How to Increase Your Tolerance for Uncertainty and Let Go of Reassurance-Seeking Patterns [Episode 908]

Topic: How to Increase Your Tolerance for Uncertainty

Namaste, loves! I hope you’re having a wonderful week so far. Thank you for joining us as we continue our journey to discover how to live our best, healthiest, and most vibrant lives. Our focus is on achieving true wellness through our four cornerstones: nutrition, physical health, emotional well-being, and spiritual growth. Remember, everything is interconnected!

Episode Summary

Understanding Uncertainty and Letting Go of Reassurance-Seeking Patterns

In this episode, Kimberly Snyder discusses nine evidence-based ways to increase tolerance for uncertainty and let go of reassurance-seeking patterns. She emphasizes that embracing uncertainty leads to abundance and unlimited opportunities. Kimberly takes a deep dive into the topics of understanding the nature of uncertainty, challenging reassurance-seeking behavior, developing coping skills, limiting information overload, seeking support, and establishing a routine. By stepping out of our comfort zones and embracing the unknown, we can live a more fulfilling and resilient life.

 

Episode Chapters

00:00 Embracing Uncertainty: The Path to Abundance
06:34 Breaking Free from Reassurance-Seeking Patterns
25:13 Reducing Anxiety by Limiting Information Overload
32:11 Finding Support in Professionals and Social Groups
37:13 Establishing a Routine for Stability and Security

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• ]The Benefit of Detoxing for Immunity and Overall Health [Episode #567]
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• 6 Simple Food Principles for Increasing Your Vitality and Longevity [Episode #755]
• The Power of Fiber for Metabolism, Ongoing Detoxification and Reducing Inflammation [Episode #850]

STUDIES AND RESEARCH

1. Mindfulness and Uncertainty

• Study: “The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: A meta-analytic review” by Hofmann et al. (2010)
• Findings: A meta-analysis study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Physcology found that mindfulness-based therapy significantly reduces anxiety and depression, which are often linked to intolerance of uncertainty. Mindfulness helps individuals focus on the present moment, reducing the need for certainty about the future.

2. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

• Study: “Cognitive-behavioral therapy for generalized anxiety disorder: A meta-analysis of randomized placebo-controlled trials” by Cuijpers et al. (2014)
• Findings: A 2014 study shows that CBT is effective in treating generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which is characterized by a high intolerance of uncertainty. CBT helps individuals challenge and change their reassurance-seeking behaviors.

3. Exposure Therapy

• Study: “Intolerance of uncertainty and anxiety” by Dugas et al. (1998)
• Findings: A 1998 study in the Journal of Behavioral Research highlighted the role of intolerance of uncertainty in anxiety disorders and suggests that exposure to uncertain situations can help reduce anxiety over time. Gradual exposure allows individuals to become more comfortable with uncertainty.

4. Self-Compassion and Mental Health

• Study: “Self-compassion and psychological well-being” by Neff (2003)
• Findings: A 2003 study  in the Scientific Journal found that self-compassion is positively associated with mental health and well-being. Self-compassion practices can reduce the need for external reassurance by fostering a kinder, more accepting relationship with oneself.

5. Stress Management and Coping Skills

• Study: “Effect of physical activity on mental health: A meta-analysis of prospective studies” by Rebar et al. (2015)
• Findings: A 2015 meta-analysis in the Health Psychology showed that regular physical activity is associated with lower levels of stress and anxiety. Effective stress management through physical activity can help individuals better cope with uncertainty.

6. Decision-Making Confidence

• Study: “Uncertainty and decision making: A psychological perspective” by Tiedens and Linton (2001)
• Findings: A 2001 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology discussed how confidence in decision-making is crucial for managing uncertainty. Practicing decision-making in small, controlled ways can build confidence and reduce anxiety related to uncertain outcomes.

7. Limiting Information Overload

• Study: “The impact of online news consumption on perceptions of uncertainty” by Jones et al. (2021)
• Findings: A 2021 in the Journal of Frontiers and Science study in the suggests that excessive consumption of news, particularly online, can increase feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. Limiting news intake can help manage these feelings.

8. Support Groups and Social Support

• Study: “Social support and recovery in anxiety disorders” by Finlay-Jones and Brown (2013)
• Findings: A 2013 study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology indicated that social support, including support groups, plays a significant role in recovery from anxiety disorders. Connecting with others can provide reassurance and strategies to cope with uncertainty.

9. Growth Mindset

• Study: “Implicit theories of intelligence predict achievement across an adolescent transition: A longitudinal study and an intervention” by Blackwell et al. (2007)
• Findings: A 2007 Study in the Journal of Child Development showed that a growth mindset, or the belief that abilities can be developed through effort, is associated with better stress management and adaptability. Embracing a growth mindset can help individuals view uncertain situations as opportunities for growth.

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly Snyder (00:00.686)
Namaste loves and welcome back to our Thursday Q &A show. I’m excited to be back from Hawaii full of energy and inspiration and excited to get back into some of our topics this week. Speaking of which today we’re going to be talking about nine ways to increase your tolerance for uncertainty and let go of reassurance seeking patterns. This is a really big one for a lot of us, including myself, because on the other side of control and knowing is abundance, is unlimited energy and opportunities. And it’s the ego and the mind that wants to put things in boxes and wants us to know exactly what’s going to happen. It wants us to play safe. And as we all know, this keeps us small and it keeps us limited in our lives. So today we’re going to be talking about nine evidence -based ways in which we can break free from playing small.

and always wanting to be reassured and always wanting to know what’s going to happen around the next corner in our lives and how this is so impactful on elevating our health and our vitality. So I’m really excited to get into today’s show. I also feel like I’m speaking to myself because this is a topic that’s very close to my heart as a recovering perfectionist and a planner.

and always wanting to know the next steps in my life and how things play out. It’s a way, it’s a form of trauma really and wanting to just feel more safety and security. But as we will get into in today’s show, we don’t have to play this out anymore. And so I’ve been learning to break free more and more in my own life, especially these past few years, as I really dove into my heart and into the energy of my true self.

And there really is a very different place to get our safety and security from within us. And when we do this, we feel so much more free and energized and we flow with life and we don’t have the same resistances. So we have less stress. So we just open up this incredible energy in our lives. And I really want to share all of this with you, what has helped me so much, because I truly believe it will help you also. Before we dive a little bit deeper.

Kimberly Snyder (02:20.11)
A little reminder to please subscribe to our show. That way you stay in touch with everything that we are talking about. All our new launches. We just had our glowing greens powder launch. Please check it out for yourself. It has over 1 ,250 milligrams of Amalaki, which is this incredible herb for rejuvenation. Safe and wonderful for all body types to consume long -term every day, as well as other amazing greens like chlorella, moringa, ashitaba, spirulina, and more.

And please leave us a review if you’re enjoying our show, which really helps to have other amazing open hearts find the show and to benefit from this information, which really is our intention. All right, all that being said, let’s get right into our show today. Nine key ways to increase your tolerance for uncertainty and let go of reassurance seeking patterns. Question comes from Oliver in Arkansas. Hello, Oliver.

Out there, hope you’re listening. Your question inspired today’s show. Thank you so much for being part of our community because we really can all benefit from this topic. And you’re right, Kimberly, I love the podcast so much. Thank you. I wanted to ask you how to deal with uncertainty in life. I struggle with it and it can paralyze me at times and it keeps me from connecting with other people. How can I be more comfortable with dealing with uncertainty in my life? So,

The first step, Oliver, and for all of us, all of us listening to this, we first need to understand the nature of uncertainty. So our mind likes to keep things really in boxes. This is why we judge. This is why we compare. This is why we label people as such and such. We label ourselves because it’s a way of compartmentalizing. So it’s…

fragmenting life and which in a way makes us feel safe because we can put things in boxes. This works, this doesn’t, this is right, this is wrong. If I stay in this job then I feel like this will definitely happen. I know I’ll make this much money or at a certain amount of time I should be in this position or this relationship feels safe to me so I’m going to stay in this. I’m not going to get abandoned. Whatever it is, this is very much of the ego. This is of the mind.

Kimberly Snyder (04:39.566)
When we do this, we don’t really feel fulfilled. So my dear friend and co -author Deepak Chopra likes to say that we don’t stay in a situation for long that doesn’t feel natural. And this is true and it isn’t true. It’s true in a sense that we may want to break free. This was certainly my experience when I was in a relationship that clearly wasn’t going anywhere.

This was my experience when I had an office job that I really didn’t like, and I was only working there to save money to go backpacking around the world, and I was able to break free. But we also see where we may stay in situations for a long time, and then we adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms. For some people, it may be cheating on your partner long term because you don’t want to leave the relationship.

or you may not feel inspired in your job or your work. So instead you eat a lot of sugar or treat foods at the end of the day, or you numb with screens every day or social media or whatever it is as a way to cope instead of really going into this aliveness, which at first can feel quite terrifying. It can feel because it’s so new and it’s different and it isn’t

what the mind likes, which is to feel safe and that we can control the situation and we know exactly what’s going to happen. So we need to understand that the nature of life and its wild fullness is by nature uncertain. And we need to start to develop a sense of safety and security within the unknown, within the uncertainty. So how do we do this? Well, first of all, we need to recognize that the difference between control is constriction.

and bearing down and wanting everything to be so neatly planned and having these really tight expectations. So control feels safe, but it’s really an illusion because it keeps us small. So what do we do? What’s the opposite of control is fully letting go into this abyss, into this hugeness, the wildness of life. And so at first it does feel uncontrollable because we can’t control it. So how do we start to feel okay with it?

Kimberly Snyder (07:04.622)
Well, what we can start to do is get really present and start to move moment to moment instead of being so future based. So Eckhart Tolle talks about not letting the present moment always be a means to an end. So I was listening to a little video with him called, hurry slowly. And what he was saying was that we can still get things done. We can still move through our lives. We can still get ready to go out of the house.

but have at least 80 % of our attention on this now moment and only about 20 % future -based, you know, I need to get into the car by a certain time or, you know, this is going to happen in the future, this won’t happen. So what this means is that it’s natural to have a part of our attention on future -based goals and what we need to do to accomplish them. That’s how we function in life. But still the majority of our attention can be in this moment. And in this moment, we can feel okay.

In this moment, we can feel safe. In this moment, we can show up, listen to our hearts, listen to that divine guidance, be led into the next moment, into the next decision without having to go 50 steps down the pathway and then trying to control what’s going to happen and step into territory that is not controllable, such as what other people are going to say or do, outcomes,

We don’t know what’s going to happen in the economy. We don’t know the weather. We don’t know a lot of things. So what we want to do is we want to start to come more into this present moment and bringing our creative power, bringing our energy, bringing our authentic voice, bringing our hearts into this moment, because ultimately this moment is all that we have.

And so when we are in our fullest energy here, when we are doing our best, when we are showing up, when we are following our hearts, things may not always work out perfectly, but there is a sense of strength and resilience and calm just in fully being here. A study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that mindfulness -based therapy significantly reduced anxiety and depression, which is often linked to intolerance of

Kimberly Snyder (09:24.27)
uncertainty. So sometimes I like the word mindfulness, sometimes I don’t because it can feel like full of mind, it can get really heady. But if we go beyond the headiness and we come into the purest sense of mindfulness, which is really awareness, we just start to feel this, again, aliveness in this moment, which then transfers to a sense of enjoyment in this moment. Not, my gosh, am I going to

be able to get married and have kids within the next three years or one year, or am I going to be able to make my rent in six months? Because right now I’m okay, right? These things will play out and they will play out better if we show up in this moment and then we move to the next moment. So this was a really big lesson for me to learn because I was always trying to plan things out and stay in safe relationships and

you know, get these grades to get into this college, to get into this job and to have security in this kind of position and make this kind of salary. So by the time I was 15 or 16 years old, I was going really far down the rabbit hole into my life’s path and my career. And the funny thing is none of it actually played out. It didn’t work out that way. I tried to go into these safe jobs and work in an office.

office environments that didn’t suit me. And so I went the other way. I went into the complete opposite, into complete abandon and backpacking for years, which was a way of me really deeply healing a lot of my trauma. I can look back and say that now and deep control tendencies. And I don’t think we need to vastly between such extremes. But in my case, I experienced

so much unknown in that situation of backpacking. But when I came back to regular life, I had to find the happy medium. So for me, it’s been this growth that continues to this day. And one of the things that has really helped me is our next point. First of all, we want to identify that feeling safe is the mind.

Kimberly Snyder (11:41.742)
And when we go beyond the mind, we go into this heart field, true self energy, we open up to everything, we open up to the best things in life. And we allow amazing relationships and amazing opportunities to come in that would not be possible if we continue to play small. So the next part of this is challenging reassuring, reassurance seeking behavior. Once we’re aware,

of the fact that we like to put things in boxes. We all, most of us like this to different degrees, especially me. We like to, the brain likes to understand and plan and again, compartmentalize. And that’s why judging becomes a big part of this, controlling judging expectations versus the way of the Dow.

which is, I was actually just rereading part of the Tao last night. I was sitting on my porch and it’s such a beautiful reminder. I really liked the translation by Stephen Mitchell about this spaciousness that’s available to us, this other way of living, which we can step into step by step or in leaps and bounds. Sometimes we can take a quantum leap, but just by understanding that if we start to dissolve all these different opinions,

and all these different ways of comparing and judging. And we sit in this stillness and we observe and we are aware and we notice what we’re drawn to. So we may be drawn to certain people, situations. We may want to spend time with certain people and we don’t want to spend time with others. But without all the narrative, without all the stories, without all the right or wrong, we just start to go into this very intuitive way of living so that we start to challenge

When reassurance seeking behavior comes up, we start to become more aware when we are playing safe, when something starts to feel uncomfortable to us, putting ourselves out on a limb, maybe applying for that job or reaching out to that person on LinkedIn or on a dating app. And we hold back, even though our heart tells us to go for it, to write that email or to approach that person at the networking party or whatever it is.

Kimberly Snyder (13:57.806)
we start to notice when there’s part of us that isn’t gonna do it because we don’t have that assurance. Or we constantly go to the place where we do get reassurance, which is going to the same friends over and over again and asking them to make sure that we feel okay. Now, of course, we all need a social support system and there are healthy ways in which we can lean on our friends and lean on professional therapists.

But we want to notice where we can start to show up more for ourselves and start to expand our window of tolerance for that uncomfortability of not knowing little by little. So in my life, every time I would feel a feeling of like, this doesn’t feel good, or I’m a little bit scared of this, or what if this doesn’t work out? I feel this a lot, to be honest.

around this time when I’m about to put a book out and I start to think, my gosh, it’s so, I love the writing cave. I love the inwardness of writing the book. It’s very challenging. But what’s even more challenging for me is putting myself out there. So anytime a little thing would kick in, I would go straight to, you know, John, my best friend or John, my husband and sort of say, Hey, no, I’m feeling a bit scared or anxious or this doesn’t work. it doesn’t feel like it’s working right now.

And now what I’ve done, especially in the last year, is I’ve seen how I can show up for myself. I’ve become aware of those normal triggers. This doesn’t feel certain. I don’t know for certain this is going to work out. I don’t know for certain this person is going to have me on their podcast or they’re going to write a review for my book or whatever it is. And I allow myself to be my own anchor. Now for me, this is a lot of the work that I’ll be sharing with you speaking of the new book.

which is coming very soon called the Hidden Power of the Five Hearts, which is that we can sit in this coherence, which means connecting with our hearts deeply, the brain in our hearts and allowing that to calm our thoughts. So we can learn to start shifting into the heart. You can do that right now while we’re listening to this. Whether you’re driving or walking or doing the dishes, part of your attention can come into your heart. This is a safe anchor inside of you, no matter how uncertain life feels, no matter

Kimberly Snyder (16:22.926)
the fear that comes up in terms of what someone may say to you or how you may be rejected or a project may not work out or whatever it is, we can sit and allow ourselves to digest those uncomfortable sensations. So, so much of fear is this metabolizing aspect, allowing it to come up, facing it, breathing through it and allowing it to pass through.

So in my life, I started to use this very work around the heart and allow myself not to have to reach out so much to other people because I realized and I continue to realize more and more how much strength there is inside of us, how much resilience there is when we actually face whatever the uncomfortable sensations are because really what we’re talking about here is dealing with uncomfortable emotions and feelings, having an anchor we can hold on to, which is the heart.

and breathing through. This is true, true resilience. But first it requires that awareness, as I mentioned, of knowing that, hey, we like to know when things are certain. It feels really nice and neat to the ego, to the mind. But we need to know that it is good for us to be comfortable with the unknown. It is good for us and it helps us grow and helps us live our most fullest lives when we go beyond that. And also we start to be aware of when we are

getting triggered and so we start to learn to rely on ourselves more and more. So one of the things we can do is we start to build our own confidence in decision making and as I said, allowing ourselves to expand our window of tolerance for those uncomfortable feelings little bit by little bit. So we don’t want to go over and beyond what feels natural and good because otherwise we can re -traumatize ourselves or

Just push ourselves too much and our nervous systems can react even more. But we can start to see, like in my case, hey, I’m not going to pick up the phone, I’m not going to text right away and deal with this. And sometimes a few hours later, if I do want that support, I’ll go back out. But I would say in 80 % of the cases, I didn’t ever have to call. I could learn to deal with it myself. I could process it, sit with it, get calm, see any inspired action steps I needed to take.

Kimberly Snyder (18:44.174)
remind myself that, hey, it’s going to be okay. And no matter how this outcome is, I’ve, I’ve tried. I just really tried. I put my heart into this. I wrote my, I put my heart into this email and I sent it out and, I don’t know the outcome, but I’m okay with not knowing. So the more we do this, like a muscle, it starts to get a little bit easier each time we do it. And the same thing with decisions.

Maybe we start to rely on ourselves for smaller decisions, smaller decisions at work, smaller decisions in your personal life. Maybe we don’t know for sure that we aren’t going to have a date for that wedding coming up. But the smaller decision today is I don’t want to settle and go on another date with that guy. It really didn’t feel good to me. Right. So we start to practice this little.

by little, by little. For me, I use my heart a lot when I choose our podcast guests. And sometimes there’s this spaciousness where I don’t know if we’re gonna have enough shows to fill that month because my schedule gets crazy and there’s people that are writing in, but I just don’t wanna have those guests on. So I go with my heart and I trust it does work out because I’m using my own

heart to move through this uncertainty, to move through these really practical matters of life at work and at home. And then I just start to feel more comfortable around, again, just being really present with what is. There’s so much beauty in this aliveness. Now, you may feel a lot of fearfulness in the unknown like me, if you’ve had childhood trauma.

or a level of neglect or an unseen -ness, because I can say and recognize now as an adult, that it was that control and structure that made me feel really safe. But when it crosses over into wanting everything to be known and everything to play out, that’s when it starts to get really unhealthy. So we want to start to be aware and then we want to start to make smaller decisions that make us build up our confidence.

Kimberly Snyder (21:06.574)
And a 2001 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology backs this up and it showed how confidence in decision making is crucial for managing uncertainty. So practice decision making in small, uncontrolled ways to build confidence and reduce anxiety and uncertain outcomes. So just see in your life how you can start to make these smaller decisions, build that confidence muscle, and then keep going forward.

So another aspect of this is developing coping skills. So notice what happens in your body when you start to feel that uncomfortability around uncertainty. So it creates a type of tension in the nervous system, which has very physical outcomes. You may start to go into a stress response, which isn’t great for your digestion or your gut health. You may start to spin through a lot of different energy going into that sympathetic

fight or flight nervous system overdrive, which of course takes us out of rest and digest. So just notice the heart rate getting faster. Notice the thoughts starting to speed up. Notice that you may even just talking about this, I feel a jumpiness in my stomach because that feeling is so familiar. A tightening across the shoulders and the back. I often get a tightness in my belly. So as we start to become aware of, I don’t like this,

This isn’t a familiar pattern. All we want to do is start to slow things down and we start to signal to our body that we can cope. We are resilient. We don’t need to get reassurance for every tiny thing in the outside world. I can show up for myself. So the first thing we want to do is start to take deep breaths in and out, which is the signal to the nervous system that we’re okay. So we start to breathe in and out.

And then we want to start to pay attention to any areas of stress, any areas of tightness and tension in the body rather, and breathe into them.

Kimberly Snyder (23:15.79)
And then we start to develop other skills that help us to cope with that situation. For me, I’ll be sharing a lot around the heart align meditation and also the heart align harmonize method, which is a technique you can do in three to 10 seconds in the middle of your day to start to create more resilience and better decision -making based on a lot of research from the Heart Math Institute. You can also go for a quick walk or get out in the sunlight or change things up.

And meta -analysis in health psychology showed that regular physical activity is associated with effective stress management and can help individuals better cope with uncertainty. So any type of activity, getting active in that moment or in the morning or regularly will just help to create more easefulness in your body. It’s a great way to expel pent -up stress and tension.

But in that moment, just start to pay attention to what’s going on. And then a simple technique I’ll share with you now is just put your hand on your heart. There’s so many neural pathways in the hands and it can help to heighten connection with the area in your body that you are touching. So when you touch your heart, which has 40 ,000 neurons, it starts to wake up this deeper intelligence inside of you. And then you can remind yourself, you can even say to yourself, silently or out loud.

I’m safe, I’m safe in this moment. I’m safe in this moment. Or I’m okay right now, I’m okay. And just calm your breath. Give yourself the space, be compassionate with yourself. Give yourself some space to overcome this storm of uncertainty and unknownness or uncomfortability. And then realize on the other side, there’s this expansive feeling of freedom.

of calmness, of more solutions that will come to your forefront of your mind, intuition will rise up. There’s an amazing bounty of intelligence and wisdom inside of you once we come into this calm place of tranquility. Calmness and tranquility are some of the most important yoga qualities. Paramahansa Yogananda, who brought yoga to the West, spoke at length about the power of being calm. If we are not calm,

Kimberly Snyder (25:41.774)
then we cannot feel okay or resilient. We continue to get more agitated, more frustrated, we go into chaos, we come into incoherence, which means our brain waves and our heart are not aligned. So we start to feel more stressful thoughts, we start to feel more nervous, we start to feel even more agitated and it continues that cycle on and on. So what we want to do at this time as well,

Another part of coping is to limit information overload. So when things feel uncertain, another place that isn’t going to make us feel better in the outside world is the news and all of these sources of external information streaming in. I’m not saying to cut yourself off completely, but I’m saying in these moments where we may feel particularly vulnerable.

to the unknown and things that we can’t control, we want to stabilize ourselves to be more resilient because a lot of the information coming in can make us feel more unstable. It’s not the time to turn on probably CNN or the BBC or whatever news outlets are that we like to turn to to see even more things that we can’t control, right?

So a 2021 study in the Journal of Frontiers in Science found that excessive consumption of the news, particularly online, can increase feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. So it’s a gradual process. We need to understand when we feel strong and resilient and we want to venture out and see what’s going on in the world and of course know what’s going on. And there’s times to tune it out. And again, this is about self -composure. This is about

self -soothing. So when I am feeling uncertain about things, I’m not going on social media, I’m not going on the news, I’m just working through and respecting that I have to process something in that moment. This is a vital part of self -care and this is how it all starts to work together because when we are in these states of feeling weak, weaker in our mind and we’re feeling vulnerable,

Kimberly Snyder (28:01.998)
This means that our body is also feeling weaker and vulnerable. There isn’t the same amount of energy and circulation going through our digestive systems. Frustration and anxiety can very much lead to an imbalance in our hormones and our immunity may start to drop. Everything starts to get a little bit more frazzled inside of our organs. And this is why heart coherence is so powerful because from the heart,

all the systems start to sync up and then we create more efficiency throughout our entire bodies and through our entire systems. So this is really, really important for health, our physical health, our mental clarity, our emotional intelligence and wellbeing, and our ability to feel this resilience, which ultimately is a spiritual quality of self -reliance. So limit the amount of

external information that you’re getting in that moment. Now the next part of this that’s really important is to develop a routine. So this is something that I’ve talked about with Vaidya Jai quite a bit, which is really great for the mind. Arya Veda is, he’s my Arya Vedic teacher. If you haven’t listened to some of our shows, we did one a few weeks ago, which was really wonderful. And we have many in the past, which we can link to in the show notes. So Dhinacharya daily routine gives the mind a sense of stability.

This means we start to eat meals at a regular time and we start to exercise at regular times. We start to go to bed and wake up at regular times. So there’s a deeper sense of security in the bodily functions. Ideally, we’d start to have bowel movements at regular times. We would drink our glowing green smoothie at regular times. Everything starts to function in the clockwork way, not to the extent where we don’t vary for any seasonal differences. We may use seasonal foods, of course. We may eat lighter in the summers.

and heavier in the winters, but there is a security in our routine, which then allows us to open up to stepping out of patterns in other parts of our lives, such as where are we going to, you know, what are we going to do over the weekend if we haven’t yet made plans? Or what do I really want to do in my professional life? Or, you know,

Kimberly Snyder (30:24.782)
whatever it is that feels uncertain to you, you know, am I gonna be single in a year? And what would that feel like and how am I gonna feel versus I’m gonna show up today, I’m gonna be in my heart today, I’m gonna stay open, I’m gonna take inspired action, I’m gonna go to this event or go on this app if I feel like it and start to live life from this very alive place, which by the way is very magnetic and very attractive.

So the routines are there, but it allows us to feel more, we start to break the barriers of these patterns which limit us so much. Again, it’s neat and easy to put things in boxes, to play safe, but then we aren’t really resilient. We’re very fragile. And when we’re fragile and we stay small, then we start to feel more disillusioned with our lives. We start to feel more confused.

Playing small is an illusion because ultimately we don’t feel fulfilled, we don’t feel good, and we don’t enjoy our lives. And that is not why we are here. We are here to live in abundance, in our unique energy, and allow that to pour through us and to pour through our hearts and to sculpt an amazing life, whatever that looks like for you, a peaceful life.

a life where you embody love and kindness and health and vitality, whatever it is that your goals are. But we can’t get there if we don’t feel comfortable with the unknown because what is known to us is a tiny percentage of what is actually really truly available to us. So the routines are great because in a practical sense, it allows us to continue to open up more and more to what is and what is possible. Now it is

helpful to have social groups, social support, and professional support as well. I want to mention that because so much of this work is inward and ultimately it’s us that has to get us to the next level. But along that way, if you find inspiring groups or a therapist or a counselor that can help you to feel supported as you start to break out of the molds that we’ve all placed ourselves in.

Kimberly Snyder (32:38.35)
But I want to say that you want to make sure that you are choosing support systems that are allowing you to embody a growth mindset instead of reinforcing limiting patterns. Because there are types of therapies and friends, I know this from personal experience, that can sort of enable us to stay in patterns. So this is for your heart to into it.

What is really helping me to grow? What is just reinforcing what I believe to be true or what is actually helping me to move out of this and to challenge some of these reassurance seeking patterns and to be a mirror to me. And you can be a mirror for that person as well. I’m a mirror to my friend John as he is to me in many ways. And we have different types of limiting patterns that we help each other see. And so make sure

that you aren’t surrounding yourself by yes people. I’ve had clients that I noticed do surround themselves by yes people because it can help them feel really safe, but ultimately it stunts our growth. So this is a huge topic that we really need to look at. How comfortable are we with the unknown and how do we get more comfortable? So just to sum up some of what we talked about today.

We want to understand that uncertainty is potential. Uncertainty is expansive energy beyond the tiny, tiny fraction of what we know. And so to go beyond what we know is to go to greatness. It’s to go to aliveness. It’s to go to amazingness. So we really want to understand that uncertainty, not liking uncertainty is of the ego and embracing it is of the true self. That being said, we want to be aware of when the reinsurance

seeking behavior comes in or playing small and we want to challenge it. We want to become more and more aware of what it you know what certain situations are. We want to start to learn more about ourselves. We want to see ourselves more clearly and then we can start to build confidence and decisions by making smaller decisions and standing up for ourselves and coming into our hearts and being more of an anchor for ourselves to sit and more of those uncomfortable feelings more and more.

Kimberly Snyder (35:01.646)
And then we can start to develop coping skills that are really healthy, like awareness, self -soothing, meditation, deepening our breath, more physical activity, going for walks. We have lots and lots of other shows around these very topics, which we will link to in the show notes. And you can also just peruse our very wide library of shows to see how else we can support you here. Soon we’ll have the Heart Aligned Meditation Tracks on the website as well.

which are going to be amazing and very practical evidence -based ways to really support you in your coherence, your heart -brain alignment. You want to limit information overload, especially in times of vulnerability, so that you can give yourself a chance to strengthen and build that resilience muscle, which builds more and more over time so that we are, there are times when we can handle and we can cope more information and there’s times to just let it rest.

And then we want to seek professional help and social groups as much as it can help us. But we want to make sure that these professional groups and those that we are seeking counsel from are encouraging us to grow instead of just enabling us. Because ultimately it’s us that needs to break out of these boxes of known and unknown.

And then the last is to develop that routine, a daily routine, so we feel a sense of safety and security in our lifestyle. And then in other areas, in our professional lives, in our personal lives, in our relationships, in our goals, trying to manifest our dreams and making them a reality, really going for it, it does require us to step into the unknown so that we can have these parts of us that feel very supported and secure.

and we can control how and when we eat and when we exercise. And then it allows us to explore the freedom and the unknown parts of our lives, to step into that power more and more. That is what is required of us to be great. That is what is required of us to live extraordinary lives, is to go beyond the known.

Kimberly Snyder (37:13.39)
And to step into that, you definitely have that strength inside of you. You definitely can do this. There is a resilience inside of you that you can learn to develop more and more. I’ve done it as well. So I know if I can do it, you can do it. It’s this incredible life skill and it will serve you so well in your health, in your spiritual, emotional, mental lives and your relationships. And I’m here to support you as well.

So please check out some of these other amazing podcasts. Please get on our, we link to in the show notes. Please get on our newsletter if you haven’t yet already. And remember that you can continue to ask me questions on social media, speaking of positive social media on Instagram, on an at underscore Kimberly Snyder or on the tab on our website, mysaloonit .com to write into our show. I will be back here Monday as always for our next interview podcast.

Until then, sending you so much love, so much encouragement. Remember that you are unique, strong, and resilient. And I’m always here for you. Sending you much love and see you back here soon.