What Is Sexual Wellness and Why It Matters in Our Overall Health [Episode #748]

This week’s topic is: What Is Sexual Wellness and Why It Matters in Our Overall Health

Our sexual power is really part of our creative power. It’s part of our ability to express our uniqueness out in the world through ourselves and in our connection with others. And it really is so much more than actual sex. It is our ability to be playful and alive and to birth new ideas and new creative ways of expression continuously. And when we learn to tap into this, life takes on a whole other more juicy, deep, fulfilling dimension.

And so our sexuality is able to come through in our daily world, in our daily life. It comes through when we’re playing with our kids and the playfulness that can come through and the ways in which we cook, we take care of ourselves, and how we arrange our homes.

This whole aspect of our creative power is a really important one in feeling deeply fulfilled in our life and alive. It’s part of our vitality. It is very much connected to our wellness, and I’m very excited to get into it today in our show with five key ways that you can tap into your creative power into your sexual wellness this year.

Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question sent in by a Beauty just like you, listen now to find out!

Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/

[Question Answered]

Jill – New Jersey  (Body Cornerstone)

I have always paid attention to my physical and mental health, but after having a family I have noticed that the one thing that always get the short of the stick when it comes to my priorities is my sex life.

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Happy New Year’s once again, loves and welcome back to our Thursday Q&A podcast where our topic this week is on sexual wellness. What is sexual wellness and why it matters to our overall health. So I’m really excited to start with this topic at the top of the year, which is actually a lot more expansive than you may think at first glance, because our sexual wellness, our sexual power, is really part of our creative power. It’s part of our ability to express our uniqueness out in the world through ourselves and in our connection with others. And it really is so much more than actual sex. It is our ability to be playful and alive and to birth new ideas and new creative ways of expression continuously. And when we learn to tap into this, life takes on a whole other more juicy, deep, fulfilling dimension.

And so our sexuality is able to come through in our daily world, in our daily life. It comes through when we’re playing with our kids and the playfulness that can come through and the ways in which that we cook or we take care of ourselves, we arrange our homes. So this whole aspect of our creative power is a really important one in feeling, again, deeply fulfilled in our life and alive. It’s part of our vitality. So it very much is connected to our wellness, and I’m very excited to get in into it today in our show with five key ways that you can tap into your creative power into your sexual wellness this year.

So you may hear I’m back in the studio now, I’m back from Hawaii. It is raining a little bit here in California, my other home. So you may feel a little bit of the rain <laugh>. It’s always the natural elements that we integrate with, and it’s nice to actually have a little bit of, of raininess, a little bit of, um, hydration from Mother Earth. So I hope you’re having a really great week so far. I hope that your new year has been great so far. We’re just getting started. So these are important ideas to talk about at the top of the year in order to take advantage for the year ahead as we start to plant seeds about what kind of year do we wanna have, what do we wanna create this year, how do we wanna feel before we go deeper into our show?

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Finally, I’ll mention that our new book, baby, this month, you are More Than You Think You are, is launching the soft cover edition she launched about 10 months ago, the Heart Cover. So I’m very excited that if you would like a lighter copy to take with you to keep next to your bed with practical exercises and jam-packed with teachings and information on shaping your life from the inside out the top of the year is a wonderful year, wonderful time to get yourself a copy or reconnect with the material through the soft cover form. So again, it’s called You Are More More Than You Think You Are – Practical Enlightenment For Everyday Life, and you can check it out wherever books are sold.

Question around the topic of: What Is Sexual Wellness and Why It Matters in Our Overall Health: I have always paid attention to my physical and mental health, but after having a family I have noticed that the one thing that always get the short of the stick when it comes to my priorities is my sex life.

All right, so let’s get right into our show today. And our question comes from Jill, who lives in New Jersey. Hi, Jill. My New Jersey Beauty, sending you lots of love out there to the East coast, the state where I was born and lived until I was about two and a half. So I have a special connection to New Jersey, and my father is a born and bred New Jersey. And so sending you much love and thank you for participating in our community. And your question is, I’ve always paid attention to my physical and mental health, but after having a family, I’ve noticed that the one thing that always get the, the short end of the stick when it comes to my priorities is my sex life.

So there are many different definitions of sexual wellness. So thank you, Jill. Once again, I’m already diving right in, but I know that a lot of us have similar questions about this topic and if it’s important and what do we do about it and how do we know we’re really well in the sexual environment. So there’s many different ways about, you know, looking at this topic. I will say that there are different layers of our being. We have our physical being, we have our emotional wellbeing, we have our mental health, we have our spiritual wellbeing, our connection to our true self, and we have the sexual aspect of ourselves, and we have sexual organs. We are, you know, we have the, um, capa the, the, the organs and that energy center, the sh chakra, your sacl chakra, which is connected to creativity and creative power.

And, and literally if we choose to, um, utilize the reproductive organs. So it’s all in that energy center. And for many of us, we may not choose to express our creativity through children. We express it through other means. We, I know more and more now as I talk to Gen Zs and the, um, just some of the, I was talking to, uh, some young younger members of our community in Hawaii who are, one girl was 16 and 17 and already had decided that, you know, the world had enough people and they didn’t wanna have children, but they wanted to help the planet in other ways, which I think is everybody’s choice. So there’s no right, there’s no wrong, but there is a truth, which is that we all have this creative energy inside of us. And when we tune into it and when we find ways to express it out, we feel this full potentiality.

We feel this fulfillment because we are meant to be di dynamic creative beings. We are not meant to just be in our heads, very rigid, very mental, we’re not meant to feel suppressed. So we really are meant to express this energy. So I think one of the misconceptions in my opinion about sexual wellness is that it means that we have to have sex literally a certain amount of times per week in order to be truly well. And I do not think that is exactly the way expressing ourselves sexually can involve sex, whether we do that with a partner or we do that with ourselves, but it doesn’t have to be so literal. We’ll get into that in just a moment. I really want to emphasize here at the top of the show that sexuality is much broader than sex. It’s not just confined to your sexual organs to use for sex, which is one pathway, one, um, rather narrow pathway, so to speak if we’re looking at it.

So literally, your sacral chakra is one of the main seven chakras that reside on your spine. And these chakras are, these energy centers works synergistically to align us to help us tap into this true self power. This is our connection to higher power, to the divine, to universe. It’s so much more than that. The sexual creative power nature is the birthing of the flowers and the birthing of creation all around. It’s this incredible aliveness. When we are in touch with our creativity, when we’re in touch with our single chakra and we start to really open up this sh essence, you will feel a change in your voice. You will feel more alive, you’ll feel more confident in a deeper way. There’s just a different type of magnetism and, and presence.

And so we want to reflect on all the ways in which we can express our sexual power in ways that feel empowering to us. And if there’s been ways that we have abused this power, um, abandoned ourself, given our power away, we wanna reflect on that as well and learn lessons and not shame ourselves, but really just go into our hearts as we start this new year and really connect to what feels deeply honoring to us. So there’s no right or wrong, there’s no judgment at all here. It really is an individual thing, but it is very powerful and it is very sacred. And so we want to express it in ways that are honoring that sacredness always. Because again, it’s, it’s a, it’s a integral part of who we are and it’s, it’s so unique and it’s so special.

So let us talk about five ways in which you can express this sexual energy throughout your life. And as we go through these tips, you can see this may spark ideas, of course, in your own life, this is meant to be a jumping off point. Some of these may resonate more with you than others. So of course, take away and integrate the ones that resonate the most with you in your life.

#1. Way to express sexual energy throughout your life:  With your unique creativity

So the first point here is to find ways, small and large to express your unique creativity on a daily basis. So at the very core, the very essence we are birthing, we are co-creating with spirit in every now moment. So we have this connection to divine. We also have our free will. So when we start to wake up to that, we start to realize that we can pour this ingredient, this beautiful energy of creativity into all that we do, knowing that every moment is a new chance to birth something new and beautiful and aligned and unique. So this can be an infinite ways instead of walking the same way to work, you may take a creative new pathway. You may pour this energy into your cooking for yourself or your family. You may find new ways to be playful with yourself and with your children. Create new games.

You can draw, you can sketch, you can uh, paint. You can use literally different art tools around, you don’t have to be a professional, but if you feel called to non-linear expression crafts, something I personally love. I used to love art a lot growing up. And you know, somewhere I took a couple art classes in college and then it fell off for a while. But the wonderful thing about having children, one of the, one of one of the many wonderful things is that there’s art supplies around all the time. And so I really do enjoy drawing alongside with them and sketching. And down here in my office, even when I’m writing or planning and preparing, I often have little doodles and ways that I’m expressing or connecting to ideas that don’t always come in the symbols and shapes of words, right? So there’s infinite ways to tap into this expression.

I will say that our wonderful, incredible, very connect, self connected housekeeper, MSCE El, who we’re so grateful to have in our home, she is such beautiful, wonderful energy. She has this incredible creative way of arranging our fruit bowls all the time when she goes shopping and she comes back and she just makes these incredible arrangements. And the ways in which she is around our home is I can just feel her creativity. And she does have that spark, right? So you can feel it on people when it’s coming through them. The opposite is when someone feels a bit repressed and rigid, which means we’re tampering down that creative power and it’s never gonna feel good. It can start to accumulate in rigidity in the joints or frustration. Um, the sharpness that comes out through our throat chakra, vada chakra, there said to be a connection between our sacl and our throat.

So you can feel it, someone’s voice starts to feel, um, just a little bit more dull, or the tone is a bit flat. But when there’s this deeper intonation in someone’s voice and you’ll feel a shift in your own voice, you can know when someone’s really tapping into this energy, when you will tap into this energy more in your life, you’ll feel it coming through your throat. So some other ways you can express creativity, just the way you arrange your desk or you arrange your room. Nicole on our Sona team mentioned to me once she was redecorating her home with her husband and not even getting new things, but just rearranging where the house plants were and some of the furniture. And again, this is us just expressing birthing in every moment. And we’ll find that this fuels so much aliveness and just vitality because we are meant to be dynamic beings.

#2. Way to express sexual energy throughout your life: With self and partner

So the second aspect here is sexual expression with self and partner. So as I mentioned, this does not have to be so literal, but if it feels good to you when you feel connected to it, to express this very intimate part of relationship, again with yourself or with a partner, and to feel that creativity, right? That closeness in actual sexual intercourse, sexual connection, touch, cuddling, affection. However, that feels good to you. And you can be playful of course with your partner, with yourself. And maybe there’s some conversations here, um, around what your needs are if you felt that you aren’t able to be really expressive or maybe your partner has been, you know, wanting a lot more sexual connection than than you do or vice versa. Communication is really important in sexual wellness because as I mentioned earlier, we want to honor our energy. And if we don’t, we will feel depleted. We can start to feel that wear and tear on our bodies and our, our minds and emotions spiritually. So there’s no right or wrong. You may be someone that loves to engage in sexual intercourse. It’s a big part of your life. You like to do it often, or you may be someone that it doesn’t. You know, you go through different phases in life. So sometimes it’s a big part and sometimes it’s less of a part, but it’s just really important to be self connected and honor that.

#3. Way to express sexual energy throughout your life: With your center

Number three is to connect to your center, your spine, to get out of your head and into your heart, your sacs chakra and into your body. So we do this of course through meditation. So when we are connected inside to the true self, we have this incredible creativity and vitality that starts to radiate out of us as one of the wonderful byproducts of meditation. So in the new book, there is a chapter, you may have heard me mention it before, but it bears mentioning it’s worth mentioning here again, of course, because this is our subject today called You are a, you are a creative force. You are a creative embodiment, you are creativity embodied, right? This is what the subject of the chapter is about. And it means that we all have this ability to express. And as I mentioned, it’s so, so important that we do this because any part of us that feels repressed, whether it’s in our heart or it’s in our third eye, we don’t have clear vision for our life and our connection or in our, in our money.

Poor chucker, our will center. We, we, we don’t feel our true power. It will affect our health, it will affect our vitality. If we’re not expressing our full creativity, things start to stagnate in decay. And so different body parts, different areas of our bodies are different. Organs can start to shut down and actually feel less revitalization, which is of course a way to invite in disease and sickness. So this ability to express is so important. So I encourage you as always to engage in a regular meditation practice. And particularly in the morning, it’s really a great idea to meditate as soon as possible in the morning, um, in order to start the day off in this flow and to start the day off with the intention of birthing and expressing your creativity throughout the day.

#4. Way to express sexual energy throughout your life: With bodily movement

So our fourth point is bodily movement. So a lot of stagnation builds in our bodies, and this is one area where creativity is very deeply connected to the ways in which we move our bodies and the energies in which we hold in our bodies. So any ways in which you can release any tension, do hip rolls, get in your yoga mat and do some sahaja or natural movement, which is how I like to practice. If I’m gonna get in my yoga mat, I just like to move around, see where which areas are tight and engage in non-linear movement. I’m gonna be doing that later on today because I can’t do my daily walk because of the rain. So I’m just gonna roll out my yoga mat and just play around and see what my body needs and see how I can really move my body.

And another great way to do that is to, um, is to dance. So you can just put on music that you like and you can dance around <laugh> if that feels silly to you. I mean, I dance with my kids, which is always, you know, fun. You have someone else being really silly with you. And sometimes Emerson, my oldest is six now, he likes to pretend we’re in a band and we did a big band night on New Year’s this year where we all played different, pretended to play different instruments and danced. And it was just so much fun. It’s so much fun to be silly and playful. You could also dance a little bit in the shower where you’re private and maybe you don’t feel judged or you don’t feel silly. And, um, it’s really wonderful thing to do. <laugh> is just to realize that things don’t have to be so serious. There’s so much of life that starts to feel really serious. And when things feel serious, it can shut down this non-linear creative part of us. And then we feel starved and nourished of this deep, juicy, alive energy that really runs through everything else. It runs through all different parts of our lives and can help us really awaken. So I encourage you to have some practices regularly through your day or your week, even simple twists, simple non-linear movements, um, just to really tap into that in your body.

#5. Way to express sexual energy throughout your life: With awareness of touch

So finally, our fifth and last action item to take today is to be really aware of touch throughout your day and throughout your life. And it’s this acute awareness, this mindfulness of expression in a very, um, basic form, but it’s very powerful. So when I say touch, of course that is part of the intimacy. It’s part of, you know, sexual intercourse and affection. But it, it is the way that, um, I mean touch is a, is a part of our, our day. It’s the way in which we touch ourselves when we wash and the shower. It’s the way we touch our food, the way we touch our loved ones, hugs. It’s the way in which we, we touch textures, clothes that you choose to wear, and the symbology of your clothes, the fabrics, what feels good to you as a form of creative expression. And I wanna talk particularly around our touch with water.

So water is this flowing element. Water is the element that is associated with the [inaudible]. So when you’re taking a shower, when you’re washing your hands, when you’re taking a bath, even now as I’m looking out over the rain and connecting to this element of water, this is a very powerful part as well. To create to this energy center. We need to be very hydrated. Think about the, the juiciness of tropical fruit. Of course, in Hawaii, I eat a ton of pineapple, a ton of mango. When it’s in season, we have four, three, maybe four, I can’t tell. In the, in the forest there you’re intertwined, or it’s one big tree, at least three or four mango trees. The guava, this water element needs to be really present in our life in order to really tap into this full power. So yes, literally making sure, literally that you’re drinking enough water every day, but also every time especially you’re connecting with the sacredness of water to wake up to that.

And it may be worth getting a one of those little zen boards for your desk. Do you know what I’m talking about? It’s, it’s a, there’s a brush and then a little pool of water and then a board and you can just paint on it and it disappears. So it’s about, you know, there’s no attachment to the fruits of your labor. We’re not so attached to what it’s gonna look like cause it’s gonna disappear in three minutes anyway. But it’s just about using this water as part of your expression or maybe having a little water fountain or a little kind of water feature in your home, or the entrance of your home or something to, to really tap into the water element. So just be aware with touch as you move through the day. And just notice that, um, sensory <laugh>, that creative power that can start to be

Activated through something as simple as mindfulness around touch. So I hope that some of these spark some inspiration in your life. Again, we’re talking about sexual wellness. We’re really talking about creative power here. And our five action steps were express creativity on a daily basis. Express your authentic, honored form of sexuality with partner or self connect to your center and your spine and your real creative center through meditation. And of course, I’ll mention on our website now, we have many free guided meditations in the form of the Practical Enlightenment Meditations, which is a form of meditation I love to teach with mantra and some breath work. I think you’ll enjoy it very much inspired by the great yoga guru Paramahansa Yogananda number four, body movement that’s non-linear and circular to just get your body aligned with this creativity that we’re tapping into. And number five, being really aware of sensory touch and especially in connection with the element of water.

So I hope again, that this inspired you. Let me know how else I can continue to support you this year. Let me know any questions that you have. Another, um, thanks again to Jill for sparking this topic with her question. So I’m definitely listening. Always head over to mysolluna.com for the show notes and for, you know, the place where you can submit your question. I’ll also see you in cyberspace. I’m on social media. You can reach out, you can DM me and sending you so much love, so much gratitude as we head into this new year. I’m really grateful for our connection and I look forward to connecting with you more. Namaste, I bow down to the light in you. Much, much love and see you back here on Monday.