5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life [Episode #798]

This week’s topic is: 5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life

We all have so much going on in our lives, in our work lives, our personal lives, in maintaining a household, and sometimes we’re just not feeling that connected to our sexual side, to connecting with our partner or ourselves. And we can start to feel disconnected. We can start to feel that something is out of balance. And this is very common.

I want to have this conversation because sometimes we don’t talk about all these different topics, however, it’s important that we cover everything in our holistic lifestyle. And this one very much falls into our Body Cornerstone. I would say it falls into our Emotional Wellbeing Cornerstone as well, because I think that sexual energy has a lot to do in its healthiest form.

It has a lot to do with connection. Connection to yourself, connection to others. And so I’m very excited to get into our show today with 5 practical ideas about how to naturally boost your sexual connection, your libido without feeling forced, without feeling that it’s a chore, and feeling the joy and the connection that comes from it.

Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question sent in by a Beauty just like you, listen now to find out!

Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/

[Question Answered]

Lidia – Minneapolis

My life is so busy and hectic with work, family and responsibilities which really diminishes my sex drive and desire for intimacy. What can I do to bring this back into balance?

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: 00:00 Hello, and welcome back to our Thursday q and a show where our topic today is 5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life. So we all have so much going on in our lives, in our work lives, in our personal lives, in maintaining a household, and sometimes we’re just not feeling that connected to our sexual side, to connecting with our partner or ourselves. And we can start to feel dis disconnected. We can start to feel that something is out of balance. And so this is very common. I wanted to have this conversation because sometimes we don’t talk about all these different topics, but it is important that we cover everything in our holistic lifestyle. And this one very much falls into our body cornerstone. I would say it falls into our emotional wellbeing, cornerstone as well, because I think that sexual energy has a lot to do in its healthiest form.

01:06 It has a lot to do with connection, connection to ourself, connection to others. And so I’m very excited to get into our show today with five practical concepts, five ideas about how to really naturally boost your, um, connection, your sexual connection, your libido without feeling forced, without feeling that it’s a chore, but feeling, um, the joy and the connection that comes from it. So I am recording here in my little studio in Hawaii, which is in the forest on our land. So you may hear some roosters in the background. Um, you may hear some different birds, our little friends joining us today.

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Waterfall Cleanse

Also with summer here, wanted to also remind you we have a wonderful three day holistic cleanse called the Waterfall Cleanse, which is a plan involving stretching and guided meditation and journaling and juice and smoothie and elixir recipes to help you really cleanse any fogginess, any bloats, anything that just feels that it’s a, a layer on top of your essence of your incredible energy so that we can move forward with clarity. It’s a great time of year to do it. We also just passed summer solstice, so we’re still in that peak light energy, so I definitely encourage you to check it out.

Question around the topic of: 5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life: My life is so busy and hectic with work, family and responsibilities which really diminishes my sex drive and desire for intimacy. What can I do to bring this back into balance?

Okay, all that being said, let’s get into our question today, our topic today about naturally boosting your libido. And our question comes from Lydia who lives in Minneapolis. Hi Lydia. Thank you so much for your question, for bringing this topic to our awareness and sending you much love out there to the Midwest right now across the ocean for me, lovely place. I have been to Minneapolis, very kind, heart-centered people, I will say.

04:02 And your question is, my life is so busy and hectic with work, family, and responsibilities, which really diminishes my sex drive and desire for intimacy. What can I do to bring this back into balance? So thank you again so much, Lydia, for this question. And I think you hit on some really important words, even in your question, this hectic word, um, the intimacy, which is about connection and closeness, and then balance. So we have many different layers of our being, which is what we talk about here on our podcast at Sauna. With our four cornerstones, we have our physical layer, our mental, our emotional, our spiritual, and the sexual layer as well. And the sexual part of us is connected to our sacral chakra, to our creative power. And this energy center is literally where our sexual organs are both, um, for all genders. And so when we’re in this hurried pace of life, we can feel disconnected from parts of our energy.

05:18 So for instance, we can feel disconnected from our emotional wellbeing or just in go, go go. We can start to feel numb or overwhelmed. We can start to feel disconnected from our creativity. We’re just sort of banging out tasks, driving here and there, getting errands done. And this is part of the diminishment of this sexual energy, which can be playful and, um, intimate or, and, uh, you know, it’s, it’s hard to put into words. It’s, um, non-linear and it needs space to and to be cultivated. It needs, um, it needs to be nurtured in water just like anything else. And the good news is that if you felt this waning in your life, it naturally does start to wane. Our veda teaches by the last, as you know, very last part of life. You know, when we reach the, um, you know, I don’t wanna put an actual number on it, but there is a phase of life that’s meant to be focused on spiritual connection and self connection.

06:32 And, you know, we could have a partner to help us, to help us, you know, work with that and to work with each other. But for a lot of life, let’s say it’s something that is an aspect of, of life and connection. Now, of course, there is, um, there are many people that have chosen not to pursue a sexual path for many reasons. There are, you know, monks and nuns and people on a, on a certain kind of spiritual path where it’s not part of their, um, sad knots not part of their practice. And so of course we completely respect that as well. But if you’re listening to this right now and you would like to stoke that fire of intimacy and sexual drive, then we’ll go into some action steps for you that will help. But this isn’t meant to feel like pressure or I have to, or, you know, something’s missing if I don’t.

07:36 But if you’re listening to this right now and you’re feeling a little bit like, yes, I do want more of that, it can be stoked. Like any fire, if it’s gotten a little di we can start to cultivate that in your life, in your relationship or with yourself, however, however you like to practice. So, yes, so going back to some research here before we dive in, life is busy <laugh> and we need to create an environment set in setting as rom doss used to say, for these practices to come forward. So similarly to how, if we wanna eat a healthy diet, we need to go to the market every week. We need to have the right cooking equipment. We wanna create a clutter free kitchen. It’s similar to, uh, sexual intimacy. We need to set the environment both in our lives and in our bodies.

Tip #1. 5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life: Regular exercise

08:36 So there is research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Yes, that is an actual medical journal, finding that regular physical exercise has a positive effect on sexual function and desire in both men and women. So we’re meant to move, we’re meant to be dynamic. So there’s movement in sexual activity, not just in the physical movement, but the movement of the forces, the energy inside of you, the kundalini energy, the um, just the dynamic energies around the sacral. And so when you move in any way, for me, it’s walking, hiking a lot. You may like biking or, um, you know, high intensity workouts or whatever it is. It brings circulation and flow. It’s like a reinvigoration throughout the body. So it’s important to not be stagnant. If you want to increase this sexual intimacy and energy, start the movement going. It could be really simple, it could be stretching and yin yoga. Um, but it is really important to exercise and to move and to start that flow.

Tip #2. 5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life: Stress reduction

09:53 Another study I wanna point out, there’s actually, um, research around chronic stress. Well link to all of this on the show notes over at mysolluna.com, finds that reducing stress levels helps to increase sexual desire and function. And so this is somewhat obvious, but it’s nice to know there’s actual research around this. When we are stressed, we are often disconnected from our hearts, from our intuition, from our creativity. We are in the mind, we are in. Go, go, go do this run here. Oh my gosh, you know what’s gonna happen in the future? We get into fear, we get into overthinking, over planning, trying to control. And this of course squashes this powerful creative essence, which is out of the mind, it’s in the body, it’s in this movement and energy that wants to go in different directions that you can’t necessarily plan for. So again, we want to create practices and time away from overthinking over planning activities being so linear, being so mental.

Tip #3. 5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life: Adequate sleep

11:07 And we’ll talk about that in just a moment. Also, sleep is really important for sexual desire. This is more research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, finding that prioritizing good sleep hygiene ensures restful sleep, which can contribute to he a healthier libido. So this of course, is something that’s joked about in culture. You know, the partner that’s always saying, oh, I’m too tired, just rolls over at night. And so there’s a couple things about this. Number one is, yes, we wanna make sure that we’re sleeping well for many functions in life for our cognitive functioning during the day, for our, um, you know, ability to manage energy and not overeat, manage our hormones, feel good, and also to have the energy to put into our creative endeavors. And this would include projects, hobbies, something we’re really excited about if we’re writing a piece of literature or you are creating a craft project with your child, or you’re starting a new website.

12:16 And this also means sexual energy. So I also wanna say that we don’t always just have to have sexual intimacy at night. It could be in the middle of the day, it could be in the morning. It could be where you feel like it, right? So I could say for me personally, and in our, um, relationship, it’s at night sometimes, but it is often different times <laugh>. And I think that’s part of the playfulness. I think that’s part of going with the flow and not feeling like it has to just be a certain way. And that sparks excitement. It sparks creativity and it spark, it sparks freshness. And of course it has to be, um, allowed in the day. So allowing gaps or space or, um, just doing things not in the same pattern, I think can, can bring more life into your sexual intimacy as well.

Tip #4. 5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life: Healthy diet

13:21 And then a big one to cover is diet. And again, we’re just going through the research, we’ll go through all of this in more detail in just a moment, but this is research from the International Journal of Endocrinology, finding that certain nutrients like zinc and vitamin D, omega-3 fatty acids have a positive sexual, uh, impact on sexual function and desire, as well as fruit, vegetables, and whole grains protein. So a balanced diet means balance in our energy, including our sexual energy. And getting the right nutrients gives you that nourishment to your vitality, to your life force. That’s so important with sexuality. This life force, it feels the, the desire to connect with self and with others. It’s this powerful force and energy that can be worked with and it can feel very nourishing. And if we’re forcing it, it can actually start to feel depleting, which of course we don’t want. So we want to nourish that with, um, in many different forms.

14:39 So the next p piece of research that I wanna highlight here is from the archives of sexual Behavior, which finds that intimacy, emotional intimacy, not just physical intimacy, was associated with sexual higher, higher sexual desire. So this goes back to what I said earlier in the show about connection. We wanna make space to connect with ourselves, with our partners, because if we’re up in our heads, we become disconnected to our bodies, to our energy, and of course to the sacral sexual energy. So this means taking time to have dinner together, to have a bedside chat, to put aside the phone, to cuddle, um, to go on a walk and talk however you like, to connect with your partner, and also to make space to connect with yourself. Turning screens off, journaling, finding out what’s going on really with yourself, digging deeper. Um, meditation and many of the practices that I share as well in the new book or the latest book, it’s not so new anymore.

15:56 It came out last year. You are more than you think you are. I found personally when I was able to really understand more about myself and getting past shame for behaviors in the past, and fear, it just was removing these big blocks of heaviness. So I just felt lighter and more playful and more free in my own sexual connection with my, and everything is connected to everything else. So I encourage you to check out some of those practices, and a lot of them are written so you can actually get it out of you. That’s been very healing for me personally, is the written word in, in terms of journaling. And there is a practice in the ur hole chapter called You Are the Sun and the Moon. So it’s about going past some of the behaviors that we may not be so proud of and bringing them out and then seeing that, you know, none of us are perfect, but we can all learn the lessons and move on because underneath the behavior, we are this energy underneath we are the true self.

17:10 So we don’t have to hold this heaviness of shame for things that we’ve done, whether it’s sexual behaviors or not, just things we’ve said in anger or um, times we haven’t shown up for people or whatever it is. We can start to shed that. And then that shedding creates more lightness and more flow, which does translate to more sexual flow and more dynamic creative energy. So let’s talk about this in a little bit more detail. In a, you know, no particular order. I wanna start with, um, the diet one, because it’s, it’s tangible, right? So sometimes we don’t wanna talk about our libido, we feel shame, or we don’t feel great about, you know, where we are, whatever it is. So sometimes it’s nice to focus on something really tangible that we can do. And as I mentioned, there’s research about fruit and vegetables, like very general, but foods that we know are whole and healthy whole grains.

18:17 Um, the rich in different minerals and nutrients like vitamin D for instance, is hormone we get from the sunlight and from certain foods and supplementation of course. But when we’re in the sun, when we’re connecting to nature, we start to feel this flow of vitality. So I definitely, I know we’re talking about food here, but it’s all interconnected. I do encourage some healthy sunlight. Of course, I like to cover my face. I like to use healthy sunscreen on my face, but I, you know, everybody’s body and skin is different. I like to get some sunlight on my limbs for some minutes a day, and I find that really invigorating. It can feel very invigorating to your sexual energy. Also, I find that seeds have this potency. They have this ability to create life. So, um, even sprouts and microgreens and pumpkin seeds and sesame seeds and tahini, all of this, this seed energy is very nourishing to your life force.

19:18 So you can add seeds to your salads, you can add sprouts to your salads, um, and to your soup and to anything you’re eating on top. I almost always have, um, sprouts on a daily basis. And then bananas have been associated with our libido. Avocados has said to have, um, sexual energy. This has been, um, anecdotally talked about in some, um, traditional cultures, fakes as well. These are considered libido boosting foods, aphrodisiacs. So, um, chocolate, of course cacao. You can create a beautiful, um, ritual and elixir with a cacao. Drink a hot chocolate or something with you and your partner in the evening before going into the bedroom together. Something like that could be really fun. And add a intentional ritual to your practice. So on the flip side, remember that, you know, the bedroom is also for sleep and how important it is to feel rested when we’re run down, the last thing that we feel is that sexual energy.

20:38 We just feel grumpy or we’re short. And of course this puts the kibosh on connection. So it’s really important that we nourish ourselves with sleep. So we’re creating, um, besides a sexual practice, we’re also creating an evening routine. We’re, um, turning off blue lights and getting off screens before bed. We have many great podcasts on this topic as well that you can check out about sleep and some sleep doctors that have come on here, which are really wonderful routines and so on and so forth. So sleep is really important. And consistency of sleep and making sure that we’re getting up at the same time and going to bed at the same time, and creating a cool environment and a dark environment so that when we are wanting to connect, then we’re feeling the nourishment and the rest and the power to do that. So the next thing I wanna talk about is exercise.

21:43 So as I mentioned earlier, there’s research around this. We wanna create more flow and circulation because when we’re stagnant, we don’t feel sexy. We don’t feel in our potency, in our vitality. We also feel better having sex and being intimate when we feel good in our bodies. So it doesn’t mean we have to have the perfect body or the perfect weight, but we wanna feel fit, we wanna feel in flow. And so you just, 30 minutes of exercise a day can make you feel really confident and good in your body. So I encourage you to find something that feels good to you, something that you wanna stick with consistently, whether that is walking, I bring this up first cuz it’s one that I really love and it feels really gentle. So here in Hawaii, I take Moses, our younger in the stroller or the whole family will hike and it just feels really good to me to be in the woods, to be in the jungle.

22:41 I can hear the jungle starting to wake up right now. There’s more birds awakening right now it’s about five 30 in the morning here I’m doing this before the babies wake up or dancing, swimming, there’s so many ways to move your body and you’re meant to move. So I encourage you to find the ways that feel good to you to move. And then the next one is prioritizing self care and stress reduction. So this is making space for you. There has to be the self connection to you before. There’s the self connection to the, to the force, the creative force, and whether that’s with yourself or with your partner. So it’s not saying yes to every single thing. It’s not overpacking your day, it’s making space in the day for pauses. To me that is the biggest stressor is hurrying and time pressure. And I know sometimes we think that we find a way out, but I think if you look carefully, you can, I’ve gotten really good at this over the years, politely declining and resting more.

23:57 And I know there’s a lot of school events sometimes, but I don’t say yes to every single play date and hanging out in non necessary things because sometimes I need more space and I connect with my, we connect a lot having, you know, sometimes wine, but often just tea on our porch with a blanket looking up at the moon sometimes I don’t wanna go out to dinner most of the time we don’t go out, which can feel great sometimes and sometimes it feels like a hassle. So I’m just, you know, kind of listing some personal things for me. But I encourage you to find more space in your life and clearing out things that don’t feel nourishing. And then making space for the things that do, which of course is completely personal to you. And sometimes stress reduction can be making space for therapy or, um, journaling or, um, being a participant in a group or something that feels nourishing to your emotional wellbeing.

25:10 Finding a trusting, trusted counselor, whatever it is. But self connection helps to build sexual connection and self-care, doing things that feel good to you. I made space last week for a massage in here in one of our cabins and it felt really nice to give that to myself. And I also felt stress leaving my body with this form of touch. And so stretching. Um, it also goes into the exercise one, when the body feels tight, we don’t always feel so sexual, right? Because there’s this non-linear flow to connecting in an intimate way. And if we’re stiff and rigid, sometimes it can feel like a bit detrimental to that. So self care through all of our cornerstones and we have a lot of support for you over on the website, again, mysolluna.com. We have a starting out, um, piece of like a document about the four cornerstones if you haven’t downloaded it yet, to see how you can nourish yourself, um, food-wise, body-wise, emotional wellbeing wise and spiritually.

5 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido While Juggling a Busy Life: Prioritize intimacy emotionally

26:18 And it is in this holistic lifestyle that we come together into this full whole power of your energy. So the last part of this is to really prioritize intimacy emotionally. So with yourself and with your partner, it’s important to feel heard and to feel seen. So this starts with self, as I mentioned with introspection, journaling, meditation, time alone, time in nature. We have to connect to ourselves. We need to know what our needs are, you know, whether that’s food wise or what we need sexually, what feels good to us. We need to connect if it’s felt icy, if it’s felt disconnected or detached, we need to nourish that back within ourselves and then also nourish that with our partner if we’re both so busy. I have a friend that doesn’t see her partner that much because they constantly split the time with the kids. So this is my night to have to myself.

27:21 It’s your night to have to yourself. And I see the practicality of that, but I also see that it can breed, um, disconnection if there isn’t also space for the couple to connect. So how I like to do it or how we do it is we do a lot of family stuff. And then at night it’s really the time for me and my husband and we hang out, we talk, we don’t go out all the time, but we just have a couple hours to ourselves. And most usually it does not involve screen time because I’m not really drawn to screens and we don’t have our time together. My husband likes watching movies and stuff. I don’t really connect to it. So, um, if you do with your partner, of course that’s a form, but it’s not the deepest form, right? Because you’re engaged into something else, sort of suspended into what you’re watching.

28:22 So besides that, it’s nice to have time to chat, whether it’s dinner, we, I also stretch with my husband. I’ll stretch him out, I’ll stretch next to him. So we chat during that time as well. And it’s nice to have time to just not have kids around, not have work around, not have phones around, and just to see, hey, what’s going on with you. So I actually learned a really beautiful practice yesterday. We did it with an older couple here on the island who I love very much. Their names are faith and justice. And I met them at the meditation temple and they’re in their late seventies and they’re really connected as a couple. And they shared with me that they do this figure eight practice before they ever have intimate connection. And they don’t have physical intimate connection so much now, but they still do. And they have had periods of their life where they do a lot and they ask a question and they go back and forth to each other. And they said sometimes they do it for an hour, an hour and a half. And the question we went around together, the four of us, and we did a couple rounds. The question was, what’s something that you would like us to know about you?

29:36 And so it’s, you could say this to your partner with something that you want me to know about you, and it could start surface or something about the day. But then if you continue, it starts to go really deep and you could start to bring out vulnerability and real emotional connection. And it’s a really beautiful practice. And even in a few rounds doing a with this couple, I cried and I just felt really close to John, to my hubby and to, um, the other couple. So it’s something you may wanna try with your partner or just having space could be 15 minutes or whatever. Just really talking about the day so you feel close. And when you feel emotionally close, then you can really feel that desire to connect deeper and more physically. And that’s a natural extension of emotional closeness. So I hope that this gave you some, um, inspiration to help naturally boost your libido.

30:32 Again, we talked about regular exercise and all the ways that feel good to you, adequate sleep, maintaining a healthy diet with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, especially to nourish your life force and seeds and sprouts and so on. Um, getting adequate sleep, prioritizing self-care and stress reduction. So you have space and energy to nourish this very powerful creative sexual energy. And then finally, really prioritizing intimate time and communication on an emotional level with yourself and with your partner. So please check out the show notes at mysolluna.com for more in information, links to the show notes as well as other podcasts I think you would enjoy, and recipes and articles and more. We will be back here Monday for our next interview podcast. So until then, sending you so much love and support for your unique, amazing energy. Remember that we’re all unique. There’s flows, there’s natural ebbs and wanes to all of this. So don’t feel any shame, don’t feel bad. Tune into yourself, tune into your heart, into your intuition, and to see what cycle you’re in right now, where you can nourish yourself more. And I’ll see you back here Monday. And also see you on social at _KimberlySnyder, sending you lots of love. Namaste.