How to Access the Peace in Your Life When Trialsome Times Happen [Episode #674]
This week’s topic is: How to Access the Peace in Your Life When Trialsome Times Happen
It can be challenging to feel peaceful, even when things aren’t super challenging, just in the throws of daily life and the busyness with everything happening. Of course, when things get extra challenging, then the peace becomes more important and can feel extra challenging to access.
Today I want to go into some really practical tools for tapping into it because the truth is that while all of this is happening on the surface of life, there’s a lot of activity. There’s a lot of seeming duality, opposites coming together. Lots of contradictions, lots of confusion on the surface of life, underneath there is this mattress of peace, which we can all learn to access. It’s a steady part of our true self, our authentic nature. We just have to learn how to go underneath what’s happening, stay connected to that part of us.
As we flow through the human part of life, what’s happening on the surface, all the doings, all the tasks, all the running around, all the conversations, all the relationships, even in the midst of that, it is possible to access and to strengthen our relationship to that eternal peace. This is something that I love to talk about and to share openly what has helped me in my life and tools you can start using today.
Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!
Hi Kimberly! I’m working two jobs and trying to make time for my own passions, which is making this all very challenging for me to be healthy in all areas of my life. I feel like my self-love rituals have started slowing down. Can you talk a bit about how you move through these kinds of shifts?
Emery – Nebraska
We just had a loss in the family and I tend to overeat when sad or stressed and then feel so guilty about it afterwards. How can I find inner calm after I’ve made these decisions and prevent them from happening in the first place?
Parker – New Mexico
I was basically reprimanded in front of colleagues and didn’t think this was professional at all. I’m really trying hard to access my center and come from a place of understanding but when I’m in the middle of it all, it’s difficult. I can work on this at home but not so much when things come up in a moment’s notice. What tips can you share to help me when these types of traumatic events happen in front of others?
Anna – Washington
As I’ve been caring for my elderly grandmother and getting things in order for when she passes, I can’t help but think about my own living will/trust, and panicking a lot! What would suggest to help calm my nerves?
I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!
There are lots of ways to share your responses or questions about the podcast:
You may be really intrigued by podcasts, but you may just know how to listen or subscribe. It’s very easy, I promise! To listen to more than one episode, and to have it all in a handier way, on your phone or tablet, it’s way better to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the “Feel Good Podcast with Kimberly Snyder”? My passion is to inspire and empower you to be your most authentic and beautiful self. We offer interviews with top experts, my personal philosophies and experiences, as well as answers to community-based questions around topics such as health, beauty, nutrition, yoga, spirituality and personal growth.
The intention of the Feel Good Podcast is to well…help you really Feel Good in your body, mind and spirit! Feeling Good means feeling peaceful, energized, whole, uniquely beautiful, confident and joyful, right in the midst of your perfectly imperfect life. This podcast is as informative and full of practical tips and take-aways as it is inspirational. I am here to support you in being your very best! I have so much love and gratitude for you. Thank you for tuning in and being part of the community :).
LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES
Listeners really respect the views of other listeners, so your response helps people find good material they are interested in! If you enjoyed the podcast, please tell your friends and give us arating or review. Many thanks in advance.
Inspirational Thought of the Week
When you live from your center, you will start to make decisions from a completely different place. Instead of focusing on outer information, which can be contradictory and confusing, you find a place of inner clarity.
Feel Good Digestive Enzymes: Use code: wellness15 for 15% off
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly: 00:01 Hello, loves and welcome to our Thursday Q&A podcast where our topic this week is How To Access the Peace in Your Life When Challenging Times Happen. So it can be challenging to feel peaceful, even when things aren’t super challenging, just in the throws of daily life and the busyness and with everything happening. But of course, when things get extra challenging, then the piece becomes extra important and can feel extra challenging to access. So today I wanna go into some really practical tools for tapping into it because the truth is that while all of this is happening on the, the surface of life, there’s a lot of activity. There’s a lot of seeming duality, opposites coming together. Lots of contradictions, lots of confusion on the surface of life underneath there is this mattress of peace, which we can all learn to access. It’s a steady part of our true self.
Kimberly: 01:01 So authentic nature. We just have to learn how to go underneath what’s happening, stay connected to that part of us. As we flow through the human part of life, what’s happening on the surface, all the doings, all the tasks, all the running around, all the conversations, all the relationships, even in the midst of that, it is possible to access and to strengthen our relationship to that eternal piece. And so this is something that I love to talk about, and I love to share about openly because in my life, and I look back and even over the past decade, let’s say when I started writing books and going down this career, the increase in my personal piece is astronomical. And even as I started to heal my body and I started to learn how to eat, and there was some anxiety that reduced from that, I realized that that perfectionism, that overachieving, that tendency to wanna control things, to feel safe, all of that was keeping me from really feeling peaceful.
Kimberly: 02:09 So it was this approach, this focus on the four cornerstones and working in a wider and deeper way that I’ve been able to increase the peace in my life. And like I said to the point where, you know, you realize it is priceless just the day to day experience, feeling more chilled, more laid back, feeling that real unity moment to moment. This is something that we cannot put a price on. And I know if I can increase my piece that you can as well, a universal truth means it’s true for each and every single one of us, not just some of us. And so the Vick texts and the great yoga group, Paramahansa Yogananda talked at length about calmness, about peace, about equanimity as the, as part of the human potential. So something that we can all learn to access. So I’m really excited to get into our show today to hear your questions, which of course have been sourced from our beautiful, loving, vibrant community.
Please leave a review on iTunes
Kimberly: 03:13 And talk about this from a very practical standpoint, because again, it’s, it’s nice to hear inspiring messages and learning the teachings as part of growth, but the practices, how we embody this, how we experience peace, what we call on, what tools we call on in times of anxiety and confusion. This is really what we need to keep moving forward. So before we get into our show today, a little reminder as always to please leave us a review on iTunes. I have said this before. You may have heard me say this before. If you’ve put it off, maybe today is the day where you will take a moment out of your day and leave us a review, which is free and easy and just an amazing way to support the show. So I thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart, it really does mean the world. It helps other Beauties find the show. It keeps the show going for free. So thank you so much in advance. Please be sure to also subscribe to our show. So you don’t miss out on any of these Q&A shows, which are always on, on Thursdays or our Monday interview shows or solo casts, and also share the show with anyone you think would benefit. It’s an amazing way to support others. It’s been one of the foundations of my philosophy from the start is just share, share, share something, works, help other spread the word. And what it does is it, it feels really good to share. And it also just opens up the love and the expansion in your own life, across the board. So as it applies here, if you, if you know anyone that would benefit from the vibe of our show, from the information of our show, please spread it to them.
Kimberly: 05:02 And it’s just a great way to spread the love. And finally, I will say my loves our new book, baby is here. She is birthed into the world. Her name is you are more than you think you are practical enlightenment for everyday life. If you haven’t yet picked up your copy, the price seems to keep going down, Amazon. It is there. It is also anywhere. Books are sold local book, sailors, Barnes, and noble target. So please pick up your copy, which is packed with practical tools, teachings information on subjects that are, you know, the fundamental subjects of life, more in peace, intuition, vitality, love, wholeness, creativity, abundance. And so you can learn how to tap into your true power, the power of the true self, the power of the central nervous system, moving from scatteredness and always looking outward with our peripheral nervous system into instead a, a very deep, calm, centered place where we can discern the best decisions and the best ways to care for our bodies and our lives and our relationships.
Question #1 around the topic of: How to Access the Peace in Your Life When Trialsome Times Happen: Hi Kimberly! I’m working two jobs and trying to make time for my own passions, which is making this all very challenging for me to be healthy in all areas of my life. I feel like my self-love rituals have started slowing down. Can you talk a bit about how you move through these kinds of shifts?
Kimberly: 06:15 So I’m very excited for you to read the book. All right, loves all that being said. Let’s get into our topic today. We have two more. We have four questions for you. I’m looking ahead here. So great. Let’s just jump right in. The first one comes from Leah who did not give a location, but sending you lots of love, Leah, wherever you are, and you write hi, Kimberly, I’m working two jobs and trying to make time for my own passions, which is making this all very challenging for me to be healthy in all areas of my life. I feel like self love rituals have started to slow down. Can you talk a bit more about how you move through these kinds of shifts? Yes. So Leah, totally get there. I’ve been in there myself. I have been a hustler in the past. I remember a time when I was, you know, just walking all around New York city.
Kimberly: 07:07 I was teaching yoga privates and I was teaching yoga group classes, yoga a and I was starting to work with nutrition clients. And I was at this cafe in the east village for a time. I was interning there in exchange for some education. I mean, I was hustling and I was, I was walking sometimes I couldn’t afford a subway ticket. So I know what it’s like to be very busy and still want to grow, wanna evolve and wanna nurture the seeds in which you wanna birth. So when I reflect back on that time, I had some non-negotiables the rituals, the meditations that even when I was busy, I, I knew that I could not move my energy away from those things because it was sort of keeping the ship going. So I encourage Julie to really at I your morning and your evening routine, which are the bookends of your day.
Kimberly: 08:07 And so these are the parts of our day where we do have more control right in the middle of the day, you’re working and you’re, you know, running from job to job. There isn’t that much freedom in the schedule, but even if it requires you to get up 15 minutes earlier or minutes earlier, 30 minutes earlier, the benefits of having a real solid system a morning practice under your belt before you show up for job, number one is going to keep you moving forward with your passions. It’s going to keep your energy and check and centered. It’s going to keep your body healthy and, and VI full of vitality. If we start to neglect our practices, even when schedule’s busy, we don’t have the same efficiency in our energy. We don’t have the same flow. We feel more anxious. We feel more scattered. We may have insomnia.
Kimberly: 08:56 Our mind is racing all the time. So, um, I’ve referenced this quote before I’m paraphrasing here, but I really love this quote. I heard from Martin Luther king where he said something like when I’m, you know, when normal life I pray for one hour before I start my work, except for the times when I’m really busy. And on those days, I pray for two hours, right? So it is our practices, the core practices that we do not want to kick out the window, even when things get busy. So I’ll run through it. Um, succinctly here, Leah, for me, what I recommend is in the morning, lots of room, temperature, water, and these are the basics we can add on things like tongues, scraping and oil pulling and fun, things like that. But at a very basic level room, temperature, water, hot water with lemon to get present in your body and to help support digestion, Glowing Green Smoothie® for the fiber and all the vitamins and mineral and nutrition, meditation, always the most important part of the morning practice, hands down and then journaling.
Kimberly: 10:04 And in the space of journaling, I reflect, I think about anything I need to let go of still things. I’m grateful for things I want to create in the day, my intention for the day. So you can do that. And I would do at before. I would get to, you know, when I schedule was, so Palia the journaling part. I remember sitting on the New York city subways, and that’s when I would journal. But the other components, which are the same here, you know, well, over a decade later, I’m still doing it. It makes me crank like a machine. And then in the evening it varies a little bit, but the basic components are warm shower to delineate the work day from the rest part of the day and an elixir, definitely every night, the hot, the heat of drinking something hot. It could be simple as hot water with lemon again, or ginger water.
Kimberly: 10:59 We have a million elixir recipes over at mysolluna.com, by the way, and in the Solluna Circle, every month we post, uh, a elixir recipe that’s specific for the theme of the month. And this month, our theme is rituals and habits and how to create safety inside of yourself in an unpredictable uncertain world. So in the evening, uh, what was I saying? Oh yeah. So there’s the licker, there’s journaling, there’s meditation. So Leah, what I encourage you to do is build for yourself. You could, you know, take on any of those components, of course, add some of your own that feel really good to you, but make sure that you are supporting yourself. Like I said, the beginning and the end of the day, which will direct the flow of energy and help to nurture your nerve, your nervous system, your all important nervous system, which of course affects hormones. Immunity. Endocrine system is our sleep pattern so much. So it’s really important to direct the flow at the beginning of the day and to release anything that’s pent up and to get more into rejuvenative rejuvenation part of your day in the evening. So focus on those, my love and let me know how you do. And of course, please keep in touch with me and let me know how I can keep supporting you. Leah, thank you for being part of our community and sending you so much love.
Question #2 around the topic of: How to Access the Peace in Your Life When Trialsome Times Happen: We just had a loss in the family and I tend to overeat when sad or stressed and then feel so guilty about it afterwards. How can I find inner calm after I’ve made these decisions and prevent them from happening in the first place?
Kimberly: 12:21 All right. Our next question here comes from Emery who lives in Nebraska and Emery. You write my love, sending you a big, big hug out there to the Midwest where I have not in to that specific state, but I’m so joyful that we’re connected. So thank you so much for writing in and you’re right. We just had a loss in the family and I tend to overeat when I’m sad or stressed, and then I feel guilty about it afterwards. How can I find inner calm after I have made these decisions and prevent them from happening in the first place, all Emery sending you such, such a warm cuddle right now. I know, I know that feeling of, of great loss and it is a lot for the body and the mind to, to pro, to, to process a trauma like that. So what happens for a lot of us is when we are having big feelings, we deflect or distract or try to quell them, and this can happen in a million different ways going on social media, numbing, movie, Netflix, alcohol food, travel like a million different ways.
Kimberly: 13:44 So a couple things here, I didn’t get this until very recently, actually the last few years that we do have to metabolize our ease, um, our emotions rather to allow them to flow through. So really in the way that we strengthen our digestion, our, our actual digestive tract for food, with things like taking SBO Probiotics and having lots of gut friendly fiber, which so feeds the short chain, fatty acids in your gut and creates systemic, um, systemic dein inflammation and so on and so forth besides, um, you know, just the, the, the food component is such an important part to realize that, yes, we need to eat every day, but when we start to, um, hold on a second. Sorry, Eric, just go back. I lost my train of thought. Okay. Oh, I was talking about digestion. Okay, here we go again. So just as your digestive system has to, um, strengthen over time with having things like SPO, oh, let me start that again. 14. I’m just gonna start this whole train of thought again. One second.
Kimberly: 15:18 So just like we need to strengthen our digestive system with things like taking SBO probiotics and eating lots of fiber, which feed the short chain fatty acids in our gut, reduce inflammation and help move matter through, there are elements of strength and digestion, and we can actually similarly do this with our emotional resilience. And so this was something that I learned quite recently, Emory and I didn’t, I wasn’t taught this growing up. I didn’t really understand that we also have to strengthen our emotional digestion. So what that mean is widen widening ourselves and our resilience to be able to deeply feel all the feelings, all the emotions, including pain and sadness, and really feeling it and understanding that similarly to digesting food, we do not, you know, it does and go on forever and ever there is the bottom of the well, so it is in that full metabolizing of an emotion and energy to the end that we then start to release it.
Kimberly: 16:28 So it happens more and more, you know, it’s Dr. David Hawkin says we get to the bottom of the, well eventually. So when I was metabolizing the grief of losing my mother five years ago, I would sit in that grief and it would feel so intense sometimes. I didn’t know if I would make it out of some of the bouts almost felt like I couldn’t breathe, but it did get the intensity started to light inop I wanna say it got easier. It, it did start to metabolize. I would feel it, it would pass. It was Hawkin said usually under 10 minutes, as long as you’re focusing on the intensity of the emotion and the energy and the feeling, not the thoughts, right? The thoughts can just keep spiraling for everyone, go down into your body and actually feel the pain, the sadness. And so I will say Emory, that feeling and setting aside the space and the time to allow yourself to feel means that you don’t have to project it out to other people.
Kimberly: 17:28 You don’t have to project it out. Other objects, including food, as a way to try to quell the pain. If you increase your resilience and just a, let yourself really feel it, it will pass through. And so it, you you’ll feel a sense of lightness after about that’s what I would feel. I would feel it and feel it cry, uh, like 10 minutes, eight minutes, 10 minutes. It would feel lighter afterwards. So that’s as much as I could release in that one particular session. And then it would come back and I would do the same thing. So I definitely recommend that it’s like the, the turbulence and underneath as the peace underneath as the calmness. So we can keep accessing that piece by feeling through, it’s almost like a tunnel down to the piece. You can think of it that way. The other thing is, you know, um, not, you know, feeling guilty, we have to recognize, and this is part of the self love.
Kimberly: 18:25 This is part of the wholeness. So there is a chapter in the new book called you are whole, and this is a wonderful chapter for you, Emory, where there’s a practice about writing out some of the behaviors that you’re very proud of your characteristics, very thoughtful, very loving, you know, da, da, da, da. And then we write down the behaviors and the characteristics that we don’t necessarily like to admit, but we know that are also present in our lives at times, like being mean or exclusive or thoughtless or whatever it is. And so we can look at those behaviors, which still are on the surface. And then we recognize, oh, you know, I’m human. And so I mess up and that’s part of being human. And then, but we Jo it doesn’t affect our worth because underneath all of those behaviors is the true self is who you really are, is the eternal part of you, your soul, the formless energy in you.
Kimberly: 19:25 And so at the same time, we’re eternal and formless, but we’re human. And so when we recognize that, em, when we start to really take in and accept our wholeness, it means that we don’t feel so guilty. We don’t take things so seriously, we learn our lessons and we move on. Sometimes we make the same, you know, we go down the same path. And so we try to take in the same lesson, but it’s okay. You know, we’re, we’re growing and we’re all, we don’t have to beat ourselves up. Like I said, it’s not so serious. Life doesn’t have to be so serious. You know, I overate it’s okay, I’m going through a really hard time. So then we recognize we connect to the deep stable part of us. This is where peace lives in the true self. And at the same time, we recognize the human of playing on the surface and we give ourself a break.
Kimberly: 20:17 So wholeness is really the energy to embody here, Emory. And as I said, I really recommend reading that chapter. Your whole, I think you’ll resonate with it very much, sending you so much love. I’m sorry to hear about your loss, but you have a very supportive community here and we are here with you and I’m here for you. Definitely. Please keep in touch with me and let me know how else I can support you. I’ll write my loves. Thank you so much for being part of this very important episode.
Kimberly: I will take a short break for us now, but we will be right back in just a few moments,
Question #3 around the topic of: How to Access the Peace in Your Life When Trialsome Times Happen: I was basically reprimanded in front of colleagues and didn’t think this was professional at all. I’m really trying hard to access my center and come from a place of understanding but when I’m in the middle of it all, it’s difficult. I can work on this at home but not so much when things come up in a moment’s notice. What tips can you share to help me when these types of traumatic events happen in front of others?
Kimberly: 21:03 High loves, and welcome back from the break. We have two more questions for you on this topic of how to access the peace in your life when challenge happen. And the first question comes from Parker who lives in New Mexico. Hi Parker, sending you lots of love out there. My love, I do very much enjoy New Mexico. I’m not sure where you are down there, but, um, if you could see me right now, have my hands on my heart and I’m sending you love wherever you are. Your question is I was basically reprimanded in front of colleagues and I didn’t think this was professional at all. I’m really trying hard to access my center and come from a place of understanding. But when I’m in the middle of it all, it’s difficult. I can work on this at home, but not so much when come up in a moment’s notice, what tips can you share to help me when these types of traumatic events happen in front of others?
Kimberly: 22:03 Wow. Parker sending you so much love. This is a tough one. And whew, it’s, it’s a big one. It’s something that I can also relate to. Um, you know, we, we don’t know where some people are in their journey and sometimes people can say things in front of others. I’ve definitely had situations with clients and things where, you know, people may be having a really hard time or a bad day or whatever it is. And they lash out they project. And an unfortunately on the receiving end, what we don’t wanna do, we can feel really bad about it. We can feel embarrassed. It can bring up a lot of shame, but it’s really important Parker, you know, one of the four agreements that can feel hard, but it is the truth is to work on really not taking it personally. Remember it is a non-personal thing, how people behave, how they conduct themselves is a reflection of their interstate and their journey and what they’re going through and where they are in their life.
Kimberly: 23:11 And you’re right. It is not professional. It’s not, you know, perhaps the best way to have handled things. So there’s a couple things here. Um, number one, like I said, is the truth that, you know, this could have been handled in a better way. Number two, to not take it personally, number three, to take the lessons from this, you know what, um, you know, what could I, you know, what could Parker have done per perhaps differently in that situation? Um, okay. Like, yes, this, this, you know, was something that I owned and then the next part is saying, but I don’t own the way that I was treated. So this was on this other person, this was on my, you know, whatever colleague. So this is the part that you, I would feel into you feel into, with your own wish. And does it require a conversation where you come forward to that colleague and say, Hey, you know, I own this part of the situation, but it didn’t feel good to me when you called me out in front of the team.
Kimberly: 24:16 And it felt really, um, just, uh, you know, demoralizing or if you wanna have that conversation, I would definitely be upfront and not emotional and not accusatory, but just really explain how you feel to me. That’s what a healthy work environment is when we can come to each other with openness and honesty and creating a safe space for creating those kinds of conversations. I don’t know what the company culture is, their Parker, but full expression can feel really good in the healing of this, of, in, of this trauma, right? It’s like, we take the lessons we realize it’s not personal. And sometimes it does require that confrontation and sometimes not. And then we let it go. We, we take the lessons, we let it go. Right. So that’s the really important part here is to not hold on to any sort of shame about this, not to make it a bigger deal, not to make it fit a story we may already have, which is like, oh, I’m not good enough.
Kimberly: 25:21 Or da, da yeah. I deserved it, whatever it is. And then we, the shame is what it feels very, um, inflammatory I found and, you know, with myself too, like the matching shame of, oh, this person said this and oh, maybe I, I am, you know, was being careless. You know, whatever it is, we match our wounds, match what someone’s saying, you know, they’re calling us out. And so it bring up a lot from the past. So that’s part of the learning of the lessons. Is there anything to learn from this? Oh, is this part of my old stuff? Yeah. I’m just gonna let it go. So introspection is really powerful here at Parker, really journaling about this. I would replay it. Um, and then another tool that I learned from Dr. Cross recently came on the podcast is going through the situation from what is called distanced self talk to help yourself not identify with it, not take it.
Kimberly: 26:19 So, uh, personally, so for instance, you know, replaying it in your journal, okay. Parker was, you know, walking along and then da, da, da. And this happened, then Parker feels like this. Um, but you know, in hindsight, Parker, you know, will explain this. And then Parker realizes it’s not about her and she will move on. She will let it go, whatever it is. So there is something healing about reframing the traumatic event from that third party. There’s actually research about this, like using your name in the third party Parker or this Parker that, so you can try it for yourself, which I sounds silly, but can be really great for your brain to start to distance from the situation and not let it continue to, to simmer and affect you. Right. So we want, we really want to move on from this. And then the other thing I would, I also recommend Parker that you read the UR whole chapter in the book because shame is a really big thing.
Kimberly: 27:19 Um, I didn’t realize how much shame I held onto until it get in the past few years and really taking a deep dive and really going deeper into this work and understanding that, oh, this heaviness, it causes a lot of, um, triggers and a lot of stories because I’ve just carried so much shame, shame for looking different shame, shame for thinking. I wasn’t good enough shame for all the times. I messed up like a million things. So then we realized, oh, I can actually release this heaviness. And so it’s not something that happens overnight. And I do rely on the practices and the meditations in the book that I share every day. But I can say as someone that’s put that spotlight on the shame and releasing it and putting a spotlight on reframing certain situations and realizing it wasn’t so personal and that I can move forward into more freedom is something else that’s priceless that peace that comes on the other side of releasing shame, realizing like, shoot, we’re messed up, but we’re all human.
Kimberly: 28:27 And what is not affected, what can never be shamed, which can never, or worth, can never be taken away is the true self who you really are, can never really be affected by any of these things. So it’s so important that we take that time to introspect to see what’s going on in our interstate and recognize if there’s anything to really let go of and to take the steps to do that. So again, the practices are in the book. I wanna really, um, bring this up Parker because please don’t hold onto this incident, which again, you may have perceived as embarrassing or whatever it, it is possible to move through this. And please don’t take it personally. I know easier said than done, but check out all the things I just mentioned. Please keep in touch with me. Let me know how you do sister sending you so much love.
Question #4 around the topic of: How to Access the Peace in Your Life When Trialsome Times Happen: As I’ve been caring for my elderly grandmother and getting things in order for when she passes, I can’t help but think about my own living will/trust, and panicking a lot! What would suggest to help calm my nerves?
Kimberly: 29:20 Okay. My loves. And we have one more question for you on this really deep, wonderful topic. Our last question comes from Anna, who lives in Washington. Hello, my love. Thank you so much for writing into us. And you write as I’ve been caring for my elderly grandmother and getting things in order for when she passes, I can’t help, but think about my own living will and trust and panicking a lot. What would suggest, what would you suggest to help calm my nerves? So, Anna, thank you so much for your question and your vulnerability. Sending a big hug, taking a couple deeper breaths. So anxiety and panic come when we get too caught up in the what ifs and the future, and it’s all this, these scenarios, which aren’t here and it doesn’t exist. So Dr. David Hawkins has a, um, he has a, a method for quantifying truthfulness in, in situations.
Kimberly: 30:29 You know, it’s a little bit hard to explain here, but anyways, what he goes on to say is any sort of, um, moments or in your brain, you’re saying, well, what if this happened, or I should have done this? Anything that isn’t really a reality. It always registers as false. It always has a very low, um, score as far as true power versus force, you know, as whole system. So anyways, what I’m trying to say, Anna, is that we get into the head. The head is very tricky. The ego likes to trick us. The ego plays it, you know, spins in different circles and keeps us in fear and makes us panic. And it’s all based on future. What ifs based on some sort of ideas or trauma or anything from the past that makes us anxious about the future, but it’s all he, your future past here, nothing is in this moment of the present.
Kimberly: 31:28 So what you wanna do, Anna, when you see your mind, you know, running there, it’s not something you need to worry about right now. You can prepare for that and then you can let it go. It’s definitely not something to obsess about, but what you want, when you feel those coming, you just start to remind yourself, oh, I’m going, I’m I’m reacting right now. You know, or whatever it is to your brain, you can just start to identify, or you can use the distance self talk, oh, Anna’s having a little reaction. And then what you do, the safe place to escape anxiety is not the head. I found it instead of to go through like calming yourself down with thoughts is just forget the thoughts for the moment and go into your body and put the full focus on your body. So we start to feel where our feet are, the bottoms of your feet.
Kimberly: 32:16 Where am I standing? You start to feel your, um, your hips on the seat or the chair you’re sitting on. And then something that, uh, Dr. Peter Levine, who’s a trauma expert. What he recommends in his books is giving yourself literally a self hug. So taking your hands and grabbing the outside of the opposite arms, there’s something in your brain. He says that, um, when you create this container for physical safety starts to help your body reregulate. So you take a pause, like I said, you get into your body, you take some deep breaths, you can even put your hands, you can do the self hug, then move your hands down to your belly and make sure that the belly is rising and falling. And you’re taking those beautiful deep breaths in and out. And you take 90 seconds, three minutes, 90 seconds, at least, which is when we know the, the parts of the brain start to catch up.
Kimberly: 33:09 And the prefrontal cortex starts to turn on and away from the over emotional a amygdala. And what this does is it starts to really allow you to regulate and for the rational part of our brain to turn on, and then you can say, oh yeah, yeah. Okay. I don’t need to worry about this right now. It’s just my ego, the fear starting to play up. I’m I’m okay. And it’s true that you are okay in that moment. You are okay right here right now. So mind goes off Anna, we come back to the real point of peace. Peace is now peace is in the presence of the true in the moment. Peace is when we access the true self peace is when we start to go below the thoughts, the surface, right? Like I said, the beginning of the podcast, and we go down into the mattress of peace when we Rere.
Kimberly: 34:01 So the, the body has to be a big support here. The body has to calm the breath, calm the racing heart, come into this moment. So use the body as the most powerful tool, very powerful tool. When we start to get off into the, what ifs in anyways, what if, what if I’m not doing enough? What if I’m not good enough? What am I gonna do in the future? What if I don’t have enough money? We are okay right here right now. So we sink deeper into the right here right now, whenever anything goes off that throws us off and we reregulate. And then we come back with more clarity and more resilience back into the moment.
Kimberly: 34:41 So I hope that helps Anna. Some of these tools, of course, there’s a lot more in the book I’d love to share with you about, and in a deeper love, you know, in a wider, um, way, really keeping up with your daily meditations is also really important so that we stay more in the present as we flow through our day and we flow through life. So thank you so much for being part of our community. And thank you so much for your question, sending you so much love.
Thought of the Week
Kimberly: 35:40 All right, loves before we sign off, let’s get to our quotes of the week. And this one comes from page 100 of the new book. When you live from your center, you will start to make decisions from a completely different place. Instead of focusing on outer information, which can be contradictory and confusing, you find a place of inner clarity.
Kimberly: 35:40 I’ll say it one more time. When you live from your center, you will start to make decisions from a completely different place. Instead of focusing on outer information, which can be contradictory, contradicting and confusing. You find a place of inner clarity. So it’s, it’s the inside where clarity comes it’s the inside or peace will be found, not from trying to control anything on the outside. It will only come from the inside. But the good news is we have lots of tools and resources to strengthen that connection to the inside piece. I hope that some of the ones we talked about today with you, that you can apply to your own life as always, please also check out the show notes for more information, more articles, meditations, which you can also access on our Solona app. The practical enlightenment meditations are free and be, uh, fairly succinct. You can do them in under 10 minutes, recipes and more check out all of that at mysolluna.com. I will be back here Monday for our next interview podcast. I’ll be on social at underscore Kimberly Snyder. So to then take care of your amazing, essential, unique, beautiful self that you are now must stay sending you lots and lots of love and gratitude.