Are You In A Rut? Reboot Using The Four Cornerstones! [Episode #600]
This week’s topic is: Are You In A Rut? Reboot Using The Four Cornerstones!
We all get in ruts. Let’s be honest. We all have ups and downs, and sometimes we think that things are going really well and we’re cruising along and then snap! Something happens or we just get off track, and then we start to feel like we’re in not such a great place.
This is a natural pattern that we see in nature as well, there’s expansion, and then there’s times of contraction and pulling inward. What we want to do is recognize that ups and downs are part of life and part of the natural cycle, and at the same time, we don’t want to stay stuck and feel stagnant in a rut.
We want to have the tools and practices to move through the rut most effectively, most efficiently and not feel this stuck vibe. So we’re going to get into the holistic approach, which is what the Four Cornerstones are all about: food, body, emotions, and spirit. It means that we are going to get past that issue in the best possible way, because we are working on the level of wholeness.
Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!
Seems like an odd statement to say that l have no idea if I’m stuck in a rut because I just keep on going. Seems like has gotten more hectic rather than calm through the whole covid ordeal. Could this be true Kimberly?
Andrea – Georgia
I’m in my 40’s and my girlfriend keeps telling me I should try something new, like I need a kick in the butt or something. What can you suggest for me as I am newly a single mom and working to keep my head above water. I feel like I have lost myself in motherhood and in my divorce.
Justine – Tennessee
I used to think that eating the same foods would help me stay on track and I feel like it does but I also feel like I need a reboot. Any tips on how to make this shift without losing what I’ve gained, which is weight-loss and a better mindset?
Maryann – Idaho
I’ve been an avid follower of yours for a few years now and have incorporated much of what you teach. My question is, do I need spiritual practice if I’m feeling pretty good about my routine as it is?
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Inspirational Thought of the Week
More self-connection will help you move through ruts more easily.
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Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly: Hey Beauties and welcome back to our Thursday Q & A community podcast, where all our questions from today’s show have come right from our amazing community. Our topic today is, Are You In A Rut? Reboot Using The Four Cornerstones.
Kimberly: We all get in ruts. Let’s be honest. We all have ups and downs, and sometimes we think that things are going really well and we’re cruising along and then snap! Something happens or we just get off track, and then we start to feel like we’re in not such a great place. This is a natural pattern that we see in nature as well, there’s expansion, and then there’s times of contraction and pulling inward. What we want to do is we want to recognize that ups and downs are part of life and part of the natural cycle, but at the same time, we don’t want to stay stuck and feel stagnant in a rut. We want to have the tools and practices to move through the rut most effectively, most efficiently and not feel this stuck vibe. Like, I want to get out of this and I don’t know how to or I can’t, I feel sticky, it feels really hard. So we’re gonna get into that today.
Kimberly: And I will say that sometimes when we just tackle things from a fragmented place, from one perspective, we get limited results because we’re not seeing the whole breadth of the issue. And as I say often, our wholeness lies in our power. So when we take a holistic approach, which is what the four cornerstones are all about: food, body, emotions, and spirit, it means that we are going to get past that issue in the best possible way, because we are working on the level of wholeness.
Kimberly: So it’s like if a client comes to me and they have something going on, I know it’s not just about the food, and I’ve always known that. The food part we can fix, but usually there is an emotional part, something with their body, something with their self connection, which is really what spirituality to me boils down to. More awareness. Awakening to the essence inside of us, to spirit inside of us and all around.
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Kimberly: So yeah, that’s what I’ve… That’s my intro there. I could keep going and going, but I want to leave time for the questions, of course. And before we get into the questions even, I want to give you a quick reminder to please leave us a review on iTunes, which is free and easy and great way to support the show, and to motivate you a little bit more created a really awesome self-love affirmation series, which includes these mini talks and the ways to do affirmations and the way that I do affirmations. It’s a really great way to start reprogramming some of your limited beliefs.
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Question #1 around the topic of: Are You In A Rut? Reboot Using The Four Cornerstones!: Seems like an odd statement to say that l have no idea if I’m stuck in a rut because I just keep on going. Seems like has gotten more hectic rather than calm through the whole covid ordeal. Could this be true Kimberly?
Kimberly: All right, all that being said, let’s get into our show today. First question comes from Susan who lives in Ontario and she writes, “It seems like an odd statement to say that I have no idea if I’m stuck in a rut, because I just keep on going. It seems like life has gotten more hectic rather than calm through the whole COVID ordeal. Could this be true, Kimberly?” I think it is true, Susan. I think that is potentially true. I think that… And sending you big love my sister. Thank you so much for being part of our community all the way from Canada.
Kimberly: So I think that if we… First of all, if you’re listening to this and you’re like, well, I don’t know if I’m a rut or not. What it means is we’ve become desensitized. We’ve become a bit numb. It means that things start to feel like a pattern we keep going over and over and we don’t really take the time to create more awareness, and we’re not feeling as awake as we could yet. So things can just keep on going and it may not feel horrible, but maybe it doesn’t feel great at the same time. So I think it’s really important to do a very personal assessment, a check-in with yourself. And to do this, you need to create some space and it could be an hour or two, I would say at least one, if not two, three hours just sitting with yourself. Right now, I’m in my woman cave in the basement and sometimes I have that space in the evening or Saturday mornings. And a couple of weeks ago, I had even more space when hubby was away and Bubby was away. It was just me and Mosey.
Kimberly: And I really sat and did an assessment and I let a lot of feelings come up and I really just took the time to sit and I had a lot of realizations. So I think when life is really hectic and busy, we don’t take the time to assess, to have stillness, and that’s when so much information comes forward. Be sure to have your notebook handy, your journal, for those times because when things start to settle down, it’s like a bunch of mud that gets kicked up in a lake. People are paddling around and doggy paddling, and then the kids and the people get out of the lake. And after a little bit of time, the leaves and the dirt settle to the bottom of the lake and it becomes clear again.
Kimberly: So I believe in modern life and the way that we schedule our days, and we have alerts on our phone and we are sitting in line and can’t just have a moment. We have to go on Instagram or our texts or whatever. So we’re constantly in external noise. We’re constantly running. We’re constantly just doing things all day long, that when we are just being, when we are sitting back, we can discern, oh, I’m actually in a rut emotionally. I’ve been sort of feeling really angry, bitter, sarcastic for the past few days, and I’m just stuck there and I don’t like feeling that energy, and just allowing that awareness to come, because then you can do something about it. Then you can sit and really let yourself feel those feelings, and maybe underneath theirs sadness. There often is for me, when I let those feelings go, there’s some sadness, some grief. So then I sit with that too, and then I let that pass. And then I have a lot more clarity and I feel lighter.
Kimberly: So I think it is a good practice to sit, and as a little bit more guidance in this practice, Susan, take your journal and then write a big cross, like four quadrants for our cornerstones, because these are the key areas of our life. And you can set the food one first. How do I feel about the way I’ve been nourishing myself with food? Is there any changes I need to make to my diet? Am I in my highest and best self right now, dietarily speaking? And just see what arises without judgment, without beating yourself up. This is the place just to see, hey, could I up the ante here a little bit? Are there some shifts I can make? Just sit and ask yourself, am I really doing my best with my diet? And then move on to body. What’s going on with my body? Does she need some love? Does she need more care? Does she need more exercise? Do I need to change my exercise? Just sit with your body and you can even ask your body, what do you need from me? What am I not giving you? What could I do to nourish you more? And just see what comes up.
Kimberly: And then mentally and emotionally, this is a big one for most all of us. Where can I feel more supported? Where can I allow myself to feel more safe so I can relax my nervous system? How can I process my feelings more? What’s going on? Am I in a rut emotionally? Then spiritually, and then this is the one about self connection. Spiritual growth means we start to grow more and more into our awareness of who we really are, what the yogi’s call the true self, just beneath the surface. It’s your soul. It’s your essence. Your unique essence of you, at the core of Susan, is something that can’t be explained by the color of your eyes or your job title. Susan is Susan deep inside. So spiritual growth is about sitting with that. And in this assessment, you can see how much time do I really give to knowing myself? Which is primarily through meditation, stillness, time in nature, so on and so forth, but really meditation and prayer and being in that space. You can say, am I in a rut here?
Kimberly: Do I never allow that time? Last time I sat with myself and did a practice like this, or meditated was two months ago or five years ago, whatever it is. So I would do that inventory, Susan, and really trust your gut feelings, really trust yourself because you know best what is going on with you, and you know best if you are in a rut in one area or more areas, and then you will know best how to shift and how to move and what to do about it. So I love this question. I love starting to show off this way, because sometimes we don’t necessarily label ourselves as being in a rut. But when we start to sit back in more stillness, we can look around and be like, oh crap. This could really be. This is not how I wanted to be. I wanted to be more aligned. I wanted to feel better here. And yeah, we can keep going from there. All right my love, thank you so much for your question. I’m really interested in your self-assessment and hearing where you are from a rut perspective. We’d love to support you here in the community. So thank you so much and sending you so much love.
Question #2 around the topic of: Are You In A Rut? Reboot Using The Four Cornerstones!: I’m in my 40’s and my girlfriend keeps telling me I should try something new, like I need a kick in the butt or something. What can you suggest for me as I am newly a single mom and working to keep my head above water. I feel like I have lost myself in motherhood and in my divorce.
Kimberly: All right, the next question comes from Andrea and she lives in Georgia and she writes, “I’m in my forties and my girlfriend keeps telling me I should try something new. Like I need a kick in the butt or something. What can you suggest for me as I am newly a single mom and working to keep my head above water? I feel like I have lost myself in motherhood and in my divorce.”
Kimberly: Oof. Big one, Andrea, my love. My heart goes out to you. And I said oof, because I can resonate with this. I understand I was a single mom too, for a time when I broke up with Bubby’s dad and I moved out on my own into a home that I rented and I felt like I was trying to keep my head above water. I was just feeling shell shocked. It’s funny the way life works out because this happened sometime after my mom passed away, and my dad, who was very close with my mom and they were together for over 40 years, I had him move in with me. And at the time it was like, I got to help daddy up because I just don’t want him being on his own since mom just passed. But really it was so amazing and comforting to have my dad there and to have my dad help with Bubby.
Kimberly: So anyways, I understand what that feels like, being in that situation. So first of all, I send you so much love and a big hug because you are doing it mama, and you are strong and you are amazing and good for you. I do think it is important to take care of yourself. If your friend noticing something, she’s probably sensing and feeling that she’s concerned about you, maybe she’s worried that you aren’t giving yourself enough love and self care and attention and energy. So I would take this back to what I was saying with Susan about a little bit self-assessment with the four cornerstones. And here I want to start with a spiritual cornerstone. When we go through big life changes, when we had an identity of being in a family, married with a kid, when things change and now you’re a single mom and that identity has completely shifted and is no longer there.
Kimberly: It’s really important that you take the time to reconnect with who is Andrea underneath those labels? Who am I? And this is what I did. I really dove into my meditation practice during that period. And I really took the time to sit and to assess, and my head was spinning and I was attached to those labels and I thought, oh, I never thought I’d be a single mom, like what is going on? But underneath all these changing and shifting circumstances is Andrea. And it’s really important in this period to connect with that essence and to connect with her and where she is.
Kimberly: So I highly recommend… The number one practice I recommend is meditation to ground yourself, to connect with the spirit, with the energy of Andrea, with your true self. That is where you will find your power. That is where you will get your confidence back.
Kimberly: That is where you will connect to your true beauty and to all the love from inside and all the love you can offer outside. So we have free guided meditations. I have a method that I’ve organized and have planned out that I now am teaching. It’s called practical enlightenment meditation. And there’s a part of it that’s physical, sitting down. So you’re not doing like poses or anything, but there’s a part to settle your body. And then we get into some breath work and then we get into introducing the intention, affirmation, energy of that particular meditation. So I found it to be really, really effective. If you’d like to check it out, we have it in the app. We have it on the website. We also… Yeah, I’ll just leave it at that. But meditation, as I read what you’re saying here, Andrea, to me is the most important thing, just to have that connection back in.
Kimberly: And then emotionally, I just think it’s important to sit with your feelings and to notice what’s coming up. Is it anger? Is it sadness for this life that you thought was going to be, and now it’s shifted? Community is really, really important. Community has helped me get through all these really hard times in my life. When my mom passed and when I did become a single mom is actually when I started getting into circles. I started going to circles that two of my friends were holding and I started really liking the idea, and then I started developing my own way of doing the circle, which is today available to you and to everyone in the Solluna circle, which is our membership part of the app. We sit in circle together. We get on Zoom every month. There’s amazing conversation happening on a daily basis. I give tips every day. So I think that community could feel really supportive to you, Andrea, from an emotional standpoint. And from that mental health standpoint. It’s really important to connect with like-minded sisters. I’m a huge believer in that.
Kimberly: And then body-wise, even though there’s a lot going on, I think it’s so important to move your body, to get outside, to take walks, to just feel alive, because otherwise we can start to just feel stagnant and we’re sitting around and in our heads, then we start to feel more heavy. So please love go for walks, move your body, just move yourself and keep that as a regular practice. It’s very good mentally.
Kimberly: And then food wise. Just make sure that you stay connected to what your body needs, that you’re taking time to eat. You’re chewing your meals. You’re taking a moment to pause and ask yourself about what to eat before you just plow forward and eat whatever is the easiest thing. I often eat easy things, but there are different things because I stand there before I choose. I stand there. Sometimes I close my eyes. I just say, what should I eat right now body, what do you need? And sometimes it’s different than what I think it’s going to be. Today I asked my body and I was going to have my normal avocado tomato sprout hummus wrap, but it said, “I need more grounding.” I felt the need for more grounding. So instead I made a bowl. I had sweet potatoes, spinach, rice, and beans. And it was a very grounding me on, I just felt it in my body. I need this right now. So remember Andrea to take great care and to really spend some time focusing on Andrea. That will be the best thing you can do for your children as well for yourself, is to really connect back in. Meditate, community, journaling, walks, good food, and you’ll start to feel more strength.
Kimberly: And you’ll start to rise up from this period stronger than ever. And I can say that now from being on the other side, I feel stronger than ever and I also feel the most peaceful and I feel the happiest ever, because if you are not in a good relationship, you need to move on and then you can rebuild. You learn your lessons and then you keep going and life just keeps getting better and better and better. So I’m so excited for you, Andrea, to transition, to grow. I send you so much love, my sister. Keep in touch with us and let us know how things are going.
Kimberly: All right. My loves. We’re going to take a short break and when we get back, we have two more questions for you guys.
Question #3 around the topic of: Are You In A Rut? Reboot Using The Four Cornerstones!: I used to think that eating the same foods would help me stay on track and I feel like it does but I also feel like I need a reboot. Any tips on how to make this shift without losing what I’ve gained, which is weight-loss and a better mindset?
Kimberly: All right my loves, we have two more questions for you on this topic of, are you in a rut? Reboot using the four cornerstones. The next question comes from Justine who lives in Tennessee. And she writes, “I used to think that eating the same foods would help me stay on track, and I feel like it does, but I also feel like I need a reboot. Any tips on how to make this shift without losing what I’ve gained, which is weight loss and a better mindset?”
Kimberly: So what I like to do Justine is I like to make basic things, I like to eat things over and over again, but I vary the ingredients within it. So for instance, see, I have my glowing green smoothie in the morning and it tastes radically different to me if I put pineapple in for the fruit or I stick with the pear-apple-banana combo, or if I put strawberries in which Bubby loves. So I vary the food within it, so I’m getting that wider range of plant foods, which is really important for gut health. I recommend checking out our podcast with Dr. B, who is an amazing gut health doctor, I interviewed him a couple months ago, and he does talk about… The biggest thing I got from the show, and one of the biggest things from his philosophy is really eating as many different kinds of plant foods as possible, because each one helps to strengthen your gut and starts to awaken different parts, different enzymes. And so we are healthiest, from a food perspective, when we do eat a wide variety. So it’s okay to have that GGS every day, but vary it up. Sometimes we have kale instead of spinach.
Kimberly: So my wrap, which I was just talking about, sometimes I put sprouts, sometimes I put micro greens, sometimes I put just different things in it, but I know I’m going to have a wrap, but I make it different. Same thing with the Dharma’s kale salad. Lately I’ve been in this huge goji berry kick. I put goji berries in it and hemp seeds and walnuts, but sometimes I put olives and sunflower seeds, tempeh on top. So I vary the ingredients, but it’s still that no brainer, I’m going to have the kale salad. Same thing with bowls, same thing with kitcheree. I change up the veggies. I change up the actual components and the spices. So here’s another important aspect is, Oriveda talks about seasonality and it talks about rotating your herbs and spices for that season. And we’ve had great podcasts, another one I’ll have to recommend here is with vidya Jay, with Dr. Jay, my ayurvedic teacher, who is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to ayurvedic practices and foods and spices.
Kimberly: And I loved, oh my gosh, I loved my ayurvedic nutrition class that I took with him, it was really wonderful. So I will say that another thing you can do Justine is to really work with the spices and mix things up. And also there’s a natural flow to the seasons. So spring, it’s time to eat a lot of raw food, summer, more cooling foods, because it’s the height of pitta, the sun. And then in the winter, we tend to eat fatty or comforting foods. So I’m definitely having a lot more curry and kitcheree in the winter then right now. So my advice to you, Justine, it’s great you’re on track and I think that’s wonderful and I do the same thing. I eat a lot of the same basic stuff. Vary your spices, vary your ingredients, vary your veggies and stick to some seasonal shifts.
Kimberly: And other than that, keep going. It sounds like you’re in a really good place, and that will give you the reboot that you need, I think, just by sticking to what’s seasonal, sticking to what’s fresh, sticking to that variety so you get more variation. It’s going to feel great. Let me know how you do my love and thank you so much for being part of our community.
Question #4 around the topic of: Are You In A Rut? Reboot Using The Four Cornerstones!: I’ve been an avid follower of yours for a few years now and have incorporated much of what you teach. My question is, do I need spiritual practice if I’m feeling pretty good about my routine as it is?
Kimberly: All right. My loves, and our last question comes from Maryann, who lives in Idaho and she writes, “I’ve been an avid follower of yours for a few years now and have incorporated much of what you teach. My question is, do I need spiritual practice if I’m feeling pretty good about my routine as it is?” Wow, this is a wonderful question Marianne, and I absolutely love it. I think it’s very honest, very authentic and very applicable.
Kimberly: So I think that there’s layers and layers to feeling good. I felt pretty good, very good, amazing, where I was at that time, it felt amazing to me, let’s say 10 years ago, when I started to really get my bloating under control and it was so easy to maintain my weight for the first time and my skin was clearing up. If you asked me back then, I would say, nah I don’t really need much. Now I’ve got this whole thing and I feel really good. But the journey to true wellness keeps going and going and going. And so for where I sit today, I can say that the greatest, most powerful part of my wellness routine and my wellness philosophy is around self-connection, knowing yourself truly. Self-realization.
Kimberly: And that comes from spiritual practice, which comes from really spending time getting to know yourself, the true self, really knowing Marianne. And there’s layers to this, right? When I say knowing her, it means just being really comfortable and connected to her and the true self. And when you are connected to that deeper essence inside of you, there’s unlimited benefits, including just feeling more confident, feeling more clear as you walk around the world, feeling less reactive to things, feeling very calm, feeling ever new levels of joy, just from nothing at all, just feeling explosions in your heart, feeling connected to other people, having better relationships, having a better relationship with food, not feeling so tied to food for emotional reasons, but feeling so deeply grounded that food can just go back to being nourishment and something you eat for supporting your body.
Kimberly: So I would say Mariana, it’s wonderful that you’re in a good place. That makes me really happy to hear. I’m very, very happy for you, but I would encourage you to be open to a spiritual practice, such as meditation, to explore if that will even take you to another level, which I believe it will. If you continue with that, it’s layers and layers, right? You drop deeper into this awareness. It’s a different quality I think as you move about the world, different look in your eyes, different energy, your voice sounds different. You’re tuned into something deeper than just the surface.
Kimberly: So to me, it’s been worth everything. To me, the one practice I never want to give up is meditation. I’d take meditation over the healthiest foods all day. I’d rather meditate and eat so-so, than eat amazing and not meditate. How about that? Because to me, that meditation, that self-connection influences every single interaction in every single moment going forward. It gets infused into everything. It changes my mindset. It changes my energy.
Kimberly: And so, yes, I did feel good 10 years ago, Marianne. I was starting to meditate, I wasn’t as deep as I am now. But I will say from where I sit, and I stand by this a thousand percent, I’m a million percent passionate about this. When we talk about the cornerstones, food, body, emotional wellbeing and spiritual growth, I teach these, I talk about these things because I really do believe in them and I really do believe that there is a reason that we are created the way we are. We have this physicality and there’s koshas, there’s layers, it goes deeper and deeper inside. We don’t want to just stay on the surface. We don’t want to just put on the makeup and look in the mirror and just see this. We want to see this. Feel this. I’ve got my hands on my heart right now. The soul, the essence. What makes Marianne unique? How can she offer those gifts to the world? How can she be even more connected and loving with herself and other people? Everything gets better when we deeply, deeply, deeply connect. And I can say that from personal experience. And I can say that from my heart.
Kimberly: So give it a go, Marianne, just let me know how you do. It doesn’t have to take the most time in the world. As I mentioned, our guided meditations are like seven minutes. So just try consistently going inward, connecting with yourself over the next week, few weeks and see how it feels. I can almost guarantee that it’s going to feel great, that you are going to notice another layer of self-awareness, self-love, joy that you get from those practices. And I can’t wait to hear more about it. Please keep in touch with me.
Thought of the Week
Kimberly: All right my loves. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I really loved this topic. Before you sign off, I want to leave you with a quote of the week, which I wrote at the beginning of the show actually, as I do with all these shows. Our quote is, “More self-connection will help you move through ruts more easily.“
Kimberly: So it’s funny because we just ended on that question where it talked about self-connection. So we’re all going to get in ruts, right? Life is not always going to go our way. That’s not how life is supposed to be. We’re supposed to grow and evolve and strengthen and align. Life can be gritty, right? But we move through and we get stronger and stronger. We move from deeper waters. So it’s not so much about avoiding all the tough times, but being in a rut is like, eh, I kind of fell down and I’m not getting back up. I’m not picking myself back up. So when we stay connected, which is really what the four cornerstones are about, really connecting all the dots, all the levels of our being. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, we stay more connected inside. So then we discern what our bodies need, what we need mentally.
Kimberly: Maybe I just need to rest. Maybe I need to cry. Maybe I need to have a grounding meal. Maybe I need to eat something lighter. Maybe I need to go for a walk instead of lifting weights. Maybe I need a more intense workout today to work out some energy. Maybe I need to call a friend. Maybe I just need to be really quiet right now. Self-connection is the way, the path forward into discerning how we self-soothe, how we heal, how we rejuvenate, how we deeply love ourselves.
Kimberly: So the four cornerstones is the path to more self-connection. And we have resources for you in all of these cornerstones. So food-wise, check out our 30 day roadmap for healthy weight loss, check out all our recipes, check out my earlier books. Body-wise, we have the best supplements in the world, as far as I’m concerned, for really tuning your body up. SBO probiotics, detoxy, digestive enzymes. It’s amazing. High-performance non-toxic skincare to take care of your largest organ. And emotionally, we have our journal prompts. We have the Solluna circle, which is my amazing love. I love our community and the circles so much. We are so close and we support each other so much. And then spiritually, I’m putting out meditations now every week. So you can check them out in the app and on the website as well. I’m really here for you spiritually. I am very passionate about sharing this. As always, I always like to share what has helped me tremendously and meditation is the way that will help everything else click. Trust me.
Kimberly: So I love you all so much. I will be back here on Monday for our next Q… Being scrambled here. For our next interview podcast. Till then, take great care, check out the resources. I will also see you on social @_KimberlySnyder. Sending you much, much love from my heart to yours. See you back here soon.