Awakening the Heart: The Ultimate Way to Total Holistic Health with Kimberly Snyder & John Pisani

This week’s topic: The Science Of Upgrading Your Health and Relationships From The Power of Your Heart.

Hi everyone and welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so excited that this is launch week for The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts, my new book on awakening the heart through five stages. I cannot wait to get this book in your hands. Of all the books I’ve written, this one has changed me. It has awakened my heart and as we’ll get into heart coherence today, which you probably have heard me talk about over the last few months and years. It ties together gut health, energy, our emotional wellbeing, our mental clarity, our relationships. It’s so impactful. And so in celebration of this very special week, I have with me John Pisani, who’s been my long-term business partner and has been with me since the first book. And we have done all these books together going back to the Beauty Detox Solution, which was published in 2011.

Episode Summary

In this conversation, Kimberly Snyder discusses her new book, ‘The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts with longtime business partner and Solluna co-founder John Pisani. The conversation focuses on the concept of heart coherence and its significance in wellness. Kimberly shares her journey of writing the book, the inspiration behind it, and the importance of understanding the stages of the heart. The discussion delves into emotional awareness, the impact of heart coherence on relationships, and the collective power of individuals in creating a heart-centered society.

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Episode Chapters

00:00 The Launch of a New Journey
02:50 Heart Coherence: The Core of Wellness
06:12 The Inspiration Behind the Book
09:07 Understanding Heart Coherence
11:53 The Stages of the Heart
15:08 The Power of Emotional Awareness
17:59 Fear and Forgiveness in Heart Work
20:51 The Impact of Heart Coherence on Relationships
24:11 Creating a Heart-Centered Society

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KIMBERLY’S BOOKS

The Hidden Power of the Five Heats
Chilla Gorilla & Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart
The Beauty Detox Solution
Beauty Detox Foods
Beauty Detox Power
Radical Beauty
Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life
You Are More Than You Think You Are

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Transcript:

Kimberly Snyder (00:01.144)
Hi everyone and welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so excited that this is launch week for The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts, my new book on awakening the heart through five stages. I cannot wait to get this book in your hands. It’s going to be shipping even today possibly or definitely tomorrow, 917, which is the official pub date. Of all the books I’ve written, this one has changed me. It has awakened my heart.

And as we’ll get into today, this heart coherence, which you probably have heard me talk about over the last few months and years, is some aspect of our lifestyle and wellness, which ties everything together. It ties together gut health, energy, our emotional wellbeing, our mental clarity, our relationships. It’s so impactful. And so in celebration of this very special week, I have with me John Pisani, who’s been my long term business partner and has been with me since the first book. And we have done all these books together going back to the Beauty Detox Solution, which was published in 2011. So it’s been quite a journey, Welcome to the show. It’s so great to be in the studio, live in person, not on Zoom. we had a book launch event the other day in Venice and I was saying to everyone,

Wow, I think back to our first book launch party, which was a very different type of book launch party. was, you know, lots of press. It was at the London and West Hollywood. Channing Tatum was the host. And there’s been all these different parts of the journey, but you know, you’ve been with me on this incredible journey. You and I have been on our own individual journey. We’ve been on this journey to share more and more. And here we are today talking about the heart.

So, you know, I have my glowing green smoothie right there on the table. And all these aspects of wellness are important, how we eat and how we live. But here, you know, the hard work, as I mentioned earlier, this coherence, the syncing up of your heart, brain, your nervous system, and spiritually into the deepest part of who we are, awakens everything. And what’s amazing as we reflect back is that the mission is the same, but it’s the, you know,

Kimberly Snyder (02:22.154)
the peeling the layers of the onion were just getting deeper and deeper. And here I feel like we’re really in the core now. Yeah, you know, what’s interesting, I felt at that party was it was very reminiscent of the first book launch and the fact that it felt so fresh and new. It was kind of like when you’re ahead of a little bit ahead of the curve of the information. And this is something that is, it’s breaking a little bit.

It’s been out there, but it isn’t well known. Yes. Just when we did the first thing. You could feel the energy in the room of people discovering and feeling it for the first time. It has that kind of pixie dust of this really powerful energy of bringing something new and fresh and powerful. needed. And needed. In this day and age, this by far is really, really needed in the world we live in today. I thought it was interesting.

I’d love to know from you, because it’s always interesting when you write your books, because you don’t try to force it. You let it come to you organically what your subject’s going to be and what inspires you. How did this come to you and how did you first become inspired to go into this field? I’ve been talking about this a little bit on other shows, but I’ll go into more detail here on our show since we’re having this.

conversation with our inner feel good podcast community here, our Saluna community. So I think one of the attributes of wellness and as we unfold is receptivity, right? And I think that’s one thing that’s been my through line since the first book is I’ve always been curious. I’ve always said, you know, what else is there to learn? How could I feel better? And that’s been my through line since

started backpacking around the world. I started learning about how to make blended foods and green smoothies. I’ve just been receptive to what is coming through. And then once I come across something that feels really potent, and in this case, it was a piece of research around the heart brain, I pay attention. It’s like breadcrumbs, right? And I think that’s partly because this awareness comes because of

Kimberly Snyder (04:45.12)
I’ve been a meditator, so I’m more attuned to awareness of like, whoa, this actually did make me feel something. So there’s that aspect of it. When I was writing, Are More Than You Think You Are, and researching some of the, there’s a chapter in You Are More Than You Think You Are called You Are Magnetic, those of you that have that book. And there’s some scientific reference in that book, although nothing like this book. And I came across a piece of research from HeartMath.

And it was how they had been measuring the magnetic field of the heart by sensitive equipment known as magnetometers. It was also about how the heart has 40 ,000 neurons and is a brain and does send more messages to the brain up here. So it started a spark of how come I don’t really know about this? First of all, was like, is this true? And then I dug deeper and saw there was over 500 published research papers and really respected journals like the American Journal of Cardiology.

And the number two, I thought, how come I don’t know about this? And I’ve been really diving pretty deep. And the number three, I said, well, everybody needs to know about this. So that was happening. And at the same time, I started to feel that I was, and I’ll say this, how do I say this? Well, I also feel that when we open ourselves up, spirit uses us as a channel in different ways.

And Yogananda, who many of you know who brought yoga to the West has always been such an important being, more than a teacher, guru, however you want to say it, his teachings have helped me so much. And then I started feeling tuned into Swami Sri Yukteswar, who is Yogananda’s guru. And he ran an ashram in India and was said to be very stern, but had the love of a thousand mothers. And he

was a Vedic scholar. I was anyways, I was going into the hard math research. And then I just felt called to go down this rabbit hole with his book. And he only wrote one book was called the Holy Science. And I remember being in Hawaii. And I think I told you this and I certainly told John, my husband, I was reading this book over and over again. Did I tell you this? I think you told me this. Well, tell me again, because I’m trying to remember. I remember it’s a fairly succinct book. And it’s basically written in sutra style, sort of like

Kimberly Snyder (07:11.308)
you know, the Bhagavad Gita or ancient texts. there’s, you know, Sanskrit, there’s the writing in Sanskrit, there’s a translation in English, and then there’s a little bit of explanation. So I was, I just felt called in and you know, it’s hard to put these things in words, but I feel like I was just being drawn into the heart in so many ways. And in this book, he talks about the five stages of the human heart. And this really spoke to me because I had never heard and I’d read, you know,

some of the other translations of other texts, but this was so clearly saying dark, propelled, steady, devoted, and he says clean heart. He also talks about the clear heart in that book. So I went with clear heart in my modern interpretation, these five states, and it was all lining up. The science was really lining up with these heart stages that he was laying out. So it was my favorite place to hang out, which is the intersection of spirituality and science.

where I think it’s really important to bring forward truths that are shown for the discerning mind in science. But these spiritual teachings that I feel like are so necessary in today’s world for health, for coming together in more unity as a community and the larger community of the world, for our own peace and fulfillment. And so it all came together very organically. I never said…

to myself. I did get an email from Hay House, my publisher, some months earlier. They were like, hey, what’s your next book going to be about? And to be honest, I just said to them, and I always say this, you know, I’ll let you know when I’m ready. It’s not me. It’s just like something coming through me. And so I just stayed open and I was receptive to messages I was getting and the heart is what came through. Yeah. But I remember how quick it like you, when you get that inspiration, it seemed like this one, really, you were in it and it just kind of

So one of the things that heart coherence shows is clarity comes. Heart coherence is this syncing up basically the heart, brain, the nervous system. And what it means is clarity. that’s one of the biggest, most incredible things that I’ve experienced through increasing my own heart coherence and this work. It’s sort of like looking, I described this in the book, looking through to the bottom of a clear lake. So once I got

Kimberly Snyder (09:35.66)
this inspiration, know, Sanskrit would say sponda to, okay, you’re going to be writing about the heart. It was, all right, here we go. I had, you know, a very clear vision. I wanted it to be the heart stages. I wanted the science to be woven in with the teachings. I presented it to Hay House. I just wrote a little thing about the book and they approved it. know.

proven author, this is my eighth book, I’d already done a book with them. So they didn’t really give me any restrictions. And so I was off to the races. I also had it in my mind that I wanted it to be a succinct book to, first of all, pay homage to Swami Shri Yukteswar’s book, which was very succinct. I wanted people to get through the book. So I wrote the book and then I ended up cutting out 20 ,000 words, mostly science.

because I said to myself, okay, I think I’m going a little bit too deep down the rabbit hole. And you know, you’ve read the book, John, there is a lot of science in it, but as a, you know, as a Well, you love your science too. But I’m saying you could get through the science that’s left in the book. Absolutely. And I think that’s always been one of your strengths as a writer is taking these sometimes more complex science and stuff and presenting them in a way that is so relatable and understandable for the average person.

And I was going to say, one of the strengths of this book is there is all the science backing this, but you present it in a way that connects to everyday life. And in all the stages, there’s, when I was reading, was like, wow, there I see me. I see me in this one. You know, you so, I think that’s one of the powerful things, the book that you do is you present it in a way where if the reader can really take away so much from, because it really is written in a way that is easily understandable and relatable.

You know, it’s interesting this morning, I did a growth day Zoom with Brendan Bouchard. So if you know who he is, is a, don’t know how to classify him. He’s a motivational speaker. He’s a entrepreneur coach. He does stuff with Oprah. He does a lot of mindset coaching, I think. So he loved the book. We talked about the book. And one thing he said to me is, did you plan?

Kimberly Snyder (11:53.698)
for the way you wrote the heart stages, towards the end, it gets like really elevated. So if you remember, you flow through from the dark heart to the propelled, and then it gets to the light of the clear heart. And there is a lot of light in it. And I said, well, you know, the opposite of light or clear or transparent is dense and dark. And that was the first heart stage. And this is where we are more heady and stuck in patterns. And this is, you know, I’m laying out the stages so it makes sense. There is…

more science in the beginning. So you understand what I’m talking about when I say heart brain. You understand what I’m talking about when we’re talking about coherence and incoherence. And so the way it’s written, yes, there’s more information in the beginning. There’s science in all the chapters, but by the time you get to the clear heart, and I’d love to read a little paragraph on it, I feel like it really sings. I got to be honest with you guys. I mean, for me, the devoted heart and the clear heart chapters are my favorite.

I love all the, you have to get through all the heart stages, but there’s something I want to read to you. The clear heart is the ultimate stage of the highest heart coherence where the heart, brain and mind find clarity and become one. Because of this, the clear heart is also the humble heart. It brings you to the realization that no one is better than anyone else. All souls are equal as Yogananda says, all hearts are fundamentally equal.

The clear heart is just more transparent. So, and then I go on to say these hard stages aren’t, you know, sequential, like you get to one and then you never go back. We, we flow in and out. So even though this is, you know, the state of heart, brain harmony, these are moments we tap into when you’re doing the dishes and you’re not thinking, you’re just sort of out of time and space, or you look into your dog’s eyes or loved one’s eyes, or you’re looking at the sunset and you’re just feeling this oneness.

And so what’s really powerful about these teachings in the book is that you’re learning to what’s called increase your coherence capacity. So your baseline with these tools gets higher and higher so that you’re able to experience more times in the clear heart and the devoted heart. You’re actually training yourself and over time it just gets higher and higher and higher. So there’s nothing, this isn’t random. This isn’t saying, some of us have better karma and some people are just

Kimberly Snyder (14:16.364)
I mean, yes, there’s a truth. Some souls may come in a little bit lighter. They don’t have as much trauma in their childhood. They have more joy. But what’s so powerful about this work is that you can go in, you can start to blast through old patterns and you just start to clear things out. And then you spend more time in these higher heart stages. That’s so true. When I first read it, I see I spent time in a lot of different stages, depending, you and you can go in and out.

But what else is interesting is the way you set that and you said where you start with a certain order of it. gives you a, reading those and having those, by time you get to the clear heart and reading that, you have such a broader base of understanding the different stages that it makes it more powerful and more understandable, easier to understand. If you just went to that first, you wouldn’t quite have as powerful experience as you read the other chapters first.

Well, it’s crucial actually. And again, they’re quite succinct, but to read all the stages because we can all be in, let’s say you’re in a steady hard stage where coherence starts to grow and you feel more anchored in yourself, but maybe you see something on the news or something triggers you on social media or somebody says something that is stored somewhere in one of your amygdala reminds you of a wounded child. Boom, you’re back in frustration or anger or whatever, from the dark heart.

What this work has done for me is you pull out much faster. It doesn’t mean you’re not in the lower heart stages, but I’m not in there as long. Now, John, you have known me so long and you can see, and I’ve been saying this to everyone, this has made such a big difference in my life, but can you share what a difference you’ve seen in me as another person? yes, because I think now you have the ability to pull out.

where before you would stay in those stages. not even be, I wouldn’t be in them as often and also not have the awareness. Exactly. You wouldn’t even know you’re in that. You know, it’s just now it brings. Vision grows. What I’ve noticed like in you doing this is that you can, you’re much more aware of when you’re in those different stages and pulling out of those stages and trying to better the way you handle when you’re in those stages.

Kimberly Snyder (16:33.942)
So yeah, there’s that aspect. And then for me personally, which I guess no one else can really know, we don’t know how we are on the inside except for ourselves, right? It’s just how much lighter I feel day to day, how much more peaceful. Because even before there’d be times where I’d be doing something, you you’re at your child’s birthday party or whatever, but there could be thinking or there just could be like ruminating over something. I actually talk about you in the steady heart.

where I say, you remember how many times I would call you and be like, is everything gonna be okay? Like you’re going to this outside source to get that validation. I would say me calling you and talking through stuff. I, you know, as I talk about in the book, sometimes it would be for hours and hours, especially when I started to become more of a public figure. And, you know, I remember something happened when I was on Good Morning America. One time there was, you know, a group of

registered dieticians, I was talking about diet soda and stuff and I sort of felt attacked for the first time. And I just, it just was really hard for me to handle. So anyways, for years, was a lot of this, again, I think admit, you know, I speak for myself going outside of ourselves to feel okay, whether that’s people complimenting us on social media or having someone literally say that it’s okay or having to always be in a relationship or whatever it is.

I talk about this story in the book, if you remember, where it’s probably down 80%, 85%. yes. Maybe 90%. Well, yes. I think that that’s the power of the book because it gives people, readers, the opportunity to learn because the biggest thing is we’re unaware if we’re doing any of this. We’re unaware of all of the stuff that’s going on within our heart and how powerful that

our hearts are as far as for our emotions and what we’re feeling. by having, you know, a book like this where you can just say, okay, hold on, stop. I recognize that I’m, I’m in this certain stage. I’m doing these behaviors. It gives you the tools and with the heart of mind meditation too, really, which is such a life -changing meditation that the only meditation I think I’ve ever done in my life to where I can physically feel differently immediately after doing it.

Kimberly Snyder (18:57.848)
Yeah, well, it’s so it’s what you’re describing is that physical shift and I’ll show the graph again for any of you watching this on YouTube. Otherwise, as you get your copy of the book, this is going to be on page 29. See, this is the pattern. This is important to point out. It’s the pattern, not just the number of your HRV. This is an anger and then this is appreciation. So as you said, John, you feel differently in your body.

but it’s not just your body. We can tune into the body, but since the heart is the main biological oscillator, it’s setting the rhythms. And Dr. McCready, who is who we did the heart aligned meditation study with, one of the things he says over and over again is emotions run the show. Emotions run the show. Emotions are at the root of why stress disables us. It’s not the traffic, it’s not the child’s tantrum, it’s the feeling of frustration and

overwhelm and time pressure that create the cortisol spikes, right? That create the fight or flight in our nervous system. So when you’re feeling it in your body, it’s actually awakening this incredible pathway of the heart brain. so that neuroplasticity doesn’t just refer to the neurons and the pathways in the brain, but between the heart and the brain. So what this means is we change our perceptions. So you said,

You start to be more aware. You start to be aware of what others are saying and doing like more deeply. This is where emotional intelligence grows. You can start to see context versus being really literal, which is something I used to do. Like, but you said this. So you no, no, no, I actually meant this. So you can start to not be so literal because you start to soften into what real communication is. But you also see yourself more. And so what that means is, you know,

as the heart awakens, and this is one of the spiritual truths that Yogananda and Triyukteshvara teach, your third eye opens. So you’re able to see, you’re able to perceive the heart aligned meditation and the tools in the book also increase your coherence capacity. So over time, and now I’ve been doing this a few years, I can just say, I’m so grateful to feel lighter and just more joyful and blissful in my day -to -day life. You know, that propelled heart stage, which is stage two,

Kimberly Snyder (21:20.31)
which is where I spent a lot of my life, like a lot of my life. And I think most people, as I just become aware of these hard stages and you see that there’s a lot of suffering because the propelled heart is restless. It’s never enough, never content, always on how do I appear to other people? Do people like me, am I too fat? Am I too this? Am I too that? My plans, trying to control life. I mean, it’s exhausting even talking about it. So.

When you come in and you start to create this coherence, we start to realize the truth of what Sri Yukteswar says when he says, the real necessities of the human heart have nothing to do with anything outside of himself. Nothing. So this means the self fulfillment, the self worth, the self love, the self, peace, everything actually coming from inside of you. I feel, you know, also John, I feel really peaceful.

Another thing, since you know me well, this is our eighth book launch together. I feel so much more peaceful going into a launch where typically it’s like running around and like, what’s going on here and are we doing enough? And just these feelings of lack and pressure. I just feel so peaceful because I know no matter what happens, you know, first of all, I’m just so grateful. Number two, I’ve benefited so much myself. And number three, it’s more like this gentle

offering out versus like, need you to get this book. You know, listen, this is amazing. And if people want it, they can have it too, but it’s not the neediness of the propelled heart. Yeah. And I think you’ve let go of the attachment of success, you know, what we deem as success. Yeah. That’s what the propelled heart’s attached. And then the steady heart is, you know, connected, self -fulfilled. Yeah. And I’ve watched you on this even at our

book launch event, you were so calm. I think just the nature of the subject matter and you’re taking it and living it. think that’s where I feel like watching people as they discover this. It’s almost like you’re living it and they feel it. When we did that study, we had them for a month.

Kimberly Snyder (23:41.44)
I would talk to all the different people setting up the, and I could feel the changes and you could feel talk, just talking to them and even them telling us how much they changed over one month’s time of doing the meditation. And that’s just in one month. Well, what’s amazing is in that study as well, we had ex -military, we had busy moms, we had all different types of people. We had artists. I know of one, at least one artist who was in the group and two of the people in the group,

were professional women. One was a doctor, one was a high level producer who wanted to find a partner and eventually want to have a family and had been on all the different dating apps and had been unsuccessful for years. Within a few weeks of doing our study, both of these women have found their life partner. One of them recently got engaged and o

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She has a master’s degree in early childhood education and is a leading expert in emotional development and travels the globe speaking on the topic. Her first book, Tiny Humans, Big Emotions, published in October 2023 from HarperCollins. Follow @seed.and.sew. Guest Resources: Website: Seed & Sew Book: Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids Episode Sponsors: LMNT OFFER: Right now, for my listeners LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any LMNT drink mix purchase at DrinkLMNT.com/FEELGOOD. That’s 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT any LMNT drink mix purchase. This deal is only available through my link so. Also try the new LMNT Sparkling — a bold, 16-ounce can of sparkling electrolyte water. 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Episode Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Parenting and Emotions02:48 Understanding Emotions in Parenting06:01 The Role of Connection in Parenting08:50 Identifying Needs Behind Behaviors12:09 Navigating Punishment and Connection14:48 The Importance of Self-Regulation17:51 Co-Regulation and Emotional Intelligence21:09 Addressing Lying and Trust23:47 Creating a Safe Space for Sharing27:00 Understanding Fear and Vulnerability29:45 The Impact of Trauma on Parenting32:59 Conclusion and Resources SOLLUNA PRODUCT LINKS Glowing Greens Powder™ Feel Good SBO Probiotics Feel Good Detoxy Feel Good Digestive Enzymes Feel Good Starter Kit Feel Good Skincare KIMBERLY’S BOOKS Chilla Gorilla & Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart The Beauty Detox Solution Beauty Detox Foods Beauty Detox Power Radical Beauty Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life You Are More Than You Think You Are OTHER PODCASTS YOU MAY ENJOY! Wellness Insights: How to Listen to Your Body for Nutritional Guidance How the Power Foods Diet helps with Weight Loss with Dr. Neal Barnard EP. 877 How Not to Age with New York Times best-selling author Dr. Michael Greger How to eat to reduce anxiety with Harvard nutritional psychiatrist Dr. Uma Naidoo Powered and Distributed by: PodcastOne Transcript: Welcome to the Feel Good Podcast, which is all about heart-led living and wellness. When we awaken the power of our hearts and let that guide us through our daily choices and decisions, through our four cornerstones, food, body, emotional well-being, and spiritual growth, we will experience the most incredible results and create more vitality, health, strength, peace, abundance, and love in our lives. I am your host, Kimberly Snyder, New York Times bestselling author, founder of Solluna, creator of the research-based Heart Aligned Meditation, wellness expert, nutritionist, and international speaker. I am passionate about supporting you on your unique heart and wellness journey. For more information on todays show please go to mysolluna.com for show notes and links. Let’s get started. Speaker 1 (01:29.13)So thank you so much for being here with us today and congrats on your new book. This is your second one. Speaker 2 (01:30.73) Yeah, yeah, my first one, Tiny Human’s Big Emotions came out in 2023. I was like 32 weeks pregnant when that one published, was a whirlwind. Wow. Yeah, that one hit the New York Times bestseller list, which was exciting. Yeah. And then a few weeks after it published, was doing well. Our editor reached out and was like, Alyssa, will you write another book? I was like, actually, I just need a nap. I’m so tired. And so I turned to Rachel, who I’ve worked with, had the privilege of working with now for seven years. And she works with me at my company. And I asked her she would write this bad boy with me. And she said, yeah. So we were able to do it. Well, I think this is so great because many of us are parents in the community or are thinking about being parents in the future or even not. feel like parenting books help us understand ourselves. And I can say as a parent, there’s been this incredible experience of feeling like I’m reparenting myself. And most of us are not learned. You we don’t learn. to handle emotions, have tools as you talk about in your book. And I went through this period of this, where it’s like, hmm, you know, it just felt a little sad and I had to process that. But I also think we’re given the, you know, the childhoods that were meant to be given. But I feel like this is, you know, this is big stuff we’re talking about here. Yeah, people often say they like come for their kids, but they stay for themselves. That so much of this work. We say if you have a nervous system like this works for you. We are really just talking about neuroscience and what it’s like to be a human on planet Earth and be in relationship with other humans. And man, it’s doozy sometimes. Yeah. Speaker 1 (02:55.63)Yeah, and I like how you talk about upfront. It’s not about trying to shield ourselves or our children from hardships because you know my nine-year-old now I can see him being more self-conscious about what he wears to school and Then he told me that there was a child like in one of the older grades who kind of made fun of his dog man sure now he won’t wear it and it just brings up stuff and It’s a lot like all the layers of kind of reliving what we’ve been through as parents. 100%. And I find for myself as a parent, there’s nothing harder than just watching your child experience something hard, like being made fun of, feeling left out, feeling that shame or embarrassment. And knowing that it’s not our job to take it away, but instead to be with them through those hard things to let them know that they can navigate this and survive it. It’s so hard. to do in practice as a parent is allowing it. Well, I’m not sure that all of us were even raised with parents that were aware that there was hardship. I wasn’t. I’m not just blaming my parents or anything. just I don’t think that’s how they were raised either. So I just know that there was a lot of things that I pushed down because I couldn’t handle them. Speaker 1 (04:26.614)And I think that’s ultimately why I turned to certain things like bulimia and eating disorders. I couldn’t digest life. And, you know, as adults, we continue to learn and grow and pass on, you know, more tools to our children. Totally, and we’re not gonna heal all the things and that’s okay too. I think of my friend, Dr. Linietta Willis, she’s an intergenerational trauma therapist. And she talks about our legacy blessings and our legacy burdens. And our legacy blessings are those things that we wanna pass on, that we inherited and that we want to pass on to our children in the next gen. And our legacy burdens are those things that maybe we don’t want to pass on, but also knowing that we’re not going to heal all the burdens, that some of them will get passed on and that’s okay. We get to give our kids the tools and the outlets to continue to heal and process. Yeah Speaker 1 (05:24.078)Well, I love how, and we’ll get into some of the more specific tools you talk about, but there’s a underlying theme of connection, which is, you know, in my work with the heart and just being connected to self and always, even if we’re not perfect parents, if we can stay empathetic, we can be connected. Our children will really feel that. 100%. And when we’re talking about different topics in big kids in this book, we talk about a number of different topics, but you’re right, the through line is not it. The goal isn’t to say, Hey, say this script at this time, or say these exact words or do this exact thing. The through line for us is how do you maintain connection and just stay in relationship with each other and recognizing that Yeah. Speaker 2 (06:13.336)Sometimes relationship is messy and hard and sometimes it feels good and easy and you’re not failing if you’re in conflict in relationship or you’re in the messy hard parts. That’s just a part of being in relationship with each other. Right. Well, you know, as you say, these tiny humans and then middle childhood, there’s different things happening on in their brain and their prefrontal cortex and the way that they process information. So I want to ask you as a parent, you know, some real questions. And then of course, it will illustrate some of the information that you share in big kids, bigger, bigger feelings. either you or Rachel use an example where, obviously paraphrasing here, but I think it was one of the daughters. was teasing the sibling. then the mama, which was you, Rachel, said, well, no screen time tomorrow, if you remember this. And I think as a parent, sometimes we see behaviors in our children. And in our family dynamic, our older son, who’s four years older than our younger son, who’s now five, sometimes he’ll take his choice because he can, and he’s bigger, or he’ll do things. And as hard as a parent, like we don’t know. Sometimes you wanna say, because my kids don’t get screen time except on the weekends. So sometimes I’ll say something, well, next Saturday you’re not gonna get your 30 minutes of screen time. like you said, it’s punishment, give, take, but sometimes you don’t know what else to do. Totally, yeah. Well, and that’s real and a part of just being a human on planet Earth too, that you’re not always gonna in the moment have the answers. So giving ourselves grace is so key here too. But in an ideal world, what we’re looking at is trying to identify, we get to be like a detective and see what’s the need that’s driving this behavior. So when your older son comes and takes that toy from his younger son, is it a need for connection? Speaker 2 (08:08.768)Is he really trying to connect or engage or get somebody’s attention, which is a connection? You get so much attention though. Some of our kids, it’s like a leaky cup. It can feel like a leaky cup for connection. I have a high connection seeker. My daughter’s a high connection seeker. And it can feel like there’s not enough connection in the world that will be enough for her. And my son is not a high connection seeker. It’s almost like it feels easier to fill his connection cup. But also for him, his sensory needs are more demanding than hers. we all just have our own little blueprint walking through this world. But when we can look at what is the need driving the behavior and we break these down into two categories. We have sensory needs and we talk about the nervous system, the nine sensory systems which we can get into. But when we’re looking at that, we’re really looking at are they under stimulated or overstimulated? Are they hungry? Are they tired? Do they need to move their body? Do they need a break from stim? They need to chill. Right, okay. That’s more easier to decode in a way. Speaker 2 (09:11.822)For a lot of us, we grew up in cultures where sensory needs were seen as needs. Food, water, movement, were seen as needs. And connection needs were often seen as wants. It was like attention-seeking behavior, and that was a negative thing. And it wasn’t seen as, you need attention, that you have this need for inclusion or belonging or knowing that you’re loved or worthy or valued. so for a lot of us, the connection needs can actually be quite triggering. where it can feel like, my gosh, this kid’s so needy. They need so much. And that’s our own bias coming up into play and being able to recognize that is half the battle. And then really being able to see like, okay, this is a need for connection. And maybe I just spent a bunch of time connecting with this kiddo and maybe they’re a high connection needs kid. And so what are the outlets for that? Great. Speaker 2 (10:07.154)And we give some examples in the book. And I was actually, was just at an event down in LA where we were, I was met with a group of a hundred moms and we were talking about exactly this. Like what are ways that we can help our kids? Like if I can’t give them more connection in this moment, I’m cooking dinner or I’m trying to do something. What are outlets for that? And we have things like journaling back and forth or being able to call a friend and chat with them on the phone or. FaceTime a grandparent or a cousin or a friend or an aunt or uncle and find ways to have that outlet that’s not always directly from you as the parent or maybe even from the sibling who might have lower connection needs and kind of needs a break to be by themselves for a little bit. Right. Okay. So would you say as a parenting expert, Alyssa, punishment or taking things away doesn’t really work? It just doesn’t solve the problem. What we’re going to do is we’re responding to the behavior on the surface. As long as we’re not meeting that need, you’re going to keep seeing new behaviors pop up because the need doesn’t go away. Right? In the same way that if you had like a baby who was hungry, you could bounce them and shush them all day long, but until you feed them, they’re not going to stop crying because they’re hungry. And if we have a child who needs to move their body or a child who needs to connect, we might put out the fires on the surface, but until we meet that need, you’re just gonna see new ones pop up. Speaker 1 (11:40.226)Do you think that there’s some children in the way that they’re, you know, finding their way in the world? Like my older son is very mischievous, for example. Slime in my farm boots and he thinks it’s hilarious and he laughs like he’s always… Pranks like he loves it. And he just thinks it’s hilarious. And he gets so much attention. Again, like always, all the time. Do you feel like maybe some of this behavior is, you he wants his… He would. Speaker 2 (11:54.888)Such a connection seeker. Speaker 1 (12:09.57)get a rise out of his brother and. really from a place of connection. I want your attention. want you to notice me. brother. From anybody, right? Our high connection seekers, they’ll seek it out anywhere. we can help them identify that. I would say things like, that was a silly prank that you did, or that was silly joke. Did you want me to laugh? Were you trying to connect with me and help kind of bridge that awareness for them of when you’re doing these things, it’s because you want to connect. That’s how we help build their awareness of what is my need. So then when they grow up in the world, they can move through the world knowing, when I feel this way, it’s because I’m hungry. When I feel that way, it’s because I’m tired. When I feel this way, I need to move my body. When I’m doing these things, it’s because I need to connect with somebody, because I need to feel that sense of connection and belong. you Speaker 1 (13:07.278)As many of you know, I’ve been drinking our beloved Power Protein Smoothie Community Recipe for many years. And I do this day to day as a great way to get energizing protein into my day without feeling too heavy. Usually I drink it in the early or mid afternoons. And lately for the protein, I’ve been using the most pure, delicious vanilla chai plant-based protein blend that I want to share with you by Anima Mundi. This protein is made from pumpkin seeds, brown rice, sacha inchi, and pea, and it contains adaptogens like astralagus, ashwagandha, and aluthero, which all have been known to help support recovery, enhance performance, and help the body adapt to everyday stress. It also has digestion-boosting warming ingredients. You know we love that, like cardamom, cinnamon, and ginger. This protein tastes delicious and there’s a subtle sweetness to it which comes from the vanilla and the monk fruit. It’s a way to deeply nourish your cells with amino acids, complete plant-based protein. To get this delicious plant-based blend, please go to anemamundiherbals.com and use code Kim20 to get 20 % off your purchase. Again, we’re talking about the amazing vanilla chai protein powder. That’s anemomundierbals.com code Kim20, A-N-I-M-A-M-U-N-D-I-H-E-R-B-A-L-S.com code Kim20 to get 20 % off your purchase. In a world that is constantly promoting health fads and quick fixes, we can never get past the importance of the basics, such as creating optimal digestion, eating whole foods, and hydration. Yes, hydration. When we are optimally hydrated, our skin glows and is nourished, and it greatly helps us avoid headaches, cramps, fatigue, brain fog, and weakness. Besides water, we need electrolytes, which need to be replenished like probiotics. Every morning in my room temperature water that I drink first thing, Speaker 1 (15:27.99)I add a packet of Element electrolytes, usually the watermelon or raspberry flavors, which contain a science-backed mix of magnesium, potassium, and sodium. Element contains no sugar or artificial colors or fillers. I highly recommend that you also incorporate electrolytes into your routine as well to optimize your hydration, which your body, mind, and heart will greatly benefit from. And for now, our amazing community listeners, We’ll get a free sample pack with any element drink mix at www.drinkelement.com slash feel good. That’s eight single serving packets for free with any element drink mix purchase. Please go to www.drinkelement.com slash feel good. That’s www.drinklmnt.com slash feel good. Also check out the new element sparkling, which is a sparkly, fizzy electrolyte water if you love fizzy drinks. Speaker 1 (16:34.958)I’ll just tell you a fear as a parent hearing this is, again, he gets so much attention. Again, everybody says it, right? I pay so much attention to E. So I guess my fear is if he’s still wanting more, what if when he grows up, he gets into unhealthy relationships or he just always has to be in a relationship because of that. I want to reframe, like, you’re looking at intimate relationships. I see most often with our high connection seekers, they often actually seek it out even much outside of intimate relationships in friendships and in other spaces where, like, they might be the human who corrals kids to, like, all get together and play a game or they can often be, like, leaders in a pack where they… are so many outlets for connection that it’s not just an intimate one-to-one relationship. There are so many avenues for it. And as they continue to grow, they’ll find places to connect in different ways to make that happen. And we can support them along the way. But these are humans who it’s a superpower and we need them in this world. My daughter is like this. She is a high connection seeker. She walks into a room of 100 people she doesn’t know. And she’s like, my God, yes, 100 new friends. She’s 20 months. And she’s four? my gosh. and do you think that correlates with being an extrovert? Yeah, a lot of way. Speaker 2 (18:00.494)A lot of our high connection seeking kiddos are also extroverted. You a little bit have to be because it’s going to fill that cup, right? That like when you’re in that, although I just had a kid pop into my head who I when I was teaching and he was five years old and he had high connection needs, but he was an introvert and he would seek out more one to one like peer connection connection for me as a teacher. But he would look forward in those kind of smaller groups. activities and avenues, but he would glom on to like other kids and just want to be near them and want to talk to them and want to share and yada yada. But it was like he had one or two good friends in each space. He wasn’t like, I want to hang out with everyone in the class. Well, so there’s natural extroverts, introverts, connectors, like you said. How do you think this relates to, and you know, this is sort of on a spiritual level and in yogic traditions, you talk about the true self and self connection, which is self-effulgence and fulfilling and being so connected to the love inside that you wanna share it with people, but you’re not needing it. Yeah, I think that we’re, I’m going to pull in the like neuroscience and too. When we’re looking at this, I want to recognize that there’s not a human on the planet where there’s a one size fits all. Right? all of us, our nervous systems operate differently in the way that we integrate stimuli, the way that we integrate the world around us and make sense of it is different for all of us. And for some kids, they are their superpowers. I can noticing the details. or they know if something moves in their environment. They can get really dysregulated by like piles or clutter or things like that because they’re super attuned to the visual stimuli in their space. Some humans who sound, they’re really aware of the sounds in their environment and they can get really overstimulated by sound, especially if there’s competing sounds happening. Some kids who notice the details of how clothing feels in a heightened way. It’s too itchy, it’s too tight, it’s too something. Speaker 2 (20:02.378)And I look at these as superpowers, that they’re really good at noticing, they’re very attuned to those senses. And there are some humans who aren’t as attuned, and for them, can, it then appears as though they can maybe be more easygoing or they can move through the world differently, because their brain isn’t so hyper-focused on like, my gosh, what is that noise? I can’t stop hearing that clicking sound in the background and kind of tuning into those things in different ways. And so when we’re looking at the integration of all of that stimuli. We go through the nine senses in the book and outline it. But I think it’s really important in then saying like how you integrate them then determines how you show up in the world and what you need from the world around you based on how your nervous system is integrating that stimuli, because it’s going to find kind of homeostasis and regulation in different ways based on your unique nervous system. Does that make sense? It does to me. It sounds a little complicated to explain to a child. for sure. I’m going to break it down in different words to Yeah, to a kid. we this so the bulk of the work that we do at Seed is in school systems. I work in schools, elementary, middle schools, and then in childcare programs. And we teach teachers like how to talk to kids about this. How do you teach them about their nervous system? Totally. Well, there’s this idea of self-regulation even is something I think we need to really break down that and self-regulation. Speaker 2 (21:32.404)You teach self-regulation through co-regulation and self-regulation isn’t one size fits all. Wait, so say that again for a moment. mean co-regulation, you regulate yourself and then you’re in the space and then… You know, it’s like goosebumps. It’s almost like the science of heart coherence. Well, our hearts are giving off a magnetic field that’s 100 times stronger than the brain. So when we’re more emotionally calm, you talk about emotional intelligence and the more coherent, our heart rhythms are smooth and our… borrowing your comms. Speaker 2 (21:52.108)Not anymore. Speaker 1 (22:06.306)Brains are nervous, everything’s in sync. People around you feel that. Totally. So as we calm ourselves, we can calm our children more. That’s right. I think of it like the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat. A thermometer is just going to read the temperature of the room, you’re going to join it. A thermostat sets that temperature. And in order to set that temperature, you have to be mindful of your own regulation. So often we want kids to regulate for us. We want them to get calm for us when we can’t. Right. Yeah, I see parents who are literally screaming in public. Yeah. And they’re like, you calm down. We’re at the playground and I heard this, this mom didn’t know we were there. We were in the bathroom and she was like talking to her two girls and then me and my younger son came out and she was like embarrassed. I mean, I felt bad for her because obviously she didn’t want, no one wants to be that person. Nobody wants to be in that state where their body feels so out of control that you’re like, need the humans around me to change their behavior so I can feel in control. And so so much, that’s why I said so many folks, they come for the kids, but stay for themselves that we dive into what is, how does your nervous system work? What does it look like to learn how to build your own self-awareness and self-regulation so that we can then navigate co-regulation with our kids so that Speaker 2 (23:28.098)when our kid comes in and they roll their eyes and they slam the door and they give a sass or the sarcasm or whatever, that we can be the calm force in that moment. And it doesn’t mean I don’t hold boundaries. It doesn’t mean that any behavior is allowed. It does mean that I am really working on, okay, how do I calm my body so that I can respond with intention instead of react from a place of dysregulation. So let’s play this out for any mamas out there who have teenagers or getting close to teenagers, not there yet. But although I’ve seen some behavior from my nine-year-old defiance and disrespect, which you talk about in the book. Let’s say your teenager comes home and you say, or, hey, I’ll be the teenager. Well, it seems like something happened at school today. I’m fine. Yeah, I am here if you want to chat. Would you like space or do you want to talk about? Speaker 1 (24:30.862)Why are you so annoying? Why are you always trying to say that to me? I love you so much. I’m going to be cooking in the kitchen. If you want to come touch base, that’s where I’ll be That’s not a fun. Okay. Let’s do another one. Yeah. I mean, so it’s a center. You’re the center and you’re not trying to grab. Okay. I love it. I’m not taking the bait. Right? Like the bait is all, that would be me joining their energy. And I’m saying like, I’ve got you. I’m still calm in your storm. Okay, let’s do this one, which I have experienced where my son will call me by my first name and I don’t like it. Sure. Okay, so I’ll be the teenager tween, okay? Yeah. Comes home from school. Hey, Alyssa. Speaker 2 (25:15.544)Hey, did you want my attention? I heard you use my first name. Alisha? Yeah, it does sound like you want my attention. I’m here if you want to chat or hang. Lyssa, Lyssa! Yeah, come

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Awakening the Heart: The Ultimate Way to Total Holistic Health with Kimberly Snyder & John Pisani

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Awakening the Heart: The Ultimate Way to Total Holistic Health with Kimberly Snyder & John Pisani

This week’s topic: The Science Of Upgrading Your Health and Relationships From The Power of Your Heart.

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Join us to get weekly tips, videos, recipes, and 10% off your first order!

Join us to get
weekly tips,
videos, recipes,
and 10%
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