This week’s topic is: How to Renew and Strengthen Relationships
We’ve been getting so many different questions about relationships, which makes total sense, because this is such an interesting time where we have been forced to introspect, to go deep and to look at our lives. This includes looking at our relationships and this starts with our relationship with ourselves.
Today we’re going to talk about that as well, because it affects all of our other relationships. We are also going to talk about other relationships as well because relationships shape our lives. And right now, because of the global situation, we may be in close proximity with our loved ones.
Maybe we don’t have the quality time, maybe we’re not really connecting, or maybe there’s been a distance between us and loved ones that are far away. How do we best communicate in those instances? All around relationships are super important and can have an enormous impact on our lives and I look forward to sharing tips that I use personally.
Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!
Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/
Molly – Kansas
I feel distant from my husband even though we’ve been working from home during the virus. You would think we’d be closer but it’s been the complete opposite. Where should we start to help rebuild what we’ve had in the past?
Emma – New Jersey
Is it strange to want a better relationship with myself? I mean, how we talk to ourselves seems to matter just as much as with others. What do you think?
Felicity – California
My partner and I agreed that we need to rekindle our relationship. We used to be more lovey dovey and in the past year it seems we’re not as interested in each other. Can we improve our relationship without feeling like it’s a bad thing?
Winona – Pennsylvania
My husband would like to renew our vows, however, I think it goes deeper than that. To me it’s not about reading off some words in some perfunctory way. How can I get this across to him and suggestions on how to renew without the vow part?
I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!
There are lots of ways to share your responses or questions about the podcast:
- Comment below
- Connect on Twitter: @_kimberlysnyder
- Follow the conversation on my Instagram
- Comment on my Facebook Page
- Ask a question: mysolluna.com/askkimberly
HOW TO SUBSCRIBE
You may be really intrigued by podcasts, but you may just know how to listen or subscribe. It’s very easy, I promise! To listen to more than one episode, and to have it all in a handier way, on your phone or tablet, it’s way better to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the “Feel Good Podcast with Kimberly Snyder”? My passion is to inspire and empower you to be your most authentic and beautiful self. We offer interviews with top experts, my personal philosophies and experiences, as well as answers to community-based questions around topics such as health, beauty, nutrition, yoga, spirituality and personal growth.
The intention of the Feel Good Podcast is to well…help you really Feel Good in your body, mind and spirit! Feeling Good means feeling peaceful, energized, whole, uniquely beautiful, confident and joyful, right in the midst of your perfectly imperfect life. This podcast is as informative and full of practical tips and take-aways as it is inspirational. I am here to support you in being your very best! I have so much love and gratitude for you. Thank you for tuning in and being part of the community :).
LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES
Listeners really respect the views of other listeners, so your response helps people find good material they are interested in! If you enjoyed the podcast, please tell your friends and give us a rating or review. Many thanks in advance.
Inspirational Thought of the Week
Your relationship with yourself will be mirrored in all your other relationships.
- Setting Your Intentions for the New Year
- SBO Probiotics
- Digestive Enzymes
- Feel Good Starter Kit
- FREE Gift: 7-Day Meditation Series (DIGITAL COURSE)
- Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life
- Be a part of the community Join the Feel Good Circle
- Kimberly Snyder’s Books
- Four Cornerstones FREE PDF: Text the word: feelgood (833) 744-0079
- Additional resources in transcript
Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:
- Emotionally Navigating Through Relationships
- Navigating Relationships While Protecting Your Own Energy!
- Improve Relationships with Carol Allen
- Optimizing Sex, Relationships, Work and Motherhood with Alisa Vitti
Powered and Distributed by: PodcastOne
Feel Good Digestive Enzymes: Use code: wellness15 for 15% off
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly: 00:01 Hey Beauties, and welcome back to our Thursday Q&A community podcast, where our topic today is an amazing one: How to Renew and Strengthen Relationships.
Kimberly: 00:12 We’ve been getting so many different questions about relationships, which makes total sense, because this is such an interesting time where we have been forced to introspect and to go deep and to look at our lives. And that of course includes looking at our relationships. And this starts, of course, with our relationship with ourselves. And we’re going to talk about that today as well, because that affects all of our other relationships, but we’re going to talk about other relationships as well because relationships shape our lives. And right now, because of the global situation, we may be in close proximity with our loved ones, but maybe we don’t have the quality time, or maybe we’re not really connecting, or maybe there’s been a distance between us and loved ones that are far away. How do we best communicate in those instances as well? So all around relationships are super important, as we all know, and can have an enormous, enormous impact on our lives.
Please leave a review on iTunes
Kimberly: 01:16 Before we go into it, I love the questions for the show. I actually did glance at them today. So you definitely have been submitting some amazing ones. I just want to give you a quick reminder to please leave us a review on iTunes, which is such an amazing way to support the show. Right from the bottom of my heart, I thank you in advance just for taking a minute to do it. It could be one sentence, but it really does help. It supports the show. It helps other beauties in finding the show. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And please be sure to subscribe to our show. And that way, you don’t miss out on any of these interview podcasts, solocast podcasts on Mondays, or these community shows on Thursday.
Download Solluna’s Free App
Kimberly: 01:55 I also want to quickly mention if you love the podcast, you’re really going to love our Solluna Circle, which is on our app. So you can download the free app. And then there’s a membership part for the circle, which is all about connection. It’s all about really holding space for each other and seeing each other and being here for each other. And there is a live Zoom every month where we hold a live circle together, where we can see each other and speak to each other. There’s daily tips, there’s meditations, elixir recipes and more. So please do check that out as well. All right, let’s get into our show today.
Question #1 around the topic of: How to Renew and Strengthen Relationships: I feel distant from my husband, even though we’ve been working from home during the virus. You would think we’d be closer, but it’s been the complete opposite. Where should we start to help rebuild what we’ve had in the past?
Kimberly: 02:32 The first question comes from Molly who lives in Kansas and she writes, “I feel distant from my husband, even though we’ve been working from home during the virus. You would think we’d be closer, but it’s been the complete opposite. Where should we start to help rebuild what we’ve had in the past?”
Kimberly: 02:49 Molly, thank you so much for your question, my love. I give you a big virtual hug. This is something that I think is echoed throughout the collective. I think a lot of people are having this experience where they may be in close proximity to their family members, to their loved ones, but they still feel that distance, and they still feel disconnected. So I think the deep, deep heart, the root of healthy relationships is true connection. What I mean by connection, it means that we can see each other and we can hear each other and we witness each other and we simply accept each other where we are. It doesn’t mean that we don’t create healthy boundaries. It doesn’t mean that sometimes there’s actions and behaviors that need to shift or change, but it starts with the connection. It starts with first of all, wanting to connect. And then putting in the effort to connect in a deeper way.
Kimberly: 03:49 Just because we’re around each other doing the dishes or cleaning out the garage or working side by side on our computers, that doesn’t mean that we are connecting. We need to put aside the effort. Put aside the time and the effort.
Kimberly: 04:07 For me, I think it means really making space for that connection. I would say regularly, the amount of time isn’t as important as the quality. So the quality time where we put down our phones, where we’re not just watching TV and not… When you watch TV, you’re tuning in to the screen, you’re tuning into that media form. Your full attention isn’t tuning into each other. So first of all, we want to put aside that time. And if it feels weird or just abrupt to all of a sudden sit on the couch, just me and you and no TV and nothing else and now we’re just going to talk all of a sudden, then it may be a better transition or a better idea to go for a walk together. If you have a dog, you can walk the dog or maybe just walk around the local neighborhood or the park, wherever is safe right now for you. And if it’s cold, if it’s possible to bundle up and do it, or maybe if it’s too cold, you could just do a project together around the house or simply have a nice meal together. But the point is, just no phones. Just real quality time. It could start in small increments.
Kimberly: 05:29 Another thing that you can do, which I have heard some other podcast listeners mention that they’ve done this, is to put aside time before bed, bedside chat time, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Again, without the phone. If you’ve moved a little bit away from affection, maybe it’s not just cuddling and snuggling up close. Maybe you’re sitting next to each other and looking at each other. And this becomes the beginning of rekindling. I think that no matter what, we all really want that deep connection. We’re searching for it and we express it in different ways. Maybe we’re looking for connection through showing off the way we look or the car we drive just a whole host of different ways, the whole range, but at the root of it, we want that connection.
Kimberly: 06:26 And so I think first of all, it’s putting the value there. And second of all, it’s setting aside the time and the quality time.
Kimberly: 06:34 And then third of all, this idea of active listening, I think is really important. We don’t want to interrupt each other. We don’t want to just talk and mindlessly listen where we’re really thinking about something else. We really want to listen to our partner. We want to look at them in their eyes. And if they feel seen and heard, that is like pressing a button. It’s like, “Woo, click. We connect. We connect. This person sees me.” And again, it can just start five minutes here and there, but I think it’s really powerful time that is so well spent and just pays so many dividends towards really rekindling in your words, Molly, what you’ve had in the past.
Kimberly: 07:27 I think even though, again, you may be working from home, you may be around each other, but in the sense that can feel almost more disconnecting if you’re not taking the time to connect. I think also physical connection is important. So maybe you start with a little five-minute massage exchange or rubbing each other’s feet or just lying in bed together, chatting, like I said before, but touch, I think is a wonderful way to bring back that… I keep saying the word connection, because it really is what I’m talking about. Just feeling that unity together.
Kimberly: 08:11 We have other questions around this topic. I’m going to give more ideas. I’ll leave it here with what I’ve suggested so far, but I will say too, if you’re looking to hear each other and to explore more about each other, maybe like you did at the beginning of your relationship, when you were going on your first dates. I do circles with hubby and we do them periodically. And definitely we did one on Valentine’s day, New Years, birthdays, like certain junctures like that. But sometimes in between.
Kimberly: 08:47 And my New Year’s questions are still relevant right now. So if you’d like, I’m going to screenshot the questions (see below image). If you’re looking for some kind of base, it can give you some ideas. You can create your own questions, but I will put them in the show notes. I will have Nicol put them in the show notes so you can check them out if you want Molly, over at mysolluna.com. But I just think opening up conversation, connection. Again, eye contact, listening, asking questions to each other, not interrupting, and just really being together is how you start to rekindle. It’s not all the doing like, “I’m going to do this for you. I’m going to go wash your car. I’m going to do this. I’m going to take out the garbage.” I mean, that’s important and that’s one of the love languages. I think is… What is it? Acts of service, something like that. But I think that can be a way we express, but also the deep connection, just being together, talking. And sometimes just touching and not talking, but definitely not being distracted by TV are ways to really start going there.
Question #2 around the topic of: How to Renew and Strengthen Relationships: Is it strange to want a better relationship with myself? I mean, how we talk to ourselves seems to matter just as much as with others. What do you think?
Kimberly: 09:58 Next question comes from Emma. She lives in New Jersey and she writes, “Is it strange to want a better relationship with myself? I mean, how we talk to ourselves seems to matter just as much as with others. What do you think?”
Kimberly: 10:10 Emma, this is very insightful of you, my love. Thank you so much for your question. You already have the answer within your question and you already know the truth. It is, the relationship with ourself is primary to everything else. When we foster a deep connection with ourselves, we can connect more deeply with others. We can love others. We can be more compassionate with others if we’re more compassionate with ourselves. However we are with ourselves gets mirrored out, it gets reflected back through our relationships and the quality of our relationships. And if we’re in a place where we are disconnected from ourselves, as we’ve all been, and I’ve been in the past, then that will definitely be mirrored in relationships.
Kimberly: 10:55 I’ve had somewhat of a rocky road with romantic relationships, all the way back from middle school and high school. No questioning relationship, staying in relationships too long, all sorts of things. And this comes from not really being connected to my deep, deep, deep truth.
Kimberly: 11:17 So wanting a better relationship with yourself means that you spend time with yourself. It means that you grow in your comfort with yourself. It means that you prioritize loving yourself. And again, this connection.
Kimberly: 11:36 I think this is a good time to talk about our four cornerstones because when we work on our relationship with ourselves, I promise our relationship with everything and everyone else gets better. It means that we’re not seeking outside of ourselves for love. We don’t put excess expectations on others, which can feel burdensome and can feel like a lot of pressure. It means that we don’t have to project our trauma and our heaviness on to others because we can feel it in ourselves and we’ve created a relationship where we can see ourselves. And we can be there for ourselves and we can validate ourselves. So it’s so important to create a healthy relationship with yourself, no matter where you are. And of course, over time, this relationship with yourself will continue to deepen and unfold, but just by act of putting energy into it and focus on it, it will start to transform.
Kimberly: 12:35 Let’s talk about the cornerstones.
Kimberly: 12:39 Food wise, your relationship with food starts to shift from, “Oh, I’m just in my head. This is what I should be eating. This is what I…” Just this plan that I have to stick to line by line. I’ve always said, modify the recipes and listen to your body. And portion size wise, because I really just don’t believe in numbers, defining everything we do. We have to know our own bodies and we fill up with fiber, but we can’t just be in our heads when it comes to food. To deeply connect, to have a wonderful relationship with yourself, from a food perspective, it’s a moment to moment, day to day asking yourself, tuning in, “What do I need right now? Am I hungry or am I full? What does my body need? How can I best nourish myself?” Again, this active listening. Listening to your own needs is very important when it comes to food.
Kimberly: 13:42 Body is our second cornerstone, and this is everything beyond food that has to do with our bodies. So supplements, sleep, exercise. You can again, keep tuning into your body and say, “What is the best way for me to move my body today? Maybe I feel a bit depleted, my period’s coming. Maybe it’s not the best time to do a CrossFit workout. Maybe I just want to do some Yen yoga or maybe I want to go on a hike.” So tuning in and listening to your body means you start to grow in respect, self-respect, and you start to really, as Charlotte Avery, who was on our podcast on Monday, use this term, self-language. You start to tune in in a way you communicate with yourself, that’s beyond words, but it’s its own language. It’s the way that your body speaks to you through sensations and feelings and energy that rises up. Is something that you can learn to tune into. And that will definitely strengthen the relationship with yourself.
Kimberly: 14:49 Our third cornerstone is emotional wellbeing/mental health. Wanting a better relationship means, or having a better relationship means that you acknowledge your feelings and you don’t shame yourself or feel this guilt for what you feel. Simple awareness, simple mindfulness, just noticing and watching instead of wanting it to be something else is very powerful in, again, self-respect and self-connection. Because when we accept where we are, it means that we can be anything that we are, and it’s okay, and this will create so much compassion and understanding in all of your other relationships. But it also takes the pressure off yourself from trying to achieve everything and be perfect and look a certain way. And it’s very, very powerful to connect in emotionally and to notice your state of mental health and to notice if you need some support and to call it in. To call in the tribe, to call in the community. Again, like our Solluna Circle, and to take time to journal is a very powerful practice. To write down how you’re feeling and to express it to yourself.
Kimberly: 16:05 Our fourth cornerstone is spiritual growth. And again, this is all about connection with the deepest part of you, with spirit who is inside of you always. And so this is probably the most foundational in creating a better relationship because what it means is your sense of self goes back to where it’s meant to be, which is in your essence, in your soul, in your unique spirit. Instead of, “Oh, how’s my hair today?” Or, “Did I get another zit?” Or, “Did I gain five pounds?” All this external stuff. Of course, it’s nice to want great skin and gray hair. I want it too, and I’ve worked to create that, but beyond all that, that’s not really where our sense of self should come from. It needs to come from the inside of us. So the more we can meditate, the more we can create space for ourselves to be with ourselves and to simply be, and to notice and to feel, and to start to accept ourselves more. That is where the relationship with ourselves starts to take off and skyrocket. And again, this will positively affect all the other relationships in your life.
Kimberly: 17:18 If you are looking for meditations, they are over at the Solluna app. You can check them out for yourself. There’s a whole little section. Very easy to find the meditations in the meditation series.
Kimberly: 17:30 Thank you so much, Emma, for your question. This was a perfect question to tie together self and others. We are all connected, but the deepest connection that is so important to work with is your relationship with yourself, your relationship with spirit, and then that spills out into your relationship with all others.
Kimberly: 17:53 All right, my loves, we are going to take a short break and I will be right back after that to answer two more of your questions
Question #3 around the topic of: How to Renew and Strengthen Relationships: My partner and I agreed that we do need to rekindle our relationship. We used to be more lovey-dovey and in the past year, it seems we’re not as interested in each other. Can we improve our relationship without feeling like it’s a bad thing?
Kimberly: 18:09 All right, Beauties, the next question comes from Felicity in California. And she writes, “My partner and I agreed that we do need to rekindle our relationship. We used to be more lovey-dovey and in the past year, it seems we’re not as interested in each other. Can we improve our relationship without feeling like it’s a bad thing?”
Kimberly: 18:29 Well, Felicity, I love this question. There’s so much richness in this question. Thank you, my love. First part is thank God. Wonderful that you both agree to rekindle the relationship. I think it’s great already. You’re both on the same page. You’ve made the intention. Intention is so important. Intention creates. We create from that seed. Intention is like a seed that we plant. And if you both want to rekindle your relationship, then you most likely will be able to in the most powerful way, because there’s both of you involved.
Kimberly: 19:03 Now, the last part I want to address without feeling like it’s a bad thing. I think that we’re so used to judging ourselves and society and every facet within it. We judge how the coffee looks. We judge how other people dress. We judge every little tiny detail of everything. And I think this is a perfect space to bring in the idea of being-ness and just being together and working on connection. Doesn’t have to have any labels. It’s not a bad thing to work on a relationship. It’s just is. Like you’ve made that decision and you’re just doing it.
Kimberly: 19:47 I think maybe you’re alluding to, “Oh, we strayed.” And there’s some shame with that. I understand that because I feel in the past, when I have had breakups, there’s a part of us that feels like, “Oh, I failed at this relationship. I can’t believe this is happening,” blah, blah, blah. We tell all these stories. So first of all, I’d say, just drop the stories. You’ve made a decision, you have an intention and that’s what you’re going to create. None of it matters. The bad, the good. All this stuff, the stories, the comparing, the judgment just will need to drop away.
Kimberly: 20:27 And so I will say that it’s wonderful to put the intention into connection and to be interested in each other. So I will go back to some of the suggestions that I made earlier to Molly about putting aside quality time and really listening to each other. It’s so important that we see each other and hear each other, and we accept each other where we are. Then we can talk from a place of acceptance. If there’s something that we would like to shift or a need that we have that needs to be expressed and fulfilled, but we don’t attack each other, we don’t wish that someone was different than how they are. I think that the lovey-dovey, the affection is a natural extension of that beautiful connection. It flows out of it. It’s not something that can be contrived, but it comes.
Kimberly: 21:31 I’ll share a little bit about me and my hubby. A big thing has been really navigating the parenting part and the kids, because I naturally take on most of it and I love being a mom, but I have had to talk to hubby about stepping up a bit with his commitments and his time with them. And he’s such an amazing father and he loves them so much, but just having set times instead of random ones helps just gives me a little bit of space and a little bit of a break.
Kimberly: 22:10 When there’s deeper issues, we sit and we… Again, we’re not perfect and we definitely have arguments, but we’ve learned a lot. We try to come from the space of let us accept where we are. And he has expressed to me, “I feel a little uncomfortable with being alone sometimes, especially with Moses, because he’s just a little baby. I don’t know what I’m doing.” And so then we talk through that and it allows that space for that vulnerability to come through where we’re not judging and we’re not rejecting each other where we are. And then, “Oh, I can see how you feel a little bit reluctant about that.” Instead of me not knowing that or asking him, and then resentment would build up in me like, “Oh, you don’t never want to help,” and blah, blah, blah. So from there, from that connected place, then we work through things.
Kimberly: 23:06 And because we feel so connected and we talk to each other about our professional, personal things that we’re going through, there’s a level of vulnerability, like I said, but also trust that I can share this with my partner. And when we have trust and we can be vulnerable with each other and show ourselves and let ourselves be seen. And then our partner sees us, this exchange. I feel like that again, is where the affection comes in. And the really passionate, beautiful, love making that is important in relationships and just the hugging, the affection, the touch.
Kimberly: 23:52 So Felicity, I definitely think it can be rekindled. I think it grows. I think the intention is there. I definitely think that you want to put aside the time and for that quality time.
Kimberly: 24:07 And then also, I’d love to share a little bit about what this might look like from a cornerstone perspective. When you’re looking to connect and rekindle food wise, having meals together is a wonderful way to share. You can prepare meals together, or you can swap, but eating together and sharing together is a beautiful thing. And then I also love the idea… Hubby and I do this. I can offer it to you as an idea. Is to have a gratitude practice. So you could say what you’re grateful for about each other when you sit down or in general. And that’s a way to sort of kick off the conversation. Body lies, touch using oils, giving each other a massage, a foot rub, taking a shower together, taking a bath together. Hubby and I do that sometimes. Physical things you can do together or exercising going for a walk, sharing in physical activity is really beautiful for connection.
Kimberly: 25:15 And then emotionally, I mentioned this earlier, I’m going to post the New Year’s circle that hubby and I did together, which was the last circle we did together. A screenshot of it on the show notes if you want to try having that sort of experience with your hubby. So to do a circle together, you could just, again, just create a safe, loving space, nothing crazy, nothing too formal. It could be on the couch, on the floor, in your bed. Hubby and I usually do it in the bed and we just ask each other the questions back and forth. And we usually light a candle and we keep the atmosphere soft. If you want to drink a glass of wine or have some music playing, whatever it is, you can create the atmosphere. You can go as far as you want with it. You could just do two questions or I think there’s like 10 or 12 on there, whatever it is. You can just connect and share.
Kimberly: 26:04 And I think taking the time to ask our partner, “What is your biggest dream right now?” Or, “What is your biggest goal this year? What is something that you’re really wanting to call in?” All these different questions, deeper questions beyond the daily banter of, “Oh, honey, could you clean my car out today? Which one of us is going to go to the post office?” Just that kind of surface talk is important to function in daily life, but we also want to make space for the deeper conversations to happen.
Kimberly: 26:40 And then spiritually, just being together. If your partner is open to meditating together or doing some breath work or just being in nature, sitting on the lawn lounging in nature, which may not be possible right now, because I know it’s February, it’s cold for many of you. But just in your living room, just hanging out without the TV on and enjoying a cup of warm tea. Stillness and silence, connection, quality conversation. To me, this is part of the spiritual ways we can connect with our partner. Sharing about our deepest selves, meditating together, praying together.
Kimberly: 27:23 Those are some ideas, Felicity. Let us know how you do. I’m so happy for you that both of you and your partner have made that intention. So keep us updated. I send you so much love and thank you so much for being part of our community.
Question #4 around the topic of: How to Renew and Strengthen Relationships: My husband would like to renew our vows. However, I think it goes deeper than that. To me, it’s not about reading off some words in some perfunctory way. How can I get this across to him and suggestions on how to renew without the vow part?
Kimberly: 27:38 All right, one more question my loves, and this comes from Winona who lives in Pennsylvania. And she writes, “My husband would like to renew our vows. However, I think it goes deeper than that. To me, it’s not about reading off some words in some perfunctory way. How can I get this across to him in suggestions on how to renew without the vow part?”
Kimberly: 28:02 Winona, I love this question. I think that this is really interesting and I would like to know is there any reason perhaps why you don’t want to do the vow part? Because it sounds like your husband is expressing something he would like, which seems really nice. And maybe that is important to him, or maybe words are really important to him. It sounds like to you, reading off words feels surfacy and you want to connect in a deeper way, which sounds like all the suggestions we talked about so far, the quality time, the listening, being seen, being heard, walks together, doing a circle together. The four cornerstones we just talked about with Felicity, but maybe you can do both. Maybe this is an opportunity to see each other and to see each other’s needs and to realize that, “Wow, we actually have some different needs. We have some different love languages here. We actually express ourselves in slightly different ways, but we love each other.” And there’s space for both.
Kimberly: 29:11 I would say that sometimes we see things in very different ways. My hubby is such a… In some ways we’re very different. In some ways we’re very, very similar. He loves to get me little gifts and he loves to… Talking is important to both of us. And I will say for me, I just… We’re both very physical people, so there’s a lot of touch around here. I’m not so much of a gift person, but to me, the attention. I text him during the day and I tell him how much I love him. I try to reinforce that through my words and my actions. So it’s different. People are different.
Kimberly: 30:09 So I would say Winona, you have a need to go beyond just the words saying the vows. You want deep connection in your daily life. And I think setting aside this quality time, this could be maybe before bed, is a really great time to express that. And to be vulnerable. Vulnerability opens up so much. If we can just say, “Honey, I love that you want to do vows. It’s so beautiful. That means a lot to me. And also though, I want to connect deeper. I want us to go back to where we were deep. I want to grow from there. How does it feel to you? What do you think?” Asking questions back after you’ve expressed yourself, I think also keeps the door open, wide open, and it feels inviting. The door is open. We’re not having it to be a certain way. So that’s a beautiful thing as well. Is to really just ask back, “This is how I feel. How do you feel?”
Kimberly: 31:10 And to express it, if you have some concrete ideas, I would think about this before you have this conversation. Is it again, quality time? Is it listening more? Is it sharing responsibilities? What are your actual needs? And then expressing that in a loving way. So please don’t come at this conversation charged or riled up or annoyed in any way because your partner will definitely sense that. These conversations are best done when we are calm, when we feel balanced, when we feel centered, and we’re not projecting any sort of annoyance or anything on our partner, but we’re just really neutral and we express from our heart and we can be honest and authentic. And again, so much of connection is about authenticity and letting ourselves be seen and creating that safe space to see others.
Kimberly: 32:01 I love, love, love this topic, my loves. I love all of your questions. We explore relationships quite a bit over in the circle. So if you’re interested in going further and so many topics, especially, of course, the relationship with ourselves, please check it out.
Thought of the Week
Kimberly: 32:19 I also want to leave you with a quote of the week, and this is something that I mentioned earlier, but I can’t help but say it again. I want to end the show with this idea, this concept, which is very powerful, which is that your relationship with yourself will be mirrored in all of your other relationships. Your relationship with yourself will be mirrored in all your other relationships. So if you honor yourself, if you respect yourself and you create healthy boundaries out of that respect, if you hold yourself in a way that you honor yourself and you create dignity and grace in your life, with yourself, then that is what you will get back from relationships.
Kimberly: 33:06 If we beat ourselves up, if we feel like we don’t deserve the help, the attention, the love, whatever it is, then we will see that mirrored back in different ways through our other relationships. So I definitely, definitely want to remind you, to Emma’s point, to her question and to what I spoke to her in that question, focus on the relationship with yourself. You can do it simultaneously. Also, work on the relationship with others, but work on the relationship with yourself always, and you will start to see an improvement in all of your relationships.
Kimberly: 33:40 I’ll end the show there. I send you lots of love, so much gratitude. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I will see you back here Monday for our next interview podcast. It’s going to be a great one. So check back in, make sure you subscribe. See you soon and lots of love.