Today’s solocast topic is: 3 Ways to Move Past Fear and Listen to Your Intuition
This topic was directly inspired by our Solluna Circle Zoom that we had last week, which our theme this month is developing intuition. And if you’re not familiar with our Solluna Circle, it’s our tribal community program. You are welcome and invited to join us. It’s over on our Solluna app.
We had a question from someone in the group, talk about intuition and how she has ideas about things she wants to do in her life and ways to move forward, however, it’s fear that stops her. And I thought about this idea of fear and about fear in my own life. I thought about how it plays out in the world, around us and what I’ve seen in clients. It’s something that I really want to talk about today from a really personal place, because fear is something that can pretty much destroy our lives if we give into it.
Fear is something that stops us from going for what we really want to create. Fear creates stagnation. Fear keeps us from tuning into our deepest wisdom, our deepest intuition, our deepest desires and loves. And it’s such a destructive force when it just clouds our lives and we don’t have tools and practices to get past the fear. I’m really excited to get into this topic and share ways to move past this fear and start listening to your intuition.
Topics Covered In 3 Ways to Move Past Fear and Listen to Your Intuition
#1. Connecting to love
#2. Tuning into the feeling of fear
#3. Stabilizing your body with the Four Cornerstones
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Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:
- Overcoming Fear and Pain with Andy Grammer
- Facing Fear and Getting Your Life Back
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- Happier With Gretchen Rubin & The Shame Game
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Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly: Hi Beauties. And welcome back to our Monday Solocast Podcast. I am super excited for our show today where our topic is 3 Ways to Move Past Fear and Listen to Your Intuition and therefore live your best life. And this topic was directly inspired by our Solluna Circle Zoom that we had last week, which our theme this month is developing intuition. And if you’re not familiar with our Solluna Circle, it’s our tribal community program. You are welcome and invited to join us. It’s over on our Solluna app.
Kimberly: And we had a question from someone in the group, talk about intuition and how she has ideas about things she wants to do in her life and ways to move forward, but it’s fear that stops her. And I thought about this idea of fear. I thought about it in my own life. I thought about how it plays out in the world, around us and what I’ve seen in clients. And it’s something that I really want to talk about today from a really personal place, because fear is something that can pretty much destroy our lives if we give into it. Fear is something that stops us for going for what we really want to create. Fear creates stagnation. Fear keeps us from tuning into our deepest wisdom, our deepest intuition, our deepest, deepest desires and loves. And it’s such a destructive force when it just clouds our lives and we don’t have tools and practices to get past the fear.
Fan of the Week
Kimberly: So I’m really, really excited to get into it today. Before we do, before we dive in, I just want to give a quick shout out to our fan of the week. His or her name is futago_pooh. I love this. I love this name. I am a terrible pronunciation of certain names, so I apologize in advance if that was incorrect. But he or she writes, “Always uplifting. I’ve been a Kimberly Snyder disciple since her first book. I love that her approach leaves room for individual lifestyles and preferences. She is a compassionate and understanding teacher, and I always feel inspired after listening to her podcast. Love you, Kimberly. Thank you so much for doing what you do.”
Kimberly: And futago_pooh, thank you so much for being our fan of the week. I feel so honored to walk this path with you and to be connected. I think that all of us find each other for a reason. I don’t believe in coincidences, personally. I think that there is a reason we’re here to support each other. We’re here to feel our best, to help each other. So thank you. Thank you for being in the community. And I send you a huge hug wherever you happen to be. Hugging myself right now and imagining that you are there. So thank you so much, my love.
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Kimberly: And Beauties, for your chance to also be shouted out as the fan of the week, please take a moment or two out of your day, leave us a review over on iTunes or wherever you listen to our podcast. And it’s just a great way to support the show. So I thank you so much in advance. While you’re over there, please be sure to subscribe to our show so that you don’t forget to listen or tune in in the middle of your busy life. It’s just a great way to have a constant source of positivity and self care flowing into your inbox. So you can hit that subscribe button and it’s just a great thing to do for yourself.
Kimberly: All right, all that being said, I am super, super excited for our show today. I just want to have a really candid conversation with you about getting past fear and what’s worked for me.
#1 Tip for Moving Past Fear and Creating Stability: Connecting to love
Kimberly: The first thing that I want to talk about is the fact that love is stronger than fear. And so no matter what you feel fearful of, maybe it is starting a new business or maybe it’s taking that leap and getting married or getting pregnant, or actually making a job change or a move to a different city. What you need to tune into is the love, the potential for love, and the love for what will be created as you move forward. And the more that you connect to love, the more that will start to outweigh the fear.
Kimberly: And for me, this becomes very visceral. I’ll give you an example. I was fearful about moving to where I live now, which is in the mountains outside of LA. And I used to live in the middle of the city. When I first moved here from New York, I was in West Hollywood and then I moved to Venice Beach. And now I’ve just moved further out to the mountains next to Malibu. And I had fear because I thought I would miss out. I thought it would be harder for me to stay connected to the greater community, to events. Pre-COVID, I was going to quite a few events with different industry people and just different things going on, different wellness events, different things I was speaking at. So I had all this fear about if I boil it down, I think it was missing out. And I just thought, “Well, maybe I should just look for another house in Venice. Or we should stay here, maybe Santa Monica, but shouldn’t go that far.”
Kimberly: But the love of I would come here to where we live in the mountains and we would go hiking and the love of nature and the love of the land and the love of feeling light and open and free was undeniable. I would come here and I would just feel really, really good and we’d go on a hike and I would see Eagles and rattlesnakes and mountain lions on occasion. And I thought, “Oh no, this suits my energy so much. I love this feeling, this wildness.” And there was just a part of me inside that knew intuitively that it would actually support my energy. And so I went with that. I focused on feeling the excitement of being in nature. And I would even visualize myself being in meditation or walking around with the boys and in nature and just how I would feel so connected. And I would feel really tuned in and I would feel free. And that really was my anchor, just focusing on the things that I loved and wanted and wanted to expand.
Kimberly: Because the truth is that whatever we focus on energetically will start to expand. There’s evidence of this in quantum physics. There are experiments actually where the experimenters would observe, let’s say, electrons in certain experiments and it would change their behavior and they would actually behave differently. And so how it applies to us is that what we focus on will grow and expand. So if we’re working to get past fear, if we focus on the potential and the love, let’s say your fear is about changing jobs and you really love interior design. If you focus on that love and the creativity that I feel, the excitement that I feel, that energy just grows and grows and grows. And eventually that will become bigger than the fear that is stopping you or holding you back.
Kimberly: So what I would encourage you to do is to write out in your journal. Let’s say it’s a particular situation, a specific situation about moving houses or moving to a different city, or moving in with your boyfriend or your girlfriend, or taking the leap and starting a website or a business or whatever it is. And I want you to just write out all the things that you love about this prospect. You might love the freedom that comes with it. You might love just being able to create what you want or not having a boss. Or you love the weather in the city. Or you love the chance to meet new people, to have a fresh dating crop. Whatever it is, feel it in your body and connect to what it is, whatever that is.
Kimberly: Or intuitively, let’s play it a little bit differently. Let’s say intuitively, you have this feeling that you want to break up with this person because I’ve been through this experience too. I’ve been through a lot of experiences, just like all of us. And let’s say that the fear is, “Oh, what if I don’t find somebody else?” Or a fear of being alone, flip that around to the love. Well, I know that I get so excited if I think about a really aligned partner. I want true love in my life. I’m excited about real connection. I’m excited about having the chance to do hobbies that I love. I don’t have time right now in this relationship, or I just love to be by myself more.
Kimberly: So whatever it is, just start to connect with the parts that you love and that light you up. And that make you really, really excited and start to focus on that. And what you can do besides writing it out in your journal is when you find times to center yourself, either going outside into nature or stillness or meditation. After you meditate or after you find that time or during it, sometimes if you’re just in nature, you can keep connecting back to those feelings of elation and joy and excitement and pure, pure love. And that will start to strengthen and strengthen so that over time, you will find yourself in a position where it’s easier and easier for you to… It becomes a no brainer. You connect with the love more than you do the fear.
Kimberly: And this is a process and it unfolds in a different time and in a different way for all of us. So I would just encourage you to keep showing up and to keep tuning into the love and to just watch the fear start to wane more and more in your life.
#2 Tip for Moving Past Fear and Creating Stability: Tune into the feeling of fear
Kimberly: So my second way to move past fear and listen to your intuition and live your best life is to tune into the feeling of fear as being stagnant and to feel the flow and the energy of love. So when we start to create more awareness of something, then it’s like watering a plant. It starts to bring whatever it is to the forefront of your mind and your heart. And that becomes an impetus for change. So when you start to notice fear, you can start to notice how it just creates a lot of stagnation in your body. You start to feel stuck, maybe you feel bloated, you just feel anxious. You just feel unmotivated to exercise. You can notice stagnancy means you start to really hate your job. You start to really feel like, “Oh, this relationship sucks. I don’t want to be here.” You start to find yourself just feeling stuck in life in general.
Kimberly: So I want you to just pay attention and witness that, because when you start to feel, again, just all that stagnation around, it doesn’t sit well. It won’t feel good to you. And the more you notice it, then the more you will be motivated to do something about it. It’s sort of like the opposite, by the way, is if we have a nagging feeling. Let’s say this feeling comes up over and over again that you’re not in the right relationship. And instead of noticing all the ways that you feel stagnant, noticing that you don’t feel good and you aren’t having the sorts of conversations and connection that you want to have, you distract yourself. You may be eating more cookies, or maybe you just are tuning out, drinking more wine or cocktails, or watching more TV than you might usually. Or you just find all the ways that you are repressing and suppressing instead of actually noticing.
Kimberly: And you can also notice when you are talking about the things that you love, or if you are engaged just in things that feel aligned to your heart, you’ll start to notice a sense of flow and an openness. And it’s almost a tingling feeling.
Kimberly: So another place where I felt fear was when I had to choose in leaving New York. Another moving example, because I think to me moving, actually physically moving, with all our stuff and our bodies and our lives is a really big change. And I moved from New York when my client work actually pulled me out to LA and I’d opened my first juice shop on Melrose. My next juice shop was in The Four Seasons in Beverly Hills, but the first one was in Melrose. It was called Glow Bio. And there was just all the reasons to move to LA, but still I felt, “Oh, what about New York? I’ve been here for a couple of years and I have a life here. I have a community here. I have my routine and my rhythms.” But I started to notice and tune in to this flow feeling and I would just, “Oh in LA there’s just this another chapter of my life and I can be outside more and I can just grow.” I just felt that.
Kimberly: And I started to notice that I felt stagnant in New York, as much as I had loved it for the time I was there. I didn’t care about restaurants and shopping and brunches in the same way. I was using every chance I could to get out of the city, actually, to go on retreats, to go hiking, to go to the Hamptons or to upstate.
Kimberly: I just started to notice that my interests had shifted so much, that I was actually feeling really stagnant in this little apartment in the West Village of New York. I had loved my life there. I do love my friends there and I still have them, but my life, when I started to notice it was stagnant, it was stagnating. And I was not feeling fully fulfilled at the end of my time there. Sometimes we don’t want to notice. Sometimes we don’t want to look, but authenticity always creates more freedom and more space. Authenticity is the way to really live an aligned, beautiful life of flow. So sometimes it takes a moment, but if we have the… We all have it inside of us, this ability to be courageous and strong and to look.
Kimberly: The more we just notice stagnation and we noticed flow, we notice how we feel, that really helps us get over the fear in the first place, because no one of us wants to feel stagnant. It doesn’t feel good. So then that starts to rise and we start to notice that we want to live a dynamic, beautiful, exciting, wonderful, fulfilling, meaningful life. And just by noticing it, and again, everything that we pay attention to starts to expand, we start to feel drawn to another way. We start to want to open up the space. And so that’s why it’s really wonderful and really beautiful to notice and to witness. This is a big part of the yogic path. It’s introspection. Introspection and authenticity will help us get over fear because we start to notice that, just like love is more powerful than fear. Our love of feeling inflow and a feeling dynamic becomes bigger than fear because we don’t want to be in that stagnant energy.
Kimberly: Something that I spoke about similarly in the Beauty Detox Solution, talking about our digestive tract. The difference between a flowing beautiful waterfall and a stagnant pond, nobody wants that stagnation in their system. Think about it in your body. If you don’t poo, if you don’t go to the bathroom for a few days, you start to feel heavy and you start to feel more stuck in your life. You just start to feel like you don’t have the motivation and the vitality to accomplish all the things that you want to accomplish. That’s really not a great place to be. So in contrast, when we start to really notice and we start to tune in, it just opens up so, so much for us. So that is my next thing that I really encourage you to do is just to notice your day to day feelings.
#3 Tip for Moving Past Fear and Creating Stability: Four Cornerstones
Kimberly: Number three is creating stability with the four cornerstones. Stability is really important because when we feel stable already where we are, it’s easier for us to move past fear and to make decisions that may pull us a little bit out of our comfort zone or make us feel a little bit uncomfortable because it’s different and it’s a change, and it’s a shift. Even if it’s a positive change, maybe you know that you love this person, your partner, and you feel a little bit anxious about it, but at the same time, deep down, you know that you want to move in with this person, or you do want to get married. You want to take the next step, whatever it is.
Kimberly: When you come from a stable place, then you don’t already feel unstable. So it’s, again, it’s just an easier place when we’re centered. It’s always easier to make a shift because it doesn’t feel as overwhelming. If we’re already unstable and we try to make a change, we just think, no, no, no, no, not now. This is not the time. I’ll do it later. And we push it off and sometimes we can push it off and push it off and push it off. And the fear just keeps us from ever getting to making that move or changing that job whatever it is that you really want to create and you really want to do. So we really want to create stability in our lives. And we can do that through our four cornerstone approach.
Stabilizing your body with the Four Cornerstones
Kimberly: I want to give you some tips on each of the cornerstones and how you can really stabilize your body, your energy, your life, so that it’s easier, again, to move past the fear. Our cornerstones are food, body, emotional wellbeing, and spiritual growth.
Kimberly: I’m going to start with food. And I’m going to say that with food, the two nutrients that I like us to focus on when we’re creating stability is number one, fiber and number two, fat, healthy fats. That is one of the attributes. One of the qualities of fat is that it has a stabilizing, the characteristics of it are just stabilizing. Ayurvedic medicine talks about this. But let’s start with fiber. Fiber is only in plant foods. And fiber also provides that fullness, that presence, that sort of stability that comes with a fullness that’s not heaviness. So sometimes when we’re looking to make decisions, we want to feel our energy.
Kimberly: We want to feel the fullness of our presence and eating fiber will do that because it will literally make your belly feel full. I think it’s everything in terms of energy. So sometimes it’s a little bit difficult to put the vocabulary to it. But think about it this way. If you drink a bunch of, let’s say fruit juice, how do you feel half an hour later? You may feel a little bit jittery. You probably feel still hungry, but let’s say you have a glowing green smoothie. How do you feel a half hour later? You probably feel satiated, energized, eyes wider open because it’s that fiber that stabilizes you. So fiber is always going to bring us to our center. Fiber is a wonderful way to calm us down and to promote this quality of equanimity.
Kimberly: Fat is also denser energy and something that keeps us from feeling floaty and flighty all the time. Healthy fats are really important for our skin, our eye health, our brain health, our nervous system health. So many different parts of our overall wellbeing including our physical and mental wellbeing really rely on healthy fats. So it’s important if you’re looking to get past fear, to make sure that you’re including adequate quantities. And I always do tend to like to source more of my fats from whole foods. So chia seeds, it’s in my power protein smoothie right now that I’m staring at, that’s right next to me on the desk. Avocados, I’m in a bit of a walnut phase right now. So healthy, nuts. And I cook with coconut oil, but I don’t like to over rely on oils because they’re not whole foods. But including some more healthy fats is definitely going to help your system feel more stable.
Kimberly: Our second cornerstone is body. And I would say here, I’ve talked about this a lot, but there’s really no way to get around it, that one of the most stabilizing things that you can do for your body is healthy touch. So the way that you put your skincare on at night, maybe it’s our Feel Good Solluna products. I always spend some extra time, especially with our Feel Good moisturizer. I put two coats and I really like to touch my skin in a loving way. Our nervous system is very affected by touch on the outside of our body. That’s why massage can be such a powerful practice, especially intentional massage and Abhyanga. There’s a lots more information on our site and my Radical Beauty book that I wrote with Deepak Chopra on Abhyanga, if you want to learn some of the ins and outs of a warm oil massage. I also just did a video on Instagram a little bit ago, so you can find it if you’re interested.
Kimberly: But basically, even just lotion, giving yourself a little bit of, putting lotion on your feet at night, anytime you can touch yourself, it’s going to provide stability because otherwise we get up into our heads and Aryuveda teaches, this Vata energy can make us feel flighty. It can make us feel anxious, but when we ground down into the here and now, when we ground down to where we are in our bodies, in our space, then we feel stabilized. And in that way, another practice that you could introduce is also grounding. We’re coming into spring, so maybe, hopefully it’s getting warmer where you are, but anytime you can literally put your feet in the sand, in the grass, in the earth, you’re going to feel more stabilized because nature has that ability and that quality to really nurture us and to help us feel whole and to help us just feel very powerful in here and now.
Kimberly: Our third cornerstone is emotional wellbeing. Here I would also highlight your journal practices. With fear comes a lot of unprocessed energy, I find. Because fear is very uncomfortable for a lot of us. So a lot of us don’t like to dwell in fears. Maybe we think we’re actually going to manifest it if we focus on it, or it’s just so scary that we turn our head, or maybe we delve into the fear. Like we watch news all day long, like some people I know about COVID, but we don’t really process the fear. We stay up at night instead, or we binge on a bunch of cookies instead.
Kimberly: So what we want to do emotionally is we actually do want to look at our fear. We want to notice it, just like we notice stagnation and feel into it. It doesn’t mean we’re going to manifest it. It doesn’t mean that we’re going to keep it. Actually, the more we process the fear, then we can start to let it go, and we can start to open up so we can move past the fear. And again, go with what our deepest gut instinct is, go with our intuition, go with what our heart tells us to do to create our best life.
Kimberly: So I encourage you, you can journal about it. You can write down what some of your fears are. Just like you wrote down with our first step, what you love about the potential, the future, what you could do. You could move to this city. You could possibly move in with this person. And now I’d like you to write out the fear associated with it. Maybe you’re fearful that you won’t have any friends in that new city. Maybe you’re fearful that you’re going to give up your space and then you’re going to break up with this person, whatever it is, just sit with it and notice it and feel it in your body and process it. And then you can look at your list side by side what you were fearful of and what is the love? And if there really is love there and you focus on it, that will start to expand and expand, and it will become so much bigger than the fear. It will help you. It will nourish you and it will provide you the strength and the clarity that you need to move towards the love and to move away from the fear.
Kimberly: Spiritually, with spiritual growth comes connection to the inner self, which is the most stabilizing practice of all. So the more you meditate, the more clear, the more centered you will feel. And the less fear you will have in your life, full stop, nonspecific. It’s true because you start to trust more. You trust that there’s more beyond what we see. You trust that there is higher intelligence and the divine is there. You trust in light. You trust in spirit. You trust in love. And that all comes from, these are some of the benefits of a meditation practice, which I know has done so much for me in my life and helping me move past fear.
Kimberly: So when I was, let’s think about the most difficult times in my life, big moves, moving through grief when my mom passed away, all the different fears, all the different things that come up. These are the steps that have really helped me and have made such a difference in my life. And I’ve shared them with some of my clients. I’m really excited to share it here in our space. We talk about it a bit in our circle. So, a lot of my ideas now in the podcast really do come from the community. So please do keep your questions coming in for the Q and A community podcast. And if this resonated with you at all, I definitely encourage you to check out our Solluna Circle, which is on our free app. There’s an app you can download, then there’s the membership section.
Kimberly: And I will also mention that you are so deserving and worthy of investing in yourself. I know that there is a slight membership fee. It’s not huge, but there is a fee, it’s 14.99, but the feedback that we’ve gotten so far when you focus on something, it expands. So even with our intuition theme, there were members that said, “I never really thought about my intuition or focused on it before this month.” So imagine just the value of diving into your intuition, of focusing on it and what that will do for your decision-making, helping to reduce mistakes, helping you feel more complete and fulfilled in your life, that’s priceless.
Kimberly: To me, the investment of really taking a deep dive in these themes, in these meditations, we talk about the cornerstones every month. There’s a elixir recipe to be in the community, it’s such an amazing investment. So I encourage you to check it out. It’s just a deeper way to come into our community and I would love to welcome you there.
Kimberly: I hope you enjoyed today’s show. As I mentioned, please keep your questions coming. Please keep writing in to us. I always love to hear how else I can support you. We will be back here on Monday for our next… Oh, sorry, Thursday for our next community show. I send you so much love, big virtual hug wherever you are. I can’t wait to connect with you more, until then, take care and so much love.