The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose [Episode #804]

This week’s topic is: The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose

I love to talk about this topic because I think it’s one that we all wonder about. We wonder on a deeper level, Why am I here? What am I here for? How should I direct my life? And these are great questions to have because introspection can really help to bring forth alignment and direction and the creation of our purpose, which of course is defined in many different ways. And we can go about many different ways and strategies of discovering our purpose.

Today I’m going to be highlighting and offering you ways to discover your purpose through the perspective that I share in my latest book, You Are More Than You Think You Are, as well as the Inner Mastery, Outer Impact by Hitendra Wadhwa, who we recently had on our show. I think it’s really in alignment with our community as well before we get into our show today and think you’re going to really like the practical aspect of this, and I know a lot of us think about purpose. So this is going to offer you hopefully some new and interesting information around this idea.

Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question sent in by a Beauty just like you, listen now to find out!

Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/

[Question Answered]

Lilia –  Missouri

Kimberly, I am interested in my personal purpose, but I do not have a clue as to defining it. Can you help me out?

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: 00:01 Namaste loves and welcome back to our Thursday q and a show where our topic today is the The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose. And I love to talk about this topic because I think it’s one that we all wonder about. We wonder on a deeper level, you know, why am I here? What am I here for? How should I direct my life? And these are great questions to have because these questions and the introspection can really help to bring forth alignment and direction and the creation of our purpose, which of course is defined in many different ways. And we can go about many different ways and strategies of discovering our purpose. Today I’m going to be highlighting and offering you the, um, the ways in discovering your purpose through the perspective that I share in my latest book. You are more than You Think You are, as well as the five step, uh, way of arriving at your purpose by Dr.

01:17 Entra Wra, who we, um, recently had on our show. And he is a professor at Columbia. He practices yoga, Korea yoga meditation, which is the same type of yoga that I personally practice. And he’s worked with many different tech companies, and he has a very, um, clear way of laying out topics like purpose and almost a scientific engineering fashion. And I wanted to offer it up today because I think it’s really in alignment with our community as well before we get into our show today. So I think you’re gonna really like the practical aspect of this, and I know a lot of us think about purpose. So this is gonna offer you hopefully some new and interesting information around this idea.

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But before we dive in, a little reminder to please leave us a review wherever you listen to the show. Apple, Spotify, it’s nice to make requests sometimes to state our needs, our desires. And so I like to say this at the top of the show because it’s such an amazing way to support. So it could be a sentence, it could be very simple, but using your free will to support our feel good podcast is amazing. So thank you so much in advance for your review. Please also subscribe to our show and that way you stay in the flow of all these amazing topics we have for Thursdays and our Monday interviews. And also, please share the show with anyone that you think would

Kimberly: 02:58 Benefit from any particular episode, anything that we’re covering. This is an act of support of others sharing connectivity, which tends to come back to you tenfold. It also just comes from the pure wanting to care and share and support others from your heart, which activates the heart chakra. It’s all powerful energy of love and expansion. And finally, be sure to, uh, subscribe to our show. Oh, I already said that, so you stay in the flow. What else do I say here? Um, also remember that on our website now, I’ll, I’ll turn there. We have a lot of resources for you, so I encourage you to sign up for our newsletter if you aren’t yet on it. We email out new recipes that I’m always creating and happenings of the month, and it’s a wonderful way to get into our community. Also, if you’re looking for more personal connection, we have a live 30 minute community zoom that we hold on the second Wednesday of every month at 9:30 AM And by subscribing to any of our premium sauna products, you will automatically get invited into the Zoom through a email sign in the week prior.

04:22 So that’s something to keep in mind. It’s a great chance to ask me questions live, and we meditate together and we get to talk about relevant happenings for that month around our four cornerstones. So check it out, it’s all over there on our website, mysolluna.com.

Question around the topic of: The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose: Kimberly, I am interested in my personal purpose, but I do not have a clue as to defining it. Can you help me out?

Alright, so let’s get into our show today, which is a five step process for arriving or discovering your personal purpose, which of course is fluid, it can shift. But as you’ll see today in our, in our show, it’s, it’s broader than a goal. It’s broader than trying to, um, you know, have a certain job title or have a goal of being a mother, right? Purpose is broader than that. And as we define it here, first, let’s get into our question. Our question comes from Lilia from Missouri. Thank you so much, Lilia, for being with us today, energetically through highlighting this very important topic, which many of us ponder, many of us wonder about. And you write, Kimberly, I am interested in my personal purpose, but I do not have a clue as to defining it. Can you help me out? Yes, Lilia, I can help you out here. I can offer some of my own perspective around this. Thank you again, sending you a big

Kimberly: 05:56 Virtual out to the Midwest. I have spent a lot of time in Missouri, actually. It’s where my ex-partner lived, spent a lot of time around St. Louis. Very kind people, very community centered people that I interacted with there. So lots and lots of love. And again, thank you so much for being here with us. I appreciate it. So, so very much. So I started thinking about purpose as being different from the goals that we set when I started really getting into scripture and teachings and readings, which is one of my personal passions. And I started reading the Bava Gita, and it’s this beautiful allegory for life. It’s very, um, you know, visceral. It’s a, it’s a battle really. And there’s a, um, comic book that I bought for my older son, and it’s this Indian comic book around, you know, there’s arrows and there’s chariot tears, and there is, um, you know, these horses.

07:09 And basically Arjuna has the choice of the largest army in the world, or he can have the Council of Krishna, and he chooses the Council of Krishna. And it goes on and on. And it’s, it’s not violent, this comic book because they’re, you know, they start talking and there’s these little bubbles where they’re playing out different scenes of life and it’s metaphorical. So basically it relates to our battle in daily life. And Krishna represents the voice of the true self, the voice of the heart, the voice of our intuition, the deepest part of us coming through spirit, coming through versus being pulled by the senses and being, you know, led like a dog, so to speak by, you know, running this way or this way focused here and there, which really leads to a life of confusion and being confused about our purpose and how we’re supposed to live even down to what we’re supposed to eat. When we are aligned with our purpose, everything starts to line up to that across the four cornerstones, down to the way that we eat. So I’ll give you a little example here on the yogic path. One of the values when we talk about the, the limbs of yoga and ahimsa, yamas and the niyamas, the way that we conduct ourselves in the world, the way that we, you know,

Kimberly: 08:54 Hold ourselves the way that we interact with others. One of  the principles is a himsa, which is nonviolence. And so this translates, you know, if you, if you follow the yogic path, and of course it’s not all or nothing, but if you wanna take it more literally, it means that we don’t want to engage in killing or support violence. So we may choose a path of vegetarianism or veganism because it aligns with our values, so everything can align to it. Or let’s say you have a completely different perspective and you want, you know, part of your purpose is living values of being really energetic and you wanna, you know, be in top shape and, you know, teach others to live this sort of life. And for you, um, you know, fitness is, is really a, a core part of how you see your purpose and supporting others.

09:54 And maybe you choose to eat a high protein diet, and if, you know, ideally you would include vegetables as well, but that aligns to how that the way that you eat would align to your purpose as well. So there’s this through line in our lifestyle, and that starts to create a build up of energy and focus and alignment, and it starts to flow through so we don’t feel conflicted in different areas. So purpose starts to become this larger, uh, energy that runs through your life that provides clarity and can help with day-to-day decisions like, hmm, should I pursue this, you know, job or say yes to this client or engage in this practice or this daily ritual or not, or eat this food or drink this or not, right? So I want to just sur summarize how I speak about purpose in, um, the, you are more than you think you are.

10:59 Book a bit. And then go into, um, Dr. Hitendra Wadhwa five step process, which I think is precise and can offer some, some new perspectives here that I think will benefit you. So how I define purpose, um, and how I wrote about it in the chapter, you are a warrior, is really tapping into your unique energy and your unique gifts. And then combining that with how can this serve? How can I serve the world? How can I uplift the world? How can I offer it into the upliftment of all? So it’s a two part tapping in understanding your unique gifts and then tying that to service in a larger sense. So let’s break that down for a moment. We’re all unique. We all have a completely unique blueprint, if you will, and we see that in our unique genetic constitution. We all have a different look, bone structure, genetics, you know, that make up who we are, our facial features, our gait, or the way that we walk, the way that we are literally, we are all completely different.

12:21 And this is how we can, you know, look out into the world of nature and see the, that every single snowflake has a completely different structure. There are elements that are of a similar foundation, but the actual constitution of each snowflake is unique. And that is the same of a leaf of fruit. They all have different shapes and branches of a tree and rocks, <laugh>, right? It just, there’s this uniqueness that we see play out in nature, and it’s really beautiful when we honor that. And so that’s in the same way we wanna honor that in ourselves. And so, first of all, we don’t wanna get caught in the web, the very, uh, depleting practice of comparing ourselves and seeing that, you know, or thinking that we should be at a certain place in our life or our life needs to look like other peoples, because that doesn’t honor this uniqueness.

13:27 The fact that spirit made us all unique. So we are all unique creations. So this, you know, this, um, part of the deepest part of confidence is I am that I am confident in that we we’re created to be a unique being. So part of that is not comparing ourselves and really taking the time to connect to what is unique about you. What are the unique ways, qualities in which you go about doing things that you bring to the world. So it could be a unique way in, um, you know, bringing kindness and love in getting along with others, in finding creative play with your kids. There are all, we all have things that we can contribute. And so this is a really, um, introspective process. It’s something that we can contemplate, something we notice in, you know, ways that people compliment us or they bring things up to us. It’s natural, right? There isn’t anything forced about this. It is, these are natural gifts, natural things that come forth from us. So it doesn’t mean that we don’t have to work hard

Kimberly: 14:51 Developing them, or we can create, you know, practices to support it, but there are natural gifts and characteristics within all of us. And so then the second part of it is by shining that light out into the world, we can support the world. We can uplift the world, and that is part of our purpose. Paramahansa Yogananda, the great yoga guru, you know, and and his teachings are the ba you know, the basis of you are more than you think you are. His teachings have had a profound impact on my life personally. He says that life should chiefly be service. So when we tie our unique gifts into serving the world and serving others, we expand. So we are meant to be expansive and connected. When we aren’t, when we’re out for us, us us, that’s when we feel really stagnant and blocked both physically and emotionally.

15:54 That’s when we start to feel like our lives don’t matter. That’s when we are blocked from our purpose. Because it doesn’t feel good to be selfish. We can make all the money in the world. We could have the highest business success in the world or whatever, how we define success personally, but it’s not real success if we feel isolated and unhappy and alone. It really doesn’t work that way. And I believe that spirit designed us this way to keep seeking deeper meaning and connection in life. And so, through the lens of seeing our lives as being part of service is a really big part of, of expanding that. So if you’re interested more in that topic, you can read it. Um, that chapter in the book called You are a Warrior. And now I wanna turn to, um, living with Purpose, this chapter in Dr um, I wanna make sure I’m always saying it right, RA’s book, which is called Inner Mastery Outer Impact.

17:00 And he teaches the most popular MBA class at Columbia. He works this into his teachings, and what it’s based on is energy. So he talks about core energy in the book as we talk about in our, um, my interview with him. But today we’re gonna be talking about working with energy and determining your purpose.

Step #1. The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose: Stirring

So the first step is stir stirring, right? So sometimes we think about stirring, when we’re stirring our elixir or stirring a, um, you know, a dressing, a salad dressing or, you know, mixing things together. We’re stirring, we’re making a home facial mask or whatever it is.

Kimberly: 17:49 There’s an energy when in stirring, right? It’s not this just stagnation, but there’s a stirring. So the first stage in finding purpose is we listen internally, we tune in to a stirring. So this means that, hmm, there’s something brewing or I’m really drawn to this, this makes me feel something. When I hear someone talk about this subject or, you know, I tune into something, I feel this energy, this stirring, right? That’s what I feel when there’s a stirring of a new book. There’s an energy, there’s something that wants to come out of me. So you can start to be cud into your purpose. Maybe it’s around you. You feel so much, you care so much. Maybe that translates into, um, caring for others throughout your life. That means it could translate into a career in nursing or, um, you know, uh, being a nanny or a caretaker or something where that translates.

19:01 We don’t have to figure that out yet, but it’s really important to listen to the inner stirrings. So this relates to, as I was speaking of earlier, around tapping into your unique gifts and talents. It’s not always so linear, like, oh, I always got As, and, you know, algebra class, and I didn’t do so well in biology, right? You know, sometimes our grades and numbers and things like that can reflect, but when we tune into energy, we can get a lot of information. It’s this energy of the inner voice, right? When we start to tap into surrender and hmm, what is coming out inside of me versus where I think I should be. You know, my husband is a lawyer, he’s a non-practicing attorney, and he was only a lawyer for a year and a half. And he followed that path, he said, because, you know, his dad was a lawyer and it just seemed like the right thing to do, but it wasn’t in alignment with his inner passion.

20:08 He’s really creative. He’s really great at seeing strategy and coming up with solutions and connecting with people, not necessarily going through texts and law and, you know, things that are more set in stone. Um, so he’s veered off that path. But I bring this up because, you know, sometimes we go off track and it’s okay, we can recorrect, we can come back. So if you’re feeling like, oh my gosh, I’m at a, you know, in the wrong path right now, it’s okay, we are where we are. But then we start to come back to alignment by listening and feeling this inner stirring, this passion. What moves you? What moves you from the inside? Again, not from the mind linear, but what’s in your heart? So for me, I started feeling really moved by helping to bring information forth. So it started with my blog, and then it started to expand into books and being on shows and communicating on this podcast.

21:18 But there was this real stirring of, Hey, I get really excited when I have access to information that’s helped me. And then I like to put it out there, right? So my, you could say in my definition, my unique gift is making information available, helping to, um, make it understandable. And then part of my service is, is making it accessible, getting it out in the world so others can also benefit, right? But there was this stirring, this real excitement, Hey, I wanna write this blog, I wanna write this book. I wanna get this out there.

Step #2. The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose: Search

So stage two in Dr. RA’s process is search, which I like to think of as cur curiosity, right? So we start to, hmm, become curious what, um, how can this play out? Or how can I explore this passion more, this stirring more, you know, what is it around this?

22:17 So in, you know, in my case it was curiosity of, you know, what does this look like? What are the forms in which I can really share and get this out? And it just started to pour out of me. I would just show up at the yoga classes I was teaching in New York City and just start to share little tits and tidbits. And I was just sharing all around, and it was my neighbor Adam, who lived upstairs from me in my apartment building. I was just blabbing on and sharing. And he said to me, you should start a free blog. And those of you who know me personally, and you know, we’re connected here in the community, so you’ve also heard me share this. I’m not really a tech forward person at all. So the idea of starting a blog wasn’t something that, you know, came from me.

23:08 It was, it came from my natural sharing and I was, it was starting to come out. I was starting to, on a deeper level, search for my purpose perhaps, but I was starting to also share it. I was curious. So this searching, which comes from the stirring, can be done in many different ways. You can literally start to search for on Google, you can read books about it. You can just be really curious in your search, right? And your, in your curiosity and your sort of information gathering, which, you know, can come intuitively, it can come out in the world. It comes in many different ways.

Step #3. The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose: Define it

And then stage three in Dr. Hadden’s process is to define it. So this is where you start putting more form to it, if you will. And this can shift and change over time. For me, defining it was aligning, um, outer, uh, you know, steps to this, the core stirring the core energy.

24:28 So what I mean by that was, I would define it by saying, okay, I’m gonna share by starting a free blog, by writing this first book, the Beauty Detox Solution, by starting a newsletter, right? By, uh, starting a podcast. So it starts to come into form. So let’s say, but it comes from a core energy. So, so let’s say you’re stirring your inner passion is to really, you know, you love, um, working with kids, you feel really great about giving love to the young ones, and you that service is, you know, giving them love. And, you know, this goes out into the world. Those children grow up and they spread. And in terms of defining it, in terms of putting form to it, that could mean that you start to shift over to spending more time teaching or running programs for kids or starting a camp for kids, right?

25:24 It starts to flow into the, the definition, which is again, form, but the form is it proceeds the energy. So the way that we find our gifts is that stirring, right? It starts to stir inside of us, and then we start to get curious. We allow, um, this process of curiosity to see what aligns to us versus just doing what everybody else is doing or what, you know, someone you see on TikTok or Instagram is doing, you know, if you’re interested in being a yoga teacher, you see, oh, this person’s doing this amount of retreats or teaching this amount of classes, but no, no, no. Remember that this is unique to you. So by the time we get to this stage three of defining it, we’ve remained open up until this point. So it can look very different for you than anyone else. And then this is part of where the uniqueness comes into your purpose, where you have a unique way this stirring inside of you, this way that comes from your heart, comes from a deeper place, is different than anyone else’s. So how you, how that plays out for you, how you define it, is going to be different. It’s going to look different.

Kimberly: 26:43 And I can’t stress that enough as we define it back to how this aligns with my own philosophy. It should be, or ideally it would be in the context of service. Not just, oh, I’m volunteering at the soup kitchen. But how can this bring more light awareness, support for others in some way? So let’s say, you know, your stirring is, oh, you know, this creativity, I have a unique creativity inside of me. I love fashion, you know, and so I, you know, my, my purpose is to bring this creativity and to help elevate people’s daily lives. And how that creates form, how I define it is I’m going to start my own fashion line. I’m going to bring that beauty of color and design and my sewing, um, design, you know, whatever it is into people’s daily lives through their clothes and how they put together their outfits, right?

27:44 But it starts with this purpose, this larger purpose of bringing creativity and upliftment into people’s days. It’s part of our core values. We wanna support, we wanna love, we wanna encourage others. So that means it’s not so rigidly defined to, Hey, I started this fashion brand, let’s just call it leaf fashion. So if that, you know, doesn’t work out and I end up bringing my creativity to interior design or, you know, um, a different fashion brand or working for Banana Republic or whatever it is, <laugh>, it’s, it’s still is there, it’s fluid. The, the actual definition can shift, but the, the, the core energy of, you know, tapping into your uniqueness and flowing that out into service to others is still there, right? So there’s fluidity and flexibility into finding our purpose, which I think is really important because things shift and change over the different life, uh, cycles.

28:51 So let’s say that’s your purpose, and you’re in your thirties right now, by the time you’re in your seventies, maybe you’re not creating your fashion brand anymore if you’ve passed it on, but you can still bring that creativity and to, and upliftment into daily life through creative ways of playing with your grandkids, making games up with them, or creativity in, you know, um, sharing family meals and how you cook or, you know, teaching a class at a local center, right? So that, so that the, the purpose as it’s defined shifts, but your talents and they can, you know, shift as well, but it’s still flowing out of you from this deeper place, which is always gonna mean that you bring that into your life.

Step #4. The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose: Focus

Which brings us to our stage four, which is focus. This means that, um, for me and Dr. Heden, you know, defines us in different ways, but it’s coming through you in your daily life.

29:57 So let’s say that, you know, you’re, you, you really wanna bring this creativity, or you wanna bring this light out into the world, it doesn’t just start and stop with a nine to five workday. It means that you’re bringing that through your interactions. So this creativity, again, could come in playing with the bubbles in the sink while you’re putting on your makeup with your kids. It could mean there’s a playful way in which you, um, you know, creative way that you decide to hang out with your friends and you have a, um, you know, little circle. That’s what I do with my friends sometimes bringing objects from nature in and sharing about them, or, you know, whatever it is, there is this focus through you, right? So in my case, since, since I define a lot of my purpose as being a messenger and sharing ideas out into the world, it’s not just through, so Luna, it’s not just through my books, but you know, I, um, with our, um, you know, people around us with our gardener, when I see him, I like to share ideas or books with the moms that I see through, um, you know, the drop offs at school during the school year.

31:19 I like to share, um, ideas and information and just simply love and care and support for one another as moms. So it comes out, this focus isn’t like a rigid focus, like, oh, I have to just, you know, bang out this next product launch. But for me, I define it as this, um, focus throughout your life, throughout your daily interactions is how I really like to see it.

Step #5. The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose: Fuse it

And the more you do that, you step into stage five, which is how Dr. Hera, um, or how he defines Fuse. That means you start to become one with your purpose. It means it starts to become, you know, less of this external goal oriented idea, like a New Year’s resolution and more with this idea of I am an embodiment of it. I am it. So he writes, I love this quote, when you have fued totally with your purpose, your pole star begins to illuminate every moment of your life, whether small and big, onstage and backstage, professional and personal.

32:28 When you are at work or with friends doing your chores, tending to your children, taking a walk or traveling on holiday, you have reframed your role, redefined your tasks and reoriented your relationships to allow you to give active expression to your purpose. You will then have achieved what George Bernard Shaw calls the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. So you start to live it, you start to be it. So you are not your job, you are not a role. Even the beautiful roles that we love, like being a sister or being a mother, you are this energy, this, this, this, you know, passion, this stirring, this unique gift, um, this, you know, unique just mix of energy that isn’t so easily defined, but we can, you know, find some way of, you know, perceiving it and then it’s poured out into the world.

33:34 You share it, you live it, you exude it. So you find the core gifts, whether it’s sharing a love of life, being especially kind, finding a way to get along with others, finding acceptance, you know, finding, being innovative. And then that pours out into your interactions as I just, you know, mentioned in the quote, whether it’s how you’re cooking your dinner, or how you are showing up every day in your morning staff meeting, or how you, you know, you, you come into the yoga class or the Pilates class, what energy are you giving off? And if we always think that, you know, we always perceive it as this unique energy inside of you, and how can I serve? How can I help others through my life? Then you will be on purpose each and every day, right? How can I serve? These are the core questions.

Recap of The 5-Step Process of Discovering Your Personal Purpose

34:36 What are my unique talents, gifts, energies, ways that, you know, I show up and then how do I serve? How can I bring this forth in the world, right? So in Dr. RA’s process, it’s feel, tune into the inner stirrings, number one. Number two, search. Be curious. Hmm. How can this play out? Just, you know, you can journal about it, you can introspect number three, you start to define it, you start to put form into it, which can shift and change, but this is where you start to align it, even if you don’t change your job, but you see that your purpose is to help others create more harmony. That’s how you can serve. You can bring that into your job as a librarian or physician or, um, you know, barista or where whatever you are doing, you can bring that, you can define it into what you’re doing, or you can create a, a shift in your outer world or outer activity.

35:44 You know, it’s, it’s not hard or facet. It can shift. And number four, you start to focus that energy, you start to live it, it starts to pour through. You start to bring it in. You start to bring it into, for me, prayer and intention at the beginning of the day to stay on purpose. And the number five fuse, you become it. You start to embody it. And then that’s where you really step into the power of purpose because you’re supporting and, and just bringing light to everyone around you. You start to feel more deeply fulfilled with purpose, full of purpose each and every day. It brings a pep to your step. It brings a different energy as you move about the world, as you go through different activities, you, you have more energy because there’s more coming out of you. You are tapped into your true self and to your potential.

36:33 You are living your purpose. So again, there’s more information that, um, I have in my book, um, which we’ll link to in the show notes. And, and Dr. Hitendra wonderful book Inner Mastery, Outer Impact and more, which will link to in the show notes, I’ve done some other podcasts around this in a, in a slightly different way. In a different way. So you could check that out as well. And let me know what your feelings and thoughts about this. You can write to me on our website, there’s a podcast tab, which you’ll see comments as well as questions for upcoming shows. And I’d love to connect with you further. Um, I love the Zooms, as I mentioned at the top of our show. So please check those out. You are automatically invited in if you are a subscriber. You can also find me at social at underscore Kimberly Snyder. Otherwise, I’ll be back here Monday for our next interview podcast to till then sending you much love and much aloha.