Since the birth of Lil Bub only three weeks ago, life, as anyone would expect, has completely changed! I wanted to share with you some insights I’ve personally gleaned, which I think are relevant to share, whether or not you are personally a parent.
I think big life changes open the door for perspective shifts that can also inspire others. They are junctures of time that give you a really eye-opening, fresh look at well…everything! So here are some of my big life lessons my 3-week old son has already taught me.
Here we are! Bub is always wrapped to Mama!
Lesson 1: Life can be shared…even more than I ever thought possible.
I’m doing full-on attachment parenting, which immediately felt like the most natural, intuitive thing in the world to me. This means that Bub is always on my body, pretty much 24 hours a day, except for some sleeping periods during the night in the co-sleeper directly next to our bed.
He is wrapped to my body for meetings, when I visit my smoothie & cleanse shop Glow Bio, while I’m doing podcasts, doin’ errands… yep, pretty much all the time! You’d be hard pressed to ever find Mama without Bub.
Visiting the gang at Glow Bio!
I used to be the kind of person that really relished alone time. I think that is a necessary quality in a writer, at least to some degree, as the hours of writing are indeed very long and must be solitary. I enjoyed my meditation time, my self yoga practice and having more time to think alone during the day.
But now Bub has expanded my viewpoint of that. Now I can see I can actually share life a lot more than I have in the past. I now meditate while nursing Bub, or when he is snoozing or quietly sitting in my lap (I am so blessed that he is that calm of an infant!). He has been a huge inspiration for my writing, and the flow of creative ideas, and I’ve learned to write with him nursing or napping on my lap.
Yes, life can be shared while still keeping an interior space of peace and serenity.
Lesson 2: Beauty Detox works for every phase of life…including pregnancy and breastfeeding.
I’ll save the specifics of this huge lesson for other specific blogs on these subjects, and also a future book! But I will say now that you don’t really know to the deepest extent how something is until you go through it yourself.
That’s why I understand about severe acne and weight gain- because I have experienced them myself. That’s also why I don’t recommend any products or offer any products (like our SBO probiotics), unless I absolutely adore them and have experienced them in my own body. The authenticity has to be there.
Multi-tasking Mommy! Feeding on one side, pumping on the other (for backup) and writing this blog :).
So now that I’ve personally experienced pregnancy and am breastfeeding myself, I can comment from the other side. And I am thrilled to say that Beauty Detox, which is about eating whole foods, improving digestion, ongoing cleansing to keep the body the cleanest and functioning at its peak…works for these sacred stages of life.
Actually…it more than works. I truly believe Beauty Detox is the cleanest, most energizing and healthiest way to eat to support Mama and baby in all ways!
Lil Bub was born exceptionally healthy and at a hefty 8 pounds, 11 ounces. I had great energy throughout the pregnancy, walking 5-7 miles a day up until the day I gave birth, and I really only gained weight in my belly.
At his two week checkup, Lil Bub was in the 90% percentile for height and weight, which speaks to the super nourishing and abundant breast milk I am able to produce on the Beauty Detox lifestyle.
Lesson 3: Your heart can grow (actually burst open!) far more than you ever thought possible.
Love is very much a part of nature. Through the extreme exhaustion of sleeplessness, night after night, and the demand of constant attention of a newborn, Mama is able to pull it off. Why? Because of one thing: immeasurable, overwhelming love.
I think the more in tune we are with self love, the greater our capacity to love fully and openly. The pregnancy gave me newfound respect and love for my body and myself, with its changing shape to powerfully accommodate and carry new life.
But you don’t have to have a baby to open up your heart. You can work now on self-acceptance. This was a big theme around the tools offered in The Beauty Detox Power. Meditate, listen to your inner dialogue and banish chronic negative self talk. Learn to appreciate the unique beauty you already are. Then you will feel more love in all areas of your life as never before.
Lesson 4: I have really learned the practice of presence.
I believe that being a mother is a spiritual practice. It has also heightened my understanding of what it takes to be present, truly present. During the wee hours of the morning, when I pull him to my chest to breastfeed yet again, and his sweet eyes open and stare back at me, where else is there to be? Time stops in the most beautiful way. There is nothing else to do or think about.
Even though I make a great effort to live a conscious life, being present for conversations and meditating, I still have much work to do. Thoughts lingering about the future crop up, such as: When am I going to fit in yoga today? Or What am I going to eat for dinner tonight?
I still have a long way to go in my personal journey of evolution, but I can say that when I look into Bub’s eyes or gaze at his peaceful sleeping face in my lap, I have experienced real glimpses of presence. I am here.
Lesson 5: What Really Matters?
Priorities have to shift with a newborn. Time with friends, my yoga practice, cooking, everything else has to play second fiddle now. I have had to say no to different opportunities, put things off, let go.
It’s a beautiful lesson in realizing that re-shifting your perspective is possible, and that as you do, life becomes simpler in many ways, with fewer elements that are built around what really matters: love. Your loved ones, supporting your self love and nourishment, working to take care of your loved ones, etc.
Sure I work every day, but I’m VERY lucky to do most of my work while Bub is napping on my lap, or peacefully breastfeeding at the table while I’m able to write blogs (which is exactly what is happening right now!) or do conference calls or interviews. Life goes on, but with a new perspective.
Bub is chilling with Mama as I do podcast interviews for Beauty Inside Out!
Focusing on the things that really matter for you– is a really important lesson for anyone, parent or not. It reminds me of the cowboy Curly’s lesson in the old movie City Slickers: “Figure out the one thing that matters and everything else doesn’t mean s—t”. ☺
If we can really hold on to the things that really matter, such as making time for our loved ones and spiritual practice, we don’t have to get stressed out about everything else in life not working out perfectly. Because we will know what really matters.
Lesson 6: It’s Not All About You.
I’ve learned the ultimate service, which is to serve another in and out every day and to think of someone else’s needs beyond my own, in every moment. Baby E’s needs, his feedings, take precedence over my sleep and desires. His kisses are more important to give than me tending to a conference call. His diaper is dirty now and he is hungry now, not after I finish even a few yoga poses or make a quick tea.
Of course there is balance. I am a big believer that Mama must take care of herself in order to be the happiest and best Mama she can be. If a mother does not, she will get depleted, run down, possibly resentful, or even depressed, and will not reflect her full vitality. I know for myself, I need to keep being creative and writing and putting things out into the world. For me, it doesn’t feel like “work” so much as sharing my passions, and it’s really important to me. Every Mama has to find what is still important for her, so she doesn’t feel like she is losing herself.
I think support is key- whether it comes from a partner, a parent, a caregiver, friends or neighbors, whatever. For example, I am really grateful to have this wonderful post-partum doula/nurse helping us now who is cooking Beauty Detox recipes for us, keeping the house in order, doing the food shopping and errands, and helping watch the baby when he’s sleeping so I can take a shower, etc.
So balance is key, but a great lesson is learning that things are bigger than our everyday whims and desires, and that we will live without getting everything we thought we “needed” right when we wanted to have it or wanted to do something.
This is also a great lesson in non-attachment.
Lesson 7: Now I Really Don’t Worry About What Others Think!
Since I’m doing on-demand breast-feeding, all vestiges of being self-conscious about my breasts and body in general have totally faded away.
I try to stay as modest as possible, but if an edge of boob flies out from under my baby wrap or I’m in the corner of a store and I have to pull my nipple out to relatch, so be it. I’m definitely not going to not feed my son because some people think public breastfeeding should not be allowed (sorry but too bad!).
I also don’t care if colleagues, acquaintances and even friends think I’m “weird” for insisting that all Bub’s clothing is made of organic cotton, and all toys are wooden instead of plastic (to avoid pesticides, toxic glues and flame retardant chemicals, etc).
I will do what I think is best for him, me, my family, and I really don’t care what others think in that regard!
What a great lesson in freedom. We all want approval from our peers, and that has become even more highlighted through social media “likes” and views. But if you just try to focus on living your life authentically and worry less and less about what others think, I think we will all be happier. ☺
Hope you enjoyed reading about some of the lessons Lil Bub has already taught me. He is a great teacher! I am grateful for this amazing experience and will continue to share with you.
Did these lessons inspire any thoughts or lessons you have learned from big life shifts- parenting or otherwise? Let me know what’s on your mind!
I will see you back here soon! ‘Til then, take care and be well.