This Week’s Episode:
In this conversation, Kimberly speaks with Schuyler Grant is the founder and co-director of Kula Yoga Project in NYC, the co-creator of Wanderlust, and co-owner/director of the Commune Topanga retreat center. They explore various themes related to personal growth, women’s health, and the importance of community. They discuss the beauty of Southern California, the power of clarity and directness in life, and the challenges of navigating transitions in one’s 50s, particularly regarding menopause. The conversation also touches on the impact of childhood experiences on identity, the significance of unconditional love, and the journey of self-acceptance. Additionally, they delve into the complexities of relationships and the balance between ambition and contentment and the importance of difficult conversations in relationships.
About Schuyler Grant
Schuyler Grant is the founder and co-director of Kula Yoga Project in NYC, the co-creator of Wanderlust, and co-owner/director of the Commune Topanga retreat center. Schuyler developed a unique and beloved style of alignment-based vinyasa called Kula Flow. The advanced teacher training she has led for over two decades has minted teachers and studio owners worldwide. She was also a creator of the 200- and 300-hour trainings for both Kula and Wanderlust. She is a regular contributor to the Commune platform, which hosts a dozen of her asana and breathwork courses. She is especially proud of Empowered Birth, a course she hosted and co-produced to support women’s journey through pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum.
Schuyler opened the first Kula just two blocks north of Ground Zero in 2002, in an effort to help bring some heart and community back to Lower Manhattan. She is exceedingly proud that Kula is still going strong in SoHo and Williamsburg, Brooklyn. She now resides in Los Angeles, with her beloved Jeff Krasno, their three daughters, and four chickens. She leads regular retreats and trainings and considers herself exceptionally lucky to still love vinyasa-style yoga—and the same man—after all these years.
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Guest Resources
Episode Chapters
00:00 Embracing the Beauty of Southern California
09:08 The Impact of COVID on Personal Transitions
15:25 Creating Community Spaces
22:01 The Complexity of Relationships
29:08 Finding Balance Between Ambition and Contentment
35:09 Navigating Health Challenges and Personal Growth
41:27 The Science of Health Protocols
52:44 The Future of Humanity and Collaboration
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KIMBERLY’S BOOKS
- Chilla Gorilla & Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart
- The Beauty Detox Solution
- Beauty Detox Foods
- Beauty Detox Power
- Radical Beauty
- Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life
- You Are More Than You Think You Are
OTHER PODCASTS YOU MAY ENJOY!
- Wellness Insights: How to Listen to Your Body for Nutritional Guidance [Episode 878]
- How the Power Foods Diet helps with Weight Loss with Dr. Neal Barnard EP. 877
- How Not to Age with New York Times best-selling author Dr. Michael Greger [Episode #873]
- How to eat to reduce anxiety with Harvard nutritional psychiatrist Dr. Uma Naidoo [Episode #867]
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Transcript:
Kimberly Snyder (02:44.814)
And it sounds disgusting, but it actually was incredible and the walls were actually sweaty. my gosh, that was good. Those were good times. But we live in really good times here. Even though LA feels very precarious in this moment, we’re so lucky to live in such a beautiful, beautiful place together. Such an incredible, fragile ecosystem that that has so much to offer. Here’s big love to Southern California, which is just a magical part of the planet. So one of the things that I want to share right away about you is there’s this ability to create and there’s also this clarity that I’ve always really appreciated about you and you could say it’s like a non BS.
But it’s really powerful because a lot of people, Skylar, and this is where I, know, it’s exuding out of you, but you’re this embodiment of not getting caught up in drama and not getting caught up in things, you know, getting goosebumps that don’t matter and that often sidetrack us, whether it’s the self-doubt or just getting distracted from what our goals are or sort of getting nitpicky with other friends, other women, other people. There’s this directness.
And can you share a little bit about that and when and if and when sort of distracting thoughts come in or you you sort of feel yourself getting pulled into something how you’re able because I feel like that’s why you’ve generated so much actual creation the studios these books these incredible community centers like Commute there’s this you know if you’re getting sidetracked and off your game you’re not able to create all that.
That’s so interesting, Kim, because I’ve actually been thinking a lot lately. I’m gonna, I’ll come back to that. I’m putting a pin in that. But I’m actually gonna leap forward and then I’ll circle back. But I would say that one of the things that I’ve really been wrestling with in my 50s, you’ll get there someday, young lady, is that
Kimberly Snyder (05:07.502)
I know this is true. I mean, I’ve spoken to Dr. Sarah Gottfried about this and other women who think a lot about this next chapter of life. What is the post-menopause moment? What does that…
enable you to do, what does it inhibit you from doing, what is the possibility, what are the self limitations and then the societal limitations, like all of it. Like it really is a turning of the wheel and I’m not someone who naturally…
thought about or engaged in like women’s cycles, you know? Like I’m not like a women’s circle girl. I’m just really not. I never really went in for, I just didn’t really, it wasn’t a big deal to me. Like I had babies, nursed babies, I did bowling babies. know. Identifying. Identifying with like being a woman and like embracing.
I don’t know, like I just wasn’t really that, wasn’t really my… But there’s almost, well you’re talking about the strength of just being yourself instead of any identity. Yeah, it felt really just like a confidence. Well I felt like personhood. So I guess what I’m saying is like really for the first time going, almost being on the other side of it, it wasn’t like I went through menopause. It like, oh my god, I’m like in para-menopause and I’m feeling all these womanly things and I’m gonna read about this. Like I never read a pregnancy book. I never learned about my period, learned about menopause. didn’t know anything about it. was like, my mom told me, yeah, it was no big deal. You know, if I stop having my period sometime, I was like, okay, someday I’ll stop having my period. And then like, I sweat a bunch. I was like, fuck, this sucks. I’m sweating. But I didn’t like, I didn’t like, I never thought about like…
Kimberly Snyder (06:56.28)
taking
But then when COVID hit, just like went off a cliff. Like my hormones just like, it went from being like, maybe I’ll be in menopause someday because my period was kind of irregular to it being like, okay, I’m just never having a period again. Like the stress was so high that I just shut my period off. I mean, I really was like, I was so, you know, we were all so like fucking ridiculously stressed, but the stress thing was like, okay, heart stop.
you you are no longer in that stage. You’re in a whole other thing. And it was very intense. mean, wasn’t clear in the moment, in the moment, we were all just going through that collectively and individually. But…
When I look back on it now, I’m like, yeah, there was a pandemic and then there was also just my own little small, you know, hormonal pandemic of like absolute utter transition. And now, I mean, I wish so much that I had had the resources that are on commune and are all around, you know, the wellness space that are, think,
Like it’s one of the really incredible movements that’s happened is this opening up about women’s health, which is just so absolutely stepped on and stuff down and gas lit for, you know, forever for centuries. Let’s be honest. It’s true. Millennia. Let’s actually really be honest. But that being said, I’m going to I am going to get back to your original question. I in that transition for me, I
Kimberly Snyder (09:08.942)
have been a little adrift in like, my God, my kids are older. All of my businesses shifted in the pandemic, like our studio closed. All of the train that I was on that was insanely busy, like running two businesses, raising three girls, the going, going, going, which made being quite singular and focused and no BS because I was so
good at being a doer. Yeah. Do you know what I’m saying? And I really enjoy doing like, I’m very good at putting in steady work without letting it overwhelm me. Suddenly, it’s not like there wasn’t lots to do, but it didn’t have the same kind of clarity of focus. And that was really, really challenging to suddenly be faced with, my God, not only am I in a new biological hormonal chapter, I’m actually in a new like,
logistical chapter of life. It’s really tricky. Do you think that drivenness to do so much came from, like where do you think it was that you loved being creative? For some of us, and I have hints of this myself, it was trying to prove worth being a perfectionist. No, and I guess that’s where I would say I was so lucky. mean, would now to backtrack. I mean, I was extremely, extremely loved.
as a child. And accepted for yourself. accepted. And like not to say that my parents weren’t all kinds of fucked up too, which they absolutely were, but their fucked upness was taken out on each other largely. so like the trauma, the big T and the little T trauma that was playing out in my childhood was felt, my experience of it was that there was like
a safety bubble around me as a child. And that there was chaos and there was like, you know, whatever, some low level violence and certainly lots and lots of fighting and power dynamics and money issues and all that kind of toxic stuff that many of us go through in our childhoods that was all very there. But there was always this feeling of real like safety for myself.
Kimberly Snyder (11:34.048)
and that both of my parents just loved me, had high expectations of me. But they’re, I mean, and you now that I think about parenting and as a parent, like how do we do this well? I really have come around to the, like the basic ideology that that is the key is high, like high and clear expectations with absolute unconditional love.
And I got that. So I grew up really in like my bones feeling like I was loved and I was okay. You’re one of the rare ones. I’m one of the rare ones. I- You see the difference. I see the difference all around me in people who like are not given that gift of unconditional acceptance and that they’re basically like a good person. I mean, I felt like I was like, yeah, I’m meant to be here. I’m wanted, I’m loved.
And I got to work hard and I’ve got to be a good person. I’ve got to prove myself. But it’s not like, it’s not approving. It’s like approving to reinforce a given, a positive instead of approving to fill a lack. Yes, to fill a hole. I you’re one of the rare women that, I remember the first time I encountered you, I was kind of stretching a little bit on the mat and I heard this booming voice come in.
I had never seen you in person. The Schuyler, right? The Wizard of Oz was coming in and his booming voice said, everybody get a block. I didn’t even remember this to this day. This was like 12, 13 years ago, or however long it was. Everybody get a block, you’re gonna want one. Just that. And you did. yeah, everybody did. But it’s rare too, and this is why, before we move on from this point, it’s just so beautiful to see this embodiment of a woman that isn’t trying to derive some sort of worth or validation from.
how she looks, how, you this comparative, I mean, it’s really rare, Skylar. And I’ve always noticed it about you. And it’s really, that’s why I think it’s really important that, and I love that you’re out doing all these things and creating it because it shows a different sort of North Star. Even if we didn’t receive that in our childhood, and I say, I didn’t exactly. Yeah, well, and I was gonna But we can reshape and we can reform. you my work’s so much about.
Kimberly Snyder (13:57.71)
the heart and the heart-brain giving us a different perspective from these really tricky thoughts, which can feel really pervasive. Well, and this is what I would say from that. And this is where I, at a certain point in my life, as I got older and I became self-aware enough to be like, oh my God, you were so lucky. Like, you know, my parents, my parents didn’t have a pot to piss with, but I grew up in a really funky situation. know, it was like very, you know, it was like a really…
sort of small little communal situation, like no, we had like a wood stove and like not much. And so there wasn’t like tons of privilege that way. I mean, I did have, you know, other, like I was lucky in other ways I was given an education through my grandparents who are otherwise like very unsupportive of my parents’ lifestyle educated us. But like we were given the like abundance in
the treasure of love and attention. And so as I did start to wreck, mean, when you’re a kid, that’s just, your life is a given. I see the way you mother and you’re like an amazing mother. Like you are so present and so fun. mean, like my mom was a player. My mom was on the ground and in the dirt with us, playing goat with me. I was like, anyway, TMI. But you are that, you’re like a
you’re like a get down and dirty mom. that is like, those are like anybody who’s listening who is a mom or is thinking of becoming a mother. That is like, that is the thing. It’s not like, and that doesn’t mean that you don’t go out and work and do that hard thing. I was also a working mom and I was dealing with the guilt of like not being there as much as I thought I should be. But I did know how when I was moming.
to be really present and like give myself, give my time, like my undivided attention when I was giving, you know, when I was giving attention, it was real attention. And so I have learned like that is really why I feel like I’ve been caught, like if I have a calling, it’s not so much to teach yoga, which I love to do. And I think of teaching yoga as like- and unique. Well, thank you. But that’s like the-
Kimberly Snyder (16:24.18)
icing on the cake. You know what I mean? That to me is so pleasurable and so even fun and rewarding. And I get, you know this, you never feel better than after you’ve taught class. It’s like you got the reiki. I would go in to teach and I would be eight months pregnant and I would feel so shitty. Or I’d be two months pregnant with the worst morning sickness. Barely able to scrape myself off the floor and all I wanted to do was call in and…
like find a sub and then I, you know, cause it was my business, I couldn’t do that. Like drag myself into class. And then after 90 minutes, you just feel amazing because that it’s an energy exchange. Well, and you’ve also been in service, right? Totally. you’ve given, but you’ve given in a way that like, you get it back right away. It’s not like giving in the abstract and you’re like, my God, I’m doing this amazing thing. And I’m going out and I’m like, you know, doing a whole bunch of like,
fire clearing or whatever. There’s a lot of ways we can be in service where you don’t get the actual co-regulation. I mean, this is what it is. It’s human to human co-regulation. When you’re teaching a class, you’re, we’re having a mammalian like exchange of pheromones and all the other good hormones that we get by being together. In the heart field of each other. The coherence. The coherence. Yeah. And that’s, I didn’t know anything about that, but I would leave and I would be like, my God, I am so lucky that I get to
step out of doing payroll and going to the Department of Buildings to deal with the building violation that we got in the mail or all the really unfun stuff of running a yoga studio. The teaching was the icing on the cake. But for some reason, I have always been called to create community spaces.
And I do think that, you you see your life, it’s always easy to see it in hindsight in 2020. And I do feel like having come from such a secure childhood, I really wanted, or somehow had a knowing that people need places that are consistent and secure. And they are like…
Kimberly Snyder (18:46.464)
It’s not as maybe not as good as having like two secure parents, but at least it’s a play. It’s a community place, a real community of people that you see over years, over decades. I mean, like the fact that Kula is still around after 25 years is like, gives me so much pride and pleasure. And like that we have people who come back with their children and there’s just this
amazing, amazing through line to it. And to be able to help facilitate that is like, is like a real, it’s a real honor. Like it really, really feels like, it feels like a calling. Yes. Well, it’s, it’s, it’s again, back to this uniqueness. And I wonder as I’m listening to you, again, not everybody has this, is born with that gift, that blessing, but you can start to learn and say, you know, I actually can love myself.
And I found that my journey is that as I’ve loved myself, you can be in community and accept others and there’s just less sort of turbulence, right? Or just sort of like people annoy you less because you’re like, everybody’s on their journey. Yes. I’m Kim, I would say honestly, for many people who didn’t necessarily have that kind of secure attachment as an infant and child, and then they have to go through
the hard work of learning, of a learning that original hurt. And then learning how to heal themselves and like to really, to really like heal that wound and then also learn how to go forward and be giving and productive and like forgiving of themselves and all the things that they’ll do wrong and all of that.
Those people I find, especially in the wellness space, are often better teachers of those methodologies because they’ve had to do the hard work on themselves. Do you know what I mean? It’s like in some times, the best teachers of beginners in yoga are people who haven’t been teaching forever because they’re closer. They remember like,
Kimberly Snyder (21:09.038)
Trichonauts is a really freaking hard pose and you need to like, here’s how you do it because I remember. And so the space for people who have really had to do the work themselves is so, it just has a potency that I will never have. Like I will never be, like I’m more of a rock. Like I am, I’m earth. I’m like a place. I’m not like, I’m nobody’s guru.
and never wanted to be a known spiritual teacher and don’t want to be. No, it’s a different calling. It’s a different calling. I have no, I mean, in some ways I feel very lucky because I have zero interest or pretension about wanting to be that. I mean, would sometimes back when I taught a lot in person, people would be really looking for a spiritual teacher or looking for a…
quote unquote guru and I was always like, that’s not me. No, that’s a clarity. Definitely not me. like to have smelly farts and definitely not your guru. I don’t know what to say, but that’s not my path. So, you know, and I think I feel very lucky because I think a lot of people who enter our space are trying to like figure out how, I mean, guru is a very loaded word, but like how they…
fit into the matrix of being, now you could call it like whatever, the influencer world, like I no interest. Like. Well, there’s a genuineness again back to, I’m just here. Nothing’s added on top, not trying to conform to some sort of identity or mental construct. It’s just this simple, like here it is and there’s a power in that. So what I wanted to ask you before I get off this was.
as I’ve healed, right? Because there’s a lot of triggers and wounds of not being seen. you know, just I had that feeling like in it sometimes in community, like, that person’s interrupting me. They don’t like me or they just saw these thoughts. Right. And as I started to heal and come into my heart, they’re drawn into these different modalities, I think, where we need to be healed. First, it was food because I had eating disorders and then I healed that. And then it was the heart. Then it just became really easy for me to be in community.
Kimberly Snyder (23:19.79)
So my question is, because you had this, you know, this rock as you started to create these communities with very different personalities, would you still notice sort of personality aspects or things about people that would annoy you and then you would let them go? Or do you feel like built into your constitution is a very deep sort of tolerance? And Jeff has this too, your husband, right? This sort of patience where, you know, because I’ve come to your dinners before and your groups and there’s very different…
people, right? Some people that some other people would label as like, you know, loud or maybe a little bit disingenuous or more offensive. You know, there’s all these labels people get and you guys just seem to be, especially, you you both, but as far as this conversation, relatively really interesting. you can have, mean, Jeff is very open about this part of himself, but you know, he is very much a, we’re opposite this way. And in that way that partners,
I’m so curious to know how you and John fit into this matrix, but you know, we are just absolutely opposite in this regard and he is absolutely a pleaser. I mean, he is a… He said that. He is just, he does have a… And it’s not that his parents went through a really, really difficult divorce and as he, you know, I’m not telling any story that he wouldn’t tell on himself, but he moved around the world and was relocated to a million different locations.
You’re really literally like 10, he lived in 10 different places by the time he was like seven years old. So he was in different languages, different countries. So he was always shape shifting. There was no like ground under his feet. And then his parents later had a very, very tumultuous divorce. So there was a lot of what I, I lived in this, my parents still live in the same house. They’re still married. pretty rock solid that way. And so it’s strange how, I mean, this is always,
my philosophy about people and relationships, both, the things that are our biggest weaknesses are often our superpower. And then conversely, our superpower is our greatest Achilles heel. In the same way that in our relationships, the thing that attracts us to someone is also the thing that repels us. You’re gonna say like wounds, matching wounds. But also, right, there’s this like,
Kimberly Snyder (25:46.734)
If you’re two the same, mean, it’s this opposites attract thing, but even more than that, it’s also like, I’m so, am very, I’m like, I find Jeff so mysterious because he is, like, he still find him mysterious because he’s such a, he’s such a shape-shifter and he’s so, I don’t know anyone who’s better at more things. Like, literally he is like so good at everything he applies. I mean, it’s.
frankly insanely annoying, also like incredibly impressive. But it’s part, that’s part of this proving himself, like everything he does. And I’m kind of like, yeah, well, I don’t know. I’m good with that. You know, and I, I’m like a hard diligent, I’m more like an ox. And I just kind of like, like, I, you know, I keep just tilling the toil. people? Do you like being around people all the time? like, like, yeah, I people around, I’m less like, I’m less…
Yeah, I’m more interested in creating the place than I am in always interfacing with all the people. Do you like also having alone time? Yeah, I charge. like like I like alone time or like time with just like one or two people. But no, I love I mean, I love the I love being in the I like I love having the party more than I like being the life of the party because you guys love like giving I don’t love giving the speech.
Jeff loves to give the speech. He’s really good at like, you know, being toast master. I’m always like, no, don’t need to like give the speech. It’s just amazing, Skylar, watching how, I mean, there’s this, I mean, it really is your superpower, this imperturbability around all these different personalities. I’ve always wondered that, it’s like, does that person annoy you? Right? And I saw it once when at one of the dinners, someone said something that…
you know, we could say, without saying it judgmentally, the kind of said something that was a bit egoic. And you kind of, you know, put her down in her place, but not unkindly, we were like, and da da da. And then just kind of was quiet, right? So you didn’t notice What was it? Do tell. I’m not saying, no, we won’t name any names, but what can she say? So it was just someone was talking about some project or some book and how well it did, but it was sort of this like.
Kimberly Snyder (28:09.292)
not from the heart, was just sort of like, look at me moment. And then you kind of like, just kind of like made a funny statement. So I knew that you noticed, but then it was just like, you said it and called out and then let it go. Whereas many people ruminate in the mind. And again, back to, think it’s just like, you stay so steady, whether you use that language or not, we would call this in the heart stage as the steady heart, right? You’re here, you’re showing up, you know what you wanna do, you’re going forward, there’s a self-awareness and you’re not into this.
which I admire so much because I can get into the thoughts in many of us. But the converse, the flip side of that is like a, there is a spark that a certain amount of insecurity, you could say, gives people to be creative and be productive because it drives them to prove themselves. as long as you’re, it’s like if you can use that kick in the
just enough to propel you forward to do things that are meaningful and additive and productive. And I see that very much in Jeff. mean, his like little bit of insecurity and people pleasing has like made him so incredibly productive. And I’m just not, I’m really not a very ambitious person. And that’s-
I mean, mean, know that’s funny because you created so much. I know, but those are like slow and steady. Do you know what I’m saying? Like I am being very, I mean, really honest here. it’s like people have asked me to write books a bunch of times. I’m like, world doesn’t need another book. I mean, and then at the same time I’m like, yeah, there’s a, writing a book is a great way to get ideas out there and then have conversations and to jumpstart the next thing. And I’m sort of like, yeah, I don’t really need, I don’t think I need to do that.
And I mean, it’s part of like what like this book that that Jeff just wrote. this is this is third book. But this is this is really his first like the other books that he wrote. He was more of an editor. like I I play stories. kind of played the I played the Jeff Krasno role in this book. Yes, because he he this is his book. Like this is these are the things that he has worked through himself in his own protocols for like healing his own health.
Kimberly Snyder (30:34.35)
And you can get into the real meat of this. But he went through, just to kind of like give the context for this book and then sort of where I fit into this book specifically and then into our larger conversation. He had like a radical health transformation. And I of course had like the willing or unwilling front row seat to that. you know, like health for me,
has been just a really kind of natural organic part of my life since I was a kid. Because I was- care. Self care, was like, I was gifted hippie parents who fed me a lot of dirt from a really early age. Like my microbiome was pretty solid. I never got sick. I never went to the, I mean the first Did your mom cook? Every day. Okay. Literally, like we would go to Taco Bell once every like two months. Cause that was like-
the big deal because it was so junky and delicious. But otherwise, no, I mean, we never went to, I mean, there wasn’t a lot of money and it was just like home cooked, most of it homegrown, home raised and butchered, slaughtered and butchered on our property. So it was a farm. It was like a little, like a very small little farm. And so I just was, you know, and then of course I rebelled and in my teens, I ate.
candy from 7-Eleven and then ate snack wells in college and did fuck myself up pretty good for a couple of years and got Candida and a bunch of stuff because I sort of went way off the bad deep end. Did you get into alcohol at any point? that’s still happening. When I went through extreme… Lots of it.
Yeah, drinking, partying, and it’s amazing how the liver does come back and the microbiome does come back. It does come back, especially if you were lucky enough to have a pretty good system going in. that’s what I found is like, I went through probably a really bad five years in my late teens and twenties, like most people, not just women, but especially women, I think. And, you know, like flirted with like restricted eating and like lots of carrots and
Kimberly Snyder (32:49.294)
like air popped popcorn. Were you always naturally thin though? I was very, yeah, was thin. I mean, I come from like pretty thin people. No, it’s funny, like, are you, vaguely speaking, there’s this strength in your character and your energy and there’s always been, even though you’re quite petite, a strength to your musculature. Yeah, I’m not like a skinny person. I was like frail. I’m very medium. I would say I’m like always been a small, hip, small-breasted, but very medium person. Like I have…
big ribs and big shoulder, you know what I’m saying? Like I’m not a thin person, but I’m a small person. Does that make any sense? Anyway, back And it’s interesting how it does match the, know, the constitutional framework of your psychology, solid. Yeah, I’m not Vata. I’m a little more- You’re like Pitta. Pitta Kafa. Yeah. I’m like pretty, I’m saying I’m Tridoshic. What do you mean? I don’t know shit about it, but I would say- I would say that too. And a lot of people are missing that.
that kaffa energy. I’ve got a little bit of it. Oh, a lot. I would say that groundedness. Thank you. I’ll take that. I’ve always like, I mean, I need more, I need more ojess. I do feel- pretty good. I do feel like I’ve got some, I’m really, I do feel pretty Wait, can I ask you a question? Yes. Do you judge yourself or others? Others. Do you judge yourself? Really? you have, getting back to this,
this community, everything you’ve created, there’s just such an influx at, know, at Kula, at Commune, there’s just a lot, and you’re so steady. Do you make little judgments and then you let them go? Because again, back to that strength. Or do you kind of, do you kind of I make judgments. I make judgments about people. I mean, I’m but like you’re human in that way. God, are you kidding It’s one of the ways in which we waste a lot of energy, I think, is because we go down and we kind of think about, how could that person do this and this? And instead of our own path, and yet it’s, we know this.
We get so many questions into the podcast about judgment, self judgment, comparison. We know it, but it’s the work to keep reining it in, reining it in. Well, when you make a judgment about someone else, come on, we all know, like really, it’s like a reflection. Like, what are you telling yourself? What are you judging? You what are you saying about yourself by having this shitty or bitchy or We’re not doing enough. Yeah. But anyway, back to…
Kimberly Snyder (35:09.982)
Back to this book. This is a really far-raising conversation. No surprise, no surprise. But Jeff went on this health journey. Yes. Really starting five years ago and it happened, it’s actually funny, I’ve never really put this together. His, like, evolution and really coming into his own health started
in exactly the same moment when I went into menopause. Wow. And like, didn’t like, didn’t hit a, I wouldn’t say like I hit like ill health, but I hit a whole different cycle of like reckoning with my own biology for the first time, like being like, my God, like I have a hormones and I’ve got to figure this out. And like, whatever. But his was really triggered by
by COVID and we didn’t even know it was COVID then because he got very, very sick in, he got sick twice, first in February of 2020, which we didn’t even know it was COVID, but got very, very sick. And then got really sick again in March of 2020 and then was so sick for like two months. And that was before there was like a word for long COVID, but it was, you know, he couldn’t even walk down the road for a couple of months. Wow.
Yeah, I didn’t know that at the time because I… Yeah, well, we all were in our own crazy little bubbles. But out of that and congruent to him having Commune as a platform for talking to doctors, he started really experimenting on himself in this very organic way. It would be like, oh, you know, someone gave me this, I’m going to try it. Oh, I got a continuous glucose monitor from Levels.
I’m gonna put it, my God, holy shit, I’m pre-diabetic. What? Wait, I’m like a healthy person. Like we eat organic food and basically eat well. How am I pre-diabetic? What does it mean? What is mitochondrial health? You know, what, my God, what is this? How is it that 85 % of Americans have, you know, mitochondrial dysfunction and, know, have, you know, these diseases related? How is cardiovascular disease related to…
Kimberly Snyder (37:29.166)
all of these baseline. So he just went on his own journey and then started really experimenting on himself using a lot of, know, with an aura ring, with, you know, all of these gadgets that… Cold plunges. Cold plunges. You guys had so much available to you because of the experts, because of Tommy. Right. He was lucky enough to have like basically a range of…
there certainly weren’t like people who were working on him one-on-one, but he had the willpower to work on himself as an N of one experiment with all of these incredible inspirations kind of like giving him a slow drip of info. And then he just got really into it. And I, it was…
I’ll tell you. Did you go along the ride? No, not at all. Like I was literally like balancing the universe like the better he ate the worse I ate the less he drank the more. no, I totally didn’t. We all did that cold plunge with Wim Hof that day. Yeah, yeah. I mean there were some little trickles where he’d come in of course. No, together. I do, here’s the thing like I was I’ve grown like my parents always had a sauna. Yeah. In every yoga studio I’ve had I put a sauna in.
I was like, I’ve come from a Finnish family. My grandparents had a massive, like they had a barrel, a cold barrel that was an old repurposed water tank and a huge sauna that like 15 of us would go in and we would contrast bathe. know, like once a week I’d go to my grandparents’ house and we’d all be in the sauna going back and forth between the huge water tank that was probably, you know, 50 degrees. So I was.
You know, was kinda, but I wasn’t doing it in like a methodological way. I had no idea it was upregulating my metabolism. You know, it was just like part of life. It just felt good. It felt really good. I knew that we did that and I felt really good. And so I would put a sauna into every place we’ve ever owned, has a sauna. And then after you sauna, what do you wanna do? You wanna get in a cold shower. So a lot of these protocols, I mean like,
Kimberly Snyder (39:42.05)
healthy eating. There’s a naturalness to it. what you guys are doing in the book is bringing it to the forefront because just like so many things in modern you have to learn about it. Well, it gets lost. It gets lost, right. And so Jeff did the hard work of studying the why behind the thing. I was making sauerkraut and forcing it down my family’s throat for 20 years.
And because I was like, sauerkraut, it’s really good for you. It’s really good for your gut. And he was always like, ew, tastes gross. And then he learned, he had to learn People learn in different ways. Yeah. People learn in different ways. And he had to be a geeky citizen scientist in order to believe it in his head before he would really adopt the protocol.
I was like, you know, and it’s so annoying and I don’t even like to say it because I feel like it’s such an annoying gender binary thing where I was like, yeah, it makes sense to me. Totally seems logical. I’m going to do it. And then that would have a positive feedback loop and I generally do it. would move every day. would eat something good for my gut. I was always, you know, eating whatever, you know what I’m saying? But
He didn’t necessarily, he wasn’t gonna follow me down that path. That’s just like how John is. He had to like do the geeky. He likes the hard science. He had to do the hard science and then learn about, and then do it. And then he then would get the positive feedback loop. And he also knew in his little man brain what the exchange of photons were. I can’t even tell you the mitochondrial health. So.
That was his, and I watched from the sidelines as he didn’t, it’s not like, like he would lose weight sometimes. I mean, he was always 10 towards carrying extra weight. That’s just his phenotype. And I just would watch him struggle and I would be like, well, I can kind of eat the same amount of calories as you and I stay the same size and your weight will fluctuate and mine won’t. And it was just like, meh, it’s too bad for you. You’re half Jewish. Well, you know, bad luck with those fat genes.
Kimberly Snyder (41:57.038)
And it was kind of a part of our family. That was the quote unquote reality. That was the predetermined biological reality behind ourselves. And then I watched him actually unravel that. mean, he literally did rewire his…
the genetics, he rewired the manifestation of his genetics. he, you know, he’s really healthy now, but he eats like he can cheat or whatever and it doesn’t kick him in the ass. His, his like body shape changed. It that he lost weight. really, was like the shape of his body completely changed. Like he used to have like kind of big thighs and ass for a guy.
You know, mean like- He’s very slim now. And he’s now, he’s like, has a whole different body shape. actually was crazy. It was crazy to watch. Well, yeah, I remember when I first met him, it was very different. And this was, you know, like a decade ago or something, or at some point. But what I like about his protocols is that-
the span, what we call here the four cornerstones, right? There’s this, you know, the emotional, the inner part as well. And one of the protocols has to do with having challenging or difficult conversations instead of storing things up, right? And I know that at Kami and you guys hosted a summit for the Palestinians and Israelis to have a dialogue. Yeah, are are some.
stressful conversations. Can you talk about that’s not so obvious to people. People can kind of get okay a cold plunge stresses my body and then there’s all this you know science about detoxes and it brings the circulation up. But what about challenging conversations which most people would want to circumvent? Yeah well I mean the stressful conversations that you’re not having are all living in us. They’re bottled up. Come on we have so many of them. I mean and that’s not not to say that you know we
Kimberly Snyder (44:05.582)
It’s not like me and Jeff don’t have any issues that we’re not talking about, but you know, in intimate partnership, the things that you’re not talking about are like rotting you from the inside out. like, corrosive to the relationship. comfortable having them. Yeah, they don’t have the tools. So they just say, oh, I’m just not. I’m not going to do it. Yeah, it’s because it’s stressful to move over the, to leap over the gap. Yeah. And that’s where, I mean, a lot of Jeff
what Jeff talks about in the book in the stressful conversations section is having tools to do that. And so much of it is listening and like setting up the platform for someone else to be able to speak. The stressful conversation doesn’t really come about because you dump on people. It’s like that nonviolent. Yeah, there’s nonviolent communication which are, you know, there’s
all kinds of techniques based around it. But he, like in the Israeli-Palestinian conference, one of the real pillars for that, and when you have a conversation with Jeff later, you can get into it in more depth, but the real pillar for it is hearing each other’s stories and really hearing where people are coming from. Deep empathy. being able to…
tell that story back. Wow. So that even if you completely disagree and your story is in like, especially from something that is so obviously discordant, like Israel, Palestine, like if you can tell someone’s story, even if you don’t end up at the same political end game, at least you have, you
You can see them as a person. You see them as a person, not as a problem. You know what I mean? Like you’ve gotten on, you’ve got to humanize it. mean, basically, and that seems so simple, but it’s actually very difficult to do. Well, it’s like everyday lives. Not everyone’s going to have these huge political conversations, but the strength of this bringing it up to everyday lives.
Kimberly Snyder (46:26.054)
When I was reading that section, I was thinking about my husband, John and I, and at first, there’s these things you notice, and then you kinda like don’t talk about it, but then there was this repeated pattern where I would just be like, hey, something simple, like, just please pick up your dirty socks, or like whatever. And it was always like, you’re always criticizing me. Why are you criticizing me? And I’m like, I’m not. And so we did have this talk one night in bed, and I started to see…
And it was like there, but I didn’t see it, how much he was sort of perceived or real criticized as a child. And it was very alive and it was triggering to him. so, know, it was just sort of me framing, but also being me being sensitive to how I word things, right? But if we didn’t have that conversation, it was like, I was hurting him, I didn’t want to hurt him. Right. And you were just, well, you can just be in a loop on the surface of things. Otherwise, we bring it to the surface. Yeah. And if you can…
Like as soon as you get through that, kind of, it’s weird. I mean, it’s so strange how even if you have a pretty solid relationship or a really fucking amazing relationship, there’s still so many things that are difficult to breach. You know? mean, like from, I like it when you do this to me, like in bed or at the dinner table.
or like, I hate it when we’re out and you do that and is that a me thing or you know what I mean? Like, relationships are hard. Let’s just be honest. Relationships are really, really hard. But I love that he brought this in. Yeah, and that like, if we, and I think that what we often aren’t, if we’re on a path to healing ourselves or being healthier.
It’s so much easier to work on. I’m going to go to cryotherapy three times a week, or I’m going to stop eating sugar. I’m going to do dry January. I’m going to make sure I move every day. I’m going to like get a whoop and look at my, you know, count, look at my HRV and try and figure out ways to improve whatever, like whatever, whatever the, the, the working on yourself. I’m going go to therapy or I’m going to do, you know, I’m going to do Kim’s, you know, heart meditations. And I’m going to like feel that like all of those things are so important, but
Kimberly Snyder (48:50.304)
If our core relationships are like suboptimal, none of those, all of that is external to- That’s inflammation right there. That inflammation right there. Yeah. And then there’s of course how you then bring that out into the world and how you act on social media. like, mean, like I’m not on social, I really don’t engage on social media because I find it so- yeah.
draining and literally so so and so depressing and if I and I find like right after the election I made some really Intemperate comments on social media for the first time ever like I’m just not a commenter on social media I like said a few things trigger fingery that like in it that I really regretted because it was just so like out of pocket not appropriate and unkind and like But it felt like so good
in the moment in that like hijacked amygdala kind of way, fuck you. You know what I mean? in a little, I’m gonna like, you know, I’m gonna, you know, like, yeah, super aggro. And I mean, and even though was like, like I was like, okay, back off social media again, like, you know, I’ll just post, you know, the things that I, and that doesn’t mean that I’m not gonna engage and say my piece and like support the causes that I want to support. It doesn’t mean like disengage, but it definitely means.
not poking my nose in because I’m, that’s just, I’m not, that’s not the way that I’m interested in. Is that where you want to put your energy? It’s not where I want to put Exactly. It’s absolutely not where I want to put my energy, but it was, I’m, even though I’m really regretted the discreet moment, it was really good to experience like, Oh wow. Like that’s really, that’s really like, feels really exciting. It or not exciting, but it’s like, I could see why people do it. I’m, also like,
why it’s such a bad idea and why this whole world needs to be absolutely reframed and undone and redone in a different way owned by humans, not by corporations. Anyway, that’s a whole other conversation. But that is obviously one way that people are showing up in society. I like for, know, Jeff is really good at this. I mean, he really spends time being thoughtful.
Kimberly Snyder (51:17.312)
online and answering people’s genuine questions and people’s really shitty posts and meets them with thoughtfulness and compassion. And, you know, he’s had tons of conversations with people who stridently vocally disagree with him. if he basically, you, if you talk to anybody, whether it’s face to face or thoughtfully through a text thread,
Generally, people’s humanity is gonna reveal itself and whatever supercharged disagreement you have is almost always gonna dissolve under individual to individual interfacing. Like we are not built, we are not designed to be haters. We’re really not, we are co-regulators. We are a social species that feels much better.
collaborating and communing. mean, that’s how we evolved. We evolved to collaborate. is the truth of it. It’s the deep truth of it. And no matter how we are leveraged to not behave that way, the underlying truth is that we are meant to be a collaborating and loving species. Like we are meant to take care of each other.
And we will find our way back to that. And it might not be quick or easy and I hope it’s sooner than later. But I really, and I’m not a super optimistic person, honestly, by nature, but I do believe that. Like whatever the future of humanity looks like, it is going to end up there. Whatever the process is.
I believe that anyway. Well, what a powerful, powerful way to bring this full circle. And it was honestly, could chat forever. you asked like how like my part of like this book was really just like helping to birth it. Yeah. I’m the doula. You wrote the forward as well. I edited a lot of it and I had no interest. I had literally no interest in being a co-author and
Kimberly Snyder (53:44.63)
you know, at the end of it, Jeff was like, you you should be a co-author. That’s because I was like, no, I just like, I was just there and I edited a lot of it, but that’s very different. And he was like, no, like, you know, you really are a part of writing this book. And I was like, nah. And then I was like, okay, you know what? You’re right. like, you know how like your parents, your like co-parent with men and generally men are like the co-parent, but really they’re like the editor.
That’s really shitty to say, but you know what I mean? I did like 80 % of it and he’s the co-parent. He’ll hate that I said that, but that’s really, you know what I mean? For most moms, you’re just mostly doing the shit. 100%. And then the dad mostly gets to come in and kind of be like, fun dad. But he gets half the credit and our kids are like, he’s he the half the, and I’m like, that’s cool.
And so I get, I feel like I’m gonna have my name on that book because actually, yeah. Your energy’s in it as well. He carried the baby. He grew this for nine months and probably a little bit longer, but I was the midwife. I love it. I was there to pull it out of his body. Well, congratulations to you too on this wonderful book. Yeah, I’m really, really proud. That came together.
Well, it’s science and what I like about it as well is the stories and Yes, there’s lots of story. just beautiful writing, which sometimes a lot of books can be, health books can be bit dry. Yeah. But this is one that you can read and you can enjoy and you can pass it along. Yeah, it’s not dry. It’s actually just very funny, which is one of the reasons I still love him after like 35 years. He’s a funny guy. I love it. Yeah, he’s a good egg.
Anyway, get Get one of these. Exactly. This is available for pre-order now. And the book title again is Good Stress, The Health Benefits of Doing Hard Things, 10 Protocols to Extend Your Lifespan and Your Health Span. So, we say wherever books are sold, but where can we get more information? We’ll get this in our show notes, the direct. Yeah, well, I would mostly just send people right away to if you want to experience all these protocols.
Kimberly Snyder (55:57.246)
in person, go to Commune’s one, one commu, this is my Vanna White moment, go to onecommu.com. But it’s honestly, if you’ve never been on that platform, it’s an incredible holistic health platform. It’s so inexpensive. I think it’s like $29 a month or something. And everyone who has impacted Jeff’s journey and so many more are on there with courses, everything from
Fasting to… Empowered Exercise methodology. Empowered birth. The kid is in with me. And my Beauty Inside Out course. And your Beauty Inside Out course, which is amazing. It’s like, it’s a beautiful course. I finally listened to the whole thing. you? I did, because I did a little promotional piece on it. then it was one of those things where, you know, you have a platform and you’re like, don’t actually listen to, listen through to everything. And then I finally listened through…
to around five of these courses. And I’m like, this platform is amazing. But you know, there’s like Mindy Pals on like Fasting for Women. There’s Casey Means, really like everyone, Jillian Michaels, all these people who are gonna be at Luminescence with us this weekend. And it really is like the resources there. I just listened to Dr. Sarah Zoll Gottfried’s course, her hormones course.
I’ve now sent it to probably 20 women I know who are in their 30s and 40s. Wow. Because I’m like, why didn’t I have this information? How was I so informed about so much in the health space and I knew nothing about my hormonal health? knew nothing about all the things I could be doing proactively pre-paramanopause through paramanopause. I mean, I was just a
total dunderhead. And anyway, it’s an amazing course. Anyway, the platform really is incredible. And Jeff has a course on there called Good Stress. perfect. That has all of these methodologies and just super actionable. It’s like all the great part is it’s all really actionable information. it’s like information with protocol. Like not just what to do, but how to do it. Amazing. Yeah. Well, thank you.
Kimberly Snyder (58:24.686)
for coming back again. I love you. I love you so much. everything you do. Oh, there’s such a light in this world. Thank you. Thank you so much. And it’s always amazing to collaborate, whether it’s a podcast, a course, luminescence. Dinner. Dinners. So thank you for being this. Just a unique embodiment of a really powerful woman. Thank you, Kim. It’s really a pleasure to be on the path together.
So everyone, thank you so much for tuning in and the show notes. All the links that Skylar talked about will be available on our site, mysaloonit.com. We’ll be back here Thursday as always for our next Q &A show. Till then take great care and sending you so much love.
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