How to Believe in Your Self Worth with Jamie Kern Lima [Episode 907]

This week’s topic: How to Believe in Your Self Worth with Jamie Kern Lima

Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so thrilled for my guest today. Her name is Jamie Kern Lima. She is the New York Times bestselling author of this wonderful book called Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. I will say that I get sent a lot of books on all different types of topics. It is very rare for me to read a book cover to cover and I read every single sentence of this book. I absolutely loved it. I’m very excited to talk to Jamie today. Jamie is an amazing woman. She just launched her new podcast The Jamie Kern Lima Show with her first guests being Oprah Winfrey and Robin Roberts.

Jamie is also an incredibly successful business women having sold her self made company, It Cosmetics, which so many of us have used for so many years, to L ‘Oreal in a billion dollar deal. Since then she’s an active philanthropist has led leadership training in more than a hundred prisons and women’s shelters across the United States. And what I can say after interviewing her is that she’s a very kind, compassionate, heart centered, authentic woman, which is maybe her biggest achievement in the world today. So thank you so much, Jamie, for being here on the podcast with me.

About Jamie Kern Lima

Jamie Kern Lima is the author of the New York Times bestseller “Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable,” and recently released a new book, and instant New York Times bestseller, “Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life.”

She is also the host of the podcast The Jamie Kern Lima Show , which just debuted with and interview with Oprah Winfrey, and upcoming guests including Robin Roberts, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Chrissy Metz, Hoda Kotb, and more sharing never-before-told stories and insights. The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast features life-changing conversations that aim to ignite the light inside of listeners and viewers, build their self-worth, and leave them feeling seen, understood, less alone, more enough, newly inspired, and with tools to fully live their best life.

Lima is an entrepreneur who founded IT Cosmetics in her living room and would become the biggest QVC beauty Brand and sold it to L’Oréal for $1.2 billion. She is on the Forbes list of Richest Self-Made Women. An active philanthropist who has funded leadership training in more than 100 prisons and shelters across the United States and has donated over $40 million in products and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. She is donating 100% of her author proceeds from her books “Believe IT” and “Worthy.”

Guest Resources

• Jamie Kern Lima Website 
• Jamie Kern Lima Podcast 
• Jamie Kern Lima Book 

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background of Jamie Curren Lima
02:12 Believing in Our Worthiness and Melding with Spirit
05:00 The Journey of Unlearning Lies and Embracing Worthiness
07:23 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Trusting in Our Creator
10:58 The Temptation of Showing Up as Our Representative
13:17 The Impact of Perspective Shifts and Divine Order
15:00 The Perfection in Our Imperfections and Divine Plan
17:11 The Illusion of External Validation and Self-Worth
19:55 The Importance of Building Self-Worth and Embracing Authenticity
21:45 Embracing Worthiness: Recognizing Our Inherent Value
25:31 Overcoming Rejection: Trusting Our Intuition
28:15 Redefining Failure: Changing the Narrative
30:41 The Power of Vulnerability: Deepening Connections
36:13 Living in Alignment: Embracing Our Worthiness

 

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• How the Power Foods Diet helps with Weight Loss with Dr. Neal Barnard EP. 877
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• How to eat to reduce anxiety with Harvard nutritional psychiatrist Dr. Uma Naidoo [Episode #867]

 

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly Snyder (00:00.686)
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so thrilled for my guest today. Her name is Jamie Curren Lima. She is the New York Times bestselling author of this wonderful book called Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. I will say that I get sent a lot of books on all different types of topics. It is very rare for me to read a book cover to cover and I read every

single sentence of this book. I absolutely loved it. I’m very excited to talk to Jamie today. Jamie is an amazing woman. She also sold her company, It Cosmetics, which so many of us have used for so many years, to L ‘Oreal in a billion dollar deal. She’s an active philanthropist, philanthropist, big word. She has led leadership training in more than a hundred prisons and women’s shelters across the United States.

And what I can say from her book is that she’s also a very heart centered, authentic woman, which is maybe her biggest achievement in the world today. So thank you so much, Jamie, for being here with me. I’m so excited to chat with you.

Jamie Kern Lima (01:15.355)
Thank you so much for having me. I am.

I’m excited and I just have to say I get to meet a lot of people behind the scenes and sometimes they’re not the same behind as they are in front and it was such a beautiful experience to come on to this conversation with you and the first thing I see is you’re meditating and you’re so congruent and it’s just so beautiful and so true and I just want to honor that off the top and also just say thank you so much for having me.

Kimberly Snyder (01:45.198)
Well, thank you so much, Jamie. I mean, I’m getting goosebumps because like I said, your book came in and there was this space for me to actually read it and I started going through it and there was just so much I deeply connected to. So I want to honor that this isn’t a book that’s written in a place of preaching or disconnection. It’s really coming through your heart and we can really feel it. And it’s full of practical advice and it’s full of many stories.

So one of the things I wanna say right off the bat is obviously the title of the book is Worthy and it’s about really believing you’re enough. And I really love how in the book you share, because we’ve heard this before, like, you know, believe in yourself, love yourself. And I feel like it’s, I could say from personal experience, really challenging to do from the human part of us, right? Because the linear mind likes to compare and say, well,

maybe I don’t have the degrees or the skills or that person’s pretty or more context or more money or whatever it is. But you really bring in, and it’s a little bit towards the end of the book, but woven throughout this idea of melding more with spirit, higher power, God, universe, however we want to connect to that. Because when we have that energy and that force moving behind us, we realize,

Well, I am enough because I’m unique and I’m this unique creation from spirit. And so it’s a very different perspective from trying to find worthiness from this, you know, from the broken or the wounded part of us.

Jamie Kern Lima (03:16.155)
Yes, that’s so good. I believe the lie most of my entire life. I just needed to achieve more or make more people happy or accomplish enough and then I’d finally feel enough. I’d finally be worthy and I lost decades of my life to that. And this book and this journey, I don’t know if you’ve had this experience Kimberly, I felt like this book was a divine download. Like I, when Worthy came through me, I…

Kimberly Snyder (03:41.902)
yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (03:45.787)
just felt like

It was at a point in my life where I was really called to be obsessed with and immersed in, and also in service of helping as many people as possible learn that they’re fully worthy exactly as they are, exactly as their creator made them. And I think that the world sort of has us believe if we please enough people and if we do all the things that build self -confidence, we’ll finally feel enough, but none of them build self -worth, which is different. And I love,

be the first person that’s ever actually asked that question and said it in these words. And that’s how I know you went deep in the book, which I love that. Yeah, I mean, this was a big epiphany in my life. And for anyone listening to us, whether, you know, they have faith or no faith or believe in the universe or whatever, whoever your source, your divine source or creator is, is for you, the biggest

One of the biggest tools now I use almost every single day whenever I start to feel unworthy or to listen to my own self doubt is I realize like, wait a minute. In my life, I believe that.

God exists. I believe our lives are divinely orchestrated. I believe that we all have an anointing and that, you know, we’re called and all the different things. And how can I believe I’m, you know, create divinely created in God’s image, but then doubt that I’m enough? It’s like the two can’t exist. And at the same time,

Kimberly Snyder (05:09.134)
Mm.

Kimberly Snyder (05:21.294)
Right.

Jamie Kern Lima (05:26.683)
It’s either one or the other. And what I quickly realized is, my gosh, and maybe we’re going too deep, too fast, but okay. It was a massive tool now in my toolbox. I have to use every day, by the way, because I believe for most of us,

Kimberly Snyder (05:33.934)
no, I love this. We love this in the community.

Jamie Kern Lima (05:47.227)
The journey of believing we’re enough is like a lifelong journey of not like learning all this stuff, but unlearning all the lies that lead to self doubt that tell us who we are is not enough and like igniting the truths that sort of like wake up the worthiness in us. And, and this is actually one of my favorite tools. And I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me this. This is one of my favorite tools is that I

Kimberly Snyder (05:57.326)
Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (06:08.635)
The second I start having self doubt, what I actually realize is if I believe what I say I believe, if I believe that

My creator made me and I am divinely made and I believe in God. If I truly believe that then me doubting I’m enough and me doubting I have what it takes and doubting how I was. I’m actually that’s actually not self doubt. That’s actually me trusting my own thoughts and doubting God’s word. It’s actually like God doubt is what it is. So right. So every time I have self doubt or I think I’m not enough. I don’t I’m not worthy of walking in the room or asking the

Kimberly Snyder (06:37.166)
yes that’s i love that

Jamie Kern Lima (06:47.869)
person if they want to be friends or raising my hand and saying pick me or submitting my book proposal, whatever it is, whatever it might be. I do believe in my core and my soul. Like I believe.

made in my creator’s image. So am I gonna believe that or am I gonna believe my own self doubt? And so I quickly just sort of like hack through the situation and silence my own self doubt that way when I make the decision to trust in who I believe my creator is over my own thoughts and my own self doubt. And yeah, that’s one of the many tools in Worthy on how to build self worth. And I tell you, it has been a lifelong

Kimberly Snyder (07:23.406)
Mmm.

Jamie Kern Lima (07:32.539)
journey for me. There have been many, many things in my life where I let my self -doubt get so loud and doubted myself right out of my own destiny. And I’m just sort of…

so passionate about not doing that anymore and about joining with each and every person on their own journey, you know, of how to unlearn those lies and just really embrace your own worth. And it’s just an honor, by the way, to be here on the show. Thank you. I just, after 40 years, I just launched my own show for the first time ever, the Jamie Curren Lima Show. Thank you.

Kimberly Snyder (08:01.438)
What do you got?

Kimberly Snyder (08:06.382)
I saw that, congratulations. I feel like you were born to have that show and to share with other people their stories. I saw a clip of your interview with Robin Roberts where she was sharing about being a Christian and being gay at the same time and reconciling all these parts, right? Because like you were saying, if we doubt God, we’re in our head. We’re in this limited, egoic,

comparative, competitive, better than, less than, right, wrong versus this, you know what I call the hard energy or the true self, this term you also use in the book, this expansive part of us which can’t be labeled, like to put ourselves in boxes and other people in boxes and that really limits our energy. Takes a lot of energy, doesn’t it?

Jamie Kern Lima (08:52.379)
Yeah, it takes so much. And I find like so many people, it’s wild. You look at like all the data and it’s like.

Right now, 91 % of girls and women opt out of meaningful activities in their life when they don’t like how they look or they don’t feel enough. And it’s like, when we start to think about, and this is a big aha for me in my life, right? It’s 80 % of women don’t believe they’re enough. 73 % of men feel inadequate. And it’s like we spend so much time and lose so much time and energy.

Kimberly Snyder (09:20.334)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (09:26.715)
and missed opportunities and I think missed callings and when we sort of believe those lies and I think they result in so many people tempted. I mean, I’ve done this so much in my life just trying to be a people pleaser or show up as my representative as the person I think I need to be to make that person happier or to get the job or whatever it is. And it’s like you look at our world now

Kimberly Snyder (09:42.094)
Yes.

Mask.

Jamie Kern Lima (09:56.669)
2024 and and thank you for the beautiful work that you do and and that you put out into this world because most people I mean just by the numbers alone most people are lonelier than ever and and feeling more disconnected than ever and I think the temptation to show up as our representative is a temptation to make other people happy it’s like anytime we do that we think we’re creating connection but we’re just creating disconnection we’re like putting that wall that

Kimberly Snyder (10:14.51)
Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (10:25.371)
barrier between us and someone else when you’re not.

when you’re not, you know, when you’re not who you truly are, you know, number one, it’s like we chip away at our own self worth one representative moment at a time, because we’re telling ourselves we’re not worthy of being who we truly are every time we try to show up to as someone we’re not to make someone else happy. And also we just feel lonelier than ever. So I think that, you know, in a world where and it’s so funny to Kimberly, I feel like it was like five minutes ago

when people were worried about is that a filter or not. Now people are worried about is that an AI video of the actual real person because you literally cannot tell the difference.

Kimberly Snyder (11:08.398)
my gosh.

Jamie Kern Lima (11:09.243)
And it’s just like there’s there’s just so much disconnection everywhere. And I think there couldn’t be a better time for them, you know, to really dive into self -worth, which is why I wrote Worthy and also for the work that you’re putting out there in the world and your book coming out in September and everything else. Like we need this more than ever. We need connection and to feel our heart and to feel our truth and to feel our worth. Like more than ever.

Kimberly Snyder (11:31.374)
goosebumps all over. Jamie, I mean, this is, it’s so powerful what you speak of. There’s so many moments in the book. I love how you share stories to illustrate what you’re talking about. It’s not so, it’s not cold or just, you know, businessy, but you’re really teaching from this embodied place. And I was sitting there crying and my husband was like, why are you crying? And there was this part in the book.

that really touched me where you were talking about your mother passing away and how she said to you, you don’t change. And it was this epiphany moment where you realized like you were saying, instead of trying to water myself down or people please or be what I think people are gonna like, I’m gonna be Jamie. And so this touched me so much Jamie, because a couple of years ago, my mom also passed away and my older son wasn’t yet a year old. And what she said to me,

before she couldn’t speak anymore because the cancer became so much and so painful. It all happened in six weeks too, by the way. She said to me, you picked me, remember? And it was almost like this moment of, you know, we had a complicated, so much love, but complications, sort of, I felt not seen. I was imperfectionist, trying to feel love on the outside, having the perfect grades, felt neglected. There was a lot of things. But in that moment, Jamie, when she said to me, you picked me.

It was that perspective change that you talk about in the book where things are happening for us, not to us. It was like, whoa, like all this stuff is for my growth. You know, God’s spirit doesn’t give us things to push us down, but to allow us to blossom more into ourselves. So that was such a beautiful, woof, woof. my gosh, Jamie, it was, it was a bomb.

Jamie Kern Lima (13:17.307)
How did that impact you when she said you picked me?

Kimberly Snyder (13:25.23)
And I’ll tell you what happened. I just erupted inside. It changed my whole perspective of life. She passed about three days later in my arms. A few, and then it changed my whole life. I looked at everything, Jamie, and I said, this is not it. Meaning my relationship, we weren’t moving forward. I was in this cushy situation. We had a child together. We were engaged, but not married. So boom, I laughed.

I moved out, you know, in the Philippines where my family’s from, there’s no such thing as divorce. It’s illegal. So I left Jamie and I became a single mom. I lost my mom. I was a new mom. And it was like, boom. And that’s when my life started to really open up and I started to write these Hay House books and I started my business, Saluna, and which is about wholeness, the sun and the moon and everything and showing all these parts of ourselves.

but it came from that, oof, that rock bottom place. So when you talk about your rock bottom places and the buck, oof, does that really open up energy in a way? I can just feel it running through so many people and so many women that are reading your book, Jamie. I know it ran through me deeply.

Jamie Kern Lima (14:39.835)
When you, I’m like getting emotional listening to you. When you, when she said you picked me and then everything, and then like everything blew up in your life and you made all those changes. Like, was it almost like you picked, like she’s like, you picked me and then the healing of that, that shift in perspective over everything, like, she may have like, you may have felt unseen, like all the different things. And then.

Kimberly Snyder (15:00.654)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (15:06.491)
and then having that like divine faith and like, I picked her what you just mentioned for your own spiritual growth and all that. And then it feels like then you then all of a sudden after that picked you.

Kimberly Snyder (15:17.486)
Yeah, it feels like, you know what it feels like? There’s a level beyond forgiveness, right? Because first I was like, I’m going to forgive that, you know, she, she went back to work when I was two weeks old. And so I had a lot of abandonment issues that I know you talked about in your book being adopted and the beautiful things you shared. so I was working with a lot of like, I have to forgive. And I want to like, you know, this anger and resentment, but when it was like, no, you picked me, there’s this level of perfection.

that we can step into in the way in which we see God’s plan. Like this is for me. I wouldn’t be this strong. I wouldn’t be able to connect and keep striving and love other women and do all these things if I hadn’t suffered so much as a child perhaps, right? And felt so alone or, you know, had these horrible eating disorders and locked myself up and had bulimia for years because I couldn’t digest life. I don’t know if I could help.

Women work with their wellness and their energy and do all these things, right? So this perfection came through Jamie of I’m worthy. And it wasn’t that I, you know, God forgot about me or this sucks and everybody else has these perfect family lives. It was more like, this, there’s this divine order and I’m going to play my part, I’m going to live in my heart and be as full of life as I can be because that’s why I think we’re here.

Jamie Kern Lima (16:38.491)
and it’s like you wouldn’t know what it’s like to.

Now see everyone if you never felt unseen right all of it. Yeah, you know, there that is so beautiful there’s a Friend of my name Roy Vaden who says that he has this quote I just think is so beautiful and profound where he says because a lot of people are searching for their purpose and they’re like do I have a purpose and they’re trying to find it maybe in a job or in a person or whatever and he says, you know one of the greatest ways to find it he says that in life or

Kimberly Snyder (16:45.71)
That’s it!

Kimberly Snyder (17:05.678)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (17:11.981)
were best positioned to serve the person we once were. And when he says that, I’m like, it hit home for me because most of my life, I didn’t think I was enough. And I struggled with self -worth issues. And I thought I could achieve enough to finally feel enough. So I have a message to look for.

Kimberly Snyder (17:15.95)
Mmm.

Kimberly Snyder (17:33.326)
yeah, I know that feeling.

Jamie Kern Lima (17:35.547)
We have that common. Yeah. And I thought like, if I finally get this and you know, for anyone listening, I think so many of us go through this like, if I we believe this live, I finally achieved that thing, then I’m going to feel enough. You know, if I finally get the six pack abs or I finally get that job title or I finally win that thing or get that number in the bank account or or find a relationship or have kids or whatever it might be. But but

Kimberly Snyder (17:49.422)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (18:03.803)
All those things are amazing and can be amazing and they fuel your growth and they build your self confidence but none of them build self worth which is different and I think

It’s why we’ve a lot of us have arrived at those like external goals and they’re fun, great, but we still within five minutes feel like, why is still missing? Yeah. And it’s like, we all know the, you know, so many people see the celebrity like their life they’ve they’re so famous. Why are they destroying their life or like the astronaut who lands on the moon and then comes back and or the Olympic gold medalists and then destroy their lives. And it’s like, you can accomplish all these goals and that’s beautiful for a

Kimberly Snyder (18:19.886)
Yes.

Kimberly Snyder (18:23.534)
It’s in here. Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (18:44.781)
growth and for confidence, but wherever you go, you still take you with you. Like the you that’s innate, that is your level of self -worth and your belief about your unworthiness, you still take that.

person to whatever goal you accomplish doesn’t change your worth. And so I think like, I think, you know, moments in our lives, maybe the one with your mom, definitely with me, you know, I always thought if I just achieve enough, you know, then my parents will be proud or then I’ll, you know, be whatever. And it just the more I’ve just achieved, achieved, achieved it. Like I remember, you know, when I was a Denny’s waitress having these big dreams.

Kimberly Snyder (18:59.63)
Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (19:25.485)
but not thinking I was worthy of them. And I remember building enough confidence to launch a business and all the things. But I can still remember having sold a business for over a billion dollars cash. All the things in my life, like seeming like a fairy tale, the Forbes list and this and that. And I was so proud to be donating tens of millions of dollars in product and service. Like all these things that should make me, I would think make someone feel enough, but they do not.

Kimberly Snyder (19:37.486)
Yeah. Crazy. Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (19:55.389)
They are all here all they make you confident, but but what I didn’t realize is like underneath it all I still did not believe I was worthy and that was a whole different journey of like building self -worth because our self -worth Will become our ceiling especially of fulfillment like you can

Kimberly Snyder (19:55.982)
Bye!

Kimberly Snyder (20:11.214)
Mmm.

Jamie Kern Lima (20:12.251)
out succeed your self worth. You cannot and when we don’t believe we’re worthy of something we either won’t go for it. We will sabotage it along the way or we’ll actually get it but arrive at it feeling unfulfilled like it’s not enough like we’re never enough. And that moment with my mom who adopted me who is the closest person to me my entire life at the very end you know I always you know she worked really really hard and I always just

Kimberly Snyder (20:29.23)
Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (20:44.205)
thought I’d make her even more proud when I kept accomplishing stuff. And I remember it was her last few days on earth and I remember her not being able to talk much. And I asked, I was trying to ask her as many things as I could in her final days. And one of them was like, what are your hopes and dreams for me?

Kimberly Snyder (20:46.862)
Hmm.

Kimberly Snyder (21:07.181)
Mmm.

Jamie Kern Lima (21:08.571)
I thought she was gonna say, you know, I want you to be a great mom or love it. You know, I didn’t know what she was gonna say. You know, you can accomplish anything, take over the world, you know. And she literally said, I hope you, like her greatest hope and dream for me. She said, I hope you never change. Like, wouldn’t it be so sad if you changed? And it just was like.

Kimberly Snyder (21:17.198)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (21:36.859)
such a life -changing moment for me because and I don’t know why we’d never have a conversation like that sooner. I don’t know why maybe it was similar for you. It’s like huh it just all happened in her final moments on this earth and it just hit me like a ton of bricks like my gosh like like who I am is the victory like my innate like my innateness is

Kimberly Snyder (21:45.166)
Mmm.

Kimberly Snyder (22:02.414)
Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (22:06.651)
is worthy, fully worthy.

Kimberly Snyder (22:08.014)
so much bigger than any accomplishment, any label, any Jamie this any bio. Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (22:11.867)
I’m already past any mischief, failure, regret, like, like, and it just was just freeing in so many ways and

helped me reconcile so many things. It’s like as I’ve been on this self -worth building journey, which I’ll be on every day the rest of my life, part of in the book Worthy are now my new show, the Jamie Kerlima Show podcast. Why I’m doing this podcast, this new show that I just launched is the same as Worthy the book, which is that…

You know, it’s scary to share vulnerable parts of our lives. And in the book, for example, I share a whole lot of things I never thought I would share about, you know, things in my past and having not just waitress at Denny’s, but waitress at a strip club. All these different things that I, a lot of people didn’t know. And I talk about a lot of things I went through because a lot of us have pasts where we think,

Kimberly Snyder (23:09.646)
Yet we all do!

Jamie Kern Lima (23:11.259)
We all do and we think like, someone who’s done what I’ve done can’t be worthy or enough or someone who’s done this can’t be CEO of a company or a bestselling author or this or that or the leader of a team. We tell ourselves all these lies and you know, when we have failures or regrets or mistakes or whatever, they can shake our confidence but a lot of people, we let our past like.

Kimberly Snyder (23:36.11)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (23:36.955)
We let it take root at our identity level where we start to actually think we’re a failure or we’re a reject or we’re damaged goods or we’re, you know.

a mistake or unwanted or any of those things. And then when we like have it take root at the identity level, that’s when it can really impact our worthiness. And I did that for a long part of my life. Like I used to, you know, I used to and I would be so curious actually about your journey with this. But, you know, I used to always feel abandoned always and unwanted. And for me, it like manifested in so many ways in my life, even to the point where number one, I would stay in relationships way too long, like with dudes.

Kimberly Snyder (24:05.678)
Yeah. yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (24:16.685)
that were, I mean, but like I didn’t want to abandon them. And I remember running at Cosmetics, like, you know, we were crushing it, like filled to over a thousand employees, all this kind of stuff. Even then, I would have an employee that, I mean, deserved to be fired. Like we’re talking about, it was not even up for debate. And I would still hang on to them too long and think, I can fix it. I don’t want to abandon them. And like,

It just manifested in so many ways until I realized and kind of changed.

the label I was putting on myself as abandoned or unwanted, you know? And I talk about in Worthy how I went through that process of telling myself a new story and attaching new meaning to the experiences I’ve gone through and seeing it as like, no, no, no, I wasn’t abandoned or, you know, given away for adoption at birth. Like I was actually chosen. Like I was chosen, my God, to come into this world. I was chosen to be adopted. I was like…

Kimberly Snyder (25:11.406)
Yes.

Kimberly Snyder (25:15.694)
was your soul journey.

Jamie Kern Lima (25:17.275)
yes, the whole journey, like change the whole narrative about it. So, you know, I think with you and you talked about also abandonment stuff, how have you kind of reconciled that? Where are you at, I should say? You have anything, you’re out with that now.

Kimberly Snyder (25:30.542)
I mean, it’s a work in process, right? Because I see how it leads to attachment in some ways. And I talk about this in my upcoming heart book where my first son was born. I couldn’t believe the love, but I also was like attachment parent, the opposite of my childhood there completely when he was awake. I only shot podcasts when he was napping. I would write and work all night and I’m still.

healing that to an extent because my kids are like, they get all of me and it at times strains my marriage and my husband wants more time with, you know, he and I and my husband is a whole other story because it was this wild love I couldn’t control. But for most of my life, I stayed in safe relationships where I would be the one that could do the abandoning. Right. It was like, I love, they love me more than I could love them because otherwise it just felt like unsafe and yeah.

just too scary for me. So it was, you know, just a lot of depletion. Yeah. It shows. Yeah, it really is. And it continues, like you said. And one of the things I love that in your journey, there’s just this strength in dealing with rejection. All the times QVC said no to you and all the times these retailers said no to IT cosmetics. But did you notice, Jamie, as you’re worth

Jamie Kern Lima (26:35.323)
Isn’t it a lifelong journey for all of us? Yeah. Yeah.

Kimberly Snyder (26:54.638)
started to grow because like you said it continues to this day there’s more of this armor against taking things personally because I think that’s what holds back a lot of people and women is like the rejection feels like it’s us like we’re wrong and there’s something bad in us and so it hurts so much that we don’t try.

Jamie Kern Lima (27:14.971)
Yeah, I, you know, there’s a chapter in Worthy called, chapter two, called when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life. And I, you know, I think that…

This is such a huge deal in life because most people, especially women, will sit on the sidelines of life, like literally on the sidelines because they’re scared to get rejection or failure or be seen starting small or any of those other things. And, you know, and, and just to like, just to do this in under two minutes, you know, you know, as you know, but just also for everyone listening, like, you know how everything in life is literally the meaning we attach to it and the meaning of the

Kimberly Snyder (28:02.446)
Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (28:03.389)
to it and just for everyone listening the I take in worthy the book and I’m gonna do a I’m gonna do an episode on this because I feel like this is such a big thing but when you know I talk about the four

like this four step process like reframe rejection because a long story short had I not learned to do this first of all had I not learned to trust my knowing and and get still and pray and make a decision trust my knowing that I’m supposed to keep going or I’m supposed to do this product authentically or I’m supposed to you know Try again or whatever it is and I don’t learn to trust my knowing over all the nose I Could have never built a billion dollar business. I would have given up so long ago

That’s the first thing because it was hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of rejections over the years and every time even the most painful rejection I would get like still and pray about it I would always feel this knowing that I’m supposed to keep going and I think sometimes we have a knowing whether it’s like I’m supposed to put myself out there I’m supposed to be in the relationship. I’m supposed to not be in this job. I’m supposed to not be in the relationship I’m supposed to you know, write a book we all have these knowings and before we know it our self -doubt other people’s opinions

Kimberly Snyder (28:52.462)
Amazing.

Jamie Kern Lima (29:15.821)
opinions, the noise of the world, all the rejections of us initially trying, all the no’s talk us out of our own knowing. And I think like just really learning to hear your own knowing, your own intuition and trust it.

is like, and literally make the decision to trust it, even if it feels like it hasn’t worked before. Even if you feel like you keep trusting it, but it’s not going your way. But you got to just keep trusting it because it was like hundreds and hundreds of times where I kept feeling I’m supposed to keep going. And then I would go for it. And Sephora would say no again, or QVC or the department stores or whoever. I mean, it was hundreds of no’s until we finally got one big shot on QVC. And even then, I had to trust my gut.

to do the presentation the way that I knew I was supposed to do it, even though everyone was saying don’t do it. And that was like me taking my makeup off, showing my bright red rosacea, me, you know, putting real people as models, like, like trusting your own knowing. And I think this is such a big deal. Such a big deal for women, especially. But I think even you know, even if you trust your intuition, you feel like it was wrong, like it’s never wrong. I feel like it leads us to the next right step.

Kimberly Snyder (30:06.766)
Hahaha!

Jamie Kern Lima (30:30.075)
we’re supposed to take or the next right answer or lesson that we’re supposed to learn or relearn over and over. Like I really believe that’s the big thing.

And yeah, I go through this four part process on how to identify your current definition of rejection because a lot of people associate so much pain with the idea of rejection or failing at something. And as human beings, we are wired to avoid pain at all costs. So if we associate pain with rejection or failure, we’re gonna stay stuck. We’re gonna not go for it. And so, and so, and so, and worthy, I talk about like the four part framework that I would go through

Kimberly Snyder (30:49.422)
.

Kimberly Snyder (31:00.334)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (31:11.549)
and over and over about like, okay, identifying what is my current definition of rejection that I’m not even aware of, but it’s what I’m telling myself about it. How do I redefine it to something I truly believe, but I’m not afraid of, and that I believe to be true. And I talk about, you know, how many new definitions I would write out definitions of rejection I believe to be true. And I’d replace them with the old because my original definition was always yeah, I’m not enough every time I’d get rejected.

Kimberly Snyder (31:19.022)
Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima (31:41.421)
or fail. Yeah, there’s proof I’m not enough. Like a lot of people, their current one they think of without thinking about is like, yeah, I’m not smart enough. I don’t have what it takes. You know, why’d I even try? You know, I’m a loser. I don’t I’m not enough. Like, we tell ourselves that and it’s so painful. We don’t want to feel that. So then we don’t go for things. And, and so like, I replaced all those with definitions to the point where I didn’t even need to think about it anymore. And I’d actually embrace rejection. But like some of them were rejections, God’s protection. And I would just I believe

Kimberly Snyder (31:53.998)
Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (32:11.325)
I believe it. I believe it. You know, rejection’s redirection or rejection’s a victory. It means I’m one of the brave ones willing to go for it. Rejection means I’m one step closer, you know, to the yes. I’m putting in the reps. I’m getting stronger.

Kimberly Snyder (32:15.662)
Yes.

Kimberly Snyder (32:24.302)
Ugh. I love it!

Jamie Kern Lima (32:27.803)
And then the third R and the four is revisit. And this one’s huge. This could be a whole other podcast together. But revisiting past rejections and failures that we don’t even realize we’re holding onto. And they’re taking root in our identity and revealing what’s our definition we’re giving to that. What’s the meaning we’re attaching to when that happened? And then like,

redefining the past that we’re revisiting. And, you know, I did that with being adopted where I always thought like, I was abandoned and I redid it and like, no, no, no, no, I’m chosen. And then like, I believe that. And my favorite, you’ll know this because you read Worthy as well, but my favorite definition that I applied to almost everything in my life, and it’s almost always true. It’s like for anybody listening right now who’s had a recent heartbreak or setback or friend betrayal,

Kimberly Snyder (32:57.038)
Yes.

Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima (33:19.965)
or somebody they apply for the job over and over and over and didn’t get it and the person didn’t see their value or you know they sent their book out five times and every publisher rejected it whatever it might be

When that happens to me and I think this happens to us almost every day like the friend doesn’t invite us to the party or whatever it is, right? It could be big things and small like I will literally intercept my own self -doubt in those moments and I will say to myself and I will believe this that I’ll like imagine God saying to me. you weren’t rejected. I hid your value from them because they’re not assigned to your destiny. I believe this.

Kimberly Snyder (34:01.198)
Mmm, I love that part of the book.

Jamie Kern Lima (34:03.867)
Yeah, I believe this to my core. I believe our creator blocks our value from people who are not assigned to our destiny. So when I have moments where someone hurts my feelings or doesn’t see my value or the thing didn’t go my way, instead of me thinking what I used to do, like, I’m not enough, I’m this, I’m like, okay, I have divine trust in this moment. God is blocking my value from that person because they are not assigned to my destiny or God is blocking me. Yeah.

Kimberly Snyder (34:27.854)
Yeah, just bounces off. I love it.

Jamie Kern Lima (34:34.363)
Yeah, and I believe it. I believe it for every single one of us. And what’s beautiful is even if I’m wrong, which I’m not, even if I’m wrong, the result is you just still go for things when you believe it. And it can turn out pretty well when you do that. Yeah.

Kimberly Snyder (34:51.63)
And we get stronger and stronger. Well, Jamie, I know we have a very limited time today. I would love to have you back on to talk about some of these topics. And I also want to say that it’s so apparent as you grow in your worth, like I said, there’s this part of the book where you talked about being working at the strip club and just this connection that you felt with these women who are trying to better their lives. They were trying to

take care of their children. They were trying to do all these things. I just felt this, oof, like this deep, deep kindness, love. The worthiness brings us, I think, closer to God’s plan, which is to connect with our brothers and sisters, not to tear each other down, not to judge, but to be here to support each other. So there’s this beautiful, which brings us to more fulfillment and love coming through our hearts. Because when we’re worthy, why would we ever want to be

unkind or say something about someone else because we realize everybody is worthy. So what comes through so strongly in your energy and in your writing is this big part of the worthiness, I think, is the more of us that step into our worth, the more kind and compassionate and connected the whole world is going to be. So yes, it’s for our personal benefit, but it’s also on a collective scale.

Jamie Kern Lima (36:13.083)
It really is and it breaks generational cycles and it just all of it and and thank you for saying that and I think like the you know

I think if anyone could just have one takeaway, there’s so many in this conversation. I’m so grateful for all the stuff you’ve shared as well. But there’s so many incredible takeaways in this conversation. But I think with worthiness, the most beautiful, powerful thing is that every single person listening to us right now is fully worthy. Like fully, exactly as they are right now. Exactly. It does not matter.

Kimberly Snyder (36:50.894)
Don’t change!

Jamie Kern Lima (36:52.987)
you have messed up in the past or have regrettable incidents or things that you think like, if they knew that, or how many failures or skeletons in the cloud, none of that matters. And similarly, I do not care how successful you are, how many, you know, whatever you’ve accomplished, all of that is irrelevant. The you that’s innately you, exactly as you are in this moment, like is enough and fully worthy. And the most beautiful thing is like the more

The more we step into that, the more our life feels like joy and tastes like freedom, the more we like live in alignment with our assignment. Like that’s the thing. That’s the thing. So that’s my message. Yes. Yes.

Kimberly Snyder (37:35.534)
That’s what we all want. That’s what matters. So Jamie, thank you so much. I could literally talk to you forever. I hope we get to do a part two. It’d be amazing. Tell us where to find out more information about you, where we can connect to you, your amazing, worthy buck, social media, all of it.

Jamie Kern Lima (37:51.547)
Yeah, well, thank you. Yes, so I just just just launched this is like a lifelong dream 40 plus years in the making just launched the Jamie Kern Lima show podcast first guest is Oprah second guest is Robin Roberts and that we talked so much about faith and about Divine trust and how do you truly like hear the calling on your life and be obedient to the answer of it and just like I’m really excited. It’s you know,

I think why you and I connected so instantly. That’s how it felt for me is that like, it’s such a similar mission, which is like, my gosh, we’re all in this together. Like how do we raise each other’s vibrance together? And so, so how to find me Jamie Kern, Lima show podcast, just launched. So that is everywhere you get your podcasts and also on YouTube. And then the book worthy, is everywhere books are sold. There’s a bunch of like free bonuses and stuff on. I do have like the word, the four part rejection thing is totally

Kimberly Snyder (38:24.078)
Yes.

Kimberly Snyder (38:29.646)
Yes.

Kimberly Snyder (38:45.71)
Beautiful.

Jamie Kern Lima (38:49.533)
reworthybook .com and I don’t sell anything, I don’t do any courses or anything like that. I donate 100 % of all the proceeds to Feeding America from the Book and so and then Jamie Crenleema on Instagram and social media as well. So thank you so much for having me by the way. It’s such a great conversation.

Kimberly Snyder (39:06.19)
Beautiful. my gosh, Jamie. Thank you so much. We will link directly everyone to all of Jamie’s information where you can get the book directly. It is such an amazing book. I can’t say enough about how much I recommend it. Yes, the information, but it’s also coming through your true self. It’s coming through your heart. That’s not something you can manufacture. It’s not about, you know, all this outside stuff. It is worth its weight in gold because it’s coming through the heart wisdom. So everyone, once again, Jamie, Curran, Lima, Worthy, get your coffee today. And thank you so much, Jamie, for connecting. I love you so much. I love your kind heart. I love what you’re putting out in the world. Thank you so much, sister, for being with us today.

Kimberly Snyder (39:58.798)
Yay! my gosh. Jamie,

Jamie Kern Lima (41:32.283)
I love it so much. Yeah, well, thank you. Amanda is on this Riverside right now. Well, I was gonna say and she can also make sure you get my information and we can catch up. Yeah.

Kimberly Snyder (41:41.07)
okay. great

Jamie Kern Lima (39:53.691)
Thank you so much.