Practical Tools for How To Move Through Feeling Ungrounded and Anxious [Episode #741]
This week’s topic is: Practical Tools for How To Move Through Feeling Ungrounded and Anxious
I am very excited for our topic today, which is a practical one on moving through these periods where we may feel ungrounded and anxious about life in general. And we want to have actual tools and practices for moving through these very difficult dark periods, which can be as quick as half an hour or a couple minutes, or it could be a few days.
This is something I think we all go through. These periods of feeling ungrounded, feeling overwhelmed, where we don’t know what is real anymore and we don’t know what to believe in. It’s difficult to know where to go when there is so much darkness coming in.
It could also feel the familiarity of nervousness or anxiety, however, a much more expanded version of that. And today I want to provide some practical tips and tools on how to move through these periods.
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Namaste loves and welcome back to our Monday Solocast podcast. I am very excited for our topic today, which is a practical one on moving through these periods where we may feel ungrounded and anxious about life in general. And we wanna have actual tools and practices for moving through these very difficult dark periods, which can be as quick as half an hour or a couple minutes, or it could last days, few days. And this is something I think we all go through these, um, periods of feeling ungrounded, just sort of feel like overwhelm, where we don’t know what is real anymore, we don’t know what to believe in. It’s difficult to see where to walk, where to go when there is so much darkness coming in. And it could also feel the familiarity of nervousness or anxiety, but a much more expanded version of that. So I wanna give some really practical tips and tools today on how to move through these periods.
And we’re gonna be covering the four cornerstones because we always wanna take a holistic approach. So food, body, emotional wellbeing, and spiritual growth. I also wanna share with you personally that I’m bringing forward this conversation today because I just went through one of these periods that felt just very ungrounded and it for me lasted about 48 hours, and it was precipitated by my mom’s birthday, which is on November 29th. And every year it sort of hits me a little bit differently. She’s been, um, she passed from her body about five years ago now. So, um, it was precipitated by that. And then there was a really challenging situation here, um, on our team at Sal Luna, where a beloved team member named Dave, who is so full of love and heart passed away in the night from a heart attack. So it threw up a lot for me personally, just feeling what in our limited understanding can really feel like unfairness in life. And if we get caught up in our heads, we can really go down that rabbit hole of feeling despondent and frustrated. So the very tools that I’m gonna share with you today are the tools and practices that really helped me climb out of that darkness. And it’s not that we’re rushing to get past it because there’s a lot of growth and evolvement evolution that comes from feeling into some of these suppressed emotions, which when something happens in life, it’s like this little hole that we puncture
In the balloon a lot just starts to flow out. So there’s already a lot in there for a lot of us. And so it’s these life events that allow us to, um, start to feel what’s going on in there. So we’ll get into it in the show today, but there are ways to move through to remember that the light is always there. Things will always come back to the light no matter how dark it feels.
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Solocast: Practical Tools for How To Move Through Feeling Ungrounded and Anxious
All right, all that being said, let’s get into our show today, which is about practical tools for moving through these periods of feeling ungrounded, anxious, just nervous, not clear about life. So I’ll share a little bit more because I think when we share with each other, it really does create a different kind of support again than just speaking from theory. So when I went through this dark night period, I’ll call it, which was just a week and a half ago or so, I started to just feel really despondent. And I was saying to my husband, you know, I don’t know about all this stuff. I’ve, I have doubt right now. You know, and this was pre precipitated by the, the passing of my mom’s or the, the birthday of my mom who had passed, and also just this team member that out of nowhere, you know, life was snatched away.
And so I find it, you know, that I use this word ungrounded because we know when we feel grounded and we feel clear and we’re excited about things and we know the path forward when we’re ungrounded, we can feel like we don’t know which way is up and the path gets really murky. So that’s definitely a word I would use. I would say that things just felt really murky during that period, and it’s hard to feel joyful and peaceful when things are murky. So there is a way to move through to support ourselves. And we will get into the cornerstones here in just a moment. But first I wanna say that this murkiness, this ungroundedness is because we are in a moment or period where we’re really stuck in our heads and in our egos and in all the thoughts. And the reason we feel ungrounded is because there’s nothing solid to attach to there.
It’s impossible to feel grounded. It’s like we’re clinging to air when we’re free falling. If we’re doing a sky dive or something, there’s nothing there to really clinging to. So we can see how much suffering comes when we overthink, when we become over heady, when we become over analytical. Our true nature is this wholeness that is us, that is the true self, that is who you really are, the energy inside of you, your intuition, your heart, your soul and spiritual terms. Soul is a little piece of spirit individualized inside of you into this unique, energetic construction, right? It’s, we conceptualize it in all different ways, but there’s this expanded part of us that as we continue to open up our inner vision, which is past limited perceptions, you know, feelings of, oh, this doesn’t make sense to me, this is unfair. Beyond that is this expanded vision.
The third eye, the yogis have always taught that we can see more than just the two physical eyes, which is very limited here on this earth plane of what is dense enough for us to perceive through the rods and cones of our physical eyes. But beyond this, this inner vision allows us to stabilize ourselves into the true self, stabilize ourself into the words in the Bible, the peace that passeth all understanding, stabilize ourselves into what is real. So intuition allows us to keep unfolding what is real, what is really real, and we’ll find that what is really real is love, connection, kindness, acceptance, service, serving one another. This is really real. And this will pass the test of time in your life if you keep going back into your heart, into your intuition. So we start to feel ungrounded when we start to get caught up in our head, because we don’t under understand everything, especially with the, you know, the more rational parts of our brain. It’s important to understand how to function in the world. But for, for some of these bigger topics, you know, what is beyond when the body passes, what happens to my loved ones when they pass these bigger issues, topics in life,
We need to go into our heart, we need to go into our intuition. We need to take this expanded viewpoint, otherwise, it starts to feel very dark. We wanna keep bringing our light to it. So from a cornerstone perspective, I actually wanna start with the emotional wellbeing cornerstone. And I’m reading you some passages here from the Letting Go book, the Pathway of Surrender by Dr. David Hawkins. If you, if you’re a regular, listen, you’ve heard me reference this book before. This is a book that really helped me get transcend the grief. When I, when my mom immediately passed, I started reading it while she was in the hospital. And so this is from the grief chapter, but we’re talking about, so grief, ex expanded, just feeling, um, abandoned, overwhelmed, lonely, despondent, frustrated. And he writes, the psychological basis of all grief and mourning is attachment. Attachment and dependence occur because we feel incomplete within ourselves.
Therefore, we seek objects, people, relationships, places and concepts to fulfill our inner needs. Loss of the object or person is experienced as a loss of our own self and as an important part of our emotional economy. So he goes on and on to talk about understanding that strengthening these bonds of attachment keep us in this, um, in this way of being. So that if something shifts a relationships, you know, relationship shifts or something happens at work, or, um, we lose somebody, or a situation, you know, gets altered in what all the many different forms that can happen, we start to feel ungrounded. And again, as wonderful as human relationships are, we need to look at where we are. And, and all things in life. You could love your job, you could love your pet, you could love this organization, or the way that the stores are in your downtown area, million different things. But when things shift, and we feel completely, um, ungrounded, of course there’s, there’s a natural ungroundedness, especially with loved ones and very close relationships and long-term or, you know, things that we felt very close to work. But it is a sign that there was attachment there, there is attachment. So what we wanna do from an emotional wellbeing perspective is we wanna start to look underneath those attachments. We wanna look at what is, what is it that I’m getting from this situation?
So what Hawkins goes on to say is he, he talks about this real letting go process so we can start to see where we are trying to feed or get energy outside of ourselves. So what we wanna do from an emotional wellbeing standpoint is just to see, to be aware. Doesn’t mean we heal from everything overnight, but it means that we need to be aware of, oh, I’ve placed love outside of myself, and so I’ve put so much love. This is an example into my whole world is my child. So if my child is mean to me or acts out, it really throws me off. I can see there’s balancing here. I can see I need to take power back knowing the love is inside of me so I can stay connected to my child, but not overly attached. In this connection comes loving discipline and loving detachment.
So I know that they are free beings, and if they act out, it is part of their journey. And it does not reflect on me in any way. It doesn’t crush my heart in such a easy way day to day, right? So we just start to notice and we start to realize, here’s the truth. We are complete in and of ourselves. We have this ability to call on ourselves and to feel stability within ourselves and to feel love from inside. So the more we just become aware where there is a bit of attachment there, and we don’t have to pull it away right away, but just notice, okay, connection feels good, connection is stable, connection is sustainable, but attachment is unhealthy. And being overly attached to a situation or to something is not going to lead me to where I wanna go, which is ultimately freedom and joy and peace and bliss.
So emotionally, we wanna take a look. And the second part of emotional wellbeing is suppression. When something happens and we start to feel these really big emotions, instead of suppressing them down, we wanna create some space for ourselves to feel what is in there. So I realized in this period that I had suppressed a lot of fear and a lot of grief. So there was still grief around my mom. I think the grief, you know, goes on and on in different ways and different things come up. We have to process it as it comes. But there was fear, fear of losing again, in a, in a, in a, um, unpredictable way. And so when this happened with Dave, it brought up all this fear inside of me, and I had to really feel into that fear and realize, no, we don’t control everything in life.
And that can feel ungrounding unless we really face it and say, you know what? There’s hard things that will come and I’m gonna let myself, I’m gonna make room for these big feelings so that they don’t build up in me. I’m gonna feel that and I’m gonna let it pass through. Because when we do that, we allow our bodies to understand this deep resilience. We can feel that, oh, I actually can handle these big feelings. One of the things Hawkins also shares in this book is that it’s not necessarily the life events that we’re scared of, but the feelings that go with them. He does say in this passage, the suppressed energy of the un relinquished emotions reemerge through the body’s endocrine and nervous system as an energetic imbalance, which impairs the flow of life energy through the body’s acupuncture meridians.
So it’s, it’s doesn’t go somewhere where we try to ignore these feelings. It comes out as, as anxiety. It comes out through our body’s wisdom of just feeling stagnant or fatigue or achy or many different ways. So number one, we wanna make, we want to notice where we’re attached and shift through our own wisdom into connection instead. Number two, we want to make sure we’re not suppressing these big feelings. So when I was going through, again, this dark period, I really let myself feel, and it doesn’t last super long, it could be 10 minutes or a bit more or less, and then it starts to let up. There’s a little bit of relief. We can take a deep breath, maybe it comes back, then maybe it comes back later. But this is emotional digestion and it’s really important. And this is how we start to feel grounded again if we don’t deal with it again.
This ungroundedness starts to be a way of life, which we don’t want. We don’t an we don’t want anxiety and doubt to pervade our lives. So we need to face it as part of the shadow work that Carl Young talked about, just letting the shadows come up, the fear, the anger, the sadness that lead to feeling ungrounded, because these emotions are not who we are. So instead of trying to clinging, trying to go deeper into our thoughts, which can often be chaotic in these periods, we wanna just be aware, and then we go into them and we let them go more and more. So the next cornerstone I wanna talk about is food. When we’re moving through these periods and things feel ungrounded, this is a period that calls for eating warm and hot foods. There is something very centering about heat when we’re taking in hot elixirs, when we’re eating hot stews.
The heat is a tangible energy. So not only does Aveda say that, it also helps to boost Agni digest fire because cooked foods lightly cooked, not overly cooked, not heated a million times, but freshly cooked foods can really support our digestion. They’re easier to break down. We still wanna have some raw food like the GGS and so on. So we’re getting the vitamins and enzymes, which can be heat, which are heat sensitive, especially thick compounds like vitamin C. But cooked foods are literally comfort foods for a reason. That heat in your belly feels warming, it feels comforting, and it brings a sense of presence. When we’re moving away from feeling ungrounded, we want to feel the presence of the now moment. We wanna feel now because now we are safe. Now in this moment, we are secure. It’s the thoughts which are, oh, the regrets of the past and the pain, and then anxiety about feeling more of that in the future, or things continuing to unravel, and what are we gonna do and what if this, and we can’t really in our heads, and this can keep us up for hours and insomnia as we know, or this can keep us in that pattern of just feeling so much doubt and despondent, see that it’s really hard to move through the day.
So in this now moment, the heat of the food can help to bring us there. It can help to support us in that way. We also wanna bring more heaviness in right now through these periods. So not just lightness, juice and salads, but staples, hardier staples like rice and beans, which are heavily in rotation right now. In my family, we’ve been eating a lot of rice and beans and veggies as a simple meal in all different ways. And sometimes I’ll heat up a tortilla for bubby. He likes tacos, so I’ll put the rice and beans on the taco and the veggies, and he likes to roll it up. Sometimes kids like to hold things. Mosy does not like that right now. He’s more into his is too, he’s, he likes, you know, using his spoon, which he’s just used to use and, and in the bowl.
So anyways, the point is, these heartier foods can give us also that sense of more fullness in our belly. So we wanna create that all, all the ways we can support ourselves energetically. And this fullness in the moment is part of coming back in this moment. There is love in this moment. There is unlimited support from within in this moment. There is the light, which we start to feel coming back more and more as we breathe through. And so in this way, food can be very supportive to your practice of coming back. There’s a lot of recipes we have on our Solluna website, which I encourage you to per, uh, survey and pursue any that feel, um, that they’re calling to you right now. There’s dozens of recipes, so if you’re looking for a pick me up or, um, just something you don’t have to think too much about.
All our recipes are really simple and delicious, so I encourage you to check that out. So body-wise, when we are feeling ungrounded, there’s two things that I like to recommend that really help me. Number one, I literally stay close to the ground and I do child’s pose and I do shimo and una. So these are three yoga poses that really serve me, and they will serve you when you’re feeling ungrounded. Why? Because this is the head down, the forward folds, the relaxing of the prefrontal cortex and the more analytical parts of your brain just signaling to your body energetically. Rest be soothed, relax, there is a sanctuary. I mean, you can find it now with your breathing and relaxing your body. So sometimes we think that we have to go into a full yoga practice to get the benefits. We gotta go into the warmup and the standing poses, and then down into the, um, seated poses and the, and the back bends and the inversions and do a whole.
And, and with Shavasana, which is sort of, you know, whole yoga flow, and it’s not true. We can take parts of, we can take poses and integrate them into our day. So when I was going through my period and I, uh, this period of unrest and ungroundedness, you know, there was these non-sequential times, I’d just be playing with my kids. You know, life still goes on or, you know, I end a zoom call. I’m down here in my office right now where my podcast studio is, and I would just go into that child’s pose and give myself two minute break. So life is busy as we know there’s a fullness to life. But I encourage you to see, you know, six breaths, 10 breaths. A pohi. Mok is a forward bend, le uh, sitting on the ground with your, with your legs either straight or you can slightly bend your knees and hold onto the outside of your feet and just close your eyes, let your head fall forward.
And like I said, take six to 10 deep breaths. Una is when you bring the souls of your feet together, so it looks like a butterfly. And then you stretch forward and then eventually round down. And this is great if you’re working through fear as well, just this opening all around the hip area. The manpo chakra can help to release energy, and then we relax the head. And then child’s pose is sitting back on your, on your heels, letting your feet be flat, and then just stretching your head forward. And there is an energy to the poses. There’s an energy to mudras, which are the positioning of our hands. There’s an energy to positioning your body. And this is one of the reasons that yoga asanas are really powerful, because it is putting yourself in a position to allow a certain type of energy to flow through you.
So there’s the reason that the warrior poses are standing tall, the vera one and two and three, there’s an energy of strength and standing in truth when we stand up in those very, um, strong, almost masculine, linear poses. And there’s a soft, gentle, loving, supportive energy that comes in with these, um, forward folding poses that I just mentioned. So use the wisdom of yoga to help your body. So the first thing, like I said, is these poses close to the earth. And then the second thing that is very supportive is in any way you can get out into nature, the stability of nature. No matter what goes on, she goes through these intense trials of hurricanes and snow storms and windstorms and fires and all sorts of things. And then she is, she reemerges and there may be repairs and limbs to grow back and so on and so forth.
But there is this steadiness through the trials of the daily experience of life. And so, you know, we can question all we want, you know, why isn’t it, why is this hard and why does it have to be this way? And why does God make all these things on earth? But the truth is, it just is right. The peace that passeth all understanding is when we stop fighting and resisting all that is, and we say, well, there’s a reason. I just don’t understand it right now. But there is the perspective of seeing things as, as we, things are brought to us for our growth, for our soul’s journey. And so when we come from it, from that perspective, we can feel a deeper peace really expanding and growing. So I like to think that with my mom, I didn’t think that she would pass so suddenly and, you know, relatively young and it would play out like that. But then the peace comes when I see it as the perspective of, well, that’s part of her soul’s journey. And wherever she is, she’s continuing to grow. And her passing certainly fostered an incredible amount of growth in me. So we don’t wanna look at it from the perspective
Of resistance and anger, because that doesn’t help, and it just creates more of this ungroundedness. So nature really is supportive. And when I walk in nature, and I am grateful to do this hike every day around my house where there’s this dirt road part and it’s really quiet, and there’s this one tree that I always touch, and there’s this energy in this tree, and I call him my old friend, and there’s this calmness, I share this with you guys, it’s like part of my ritual. I go up and it’s, there’s little creek next to it, it’s making this noise. And then I pat the tree. And I, I, you know, when we get down to this level of just noticing life around us in nature, noticing this beingness, this real just isness in nature, it’s supportive to us because we’re trying to clinging to what is, you know, ephemeral and which is by nature ever changing life circumstances, situations at work, relationships.
So there’s this comfort I find in being in nature. And of course there’s all this research now around grounding and the negative ions that are released from the earth’s surface to support us. And this influx of positive ions that is released from devices and all sorts of, you know, entities and modern life, all these devices that we plug in and all the, you know, the internet and the radiation. And so there’s this real re stabilization in nature. So if you can get to the park or your backyard, uh, just a, a little, a little area, a garden or something in your neighborhood, if you live deep in an urban center, and I know this because I used to live right near Washington Square Park in New York City, and that park was a real sanctuary for me. And even if, you know, it wasn’t the hugest park in the world, it wasn’t like Central Park, there was areas with trees and there was areas where I could take a little blanket and, and be close to the earth and be in the grass.
This might mean for you right now, if you live in a place like Minnesota or Wisconsin, where we do get a lot of questions. We have a pretty, um, wonderful community, part of our community in the Midwest. Maybe it’s snowshoes, maybe it is, um, you know, just, just bundling up, going ice skating or feeling connected to the earth with a little herb box that you have in your window sill. There’s many ways to connect to nature, but nature is a stabilizing force. Very, you know, there’s this directness of nature that comes straight from spirit. We don’t get
That directness from man-made buildings. And you know, as wonderful as it is, all these man-made inventions so we can go straight to the power of spirit and universe in nature. So I encourage you to find all the ways in which you can seek that out. So our fourth and last cornerstone we’re talking about here today, but really the crux of everything we’re talking about is spiritual growth. And this is the deep understanding that our sanctuary, our only real sanctuary comes from inside of us. So sometimes we are taught, or we, we grow up and we think there’s this separation between us and spirit or the universe. It’s almost like it’s out there and that can feel ungrounding because then we can feel isolated and abandoned. But what the yogic tradition teaches us, which is an alignment with all traditions in this way we can, we can have a, you know, our own religion or no religion, but spirituality is about awareness and awakening.
So I am, I was raised Catholic, and when I found the teachings of yoga and particularly yoga nanda, what really drew me to them was, first of all, he was, you know, quoting Jesus and Krishna and showing this oneness, this underlying unity in all these world religions, but showing that the closeness of spirit right there inside of us, in our spines, in our brains. So, so much of these practices that are in yoga, and particularly in pranayama and prya hara, which is the withdrawal of our attention from the senses which are going out back in so back into where, back into our spine and our central nervous system. So the belief is that through the spine there’s this life force energy, this prana that comes down into the spine and then it goes out into our cells and every, all our limbs. But this is the central channel and this is why the chakras, our energy centers are aligned.
Our main chakras are aligned on the spine, on our, our central energy channel. And so there’s this, this peace of spirit inside of you, this life force, this energy line is inside of you. So God is not pie in the sky, far away spirit universe, again, whatever word you wanna use, but inside, always with you. Something that you can lean on, something that you can give your worries to as one of the OIC practices. As as ungroundedness anxiety rises up in you, you give it to God, you turn it over you, or you can imagine it immersed in
This white light, this white light that we always have access to. So I find it tremendously comforting, even when I’m feeling really ungrounded. And it’s hard for a time to go back to that. It does start to come back. I start to sit and my meditation or maybe a simple prayer. And if you go into your heart, that light will never be extinguished. So when we’re feeling despondent, we’re feeling like, oh, life sucks. Why does it have to be this way? <laugh>, we, we all get to that point sometimes where we just cry out in pain and frustration. Why does this person have to be taken from me? Why does it have to be so hard? Why can’t it just work out?
We, we lean in, we take the light if we can, if we feel at that moment or sometimes it’s not there or it’s always there, but we can’t feel it there in that moment. We keep breathing. So I had that really first dark day and I just kept feeling and feeling and by the next day, the light started to come back. And what it will feel like is a comfort, a love, a warmth coming from your heart. So it comes from the inside or that’s how it feels like to me anyway. It’s not gonna come just from the thoughts and the headiness. So, so much of that, our manmade constructs and we’re trying to fit back into this programming and we’re trying to, you know, just go about it a certain way, but deep inside of us, and this is the what yoga Nanda calls, the ultimate intuition is that we know we are more than the limited body or more than this limited life.
So there isn’t gonna be this scientific proof that’s showing that per se. Cuz remember all science comes from the limited minds in the first place. But what will be irrefutable to you is intuition. It’s the voice of your soul. It’s the voice of spirit speaking to you. So as you go into your heart and you start to come back to meditation, to prayer, to stillness, you go back in, you’ll start to feel that growing comfort, the peace that passeth all understanding alive in you. And then we start to realize, once we get through a really strong challenge, we realize that we really can get through anything. And even in moments where we feel that doubt, the light is never gone, we just have to rediscover it. So we take some baby steps, maybe there’s periods where we really do feel the dark so strong, but we are like plants.
So remember the seed is growing up towards the light, even though it cannot see the light, it’s deep in the earth. There’s darkness all around inside. There’s this deep knowingness, this instinct, this intuition that we will surpass the darkness, we will get to the light somehow, somewhere. Do we just keep going, we keep breathing, we do those forward bends, try to go out in nature, maybe go for a walk. We eat, we take a hot elixir, we breathe through, maybe we eat a bowl of hot soup. We do what we need to do and then eventually the light starts to come. So we take that light and we bring it into the doubt. We take that light, we give our anger and our sadness over to the light. We take that light, we start to feel a little bit more, we lean in, we breathe.
And then as we start to feel more, then we are able to, um, we’re able to do maybe a full meditation or a full prayer. So I will also leave you with more tools. Remember on our firstname.lastname@example.org, we have a whole library of free guided meditations for you. So you can definitely go in there and, um, see one that calls out to you. There’s one on grounding that I think you’ll enjoy very much, and they’re about seven minutes. So if you can just put aside seven minutes in your day and maybe do it in the evening or in the morning, anytime that you feel like you can sit and just be with yourself and allow yourself to have some space, I promise you, these dark nights will not last forever. I promise you. The light is always there and it will reemerge and you will start to feel the truth, which is that you are so much stronger than you know, and you do have the resiliency to get through anything.
And your true identity is light and love, and that’s who you really are. So I’m with you. I know these feelings, I know these periods. Please reach out to me in any way that I can continue to support you and continue to ask questions for our q and A show. And I am here, I am listening, this is my life’s work is to support you. So thank you so much for being here. Please pass this show on to anyone that you know that may be going through a hard time because we are here to support each other. I will be back here Thursday for our next q and a show. So till then, take great care, great, great care of your precious, precious self, beautiful soul. And I’ll see you back here soon. So lots of love, lots of light, Namaste.