Discovering Joy and Overcoming Perfectionism in your Life with Dr. Tiffany Moon [Episode 988]
This Weekās Episode Special Guest: Tiffany Moon
In this episode Kimberly interviews Tiffany Moon, a board-certified anesthesiologist and reality TV star. Tiffany speaks about her journey of self-discovery and the lessons learned from her experiences on Bravoās Real Housewives of Calls. Tiffany discusses the impact of reality TV on her work-life balance, the difference between joy and happiness, and the cultural influences that shaped her perfectionism. She speaks to the importance of authenticity in social media and the role of intention in finding joy in life. Through her personal stories and insights, Tiffany inspires listeners to embrace their true selves and cultivate joy from within. She discusses the importance of self-care, joy, and laughter in maintaining vitality and well-being. The dialogue also touches on the vulnerability of writing a memoir and the insights gained from the process.
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About Tiffany Moon
TIFFANY MOON, MD, is a board-certified anesthesiologist, entrepreneur, keynote speaker, mother of twins, and author of the upcoming book, Joy Prescriptions: How I Learned to Stop Chasing Perfection and Embrace Connection (May 6, 2025, Legacy Lit). She is also the founder and CEO of Aromasthesia Candles, Three Moons Wine, and LeadHer Summit.
Dr. Moon has published over fifty peer-reviewed publications, is one of D Magazineās āBest Doctors,ā serves as an Oral Board Examiner for the American Board of Anesthesiology, and is an Associate Professor of Anesthesiology and Pain Management at the University of Texasās Southwestern Medical Center Tiffany was the first medical doctor and Chinese American cast member on Bravoās Real Housewives and her story has been featured in Forbes, Variety, Harperās Bazaar, USA Today, and more. She lives with her family in Dallas, TX.
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Guest Resources
Book: JOY PRESCRIPTIONS: How I Learned to Stop Chasing Perfection and Embrace Connection
Website: Main website: https://www.tiffanymoonmd.com/
Book website: https://joyprescriptions.com/
Social Media
TikTok: @tiffanymoonmd
Instagram: @tiffanymoonmd
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Episode Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Tiffany Moon and Her Journey
03:06 The Impact of Reality TV on Work-Life Balance
06:10 Understanding Joy vs. Happiness
08:50 Cultural Influences on Perfectionism
12:07 The Evolution of Self-Expression
14:52 Navigating Social Media and Authenticity
17:57 The Role of Intention in Life and Social Media
20:51 Embracing the Duality of Professionalism and Personality
24:11 Navigating Social Media and Public Perception
26:46 The Creative Process Behind the Book
29:41 Balancing Femininity and Professionalism
31:05 Self-Care Practices for Well-Being
35:05 The Connection Between Joy and Vitality
36:48 The Power of Laughter and Gratitude
40:41 The Vulnerability of Writing a Memoir
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Transcript:
Kimberly Snyder (00:00.644)
Hi everyone and welcome back for a very special conversation with our guest today, Tiffany Moon, who has a fascinating bio. She is a board certified anesthesiologist, entrepreneur, keynote speaker. She has a new book out, which I love called Joy Prescriptions, How I Learned to Stop Chasing Perfection and Embrace Connection. Tiffany is also, you might recognize her as the first doctorand first generation Asian American to join Bravoās Real Housewives show. So welcome to the show, Tiffany, and thank you so much for being here with us today.
Tiffany Moon (00:40.024)
Thank you so much for having me.
Kimberly Snyder (00:42.744)
You know, Iām getting goosebumps. When your book first came across my desk, I thought, huh, this is really interesting. I think we all have ideas about reality shows and then just the combination was so fascinating that youāre so driven and youāve created so much in your professional space. And then when I started to get into your book, what really struck me as we chatted about a little bit before the show was just how heartfelt you are.
and youāre showing so much, youāre able to take off masks, which isnāt something that we normally associate with, you know, perhaps people that are in the limelight or people that are reality shows. So itās just the whole, you know, everything that you bring to the table is a combination that is very unique.
Tiffany Moon (01:31.33)
Thank you. Yeah, sometimes people ask me why I wrote the book. And I think the answer is that I have so much to tell. And itās very difficult on like a 60 second reel or TikTok to get vulnerable and deep with people. And so the book offers a much more in depth look into my life. And I think people who think they know me might even experience me a little different.
Kimberly Snyder (01:58.7)
Yes. Well, it was interesting in the book where you talk about how many people ask you, you know, one of the things people might ask right away is, hey, are you happy you did that show because thereās just so many eyeballs sort of scrutinizing and of course the way they edit things. And I thought it was really interesting how you talk about it helped you actually reframe your work life balance. So many of us are.
working moms, weāre raising kids, weāre trying to keep up with school, we have career ambitions, we wanna be healthy, thereās so many things. So it sounded like there was one really positive outcome of the show was that in your real life, you started to realize you needed to be more part-time.
Tiffany Moon (02:40.428)
Yeah, I was really grateful for that. The producers really get deep with you and they figure out sort of what makes you tick and what problems youāre having in your life. And then they really try to have you surface those issues. And for me, it was, you know, the elusive work-life balance. And the show kind of gave me the final push that I needed to ask to go part-time.
Kimberly Snyder (03:06.04)
Wow. And you also mentioned how you sort of felt like you were in this arena with other women who, you know, knew each other. It could seem a little bit maybe hostile at first.
Tiffany Moon (03:17.663)
hostile work environment.
Kimberly Snyder (03:22.106)
I mean, itās just, mean, were there moments, you know, as we go into the book as well, youāre talking about joy, were there moments you were like, why am I doing this to myself? Like, why did I, you know, sign up for this? I donāt like this. I donāt, you know, whatās going on here?
Tiffany Moon (03:38.22)
Yeah, I mean, as a person who wrote an entire book about joy and tells others on a daily basis to cultivate joy, let me be the first to admit that Real Housewives of Dallas did not bring me much joy. It brought me many tears. It brought me many insights.
It brought a lot of drama, but not much joy. But thatās okay. Not everything in life has to be joyful. Thatās the other thing. Weāre not heatedness. Not everything has to be joyful. Sometimes you have to experience sorrow to experience joy.
Kimberly Snyder (04:01.528)
Yeah.
Kimberly Snyder (04:12.856)
Right, thereās the contrast of seeing the, this, you know, to me, Tiffany, Iād love to hear how you think of joy. For me, itās, part of it is having more peace, right? And just feeling like my mind isnāt racing. Iām not, you know, worrying and like backtracking, ruminating about the past, worried about the future. Thereās a lot of joy in being present and just feeling like myself. Can you talk a little bit about how you see joy?
Tiffany Moon (04:40.63)
Yeah, I recently was talking to my friend Judith and she said something that really hit with me, which is that happiness is an idea and joy is the experience. Because sometimes people would ask me like, Dr. Moon, whatās the difference between happiness and joy? And for me, I think joy transcends happy. I think happy is like a state of being. know, like Iām happy if my team wins, Iām happy if my husband buys me roses.
Kimberly Snyder (04:51.93)
Mmm.
Kimberly Snyder (05:09.08)
Right, if. If.
Tiffany Moon (05:10.134)
Yeah, yeah, but it also kind of happy has this sort of like finish line thing to it. Like Iāll be happy when, right? And the when may or may not come. I feel like joy comes from the inside. Whereas happy often comes from the outside. And if youāre a joyful person, even though youāre having a bad day or youāre not in a joyful,
Kimberly Snyder (05:15.928)
Yes. Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (05:27.17)
Yes, yes.
Tiffany Moon (05:34.518)
scenario, you can still have joy on the inside, but it has to itās like an inside job for sure.
Kimberly Snyder (05:42.894)
Well, I love again, as a doctor, youāre framing this book in terms of prescriptions, which have nothing to do with it, you the actual medical practice that you have, but actually talking about, I love this one, good on paper, being open to love in unexpected places. I went right to this chapter as well, being your authentic self, right? Finding your voice. And then you also, thereās also part of the book, the aspect of the book where you talk about being Asian American.
Iām also, or my motherās from the Philippines, so thereās this, culturally this striving, I call myself a recovering perfectionist as well, Tiffany, where so much of my worth in grades and how well I did. When did you start to dismantle some of these really ingrained beliefs and patterns? Because youāre a mother of twin girls, right? And how old are your girls? Wow.
So just seeing how you were raised culturally, and of course every parent is doing their best so weāre not blaming or saying anything about our caregivers, but just from that pattern with perfectionism really strong into how you shifted and then into your daughters.
Tiffany Moon (06:59.114)
Yeah, I would like to think that Iām a more evolved parent. I try to praise my kids for their effort rather than the outcome. I try to catch them being good versus catch them being bad. So if theyāre playing nice with one another and I see them sharing or lending a helping hand, Iām always like, my gosh, I saw that you did this. Like, Iām really proud of you for doing that or that was really kind.
Versus, you I donāt know about you, but for me, I feel like I only had negative reinforcement as a childhood. It was like, be on a math test, like spanking, you grounded. I was sent to bed with no supper. you know, and there was never this like, oh, good job, or youāre kind, youāre creative, youāre curious. Like all those traits were not.
Kimberly Snyder (07:35.578)
Yeah.
Kimberly Snyder (07:43.044)
you
Tiffany Moon (07:52.288)
rewarded and therefore not enforced because as a child youāre gonna do whatever gets you the reward and the positive reinforcement. You know if youāre praised for being quiet and obedient then youāre probably going to continue to be quiet and obedient which is what I did for most of my life until I decided that I didnāt want to be quiet and obedient anymore.
Kimberly Snyder (08:05.432)
Yeah.
Kimberly Snyder (08:09.186)
Exactly.
Kimberly Snyder (08:17.058)
And did that take place after you became a mother?
Tiffany Moon (08:21.802)
It probably took place after I became a real housewife. You had known me 10 years ago. I was not really this person. I was very soft-spoken. I never voiced my concerns. The waiter would send a dish out at a restaurant that was wrong. Like not what I ordered or didnāt have the sauce on the side like I had asked. And I would just eat it even though thatās obviously not what I wanted.
And my husband would be like, just send it back. Tell him you asked for the sauce on the side and you donāt like it soggy like that. And Iām like, no, itās fine. Itās really not that big of a deal. Cause it just didnāt. And Iām like, heās going to bring it back and spit in my food or something. But, I remember like, you know, going to get a massage for my birthday or something. And the masseuse was like, is the pressure okay? And Iām like, itās fine.
Meanwhile, Iām like, Iām paying $100 for this guy to like apply lotion to me. Heās like not working hard at all. And I just, I was so, so afraid to like, I donāt know, have an opinion or say that I didnāt like something for fear that somebody wouldnāt like me. And it sounds so ridiculous now I realize, you like Iām paying for this massage. Like I should have the pressure how I want it. But I was just, I didnāt know who I was. I wasnāt sure of myself. I based.
Kimberly Snyder (09:26.49)
Mmm.
Tiffany Moon (09:43.703)
all my worth on external achievements and how much people liked me. And so therefore I didnāt have the balls to have an opinion that went against the status quo, because that would put in jeopardy somebody liking me. And thatās how I derived my worth. And itās crazy. Itās crazy to tell you sitting here that going on Real Housewives is what finally let me
Kimberly Snyder (09:58.595)
Right.
Kimberly Snyder (10:11.962)
What a blessing.
Tiffany Moon (10:12.97)
It is a blessing. know, the show was not exactly what I thought it would be. Itās not what I signed up for, but in many ways it ended up being such a blessing for me.
Kimberly Snyder (10:25.624)
Thatās amazing, Tiffany. Itās funny how, you know, depending on your beliefs, say God, spirit, universe brings you ways, brings all of us ways to grow and evolve. And itās not always gonna be the ways that we think, but just being open to all the lessons and learning because I imagine it was really challenging on set. And as you describe in the book, you know, first coming into that experience and having a lot of drama, but at the end, you can sort of zoom out and say, wow, I really did get a lot of.
out of that experience.
Tiffany Moon (10:56.972)
Yeah, itās crazy. This one little show like really changed my life in a lot of ways.
Kimberly Snyder (11:05.21)
So how did it change as you started to come into your voice and expression, which is a chapter in the book as well, how did it change your relationship with your husband?
Tiffany Moon (11:14.242)
You know, I donāt really think it changed my relationship with my husband. When I was debating to do the show, I called several people because I was not really familiar with the role Housewives. Certainly I knew what it was, but like I had not actually watched any of the franchises on a regular basis. And so I watched, so I called my friends that like knew the show, knew the characters, were Bravo Die Hard fans. And I was like, should I do Housewives?
Kimberly Snyder (11:31.737)
Yeah.
Kimberly Snyder (11:43.002)
you
Tiffany Moon (11:43.028)
I interviewed and they offered me a spot, like, should I do it? And one of them was like, donāt do it, girl. They were like, Role Housewives is like the kiss of death for a marriage. And I was like, my God. Theyāre like, yeah, everybody who goes on that show like gets divorced. And I was like, my God. And I was like, so I really thought my marriage was in jeopardy if I did the show.
But spoiler alert, Iām still married, happily married. Itās been, God, 2008. No, 2000, we met in 2008. We got married in 2012, so 13 years. So I guess itās not always true. But the show didnāt really change our marriage, just that, except for the fact while I was filming, I was not a very good wife, because I was basically working two full-time jobs. Because at the time we were filming,
I was still a full-time academic anesthesiologist. So I was either filming or in the hospital. If I wasnāt in the hospital, I was filming or sleeping. So I admittedly was not a very good wife or mother during filming. But again, it was 12 weeks. My husband and I talked about it. He was very supportive. He said, you film, I will take care of the house and the kids primarily while youāre doing this.
Kimberly Snyder (12:37.796)
Wow.
Tiffany Moon (13:02.419)
And it all worked out in many ways. Maybe it even brought us closer together
Kimberly Snyder (13:07.128)
What a beautiful partnership to have that type of communication and one personās schedule ramps up and someone else is able to step in. So it sounds like you had a really solid relationship prior to the show. And maybe one of the reasons when people get under the spotlight, relationships can crumble is because perhaps the foundation wasnāt there or they start to go in different directions and it doesnāt always have to be that way, obviously.
Tiffany Moon (13:34.348)
Yeah, I think what youāre saying is right. think, you know, reality TV really puts everything under a microscope. And so if the foundation already had cracks and then you go on reality TV, itās really going to crumble. But for those people that have strong marriages, I donāt think they have anything to worry about.
Kimberly Snyder (13:51.45)
You know, again, itās really interesting that your book is about, part of this is perfectionism because I canāt think of any other way to scrutinize yourself. I used to work with a lot of celebrities and still do to an extent on these big, you know, television movies. Youāre like, you could see every pore in your skin. You can evaluate how you look, your angles, your voice, how you come across in interviews. So,
How did that experience, which is sort of exacerbating every single aspect of yourself, soften you into a place of deeper self-acceptance, which might seem ironic?
Tiffany Moon (14:31.094)
Yeah, I think I had the benefit of being naive when I was filming for the show. I didnāt really understand reality TV and the producers and how they try to pit the cast members against each other. Like I was pretty naive, but like in a good way, almost in that like ignorance is bliss kind of way.
Kimberly Snyder (14:46.017)
We will.
Tiffany Moon (14:52.398)
So I really wasnāt worried about my angles or how I appeared or what my storyline would be I really was just myself on Housewives like how you see me on my season of Dallas is basically how I am maybe they pushed me a little farther than I would have gone in my regular life to have antics and pranks and things like that because after all we are filming but by and large like the personality that you see on TV is my true personality
Kimberly Snyder (15:12.73)
yeah.
Tiffany Moon (15:20.078)
So I didnāt try to like game the system in any kind of way because quite frankly, itās exhausting to try to be someone else. Now, if youāre a professional actor or actress, obviously youāre playing the role of somebody else. You become and embody that person while on set. I donāt have any acting skills. Iām an anesthesiologist by trade. I put people to sleep for a living. So I was like, Iām just gonna go all in, be myself.
If people like it, great. And if they donāt, thatās fine too. Like I went into the show and into life and into social media already with the expectation that like not everyone likes me. Like thatās just not possible. I donāt like everyone I meet. So why would everyone who meets me like me? So I already set the expectation in my mind that Iām not everyoneās cup of tea. That way when, you know, the negative
comments or criticisms come in, like itās okay because I was already expecting that.
Kimberly Snyder (16:25.166)
Thatās a really powerful message and I think where a lot of people really wish they could get to because, know, social media star, reality star or not, so many people are putting themselves out there on social media. example, in their own world, theyāre like, you know, really, itās a lot. And so negative comments can hurt a lot or you mentioned, you know, trying to be something youāre not. What would you say to, you know,
women everywhere, people everywhere that are trying to be something on social media and realizing it isnāt giving them joy and how they can find more joy.
Tiffany Moon (16:59.47)
If itās not giving you joy, baby, stop. Like life is too short. I do social media consulting and coaching work with a lot of women physicians. take non-women physicians, but those tend to be my clients, I think, just because thatās how the word of mouth is. So I help them build their brand on social media. And some of them really pick up on it. Theyāre like, thatās so cool. And theyāre just learning so much because itās like a whole education in social media.
Kimberly Snyder (17:06.403)
Yeah.
Tiffany Moon (17:28.034)
And then once in a while, I will have a client and sheās like, this is exhausting. I hate being in front of the camera. I hate talking. I hate editing. I hate all of this. And Iām like, great, donāt do it anymore. Like if what you got out of my course and coaching was that you absolutely hate this and itās not bringing you joy, donāt do it. You donāt have to do social media. Plenty of people have very successful dermatology, plastic surgery practices.
Kimberly Snyder (17:41.464)
Right.
Tiffany Moon (17:57.228)
you know, nutrition clinics, weight loss clinics, without being on social media. This is just one way that you can market yourself. But if it makes you miserable and doesnāt bring you joy, like baby girl, let it go.
Kimberly Snyder (18:11.16)
And in a similar vein, you could be on there and maybe youāre miserable because youāre using it in a way where you feel like you have to be perfect or be something else. And you can shift to be more authentic where you feel like it is bringing you joy for some of your.
Tiffany Moon (18:24.482)
Yeah, I mean, my social media brings me joy. I know that sounds so crazy. But I will tell you, sometimes my assistant and I will be making a reel. And we are cracking up like Iām gonna pee my pants. Like, we just need it so funny. Weāre like spitting wine, you know what I mean? It tends to be after wine, letās be honest. But like I enjoy social media. Iāve also met like amazing friends like some of my best friends right now. I first heard of them through social media.
Kimberly Snyder (18:30.169)
Youāll love it.
Tiffany Moon (18:53.614)
And then I connected with their content. Maybe they DMed me, I DMed them. I donāt know what happened. But like, seriously, some of my closest friends right now that have spoken at my Lead Her Summit, who have given me endorsements for joy prescriptions, if you look on the back and thereās the blurbs, the people who say nice things about my book, many of those people I met through social media, like Vivian too, I met through social media.
Kimberly Snyder (19:11.354)
Right.
Tiffany Moon (19:20.802)
Who else? Betsy Grunch. Like a lot of people. And so people are always poo-pooing social media, which I get. Itās a lot of bad too. It all depends on how youāre using it, you know? But I gain lots of joy from social media.
Kimberly Snyder (19:31.18)
Right.
Kimberly Snyder (19:37.69)
Well, I think itās intention, right? And it goes back to, you have a whole chapter on intentions because perfectionism is where weāre just hyper-focused on outcomes. And if we donāt get the hundred on the, I remember, Tiffany, if I got a 98 on the test, would, failure, you know, like I donāt want to show the test to my parents, like all the things, right?
Tiffany Moon (19:51.018)
Iād be so pissed.
Kimberly Snyder (19:57.858)
So I love this idea of using intention, inserting it into our day, into our actions, into what weāre creating, because that is one thing that can be really clear. We canāt control the outcomes. So what would you say your intention is for your social media account at this moment? Because itās bringing you so much joy. Like, what are you wanting to put out as some of the messages in the world right now?
Tiffany Moon (20:21.954)
Generally speaking, when Iām making or posting a piece of content, I ask myself, is it inspirational? Is it educational? Or is it entertaining? Sometimes itās just straight up entertaining. Like some of my stuff is, you know, like this Crocs video that has been viewed like 10 or 11 million views. Itās crazy. Like how to style Crocs. And then I throw them in the trash can, you know? And Iām like, well, there goes my Crocs sponsorship. I donāt think theyāre ever, which is funny because I own about
Kimberly Snyder (20:28.281)
Mm.
Kimberly Snyder (20:33.719)
Yes.
Tiffany Moon (20:51.04)
eight pairs of Crocs, like no lie, I love Crocs. It just was funny. And itās like, thatās not educational or inspirational, you know? So social media is for different things, you know? And the other thing that I wanna do on social media is show people that you can be a serious, real life doctor whoās doing very serious things.
and outside of work, still have hobbies, still have a personality, still drop the occasional F-bomb. And that doesnāt mean youāre any less of a doctor because Iām tired of society, especially men, weaponizing professionalism when they donāt like something that a woman is doing. They call her unprofessional. And I just think itās total BS. thinkā¦
Kim
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