How Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Plays a Role in Your Life. [Episode #916]

Topic: Emotional intelligence 

Hi everybody and welcome back to our Thursday Q &A show. Hope you’re having a great week so far. And I’m really excited to share about emotional intelligence today and the role that it plays in your life and your success and in your health. So I’ve always had this idea that emotional wellbeing is such an important part of our lives, which is why it’s our third cornerstone, but I didn’t realize the extent of it until I started delving into the research around my new book, The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts. Research that we’ll talk about today on our show and my personal experiences. I’ve always shared with you that’s really been the basis of our community, everything from our glowing green smoothie to food combining to ways in which we can nurture ourselves when we’re pregnant or relationships, how we can meditate which has had such a huge impact on me. And it wasn’t until the last few years and really getting into this work around heart coherence and awakening our heart intelligence, did I really start to realize the huge impact that my emotions were having on my energy and on my life.  So Join me as we navigate this important discussion!

Episode Summary

In this episode, Kimberly Snyder discusses the importance of emotional intelligence and its impact on our health, success, and relationships. She shares her personal journey of discovering the role of emotions in her life and how she has increased her energy and vitality through emotional intelligence. Kimberly discussed the need for emotional intelligence in creating a more joyful, fulfilled, and connected life. Kimberly provides practical tips for developing emotional intelligence, such as creating awareness, practicing self-regulation, and connecting with the heart.

 

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction: The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
08:29 Defining Emotional Intelligence and Its Significance
17:12 Digesting Emotions through the Heart for Clarity and Calmness
27:23 Practical Tips for Developing Emotional Intelligence
31:25 The Impact of Emotional Expression and the Power of Heart-Centered Practices
34:18 Conclusion: The Transformative Power of Emotional Intelligence

SOLLUNA PRODUCT LINKS

• Glowing Greens Powder™
• Feel Good SBO Probiotics
• Feel Good Detoxy
• Feel Good Digestive Enzymes
• Feel Good Starter Kit
• Feel Good Skincare

KIMBERLY’S BOOKS

• Chilla Gorilla & Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart
• The Beauty Detox Solution
• Beauty Detox Foods
• Beauty Detox Power
• Radical Beauty
• Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life
• You Are More Than You Think You Are 

OTHER PODCASTS YOU MAY ENJOY!

• Ayurvedic Tips for How to Boost Energy and Immunity with Vaidya Jay [Episode #839]
• ]The Benefit of Detoxing for Immunity and Overall Health [Episode #567]
• How To Reorganize Your Schedule to Recharge Your Vitality and Lose Weight with Dr. Suhas [Episode #757]
• 6 Simple Food Principles for Increasing Your Vitality and Longevity [Episode #755]
• The Power of Fiber for Metabolism, Ongoing Detoxification and Reducing Inflammation [Episode #850]

STUDIES AND RESEARCH

1. Positive Affirmations

A 2015 study published in the journal of Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that self-affirmation activates the brain’s reward centers, promoting positive changes in behavior and attitudes.

2. Challenging Negative Thoughts

A 2014 study in the  Journal of Affective Disorders demonstrated the effectiveness of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  in reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety by challenging and restructuring negative thoughts.

3. Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

A 2006 study in Journal of Behavioral Medicine consistently showed that strong social support and positive relationships are associated with better mental health outcomes, including reduced stress and improved overall well-being.

4. Setting Realistic Goals

A 2002 study in the American Psychologist found that setting specific and challenging yet achievable goals enhances motivation and improves performance.

5. Mindfulness and Meditation

A 2014 Study published in JAMA Internal Medicine showed that mindfulness meditation can improve symptoms of anxiety, depression, and pain.

 6. Gratitude Practice

A 2010 Study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology Review found that a regular practice of gratitude is associated with increased feelings of happiness, contentment, and overall life satisfaction.

 7. Healthy Lifestyle Choices

A 2018 study in The Lancet Psychiatry showed that regular physical activity is associated with better mental health and a lower incidence of depression.

 8. Continuous Learning and Growth

A 2013 study published in the Journal of Psychological Science found that engaging in intellectually stimulating activities can help maintain cognitive function and mental acuity in older adults.

 9. Self-Compassion

A 2003 study published in the Journal of Self and Identity found that self-compassion is strongly associated with emotional resilience and psychological well-being.

 

Powered and Distributed by: PodcastOne

Transcript:

Kimberly Snyder (00:01.09)
Hi everybody and welcome back to our Thursday Q &A show. Hope you’re having a great week so far. And I’m really excited to share about emotional intelligence today and the role that it plays in your life and your success and in your health. So I’ve always had this idea that emotional wellbeing is such an important part of our lives, which is why it’s our third cornerstone.

but I didn’t realize the extent of it until I started delving into the research around my new book, The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts, research that we’ll talk about today on our show and my personal experience. And so as I’ve shared with you guys, I mean, I’ve always shared with you that’s really been the basis of our community, everything from our glowing green smoothie to food combining to ways in which we can nurture ourselves when we’re

pregnant or relationships, how we can meditate, always shared, which has had such a huge impact on me. And it wasn’t until the last few years and really getting into this work around heart coherence and awakening our heart intelligence, did I really start to realize the huge impact that my emotions were having on my energy and on my life. So

I would say that my energy over the past little while since getting into this hard work has gone up about 70%, which is a huge amount. And I’m not just talking about waking up with more energy. I’m really talking about the energy that I’m able to sustain throughout the day and especially at the end of the day, because we don’t realize that emotions, which are energy and motion, can leave us so drained and so frazzled.

And this is some of the things that I’ll talk about in the book. And we’ll talk about right here that two minutes of irritation, let’s say you’re irritated that you forgot to order your garbage bags and now you’re out and you let yourself get into a little bit of a spiral or you’re irritated that something didn’t come through in your email that was supposed to or whatever it is, can put into motion 1500 different biochemical processes that ultimately drain your energy. And I’m talking about draining energy from your organs.

Kimberly Snyder (02:20.76)
from your digestion, from repairing your skin. This feels like a similar conversation to back, you know, a decade ago where I was talking about, you know, improperly food combining, eating a bunch of fruit at the end of dessert because it would drain so much energy. And here we are over a decade later talking about a similar conversation about energy draining ways in which we live our lives. But now we’re talking about unseen forces. We’re talking about energy, emotions.

which we don’t see in the ways that we pick up food. But I can say from personal experience, feeling a lot more centered and coherent in building my emotional intelligence, which we’ll talk about today. And there’s a lot more in the new book coming out, which I’m so excited to share with you in just a few weeks. We can start to preserve a lot of our vitality and a lot of our energy in brand new ways that we previously may not have been focusing on.

So what this means is that emotional intelligence isn’t just something that’s optional. It’s not just like a cherry on top and you know, it’s nice to feel more peace. If we are serious about creating more health and energy and vitality and a lighter, more joyful existence and having success at work, having success in our relationships, being more fulfilled, being more content, being more connected, which I would bet that most all of us listening to this right here, right now.

is in that category. That’s why we’re listening and learning and growing together on this journey of the Feel Good Podcast. Then I am so excited to get into this topic with you because it could really change your life the way it has changed my life. So I’m really excited to go further. We’ve already started to talk about this, but little reminder, the show notes are over at mysaloona .com. Little reminder to please share this show with anyone that you think would benefit. This could potentially change someone’s life.

to please leave us a review to support the podcast. It’s a great way to help other people find the show. And also over at mysaloon .com slash five hearts book, we reading parts of the new book today to you, the hidden power of the five hearts, giving you a little preview, but this topic and many others related to embodying this new way of living through your heart’s intelligence, including foods to eat practices to utilize in your daily life. I share in this groundbreaking book.

Kimberly Snyder (04:42.496)
Everything that we’ve talked about here and continue to talk about from nutrition to lifestyle to sleep to routines, really centers. gets, it’s everything comes together through this juncture of our heart, which is where we will build emotional intelligence and intuition and energy and connection and love so many things. So I’m really excited to share this one with you. Please pre -order your copy today. And you’ll also join me in our four week heart reset program.

I will be running in October. Okay. All that being said, this is such an amazing topic. We’re going to get into definitions. We’re going to talk about it. First, let’s get into our question, which comes from Florence in New York. Florence, thank you for bringing this to our attention, sending you much love out there in New York. You write, hello, Kimberly, I love your podcast and I’m excited for your new book. I heard you use the term emotional intelligence.

How would you define it and what can you do if your partner is lacking in it? So thank you so much, Florence, for bringing this to our attention. It is important that we first define what we’re talking about here and then we can expand. And we want to be aware of the emotional intelligence within ourselves first, Florence, because then we can start to handle communication when our partner or…

other people around us may be lacking in these skills, may be playing out certain patterns. There’s a book I read a few years ago by Byron Katie, and I can’t remember the exact title. It’s over there on the shelf somewhere. It’s like Loving Me or Loving You or something like that. She came on our podcast as well. If you guys missed that interview, it’s a really great one from a few years ago. We’ll link to it in the show notes. But one of the things that she says is that you really only need one person in a relationship to be conscious.

and be awake and to shift things. Now, this doesn’t mean if you’re in a relationship with someone who is abusive or really narcissistic or something that prevents or there’s a disconnection. It doesn’t mean you have to stay in a relationship that’s a dead end relationship. But what it does mean, and I can say this from personal experience and also please listen to the solo cast with my hubby earlier this week. When one person starts to wake up,

Kimberly Snyder (07:06.238)
into their hearts, into their emotional intelligence. It can change the dynamics of that relationship. And that person can also be inspired to wake up without the pushing and the shoving. And I can say this in my relationship with my hubby, because I started to go really deep into this hard work and into coherence and doing the tools. And he’s aware of some of them, but he wasn’t necessarily practicing them himself. But what

happened was that as I became more coherent and more clear in my communication and my ability to control my emotions in a really authentic way, not just trying to push down a pot that was about to bubble over, but really steadying myself through my heart’s wisdom, which I’ll talk about here and in the book, it changed our relationship. The bickering, the little arguments, I would say went down about 90%. And I still get triggered sometimes.

And there’s certain people at work that still trigger me or I see things, but I come back a lot faster and I don’t let myself go into that spiral again, the two minutes that add up into many hours of reduced immunity and hormonal imbalance and so many things really our emotions, which are energy and motion profoundly affect our physical health, our enjoyment of life.

and the world around us, again, in terms of our success at work and in our relationships. So let’s start by defining emotional intelligence. And we can define it by the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathically. So there’s a lot of things to unpack.

Another definition is the ability to manage both your emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five elements to emotional intelligence, self -awareness, self -regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. So really when we’re talking about emotional intelligence, there’s a maturity. It means that we have transcended the ways in which we may handle emotions as a child, the acting out,

Kimberly Snyder (09:27.596)
the temper tantrums, the screaming, wanting something to be a certain way and encountering lot of resistance when something is not. So awareness is one of the important qualities here. And this is what our heart’s intelligence can allow us to do is to go beyond the same patterns, the same restricted ways in which we see things. And we can start to create a new pattern. So the neural networks in our brain

continue to be reinforced over and over again. And I know this very well, when something bugs us, somebody says something, it reminds us of a wound of the past, something stored in the amygdala or the hippocampus part of our brain that stores emotional responses. And there we go again, getting annoyed, getting irritated, feeling overwhelmed. So when we go down into our hearts, which are a kind of a brain with 40 ,000 neurons, we start to create a different pattern.

So literally in my life, when the same things would come up, my husband would say something that felt like a little bit of a dig or a little bit unconscious, I would say, or unaware or whatever it was. Instead of going straight to that reaction, I would shift down into my heart, which research shows this starts to reprogram your nervous system. I would do these coherence building breaths, which I’ll teach you in the new book. I would start to shift my state.

not just from generally like count to 10 or think positive thoughts or get over it, but you start to shift your state by leaving your thoughts, leaving the overactive mind and the endless onslaught of circular thoughts. You go down to the different place in your heart and you breathe and you take a moment, three to 10 seconds for doing these practices and these tools. And then you go back up and you see things differently.

You can see where maybe you played a part or you don’t have to get so involved, or you can see to answer your question, Florence, if your partner or your colleague or, you know, the other parent and the mom’s committee, whatever it is, parent committee may have a limited perspective. Part of this is seeing more, more awareness.

Kimberly Snyder (11:43.052)
So we say from a yogic perspective as the heart awakens, the third eye awakens, and you can literally see more of the situation. You have more awareness, which means that you can have more empathy. And instead of reacting against that person, it’s like getting mad at a baby or a child who doesn’t have the skills or doesn’t have the know -how to express themselves. You can see, this person isn’t able to really express themselves properly, but it starts to bring in, with empathy comes more compassion.

And you can meet that person where they are. And it doesn’t mean that you may not have to put up a healthy boundary or you may not have to express something or reinforce something, but you can do it through your heart’s wisdom, which is where emotional intelligence is so strongly linked to your heart. And you can express with clarity without excess emotion and

Clearly, again, this clarity, this excess emotion to express your needs, so your needs will actually be met. And this is something that, once again, going back to my relationship with my husband, and we talked about this on our show together, I could, number one, let’s say he said something that would get me really triggered in the past, going into my heart gave me the ability to almost freeze frame. And I could say to myself, is this really my wound?

Is this my reactivity or is there something that needs to be addressed? And many times I didn’t even need to say anything. I could start to digest it through these tools, through going into a state of greater coherence and getting my nervous system and my brain to sync up with my heart. And then it was easier for me to let it go and flow into the next moment of life more centered. Or sometimes I would just calm myself and realize that there is

There was something to address. There really was something to say. And I ran into this situation as well with my child’s camp. There was a camp here in LA and something, a counselor said something inappropriate to my son. He came home and he was a bit upset and he said it to me. And so I didn’t react right away. I actually sat with it over the weekend. And then I felt really clear.

Kimberly Snyder (13:59.958)
about what I needed to express without the excess stuff on top, the narratives, the stories. And I wrote a very direct email that was not rude. It wasn’t reactive, but it felt like this is something I really need to express. So what this does when we live more from this place is that life functions practically on a better level. And this is where emotional intelligence, which I’ll read to you about in just a moment, helps your life work better.

It means that people feel safe around you. They can not think that you’re going to explode or clam up and get passive aggressive, or they feel safe that they can really come to you. And then you can feel confident in knowing that you are able to handle things in a way that you feel proud of. And number three, practically speaking, it means that you can…

very articulately and authentically and clearly express the needs that you have, whether it’s to your husband or to your coworker or to your child, to your neighbor, to whoever it is, keeping that deep sense of, have an authentic need.

but I’m not going to let my emotions skew this interaction. I’m not gonna also run away in fear. It allows you to stand in your power. So now I’m gonna read to you, this is page 99 of the new book, The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts. This is stage three. So we also go through these different five heart stages of awakening our heart and it’s aligned with the science of heart coherence and it’s also aligned to the spiritual texts.

the Vedas laid out these five stages which Swami Sri Yukteswar, Guru to Paramahansa Yogananda also laid out. And so by stage three, we start to create a very different shift in our lives and how we feel. Because in stage three, we start to center ourselves here, which means we start to center ourselves in our emotions. So this is where we can start to really talk about emotional intelligence and how important it is.

Kimberly Snyder (16:15.086)
In 1995, emotional intelligence was brought into the mainstream with Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence. In his book, Goleman offers cutting edge research confirming that success in life is based more on your ability to manage your emotions than your intellectual capabilities. Goleman’s research explains why individuals with a high IQ in life can experience a lack of success.

And yet those with a moderate IQ but higher emotional awareness who apply insight of that awareness to daily life known as emotional intelligence can create exceptional success in their professional and personal lives. According to research, unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can be developed and increased throughout your life. And again,

my baby right here, right from my heart to yours. These tools that I will share with you in the new book do work. And I’ll give you a little picture, a little tidbit right here on this podcast with you in just a moment. And I’m a living embodiment of that. I’ve shared with you a little bit about this, but now I’m starting to be more aware of how much my emotions ruled my life, how much they propelled me into different decisions.

needing to be seen, needing to be understood, fuming on the inside if I wasn’t seen or understood by those on the outside world. So this meant that someone could make a casual conversation in line at the coffee shop and it would propel me into an emotional upheaval. I was giving my power away left and right. It means someone could annoy me. And again, this means my energy could get drained, my immunity, my…

digestion could get disabled with just a casual comment. So you can imagine how much comments from my husband or certain things that would happen at work, how much this could derail me. I’m so passionate about sharing this with you because in little ways, so -called little ways, which really add up and bigger ways, our emotional intelligence can really.

Kimberly Snyder (18:35.128)
Quantum leap increase our success and our enjoyment in life and our health This is so profound and this is so huge. So as we continue before we continue the show Just consider for a moment in the last few days over the last week Where you may have had some big emotions these energies moving through your body. They could have been really up

It could have been a moment of fear if you saw something on the news, something going on in the world, or some real frustration if your coworker or your mother -in -law said the same thing over to you that you’ve heard a million times that really annoys you. Or you felt a pang of jealousy or envy about something you happen to see on social media or whatever it was. So just consider for a moment how you felt before that emotion came in.

and how you felt afterwards, or if it just kept going for a while, and what changes you might have noticed in your body. Or maybe you weren’t exactly aware, but maybe you just noticed a general sense of fatigue later in the day, or that your voice got faster, or that your heart rate was racing. These emotions create such deep physical shifts.

So it’s not just like, I don’t see my emotions. They don’t matter. What’s more important is how I exercise and how I eat. These emotions have a direct impact on your energy and your vitality. And guess what? Research shows, as I’ll talk about more later, this directly affects how quickly you age, right? These emotions, have you ever noticed someone who’s really worried all the time or fearful or angry? Their skin starts to get more hardened or they just start to look

haggard or like they’re aging faster and faster. And this is directly because these emotional energies create physiological change. They affect how our thoughts are, our perceptions, which then sends messages to where our blood flow goes and our circulation and to our skin and creates inflammation in our body. A 2007 study in the National Library of Medicine found that individuals with higher emotional intelligence

Kimberly Snyder (20:53.518)
have better quality relationships, are more empathetic, and experience greater social satisfaction. So there’s lots of research here. I will link to it in the show notes. I’d speak to you a little bit more candidly than get into the research. But one more study I’ll mention is a 2011 study in the Journal of Organizational Behavior concluded that emotional intelligence is positively correlated with job performance. So when we are able to…

be in control of our emotions. We are better able to manage all of our relationships. As I mentioned, this means the parents at your children’s school. this means at your church or if you go to a temple or place of worship, this means in your relationship with the people around you, if you take the bus or the subway, or you’re in a parking lot, the people that you interact with at the store, these interactions start to build.

the fabric and the quality of our day -to -day experience. And it very much starts with how you manage your self. So one of the preliminary practices that we talk about in the Hidden Power of the Five Hearts is being able to shift away from the turbulence of these emotions. Now there’s a really powerful practice in this book, in that chapter called the Heart Aligned Steady in Life Practice.

And I’d like you to really take note of this practice, especially if you’re drawn to this topic. It’s on page 104 and it’s quite a bit of research involved and it goes from 104 to…

107. So it’s four pages of explaining this practice so you can really understand how you can apply it in your life in under a minute. So I’m not going to get into all of that right here but one thing that I will I want to leave you with a couple things that you can start to do right now. So number one emotional intelligence involves that awareness. So you want to start to be more aware so that you don’t

Kimberly Snyder (23:02.934)
fool yourself into how much emotional upheaval you’re experiencing in a day, in an hour, in a weekend, in a month. So you can start to keep a little journal or the notes part of your phone and just start to be aware of when you’re pulled out of your center. This could be up and down. You start to get overly, overly jubilant. You start to get really down. You start to feel angry. You start to feel off. This triggered me this.

just start to create an awareness and you can also note what it was that was the trigger. Over time and in the future, we can start to be more vigilant of where we have neural pathways linked to certain things. Again, we may have abandonment issues, I’m speaking about myself, or neglect, you need to be seen a certain way, you wanna be considered more. We can start to transcend all of this needing so much from the outside world as we start to steady ourselves on the inside.

So for the first and most important thing right here that I want you guys to start to do is to create more awareness. Number two, start to create more awareness of the people around the relationships you have because this question of Florence was asking it was about her partner. Start to be aware of their emotional states and when they get triggered. So this could mean, let’s say your husband doesn’t have any tools for dealing with stress, maybe an email starts to throw him off or

It’s around a certain time of day where there’s just so much coming in. He’s trying to finish the workday, whatever it is, he starts to get triggered or start to notice if your child starts to get grumpy at a certain time of day or whatever it is, or certain things bother them or certain situations or your roommate or your best friend. Just start to observe without judgment, without putting people in boxes. that’s a really angry person or this or that. Just start to,

Just observe and develop more of that empathy and that deep compassion that other people are going through great battles every day as well. Every person is trying to come back to center. Every person’s trying to find peace. So create awareness in yourself. Create awareness in other people. And the heart’s wisdom calls for us to zoom out. That means expand your vision instead of going into the normal judgments of yourself and others.

Kimberly Snyder (25:24.62)
Start to see it from a more expanded place. that person’s really struggling. Or, hey, compassion for yourself. I really struggle with these same patterns. Be there for yourself. Start to show up for yourself. Start to see yourself in that struggle.

And then number three, something that I’ll build on far more later in the book. But right now, I want you to start to feel this anchor that is inside of you, that is not dependent on other people saying things or showing up for you or a certain circumstance working out. Let’s start to feel this strengthening your connection to this anchor inside of you. And the access point is through your heart.

So this means you can actually touch your heart if you’re going through a difficult emotion. feeling that pain of anger or envy or jealousy or sadness. Come back. Come back. Just touch your heart. Remind yourself that you have this anchor in here. It feels very comforting. There’s a lot of neuron, there’s a not neurons, nerves in your hands. So there’s like a comforting feeling when you place your hands.

on someone in the hospital or your child. There’s a lot of comfort in the heart, in the hands. So give yourself that comfort by connecting to your heart.

Kimberly Snyder (26:53.27)
And then instead of just letting the mind go wherever it wants to go, focus on your heart as an energetic point and take some deep breaths. This is giving yourself the permission to slow down life instead of just going into emotional reactivity, which is the opposite of emotional intelligence. It means we’re slave to our emotions. It means that we are not acting from this higher place of intelligence, which we can all access.

So slow down, give yourself permission to almost like a remote stop life and restart once you feel calmer. So this could mean not answering that text or that email immediately. This could mean if you’re at a work meeting or you’re in a conversation, you can just say to that person, hold on, I just need a moment here to process that. Or there’s just this natural long pause if you’re on a phone call and they may say, Hey, are you still there?

And you can say, honestly, yeah, I just, I just needed a second. on. And you just imagine stop stopping the remote or slowing things down because we get pulled into response reactivity responses that are reactive and that we’re not proud of. get pulled into the same patterns when it’s like this happens, this happens, the boom, boom, the immediacy. So we break that.

by slowing, breathing into the heart, putting your attention where your hands are, focusing on this energetic and physical center. And this doesn’t just feel good. There’s research that shows this will start to turn on those 40 ,000 neurons in your heart. It will start to send different messages from your heart brain to the brain up in your head, which will ultimately start to change your perceptions. This is the basis of emotional intelligence.

your perceptions change. Instead of getting locked in the prison of the victim mindset, this person did this to me so personally, right? This person’s attacking me. I have to survive. I have to lash out. I have to react to this. I have to fight. Your heart’s wisdom will start to give you this incredible emotional intelligence of greater awareness, wider perceptions.

Kimberly Snyder (29:18.964)
seeing things in a different way. And when you see things in a different way, you start to have different lighter thoughts. And then there’s a clarity that comes because what makes things really complicated and over complicated is all the narratives, the mind running and saying this person’s out to get me, this shouldn’t have happened, this isn’t fair. Instead, there’s a simplicity and saying, maybe this person’s having a bad day or

something in me didn’t like that old, you there was an old reaction to something that that person said, but here I am in this present moment. But what I really want to do is move this project forward. My real goal is to preserve my energy here. I’m just going to let this go. My real goal is to get this done at my child’s school. So let me communicate what’s really needed here. Let’s just let that little comment go, right? There’s an incredible practicality to that.

Number one, you preserve your health, your vitality, the functionality of your organs. Number two, you actually move your projects forward in a succinct, very efficient way. And number three, your flow of energy means you’ve digested that emotion. You let it go, so you’re not suppressing it, but you’re also not going into the story of it. And another piece of research, which I want to read to you because it’s really important here.

Let’s see which page is this on.

Kimberly Snyder (30:56.686)
Okay, this is on page 101. This is really important to realize as well. Science shows us that big blowouts of emotional expression are not healthy. They are damaging to your system. Research conducted by Aaron Siegman at the University of Maryland found that people who reacted with impulsive outbursts of anger proved to be at a higher risk for coronary heart disease than those who kept their anger inside. Negative emotions create illness and accelerated aging.

which none of us want. Today’s psychologists have come to realize that expressing anger and hurt feelings doesn’t make them go away. It actually can reinforce the emotional pattern in the brain’s neural circuitry. And then it goes on and it doesn’t mean it’s healthy to suppress emotions either. What you want to do is do this again, heart aligned study in life practice, which I’m dying to teach you is going to be amazing. But for now, you want to learn to steady yourself and breathe down and let the emotions digest.

This is the critical core skill of emotional intelligence. It doesn’t mean you become a robot and you don’t feel emotions, but that you digest them before projecting them out into the world, into angry responses, onto other people, into damaging relationships, pushing people away from you. Keep feeling people feel like they can’t get close to you or that they can’t trust that you’re going to stay stable or whatever it is. So we

anchor into ourselves and we realize that we do have the strength and the ability to digest these big feelings and emotions and come out and be clear and be calm and that we can trust the things that we are going to say to other people. So this is the fundamental part of emotional intelligence. I really want you to know you do have this power. You can retrain yourself even if you felt reactive in the past. You get angry or on the other side you close up and you get passive aggressive or you just

contain it within yourself. There is another way, digesting it through your heart. This heart, your heart has this incredible power to hold the space for you to come out on the other side. Unscathed, clear in your power, preserve your vitality, preserve your digestion, your immunity, your hormonal health. Let it go through you instead of pushing it down.

Kimberly Snyder (33:19.118)
pushing it onto other people. The powerful place is to digest it in yourself. So for now, create more awareness. You can journal about this. Just create awareness about emotions in general. And then number two, until we build on it more later, put your hands on your heart, breathe down into your heart, pause, slow down the situation while you’re taking some deep breaths, bringing your focus away from the situation into your body, into your heart.

And then allow yourself to come back into the situation after a few moments. I might have to say to someone, hold on, I just need a minute here. I’m just processing this. And then you’ll be a lot more clear and you’ll be able to respond, not react. So I’m really excited about this topic because I believe this can be a huge game changer in your life as it is and has been for mine. It’s given me so much more energy, so much more clarity, so much more clear.

conversations and communications that I’m really happy about things moving forward in peaceful, connected ways. And I really want the same for you. So once again, the show notes are at mysaloona .com. And I personally invite you to pre -order the Hidden Power of the Five Hearts today, because then you can also join me and our four week.

Heart Reset program, which I’ll only be offering for a short time longer. You get entrance into this program just from pre -ordering the book in the next little while. So all the information for uploading your receipt is over at mysalooner .com slash five hearts book. I’m excited to see you. We’re to have live zooms. You can ask me questions during these four weeks. So it’s an amazing opportunity. Speaking of questions, remember that you can also ask me more questions for our podcast.

at mysalooner .com, you’ll see the podcast tab. We’ll be back here Monday as always for our next show. Until then, sending you so much love and gratitude, and I look forward to connecting with you more. Sending you much love.