How To Get Back Into A Healthy Routine [Episode #424]
Welcome to the Feel Good Podcast with Kimberly Snyder. Our goal is to help you be your most healthy, confident, beautiful and joyful! Our topics focus on health and wellness (physical, emotional/mental and spiritual), holistic nutrition, medicinal plants, natural rhythms and cycles, beauty, meditation, self care and rituals, spirituality and personal empowerment.
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Thursday is our community show, where I cover a themed topic and answer four questions that come right from members of our community, just like you! We are here to support you in living your most beautiful, inspired and joyful life.
I’m your host, Kimberly Snyder, founder of Solluna, New York Times best-selling author and nutritionist. I’m so grateful and honored we found each other!
This week’s topic is: How To Get Back Into A Healthy Routine
Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!
My question is, how can I manifest positive things when I’m under significant financial debt for the first time in my life? I’m suddenly doing all the frugal things I can, tracking spending, and planning, so I feel okay about the technical side of paying it off… but I’m worried about the emotional swings that keep happening for me around it?
Galina – Germany
I started university two years ago and had to leave many things behind. I also work 45-50 hours a week. It feels like I never get to my training and cooking healthy as I did before. I barely take holidays because I have so much to do. I feel stuck in a circle I can’t get out of. Is there a way I can slowly start getting my healthy routine back?
Connie – New York
My husband and I are about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary and I’m still having a hard time dealing with the struggles from his mom and sisters. They are so rude and disrespectful to me and don’t acknowledge me as part of their family. My husband has talked to them numerous times about their behavior, but they just brush it off. I simply cannot ignore their judgment. Do you have any tips or suggestions to help me remove this heavy, dark layer that sits on me every day?
Roxanna – Philippines
I love your podcast and all of your positive advice! The other day I was with two friends who told me that because my son is dairy-free and plant-based that no one is going to want to invite him for lunch and that I should change his diet and it was horrible! I tried to respond but they kept telling me off. What do you suggest we do in these situations?
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Kimberly Snyder: Hi Beauties, and welcome back to our Thursday Q & A podcast. We are so excited for our topic today, which is how to get back into a healthy routine. And some of you may think, “Oh, it’s funny to bring up this topic now right before Thanksgiving and the holidays,” but what I have found is that over the years it’s a really great time to think about routine actually before we get into the full swing of the holidays so we don’t feel that we’ve gotten so far off that it’s such a huge effort to get back on the wagon. And it’s these simple little everyday things that we can incorporate that can just help us feel really, really good in our bodies, in ourselves, and will actually help us enjoy the holidays even more. And again, we don’t feel like we strayed so far that we have to play catch up so much, which just feels like a much bigger effort in the end.
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Kimberly Snyder: So I’m really excited about this topic today, we’re going to get into all these little tips and practices and again, small, simple steps that you can do everyday just to feel that you’re on a routine, you’re on a rhythm and your body and your digestion and your skin and everything will benefit. Before we dive in, I just want to give a quick reminder to please leave us a review on iTunes. It’s one of the only asks I have for you guys for this show. It’s just a beautiful energy exchange. We love to provide the show for free and give you guys all this information. We love to support each other. We think that’s why we’re here, but if you guys could just take a moment or two to leave a review. It’s super easy guys. It’s free, and it’s just a really great way to help other people find the show.
Kimberly Snyder: You and I both know how important reviews are these days, so if you could just take a moment to do that from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. And also while you’re at it, you could also be sure to subscribe to our show. Back to this idea of rhythm, I think steadiness in our lives is a really important form of just… We talk about ongoing cleansing and rhythm, and it’s important have that self care and that ongoing inspiration, that injection of just feeling motivated. And the podcast is a really great way to help you do that so that way you never miss a Monday interview or a Thursday podcast.
Kimberly Snyder: That being said, I have our lovely Katelyn on the line with us. She is our general manager of Solluna. She and I have been together since the inception of our podcast some years ago, and I am so excited to talk to her today. She was with me last week for almost a whole week, right Kay?
Kimberly Snyder: And it was lovely to be in person and Katelyn got to see my new home in the mountains. What do you think Kay?
Katelyn: Yes. Hi beauties, and I had a great time in LA on beautiful landscape up in the mountains. It’s very different from where I live on Long Island where it’s very flat. Driving up the hill to Kim’s house was a challenge for me. I’m not used to those types of roads, but it’s absolutely stunning and beautiful and very calming. Jealous that you’re there and I’m back here. Talking about getting back into a healthy routine, this is perfect topic. I myself am doing this, just getting back home from traveling and trying to get back into a flow of things. I think we’ll have a good solid conversation today around this.
Kimberly Snyder: And I will say that it’s easy to get thrown off routine when we eat out a lot. And one thing we did do, Kay, last week was we ate home a lot. And I know that’s not always possible when there’s a lot of parties and a lot of get togethers, but I think if you can ever create the option, it’s either, I make a simple meal, or I run out and just get takeout. You can make a simple meal double and then have leftovers for another meal. We start to feel more in control because we know what’s in the food. It can be super simple, but we keep it organic. We keep it with the right oils, properly combined, whatever it is. I was feeling really off the week before, Kay, because we were still in moving mode, and I was just eating out a lot.
Kimberly Snyder: And last week when we ate at home more, I just felt so much better in my body and it was some of the same stuff. I’d make a wrap versus buying a wrap out. Some of this stuff was pretty comparable, but it made a big difference in how I felt for sure.
Katelyn: Yeah, that’s a great tip to kick off the start of the show for sure when you can create that balance of eating at home. I too, had been eating out a whole bunch, and since coming back I’ve been trying to make some of those easy dishes that we were making, like the one-pot stews and kitcherees and wraps, and we can link to some of those recipes in today’s show notes for you beauties that are looking to kick off maybe a little at home cooking, especially now that it’s starting to get cooler, and maybe we don’t want to run out and we start to turn inward during this time of the year.
Kimberly Snyder: Exactly, exactly.
Question 1: How can I manifest positive things when I’m under significant financial debt for the first time in my life? I’m suddenly doing all of the frugal things I can, tracking spending and planning, so I feel okay about the technical side of paying it off, but I’m worried about the emotional swings that keep happening for me around it.
Katelyn: Okay. Let’s jump into Sarah’s question, who’s is living in New York, New York. My question is-
Kimberly Snyder: Hey, your neighbor [inaudible 00:06:08].
Katelyn: Yeah. Just about 50 miles away. We have Sarah here and she’s asking, “My question is how can I manifest positive things when I’m under significant financial debt for the first time in my life? I’m suddenly doing all of the frugal things I can, tracking spending and planning, so I feel okay about the technical side of paying it off, but I’m worried about the emotional swings that keep happening for me around it.”
Kimberly Snyder: Hmm. This is an interesting question. Thank you so much Sarah, and it’s ironic that you are from New York because when I was living in New York and I had just gotten back from my around the world journey, I was broke. I had spent all my money and I remember walking around the city and I tell the story to Kay sometimes, but my lunch sometimes would be three oranges because I could get three for a dollar from those fruit stands. And I had read a study somewhere that oranges are the fruit that keep you full the longest.
Katelyn: Oh wow.
Kimberly Snyder: So I know. And I had too much pride to ask my parents for money because I had insisted on going on this big trip and everybody was like, “Oh maybe you shouldn’t go so long.” So I just didn’t want to come crawling back. So I had to hustle and get over that. But I know what it’s like to have financial stress and I do know that it can be very, very, very stressful and it’s on your mind. And I remember I had trouble sleeping, so I get it and it’s tough. So I will say I want to applaud you, Sarah, for doing tracking and spending and the practical side of things. I will say from a healthy routine standpoint, it’s a great idea to plan ahead with your food, with your menu planning to get things in bulk.
Kimberly Snyder: For instance, I just, right before I came on the podcast, I opened a box I ordered online. I got this enormous 54 ounce tub of coconut oil that I got for $17, it’s organic. But I know if I go to Whole Foods and I get a tiny little coconut oil, it’s like $11, that’s like whatever, 10 ounces or whatever it is. So I think planning ahead is a great way to reduce stress so you don’t feel, again, stressed, starving, in a bind. It’s a really great idea to always carry around a stainless steel water bottle so you never get into a bind where you’re thirsty and you have to waste money on bottled water and all the plastic anyway, to get a filter and to… That will save you a lot of money in the end.
Kimberly Snyder: Meal planning is really important, this is a great time to… I know our 30 day healthy roadmap is all done with pretty inexpensive foods. So if you look at that or just look at our recipes, kitcheree for instance, a lot of the meals we make with just veggies and lentils, which are a couple dollars, a pound. If you could plan things out a little bit further ahead, you won’t get into that bind. And that’s the way you can bring your own snacks, bring your own meals and lunch to work or whatever you need to do and to get ahead that way. So that’s the practical side. That’s the step-by-step things that you have to take to get things in order and create, as you said, a payback plan.
Kimberly Snyder: But beyond that, this is where the mind can start to take over. And this is where the monkey mind, no, the Buddhist call it the monkey mind, where we have these thought patterns and just go in a circle, in a circle and we start to worry about money or am I going to find the right partner or am I going to find the right job or whatever. And that worry really does create an energy field. Everything is energy. This is basic quantum physics. People can feel that energy field and it actually is a certain vibration that I actually believe does attract like energy. So a lot of times we can manifest what we’re worried about and it’s not bringing us more good, it can actually bring more of what we don’t want. So this is really important, Sarah, to just dial in your thoughts. You said emotional swings, our third Solluna cornerstone of true beauty here is emotional wellbeing, goes food, body, emotional wellbeing and spiritual growth.
Kimberly Snyder: So emotions can really impact our health. They can impact bloating and inflammation and our sleep and our skin. So here’s where you have to dial in your mind. And this is where it’s really helpful to get things on paper. I remember we had our podcast recently with Dr. Michael Bruce, the sleep doctor, and he said one of the best cures for insomnia he’s seen is writing down your worries in a journal an hour or two before bed so they get out of your head onto paper and then you could have a good night of sleep. So I will just say, Sarah, if you need to get more… When I was financially stressed, I did a lot of journaling and I would just write out what I was worried about. I would go over my plans, I would go over my budget, I would just look at things, it would help me feel better.
Kimberly Snyder: So that’s just a practical way to help emotionally soothe yourself. And then as far as rhythm, our theme here to have that morning rhythm of self care, centering, breathing, meditation in the morning, hot water with lemon and same thing in the evening. Hot elixir, soothe yourself, do that journaling, take a hot shower and do more meditation at night even if it’s brief, however much time you can carve out for it. But consistency is important and that will really help. And then you will get past this period, you will feel great, you will feel strong in your body and then you can move forward in your life with a really healthy mindset and body as well.
Katelyn: I agree. Finances can definitely be stressful added on top of all the other things in life. So those were great tips. I know I spend a lot of money eating out. That was a good point to bring up for Sarah and anybody who’s trying to save money can definitely save a lot by making your meals at home. That’s something I am trying to practice myself as I’m trying to get a bit of savings going too.
Kimberly Snyder: Yeah, and it’s sort of like if you, we should link in the show notes, Kay, to the podcast we did with Matthew and Terces and Lil Hart who started Cafe Gratitude and they talk about gratitude as such a powerful energy for bringing more in. So they talk about starting their restaurants and there’d be like one customer and instead of obsessing over it and obsessing over how much debt they had and how little money they had, they would be grateful for that customer and they would be grateful for the money coming in. And they were able to just with that pulling in energy, just grow, grow, grow this empire and now they’re enormously financially abundant.
Kimberly Snyder: So I think it’s important to get it out, to not obsess, and then to let go as much as possible, get into a peaceful state. So again, we don’t obsess over the things that we don’t want.
Katelyn: That’s true. I love the concept of gratitude, especially here in November when people do start to turn in more and the holidays come and we start to think about what we’re grateful for and starting it now and carrying that theme throughout the year and how it can really have positive effects on your life. So we’ll definitely link to Dr. Michael Bruce’s podcast and the other podcast you just mentioned about gratitude. So we can have both those for you guys to tune in if you’ve missed them.
Kimberly Snyder: Great.
Question 2: I started university two years ago and I had to leave many things behind. I also work 45 to 50 hours a week. It feels like I never get to my training and cooking and healthy things as I did before. I barely take holidays because I have so much to do. I feel stuck in a circle I can’t get out of. Is there any way I can slowly start to get my healthy routine back?
Katelyn: Okay. Let’s go to Galena‘s question, who’s living in Germany. “I started university two years ago and I had to leave many things behind. I also work 45 to 50 hours a week. It feels like I never get to my training and cooking and healthy things as I did before. I barely take holidays because I have so much to do. I feel stuck in a circle I can’t get out of. Is there any way I can slowly start to get my healthy routine back?”
Kimberly Snyder: Galena, this is a great question and thank you so much for sending in your question. Sending you a big hug over to Germany. I think that this is very, very common for a lot of us unfortunately, where we get into this mode of working all the time and maybe for some of us it’s working in school, like your fiance, Kay, I know has a lot of that. Or maybe it’s working and being a mom like for me or maybe it’s just working a lot or whatever it is. But I think it’s really easy to get into filling our lives so much that we throw ourselves into last place and self care starts to feel like, oh my God, I just never do that or it’s like once in a while and then we progressively start to feel more and more in a rut.
Kimberly Snyder: So I think it’s really important, Galena, to incorporate what I was talking about first, which is very small, tiny little micro-steps that we can start to do throughout the day that will help us feel more rooted and more anchored in ourself. So one thing I mentioned in our last question to Sarah is just drinking hot water with lemon. It takes about two minutes to make in the morning. And even if it’s while you’re getting ready for work, even if you’re doing other things, it’s such a great way to start the day because you know you’re doing something so good for yourself. You don’t have to shop all the time. You could get a bag of lemons for like, I don’t know how much it is in Germany, but a couple of dollars over here and just squeeze half a lemon into hot water. Starting the day with vitamin C and enzymes is something really great for your liver.
Kimberly Snyder: So you’re giving yourself just that constant love in the morning. And if you could take the SBO probiotics, a huge part of wellness, and I’ve been talking about this for years, I’m like, I was telling you about this like 10 years ago even though good health is really trending now, take your probiotics. When your gut is healthy, your digestion will function better, you’ll have better immunity, your whole skin, your day will be better for sure. So you want to make sure you’re taking care of your gut. Now, Galena, I know you’re working a lot. I assume, but I’m not sure if you’re working Monday through Friday, so this would be a really important time for you to take a couple hours on the weekend, maybe Sunday to batch cook, to make smoothies ahead of time. You can freeze some of them to make big stews, soups, salad dressings, anything that you can store and use consistently during the week.
Kimberly Snyder: Put on some music and just prepare for the week. It’s really important, as I said earlier, to make some of your own food. It can be really, really simple, simple salad dressing, simple sauces. It will help you feel better throughout your routine and throughout your week. Now at the end of the day, Galena, because you’re working so much and because you’re in university, I do think it’s important that you have some way to soothe your nervous system before you go to bed. So if you can make another even lemon ginger tea, which is a great digestive tea or some sort of elixir to calm down, just take a moment to breathe. You’re so busy and we don’t want you going to bed tense and revved up with your adrenals overworking and all the cortisol and the hormones just raging in your system and not really having deep restful sleep, which you need for your health.
Kimberly Snyder: So just having a little evening routine as well. Like I said, if you’re too busy to buy a bunch of ingredients, you could just make that same lemon tea, lemon ginger tea, very, very simple. Or cinnamon tea or something in the evening. Calm down, take a moment to breathe, maybe take a hot shower, wash the day off. And then as far as training, I just think, we did this interesting podcast that’s coming up, actually we haven’t aired it, but with Dan Buettner on the blue zones. And he was talking about people in the blue zones not exercising but just simply being active. So I know that you’re busy working and I don’t know if you have a desk job, but if you can try to be more active, walk more to work or part of the way to work or take a walk at lunch or walk to get errands, be active around the house.
Kimberly Snyder: It doesn’t mean you have to set aside just an hour or two just to go to the gym or you do nothing. I’m a huge walker and right now I’m so busy, I’m not even doing my full beach walks every morning, Kay. But I’ll try to do like you and I did when we were here, some walks or walk around the neighborhood here and there and I’m just active around the house and maybe it’s not ideal. I would of course, love to get to a yoga class one day or do my full beach walk everyday. But it’s not always possible when we’re busy. But those little walks, those little things in between help me feel like I’m keeping it going.
Katelyn: Yeah. I was reading something just yesterday that talked about even just walking for 15 minutes a day really helped improve mood and give you just a little bit more energy and feel better and boost your dopamine. I was doing a little bit of reading yesterday so I agree with when you don’t have time, there’s been times in my life, even though I tend to be more active, that I haven’t had time to go to the gym or really do much training. And as Kimberly is mentioning, her primary form of exercise is walking and I really think it’s great. Where before I used to be like, “Oh no, I have to go to the gym,” but just even getting a walk, and I agree, feels amazing.
Katelyn: And just taking that time for myself, I’ve been trying to do lately, because when all you do is either work or go to school, then you start to really feel run down. Taking that 15 or 30 minutes for yourself will improve the rest of your day. I really believe we’re more productive and get more done when we move our bodies.
Kimberly Snyder: For sure. It brings more oxygen and blood flow to your brain and we don’t feel sluggish. When we feel sluggish in our body, we feel it in our mind. And so yeah, these mini walks, mini meditations, these little steps really do keep us going through the day. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
Kimberly Snyder: Sorry, I sound a little nasally guys. I do have a little congestion. Bobby has got a little bit of a running nose. He picked it up at preschool. So I know I sound like a Snuffaluffagus today a little bit.
Katelyn: Oh, you’re fine. And the show must go on. So we’re glad that you’re here even though you have a little bit of congestion. No worries there.
Kimberly Snyder: Yeah. It happens to all of us.
Katelyn: Yes, for sure. I’m sure the beauties prefer this opposed to us, I mean, we’ve, I think rarely ever missed a show since we started in 2015.
Kimberly Snyder: Oh, amazing.
Katelyn: So we’re here rain or shine.
Kimberly Snyder: Amazing.
Katelyn: All right, beauties. Well, with that, we will let Kimberly take a short break and then she’ll be back to answer the last two questions.
Kimberly Snyder: All right beauties. We are back from our break and we have two more questions for you guys on how to get back into a healthy routine. And again, we wanted to bring this topic up before Thanksgiving here in the U.S. Before the holidays for all of us, all of you listening all around the world because we don’t want to fall so far off physically, diet wise, emotionally, spiritually, whatever, so that we feel like is this huge effort to get back on. We want to keep things going. It’s like our skin. We want to keep our skin going. We want to take care of our skin every day. So one day we don’t look at our skin and we’re like, Oh my God, my skin looks awful after years and years of abuse. So just these little things that we do consistently make a huge difference in how we feel and how we look.
Question 3: My husband and I are about to celebrate our one year anniversary and I’m still having a hard time dealing with the struggles from his mom and sisters. They are so rude and disrespectful to me and don’t acknowledge me as part of their family. My husband has talked to them numerous times about their behavior, but they just brush it off. I simply cannot ignore their judgment. Do you have any tips or suggestions to help me remove this heavy dark layer that sits on me every day?
Katelyn Hughes: 100% and it leads us into 2020 feeling our best already versus trying to pick up the pieces. I know I’ve done that some years where I just kind of go out of control for the holidays and I really feel like garbage come the new year. So this year, especially since I’m getting ready for my wedding, I’m trying to keep things together and feel my best because I only have til February. Okay beauties. So let’s jump into Connie‘s question. Who’s also living in New York. “My husband and I are about to celebrate our one year anniversary and I’m still having a hard time dealing with the struggles from his mom and sisters. They are so rude and disrespectful to me and don’t acknowledge me as part of their family. My husband has talked to them numerous times about their behavior, but they just brush it off. I simply cannot ignore their judgment. Do you have any tips or suggestions to help me remove this heavy dark layer that sits on me every day?”
Kimberly Snyder: Connie, thank you so much for your question. I think that we, most all of us have dealt with some difficult relatives or maybe a friend of a friend that didn’t really get us or just someone in our life, a coworker or whatever that was kind of not our vibe. And so I will just say that this… The way I can feel the energy of your question, what concerns me is that it’s having such an effect on you and your healthy routine and your ability to focus on yourself and your relationship with your husband. It’s amazing that you’re about to celebrate your one year anniversary. You guys are still in honeymoon phase. We can’t control where people are in their journey. And a lot of times when people have a hard time with us, it’s just, I mean it’s just really something going on with them.
Kimberly Snyder: Unless we have intentionally done something hurtful or said something hurtful, we clean it up and we apologize and whatever, acknowledge it and then move on. But if that’s not the case, Connie, and they’re just not accepting of you for whatever reason, I really suggest not feeding it with worry and not just kind of slinking and being meek around them, which could invite more of their aggression if they’re projecting their own anger and you’re just unfortunately like an outlet for them to dump on. That’s really not acceptable. So I just think it’s really important that you don’t obsess about it. Like we were talking about with Sarah, just like the financial thing can be like, Oh, this person doesn’t like me and you obsess and you obsess. I know it’s so hard if it’s their family, but if there’s really nothing that you have done and anything you can do practically, like apologize or clean anything up, if there’s nothing like that, then you really just have to hold your own space.
Kimberly Snyder: You have to let it go. You have to focus on you and your husband. Then just like the letting go book talks about this topic. It says don’t not like them back because if you just send them love and just, you know, which is really hard sometimes if someone’s mean to you, but if you just come from that space of neutrality, he says energetically it just bounces off you and boomerangs back to them. If you meet it with anxiety, a feeling bad or not liking them back, then it just becomes this energy brew where more and more of it is created. So I know this isn’t easy, but the more you can not focus on them, the more you can just do your own thing. Hang out with loving you, supporting supportive people, your own circle of friends and loved ones and just be kind and polite to them when you’re around them.
Kimberly Snyder: It’s just, I for sure have had struggles with family members who shall remain unnamed. But honestly if I have to see them at family gatherings or functions, I just say hi and I smile and then they’re not going to be my besties. Some of them are just kind of not happy and angry at a lot of people, are just mean to a lot of people and I know that so you just have to know if they’re acting that way with you, they’re probably acting like that with a lot of people in their life. Unfortunately you’re this projection of it. It’s just important for you to stay grounded and rooted in yourself. This is where, every day we talk about these little everyday things that you can do. Tumeric comes to mind for me, like some of these really supportive spices that are anti-inflammatory.
Kimberly Snyder: These emotions of feeling pain and not liked can actually work to be inflammatory in the body and we hold onto that. Now. That was some of the research I had from my last book, Recipes for Your Perfectly Imperfect Life. So having tumeric in your cooking, making golden milk, which is basically there’s different versions. You could do turmeric, a little bit of black pepper, cinnamon, ginger, whatever, something like that with almond milk. Connie, would be very grounding for you. When you start to feel stressed from them, add some of that golden milk, which will make you just feel more grounded in and of yourself. Also, some bean stews like a minestrone soup or something like that just feels comforting. You can’t control the outside, but you can start to feel comforted within your own body. You deserve to feel good within your own body.
Kimberly Snyder: So hot drinks, elixirs, the golden milk, bean stew are really wonderful things to add in right now and more of these spices, like star anise, cardamom. Cumin is really great for digestion. Sometimes doing, we don’t understand why someone doesn’t like us. It’s like we can’t digest that and it can actually affect our physical digestion. So this is a very, it’s a big concept for a lot of us to think, oh my God, our emotions affect our body and our digestion so much. But guess what guys? It’s true and we’re finding that more and more in research. So if it just feels like I can’t digest that, they don’t like me. Again, ginger and cumin are some really great foods to make sure you’re having because they are digestive aids and they actually help your gut and they help your body digest your food just to keep yourself grounded into a healthy routine while you’re dealing with familial issues and qualms.
Kimberly Snyder: Connie, don’t let the stress get to you so that you start stress eating and you let dairy creep in this time of year that would be very clogging to your body, especially right now. So we try to eat clean, try to take care of yourself so you feel strong and in your fullest energy and we talked about walking, just staying active right now, having a lot of fiber, fiber is going to feel really great and cleansing. So make sure you’re eating all your veggies, all your seasonal veggies. Squash soup is also really great right now cause all the ginger in your squash soup like I do and just go forward and be true to yourself and hold your head high.
Katelyn Hughes: Such great advice. It can be so hard, especially with family and loved ones and just wanting them to love you back the way you love them and not getting that received, receiving that energy can be extremely difficult. So I think those were some amazing tips to bring, especially as the holidays come up and we’re more likely to be around family than say other times of the year. So it might just be more in the forefront for people who struggle with, with this, whether it’s with friends or family.
Kimberly Snyder: So, okay. I know you’re very sensitive to, I’m an empath, so if somebody doesn’t like you, and I know you said your husband’s, fiance’s family likes you. So it’s not necessarily like that, but if there’s like a friend or someone in your running club or anyone, I mean, nobody likes everybody, right? We all have people that don’t like us.
Katelyn Hughes: Oh yeah. No, 100% yeah. For me, I struggle because I have my perfectionism and people pleasing and I would put my value, Oh, if somebody doesn’t like me, that means like I’m not good enough. And I would totally fall to pieces. So over the years through self reflection, I just have learned that try to teach myself that I still have value no matter what anybody else thinks of me. Or even if I make a mistake or I make somebody upset, it doesn’t mean that I’m not a good person or I’m not enough that they kind of just have to repeat that to myself because a lot of times if somebody were to get upset with me, I would just fall to pieces and think I’m the worst person in the world and I’m just having more, working on my self esteem has really helped with that.
Katelyn Hughes: My like doing my own internal work. So now if there’s somebody who doesn’t like me or there’s maybe something that happens with a friend, I tried to… It’s still gets to me. Of course, I’d be lying if I would say, Oh yeah, it’s so easy. I just do the microsteps and I’m okay, but I think it is journaling for sure.
Katelyn Hughes: I try to journal what happened? What was my role? What could I control? What couldn’t I control? And then just let it be and if it’s something that requires an apology for me, once I’ve apologized, then I just let it go because there’s nothing else I could do if the other person wants to hold on to their resentment or they are not over it yet. Again, like to the perfectionism, I can’t control that person. So I try to just remove myself from the situation. But this is affects me a lot because I do tend to be more sensitive to people’s energies and it’s something I’ve had to work on professionally and in my personal life to kind of move through life in an easier way that doesn’t feel so burdensome to myself.
Kimberly Snyder: Yeah. It’s within ourselves. Everybody’s a mirror. Everybody reflects back to us and we can’t control what everybody else is doing. But we can use that as a mirror to think within ourselves and to go within and to try it no matter what. Realize we don’t need the validation of anyone else. Even, Connie, other family members, like even them. And just realize we become the sanctuary to ourselves and we find our groundedness within ourselves.
Question 4: I love your podcast and all of your positive advice. The other day I was with two friends who told me that because my son is dairy free and plant based, that no one is going to want to invite him for lunch and then I should change his diet. And it was horrible. I tried to respond, but they kept telling me off. What do you suggest we do in these situations?
Katelyn Hughes: Yes, a hundred percent just knowing we did the best we could, we were polite and loving and open to the best level that we can be. And then if it’s not received, at least we offered it and we’re putting our arm out in extension to somebody else. If they’re not ready to take our hand, there’s nothing we could do. So I felt that those are definitely good tips. So, all right, we’re heading to the last question. We have Roxanna from the Philippines. “I love your podcast and all of your positive advice. The other day I was with two friends who told me that because my son is dairy free and plant based, that no one is going to want to invite him for lunch and then I should change his diet. And it was horrible. I tried to respond, but they kept telling me off. What do you suggest we do in these situations?”
Kimberly Snyder: Oh my gosh. So Roxanna, first of all, [foreign language 00:13:41] . My mother is from the Philippines. I’m half Filipina. I’m not sure you are aware, but I am very, I have a very special place in my heart for the Philippines. I have been several times. So sending you so much love across the ocean to this incredible island country. I love it! Now, back to this. Okay, so here’s what we were just talking about. This is about one’s diet versus just in general, I don’t like you. Healthy routine. You are heading your family, and you’re taking care of your son and your family and what feels right to you and that is the routine that you are on, and you stick to that routine. And if there are friends that are sensitive about that, they’d have a problem. Honestly, that is their problem.
Kimberly Snyder: I don’t have a problem when people eat dairy around me. That’s how they want to feed their kids and they are cool with that and they don’t want to hear me preach about it. I am not going to push on them what to do. If someone’s pushing or makes those kinds of comments. They’re either really insecure or they don’t feel good about what they’re doing, or they’ll feel good in themselves. Because if you feel good about yourself, you don’t judge what other people are doing. You don’t give a crap what other people are doing, you’re just focused on yourself. So I would just say, do not worry, Roxanna. In that case, I just keep it… I changed the subject. I just say, well, this is what feels best to us. Or you could even say, you know, this is best for us digestion wise because it’s true, right?
Kimberly Snyder: We know that dairy is not a great thing for humans and children to digest in general across the board. There are so many amazing alternatives without any of the potential issues and digestive issues. As an aside, we’ll keep talking about this. I just read an incredible study and Dr. Neil Bernard’s upcoming book, a hormone book about fertility, and it was talking about dairy and how it actually does something to the eggs in women’s body. It’s really bad for fertility. So that’s not a very specific way of talking about it, I don’t have the study right in front of me, but we’ll talk about an upcoming show, but I’m just saying the point is there’s more and more and more research emerging about the detrimental effects of dairy. Now some people are more educated, some people are not as educated. It is not our job to educate our friends and if they are in that place where they’re attacking you, you just have to say, Hey, digestion wise, health wise, we have some digestion stuff going on and this is how we have to eat and we’re happy at parties to bring a dish to share.
Kimberly Snyder: Just move on. You know, don’t try to fight with them, don’t try to explain to them what you’re doing because clearly they may not be ready to hear. What you don’t want to do is to get into that big sort of discussion. Just keep it super mild, don’t match the energy and then just stay on your routine. Just do your thing, Roxanna. It’s amazing to be plant based in the Philippines. I know there’s a lot of pork and a lot of animal food going on over there. So I applaud you so much. You are doing something amazing for you and your family and the environment and the world. So keep on going, mama, you are amazing. Make your food, do your thing, social situations, maybe bring a dish to share. Just veer that subject away from those frenemies because they have no right to comment on what you are feeding your son. It is actually none of their business. And to be mean to someone about how they’re feeding their children is just unacceptable.
Katelyn Hughes: 100% I don’t have kids yet, but from my friends and from being with you, Kay, raising children is very difficult. It’s hard enough without everybody’s opinion. So we support you, Roxanna, and all the other mamas listening, and we’re here to support you. So that was great.
Kimberly Snyder: I mean I live in LA where there are so many plant-based families,
Katelyn Hughes: More progressive.
Kimberly Snyder: Information comes out, but you know, I don’t allow any energy to come in. That’s even like a little bit like, Oh, I’m just like, yep, this is what we’re eating. Boom. I just create that boundary with strength and then not just… Strong, yes, this is what we’re doing. So I’m not yeah, meek about it. And again, if they’re bringing up, just like, yeah, you know what, this is what we think is best for digestion or this is how we feel best. I keep it very short and very simple and I move on.
Katelyn Hughes: I agree and what we talked about in last week’s show too. It’s just having the confidence around what you’re doing. Then people tend to not share their opinion as much because then they see your stance and that you’re strong in it and most people don’t want to go to battle about something. So just to display that confidence in your choices has definitely helped me. We’ve heard it help with other members in the community too.
Kimberly Snyder: Yes. Yes.
Thought of the Week
Katelyn Hughes: All right, well it’s that time of the show where we round out with a quote of the week. What are you thinking this week, Kay?
Kimberly Snyder: So I want to offer a quote from the amazing yoga master, my guru, Paramahansa Yogananda, which I think does correspond to this show about healthy rhythms. And it is “remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.” So I was thinking about this quote because not just get along with other people, which is part of it, but also get along with yourself. So you know, we think about rhythm and then we think we start to get anxious. We start to feel like we’re falling off the wagon, we beat ourselves up or just like Roxanna’s last question. Sometimes we feel like, Oh my gosh, or Connie in New York, these people don’t like me or they’re making comments. If we just stay that anchor and we stay calm, take some breaths.
Kimberly Snyder: We were talking about Sarah’s question, financial planning, or just practically with other people plan it out. Take a step back, look, stay calm. And then if when we get… When we look at things from a calm place, we tend not to have all these crazy sugar cravings and give in to a bunch of cookies. We tend to, it’s be easier for us to decide what we want to eat from a calm place. It’s easier for us to make decisions.
Kimberly Snyder: It’s easier for us to not get swept up and feeling bad about what someone says so little mini meditations, just taking some deep breaths, closing your eyes before you make a big decision, before you send that email, taking some deep breaths, taking a moment or two to journal. You can do mini journaling during the day at your desk, at work, whatever, just to help yourself calm down. And again, calming foods, calming spices and herbs like fennel and fenugreek and even cinnamon tea, hot drinks. Ginger always feels calming to me cause it’s warming. So if I need to calm down, I often chill out and get a cup of hot tea. Anything we can do to stay calm is going to help keep us on our rhythm and it’s going to help keep us strong within ourselves.
Katelyn Hughes: Beautiful. Thank you, Kay. It’s a great way to round out the show. As always, beauties, you want to thank you for listening and we love to hear what you’re thinking. Please keep submitting your questions over on my soluna.com/ask Kimberly fill out that form, put in your question, or if there’s a topic you want to hear us talk about, we love hearing what you have to say. Kimberly Snyder: Awesome. Kay, thank you so much for gathering the questions. Thank you so much, beauties for tuning in, sending you so much love. Take great care of yourself. Stay rooted as we go into the crazy week next week, have your elixirs do your little microsteps. Drink your hot water with, and take your probiotics and we will see you back here on Monday for our next interview podcast. Lots and lots of love and see you soon.