Tools and Insights on Grief and Healing with NYT Bestseller Kris Carr [Episode #865]
Â
This weekâs topic is: Tools and Insights on Grief and Healing with NYT Bestseller Kris Carr
I am so excited to have my very special guest, Kris Carr, who is a New York Times bestselling author and wellness leader, whoâs been thriving with stage IV cancer for more than 20 years. Listen in as Kris shares how emotional wellbeing is an integral part of holistic healing, why grief requires acknowledgment and processing, creating golden moments in life, and so much more!
TOPICS COVERED
- Emotional wellbeing is an integral part of holistic healingâŚ
- Grief is a complex emotion that requires acknowledgment and processingâŚ
- Curiosity and emotional literacy are essential for understanding and caring for our emotionsâŚ
- Healing is a continuous journey that goes beyond physical cureâŚ
- Finding oneâs own path to healing and tending to the heart are crucial for overall wellbeingâŚ
- Create golden moments in life and string them together for a beautiful lifeâŚ

About Kris Carr
Kris Carr is a New York Times bestselling author and a 20-year cancer thriver. Sheâs been called a âforce of natureâ by O Magazine and was named a ânew role modelâ by The New York Times. Kris is also a member of Oprahâs SuperSoul 100, recognizing the most influential thought-leaders today. Her work has also been featured in Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, Good Morning America, the Today show, Super Soul Sunday, OWN and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Kris teaches people how to take back their health and live like they mean it. Her work will change the way you live, love and eat!
Â
EPISODE SPONSORS
Â
LMNT:
Right now LMNT is offering my listeners a free sample pack with any purchase, Thatâs 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors or share LMNT with a salty friend.
USE LINK: DrinkLMNT.com/FEELGOOD.
Feel Good Detoxy:
USE LINK: https://shop.mysolluna.com/products/detoxy Use code: boosthealth for 20% off
Â
I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!
There are lots of ways to share your responses or questions about the podcast:
- Comment below
- Connect on Twitter: @_kimberlysnyder
- Follow the conversation on my Instagram
- Comment on my Facebook Page
- Ask a question: mysolluna.com/askkimberly
Be sure to Subscribe to the Podcast and follow me on Soundcloud, so you never miss an episode!
HOW TO SUBSCRIBE
You may be really intrigued by podcasts, but you may just know how to listen or subscribe. Itâs very easy, I promise! To listen to more than one episode, and to have it all in a handier way, on your phone or tablet, itâs way better to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the âFeel Good Podcast with Kimberly Snyderâ? My passion is to inspire and empower you to be your most authentic and beautiful self. We offer interviews with top experts, my personal philosophies and experiences, as well as answers to community-based questions around topics such as health, beauty, nutrition, yoga, spirituality and personal growth.
The intention of the Feel Good Podcast is to wellâŚhelp you really Feel Good in your body, mind and spirit! Feeling Good means feeling peaceful, energized, whole, uniquely beautiful, confident and joyful, right in the midst of your perfectly imperfect life. This podcast is as informative and full of practical tips and take-aways as it is inspirational. I am here to support you in being your very best! I have so much love and gratitude for you. Thank you for tuning in and being part of the community :).
RESOURCES
- SBO Probiotics
- Detoxy
- Digestive Enzymes
- Feel Good Starter Kit
- FREE Gift: 7-Day Meditation Series (DIGITAL COURSE)
- YOU ARE MORE
- Beauty Detox Solutions
- Beauty Detox Foods
- Beauty Detox Power
- Radical Beauty
- Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life
- Be a part of the community Join the Feel Good Circle
- Four Cornerstone FREE Guide: Text the word GUIDE to +1-855-741-0602
- Additional resources in transcript
- Kris Carr Interview
- Krisâ Books
Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:
- What Are Living Foods? A Guide to Nutrient Dense Eating for Better Health
- The Connection Between Food and Spirituality with New York Times Bestselling Author Geneen Roth
- Winter Wellness Practices: Effective Ways for How to Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit
- 5 Effective Ways to Stay on Track and Thrive with your Health, Wellness and Energy
Powered and Distributed by: PodcastOne
Transcript:
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly Snyder (00:00.87)
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show where I am so thrilled for our very special guest today, Chris Carr, who is someone I have long been a fan of, her work, her books, her amazing energy. She is the multi-week New York Times bestselling author of the Crazy Sexy Book Series and also she is the subject and director of the documentary Crazy Sexy Cancer.
Sheâs also a fellow Hay House author, and she has a new book out called Iâm Not a Mourning Person, braving loss, grief, and the big messy emotions that happen when life falls apart. So Chris, thank you so much for joining me here today. Iâm so excited.
Kris (00:49.034)
Iâm so happy to be with you, Kimberly. This is a long time coming. We finally get our time together.
Kimberly Snyder (00:54.75)
Finally get our time. Everything is, you know, this universal timing. And I just, Iâve been such a fan of your work for a long time and weâre both plant-based advocates. And I just, I love your energy. I love your smile. I love your positivity. So here we are.
Kris (01:14.756)
Mmm, right back at you, honey.
Kimberly Snyder (01:17.094)
So itâs also amazing that we are doing this show around Valentineâs Day. I was reading in your amazing book, we have so many coincidences and things that are just so aligned. And one of the ones that isnât so happy is that on Valentineâs Day, I know you got your cancer diagnosis and that was actually the day that my mother got her cancer diagnosis.
She passed in six weeks. I know the central story in your book around your father, it took some years, but either way, whether itâs anticipatory grief as you talk about or shocking grief, weâre never prepared for these moments that are gonna hit us all in different ways. And I love in the book how you expand on how grief is not just this one specific thing, but itâs a big emotion.
Kris (02:09.95)
Yeah, and first and foremost, Iâm so sorry for your loss. And itâs so hard to lose a parent. I think many times, perhaps, we donât give it enough of a beat in our lives because in our society, itâs sort of like the natural order of things. But itâs a monumental shift that each and every one of us are going to experience at some point. And going back to Valentineâs Day,
flip side of grief, which Iâve learned is love. And the more we love, the more we grieve, but we donât have the tools, many of us, to actually go on this journey. And so I think what we do instead is because we might be so terrified of these big emotions, because for many of us, it feels like weâre in the fight, flight, freeze mode. We are, becauseâŚ
Kimberly Snyder (02:47.226)
Yes.
Kris (03:06.51)
Thatâs the physical manifestation of pain. And so we will do whatever we can think of to numb, to avoid, to stuff it down, maybe to work harder and hustle longer. And coming from our background, we know that health is a very holistic, integrated experience. And so itâs not just about what weâre eating, itâs also about addressing whatâs eating us.
Kimberly Snyder (03:32.262)
Yes.
I love that. I was going to say one of the ways in which I really connect so deeply to your work is that youâre also talking about food and juice and smoothies and things that I also love. But then youâre also talking about big emotions and emotional wellbeing and spirituality, right? In the self-connection because it isnât just going to be the one thing, right? And thatâs, itâs, you know, we talk about these cornerstones, Chris, food, body, emotional wellbeing.
Kris (03:59.263)
Yeah.
04:04 Holistic Wellness
Kimberly Snyder (04:04.574)
spiritual growth. If youâre just eating green salad and having the green juice, but youâre pushing all of it down, it doesnât make you a healthy person. Thatâs not real wellness.
Kris (04:17.246)
Yeah, well, you know, it creates more inflammation. And I feel like we, you know, I came at this lifestyle from such a 21 years ago. So yesterday was Valentineâs Day. If youâre listening to this, it wonât be Valentineâs Day probably, but yesterday before we recorded was Valentineâs Day. And it was my 21 year cancerversary.
Kimberly Snyder (04:20.09)
Yes.
Kris (04:43.126)
So 21 years of living with stage four cancer. And when I was newly diagnosed, the first thing that I turned to is food because it was the thing I thought, well, I feel so out of control and what can I control? Well, I can control what I put in my body. So let me start there. It helped me feel like I was doing something, that I was participating in my wellbeing or my attempt at wellbeing. And over time,
Kimberly Snyder (04:43.24)
Wow.
Kimberly Snyder (04:56.199)
Yes.
05:12 The Role of Food in Healing
Kris (05:12.402)
it sort of the practice built and changed and grew to your point where it was like, wow, you know, I canât just focus on the healthy food because Iâm riddled with fear and anxiety and stress. So what do I do to help that? Now that Iâm feeling better, I have more energy, this piece is still really troubling me.
Kimberly Snyder (05:15.778)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (05:26.187)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (05:35.246)
So itâs interesting when my mom had her diagnosis, the first thing I did as well was in that doing mode, hey, I know how to care for you. Weâre going to cut out sugar. Weâre going to have green juice and all these things. Right. And then thereâs, you know, this part of the book where you talk about this.
06:23 Surrender and Control
Itâs just this surrender like Iâve never had to surrender before. Right. I described myself as a recovering perfectionist, controlling, you know, over performer always wanted to have be number one in my class, always had to have perfect grades and I had never faced something that was so overwhelming that you have to surrender, whether you like it or not, it felt like this giant wave. And then there was this shift at a point, Chris, where I was praying.
You know, I pray for my mom to get well. I pray for this healing. And then at a certain point it shifted because it all happened so quickly. It was, I pray for her soul to be in peace. Right? There was this peace that passeth all understanding that, um, you know, thatâs part of the journey unless we resist it, which, um, some people seem to be in grief or, um, intense grief for longer periods.
Kris (06:30.231)
Yeah.
Kimberly Snyder (06:49.586)
Can you touch a little bit more on those topics, Chris? Cause you talk about this all in depth in your book, surrender, control.
Kris (06:54.922)
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. So each chapter in the book is designed around an emotion or experience you may face when the rug gets pulled out from under you. And itâs going to happen to each and every one of us. I think one of the greatest things that we can pursue as human beings is to learn how to become more stress-hardy. And I
Kimberly Snyder (07:21.534)
Mmm.
Kris (07:24.446)
I am one of those people, Iâm like, I want the rainbow, but I donât always want the rain, right? And thatâs not how life works. And yet many of us are very sideswiped when the rain does come. And itâs as if we manifested something or we did something wrong to call it in. And again, this is cycles of life and nature. Theyâre so much bigger than us. And so how do we learn to ride those waves? You use theâŚ
Kimberly Snyder (07:36.729)
Yes.
Kris (07:52.426)
metaphor of a wave, which is so common in grief circles and the grief community. I think whatâs so powerful about that is that when we think about a wave, we think about nature. I just got to Florida. Iâm hoping to go for a walk on the beach later and see the ocean. If I were to stand there and try to hold back the ocean, letâs just say that, Kimberly, I was strong enough to do that for a minute. Letâs just say.
Kimberly Snyder (08:15.407)
Yes.
Kris (08:21.314)
the waves are gonna start to stack. And then over time, itâs gonna get to a point where I am definitely not strong enough to keep holding the waves back. And as powerful as I am, as we are, weâre not more powerful than the ocean. And itâs the same, I think, with our emotions. The way out, it may sound cliche, but the way out truly is through. And itâs also a lot more peaceful. Itâs better for our nervous systems.
Kimberly Snyder (08:45.616)
Yes.
Kris (08:52.102)
It supports our entire healing and wellbeing. And I think it helps us become more integrated as people because if we think about it, emotions are just information, theyâre energy. Theyâre here for a reason. And so us getting curious about them and learning how to care for them, Iâm sure everybody listening to you is interested in self-care and wellbeing.
Kimberly Snyder (09:05.244)
Yeah.
09:18 Embracing Emotions
Kris (09:18.49)
This is the same exact thing. Weâre just applying those principles to our emotions, especially understanding that ruptures will happen. Ruptures are the moment where life changes, where the rug gets pulled out from under you, where you feel like youâve been kicked in the choppers. Theyâre going to happen, and itâs about how we show up for ourselves and show up for those
Kimberly Snyder (09:31.038)
Mm.
Kris (09:48.546)
how well we come out on the other side.
Kimberly Snyder (09:53.038)
These are such important teachings, Chris, and I feel like, I think many of us, I didnât learn this when I was a child. I think a lot of us, itâs almost like, ouch, I donât wanna feel that pain or that emotion, let me bury it or let me do something, right, where the perfectionism came from. And itâs interesting, I have two young children, and itâs almost like Iâm healing my childhood through teaching them about these feelings, and sometimes I feel like Iâm talking to myself.
Kris (09:59.967)
Yeah.
Kimberly Snyder (10:23.058)
when Iâm talking to them. So thatâs been part of this healing, but itâs amazing how integral this is to our wellbeing. And yet a lot of us donât have a clue how to actually deal with feelings. So what would you say to someone, Chris, if they say, it just feels yucky. I donât like it. I want it to go away. Right. In a basic sense, like I donât, I donât like this.
Kris (10:45.216)
Mmm.
Kris (10:49.198)
Mm-hmm. Hey.
Kimberly Snyder (10:50.53)
I donât like this wave. What do you say to them?
Kris (10:54.026)
Hey, I donât like it either. One of the things that my therapist said to me that I write about in the book is when the grief train pulls into the station, it brings all the cars, right? It brings pass hurts, it brings things that you think that youâre over, it brings up trauma, and all of that can inflame other emotions. Like I have a chapter in the book thatâs about anger and rage, and itâs called Becoming Unbecoming.
Kimberly Snyder (11:03.567)
Yes, I read that.
Kris (11:22.586)
and how I wasnât prepared for the amount of rage that was coming up for me in the moments of explosion and implosion, which I write about very candidly, in a way where I was like, am I really gonna tell people about that? Yeah, because Iâm not alone. And I think our stories connect us, but I love what youâre talking about with your children. AndâŚ
Kimberly Snyder (11:40.795)
Yes.
Kris (11:47.566)
teaching emotional literacy because as soon as we vilify something, whatever doesnât come out in a healthy way will still come out. We know that. Itâll come out in another way thatâs oftentimes a lot more complicated. If we go back to this idea that you donât⌠Another thing that my therapist says is it is what it is and you donât have to like it. Hereâs the emotion and you donât have to like it.
Kimberly Snyder (11:57.582)
Yes, yes.
Kris (12:17.334)
But our opportunity is to get curious about it. And so I often, I made this connection about a year ago about the different organs in my body that have cancer. So I have tumors in my liver and both of my lungs. And when I was newly diagnosed, I mean, none of us come to this planet with an ownerâs manual. I didnât know what my liver and my lungs did. I was like, I know they do good things and I need them. Yeah.
Kimberly Snyder (12:44.894)
Theyâre important. Theyâre in there.
Kris (12:47.21)
Theyâre in there, they must be doing something. But then when I went on this wellness journey, I said, well, what if I get to know these organs? What if I learn what they do and what they prefer? I learned their preferences and how to take care of them like something that I love. And itâs the same idea, I think, with our, oh, Chris, I donât like grief. Okay, I understand that.
Kimberly Snyder (12:58.728)
Mmm.
Kimberly Snyder (13:08.83)
Hmm.
Kris (13:16.322)
But itâs like me saying, I donât like my liver. Thereâs something about my liver thatâs not attractive. Itâs subpar. I need my liver, right? And so we need our grief to be whole people. We canât amputate any parts of ourselves and expect that wholeness that each and every one of us craves. And so I would say, thatâs OK, but I invite you to get curious about it. Why?
Kimberly Snyder (13:22.03)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (13:29.265)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (13:43.386)
Mm, mm. Why? And then also for me, itâs, I say this mantra to myself. Itâs only sensation. So I went on this, itâs difficult for me to go into cold water.
Kris (13:45.003)
Yeah.
Kris (13:53.986)
Hmm
Kris (13:57.518)
Itâs beautiful.
Kimberly Snyder (14:01.41)
My husband has a cold plunge and we swim in the cold waterfalls in Hawaii where we also live. And I say this mantra, itâs only sensation as a goal of myself to master sensation. Because again, I wasnât taught emotional wellbeing. So when those big feelings hit, Iâm like, oh, it goes through. Wow. You know, just that curiosity that what you are here is about the acknowledging, first of all, that itâs there. And then I love this.
quote, this is at the very beginning of the book and the introduction where you say, burying pain can also make us sick or at the very least constipated, right? Because digestion is something that Iâve talked about so much, youâve talked about. Itâs not digesting food, but itâs also digesting and letting these big emotions, grief, anger come through, not just pushing, but come through us.
Kris (14:43.136)
Yeah.
Kris (14:54.59)
Yeah, absolutely. So thereâs a lot of tools in the book, but you are touching on all of them innately, because I think this is who you are. And obviously, youâve gone through big life things, and youâre on this path yourself. And oftentimes, we overlook the simplest things, the basics, because many of us are looking for
the next big healing experience or it must be out there, it must be something I donât know or whatâs the latest this, that and the other thing. Yeah, the latest trend or hack or whatever it is. And with health, I always come back to the basics. In fact, I keep it as simple as possible. Simple, right? Because I wanna do this for the long term. I wanna add years to my life and I donât know about you Kimberly,
Kimberly Snyder (15:29.102)
Yes, Iâm out here.
Kimberly Snyder (15:41.426)
Thank you, V2!
Kris (15:52.514)
When I get overwhelmed, when I lose my passion, when I get bored, like, it is hard for me to gin up the inspiration to not only continue on my self-care path, but teach others.
Kimberly Snyder (16:04.701)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (16:10.927)
Yes.
Kris (16:12.074)
Right? And so when we go back to the simplest things, when it comes to our emotions, that first step is awareness, as you said so beautifully. And so can we begin our process of emotional literacy by even merely calling out and naming what the emotion is that youâre experiencing, as opposed to, I donât like how this feels. Thatâs great. Awesome. Wonderful start. Letâs go a little further. What is the feeling?
16:39 Naming and Feeling Emotions
Kimberly Snyder (16:39.066)
Mmm.
Kris (16:41.094)
And if you think about it with your children, I mean, theyâre going to immediately say, Iâm sad, Iâm angry. But as adults, we might have a hard time even identifying what the emotion is because we have been domesticated to push it away or to bury it or to make it less important, especially the emotions that my grandmother would call becoming. Thatâs the name of the chapter.
It is unbecoming to express anger, especially as a woman.
Kimberly Snyder (17:13.094)
Where is she from? Where did she grow up, Chris? Okay, okay.
Kris (17:15.65)
Columbia. Yeah. And it was a different time, right? So she would say, donât cry. Itâs not becoming. Donât show anger. Itâs not becoming. Well, where do those things go?
Kimberly Snyder (17:21.38)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (17:25.507)
8
Kimberly Snyder (17:29.619)
Wow. What? Exactly.
Kris (17:32.89)
I can tell you where they went. They went into drinking. They went into a lot of other places that were, I found to be outlets to discharge energy or sensations because I didnât know a healthier way to do it.
Kimberly Snyder (17:49.47)
Right, right. So then we acknowledge, here it is, and then feel, right? We have to actually go into it.
Kris (18:00.418)
Yeah, allow ourselves to feel those feelings. And sometimes they donât feel safe. And so you might wanna do them in a safe environment with somebody you trust, somebody you love, with your therapist. For me, it always starts in my journal. So identifying what it is and then just like brain dumping, however messy, whatever wants to come out, nobodyâs gonna read it, you can burn it, you can lock it away, you can, you know, do whatever you need to do, but to just likeâŚ
Kimberly Snyder (18:15.408)
Yes.
Kris (18:29.774)
process it on the page. And then from there, itâll usually go further. Iâll have a conversation with somebody that I trust, like my therapist or one of my healing practitioners that I work with of whatâs coming up for me in this time. But letâs go even further because I donât think we can always, and this is what the research says, we canât always solve the problems of the mind just with the mind. So just with talk therapy.
Kimberly Snyder (18:44.666)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (18:58.438)
Thank you, yes, I wholeheartedly believe that.
Kris (19:01.622)
Right? We have to get it out of our bodies. And thatâs where I t
More like this
Ep. 1023 | Optimizing your Preconception Health & Fertility with Dr Ann Shippy
Heart Healthy, Plant-Based Eating with Dr. Jenneffer Pulapaka [Ep. #1021]
Fawning: How We Can Lose Ourselves and How to Come Back with Dr. Ingrid Clayton [Episode #1018]
The Science of Longevity: Plaque Heart Scans, Cancer Screening, Glutathione & More with Dr. Julianna Lindsey [EP#1018]
Empowered Knowledge of Perimenopause for any Stage with Dr. Mariza Snyder [Ep. #1016]
Getting to the Root of Food and Other Addictions with Dr. Jason Giles [EP. #1015]
October Solluna Power Hour: Building Resilience & Strength Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually [Episode #1014]
Handling Anxiety & Conflict in Kids (and Humans!) with Connection with NYT Bestselling Author Alyssa Blask Campbell [Episode 1013]