty creative, very creative when I’m pregnant. It’s just that I feel out of breath a lot and I definitely pass out at 8:30 at night. But yeah, I’m just super grateful for our community. I’m super grateful for all the women and all the people here together. I love connecting with you guys and hearing what you’re thinking.
Kimberly: So along those lines, I am super grateful for our Katelyn who does this Thursday show with me. She is awesome. She lives in New York. She is our general manager of [Soluna 00:04:02] and she has organized a show for us today. So, Hey K.
Katelyn: Hey beauties.
Kimberly: I hope everything is going great for you out there. I know relationship detox is something you and I have talked about a lot over the years. We’ve both broken up with past partners. We both talk to each other. We both cry to each other about it. So there’s a lot of not just romantic relationships, but friends as well.
Katelyn: Yeah, no, for sure. I’m so happy to be on the show today. As Kim was just saying, we’ve definitely gone through a lot in terms of relationships from friends to romantic relationships. I’m actually getting married in 12 days.
Kimberly: Oh, my gosh. Yes.
Katelyn: Yeah. So preparing for that and just reflecting, I do that sometimes. I’ll just take a journal out and reflect on some of my past relationships. A lot has changed for me over the last couple of years from friends to romantically. Just the people that are in my life and the people I choose to keep around myself now versus a few years ago. So I’m really excited to dig in and talk about this and it can really help. Relationships can really throw us off. They can make or break your day and just learning to have that self composure and negate the waters. We want to pick your mind today, K.
Kimberly: Awesome. Well let’s dive in. I can’t wait to hear the questions.
Question 1: I have a friend I spent a lot of time with, but she is really negative and she makes me feel annoyed inside. But I’m not sure how to address things with her without it being a fight.
Katelyn: Yeah, so we have Minie living in New York. “I have a friend I spent a lot of time with, but she is really negative and she makes me feel annoyed inside. But I’m not sure how to address things with her without it being a fight.”
Kimberly: Minie, thank you so much for your question, beauty, and this is a great one to get us started because, whether we’re in a relationship or not we are surrounded by friends and acquaintances and people that … take out work colleagues for a moment but there are people that … varying levels of closeness that we can choose or choose not to spend time with. My feeling on this is that our free time for most all of us who are so busy is quite limited and I think is a very precious commodity.
Kimberly: So this goes back to the idea and Neil Di-, what’s his name, Neil, I think it’s Diamond Walsh. Blank on his name. He’s the author of Conversations with God where he talks about channeling and having these profound insights come through. But a big subject of his first book, there’s three of these books, is this idea about how important it is to do what’s right for you and what feels good to you. And when you do what’s right for you, what feels good to you, what happens is you become energetically magnetic and strong and you can give a lot to the world. You can give your energy, your vibrance, your unique gifts.
Kimberly: So back to this question, I think there’s two things here Minie. I think that number one, you can have an open conversation with your friend depending on what your relationship with is and how open she is. You could just be honest and say, “Hey, you know, I love you your dear friend. But I got to be honest. Sometimes you have a lot of negativity and I just, it doesn’t really feel great to me.” So if you feel like having that conversation, you can see how she responds and you could say it in a loving non accusatory way of course. And see what comes of it.
Kimberly: And it can go either way. She could get defensive and clam up or she could open up and maybe shift things. Or you could just decide that maybe there are other activities, friends, people that you feel better around. And so you start to spend less time with this person. And that could happen by the way, if you had that conversation or not. Now this may sound harsh and I get it because I have been through this where I have had friends that I have hung out with a lot at certain periods. But I do believe that we grow and evolve and it’s important that our environment supports our growth. And so it doesn’t mean that we don’t love them anymore. It doesn’t mean that we’re cutting them off or writing them off. But it can mean that you compassionately and intelligently find ways to just spend less time with them. And again, more time with people and activities that are nurturing.
Kimberly: So I have done that in my life and there’ll be a period where this friend will just like, “What’s going on? What’s going on?” I’ll be like, “Oh, you know, there’s just a lot going on.” And it starts to naturally evolve into just a less time relationship. And I don’t, I mean, I got to be honest with you, I hate confrontation. So that’s kind of what I’ve done and then it kind of settles into its own way.
Kimberly: I have had that conversation sometimes with people, but I think it has to be what feels right to you, Minie. Either you have that directness or you just again, spend less time. But either way, I think you need to … The fact you’re writing this question means you are aware, you’re conscious that it’s not serving you to be around this person as much and nobody wants to be around a complainer or gossip or negative person because we do all rub off on each other. Our energy does affect each other very much. So I would just pay attention to that. Please don’t ignore it. It very much does affect your wellbeing. So, decide what’s right for you with either of those approaches is my advice. What do you think K?
Katelyn: Totally. I mean, I have been in this situation before with a dear friend I love and she had a lot of things going on in her life that caused her to be more negative and difficult for me to be around. And I kind of withdrew and then she came back at me and was like, “What’s going on,” and we had that hard conversation. And then now, I don’t want to say it’s like a joke, but it’ll be kind of like, “You’re being a little negative right now,” and she’ll be like, “You caught me. I know, I just, oh. I’m working on it.”
Kimberly: She’s open to it.
Katelyn: Yeah. Now that we’ve addressed it, if she’s starting to push my energy, I’ll just let her know I’m at the point where this is as much as I can handle where before, I’d have an opportunity to express that because it wasn’t addressed. But it took probably a couple of years to get there, right, for me with this particular friend. And now we’re in a really good place. So you just, as Kim was mentioning, you really have to feel out the person and do what you have to do. But I have to say addressing things feels a lot better in my personal opinion. Because then it’s done and it’s not on my mind lingering. It’s the hard conversations but once you have them they’re done.
Kimberly: It’s true. Yeah. And then they’re not wondering, “What’s going on? Are you being a flake or are you ignoring me?” And I do think it’s important to honor it though, because if you’re just spending time with them but not feeling good and kind of dreading it, it’s kind of a little bit fake, you know what mean? Because they don’t want that for you either, like you don’t want it. So I think it’s great advice, K. And I just think either way it needs to be worked on and not ignored.
Katelyn: 100%. Because our time’s valuable and they say we’re a reflection of the people we spend the most time around. Because you do affect each other as Kimberly was mentioning. So you want to make sure the people that you have in your corner are a reflection of what you want to represent yourself as.
Kimberly: [inaudible 00:12:26] you.
Kimberly: Love [inaudible 00:12:28] topic. No, it’s like, “Man this sucks when I have to confront my friend. But hey, they are negative. I don’t feel good.” Don’t ignore your feelings. This is what we have to do as adults. We have to deal with these situations.
Katelyn: We do. And there’s a lot of research and books that talk about … I don’t like conflict either. It’s hard for me. It’s hard for me to have difficult conversations. But at the end of the day, once they’re done, they’re done and we get through them the best we can in our own way. And you don’t have to go in there and be stern. I tend to have softer energy and I don’t address things head on or as aggressive, but you can still get your point across and get there. So Minie, we have a lot of resources on the website. And books and other recommendations you can read and develop and kind of just dig in and have that self confidence to move forward.
Kimberly: Love it. Thank you, K.
Question 2: I recently transitioned to eating a plant based lifestyle and my husband supports my eating decision 100%. However, I feel like he may be holding me back from furthering my other wellness goals. He’s controlling of my actions at the gym, how I dress and judges other people. I don’t express how I feel most of the time because it starts an argument and I want to keep a positive atmosphere. Can you please provide any suggestions on moving past these struggles?
Katelyn: All right. This next one’s a big one too. We have from Madison living in South Carolina. I recently transitioned to eating a plant based lifestyle and my husband supports my eating decision 100%. However, I feel like he may be holding me back from furthering my other wellness goals. He’s controlling of my actions at the gym, how I dress and judges other people. I don’t express how I feel most of the time because it starts an argument and I want to keep a positive atmosphere. Can you please provide any suggestions on moving past these struggles?
Kimberly: Oh, this is a juicy question. Thank you Madison, so much for sharing. There’s a lot in here, honey. I send you a big hug and first of all, I want to acknowledge, I think it’s wonderful that you are in the space of becoming plant based and wanting to take care of yourself. So powerful. So empowering. And I love that you shared that with your husband and he’s supportive of that. I’m a little bit concerned when you say that he’s controlling of how you dress and your actions at the gym. And I’m also concerned that you don’t feel completely okay bringing it up because you don’t want to fight. And I think that this is very, very common where we’re just trying to keep the peace and so we suppress things. But the problem is, then the issues don’t really get healed and it can create repression and resentment and a lack of intimacy.
Kimberly: It can create … Whether we’re trying to control someone or they’re trying to control us, it’s just not the healthiest way to have a relationship. And ultimately, I was talking about this last week on the show or the week before, unhealthy behavior emerges, whether it’s relationship issues or with food, eating disorders or sleep disorders or something comes of not a fully open, healthy environment.
Kimberly: Ideally with relationships, we want to feel as free flow of energy. Just like when we’re digesting food that digests well, it comes in, goes through our GI tract, we pull the nutrients in through our small intestine, it gets to our colon, it’s processed and then it’s expelled. And we know where there’s holding or control or whatever and it’s held unnecessarily longer, that’s where bloating happens and constipation and inflammation and all sorts of disorders. So I feel like this may be a case where you want, if your husband’s open to it, you may want to look to a couples therapist, Madison, that can create a really safe environment for communication.
Kimberly: I’ve certainly done couple therapy in the past and even a session here or there, I found really helpful in our communication where you can say in a safe space, “I’m looking to better myself.” And just say, “Hey, I’m not trying to argue but I’m just trying to be authentic here.” If your husband’s open to it. This could warrant that. If you feel timid, if you don’t feel great about it. So that’s something I definitely recommend. You could research one in your area and just say to your husband so it’s not threatening, “Hey, I just want us to get closer and to work on our communication skills.” There’s deeper reasons that he’s trying to control you. Whether he’s not feeling confident in himself or he feels out of control in other parts of his life, like maybe his job or with his body. But it’s not okay for him to try to control you.
Kimberly: We are all in charge of our own happiness ultimately. We are in charge of our own decisions as adults. So something has to happen here. And again, I recommend a couples therapist or maybe just sitting down with him and saying, “Please listen. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to argue. Here are my concerns.” But just from the vibe of the question, Madison, I recommend the couples therapy in this case because if you just do a session or two it can really put it on a good track and maybe they teach you skills that will better communication in the future. What do you think, K? I know you’re a fan of couples therapy too.
Katelyn: Yeah, 100%. I mean relationships are like pulling back a layer of an onion and each person has their own layers and their own issues and their own insecurities. Then you come together and your partner may or not even be aware of what they’re doing. Depending on your partner’s demeanor, you may have to handle things in a certain way. Some people take feedback in differently so sometimes it can help to have a third party to be a moderator where you can talk openly and have somebody interject and say, “Did you hear what they said?” A lot of times if you’ve gone back and forth and you find that you are fighting, clearly your two communication style is not working together. I’ve had that in relationships and I have gone to couples therapy at different times in my life and I’ve found it’s helpful. Even if you don’t want to commit to going forever, but just those initial lessons you learn in communicating and just getting to the root of what the problem is.
Katelyn: Because if you’ve never even addressed, you say you don’t want to bring up these issues, your partner may not know it’s an issue for you and it might be a learned behavior from childhood and they’re just going along their day and it’s not affecting them, but it’s affecting you. So I 100% agree with what you’re saying, Kim, and just diving a little bit deeper. If you’re finding you can’t execute it on your own, there’s no harm in and asking for help.
Kimberly: Definitely. Exactly. Yeah. I think it can … If you research a good therapist you find one you connect with because that’s important. I really-
Katelyn: It takes time.
Kimberly: Yeah, I really do think it can help, Madison, and you deserve to feel empowered in your decisions, in your life and bettering yourself. Please do not push this down or, just not say anything because you don’t want to get in a fight with your husband. This needs to be addressed. You deserve to feel free and open and expansive and that will ultimately serve both of you and your family. When you feel great in your energy, then you have more love to give. So yeah, think about it, do some research. But that’s definitely what we recommend.
Katelyn: 100%. You want to feel good in your relationship, with who you’re spending a lot of your time with, your’re building your life with and it’s important. Some great tips. Let’s take a moment here to pause and take that all in. Kimberly and I are going to take a short break and then she’ll be back to answer the last two questions.
Kimberly: All right, beauties, we are back from our break and we have two more questions for you guys on this important topic of relationship detox. And again, we feel this is such an important topic because just the way that we may want to detox mercury from our lives, from eating less fish or we may choose to have a fluoride free toothpaste or use cleaner water. Everything affects everything else. So we could have the cleanest diet, but if we have toxic relationships, it can create inflammation in our bodies and completely disrupt our digestion. Even if we’re taking SBO probiotics every day it can completely throw our nervous system off, it can throw our hormones off, it can do all sorts of things. So again, in our holistic perspective of wellness and true beauty, this is such an important aspect oas well, because your relationships are so intertwined into your everyday life. So two more questions, K. I cannot wait to hear.
Question 3: My mother-in-law often makes me feel bad about myself and says things that make me feel like she thinks I’m not good enough for her son. I try not to let her comments bother me, but honestly they do really hurt me. My husband is aware of it and does what he can, but it still happens.
Katelyn: Yes, yes, for sure. Such a big part of everybody’s lives. So we have Tammy living in Los Angeles. “My mother-in-law often makes me feel bad about myself and says things that make me feel like she thinks I’m not good enough for her son. I try not to let her comments bother me, but honestly they do really hurt me. My husband is aware of it and does what he can, but it still happens.”
Kimberly: Tammy, I send you a big hug sister. Thank you so much for your question and for being in our community. I mean let’s just face it. This situation sucks. You know, we love our husbands and our partners, but sometimes we end up with not so great in laws and it’s unfortunate and hurtful and it’s not an ideal situation. So I just want to acknowledge right off the bat that this is not, it’s not ideal. And I can understand how much it hurts you. I will say mother-in-laws can be really tricky I think, especially with children. And there’s this element of back to control and nothing’s good enough for my child or my son and maybe not feeling great about themselves and having to share their child can throw up a lot for people. And if people aren’t happy with themselves, then they’re not going to be happy with anyone else.
Kimberly: So what I recommend in this case, Tammy, is to really hold your space when you are with your mother-in-law and don’t shrink. Because sometimes people that are overbearing or overcritical can smell fear or they can smell when someone is a little bit susceptible and they come more at you. So I recommend when you are going to see them, you just take some time to yourself to breathe, to meditate, to ground yourself and you just act as confidently and as present as possible.
Kimberly: And tit for tat, an eye for an eye never helps anything. So it doesn’t seem from your question that you’re the type of person to lash back. But I find sometimes if people say a comment that’s not very kind or has an energy behind it, I’ll kind of let it sit and I’ll say, “Oh, okay.” And don’t throw response product don’t apologize. Because what happens is like when we sit and circle, when you have to hear yourself. What we say in circle is we don’t give advice and we don’t judge.
Kimberly: So you hear yourself and you start to say, “Oh, did I say that,” or, “That wasn’t really nice,” or whatever. And that could be a way to kind of reflect back to your mother-in-law without having to be nasty. Just kind of give the space for her comments to sit. And hopefully by grounding yourself and meditating before, you feel less susceptible and a little bit more clear where you can start to see, “Oh this really isn’t about me,” which it isn’t. “I’m a great wife, I’m a great person. This has to do with some insecurity in her or some imbalance or some control issues. It’s really not about me.”
Kimberly: And hopefully it gives you a little bit more strength against that. And just let the comments, like I said, be there, so she can become more aware. Because I think sometimes when someone makes a nasty comment and then we try to scramble to smooth it over or make it less awkward or apologize, it can get lost on that person. But again, if you’re like, “Um hum,” and just let it be there, hopefully you can let herself be a mirror to herself.
Kimberly: And secondly, I mean, if she’s going to be real bitchy and mean to you, maybe that’s … I mean obviously there’s holidays and there’s times you didn’t want to cut her off, but now maybe you just want to communicate or spend a little bit less time. And I don’t think this is mean. I don’t think this is harsh. I think it’s like if she doesn’t make you feel good and she’s actually mean, and this is something that you have addressed and your husband’s addressed, what are you supposed to do? Be a punching bag. Right?
Kimberly: So I think there’s a loving way of holding space, being confident around her, but just withdrawing a little bit. And it’s not okay for her to be mean to you. It’s just not. And maybe if she starts to see that you’re pulling back a little bit … In Bubbie’s preschool they teach, because the kids sometimes hit each other with toys or whatever and sometimes Bubbie throws things or hits me sometimes and I say, “You know, Mama has to protect her body so I’m going to go over here because I need to keep my body safe.” And it’s almost like for adults, “Hey, I love you, you’re great, but I need to protect myself. I need to feel good about myself, so I’m just going to go over here right now.” And that may be a way that she starts to find more self-awareness as well.
Katelyn: Yeah. So hard with family and especially when you get married and as you mentioned, you don’t get to pick, the person you love, who their family is, how they act, how they treat you. But as you mentioned, the one thing we can control is our actions and how we respond and creating that space. And hopefully that will help. And as long as you have your husband’s support, which it seems like you do, you can stay strong in that and work through it. But family stuff takes time.
Kimberly: It does. It does.
Katelyn: Having a little bit of patience too, depending .. Sometimes people just take a little time to soften. Not saying it’s right, but sometimes people just aren’t aware of what they’re doing.
Kimberly: Yes. Yes. Exactly.
Question 4: My husband and I go through bouts of fighting over dumb random things. I’m thinking we just need to take more breaks from each other. Have you had this with any of your relationships and what do you suggest?
Katelyn: Yeah, unfortunately. Okay, so we have one more here. There’s been a lot to talk about today. Sort of round out the show. We have Samantha, living in Texas. “My husband and I go through bouts of fighting over dumb random things. I’m thinking we just need to take more breaks from each other. Have you had this with any of your relationships and what do you suggest?”
Kimberly: Samantha, thank you honey for this question. I love it. I think it highlights an important aspect of relationship detox. I’m sending a big hug, sending you lots of love. I love this. I 100% am a huge fan of breaks and independent time within a relationship. I have been in codependent relationships where we spent too much time together and I think it results, it can result in overfamiliarity as Yogananda calls it, where you start to say things and behave in ways that you wouldn’t with anyone else in your life because you just kind of get too comfortable.
Kimberly: And I think it can create that over dependency, that co-mingling where you think the other person should be a certain way, you control or you think they are responsible for your happiness. So I think personal interests, personal time, personal hobbies, personal all of it is so critical to a healthy relationship.
Kimberly: They say every healthy relationship, and I learned this again in Bubbie’s toddler group, every healthy relationship means time together and time apart. Time together, time apart. And I think that can cut back on fighting over dumb random things. I think some of that comes from just the friction of being around each other too much and everyday living and little annoyances start to add up. So yeah, Samantha, carve out time for yourself, spend time to do girlfriends, have some girls nights out, some just friend time. Go for walks by yourself, spend more time meditating. Just do more stuff on your own and your husband will do the same. And when you come together I think you appreciate each other more and it’s not as humdrum and you’re not just taking each other for granted. What do you think K?
Katelyn: 100% I agree with you. Yeah, it’s a tough one, right? Because I’ll go back and forth where I’m like, “I want to do everything,” but then there are the moments where when I first was in my relationship I was more obsessed and kind of neglected my friends and doing other things. And then as the relationship settled, I got back into me and I traveled, I went to Europe with my sister and I travel for work and I have my running club and my crafts and things like that. And I feel really good when I go do those things. Then I come back and enjoy the time we have together versus when we’re together all the time.
Katelyn: I definitely get a little bit more agitated or I just don’t feel the same. It is nice to have connection and contact with other people and not have that codependency. I’ve definitely had codependency in my relationships before, so I think those are all really good suggestions and what really creates a happy, balanced relationship. Our partner can’t give us everything. They’re not the perfect person. Sometimes we get things from other people. Maybe a friend is into something you’re into that your husband’s not, so you talk with her and you do things that fulfill you in that way.
Kimberly: Exactly, K. That’s what I was going to say when I was listening to you was this idea that all the relationships in our life nourish us in different ways. And I have gone through those periods where I didn’t see my friends as much and we’re like, “Yeah, I’m so excited about this new relationship,” and held off on making plans until I could see like what our plans were. But it’s very important to me, my women’s groups as you know, K. So I do circles. We have our online circle, then we do your public Solluna circles. And I do circles with my friends and I love that space. And I have a couple of different women’s groups. I do circle at my house and other houses and then I have moms groups and I get a different kind of nourishment being around women I find and friends than my husband.
Kimberly: And he’s like a guy guy. He doesn’t really … I mean he listens to my feelings, but the way I go into it with some of my friends, it’s just not the same. And I don’t want to put that on him because I do like to talk about different things. So yeah, I think when we have a balanced, our time needs to be balanced with all different relationships. It kind of makes them all be healthy, healthier. So yeah, I’m a big fan of breaks, time apart, more friend time, not getting lost in your romantic partner. So thank you for bringing that up Samantha. I think that’s an important way to round out our show.
Thought of the Week
Katelyn: Yeah, it’s definitely good touch point to have when we’re talking about relationship detox, that’s a big part of a lot of our lives. So with that K, we’re rounding out the show here. Is there anything top of mind for our quote of the week?
Kimberly: Yes, beauties, so I’m going to leave us with this thought today, which is “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” This is from Buddha. I love this quote. Let me say it again. “You, yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection,” from Buddha. And so as we close out this idea of relationship detox, remember that the most important relationship is the relationship with yourself. And feeling comfortable with yourself, nurturing yourself. We have so many resources for you guys, the foods, the supplements, the recipes and the programs and the Soluna circle, which has journaling and meditations for those cornerstones. So whatever means you go about it. I just want to say that it is true, we’ve all heard it, but it’s absolutely true that the more you work on yourself, all your relationships get healthier.
Kimberly: And if you find yourself in a pattern where you’re attracting the same kind of guy or woman or you’re finding you’re not as close to your friends as you want to be or whatever it is, when you spend that time really getting to know yourself and loving yourself, everything definitely does get better and you get stronger and you hold space for yourself. And the question with Tammy about her mother-in-law, I find that the stronger you are with yourself, people can smell it and they can feel it and they can feel that rising energy and you’re less likely to perhaps have people try to take advantage or put you down too. So it’s like you’re holding space for yourself in the world and everything gets better. Everything improves.
Katelyn: Beautiful, K. Well thank you for sharing that to round out the show. That definitely resonates with me. I want to remind everybody, we love to get your questions. Please submit them over on mysolluna.com/askkimberly. Fill out the form, ask us your question and you’ll see it on an upcoming show.
Kimberly: Awesome, K. Well thank you so much, love, for gathering and organizing the show as always and thank you beauties for tuning in. As K mentioned, we’re always listening. We are so grateful for you and for our community. So keep it coming and stay connected. We’re here on the all the resources, everything we just talked about. We love you and we will see you back here Monday for our next interview podcast. Until then, take great care. Have an amazing weekend, and sending you so much love.