How to Believe in Your Self Worth with Jamie Kern Lima [Episode 907]
This week’s topic: How to Believe in Your Self Worth with Jamie Kern Lima
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so thrilled for my guest today. Her name is Jamie Kern Lima. She is the New York Times bestselling author of this wonderful book called Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. I will say that I get sent a lot of books on all different types of topics. It is very rare for me to read a book cover to cover and I read every single sentence of this book. I absolutely loved it. I’m very excited to talk to Jamie today. Jamie is an amazing woman. She just launched her new podcast The Jamie Kern Lima Show with her first guests being Oprah Winfrey and Robin Roberts.
Jamie is also an incredibly successful business women having sold her self made company, It Cosmetics, which so many of us have used for so many years, to L ‘Oreal in a billion dollar deal. Since then she’s an active philanthropist has led leadership training in more than a hundred prisons and women’s shelters across the United States. And what I can say after interviewing her is that she’s a very kind, compassionate, heart centered, authentic woman, which is maybe her biggest achievement in the world today. So thank you so much, Jamie, for being here on the podcast with me.
About Jamie Kern Lima
Jamie Kern Lima is the author of the New York Times bestseller “Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable,” and recently released a new book, and instant New York Times bestseller, “Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life.”
She is also the host of the podcast The Jamie Kern Lima Show , which just debuted with and interview with Oprah Winfrey, and upcoming guests including Robin Roberts, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Chrissy Metz, Hoda Kotb, and more sharing never-before-told stories and insights. The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast features life-changing conversations that aim to ignite the light inside of listeners and viewers, build their self-worth, and leave them feeling seen, understood, less alone, more enough, newly inspired, and with tools to fully live their best life.
Lima is an entrepreneur who founded IT Cosmetics in her living room and would become the biggest QVC beauty Brand and sold it to L’Oréal for $1.2 billion. She is on the Forbes list of Richest Self-Made Women. An active philanthropist who has funded leadership training in more than 100 prisons and shelters across the United States and has donated over $40 million in products and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. She is donating 100% of her author proceeds from her books “Believe IT” and “Worthy.”
Guest Resources
Episode Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background of Jamie Curren Lima
02:12 Believing in Our Worthiness and Melding with Spirit
05:00 The Journey of Unlearning Lies and Embracing Worthiness
07:23 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Trusting in Our Creator
10:58 The Temptation of Showing Up as Our Representative
13:17 The Impact of Perspective Shifts and Divine Order
15:00 The Perfection in Our Imperfections and Divine Plan
17:11 The Illusion of External Validation and Self-Worth
19:55 The Importance of Building Self-Worth and Embracing Authenticity
21:45 Embracing Worthiness: Recognizing Our Inherent Value
25:31 Overcoming Rejection: Trusting Our Intuition
28:15 Redefining Failure: Changing the Narrative
30:41 The Power of Vulnerability: Deepening Connections
36:13 Living in Alignment: Embracing Our Worthiness
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Transcript:
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly Snyder (00:00.686)
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so thrilled for my guest today. Her name is Jamie Curren Lima. She is the New York Times bestselling author of this wonderful book called Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. I will say that I get sent a lot of books on all different types of topics. It is very rare for me to read a book cover to cover and I read every
single sentence of this book. I absolutely loved it. I’m very excited to talk to Jamie today. Jamie is an amazing woman. She also sold her company, It Cosmetics, which so many of us have used for so many years, to L ‘Oreal in a billion dollar deal. She’s an active philanthropist, philanthropist, big word. She has led leadership training in more than a hundred prisons and women’s shelters across the United States.
And what I can say from her book is that she’s also a very heart centered, authentic woman, which is maybe her biggest achievement in the world today. So thank you so much, Jamie, for being here with me. I’m so excited to chat with you.
Jamie Kern Lima (01:15.355)
Thank you so much for having me. I am.
I’m excited and I just have to say I get to meet a lot of people behind the scenes and sometimes they’re not the same behind as they are in front and it was such a beautiful experience to come on to this conversation with you and the first thing I see is you’re meditating and you’re so congruent and it’s just so beautiful and so true and I just want to honor that off the top and also just say thank you so much for having me.
Kimberly Snyder (01:45.198)
Well, thank you so much, Jamie. I mean, I’m getting goosebumps because like I said, your book came in and there was this space for me to actually read it and I started going through it and there was just so much I deeply connected to. So I want to honor that this isn’t a book that’s written in a place of preaching or disconnection. It’s really coming through your heart and we can really feel it. And it’s full of practical advice and it’s full of many stories.
So one of the things I wanna say right off the bat is obviously the title of the book is Worthy and it’s about really believing you’re enough. And I really love how in the book you share, because we’ve heard this before, like, you know, believe in yourself, love yourself. And I feel like it’s, I could say from personal experience, really challenging to do from the human part of us, right? Because the linear mind likes to compare and say, well,
maybe I don’t have the degrees or the skills or that person’s pretty or more context or more money or whatever it is. But you really bring in, and it’s a little bit towards the end of the book, but woven throughout this idea of melding more with spirit, higher power, God, universe, however we want to connect to that. Because when we have that energy and that force moving behind us, we realize,
Well, I am enough because I’m unique and I’m this unique creation from spirit. And so it’s a very different perspective from trying to find worthiness from this, you know, from the broken or the wounded part of us.
Jamie Kern Lima (03:16.155)
Yes, that’s so good. I believe the lie most of my entire life. I just needed to achieve more or make more people happy or accomplish enough and then I’d finally feel enough. I’d finally be worthy and I lost decades of my life to that. And this book and this journey, I don’t know if you’ve had this experience Kimberly, I felt like this book was a divine download. Like I, when Worthy came through me, I…
Kimberly Snyder (03:41.902)
yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (03:45.787)
just felt like
It was at a point in my life where I was really called to be obsessed with and immersed in, and also in service of helping as many people as possible learn that they’re fully worthy exactly as they are, exactly as their creator made them. And I think that the world sort of has us believe if we please enough people and if we do all the things that build self -confidence, we’ll finally feel enough, but none of them build self -worth, which is different. And I love,
be the first person that’s ever actually asked that question and said it in these words. And that’s how I know you went deep in the book, which I love that. Yeah, I mean, this was a big epiphany in my life. And for anyone listening to us, whether, you know, they have faith or no faith or believe in the universe or whatever, whoever your source, your divine source or creator is, is for you, the biggest
One of the biggest tools now I use almost every single day whenever I start to feel unworthy or to listen to my own self doubt is I realize like, wait a minute. In my life, I believe that.
God exists. I believe our lives are divinely orchestrated. I believe that we all have an anointing and that, you know, we’re called and all the different things. And how can I believe I’m, you know, create divinely created in God’s image, but then doubt that I’m enough? It’s like the two can’t exist. And at the same time,
Kimberly Snyder (05:09.134)
Mm.
Kimberly Snyder (05:21.294)
Right.
Jamie Kern Lima (05:26.683)
It’s either one or the other. And what I quickly realized is, my gosh, and maybe we’re going too deep, too fast, but okay. It was a massive tool now in my toolbox. I have to use every day, by the way, because I believe for most of us,
Kimberly Snyder (05:33.934)
no, I love this. We love this in the community.
Jamie Kern Lima (05:47.227)
The journey of believing we’re enough is like a lifelong journey of not like learning all this stuff, but unlearning all the lies that lead to self doubt that tell us who we are is not enough and like igniting the truths that sort of like wake up the worthiness in us. And, and this is actually one of my favorite tools. And I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me this. This is one of my favorite tools is that I
Kimberly Snyder (05:57.326)
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (06:08.635)
The second I start having self doubt, what I actually realize is if I believe what I say I believe, if I believe that
My creator made me and I am divinely made and I believe in God. If I truly believe that then me doubting I’m enough and me doubting I have what it takes and doubting how I was. I’m actually that’s actually not self doubt. That’s actually me trusting my own thoughts and doubting God’s word. It’s actually like God doubt is what it is. So right. So every time I have self doubt or I think I’m not enough. I don’t I’m not worthy of walking in the room or asking the
Kimberly Snyder (06:37.166)
yes that’s i love that
Jamie Kern Lima (06:47.869)
person if they want to be friends or raising my hand and saying pick me or submitting my book proposal, whatever it is, whatever it might be. I do believe in my core and my soul. Like I believe.
made in my creator’s image. So am I gonna believe that or am I gonna believe my own self doubt? And so I quickly just sort of like hack through the situation and silence my own self doubt that way when I make the decision to trust in who I believe my creator is over my own thoughts and my own self doubt. And yeah, that’s one of the many tools in Worthy on how to build self worth. And I tell you, it has been a lifelong
Kimberly Snyder (07:23.406)
Mmm.
Jamie Kern Lima (07:32.539)
journey for me. There have been many, many things in my life where I let my self -doubt get so loud and doubted myself right out of my own destiny. And I’m just sort of…
so passionate about not doing that anymore and about joining with each and every person on their own journey, you know, of how to unlearn those lies and just really embrace your own worth. And it’s just an honor, by the way, to be here on the show. Thank you. I just, after 40 years, I just launched my own show for the first time ever, the Jamie Curren Lima Show. Thank you.
Kimberly Snyder (08:01.438)
What do you got?
Kimberly Snyder (08:06.382)
I saw that, congratulations. I feel like you were born to have that show and to share with other people their stories. I saw a clip of your interview with Robin Roberts where she was sharing about being a Christian and being gay at the same time and reconciling all these parts, right? Because like you were saying, if we doubt God, we’re in our head. We’re in this limited, egoic,
comparative, competitive, better than, less than, right, wrong versus this, you know what I call the hard energy or the true self, this term you also use in the book, this expansive part of us which can’t be labeled, like to put ourselves in boxes and other people in boxes and that really limits our energy. Takes a lot of energy, doesn’t it?
Jamie Kern Lima (08:52.379)
Yeah, it takes so much. And I find like so many people, it’s wild. You look at like all the data and it’s like.
Right now, 91 % of girls and women opt out of meaningful activities in their life when they don’t like how they look or they don’t feel enough. And it’s like, when we start to think about, and this is a big aha for me in my life, right? It’s 80 % of women don’t believe they’re enough. 73 % of men feel inadequate. And it’s like we spend so much time and lose so much time and energy.
Kimberly Snyder (09:20.334)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (09:26.715)
and missed opportunities and I think missed callings and when we sort of believe those lies and I think they result in so many people tempted. I mean, I’ve done this so much in my life just trying to be a people pleaser or show up as my representative as the person I think I need to be to make that person happier or to get the job or whatever it is. And it’s like you look at our world now
Kimberly Snyder (09:42.094)
Yes.
Mask.
Jamie Kern Lima (09:56.669)
2024 and and thank you for the beautiful work that you do and and that you put out into this world because most people I mean just by the numbers alone most people are lonelier than ever and and feeling more disconnected than ever and I think the temptation to show up as our representative is a temptation to make other people happy it’s like anytime we do that we think we’re creating connection but we’re just creating disconnection we’re like putting that wall that
Kimberly Snyder (10:14.51)
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (10:25.371)
barrier between us and someone else when you’re not.
when you’re not, you know, when you’re not who you truly are, you know, number one, it’s like we chip away at our own self worth one representative moment at a time, because we’re telling ourselves we’re not worthy of being who we truly are every time we try to show up to as someone we’re not to make someone else happy. And also we just feel lonelier than ever. So I think that, you know, in a world where and it’s so funny to Kimberly, I feel like it was like five minutes ago
when people were worried about is that a filter or not. Now people are worried about is that an AI video of the actual real person because you literally cannot tell the difference.
Kimberly Snyder (11:08.398)
my gosh.
Jamie Kern Lima (11:09.243)
And it’s just like there’s there’s just so much disconnection everywhere. And I think there couldn’t be a better time for them, you know, to really dive into self -worth, which is why I wrote Worthy and also for the work that you’re putting out there in the world and your book coming out in September and everything else. Like we need this more than ever. We need connection and to feel our heart and to feel our truth and to feel our worth. Like more than ever.
Kimberly Snyder (11:31.374)
goosebumps all over. Jamie, I mean, this is, it’s so powerful what you speak of. There’s so many moments in the book. I love how you share stories to illustrate what you’re talking about. It’s not so, it’s not cold or just, you know, businessy, but you’re really teaching from this embodied place. And I was sitting there crying and my husband was like, why are you crying? And there was this part in the book.
that really touched me where you were talking about your mother passing away and how she said to you, you don’t change. And it was this epiphany moment where you realized like you were saying, instead of trying to water myself down or people please or be what I think people are gonna like, I’m gonna be Jamie. And so this touched me so much Jamie, because a couple of years ago, my mom also passed away and my older son wasn’t yet a year old. And what she said to me,
before she couldn’t speak anymore because the cancer became so much and so painful. It all happened in six weeks too, by the way. She said to me, you picked me, remember? And it was almost like this moment of, you know, we had a complicated, so much love, but complications, sort of, I felt not seen. I was imperfectionist, trying to feel love on the outside, having the perfect grades, felt neglected. There was a lot of things. But in that moment, Jamie, when she said to me, you picked me.
It was that perspective change that you talk about in the book where things are happening for us, not to us. It was like, whoa, like all this stuff is for my growth. You know, God’s spirit doesn’t give us things to push us down, but to allow us to blossom more into ourselves. So that was such a beautiful, woof, woof. my gosh, Jamie, it was, it was a bomb.
Jamie Kern Lima (13:17.307)
How did that impact you when she said you picked me?
Kimberly Snyder (13:25.23)
And I’ll tell you what happened. I just erupted inside. It changed my whole perspective of life. She passed about three days later in my arms. A few, and then it changed my whole life. I looked at everything, Jamie, and I said, this is not it. Meaning my relationship, we weren’t moving forward. I was in this cushy situation. We had a child together. We were engaged, but not married. So boom, I laughed.
I moved out, you know, in the Philippines where my family’s from, there’s no such thing as divorce. It’s illegal. So I left Jamie and I became a single mom. I lost my mom. I was a new mom. And it was like, boom. And that’s when my life started to really open up and I started to write these Hay House books and I started my business, Saluna, and which is about wholeness, the sun and the moon and everything and showing all these parts of ourselves.
but it came from that, oof, that rock bottom place. So when you talk about your rock bottom places and the buck, oof, does that really open up energy in a way? I can just feel it running through so many people and so many women that are reading your book, Jamie. I know it ran through me deeply.
Jamie Kern Lima (14:39.835)
When you, I’m like getting emotional listening to you. When you, when she said you picked me and then everything, and then like everything blew up in your life and you made all those changes. Like, was it almost like you picked, like she’s like, you picked me and then the healing of that, that shift in perspective over everything, like, she may have like, you may have felt unseen, like all the different things. And then.
Kimberly Snyder (15:00.654)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (15:06.491)
and then having that like divine faith and like, I picked her what you just mentioned for your own spiritual growth and all that. And then it feels like then you then all of a sudden after that picked you.
Kimberly Snyder (15:17.486)
Yeah, it feels like, you know what it feels like? There’s a level beyond forgiveness, right? Because first I was like, I’m going to forgive that, you know, she, she went back to work when I was two weeks old. And so I had a lot of abandonment issues that I know you talked about in your book being adopted and the beautiful things you shared. so I was working with a lot of like, I have to forgive. And I want to like, you know, this anger and resentment, but when it was like, no, you picked me, there’s this level of perfection.
that we can step into in the way in which we see God’s plan. Like this is for me. I wouldn’t be this strong. I wouldn’t be able to connect and keep striving and love other women and do all these things if I hadn’t suffered so much as a child perhaps, right? And felt so alone or, you know, had these horrible eating disorders and locked myself up and had bulimia for years because I couldn’t digest life. I don’t know if I could help.
Women work with their wellness and their energy and do all these things, right? So this perfection came through Jamie of I’m worthy. And it wasn’t that I, you know, God forgot about me or this sucks and everybody else has these perfect family lives. It was more like, this, there’s this divine order and I’m going to play my part, I’m going to live in my heart and be as full of life as I can be because that’s why I think we’re here.
Jamie Kern Lima (16:38.491)
and it’s like you wouldn’t know what it’s like to.
Now see everyone if you never felt unseen right all of it. Yeah, you know, there that is so beautiful there’s a Friend of my name Roy Vaden who says that he has this quote I just think is so beautiful and profound where he says because a lot of people are searching for their purpose and they’re like do I have a purpose and they’re trying to find it maybe in a job or in a person or whatever and he says, you know one of the greatest ways to find it he says that in life or
Kimberly Snyder (16:45.71)
That’s it!
Kimberly Snyder (17:05.678)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (17:11.981)
were best positioned to serve the person we once were. And when he says that, I’m like, it hit home for me because most of my life, I didn’t think I was enough. And I struggled with self -worth issues. And I thought I could achieve enough to finally feel enough. So I have a message to look for.
Kimberly Snyder (17:15.95)
Mmm.
Kimberly Snyder (17:33.326)
yeah, I know that feeling.
Jamie Kern Lima (17:35.547)
We have that common. Yeah. And I thought like, if I finally get this and you know, for anyone listening, I think so many of us go through this like, if I we believe this live, I finally achieved that thing, then I’m going to feel enough. You know, if I finally get the six pack abs or I finally get that job title or I finally win that thing or get that number in the bank account or or find a relationship or have kids or whatever it might be. But but
Kimberly Snyder (17:49.422)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (18:03.803)
All those things are amazing and can be amazing and they fuel your growth and they build your self confidence but none of them build self worth which is different and I think
It’s why we’ve a lot of us have arrived at those like external goals and they’re fun, great, but we still within five minutes feel like, why is still missing? Yeah. And it’s like, we all know the, you know, so many people see the celebrity like their life they’ve they’re so famous. Why are they destroying their life or like the astronaut who lands on the moon and then comes back and or the Olympic gold medalists and then destroy their lives. And it’s like, you can accomplish all these goals and that’s beautiful for a
Kimberly Snyder (18:19.886)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (18:23.534)
It’s in here. Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (18:44.781)
growth and for confidence, but wherever you go, you still take you with you. Like the you that’s innate, that is your level of self -worth and your belief about your unworthiness, you still take that.
person to whatever goal you accomplish doesn’t change your worth. And so I think like, I think, you know, moments in our lives, maybe the one with your mom, definitely with me, you know, I always thought if I just achieve enough, you know, then my parents will be proud or then I’ll, you know, be whatever. And it just the more I’ve just achieved, achieved, achieved it. Like I remember, you know, when I was a Denny’s waitress having these big dreams.
Kimberly Snyder (18:59.63)
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (19:25.485)
but not thinking I was worthy of them. And I remember building enough confidence to launch a business and all the things. But I can still remember having sold a business for over a billion dollars cash. All the things in my life, like seeming like a fairy tale, the Forbes list and this and that. An
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