How To Make Hard Decisions in Your Life and Feel Good About Them [Episode #720]
This week’s topic is: How To Make Hard Decisions in Your Life and Feel Good About Them
When we’re talking about this whole concept of feeling good, we’re talking about connection to a place deep inside of you where you feel that real confidence and real sturdiness. You feel your connection to source, true self intuition, heart, energy, whatever word you want to use. And when we have this really deep connection, we know that whether things work out exactly the way we want them to or not, we feel aligned. We feel that decisions are arising from up and out of us.
It’s not because we’re making a decision for someone else or trying to get validation from the outside or things that ultimately are really flimsy and don’t make us feel good because we feel like we’re just being tossed around. Instead we want to rise up into each moment with our highest level of decision making, coming from up and out of us. And so that is the essence of feeling good.
On our show, we talk about all the cornerstones, food, body, emotional wellbeing, and spiritual growth. All the decisions, whether it’s how you’re going to eat, what diet to follow, when you’re going to eat, how you’re going to take care of your body, and so on. Everything can come from this much more connected, feel good place.
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Inspirational Thought of the Week
“Perfect control of feeling makes you king of yourself….Start by not catering to likes and dislikes.” – Paramahansa Yogananda
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Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Namaste love and welcome back to our Thursday Q&A show where our topic this week is How To Make Hard Decisions in Your Life and Feel Good About Them. When we’re talking about this whole concept of feeling good, which of course is the name of our show. We’re talking about connection to a place deep inside of you, where you feel that real confidence, you feel that real sturdiness, you feel your connection to source true self intuition, heart, energy, whatever word we wanna use. And when we have this really deep connection, we know that whether things work out exactly the way we want them to or not, we feel aligned. We feel that decisions are arising from up and out of us. So it’s not because we’re making a decision for someone else or trying to get validation from the outside or things that ultimately are really flimsy and don’t make us feel good because we feel like we’re just being tossed around.
So instead we wanna rise up into each moment, meeting each moment with our highest level of decision making, again, coming from up and out of us. And so that is the essence of feeling good. And on our show, we talk about all the cornerstones food body, emotional wellbeing, which this particular show falls into and spiritual growth. So all the decisions, whether it’s how you’re going to eat, what diet to follow, when you’re going to eat, how you’re gonna take care of your body. And so on, everything can come from this much more connected, feel good place. So I’m really excited to get into our show today and our question.
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And please also share the show with loved ones, friends, whoever you think would benefit either through a link or screenshot, little reminder as well that our new book, baby, you are more than you think you are, is out. You can check it out. Wherever books are sold, this practical guide for deep, deep connection and connecting to that creativity and the abundance love piece inside of you and bringing that forward. So again, we really sculpt our lives, our bodies, our health, our beauty, everything comes from the insight out. And this book is very much a practical guide in this regard.
Question around the topic of: How To Make Hard Decisions in Your Life and Feel Good About Them: When I have to make big decisions in my life I always struggle and put them off as long as I can. What can I do to change this pattern and be comfortable making big decisions?
Okay, let’s get into our show today. Our question comes from Rosemary who lives in Texas. Thank you my Beauty for participating. Thank you for writing in, and your question is when I have to make big decisions in my life, I always struggle and put them off as long as I can. What can I do to change this pattern and be comfortable making big decisions? So I really think that this is an important question, Rosemary. So again, thank you so much. And for being part of our community, the beautiful thing is that our questions really do echo across. We share these, we have different exact experiences, but we do share these feelings. And when it comes to decisions, we can often vacillate. We can question ourselves. We can say, well, how do I know this is right? And we tend to overanalyze in the mind and we play things back and forward. We have imaginings about the future or, you know, which is usually based on memories, almost like these, these Phantom, the imagery of the past, which no longer is, or we see things out in the external world.
We sense things through our peripheral nervous system, whether things we see on the news or things we hear from a friend or something we see on social media, whatever it is. And all of this starts to get really confusing when we throw it into the pot and it comes from this, um, ungrounded place, shall we say, because thoughts in the mind are very much of this Vata air energy passing in, passing out a lot of air, a lot of wind. So Veta teaches us that when the VA is IMB balanced, and we’re just so much in our ungrounded thoughts, we can get anxiety there. Isn’t a way to stabilize the egoic thoughts on their own. They’re not really grounded in anything so we can have fear rise up, which fans, the flame of hundreds, thousands more thoughts, and this can continue to circulate in our minds.
And unfortunately we know that this can lead to insomnia and this can start to really impact our health. And we, you know, we may not still feel good about the decision we make after playing it out over and over and over again. So a little bit of research here before we dive in to some practical suggestions, how do we actually make good decisions? How can we come from a more grounded place? So Leah Henrick writes in the New York times over the past few decades, a growing multidisciplinary fields of research, spanning areas, as diverse as cognitive science management theory
And literary studies shows us that we can use better, that we can make better choices. So what she’s talking about here, and this is just a snippet is when we go off just one piece of information or we go again through with just one flitting idea, it doesn’t always register as a solid way to make a decision. Now I wanna build on this. This is from you are an intuitive body. This is a chapter in the new book. You are more than you think you are from page 133. Researchers from the university of new south Wales have studied intuition and demonstrated how much unconscious intuition can inform and improve decision making researcher. Joel Pearson says these data findings suggest that we can use unconscious information in our body or brain to help guide us through life, to enable better decisions, faster decisions, and to be more confident in the decisions we make, ger ner Greer.
I hope I’m saying that right of the max plank Institute for human development in Berlin says that people rarely make decisions on the basis of reason alone. And he goes on to talk about the unconscious intelligence of intuition and it goes on and on. There’s a lot of research in this particular chapter of the book, psychology today talks about how scientists use creative inte intuition to a select, which paths to follow towards potential discoveries. And this is an interesting quote from Nobel or Michael S. Brown, an American geneticist, who was awarded the Nobel prize in physiology of medicine. And he says physiology or medicine. He says, as we did our work, it felt as if there was a hand guiding us. Well, this hand he’s talking about, or this inner voice or this gut feeling is what the great yoga grew. Paramahansa Yogananda calls the infallible voice of the inner counsel. So this is the deep anchored place inside of you, where you take in the information that you need to, you make, you take rational steps, you do your research, but then it sort of gets sorted and distilled through. And then you wait for this inner guidance to rise up. This is your gift, the gift of intuition that is inside of all of us. So how many times in your own life have you just had a feeling about choosing that house or
Going with that relationship or making that decision at work or whatever it was from a really pure place. And I don’t mean from a fear based place of, oh, I have to stay in this, or this just seems like better than nothing or whatever it is. But when you came from a really clear place and for some of us, it may have been a long time since we made a decision like that. It might have been back when we were children, because as we become adults, our heads do become filled with a lot of ideas and a lot of influences. But if you can recall even one time where you made a really clear choice, you’ll notice that it tended to really work out. It took you on a path, things evolved, you learned you grew, however it worked out. So what we wanna do when it comes to making big decisions is we want to number one, like I said, gather information and take the, you know, rational. So called mental brain steps to discern, okay. Or gather the numbers or the ideas, whatever the facts. But then we wanna make space to sit in stillness and particularly in meditation.
And so Yoon does talk about this. He says, if you have a big decision to make, do not make it until you have. And I’m paraphrasing here do not make that decision unless you’ve taken it to the inside, you’ve taken it to your intuition first. So what we do is you can even ask the question or you can think of the question and then you set it aside. You go into your meditation practice. Now in our app, our Sal Luna app, there’s a really great, there’s a whole library of free guided meditations. And there’s a really great one on grounding yourself. So again, when we’re in the thoughts, the anxiety, the fear being tossed around in our heads, it’s very hard to make a decision and feel good because we do not feel grounded. So we do not know what to trust. What’s up, what’s down.
What’s really right. So you wanna ground yourself, go into your meditation and just focus on your breath, focus on being here now. And then after the meditation, you can just sit in stillness. What I often do is I get out my journal and a pen or pencil, and I just see what rises up. So because we’ve settled ourselves more in meditation, because we have really made this intention. What comes up is from a much more pure place of connection. Versus if we’re coming just from a conversation with our best friend, or we’ve heard this input from a bunch of family members or wherever it is, we wanna listen to that infallible
Voice rising up from inside of you, your gut instinct. So to speak as it’s, you know, you often called in the Western world, there is a real knowing, a deeper knowing deep inside of you. And so your gut around your money, poor chakra, this deep power center will guide you in ways that sometimes just the physical facts of this 3d world, there are limitations to just making decisions based on these facts. And again, as the research I just mentioned, this is now being noticed and studied in science, even with Nobel laureates and like these big health institutions, these scientific institutions are saying, if it was so easy to make the best decisions from rational facts, then we would all just be able to do that. But there is another factor at play and that other factor and play is this inner voice rising up inside of you.
So we need to sit in meditation regularly in order to discern that voice from the voice in your head. So the more we sit and regular practice is encouraged as part of this process, five, seven minutes a day to start as soon as possible from waking up, it will become more clear to you because in the beginning you might say to yourself, well, I don’t know if this is really my intuition or is it just my ego speaking to me, it will start to become more clear as you sit more in your meditation practice. It just starts to be clear. It’s like the mud settling down, settling down in a muddy pond where, you know, a child or a duck just sort of went through, kicked up the mud. So you wait a little bit, it settles down and that clear water is reflective of this more clear transparency of us and letting source spirit, universe, God, whatever word, whatever concept resonates with you, rise up and speak to you from inside of you.
So this can be a knowing a wordless feeling. It could be auditory, it could be many different forms, but it just starts to guide us more and more through life. And the example I use, I share about this in detail in the book is after I had come from a prolonged period of stillness, where I was in my home for months, and I emerged into the world into more socializing. And I came across my husband at a dinner party who on the physical surface was different than other people I had considered dating. He was, um, just, you know, into mixed martial arts and covered
In tattoos. And he had a gold grill in his teeth. And just for very surface reasons seemed like a mismatch, but it was from this intuitive place that I had learned through meditation and stillness and the other practices I share in the book as well. I had learned to discern between this peaceful, sturdy, steady feeling coming up. That is the intuition. It’s not jumpy. It’s just the more you listen. It’s, it’s a, like, it feels like a hum like a very, you know, just sturdy energy versus this jumping around this VA fueled energy of the mind often coming from a fear based place. What if I miss out, maybe this is too risky, da da da. So what felt like to me, just this inner knowing of yes, take the time to talk to this person, take the time to get to know this person, go in this direction.
And so I can say from personal experience, the love, this incredible life that we have built, and we are continuing to build of course, day by day together would not have been possible. Had I just been in my head had I really overlooked this deeper capacity to make decisions. So really this inner connection, which again, is connected to feeling good. Rosemary is born of this unshakeable knowing inside of us. And it allows us to stay really clear and really confident in our decisions so that we transcend making decisions based on, you know, wanting to avoid disappointing someone else coming from the fear when we make a decision and let’s say, it’s not the decision that our family wants us to make or a loved one or whatever it is. We can stand in the light of that truth and explain if we want or not <laugh> or just share from a really loving place. This is what feels right to me. And that other person will really feel the sturdiness inside of you. That’s rising up inside of you and that dissolves conflict and you know, just more pushiness. And if that continues, that’s on the other person, you can really come from this, you know, this clear heart place of knowing that doesn’t have to do with you. And so that’s a really beautiful place to come from. So I will leave you with that. And as I mentioned, there are lots more tools around developing intuition from the new book articles on our site. Please head over to the show notes mysolluna.com other podcasts we will link to other related shows that I think you would enjoy.
Thought of the Week
I wanna leave you with an important quote. And this is from page 136 of the new book. This comes from Paramahansa Yogananda himself. He says, “Perfect control of feeling makes you king of yourself….Start by not catering to likes and dislikes.” So he is talking about more witnessing, more neutrality, more observing, breathing, letting life come up. And so if we get so attached to one way, we can close off our intuition, we can close off to the messages. So in my practical personal example, if I was really into, well, I like people that you know, are really clean, cut and look a certain way. I would’ve completely cut off this path to the soulmate. And that ultimately would have not felt good about this big decision. So we need to learn to go beyond our little limited egoic ideas about what’s right and wrong and transcend them. So sending you so much love, remember to keep your questions coming over on the website. Let me know what you’re thinking, wondering how I can best support you. I will be back here Monday for our next interview show till then sending you so much love. Namaste.