How This Scientifically Proven Method Can Help You Achieve Your Goals with Joanna Grover [Episode #843]
This week’s topic is: How This Scientifically Proven Method Can Help You Achieve Your Goals with Joanna Grover
I am so excited to have my very special guest, Joanna Grover, who is an executive coach with two decades of experience as a cognitive behavioral therapist and author of the new book THE CHOICE POINT: The Scientifically Proven Method to Push Past Mental Walls and Achieve Your Goals. Listen in as Joanna shares what the Choice Points are, imagery and overcoming past patterns of trauma, how sensory comes into play, and so much more!
TOPICS COVERED
- What are the Choice Points and how often do they come up?…
- Imagery and overcoming past patterns of trauma…
- How sensory comes into play…
- How to deal with strong pulls for instant gratification…
- The Slap Technique and how to use it…
FEATURED GUEST

About Joanna Grover
Joanna Grover, LCSW, is an executive coach with two decades of experience as a cognitive behavioral therapist specializing in anxiety. She’s worked with the US Department of Commerce, Olympic athletes, and C-Suite executives, and she is a board-certified coach and member of the International Coaching Federation and the Harvard Institute of Coaching. Joanna lives in Miami. Her new book, co-authored with Jonathan Rhodes, is THE CHOICE POINT: The Scientifically Proven Method to Push Past Mental Walls and Achieve Your Goals, published earlier this year by Hachette Go.
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Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:
- How to Create Community and Reach Life Goals with Jeff Krasno
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- How to Create a Holistic Lifestyle to Achieve Your Goals
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Transcript:
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly: 00:01 Namaste loves and welcome back to our Monday interview show. I’m so excited to share my conversation with you today with Joanna Grover, who is the co-author of the book, the Choice Point, the Scientifically Proven Method to Push Past Mental Walls and Achieve Your Goals. She is a cognitive behavioral therapist specializing in anxiety. She’s worked with Olympic athletes, many executives, and the US Department of Commerce, and I have to say that I loved speaking to Joanna because whilst the book and her work is very scientifically based, it also feels very holistic to me. It feels very spiritual and a lot of it is based on this idea of holistic imagery and using our imagination and using that to propel us into the future that we want. So I’m very excited to share the show with you in just a moment. Before we do, little reminder to check out our website, my sauna.com, where you can submit questions for the q and a shows where you can find more podcasts articles.
01:14 I’ve written thousands of blogs over the years that I think you would enjoy. There are also thousands of plant-based recipes that are simple and delicious meditations and more. Everything is over there, so please be sure to check it out. Alright, all that being said, let’s get into our interview today with Joanna Grover.
Interview with Joanna Grover
Kimberly: 00:28 Joanna, thank you so much for joining me here today. I loved your very interesting book, the Choice Point, and it’s been sitting in my living room for some months and I’m really excited that we were able to get our schedules work and for some time to chat today. So first of all, thank you so much for coming on our show.
Joanna: 00:57 Oh, thank you. I’m delighted to be here. And as you pointed out the choice point, it’s a book that takes some time to sort of percolate because it challenges our daily routines.
Kimberly: 01:10 It’s interesting when you even boil it down to these moments, these choice points. Do I do this, do I not? Because sometimes, as you know, Joanna, we get so many thousands of thoughts. We don’t really think about the ones that are truly impactful in our future and moving our lives forward. So can you talk a little bit about defining it more clearly, what these choice points are and how often they come up in our days and in our lives?
Joanna: 01:39 Of course. Well, I’m glad you brought that up because the way we see choice points is there are these split second decisions that we make usually right before a challenge. Am I going to go for a run or am I going to stay in bed? Am I going to order dessert? So these decisions that either take us closer to the life we want or they derail us and take us further so we have them all day long. We don’t want you to think of one of these decisions, just drive yourself and the people around you crazy, but the ones that are attached to your goal and to your life, purpose and meaning. Those are the choice points that we’re talking about.
What are the Choice Points and how often do they come up?
Kimberly: 02:23 So we’re going to get into all the imagination and the imagery, which I thought was really fascinating. And it was also interesting that your foreword was from Martina nva. We know with athletes, this has been something that we’ve heard about before, but we don’t necessarily apply it to our lives of those of us who are non-athletes. But before we get there, Joan, I wanted to ask you, there’s this part in the book where you talk about spontaneous thoughts, and I think most all of us can relate to things coming in and like you said, maybe they’re aligned with our values, maybe they help us a lot of times they don’t. How much of that is informed by trauma patterns from the past? I mean, you hear a lot about neuroplasticity and there’s so many around trauma now with your work and going into the imagery again, which I’m simplifying here, but we’ll talk about in a second. Is that a tool for helping us to overcome some of these past patterns of trauma?
Imagery and overcoming past patterns of trauma
Joanna: 03:23 Absolutely. Yeah. The theory that behind the choice point is a body of science known as functional imagery training. And to boil it down to its essence, it’s basically what we elaborate on will shape our behavior. So if I’m going to elaborate on a negative event that happened to me in the past,
Kimberly: 03:46 Mentally. Mentally elaborate.
Joanna: 03:48 Yeah, mentally elaborate. So in our work, what we do is we teach people that you can’t monitor the thousands of thoughts you have a day, but you can monitor the images that come along with that, the imagery, and you can actually learn to change the channel.
Kimberly: 04:11 So moving away from this, going down this road, so to speak, sometimes it feels like we’re having these conversations in our head. It’s very audio based. So you’re saying we can create a new picture, an image and move somewhere else.
Joanna: 04:30 Exactly. And before I did this work with choice points and with imagery, I was a cognitive behavioral therapist for almost 20 years. So I dealt a lot with, my specialty was anxiety. And what I’ve found with this is, yeah, instead of all the talking images are powerful, they’re emotional and emotions drive our behavior. So it’s a really quick way into the mind.
Kimberly: 05:01 So one of the things you talk about is the mental mutiny versus cognitive control. What’s in alignment with my values and my long-term goals? And so I think about if I had access to your work, Joanna, how I would’ve used it. I healed my own eating disorder years ago when I was in high school, I was bulimic and I just went on. And then I remember one day I said, I just don’t want to do this anymore. And it was really that battle of will and it was hard, but I was able to overcome it. I think what you were mentioning here, this cognitive, the long-term goals, I don’t want to be this self-abusive person, but let’s say in that example, and I know eating disorder, there’s so many complexities. The mental mutiny was this is an easy way to self-soothe. This is my pattern. How might imagery have helped me or in your work with the choice point? I mean it’s like that moment. Am I going to binge and purge or am I not? I mean, this kind of a dark example, but when I was reading your work, I thought it was a pattern I was in for over a year. So I think about all the many patterns that all of us have, whether it’s abusive self-talk or self-doubt or whatever it is going into having unhealthy relationships, so on and so
We go over one of my personal traumas and how I could have used the imagery
Joanna: 06:17 Forth. Well, the first thing, it’s great that having that awareness that you have a choice, you can do this or you can do that, and through your imagination we take you, the first thing we do is we take you to a future where you continue this behavior. And what would it be like
Kimberly: 06:37 Seeing yourself in the future
Joanna: 06:39 And your future self, but not just seeing, but what does it smell? What does it taste like? What sort of things are you telling yourself? What emotions are there? And that’s usually for most people, a pretty heavy experience. So then we contrast that immediately following with, okay, let’s imagine that you did tackle changing this behavior and little by little you got better and better. And we take that future and that future, it feels for most people, a lot less heavy. It feels lighter. They feel a sense of satisfaction or success. So now we’ve created a choice point with imagery. Again, it’s not words because words we can lie to ourselves all day long, right? Yeah. Talk is cheap, but the imagery is very powerful, and that’s really how we shape human behavior. I mean, advertisers know this, but now we’re for improving our own behavior.
Kimberly: 07:50 And it also sounds, you’re saying imagery, Joanna, but it also sounds sensory because it’s not just visual. You’re talking about smells and tastes. So it’s more like a full body.
How sensory comes into play
Joanna: 08:03 Yes. Yeah. Thank you for bringing that up, Kimberly, because it really is, it’s not is it is sensory. In fact, it’s seven senses, so it’s a five. That plus emotion and motion, seeing yourself moving in the future, how will you handle this? How will you handle this? Whether it’s a relationship with food or a person or yourself, it’s really up to you. What I love about this work is it gives someone a sense of agency, so they have control over their life and it takes hold really quickly, which is amazing too. Yeah. It’s not something that, oh, you’re going to have to stick with this therapists for a long time. What we see is in six sessions, it takes hold.
Kimberly: 08:50 Really?
Joanna: 08:52 It’s quick.
Kimberly: 08:56 Another thing my mom used to do when I was starting to read your book, I thought, oh, is this related to back in the day, Oprah used to promote these vision boards. Do you know what I’m talking about? Where you cut out pictures and magazines of the house you’d want or the shape of your body or whatever you want. And then so you’d see these images every day. Is that a kindergarten version of your work in research or complete?
Visualization versus imagery
Joanna: 09:19 Well, it’s interesting. We just had a conversation the other day with Dr. Hacker, who is an Olympic coach, mental skills coach, and she said, if anybody says visualization, someone’s going to get hurt. That’s her visualization. And vision board is different than imagery because imagery, as you said earlier, is multisensory, right? So there’s a difference. And in the research, what’s is if we engage, the more senses we engage, gauge the better the outcome.
Kimberly: 09:56 But then why Joanna is it? It just seems like when you have an image, it’s tangible, but what you’re saying is all the senses in your brain together is more powerful than because sometimes we put so much you’re having a bad day or you want to be reminded. Then you can look at that picture and sort of say, okay, calls me back. What you’re talking about is entirely formless in our minds.
Joanna: 10:21 Yeah, I mean, a picture may be a cue. We use cues too. So that picture may be a cue to put yourself in that image, in that imagery. So I’m there, I’m in that house, or I’m in whatever it is, I’m in that experience. So the picture can queue up the imagery in your head.
Kimberly: 10:42 Wow,
Joanna: 10:43 Itself won’t be as powerful as putting yourself in the experience.
Kimberly: 10:49 And then how long do we stay in that experience to enact real shifting over. I know there’s old chapter here about commitment and yeah,
Joanna: 10:58 The interesting thing is not long, not long is the answer. So 30 seconds.
Real life example of a client using imagery
Kimberly: 11:05 30 seconds. So let’s use a real life example. Will you given us an example with a client who had a goal, she wanted to create something different. I don’t know if it’s sports, maybe that doesn’t relate to as many people in our audience, but something that’s more widespread, I don’t know, a work goal or a family goal, and how you took them through the steps that you mentioned in your book.
Joanna: 11:32 Sure. So this client that comes to mind is a very high performing executive, and she found that she was taking her work home with her.
11:45 So she would walk in the door and she had a stay-at-home husband, and it was like everyone had to fall in line, but she little kids, but she was walking into her home as though she was the boss and it was causing problems in their relationship. And also just in her own, she didn’t feel great about it. She didn’t want to be that kind of mom. So when we work with imagery, we work with cues. Athletes use cues all the time. So her cue was her front door, and when she saw that and when she touched the handle, the doorknob, she just for a split second went into the kind of mom that she wanted to be. And then again, it doesn’t take that long. And then she’d cross that threshold and after taking a deep breath, and then she’d developed rituals like, well, I’m going to hop in the shower first and change my clothes, get on my work clothes, really be present with my kids. But that cue and that imagery was really important to like, okay, how do I want to show up for my family?
Kimberly: 13:01 And it was all the senses. So she would feel it was tactile and smell,
Joanna: 13:07 And there was a certain bush outside of her home that was fragrance. So when she was imagining the front door, she could smell the fragrance, she could feel the temperature. Again, the more senses we involve, the more powerful it is because we’re wired to resist change. No one really wants change. We say we do, but it’s temporary. But if we can actually be in an immersive experience, in our mind’s eye, it’s almost as if we’re tricking the mind and body to believe that change happened.
Kimberly: 13:45 Wow. I research you mentioned about obesity and how this was used with how we can make choices because as you said in the book, we all know we’re supposed to exercise and drink water and eat healthy, but those choices come up. Am I going to eat this? Am I going to eat the box of cookies?
Joanna: 14:03 It’s true. No. We have a member of our team who she just through osmosis, she’s, she doesn’t work in coaching on the team, but she does support work for us. And she shared that for the first time ever, she usually is so tempted by Halloween candy, it’s in her freezer, she’ll open that door. And then she said, now, because she’s been using our method, she said, she opens that freezer and she has no desire. She’s really dumbfounded by it, but she has no desire to eat it because she’s elaborating on what she wants to fit into and how she wants to feel. And so the chocolate, whatever bar, Snickers bar isn’t nearly as enticing.
Kimberly: 14:59 So in your work, Joanna, would you say that elaboration happens as she opens the door and she’s staring at the candy? Or is it happening before she opens the door and exposes herself to that very, you’re on the edge of the decision. Do you know what I mean? Versus a couple seconds before?
Joanna: 15:17 Yeah, both. We’re always elaborating the earlier you can do it. So if she basically has trained herself, she’s rewired her brain in a way to, I’m not going to, because when we hear or smell or taste something, we’re elaborating on it. If someone’s eating a pizza or we see a box pizza, we’ll start to elaborate on, well, how good that would taste or what’s on that pizza. So we’re in that experience, but we can change to anything else that we want. The decision is ours. The choice is ours, but the cue for a lot of people is the refrigerator door handle. That’s when they’ll begin elaborating. But the truth is, we’re elaborating all day long.
How to deal with strong pulls for instant gratification
Kimberly: 16:11 How do you deal with such a strong pull for instant gratification? Let’s say it’s someone’s like, oh, I really need this glass of wine after work, or the cookies or whatever it is, because the imagery, and I know you talk about this and training ourselves, but it’s kind of not tangible or versus this is here right in front of me.
Joanna: 16:36 So I’ll give you another story. When I was the first person trained in this method in the US and I came back and I from, where
Kimberly: 16:47 Were you trained?
Joanna: 16:48 In the United Kingdom? Yeah. So functional imagery training was born in the University of Plymouth in the United Kingdom. And as a therapist and a coach, I read about it and I was like, this is what I’ve been looking for. I want to help people change. And so often as coaches and therapists, people get only so far, and the research here is they continue to get better. They continue to achieve. There’s incredible resiliency. So I came back from my training and I asked for some volunteers that I wouldn’t charge for my services and they’d know that I’m learning this. So one of them was a neighbor of mine who wanted to quit smoking. No, I had never helped anyone quit smoking before. It wasn’t my jam. So I was like, okay, I’m going to use this method and see how it goes. And I can tell you it’s been almost five years and he’s still not smoking. And what it came down to is a sensory experience of eating a strawberry. And that’s going to sound so weird.
Kimberly: 17:57 I mean, when the choice came up,
Joanna: 18:00 And this is his own imagination, we never know where someone’s imagination is in a go. As coaches who work in this realm, it’s not like you have a script because people go to different places, and in his imagination, he went to a strawberry and the taste of a strawberry after a cigarette was really ashy and kind of like, it just was a terrible texture, and he couldn’t smell the strawberry and without a cigarette, the strawberry was, it brought up a childhood memory and he could really enjoy the taste. So that’s as simple as it was for him.
Kimberly: 18:41 And she used that over and over again. It strengthened with the one image becomes even more
Joanna: 18:48 Powerful, and he forced it with other things. He started to watch other videos about quitting smoking, but over and over again, he’d come back to the strawberry, and I was his neighbor. So when I dropped strawberries off at his front door with a little note, so he was constantly using his imagery around this and being reminded. So that blew my mind. I was like, wow, how simple was that? I didn’t have to say, if you don’t stop smoking, do you know what your chances are for lung cancer? Do you know what your chances are? I didn’t have to give him any data. None of that simply gave him a sensory experience his own that was very compelling to him.
Kimberly: 19:36 Wow, that is amazing. So Joanna, what if someone has, and I know you talked, this is not visualization, but let’s say someone has their limiting beliefs, whatever they’re projecting out in the world, they want a relationship, for instance, right? Let’s say someone has been single and they’re struggling to meet somebody. Can they use this work to visualize themselves in a relationship and the kind of person they would be, and they could call that in? Or is your work more based on the decisions that are here and now, which of course would help you feel empowered in any case, I think, to be the kind of person you want to be, which would help with that. But do you know what I’m saying? Visualize that?
We discuss if you can create a different future-based reality of what you would want
Joanna: 20:18 Yeah. So I think maybe in part what you’re asking, will it help you manifest that relationship? Or is
Kimberly: 20:25 This Yes, yes, exactly. Can you create a different future-based reality of what you would want, whether that’s work or in relationships or whatever.
Joanna: 20:32 Now, here’s where we get to my co-author who’s a scientist would be like, you can’t measure that. So no. Yeah, and that’s why we’re a good team because he brings the science and I bring more of the human, complicated human, and dare I say, spiritual, you don’t know. You don’t know where this journey will take someone. So we do start small. I wouldn’t necessarily start with a relationship. I’d start with something. What I’ve found is that when people realize that it works, then you get their buy-in, and now it’s like, wow, what else can I apply this to? And we see that time and time again, there’s a great couple that a husband and wife team that trained with us and their imagery was to go on sabbatical and travel around the world. They didn’t start there, but that’s where it ended up. And they are traveling around the world now.
Kimberly: 21:29 Wow. Well, that makes total sense to me because you’re almost, as you say, it becomes a reality and you shape your world, your actions. You have to take inspired action, but then you work towards that.
Joanna: 21:44 Yeah, yeah. But it’s amazing how simple it is. We all have this ability, but no one ever taught us to tap into it. We’ve worked with a number of athletes and high performing people, but it works for everybody. You don’t have to be a champion in a sport. The interesting thing is a lot of these champions don’t use it in their life. They’ll use it to prepare for a game or a match. Then I’ll say, have you ever used it for your relationship with your partner? No,
Kimberly: 22:21 But this is where I think we’ve always heard of imagery with athletes saying, imagine you getting the shot or getting the goal, and that feels natural. You know what I mean? Okay. We want it to perform the best. But your work is more this holistic imagery about more sensory. So it’s making it much more powerful for the athletes, if I’m understanding it correctly.
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