Sometimes it feels like everyone’s coupled up, whether they’re in a budding new romance or they’ve been together what seems like forever. It’s easy to feel left out, but there are so many reasons why you don’t need a boyfriend. Sure, the companionship and romance are nice, but being in a relationship isn’t necessary for you to love your life right now.
You’re Already Complete
It’s nice to find someone to spend time with, who shares similar interests and makes you laugh, but don’t fall victim to the myth that you need someone to “complete” you. You’re already whole. You don’t have a missing half or a “better” half out there waiting for you.
When you find someone who complements the whole you, you may be able to build the relationship of your dreams with that person. Then you can enrich each other’s lives with new perspectives, new knowledge, and exposure to things you might not have found on your own.
You should want to be with someone because you truly love and support them and they truly love and support you, not cling to them simply out of fear that you’ll be incomplete without them.
Happiness Doesn’t Come from External Sources
Have you ever really wanted to buy something special, thinking you’d be so happy once you finally saved up enough money to have it, only to find that a few days after acquiring whatever it was, you felt just the same as you did before your big purchase? Have you ever felt a little down, taken a few minutes to practice gratitude for what you have and what you appreciate about yourself, and felt better almost immediately?
Happiness comes from the inside, not a new pair of designer shoes or a boyfriend.
I’m not saying that you’ll be sick of any boyfriend within a week and on the prowl for a new one, but you don’t need one to make you happy. Your happiness should never lie in someone else’s hands. It should never be someone else’s responsibility. Everything you need to be happy in life is already inside of you. It’s all in how you look at things, what you appreciate, and how you take time to realize yourself before you worry about being in a serious relationship with anyone else.
As a bonus, once you get into alignment with who you are and embrace your ability to make yourself happy, you’re more likely to be in a position to attract that boyfriend who will complement—not complete—you.
Tiny Buddha has 10 tips for living happy, wild, and free—and you don’t need a boyfriend for any of them.
You’re Free to Follow Your Own Path
What if you were in a serious relationship with a guy who, for whatever reason, could not pick up and move to another state or country, and you got the chance of a lifetime that would help you reach your goals, live your dreams, and really feel like you were fulfilling your destiny? As amazing as that opportunity sounds, you might still feel guilty for not taking it to stay with your boyfriend (and what if you broke up soon after the opportunity had passed?), or for taking it and leaving your boyfriend behind.
Don’t avoid having a loving, supportive relationship with someone if it truly feels right and you’re comfortable with who you are simply because some great opportunity might come along, but if you’re single, relish that feeling of having no strings, no stress, no guilt about exploring who you are and who you can become. One day you will have a boyfriend, and these opportunities to find out more about yourself will help you know which boyfriend is right for you. You’ll be more self-confident and you’ll have a ton of amazing stories to share with him.
Making Healthy Lifestyle Changes May Be Easier
It isn’t impossible to start a healthier lifestyle when you’re in a relationship, but it can definitely be harder if he’s not ready to commit to making better choices right along with you. If you and a boyfriend typically go out for a laidback evening of wings and beer at a local restaurant, it’ll feel a lot weirder to say, “Let’s stay in and have soup and salad and drink some tea later,” or, “Let’s try that new vegan restaurant” to him than it would to just tell yourself that’s what you’re going to do.
Just as some people say it’s easier to stick to a workout routine if you have a buddy waiting to work out with you, it’s also easier to stick to bad habits when they’re built into a relationship unless both people want to change.
When you’re living with a boyfriend and they’re bringing in cookies or chips to snack on (or maybe they’re even offering to make you pancakes and coffee for breakfast), that also makes it more challenging to stick to your goals. Again, it can be done, but if you already have your habits and lifestyle in place before you start dating, you’re probably not going to start a tradition that doesn’t serve you (or him), like wings and beer.
Take your time to become who you want to be, develop healthy habits and a lifestyle you’re proud of, and you’re less likely to be influenced by a boyfriend who doesn’t eat the same way you do when you do start dating someone. In fact, you may even influence him.
You Have More Time to Develop Good Relationships with Yourself and Friends
Relationships of all types are important, and it’s easy to skip hanging out with your girlfriends or doing a little much-needed soul-searching when you’re distracted by a new boyfriend. This is especially important during times of transition, like after high school or college when you and your friends are all going your separate ways—going to new schools or taking new jobs in other cities or states.
When everything is settled, you may find yourself looking for a new set of girlfriends where you live, and feeling obligated to spend all or the majority of your free time with a guy won’t allow you the time to build loving, trusting relationships with girlfriends. A boyfriend may feel like all you need at the time, but if you break up, who’s going to come over and cheer you up?
Maybe you’ve been avoiding really digging in to figure out what you want out of life and how to get there, going from one distraction to the next because it’s easier than being honest with yourself and diving into what might be a lot of really hard work and a true exercise in focus. A boyfriend will be an easy distraction, whether he’s the right one for you or not. And you won’t truly know if he’s right if you don’t sit still and just be with yourself to design your path in life, figure out what’s important to you, and get comfortable in your own skin.
There are definite reasons why you don’t need a boyfriend in your life. Having one won’t complete you, make you happy, give your life purpose, or turn you into who you’re supposed to be. All of that is up to you. Don’t focus on feeling like you “need” someone else to fill in the gaps in your life; a relationship built out of fear and a feeling that you’re lacking something probably won’t be the healthiest one. Focus on yourself first. When the one who will support and love you through a portion or even the rest of your personal journey shows up, you’ll be able to recognize him.