Sometimes it feels like everyoneâs coupled up, whether theyâre in a budding new romance or theyâve been together what seems like forever. Itâs easy to feel left out, but there are so many reasons why you donât need a boyfriend. Sure, the companionship and romance are nice, but being in a relationship isnât necessary for you to love your life right now.
Itâs nice to find someone to spend time with, who shares similar interests and makes you laugh, but donât fall victim to the myth that you need someone to âcompleteâ you. Youâre already whole. You donât have a missing half or a âbetterâ half out there waiting for you.
When you find someone who complements the whole you, you may be able to build the relationship of your dreams with that person. Then you can enrich each otherâs lives with new perspectives, new knowledge, and exposure to things you might not have found on your own.
You should want to be with someone because you truly love and support them and they truly love and support you, not cling to them simply out of fear that youâll be incomplete without them.
Have you ever really wanted to buy something special, thinking youâd be so happy once you finally saved up enough money to have it, only to find that a few days after acquiring whatever it was, you felt just the same as you did before your big purchase? Have you ever felt a little down, taken a few minutes to practice gratitude for what you have and what you appreciate about yourself, and felt better almost immediately?
Happiness comes from the inside, not a new pair of designer shoes or a boyfriend.
Iâm not saying that youâll be sick of any boyfriend within a week and on the prowl for a new one, but you donât need one to make you happy. Your happiness should never lie in someone elseâs hands. It should never be someone elseâs responsibility. Everything you need to be happy in life is already inside of you. Itâs all in how you look at things, what you appreciate, and how you take time to realize yourself before you worry about being in a serious relationship with anyone else.
As a bonus, once you get into alignment with who you are and embrace your ability to make yourself happy, youâre more likely to be in a position to attract that boyfriend who will complementânot completeâyou.
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What if you were in a serious relationship with a guy who, for whatever reason, could not pick up and move to another state or country, and you got the chance of a lifetime that would help you reach your goals, live your dreams, and really feel like you were fulfilling your destiny? As amazing as that opportunity sounds, you might still feel guilty for not taking it to stay with your boyfriend (and what if you broke up soon after the opportunity had passed?), or for taking it and leaving your boyfriend behind.
Donât avoid having a loving, supportive relationship with someone if it truly feels right and youâre comfortable with who you are simply because some great opportunity might come along, but if youâre single, relish that feeling of having no strings, no stress, no guilt about exploring who you are and who you can become. One day you will have a boyfriend, and these opportunities to find out more about yourself will help you know which boyfriend is right for you. Youâll be more self-confident and youâll have a ton of amazing stories to share with him.
It isnât impossible to start a healthier lifestyle when youâre in a relationship, but it can definitely be harder if heâs not ready to commit to making better choices right along with you. If you and a boyfriend typically go out for a laidback evening of wings and beer at a local restaurant, itâll feel a lot weirder to say, âLetâs stay in and have soup and salad and drink some tea later,â or, âLetâs try that new vegan restaurantâ to him than it would to just tell yourself thatâs what youâre going to do.
Just as some people say itâs easier to stick to a workout routine if you have a buddy waiting to work out with you, itâs also easier to stick to bad habits when theyâre built into a relationship unless both people want to change.
When youâre living with a boyfriend and theyâre bringing in cookies or chips to snack on (or maybe theyâre even offering to make you pancakes and coffee for breakfast), that also makes it more challenging to stick to your goals. Again, it can be done, but if you already have your habits and lifestyle in place before you start dating, youâre probably not going to start a tradition that doesnât serve you (or him), like wings and beer.
Take your time to become who you want to be, develop healthy habits and a lifestyle youâre proud of, and youâre less likely to be influenced by a boyfriend who doesnât eat the same way you do when you do start dating someone. In fact, you may even influence him.
Relationships of all types are important, and itâs easy to skip hanging out with your girlfriends or doing a little much-needed soul-searching when youâre distracted by a new boyfriend. This is especially important during times of transition, like after high school or college when you and your friends are all going your separate waysâgoing to new schools or taking new jobs in other cities or states.
When everything is settled, you may find yourself looking for a new set of girlfriends where you live, and feeling obligated to spend all or the majority of your free time with a guy wonât allow you the time to build loving, trusting relationships with girlfriends. A boyfriend may feel like all you need at the time, but if you break up, whoâs going to come over and cheer you up?
Maybe youâve been avoiding really digging in to figure out what you want out of life and how to get there, going from one distraction to the next because itâs easier than being honest with yourself and diving into what might be a lot of really hard work and a true exercise in focus. A boyfriend will be an easy distraction, whether heâs the right one for you or not. And you wonât truly know if heâs right if you donât sit still and just be with yourself to design your path in life, figure out whatâs important to you, and get comfortable in your own skin.
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There are definite reasons why you donât need a boyfriend in your life. Having one wonât complete you, make you happy, give your life purpose, or turn you into who youâre supposed to be. All of that is up to you. Donât focus on feeling like you âneedâ someone else to fill in the gaps in your life; a relationship built out of fear and a feeling that youâre lacking something probably wonât be the healthiest one. Focus on yourself first. When the one who will support and love you through a portion or even the rest of your personal journey shows up, youâll be able to recognize him.
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