Creating Meaningful Friendships and Life with Krista Williams [Episode #995]
This Week’s Episode Special Guest: Almost 30’s Krista Williams
In this engaging conversation, Krista Williams, co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and author of the book ‘Almost 30’, shares her journey of writing the book, navigating change, and embracing authenticity in relationships. The discussion delves into the importance of trust, vulnerability, and the role of money in our lives, as well as the impact of friendships on personal growth. Krista emphasizes that life is about becoming and that we should allow ourselves to be supported by the universe in our journeys.
About Krista Williams
Krista Williams is a content creator, author, and co-host of the successful “Almost 30” podcast. Known for her style and vibrancy, followers flock to Krista for dating, travel and self-care inspiration. Krista’s first book Almost30: A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond launched in June. Krista is one of the deepest, most curious minds, yet at the same time heart centered and intuitively led. As a multi passionate creator and life experimenter, Krista’s work includes The Life Edit, Metamorphosis, Modern Tarot, Spotify’s Top New Podcast, Morning Microdose and the #1 ranking Almost 30 Podcast. Krista has learned everything she teaches the hard way: by times of suffering allowing her to share embodied insights over commodified knowledge, and out of necessity, discovering the tools and research that transformed her life and got her to where she is today.
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Guest Resources
Book: Almost30: A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond.
Website: almost30.com
Social: Instagram: @itskrista 123K
Episode Chapters
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Krista Williams and Her Journey
02:18 The Decision to Write a Book
04:41 Understanding the Saturn Return and Life Changes
06:58 Embracing Change and Flexibility
08:48 Navigating Modern Dating and Authenticity
10:11 Solitude vs. Loneliness in Relationships
12:03 Reclaiming the Concept of God
14:01 The Importance of Trust in Relationships
17:29 Finding Beauty in Life’s Uncertainties
20:34 The Call of Your Soul and Personal Growth
22:54 Conflict Avoidance and Clearing Conversations
24:25 The Power of Clearing Conversations
27:34 The Importance of Friendships
30:30 Understanding Money and Abundance
40:41 Navigating Perfectionism and Self-Worth
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Transcript:
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (00:01.187)
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so excited for my very special guest here with us today. Ms. Krista Williams, who is a content creator, author, co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and her first book is out now called Almost 30, a definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. And also Krista is a dear friend of mine personally, we’ve known each other for years. So Krista, thank you so much for being back on the show with me. You’ve been on, but I think it’s been a couple years. So welcome back.
Bob (00:41.294)
Thank you. feels surreal to be talking to the master author herself, author of some of the best books, eight books, and be a first time author. So I feel really lucky and I feel really grateful because I know your audience is just incredible, so heartfelt and loving and open. And I feel so lucky to connect with them and share more about the book and more about some of the lessons and themes in it that I’m hopeful to be really supportive of for them.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (01:07.907)
You know, I remember we were on the same flight going to Mexico or wanderlust. I think it was last year, a year and a half ago. I flew only with Momo, my little one. And I remember distinctly waiting for our bags. And you started telling me that you were about to write the book or you were thinking about writing the book. And so was just that Genesis back then. I remember that spark was, was just being lit. So.
Bob (01:12.982)
Yes.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (01:38.145)
Tell us about the decision. As an author, it’s like very near and dear to my heart, the decision to actually put pen to paper, so to speak, writing. The written word is very different format of communication.
Bob (01:52.398)
Yeah, I remember meeting at the airport too and spending the best week with Momo in Mexico. And, you know, for anyone listening that has something to say or a story to tell or something they believe that should be heard, just encouraging them to start writing, to start doing, to put themselves out there. I was someone that for so long knew that there was a book inside of me, knew that there was a book inside Lindsay and I, but we just wanted the right time to come up. You know, I wanted to feel like…
I was the type of woman that could write the type of book that we wrote with almost 30. When we started the show, we were on our closet floors. We were at rock bottom. I felt so lost in life and I felt like I should have known more answers. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose and I would say I was at my worst. And through the years of doing the show, through the years of doing so much self-development work and deepening my spirituality and really coming back home to myself, I’ve really found out.
all of the ways in which you can really create and sculpt a life that you love, that have worked for myself, for my best friend and co-host, for some of the experts on the podcast and for some of our audience. And so I wanted to feel first, like I was ready. I wanted to feel secondly, like it was divinely guided and supported and the process of getting the book teal and writing the book was so divinely guided and supported. It was so stunning. And so, and then third, I wanted to feel like I really had something to say.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (03:11.629)
Yeah.
Bob (03:17.782)
I wanted to feel like the book was meaningful and I think there’s a lot of self-help books out there. There’s a lot of books that people tell you that you should read, that you have to read, and I’m not gonna tell you that you should read or have to read my book, but I wanted to actually feel like I as a reader would get as much value from it as the person would reading it. And so I really feel like all those things came together.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (03:35.48)
Hmm.
Beautiful. So I think for me picking up the book for the first time and maybe people listening to this Krista, it’s called Almost 30. Is this book for people almost 30 and you guys started the show at that, you know, around that point in your life and now, you know, many of us have crossed over 30. it’s relevant for, you know, women and people of any age and then we’ll
Bob (03:47.886)
It’s me.
Mm-hmm.
Bob (03:55.18)
Yeah.
Bob (03:59.711)
I myself have crossed that bridge. Yes.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (04:07.528)
into that, the Saturn return and that particular period.
Bob (04:11.694)
Yeah, so it is for anyone of any age. And the reason why it’s called Almost 30 is because the podcast Almost 30 that Lindsay and I do started when we were almost 30, when we were in this period of time called the Saturn Return. It’s a really important astrological transit that I wish I knew about when I was in my 27 to 30 year period. What happens during the Saturn Return is that astrologically Saturn, the planet revisits the same point in your natal chart as it was in the sky when you were born.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (04:41.059)
Mmm.
Bob (04:41.314)
And what this means plainly is that Saturn is the task master planet. So where each of the areas of your life that you’re living unaligned come up, they’ll be up for review. So say for an example, you’re in this period between 27 and 30, it’s around 29.5 years for most people. You are in a relationship that isn’t aligned with your soul, or you’re at a job that doesn’t let you up. During this time, you might break up with that person, you might leave your job, you might get fired. There’s a lot of change and transition that happens.
And it can be really scary and it can be really jarring or it can be really beautiful for you seeing your life as something that has a lot of opportunity and positivity and magic. And there’s a lot of really important decisions that happen in this period. So where there’s information that applies to this period, it’s not just for people in this period because we always go through change. We always go through a transition. We’re always evolving and we’re always becoming. And the lessons in, know, sections in this are around career.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (05:31.084)
Yes.
Bob (05:40.022)
around money, around nutrition and nourishment and the body. They’re around purpose and they’re around spirituality and search for meaning. And so the more important broader topics are topics we’ve talked about on the show over the past 10 years, but really the entry point is being in good relationship to change and really finding out who you are through the process.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (05:58.562)
Yes.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:02.157)
Beautiful and like you said, it is that particular moment in time, but there’s always ongoing change. remember that time and I was in New York and there’s a lot of changes going on and it was, you know, around when I started writing books and I well, I guess I started doing Korea yoga a little bit before that, but shortly after I moved to LA, but I have to say Krista since then having children and there’s been so many changes. So it really is.
Bob (06:11.469)
Mm-hmm.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:31.191)
you know, embracing that adaptability.
Bob (06:33.558)
Yeah, it’s huge. It’s one of the most important things we can be is flexible in life. It’s being really fierce about what we want and where we want to go and who we want to be, but being very flexible about how that comes. And when we can really apply flexibility to everything, to our spiritual practices, to our relationships, to our friendships, to our body, everything just gets better and easier and lighter. And we can not only love ourselves, but we can also love our life.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:38.071)
Yes.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:58.657)
Yes. And one of the things I love about how much you share and again, bracing change, and you’ve talked about this openly is, you know, with your dating life and your love life and you give talks at Bumble and you’ve done all these amazing, you give really amazing pieces of advice about being really authentic. Can you share a little bit, because I know we get a lot of questions about people feeling lonely, putting on masks when they’re on dating apps or trying to meet someone and actually,
Bob (07:24.27)
Yeah.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (07:27.361)
My husband’s friend was here the other day and he’s not from LA, Krista, and he’s so sweet and he’s like very good looking, like very successful guy. And he’s like on Raya and he’s on these dating apps and he’s like, it’s really lonely. You know, he said that he just doesn’t, he doesn’t want to just hook up, but there’s sort of like, I don’t know. He said, it’s just hard out there.
Bob (07:40.302)
Mmm.
Bob (07:47.586)
See ya.
Yeah, it is. It’s a very interesting place and just for background and reference for the audience. So I was married. I was in a relationship for 10 years and then I’ve been divorced for the past two years. I took a year off to heal and kind of recalibrate and then I entered the dating world, you know, in a totally different space and time with online dating and apps and matchmakers and all of these things. And so it’s been so eye opening and interesting. Yeah, there’s matchmakers too. Yeah.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:08.589)
Mm.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:14.083)
Let’s try the matchmaker.
Wow.
Bob (08:18.914)
So they’re in like a lot of big cities, but basically people, mostly men pay to be set up with women. And then these matchmaking sites have women as a part of their database. So they’ll approach women online or in person and have them apply to the database. And then you get set up with these men that are with matchmakers. So people, all of that to say with online dating, with matchmakers, with all of these things, people are really lonely and looking for connection. And it makes a lot of sense that we’re more connected than ever in the digital world.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:35.309)
Go.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:44.545)
Yeah.
Bob (08:48.622)
but yet we feel more alone. It can feel really lonely to be inauthentic when we’re online and feel like we have to present as perfect or wear a mask. It can feel really lonely to go to your job and feel like you can’t be yourself and you’re inauthentic. And so the more inauthentic we are and the more invitations for inauthenticity, the lonely we’re going to feel because we’ve lost connection to the true version of us. I know for me when I was in the corporate world for six or eight years,
I felt really lonely because I was being inauthentic all day. didn’t feel like I could be myself. I didn’t feel like I could be emotional or deep or curious or inquisitive or all the things that I love about myself. So I think there’s a few different things happening. There’s obviously the change of the landscape of dating where it’s more dopamine based, it’s more validation based, it’s very surface. It’s kind of hitting on people’s fears about love and relationships and people are really feeling like they’re struggling to find depth and.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (09:34.669)
Yeah.
Bob (09:42.378)
meaningful connection and intention because of the pace. And then I also feel like because there’s so much invitation with the online world to be out of our authenticity and to perform, people really don’t have enough time to connect with the truth of who they are and be themselves fully and completely. And I’ve found that there is such a difference between being lonely and solitude. And Jay Shetty talks about this, but when we have solitude, we’re really choosing to be with ourselves and create intentional relationship with ourselves.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (10:04.547)
Right.
Bob (10:11.98)
And then when we’re lonely, we’re almost feeling like we’re doing something wrong because we don’t have someone or we’re not with another person. And I’ve felt both experiences of both solitude and loneliness. And I know loneliness can be really hard, but I think what I seek to do the most is firstly with dating, I have the intention to just enjoy myself and have fun. I have the intention to meet people as they are. I’m not gonna meet every man and say, are you my husband? Are you gonna be the one that saves me? Are you gonna provide me with the life that I want?
I just want people to show up as themselves. I want to show up as myself. I think secondly, I don’t do online dating or apps. I found it to be interesting and fun, but I didn’t feel like the frequency and the pace really fit me. And I told God that he needs to bring men in another way and God’s been doing that. So I just had a clear conversation with God about what works for me and what doesn’t. And then third, think being really mindful about
the ways in which we’re closing our hearts repeatedly, know, and we’re kind of affirming these beliefs that we’re gonna be alone or that no one will find us and really continuing to have the hope that if God is the creator of earth and life and all things, that God can find the right person for you. And there can be that person that’s gonna be your perfect match. And lastly, really focusing on how you can feel really at peace and at home with yourself, even when you’re alone. Because I think no matter what in life, even if we have a partner or not, it’s really important that we cultivate and develop
a sense of peacefulness when we are by ourselves.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (11:38.339)
You know, there’s so much in that Krista, and I have to say, I love how clear you are in having that conversation with God. And I love how you use that word. I use it too. Yeah, you have sections in the book where you talk about really connecting to that, you know, that allness, that energy inside and around all things. Some people like to use the word spirit, creative source, universe, whatever it is, but we’re all talking about the same thing. And you
Bob (11:44.865)
Yep.
Bob (12:03.042)
Yeah, just to speak on that a little bit, just because I know for some people it can be triggering a little bit to hear the word God. You know, I was someone that grew up in the middle of Ohio and really conservative town and God for me was not a word I loved at all. was like, so like, if you would have heard me saying God, I’d be like, turn it off. Like so boring. Don’t like it kind of gave me just a feeling of constriction. And I almost had to reclaim the word God outside of religion and not allow.
the structures and places of religion to take away what I know to be God, which is a benevolent being that loves me and works with me and collaborates me and is in support of my dreams and desires and only wants the best for me. And whether people call it God or universe or Allah or source or a Tom, whatever people want to use is totally fine. And I think they should find what works best for them. But I really found in reclaiming the word God, it almost felt like an act of rebellion a little bit for me against the structures and ways that religion took away this connection to something.
that just loves us so deeply.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (13:02.167)
That’s right. You Yogananda uses that word a lot. And in terms of this underneath all the dogma and all the different ways and religions and paths up, there is that one source, that one love. And so, yeah, so I very much connect to that. And I got really clear too, Krista, when I had my breakup and you and I have talked about this a little bit, I didn’t want to go on dating apps. And the monk that from the Self-Realization Fellowship said, you know, just feel, just work on yourself, like connect.
So I read scriptures and meditated a lot and took care of Emerson, my older, for about eight or nine months. And then he also said to me, you know, your soulmate is like never far. Like the way, like, it’s like the circles are pretty close. And he just said, you know, just use your intuition and say yes to opportunities. So I remember this very interesting dinner party opportunity came up and I said, sure, why not? I don’t have other plans. And that’s when I met.
John, who you’ve met. And it really was our first year of marriage was, you most challenging and like working out, being together and trauma came up, but it really can with this consciousness and this connection that you’re talking about, it does get deeper and deeper and more and more amazing. Now we’re in six years of marriage. you’re on me love.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (14:29.023)
Opsies. Can you hear me?
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (14:37.687)
Hmm. We’ll edit this part out, of course, but the sound just went out. you just came back. You came back. don’t know what you just. Yes, it went away and then came back. Okay.
Bob (14:43.156)
I know that’s so weird. Let me see. Okay, perfect. Is it back?
Okay, good. Okay, good. Yeah, there’s two things I just want to say about what you just said, which are so beautiful. And the first is just to provide a little clarity on, you know, my conversation with God and, know, you can even provide yours because I think when people hear that they’re a little curious about what that conversation would be, especially if you’re someone that’s dating online or you want to find the person that you love. The way that I have a conversation with God like that is just getting really, really clear.
getting really, really quiet and speaking in a way that’s very directive of like, God, I’m available in service to you and I’m no longer gonna pursue the apps. Like, please bring them in another way. know, please bring in men another way. I’m available for karmic relationships. I’m available for my person. Like saying what I’m available for and not. And whether it’s God or just the universe sort of responding to you and co-creating with you, you can be in clear choice. And in this situation, I think what’s most important is that my energy behind it is
Truth and knowing and there’s no fear. I don’t feel scared to go back on the apps I don’t feel like there’s a Timeline where I’m gonna have to go back online and find someone so I think like you had such clarity and intention with your healing you were like I’m gonna heal I’m gonna focus on this and I’m gonna then also follow my intuition and be available for what’s possible There was no pressure. There was no forcing with any of it, which is so beautiful and I think when you put pressure on it and force it can make it hard and then
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (16:07.969)
Yes.
Bob (16:16.3)
Just briefly, a second thing, which I love that you brought up about how hard the first year of your marriage was, because I think as you get older and you start to date and get into relationships, it’s really beautiful because you know who you are, you know your preferences, you know what’s important to you, you have deep relationships. But what’s also hard is that you also have more fear. You could have more protection. You could have more protector parts and ways of being that could keep you out of really deep love and relationships. And so,
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (16:38.531)
Thank
Bob (16:44.362)
It can be really challenging at first when you commit to that new loving relationship because you’re going to have a lot of fears. Are they going to leave me? Are they going to abandon me? Are they going to cheat on me? Are they always going to do this thing? And you really actually have to work with a different set of things that come up when you’re older compared to when you’re younger.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (17:04.259)
And also just when you really do find that love, for me it was, you’re not playing it safe anymore, there’s a vulnerability because you really are open to this person potentially hurting you. And so for me, it was leaning into real trust, trust in God, trust in me, trust in my partner and trust in life. So you talk about all these subjects in the book, love, you talk about.
purpose and how family matters and I know you have really rich friendships and you travel all the time, would you say too, that heals the attachment that you’ve already been married, right? So it heals the attachment of like, have to get married again or like has to look a certain way. Cause I think that’s part of, you know, the expansiveness of life is sometimes it doesn’t always work out how we want it to be, but it can be amazing in many ways.
Bob (17:40.343)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Bob (17:55.062)
Yeah, I’m so grateful for all the things that haven’t worked out for me. I wouldn’t have the life that I have without it. And I think when we can kind of see things is that it can get so much more beautiful. An example is that I was married and I think there is one way to view it where it’s like, could have had kids with someone. I could have had the house. I could have had all the things, but it wouldn’t have been a life that would have felt good for me. And I know from leaving that relationship that
When we can choose what’s right for us and what’s intentional for us, our lives can get even better than we could have ever imagined. And when I left that relationship, I had no idea what would happen in my life. I had no idea if I would move, if I would find someone, if I would not find someone, if I would regret it. I just knew that it felt like the right decision for me at the time. And sometimes in life, the most beautiful paths are paths that we don’t know the destination to. We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t know where we’re being led.
We just have to follow where we’re being called. And when I’ve done that in my life, my life has gotten even better. And another example is with Lindsay and I, know, when we started the podcast in 2016, she was the perpetually single one. She was always single. She was single for seven years. I was in a really long-term relationship with my ex-husband and now she’s married in Brooklyn with a baby. I’m single in LA with no kids. Like what was thought to be my path is now her path and vice versa. And so,
Life just kind of throws things at you and takes you to where you need to go, even if you don’t know where you’re going at the time. And the more we can loosen the grip on this really small, defined idea we have of our lives and really expand into the belief that God has a better plan for us or universe has a better plan for us, the more magic we can allow in and the more miracles we can experience.
Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (19:41.635)
Yes, I think that really is the heart of connection, right? We’re so connected to the heart, to the true self. And then the attachments to this has to be a certain way and should be married by the time I’m 30. I should have a couple of kids by now, whatever it is. It loosens because the connection is always there. No matter what it looks like on the outside, it’s not gonna look like everybody else’s path and it’s okay.
Bob (20:04.844)
Yeah, think in your, a lot of the reason why we wrote Almost 32 was because in your 20s, know, up until your 26, from a brain science perspective, your prefrontal cortex hasn’t developed. So your prefrontal cortex is responsible for processing, for thinking into the future, for emotional regulation. So until that point, you’re actually working with an unconscious mind that’s really working on the programming from your parents, fro
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