Is It Possible to Find a Healthy Spiritual Balance within Your Relationship? [Episode #643]
Today’s solocast topic is: Is It Possible to Find a Healthy Spiritual Balance within Your Relationship?
I want to talk about this topic because it’s not just your relationship with your significant other but really your relationships in life across the board. Whether it’s coworkers, friends, neighbors, or family members, all relationships are influenced and impacted from the blueprint of the relationship with the self. As we talk about it here in our community, with the true self, so going beyond the ego, and really working to find this stable place of centeredness inside of ourselves.
And when we do that, we then create relationships from that healthy, balanced place within ourselves. And it makes all our relationships harmonious and so much deeper, connected and more loving because we’re not transposing our needs onto others. The needs that we need to give to ourselves to find the happiness and the stability within ourselves first, otherwise all relationships become hungry and restless.
The answer is finding a spiritual balance within your life, where we’re not just looking at what we see with our physical eyes, and we start to tune into energy and spirit inside of us and in all things. Then life just becomes more expansive. We don’t have the same sort of urges to control things and manipulate.
I’m so excited about this topic. It really has the potential to influence our year ahead. As we look at how our relationship is going with ourselves within our spiritual growth cornerstone, and then how this applies to all others.
Topics Covered In Is It Possible to Find a Healthy Spiritual Balance within Your Relationship?
#1. What spirituality means and the true self
#2. The way we communicate with others and how this impacts your relationships
#3. Recentering yourself through meditation
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Hi Beauties and welcome to our Monday solocast, Happy New Year. I’m so excited to ring in the new year and to step forward into this year 2022, just feeling really inspired and aligned and in our fullest energy, our fullest potential and the topic for this week, I think is really timely along with all these good vibe thoughts to start the year, it is. Is It Possible to Find a Healthy Spiritual Balance within your Relationship?And I wanted to talk about this topic this week, because it’s not just relationship with your significant other <affirmative>, but really your relationships in life across the board, whether it’s coworkers, friends, neighbors, family members, all relationships are influenced and impacted from the blueprint of the relationship with self. And specifically as we talk about it here in our community with the true self, so going beyond the go, but really working to find this stable place of, um, centeredness inside of ourselves.
And when we do that, we then create relationships from that healthy, balanced place within ourselves. And it makes all our relationships harmonious so much deeper and more connected. <affirmative> more loving because we’re not putting our needs. We’re not transposing our needs onto others. The needs that we need to give to ourselves to find the happiness and the stability within ourselves first, otherwise all relationships become hungry and restless. So this is a really important topic. We’re gonna get into way more detail all about what I’m talking about here, but yes, the answer is finding a spiritual balance within your life, where we’re not just looking at the forms and the density, what we see with our physical eyes, but we start to tune into energy and again, to spirit inside of us and in all things, and then life just becomes more expansive. We don’t have the same sort of, um, urges to control things and manipulate.
There’s a lot less stress in that way. So we experience more flow and opening up in our bodies, in our hormones and our health and our energy, because we’re not taking up all this attention in drama and relationships. We’re not displacing our core needs. So I’m so excited about this topic. It really has the potential to influence our year ahead. As we look at how is our relationship going with ourselves with, um, in our spiritual growth category, in our cornerstone, and then how does that apply to all others?
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So before we get even more into it, I want to give a shout out to our fan of the week. Her name is mamalala1984. She writes Tylee recommend. I have loved Kimberly’s books and recipes for a while now. And her evolution has expanded with her cornerstones for wellbeing. This podcast is a must for practical advice on all things, inspiring health and wellness wise.
I just love the wisdom she shares and her manner is so calm. It’s been a black for me. Well, thank you so much. mamalala1984 for being our fan of the week. I am so honored and excited that you’re part of our community. Thank you so much for your kind words. I give you a big virtual hug wherever you are. And again, I feel very blessed and very grateful that you are with us and be for your chance to also be shouted out as the fan of the week.
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So all that being said, let’s get into our topic today. Is it possible to find a healthy, spiritual balance within your relationship? Again, I was thinking within your relationship because we get a lot of questions about how do I navigate my path forward and what feels good to me with my partner as well. And this question used to come about a lot with food, and we used to get a lot of questions about, oh, I wanna be plant based or more plant based. My partner is so not on the same page. And now we’re talking about in a spiritual balance, um, context.
What spirituality means and the true self
So what that means is for me, spirituality is about what more self-awareness and more awakening and more expansion to what there is in life. And it’s more than just what we see with our physical eyes. It’s when we start to go into this centered place, we, we touch our true self when we are in meditation. So we get to this place of calmness, steadiness beyond thought when Eckart Tolle was talking about going beyond thought all those years ago, when I first read his books, I didn’t fully grasp what he was saying, but now I realize it’s in these moments of true stillness that we cultivate again, through a regular meditation practice.
We start to tune into that. We are more than just the surface. We’re more than what we look like more than what we just do. So when we want to influence energy, when we want to create more of what we want, we’re not just working on the surface of things. We start to work with our energy inside of us. We start to work on how we show up moment to moment, day to day, and the energy that we bring and our ability to process life as it comes to metabolize feelings and annoyances and reactions, just as we metabolize food and to continue to let go so that we live more and more from the stable place of unconditional love and expansion. So the ego is what keeps us small and looking around and comparing ourselves and keeping our lives really small. And it also works to keep our relationships full of drama and bickering.
When we’re just caught on the surface of life, it means we get easily annoyed about, oh, well, I wanted to eat at this restaurant and you wanna to eat at that one, or you said you were gonna do this. And then now I’ve asked you three times and you still haven’t done it. And then the person on the other side says, oh, this person just keeps nagging me and nagging me. And it’s easy to get caught up again in this every day, just drama bickering, going through life on the surface. And so the way to break free of that is not to try to, you know, smooth out the bickering a little bit, or to go in the same place where the, the problem is the solution isn’t going to be found in the same place. It’s to expand our perspective of life, our experience of life.
And we do that again, not just being in the hustle and the everyday running around anxiousness, trying to add more and more to our to-do list, but taking time to connect to self self with a capital S the true self. Again, we can say spirit individualized inside of us. We can say this part of us that is infinitely creative and calm and has this ability to have deeper understanding. And so we find that place inside of us first. And again, we seek this through stillness, introspection, journaling practices, and especially meditation. And this is why our fourth cornerstone spiritual growth is such an integral part of this. So it’s, you know, in the morning we’re waking up, we’re making hot water with lemon and Glowing Green Smoothie®. We’re meditating. So we’re not just doing physical action steps, but we’re nurturing the spirit inside of us, our own energy and our connection to this.
And then when we do that, we find that empathy grows more and more in our lives. We find that we are more of the heart. We are more compassionate. We feel the spirit true self rising up inside of us. And so from this place, this place of deeper awareness, we can then take a fresh energy into our current relationship, even if it’s felt stagnant lately, or there’s been a lot of bickering and not a lot of understanding, we can start with a fresh G or we can take it as we go forward and, and are open to a new relationship coming in. If we happen to be single, or we’re now feeling open to allowing love partnership to come in, we wanna come in with this relationship with ourselves first, very balanced and steady. Because as I mentioned in the beginning of the podcast, it means that our relationship with other people isn’t going to be hungry.
It isn’t always going to be fraught with drama and all these ways, misunderstandings, when we want someone to speak to us in a specific way, or look at us or see us, because we start to understand ourselves more, more of this awakening, more of the spiritual growth, more enlightenment is being shed on our path. So we see relationships for what they are, which is sharing life, sharing experiences, supporting each other on our journeys, that, of the need, again, to be seen, or to be fulfilled, or to be talked to in a really hyper specific way, which I think causes so much misunderstanding. So again, as we start our discussion, I’ll say that first off, no matter if you’re in partnership now, or you are not, you would like to be, or maybe you don’t wanna be wherever you are. Relationship with self again, with the true self capital S not the little ego self is the most important thing to nurture, um, at this time to really get to know yourself and to spend time with yourself.
And then you’ll start to see that you really are a lot more resilient and strong than you realized, and that you have the ability to coach yourself through different situations in life. You don’t always need someone to validate you or to agree with your feelings. You don’t always have to spout them. You can really start to, again, just Val validate your experiences, process experiences, let them go. And then what is their left to do in relationship is to share, to be love, to share love. And it takes out so much of the smallness and the pettiness that the awe and the wonder, and the profound beauty in relationships away when we’re just caught up in the daily little humdrum things. So, first of all, let’s just pause and think about that for your own life. How can you nurture your relationship with yourself more as we begin this year, 2022, how can you really prioritize it?
I would highly recommend if you haven’t yet already committed to a daily morning meditation practice to make that part of your daily ritual, the most important part of your morning practice is to center yourself, to breathe down into your belly, to feel your body, and to feel this moment and to get really present before you get into eating and being more susceptible, potentially to food cravings, trying to soothe you because you haven’t yet really found the time to connect with yourself and to be less reactive and to be more responsive to people around, cuz again, you are centered in steadiness and love and equanimity. And from this place of more empowered confidence, you worry less what other people are doing. And you certainly compare yourself less. As you walk around the world, it doesn’t happen overnight, but more by more you march forward in your practice and this expands in your life again.
And from here, then you start to take a different approach to relationships. You see spirit in yourself, you recognize this whole being striving to live and to, you know, go through life. And so you find this compassion, you see the light more in other people. So this transforms the spiritual balance because it can out instead of just getting caught up in the nagging and the to-do lists and oh, you did this or you didn’t do this. And I didn’t do this. And all of the surface stuff, you start to look across at this person. And again, we could be talking about partnership, romantic love, or they talk, be talking about roommate, friendship, familial, whatever coworker, love, um, coworker relationships. And you look over and you start to go beyond just the everyday. Of course, we need to take care of our to-do list, but you also start to see the, I have so glorious of the soul in front of you.
The fact that life is here, that light has made its way into physical form. And there is this unique soul, this essence, this beautiful being in front of you. And it does start to change your entire relationship. And the other person need do nothing in this regard because it’s, you that’s changed your relationship with yourself. And so, excuse me, you, you see more in other people that love this word, Rishi, the seer, you see more, see more in yourself, you see the light and you see the light in others.
And so right off the bat, I just wanted to be clear that when you transform your relationship, the other person need do nothing necessarily for your relationship with them to radically transform as you’ve shifted within yourself.
The way we communicate with others and how this impacts your relationships
Now, the second thing here I wanna talk about is communication. When I would talk about this, this question a little bit more about food, when people would say, oh, I’m eating plant based and my partner wants to continue to eat meat. They’re not on board. What do I do? And it was really about communication and the way that we communicate in a non accusatory way, in a way that is not about making someone right or wrong, but we really just sharing the human experience of, Hey, well, I just feel better eating this way. I’m not pushing it on you. If you’re open to hearing more about my reasons, that’s cool. If not, that’s cool too. Just know that this is how I’m gonna eat going forward. And it really just is what feels good to me.
And so I would suggest the same thing here in any relationship where you are wanting to go deeper and expand. You can say, Hey, so I’ve gotten really into meditation now, or I am living my life with more focus on the spiritual on the awakening. I wanna understand myself more. I know that, uh, you know, we’re not just physical beings and, um, connect, spending more time connecting and stillness meditation. I wanna share this with you. I wanna see, you know, maybe if you’re open to sharing some of these practices with me, um, if you’re not that’s okay, I totally respect where you are, but I just wanted to open the door to that. Maybe you are now you’re not, but just know that if you are down the road, if you’re not, now we can, you know, talk about it, what that looks like. And if you’re interested in hearing more about what I’m doing, I’m, you know, blah, blah, blah, meditating in the morning in the evening, da da, da. So just having a really honest conversation with your partner about where you are, I think is so important just to lay things out and for, you know, communication takes away threats and, you know, feeling like, oh, what’s this per you know, what are, what are they doing now? And not sure what’s going on. So the communication part’s important.
And then also, um, seeing how, you know, again, depending on your partner’s, um, openness levels, how time can be spent individually on working on your spiritual practices and together as a couple or as a friendship. So what does that look like? It could be as simple as you know, before we eat dinner, it would be great if we could do a gratitude practice together or pause, or if you’re again, open to meditating together, whatever that is or going through some questions, you know, these journaling prompts sometimes it’s nice to share whatever it is and seeing if there is that balance. No, do not be discouraged. If your partner is not interested in what you are doing at all.
I will say my with my five year old son with Emerson, with Bobby, sometimes he’s open to meditating and he even brings it up to me. Sometimes I’m like, mama, I wanna meditate with you now, mama, I wanna do yoga with you now. And he actually brings it up to me and sometimes I bring it up to him and sometimes he says, yes, and sometimes he doesn’t, but it’s more about the openness and knowing that there isn’t any judgment in our relationship that I think allows for this beautiful unfolding of the balance. And he certainly knows that every day mama goes down into that woman cave and meditates. And he knows that during those times it’s best not to come down and interrupt mama. So he sees me living this life and there’s this respect. And also beyond what we specifically talk about, there is this beautiful way in our relationship, which is beyond surface. You know, when we, when we live more from the true self, it means we are living from our hearts, we’re living from intuition.
So we’re going again past just the hum drum, just the surface stuff, surface conversations, but really going into to feelings and connection and the way that we look at each other way, we hold space, the way you’re around people, when you’re in this deeper depth of being this, it’s not so much what’s said or what’s done, but it’s really just the quality of presence and being together and so powerful. So, um, another thing I wanna bring up is, so again, so time, you know, whether that’s just in some practices that you do together, or if your partner, you know, again, through communication, you, you wanna let them know that you are gonna be meditating daily. It’s that person understanding and respecting that you’re gonna have a certain amount of time. So that balance is there where you’re going to be off meditating or doing, you know, your introspection, your journaling practices, whatever it is, so that you really have that understanding between you.
Because again, I think, um, if that communication isn’t there and someone’s starting to spend a lot of time to the other person, doesn’t know what’s going on, then it can create an imbalance. It can create some, um, dis harmoniousness or resentment in your relationship. And of course we wanna avoid that. So communication is important laying out time practices that maybe you practice together or separately. And the next thing is intention and goal <affirmative>. And as you let’s just say, you are in a relationship with a significant other, who is he or she is open to creating more balance together, having that intention and the goal to support each other in progressing, I think is really important. So that’s the intention as you go into it, we are here to show up for each other. We are here to support spiritual growth within each other and within, within ourselves.
So my hub and I just talked about this in the car. We were driving back yesterday, actually from, um, this beautiful canyon, we’d gone on a, a hike and it wasn’t the easiest of the kids, but it was beautiful. We were talking in the car about goals for 2022. And I was saying, you know, where I am in my life now biggest goal hands down is for the rising up of the true self and me, the rising up of spirit of God inside of me, whatever word do wanna use the universal intelligence is allowing it to come forward and to be here and to do, um, you know, what, what, it’s, how it’s meant to create, how it’s meant to help our others. And so I said, and also in supporting that in you, babe, and he and I, so as partners, our number one goal is to allow that because each of us is this individual essence.
So we’re here to grow and evolve to reach our souls fullest potential. And it’s so important as partners that we support that in our partner, that we really see the light in them. We help them expand into their true progress into connecting to the true self, not living life on the lack, based with the lack based ego, leading the way, but rather with love and expansion and more and more of this intuitive knowing of who we are, knowing that we are this beautiful, complete soul that is here with a purpose. And we live more and more from this place of deeper knowing as we meditate day in and day out. And so there’s some things that we try to, you know, get a quick fix on. We try to take shortcuts and recipes, or we premix things. You know, we pre chop <laugh>, we keep frozen bananas in the freezer so we can make our GS faster.
Recentering yourself through meditation
We do certain things. But one of the things that I think is, you know, the highest form of human activity and something that we really can’t skip or get around is our time in meditation. We spend our most of our lives, outer elderly, looking out, doing planning, thinking, overthinking, emailing in conversation in, I check matter in looking at social media and reading things that move us forward. And maybe some things that don’t move us forward so much, but we’re constantly doing and doing, and meditation is the chance to really take a pause and recenter and come back into ourselves and to come back into, you know, taking this moment in its fullness, heightening our intuition so that we may, we have more power behind our actions and we take right action in a place of more flow. When we take away the frantic running around and just doing, doing, doing, but we really sit, this is what spiritual balance gives our lives.
It gives us more flow, less mistakes, more, um, being this living from this expansive place, more love less mistakes because there’s less hurrying. So there’s less to clean up. And then we start to more, we deepen our relationships with other people. So let’s just take a little reset right now. I’m just inspired in this moment for us to do the expanding, the gaps practice, which is in, um, chapter four of the new book. You are more than you think you are. This is a preliminary chapter into going into meditation. So there’s subsequently three more chapters about going deeper and deeper into this type of meditation. That’s inspired by Korea yoga, and it fits in with our practical enlightenment meditations. It’s how we’re not just relaxing the senses, but we’re actually creating this union with the truth self with this expansive part of us, this part of equanimity and calmness and deep, deep knowingness. So when we find these little gaps in between the inhales and the exhales, it’s when we find a real pause of stillness. And then when we start to access these points of these real gaps, it means that we can access these gaps more and more easily in our lives. They start to expand. We start to be able to drop into the gaps more and more. And so again, these gaps are peace. Beli.
We start to feel that we are more, we know that we are more and more fulfilled within ourselves. So we don’t need so much from our relationship other than to share and to give love, to be there for each other, but not in the needy way, not in a way where we are imposing our needs, but rather we are really just sharing life and flowing. So we’ll do this practice now, which literally just takes a moment. So wherever you are, you can be driving in your car right now. You don’t have to close your eyes, but you’ve heard if you’re in a place, you can close your eyes. If you like, I’m gonna close my eyes as well as I sit here on my porch, you know, why take a exhale and just breathe all the air out of your lungs.
And now take a slow deep inhaler, count of four, inhaling 2, 3, 4, then pause at the top. Just keep the breath in and then slow exhale for count 4, 2, 3, 4, and keep the breath out. Lungs empty at the bottom of the breath. Nice and relax. And then inhale 2, 3, 4, and again, pause full at the top. Just completely relaxed finding this point of stillness and then exhale, 2, 3, 4, and pause empty at the bottom with the lungs empty again, just feeling very relaxed and then inhale 2, 3, 4, pause full at the top, and then exhale, 2, 3, 4, pause, empty at the bottom, and then take a deep breath in, keep breathing normally now. Ah, and I hope even for just a micro moment, just for a micro moment, you’re able to really feel the stillness and to know that it’s possible to create more and more of that in your life. And the more, the rising of that stillness is the rising of your connection to the true self inside of you. It is possible for you to connect more and more deeply to this place, this inner resource inside of you. And to bring that forward. And even though you do nothing else in your relationship, but do that your relationships, relationships plural across your life will start to transform because you will have more access to love and bliss, peace, intuition, understanding, and you will be able to smooth out more and more of the normal <laugh> in, in harmonies, daily life and daily relationships.
As you create more of that depth and experiential knowing is the most powerful thing we can do for relationships. And besides that, as I mentioned, you want to be sure to communicate with your partner where you’re at, see what they’re open to, what practices are rituals, meditations. They may or may not wanna do together to maybe create an intention. And again, this can be one sided if your partner’s not there, but your intention this year in 2022 can be around the rising up of your connection to your true self and in seeing your partner more.
And so allowing that love to grow between you again, you can create all of this on your own, or you can enlist your partner if they’re open to it, but we never wanna push. We always wanna have respect for where someone is just as we wanna respect where we are as we March forward into this new year into the emerging light and the connection to the light inside of us, knowing that this light and this calmness can transform everything in our lives, better relationship with food, um, more health, more vitality slowing down aging, more hormonal balance, calmer, nervous system, more energy to get through the day, more creative solutions, more love and joy with your children, with your families, more fulfillment and manifestation of your dreams from this calm place. We discern new solutions and opportunities that we did not have access to before. So I’m so excited to start the year off with this topic and really just highlighting how important with the self is capital S.
I cannot wait to support you more as we go further into the year. My greatest offering of support right now is the new book. You are more than you think you are practical enlightenment for everyday life. I cannot wait to share more of these profound teachings with you. I’ve come from the ease they’ve come from. Paramahansa Yogananda and the great texts of India, supportive science, personal stories that I weave in to illustrate the absolute practicality and usefulness of all of these teachings. First time I’ve written about any of this, and I cannot wait to share my full playbook playbook with you in just a few weeks. Books will start, start shipping out, um, probably around the 18th of January.
So until then, please be sure to, uh, claim your presale bonuses over at mysolluna.com. Please be sure to check out these show notes for other podcasts, recipes, meditations that I think you would enjoy very much and lots of information on there. I’ll be back here Thursday as well for our next Q&A podcast till then happiest of new year’s I’m. So for our year ahead, I’m so excited to connect with you more, sending you so much love so much bliss and so much peace. Namaste.