How to Believe in Your Self Worth with Jamie Kern Lima [Episode 907]
This weekās topic: How to Believe in Your Self Worth with Jamie Kern Lima
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so thrilled for my guest today. Her name is Jamie Kern Lima. She is the New York Times bestselling author of this wonderful book called Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. I will say that I get sent a lot of books on all different types of topics. It is very rare for me to read a book cover to cover and I read every single sentence of this book. I absolutely loved it. Iām very excited to talk to Jamie today. Jamie is an amazing woman. She just launched her new podcast The Jamie Kern Lima Show with her first guests being Oprah Winfrey and Robin Roberts.
Jamie is also an incredibly successful business women having sold her self made company, It Cosmetics, which so many of us have used for so many years, to L āOreal in a billion dollar deal. Since then sheās an active philanthropist has led leadership training in more than a hundred prisons and womenās shelters across the United States. And what I can say after interviewing her is that sheās a very kind, compassionate, heart centered, authentic woman, which is maybe her biggest achievement in the world today. So thank you so much, Jamie, for being here on the podcast with me.
About Jamie Kern Lima
Jamie Kern Lima is the author of the New York Times bestseller āBelieve IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable,ā and recently released a new book, and instant New York Times bestseller, āWorthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life.ā
She is also the host of the podcast The Jamie Kern Lima Show , which just debuted with and interview with Oprah Winfrey, and upcoming guests including Robin Roberts, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Chrissy Metz, Hoda Kotb, and more sharing never-before-told stories and insights. The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast features life-changing conversations that aim to ignite the light inside of listeners and viewers, build their self-worth, and leave them feeling seen, understood, less alone, more enough, newly inspired, and with tools to fully live their best life.
Lima is an entrepreneur who founded IT Cosmetics in her living room and would become the biggest QVC beauty Brand and sold it to LāOrĆ©al for $1.2 billion. She is on the Forbes list of Richest Self-Made Women. An active philanthropist who has funded leadership training in more than 100 prisons and shelters across the United States and has donated over $40 million in products and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. She is donating 100% of her author proceeds from her books āBelieve ITā and āWorthy.ā
Guest Resources
Episode Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background of Jamie Curren Lima
02:12 Believing in Our Worthiness and Melding with Spirit
05:00 The Journey of Unlearning Lies and Embracing Worthiness
07:23 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Trusting in Our Creator
10:58 The Temptation of Showing Up as Our Representative
13:17 The Impact of Perspective Shifts and Divine Order
15:00 The Perfection in Our Imperfections and Divine Plan
17:11 The Illusion of External Validation and Self-Worth
19:55 The Importance of Building Self-Worth and Embracing Authenticity
21:45 Embracing Worthiness: Recognizing Our Inherent Value
25:31 Overcoming Rejection: Trusting Our Intuition
28:15 Redefining Failure: Changing the Narrative
30:41 The Power of Vulnerability: Deepening Connections
36:13 Living in Alignment: Embracing Our Worthiness
Ā
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Transcript:
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly Snyder (00:00.686)
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so thrilled for my guest today. Her name is Jamie Curren Lima. She is the New York Times bestselling author of this wonderful book called Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. I will say that I get sent a lot of books on all different types of topics. It is very rare for me to read a book cover to cover and I read every
single sentence of this book. I absolutely loved it. Iām very excited to talk to Jamie today. Jamie is an amazing woman. She also sold her company, It Cosmetics, which so many of us have used for so many years, to L āOreal in a billion dollar deal. Sheās an active philanthropist, philanthropist, big word. She has led leadership training in more than a hundred prisons and womenās shelters across the United States.
And what I can say from her book is that sheās also a very heart centered, authentic woman, which is maybe her biggest achievement in the world today. So thank you so much, Jamie, for being here with me. Iām so excited to chat with you.
Jamie Kern Lima (01:15.355)
Thank you so much for having me. I am.
Iām excited and I just have to say I get to meet a lot of people behind the scenes and sometimes theyāre not the same behind as they are in front and it was such a beautiful experience to come on to this conversation with you and the first thing I see is youāre meditating and youāre so congruent and itās just so beautiful and so true and I just want to honor that off the top and also just say thank you so much for having me.
Kimberly Snyder (01:45.198)
Well, thank you so much, Jamie. I mean, Iām getting goosebumps because like I said, your book came in and there was this space for me to actually read it and I started going through it and there was just so much I deeply connected to. So I want to honor that this isnāt a book thatās written in a place of preaching or disconnection. Itās really coming through your heart and we can really feel it. And itās full of practical advice and itās full of many stories.
So one of the things I wanna say right off the bat is obviously the title of the book is Worthy and itās about really believing youāre enough. And I really love how in the book you share, because weāve heard this before, like, you know, believe in yourself, love yourself. And I feel like itās, I could say from personal experience, really challenging to do from the human part of us, right? Because the linear mind likes to compare and say, well,
maybe I donāt have the degrees or the skills or that personās pretty or more context or more money or whatever it is. But you really bring in, and itās a little bit towards the end of the book, but woven throughout this idea of melding more with spirit, higher power, God, universe, however we want to connect to that. Because when we have that energy and that force moving behind us, we realize,
Well, I am enough because Iām unique and Iām this unique creation from spirit. And so itās a very different perspective from trying to find worthiness from this, you know, from the broken or the wounded part of us.
Jamie Kern Lima (03:16.155)
Yes, thatās so good. I believe the lie most of my entire life. I just needed to achieve more or make more people happy or accomplish enough and then Iād finally feel enough. Iād finally be worthy and I lost decades of my life to that. And this book and this journey, I donāt know if youāve had this experience Kimberly, I felt like this book was a divine download. Like I, when Worthy came through me, Iā¦
Kimberly Snyder (03:41.902)
yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (03:45.787)
just felt like
It was at a point in my life where I was really called to be obsessed with and immersed in, and also in service of helping as many people as possible learn that theyāre fully worthy exactly as they are, exactly as their creator made them. And I think that the world sort of has us believe if we please enough people and if we do all the things that build self -confidence, weāll finally feel enough, but none of them build self -worth, which is different. And I love,
be the first person thatās ever actually asked that question and said it in these words. And thatās how I know you went deep in the book, which I love that. Yeah, I mean, this was a big epiphany in my life. And for anyone listening to us, whether, you know, they have faith or no faith or believe in the universe or whatever, whoever your source, your divine source or creator is, is for you, the biggest
One of the biggest tools now I use almost every single day whenever I start to feel unworthy or to listen to my own self doubt is I realize like, wait a minute. In my life, I believe that.
God exists. I believe our lives are divinely orchestrated. I believe that we all have an anointing and that, you know, weāre called and all the different things. And how can I believe Iām, you know, create divinely created in Godās image, but then doubt that Iām enough? Itās like the two canāt exist. And at the same time,
Kimberly Snyder (05:09.134)
Mm.
Kimberly Snyder (05:21.294)
Right.
Jamie Kern Lima (05:26.683)
Itās either one or the other. And what I quickly realized is, my gosh, and maybe weāre going too deep, too fast, but okay. It was a massive tool now in my toolbox. I have to use every day, by the way, because I believe for most of us,
Kimberly Snyder (05:33.934)
no, I love this. We love this in the community.
Jamie Kern Lima (05:47.227)
The journey of believing weāre enough is like a lifelong journey of not like learning all this stuff, but unlearning all the lies that lead to self doubt that tell us who we are is not enough and like igniting the truths that sort of like wake up the worthiness in us. And, and this is actually one of my favorite tools. And I donāt think anyoneās ever asked me this. This is one of my favorite tools is that I
Kimberly Snyder (05:57.326)
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (06:08.635)
The second I start having self doubt, what I actually realize is if I believe what I say I believe, if I believe that
My creator made me and I am divinely made and I believe in God. If I truly believe that then me doubting Iām enough and me doubting I have what it takes and doubting how I was. Iām actually thatās actually not self doubt. Thatās actually me trusting my own thoughts and doubting Godās word. Itās actually like God doubt is what it is. So right. So every time I have self doubt or I think Iām not enough. I donāt Iām not worthy of walking in the room or asking the
Kimberly Snyder (06:37.166)
yes thatās i love that
Jamie Kern Lima (06:47.869)
person if they want to be friends or raising my hand and saying pick me or submitting my book proposal, whatever it is, whatever it might be. I do believe in my core and my soul. Like I believe.
made in my creatorās image. So am I gonna believe that or am I gonna believe my own self doubt? And so I quickly just sort of like hack through the situation and silence my own self doubt that way when I make the decision to trust in who I believe my creator is over my own thoughts and my own self doubt. And yeah, thatās one of the many tools in Worthy on how to build self worth. And I tell you, it has been a lifelong
Kimberly Snyder (07:23.406)
Mmm.
Jamie Kern Lima (07:32.539)
journey for me. There have been many, many things in my life where I let my self -doubt get so loud and doubted myself right out of my own destiny. And Iām just sort ofā¦
so passionate about not doing that anymore and about joining with each and every person on their own journey, you know, of how to unlearn those lies and just really embrace your own worth. And itās just an honor, by the way, to be here on the show. Thank you. I just, after 40 years, I just launched my own show for the first time ever, the Jamie Curren Lima Show. Thank you.
Kimberly Snyder (08:01.438)
What do you got?
Kimberly Snyder (08:06.382)
I saw that, congratulations. I feel like you were born to have that show and to share with other people their stories. I saw a clip of your interview with Robin Roberts where she was sharing about being a Christian and being gay at the same time and reconciling all these parts, right? Because like you were saying, if we doubt God, weāre in our head. Weāre in this limited, egoic,
comparative, competitive, better than, less than, right, wrong versus this, you know what I call the hard energy or the true self, this term you also use in the book, this expansive part of us which canāt be labeled, like to put ourselves in boxes and other people in boxes and that really limits our energy. Takes a lot of energy, doesnāt it?
Jamie Kern Lima (08:52.379)
Yeah, it takes so much. And I find like so many people, itās wild. You look at like all the data and itās like.
Right now, 91 % of girls and women opt out of meaningful activities in their life when they donāt like how they look or they donāt feel enough. And itās like, when we start to think about, and this is a big aha for me in my life, right? Itās 80 % of women donāt believe theyāre enough. 73 % of men feel inadequate. And itās like we spend so much time and lose so much time and energy.
Kimberly Snyder (09:20.334)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (09:26.715)
and missed opportunities and I think missed callings and when we sort of believe those lies and I think they result in so many people tempted. I mean, Iāve done this so much in my life just trying to be a people pleaser or show up as my representative as the person I think I need to be to make that person happier or to get the job or whatever it is. And itās like you look at our world now
Kimberly Snyder (09:42.094)
Yes.
Mask.
Jamie Kern Lima (09:56.669)
2024 and and thank you for the beautiful work that you do and and that you put out into this world because most people I mean just by the numbers alone most people are lonelier than ever and and feeling more disconnected than ever and I think the temptation to show up as our representative is a temptation to make other people happy itās like anytime we do that we think weāre creating connection but weāre just creating disconnection weāre like putting that wall that
Kimberly Snyder (10:14.51)
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (10:25.371)
barrier between us and someone else when youāre not.
when youāre not, you know, when youāre not who you truly are, you know, number one, itās like we chip away at our own self worth one representative moment at a time, because weāre telling ourselves weāre not worthy of being who we truly are every time we try to show up to as someone weāre not to make someone else happy. And also we just feel lonelier than ever. So I think that, you know, in a world where and itās so funny to Kimberly, I feel like it was like five minutes ago
when people were worried about is that a filter or not. Now people are worried about is that an AI video of the actual real person because you literally cannot tell the difference.
Kimberly Snyder (11:08.398)
my gosh.
Jamie Kern Lima (11:09.243)
And itās just like thereās thereās just so much disconnection everywhere. And I think there couldnāt be a better time for them, you know, to really dive into self -worth, which is why I wrote Worthy and also for the work that youāre putting out there in the world and your book coming out in September and everything else. Like we need this more than ever. We need connection and to feel our heart and to feel our truth and to feel our worth. Like more than ever.
Kimberly Snyder (11:31.374)
goosebumps all over. Jamie, I mean, this is, itās so powerful what you speak of. Thereās so many moments in the book. I love how you share stories to illustrate what youāre talking about. Itās not so, itās not cold or just, you know, businessy, but youāre really teaching from this embodied place. And I was sitting there crying and my husband was like, why are you crying? And there was this part in the book.
that really touched me where you were talking about your mother passing away and how she said to you, you donāt change. And it was this epiphany moment where you realized like you were saying, instead of trying to water myself down or people please or be what I think people are gonna like, Iām gonna be Jamie. And so this touched me so much Jamie, because a couple of years ago, my mom also passed away and my older son wasnāt yet a year old. And what she said to me,
before she couldnāt speak anymore because the cancer became so much and so painful. It all happened in six weeks too, by the way. She said to me, you picked me, remember? And it was almost like this moment of, you know, we had a complicated, so much love, but complications, sort of, I felt not seen. I was imperfectionist, trying to feel love on the outside, having the perfect grades, felt neglected. There was a lot of things. But in that moment, Jamie, when she said to me, you picked me.
It was that perspective change that you talk about in the book where things are happening for us, not to us. It was like, whoa, like all this stuff is for my growth. You know, Godās spirit doesnāt give us things to push us down, but to allow us to blossom more into ourselves. So that was such a beautiful, woof, woof. my gosh, Jamie, it was, it was a bomb.
Jamie Kern Lima (13:17.307)
How did that impact you when she said you picked me?
Kimberly Snyder (13:25.23)
And Iāll tell you what happened. I just erupted inside. It changed my whole perspective of life. She passed about three days later in my arms. A few, and then it changed my whole life. I looked at everything, Jamie, and I said, this is not it. Meaning my relationship, we werenāt moving forward. I was in this cushy situation. We had a child together. We were engaged, but not married. So boom, I laughed.
I moved out, you know, in the Philippines where my familyās from, thereās no such thing as divorce. Itās illegal. So I left Jamie and I became a single mom. I lost my mom. I was a new mom. And it was like, boom. And thatās when my life started to really open up and I started to write these Hay House books and I started my business, Saluna, and which is about wholeness, the sun and the moon and everything and showing all these parts of ourselves.
but it came from that, oof, that rock bottom place. So when you talk about your rock bottom places and the buck, oof, does that really open up energy in a way? I can just feel it running through so many people and so many women that are reading your book, Jamie. I know it ran through me deeply.
Jamie Kern Lima (14:39.835)
When you, Iām like getting emotional listening to you. When you, when she said you picked me and then everything, and then like everything blew up in your life and you made all those changes. Like, was it almost like you picked, like sheās like, you picked me and then the healing of that, that shift in perspective over everything, like, she may have like, you may have felt unseen, like all the different things. And then.
Kimberly Snyder (15:00.654)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (15:06.491)
and then having that like divine faith and like, I picked her what you just mentioned for your own spiritual growth and all that. And then it feels like then you then all of a sudden after that picked you.
Kimberly Snyder (15:17.486)
Yeah, it feels like, you know what it feels like? Thereās a level beyond forgiveness, right? Because first I was like, Iām going to forgive that, you know, she, she went back to work when I was two weeks old. And so I had a lot of abandonment issues that I know you talked about in your book being adopted and the beautiful things you shared. so I was working with a lot of like, I have to forgive. And I want to like, you know, this anger and resentment, but when it was like, no, you picked me, thereās this level of perfection.
that we can step into in the way in which we see Godās plan. Like this is for me. I wouldnāt be this strong. I wouldnāt be able to connect and keep striving and love other women and do all these things if I hadnāt suffered so much as a child perhaps, right? And felt so alone or, you know, had these horrible eating disorders and locked myself up and had bulimia for years because I couldnāt digest life. I donāt know if I could help.
Women work with their wellness and their energy and do all these things, right? So this perfection came through Jamie of Iām worthy. And it wasnāt that I, you know, God forgot about me or this sucks and everybody else has these perfect family lives. It was more like, this, thereās this divine order and Iām going to play my part, Iām going to live in my heart and be as full of life as I can be because thatās why I think weāre here.
Jamie Kern Lima (16:38.491)
and itās like you wouldnāt know what itās like to.
Now see everyone if you never felt unseen right all of it. Yeah, you know, there that is so beautiful thereās a Friend of my name Roy Vaden who says that he has this quote I just think is so beautiful and profound where he says because a lot of people are searching for their purpose and theyāre like do I have a purpose and theyāre trying to find it maybe in a job or in a person or whatever and he says, you know one of the greatest ways to find it he says that in life or
Kimberly Snyder (16:45.71)
Thatās it!
Kimberly Snyder (17:05.678)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (17:11.981)
were best positioned to serve the person we once were. And when he says that, Iām like, it hit home for me because most of my life, I didnāt think I was enough. And I struggled with self -worth issues. And I thought I could achieve enough to finally feel enough. So I have a message to look for.
Kimberly Snyder (17:15.95)
Mmm.
Kimberly Snyder (17:33.326)
yeah, I know that feeling.
Jamie Kern Lima (17:35.547)
We have that common. Yeah. And I thought like, if I finally get this and you know, for anyone listening, I think so many of us go through this like, if I we believe this live, I finally achieved that thing, then Iām going to feel enough. You know, if I finally get the six pack abs or I finally get that job title or I finally win that thing or get that number in the bank account or or find a relationship or have kids or whatever it might be. But but
Kimberly Snyder (17:49.422)
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima (18:03.803)
All those things are amazing and can be amazing and they fuel your growth and they build your self confidence but none of them build self worth which is different and I think
Itās why weāve a lot of us have arrived at those like external goals and theyāre fun, great, but we still within five minutes feel like, why is still missing? Yeah. And itās like, we all know the, you know, so many people see the celebrity like their life theyāve theyāre so famous. Why are they destroying their life or like the astronaut who lands on the moon and then comes back and or the Olympic gold medalists and then destroy their lives. And itās like, you can accomplish all these goals and thatās beautiful for a
Kimberly Snyder (18:19.886)
Yes.
Kimberly Snyder (18:23.534)
Itās in here. Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (18:44.781)
growth and for confidence, but wherever you go, you still take you with you. Like the you thatās innate, that is your level of self -worth and your belief about your unworthiness, you still take that.
person to whatever goal you accomplish doesnāt change your worth. And so I think like, I think, you know, moments in our lives, maybe the one with your mom, definitely with me, you know, I always thought if I just achieve enough, you know, then my parents will be proud or then Iāll, you know, be whatever. And it just the more Iāve just achieved, achieved, achieved it. Like I remember, you know, when I was a Dennyās waitress having these big dreams.
Kimberly Snyder (18:59.63)
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima (19:25.485)
but not thinking I was worthy of them. And I remember building enough confidence to launch a business and all the things. But I can still remember having sold a business for over a billion dollars cash. All the things in my life, like seeming like a fairy tale, the Forbes list and this and that. An
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