Setting Healthy Boundaries [Episode #502]

This week’s topic is: Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is a big thing with the way that you work with your colleagues and the way that you have relationships with family members and relatives. There’s a lot of ways that boundaries apply.

I will say for myself, setting healthy boundaries hasn’t been an easy thing. Sometimes it seems simple to just say what you mean, however, I think for me and a lot of people, confrontation can be really hard. It’s like standing up for yourself and really laying it out. Sometimes it involves difficult, upfront conversations, and that’s not always easy.

I think certain things are easier for different people. But I know that when boundaries are clear and defined, it takes a lot of stress out.

Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!

Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/

[Questions Answered]

Erin – Virginia Beach, VA

I had an incident that mortified me recently, at work, a coworker asked me if I was pregnant!  I have PCOS, and during the pandemic, I have struggled to keep up with my fitness and eating goals, and I look more bloated than usual. I am feeling a lot of shame over my body. This is not the first time I have been asked if I’m pregnant over the years, but every time it happens it ruins my whole day (or week). I sometimes feel like I have to be absolutely perfect with my diet or else I will get unwanted comments! What is your advice on setting boundaries and handling unwanted/misguided comments on your body?

Natasha – Vancouver, BC

In the past, I really liked what you said about having a therapist where you’re actually working through things, not just venting or ranting to them. I have been working on some feelings for the past year or so and I feel like I’m just going in circles with my current therapist. You spoke about a therapist/healer that you work with in LA in one of your past podcasts. Would you be able to mention his/her name again?

Heather – Virginia Beach, VA 

Ever since I’ve gotten to my late 40’s the belly weight has hit me hard. I have been feeling really strange about my life and direction. It has gotten me to the point where I barely can go to sleep at night or wake up in the morning. My focus and motivation has gone out the window. I’m not even tackling my daily routine or chores. I just don’t know where my spark has gone. I want my pep in my step back. I don’t know how to get started or which direction to go. Can you recommend anything?

Abby – Bel Air, CA

I am currently a flexitarian although, would like to transition into a vegan in the near future. I am reaching out because I have been having digestive issues when eating a large portion of raw whole foods. Whenever I consume just a raw whole foods diet I tend to get loose stools right after meals. Is there a golden rule in portions? Is there something I should be taking prior or after eating a nutrient dense diet? Please help.

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Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:

• PCOS Help and Healthy Rhythms with Dr. Felice Gersh
• All About Weight Loss Hormones
• Clean, Plant-Based Whole Foods with Brendan Brazier
• Big Life Changes

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: 00:01 Hey, Beauties. Welcome back to our Thursday Q&A podcast. Today is a very, very special show because sitting next to me, in our bed actually, is my hubby John who is our guest co-host today. Welcome, baby, to the show.

Jon: 00:16 Thank you for having me back.

Kimberly: 00:19 So Katelyn is busy this week. She has a lot of stuff going on and hubby has graciously decided to accompany us today. I really love this show in particular. I love all our shows, but this show really speaks to my heart. I love to hear what you guys are wondering, what you’re thinking about, different things going on for you, different ways I can support you. Usually for all of us, we’ve gone through something similar or a lot of us have the same questions, so it really is such a great community show. I will say, Katelyn is the one that usually says it at the beginning and at the end, but if you are listening to this, if you have any questions that come up, be sure to go over to mysolluna.com and there’s a whole little podcast tab and you can easily start submitting your questions as well.

Leave a Review and Subscribe on Itunes

Kimberly: 01:12 Before we get in, just a little reminder to please leave us a review on iTunes, if you haven’t yet left one for us already. It’s quick, it’s easy, it’s free. It’s a really great way to support the show. So thank you so much in advance.

Kimberly: 01:26 All right, babe, all that being said … Oh, I just kept going on and on. I forgot to even say what our topic today is. I’m so excited to have you on the show. Our topic is about Setting Healthy Boundaries. I think this is a really … it’s something we talk about a lot. It’s a big thing with work, I think. With the way that you work with your colleagues and the way that you have relationships, family members, relatives. I mean, there’s a lot of ways that boundaries apply.

Kimberly: 02:03 I mean, I could go on and on about this, but I think we can get into the questions, but I will say for myself, setting healthy boundaries hasn’t been an easy thing. Sometimes it seems like simple, “Oh, just say what you mean,” but I think for me and a lot of women and some men too, obviously, confrontation can be really hard and it’s like standing up for yourself, laying it out. Sometimes it involves difficult, upfront conversations, and that’s not always easy.

Jon: 02:43 No, I always say that you can say anything to anyone, as long as you say it without anger or fear. My therapist told me that years ago and I think about it all the time. In trying to avoid confrontation. I’m like, “Just say what you need to say,” and I’ll still do it once in a while on a little thing, but I’ll never do it on a big thing.

Kimberly: 03:05 Right, right. Well, I think certain things are easier for different people. But I know that when boundaries are clear and defined, it takes a lot of stress out. It’s just the way it is. All right, baby.

Jon: 03:21 All right. [inaudible 00:03:21].

Kimberly: 03:22 You are all business. [crosstalk 00:03:26]. Oh my God.

Jon: 03:29 I’m trying to get to Erin from Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Kimberly: 03:32 Okay. Well, you know what? If you listen to the shows, you see Katelyn and I … we talk a little bit in the beginning.

Jon: 03:40 I know, but I haven’t listened to this specific version.

Kimberly: 03:43 Oh, I see you.

Jon: 03:45 [inaudible 00:03:45] scroll for the good guests.

Kimberly: 03:47 Oh, wow. Okay. Well, didn’t know that. Maybe you should have listened to some shows before you co-host,

Jon: 03:54 Yeah. Sorry, Katelyn.

Kimberly: 03:55 All right. All right. Let’s get into the first question then.

Question 1: I had an incident that mortified me recently at work. A coworker asked me if I was pregnant. I have PCOS and during the pandemic I’ve struggled to keep up with my fitness and eating goals and I look more bloated than usual. I’m feeling a lot of shame over my body. This is not the first time that I’ve been asked if I am pregnant over the years, but every time it happens, it ruins my day or week. I sometimes feel like it has to be absolutely perfect with my diet, but I’ll still get unwanted comments. What is your advice on setting boundaries and handling unwanted and misguided comments on your body?

Jon: 03:59 Setting healthy boundaries with others. This is from Erin from Virginia Beach, Virginia. “I had an incident that mortified me recently at work. A coworker asked me if I was pregnant. I have PCOS and during the pandemic I’ve struggled to keep up with my fitness and eating goals and I look more bloated than usual. I’m feeling a lot of shame over my body. This is not the first time that I’ve been asked if I am pregnant over the years, but every time it happens, it ruins my day or week. I sometimes feel like it has to be absolutely perfect with my diet, but I’ll still get unwanted comments. What is your advice on setting boundaries and handling unwanted and misguided comments on your body?”

Kimberly: 04:39 Wow. Erin, thank you so much for your question and for being part of our community. Sending you a big virtual hug. This is such a tough one. I think that all of us, if someone was to make a comment about our bodies, it would hurt. It wouldn’t be something that would feel good obviously. Even as strong or as confident as we can be, hearing those comments is definitely … that’s a big sensitive one. I know sometimes people have … even when people say … Babe, have they said this to you sometimes? They say it to me. Babe, people say, “Oh, are you doing okay? Everything good with the baby? Because you look tired.” [inaudible 00:05:32] tells you you look tired.

Jon: 05:35 It’s true. [crosstalk 00:05:36].

Kimberly: 05:37 Totally. Because it’s like, “Oh, I looked-“

Jon: 05:42 I’m great. Thanks for asking.

Kimberly: 05:45 Right. So I’m saying, how can you not feel sensitive to these kinds of questions. But when Erin’s saying, “How do you handle these comments?” I think the more emotional we get, the more personally we take it, the more riled up we get inside. It has nothing to do with the other person. It just has an effect on our nervous system. It puts us into that fight or flight, like something’s happening, we’re triggered, and that over time really does affect your body. It creates inflammation. That also, ironically, also contributes to bloating. This just kind of shut down feeling in your body definitely slows down digestion. So I know it’s not easy, Erin, but I would say you just have to remember that people are going about their day, not to take it so personally, maybe. Just someone was thinking about someone in their life being pregnant or whatever, and they just kind of just made a passing comment.

Kimberly: 06:51 So what I would do, and if someone says that to me in passing, like, “Oh, you look tired,” I’m just like, “Oh, well, whatever. I think I look okay today.” I just take a couple breaths, just take some deep breaths, exhale, just try to really let it go. But at the same time, and I tell you guys about this book that I love a lot. It’s called Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins. He talks about the importance of feeling your feelings and letting it go through your body. Otherwise we suppress and we repress energy and it stays in our bodies and it can transmute, it can pop up in different forms, like an achy back or indigestion or rashes or whatever. Energy just can change form.

Kimberly: 07:41 So we want to feel it, and then I think take some deep breaths, try not to take it personally. I think when it comes to handling these comments, just say something short and brief and polite, but I wouldn’t engage. I wouldn’t say like, “Oh, no,” and get angry and then kind of keep that energy going. Again, if we just try to keep in mind that people aren’t trying to attack us, it’s not such a personal thing.

Kimberly: 08:13 What do you think, babe? How would you handle that?

Jon: 08:16 So I’ve done that before.

Kimberly: 08:19 Done what?

Jon: 08:20 I’ve asked someone if they were pregnant and they were not pregnant.

Kimberly: 08:26 I think you had told me this story and that’s a really horrible thing to say to a woman.

Jon: 08:36 I was mortified.

Kimberly: 08:36 So why did you say that? Why did you bring it up if you didn’t know?

Jon: 08:39 Well, obviously I thought she was pregnant. That’s not the point. Obviously I thought she was pregnant. I wouldn’t have brought it up. There’s no ill will.

Kimberly: 08:45 Of course.

Jon: 08:46 It was more of like, “Congratulations! You’re pregnant,” but she wasn’t pregnant and now I will never ask anyone ever [inaudible 00:08:55] trauma over it. I felt horrible.

Kimberly: 08:57 Well, I mean, she was pissed.

Jon: 08:59 Of course.

Kimberly: 08:59 Yes, of course.

Jon: 09:01 The conversation is over at that point. There’s nothing you can say, there’s nothing you can do. It sucks, but the important thing is that there wasn’t any ill will and … you thought you were bloated anyway, you thought you were putting on weight. This is not new information, really. It’s just doesn’t feel good to hear it. Nobody wants to hear that. But you were thinking, “Oh, I feel a little bloated,” and pregnant women also are bloated.

Kimberly: 09:36 Well, very, very straight forward, babe. It’s true. But I will say Erin, there are so many reasons and there’s so many, many thousands of women that struggle with bloating. I was one of them for many years. I’ll say it’s not about eating perfectly, keeping everything really perfect. You talked about your fitness and your eating goals. I would just say, our goal I’ve always said is 80%, and sometimes we don’t hit that. Sometimes we don’t even get that close, but the goal is never 100% because if it’s 100, then it just feels like this very narrow balance beam that we have to stay on, and it’s super stressful. We can’t underestimate the impact that has on our system. We want to feel easeful and we want to feel relaxed and this is a whole lifestyle.

Kimberly: 10:29 That’s why we have our Four Cornerstones, which are food, body, emotional wellbeing and spiritual growth. So food and diet and exercise are one part of it. But just finding ways to be still and to relax your nervous system, meditation, being in nature, processing your feelings like we were just talking about. These are really important to health and also to letting go of bloating and digestion issues. So I would say Erin, we have a free starting guide that covers some of this stuff. It’s over at mysolluna.com. If you want to check it out, that’s a great place to get more info as well. So thank you again so much beauty, great question, and sending you a big virtual hug.

Question 2: In the past, I really liked what you said about having a therapist where you’re actually working through things, not just venting or ranting to them. I’ve been working on some feelings for the past year or so, and I feel like I’m going in circles with my current therapist. What’s the best way to work with a therapist?

Jon: 11:11 So next we have Natasha in Vancouver, British Columbia. My Canadian brethren right here.

Kimberly: 11:18 Oh.

Jon: 11:18 Setting healthy boundaries with therapists and your personal needs. “In the past, I really liked what you said about having a therapist where you’re actually working through things, not just venting or ranting to them. I’ve been working on some feelings for the past year or so, and I feel like I’m going in circles with my current therapist. What’s the best way to work with a therapist?”

Kimberly: 11:41 So Natasha, sending you a big hug over there across the border. As we said, John’s family is actually in Montreal where you grew up, Palm Bay.

Jon: 11:51 Yes.

Kimberly: 11:53 So I think this is a great question and I think that it is very important that whoever you talk to as a therapist type of figure or a healer or something like that, you really have to have a connection. I also feel like you have to feel like you’re moving forward. You know what I mean? Because I’ll share that I have someone I work with now. Her name’s Laura and she’s wonderful. She works with energy and she’s not a street therapist per se, but we definitely talk about different things. I feel like, “Oh, there’s things that I’m working on and working through,” and I’m understanding myself more.

Kimberly: 12:38 I have tried a more traditional therapist in the past and I did feel like we were talking about in this question, just going in circles and ranting and I would actually leave the appointments and I wouldn’t feel good. I’d be like, “Oh, well maybe all this energy just came out and it’s at the surface,” but it was more like reliving everything and ranting. She didn’t really give me another perspective. It was more like she was there just nodding her head and agreed. So what happened was I would stay in my stories and my just little perspective of what was happening and it was reinforcing it and it didn’t feel good. So I think that it’s very valuable to talk to someone. Sometimes your friends can be biased or your mom or your family, and sometimes I think a therapist that I want to work with is someone that helps me grow and helps me just be the best version of myself, instead of someone that just agrees with me. So what would you say, babe? You’ve talked to different therapists.

Jon: 13:48 I’m a really big believer in talk therapy if it’s the right connection.

Kimberly: 13:55 You mean like talk therapy is conventional talking through and then getting advice or …

Jon: 14:03 I feel like there’s a real backlash against talk therapy right now in pop culture. It’s like it’s an ineffective way to deal with trauma and things like that. I don’t think that’s true.

Kimberly: 14:16 I think awareness is really important, and I think that for me, the way I work and I can just say it’s worked for me. There’s an element of talking and then there’s an element of body healing or energy, Reiki. I also practice Reiki myself. I like to work in different levels, but the talking part is important to me too, because I need to process something.

Jon: 14:39 I had a traditional kind of Freudian, almost, therapist for many years. There would often be sessions where it was like ranting and it wasn’t that productive and then something would happen and then I’d come into a session and I wouldn’t really want to talk. Then I was like, “Oh, we don’t really have anything to talk about, everything’s okay. Everything’s pretty good, this and that,” and then something really good would come out of it. But I knew that I had a connection with that therapist.

Kimberly: 15:10 Right. It’s the connection-

Jon: 15:11 Yeah. I think you really need to be … I think you have to have faith in the process and the only way you can have faith in the process is if you believe in the person that’s guiding the process. So you really have to just go with your gut if that person is the right person and often it isn’t. Often you have to go through a few-

Kimberly: 15:32 Oh, totally.

Jon: 15:32 Until you find someone you’re like, “Okay, you understand how my brain works.”

Kimberly: 15:36 Yeah. I think it is important to keep going until you find that connection and not settle because this is such a huge, important person to, again, help you process. Our third cornerstone here is emotional wellbeing and this whole part of our life, our emotions, our feelings needs to be really nurtured and nourished just like eating well. My really good friend Justin is someone who I have a shared spiritual perspective with, and he’s just a really great guy and he recommended who I work with now. So sometimes I think if you go through a friend that has a similar vibe and you trust, that’s also a good way to find a therapist.

Kimberly: 17:20 But I do think it’s valuable. Even if it’s been a bit of a circle with this one, Natasha, I just say move on. This is where the healthy boundaries thing comes up. We deserve to have the right therapist. So don’t feel bad. Sometimes, babe, and you’ve done this too, and I know I’ve done this. You keep someone working for you. You keep them on because it’s hard to let people go sometimes.

Jon: 17:48 Oh, I’ve done that my whole career.

Kimberly: 17:49 Just kept them on.

Jon: 17:52 You know how many calls with my therapist were about people that I should let go that I haven’t cut off at work? Then I’d be annoyed that I was spending my time talking to my therapist about somebody that I should just like go.

Break

Kimberly: 18:08 It’s a hard thing to do, but it’s a good skill. It’s like the boundaries, if it’s not working for both people, especially. All right. Well I think it’s our break time.

Jon: 18:21 It is time for our little tea break.

Kimberly: 18:24 Okay. We will be right back in just a moment.

Kimberly: 18:31 All right, Beauties. We are back from our short break and we have two more questions for you guys on this topic of setting healthy boundaries. All right, babe.

Question 3: Ever since I’ve gotten into my late 40s, the belly weight has hit me hard. I’ve been feeling really strange about my life and direction. It’s gotten me to the point where I can barely go to sleep at night or wake up in the morning. My focus and motivation has gone out the window. I’m not even tackling my daily routine or chores. I just don’t know where my spark has gone. I want my pep in my step back. I don’t know how to get started or which direction to go. Can you recommend anything?

Jon: 18:42 Okay. Let’s get right into it. We have Heather from Virginia Beach, Virginia. A lot of Virginia Beach-

Kimberly: 18:48 Yeah. Interesting.

Jon: 18:50 Setting healthy boundaries with personal expectations. “Ever since I’ve gotten into my late 40s, the belly weight has hit me hard. I’ve been feeling really strange about my life and direction. It’s gotten me to the point where I can barely go to sleep at night or wake up in the morning. My focus and motivation has gone out the window. I’m not even tackling my daily routine or chores. I just don’t know where my spark has gone. I want my pep in my step back. I don’t know how to get started or which direction to go. Can you recommend anything?”

Kimberly: 19:20 Heather, thank you so much for reaching out, sending you a huge big hug out there to Virginia. I hope you’re keeping well. I can feel the energy in your question. I can feel the frustration and that feeling, that period that we’ve … I would say all of us have gone through, but I think a lot of us have gone through when it just feels like everything is compiled at once. You don’t feel good in your body and then your sleep is off and then your motivation‘s gone. It almost feels like hitting rock bottom. I can share when I felt like I was hitting rock bottom was when my mom got sick and then she passed away really quickly and there was just all these big life changes happening and Bubbi wasn’t even yet one years old.

Kimberly: 20:19 So I know what it’s like to feel like, “Oh, the spark is gone,” but I will say that if you lose touch with seeing the spark, the spark is never, ever really gone. So it’s who we are. The essence of who we are really is light and it is this energy. In the Bhagavad Gita they say no arrow can ever pierce the soul, no water can wet it and no wind can damage it. That is definitely a paraphrase, but this idea that it’s there and so we have to wake it back up, Heather. I can share for myself when I hit rock bottom, I needed a reset period, and I had actually met with the monk at the self realization fellowship, which is a Yogananda’s meditation organization basically. There’s this monk that I love and I meet with from time to time.

Kimberly: 21:24 He said, “Just treat your home like an ashram for three months or so, and really just focus, reset, get back to taking care of yourself.” This was pre-quarantine, of course, and so this just felt like this deep simplification where everything got stripped away and I was just taking care of myself and making healthy food, but not really going out and just cutting out a lot of distractions and refocusing and reading inspiring materials and journaling and just processing a lot. So I will say that this question, Heather, it comes at a really, in a way, great time because in quarantine now there is this opportunity, maybe not full quarantine, what it was, but much more home-based life for most all of us. So it’s a really great opportunity to sort of reset and refocus and look at your goals and write them down and start to just sit with yourself and think about what you really want.

Kimberly: 22:34 Then I will also say that for me, that was sort of this process that took a few weeks. It took a little bit of time, but I started feeling stronger and stronger, not from pushing myself from where I was, but just letting myself have space to breathe. Then the way I started getting back on track was … what I always say was starting with the morning. So if you start with your morning routine and you start to really hone in that energy for the day, you start the day on an up, you know what you have to do. So you don’t have to think about it, you don’t have to spend all this brainpower. It requires less motivation when you just know, “Okay, I’m going to sit up, I’m going to meditate. Even if it’s just a couple of minutes and I’m going to go down, I’m going to make hot water with lemon. I’m going to take my SBO Probiotics. I’m going to drink my GGS.”

Kimberly: 23:24 You really just start getting into a flow in the morning and you can just put your energy there and you don’t have to be perfect the rest of the day. The rest of the day can continue to build up. But just keeping to a few simple practices that you’ll stick to. Again, which could just be the hot water with lemon, taking your probiotics, your GGS, meditation, boom, boom, boom. Just a few things that you know that you consistently stick with, and then you can build from there. It’s really important just to feel good, to feel accomplished, to feel like you’re on track with a few things, instead of having 50 things that you’re trying to do because you’re trying to revamp your whole life at once, and then you’re kind of doing a lot of them half-ass or you forget, and then that also tanks your self confidence.

Kimberly: 24:09 So that’s how I got back on track. Just giving myself the space, rethinking my intentions and what I wanted to create, and then starting from the morning up, and as I got stronger, I had more energy for myself. What would you say, baby? Do you have any times where you felt off track and how did you get back on?

Jon: 24:31 Totally. It happens to every single person.

Kimberly: 24:33 Sure. It’s true.

Jon: 24:34 What I find helps for me when I get into a rut like this is that I try and do something, set a goal to do something that I’m excited about. Just something. Anything. Just start [inaudible 00:24:50]. Build a dog house, paint something, draw something, write a poem. Do whatever, just change your routine a little bit.

Kimberly: 25:04 Wait, did you say you do something you’re excited about or you plan for something?

Jon: 25:04 No, you do something. You set a goal that’s achievable that you’re excited about doing, that isn’t necessarily changing your job or something like that-

Kimberly: 25:11 But a shorter term goal.

Jon: 25:13 Something that’s just starting your climb and having the fact that you want to feel good or that you want to make that change, and then you’re actually taking proactive steps to do things that are different, that excite you tends to work for me.

Kimberly: 25:31 Can you give us an example?

Jon: 25:34 So I haven’t really been exercising lately and I’ve been kind of in a … I’m like, Whoa, I should really exercise.” I’ve been feeling guilty about it because it’s been part of my life for so long, and then now I haven’t been doing it. Because I’m not exercising. I feel more sluggish than I normally would. I’m sleeping in later. There’s a little bit more just laziness.

Kimberly: 26:03 A little sloppy.

Jon: 26:04 A little sloppy, and so I’m just going to get up and tomorrow morning start doing it. If I don’t do it tomorrow morning, I’ll do it on Friday morning. But I can still do it. If I don’t do it, it might take me a couple of days, but within a couple of days I will figure it out and just do it. Then hopefully those things become routines and they lead to other routines and it’s just random that I’m giving you an exercise example right now, because that’s what I’m feeling right now, but it could be anything.

Kimberly: 26:37 But I’m saying that moment where you’re in the slothiness and you’ve gotten into this routine like, “Oh, this feels pretty good in the morning-“

Jon: 26:44 No, it doesn’t. No, it doesn’t.

Kimberly: 26:46 Well, listen to my question, baby, but let’s say you’re in this routine. It doesn’t feel good, but there’s something that is keeping you in bed and all this stuff. Let’s say you just make a decision, but the day of that decision, you kind of get up and you feel the same way and you crawl back in. What is it inside of you that makes you get out to make you exercise for the first time? The heart of Heather’s question was about how do I get back on track? What do I do? I don’t have direction.

Jon: 27:13 So I’m stern with myself. I don’t know if that’s the advice that you-

Kimberly: 27:21 No, but what’s the consequence, if you’re a stern with yourself?

Jon: 27:23 There’s no consequence. Like I said, I’ll do it tomorrow and if I don’t do it tomorrow, I’ll be annoyed.

Kimberly: 27:28 Yeah. So is the consequence feeling guilty?

Jon: 27:31 [crosstalk 00:27:31] I’ll forgive myself.

Kimberly: 27:31 Okay.

Jon: 27:33 Then I’ll do it the next day. But it won’t be that many days of saying I’m going to do something to myself, and holding myself accountable somewhat to doing those things. I mean, that’s life, right? But we’re talking about someone who wants to find their purpose. This is not a person that has lost hope. This is a person that’s looking for solutions, and as long as you’re looking solutions, you’re going to find them.

Kimberly: 28:02 Right, right, right. Are you talking to Heather?

Jon: 28:05 Yes.

Kimberly: 28:05 Yes. It’s true. We are here for you, Heather. We love you. We are rooting for you. Please keep in touch with us and let us know what’s going on, how you’re doing and keep your questions coming. Big virtual hug. Another one. I wish I could jet over to Virginia and give Heather and Erin a hug in the same place.

Jon: 28:28 These are really real, heavy, awesome questions.

Kimberly: 28:32 Yeah.

Question 4: I’m currently a flexitarian, although I’d like to transition into a vegan in the near future. I am reaching out because I had been having digestive issues when eating a large portion of raw, whole food. Is there a golden rule in portions? Is there something I should be taking prior or after eating a nutrient dense diet? Please help.

Jon: 28:35 Abby, from Bel Air, California. “I’m currently a flexitarian, although I’d like to transition into a vegan in the near future. I am reaching out because I had been having digestive issues when eating a large portion of raw, whole food. Is there a golden rule in portions? Is there something I should be taking prior or after eating a nutrient dense diet? Please help.”

Kimberly: 29:05 Abby, thank you so much for your question, love. I mean, first of all, this is super, super common. When we transitioned to even a more plant based diet or a fully plant based diet, we can be sure that there’s an incredible increase of fiber in our system, and that will definitely throw your digestion off. If you’re used to eating a certain amount, it can definitely cause digestive distress. Our bodies have to be … they have to get used to having that large amount of fiber over time. So certain doctors like Dr. John McDougall will say things like, “Oh, it takes about a month to actually transition your body to a more plant based diet.” I’ve heard different things, but I will say what’s really helpful in this regard is, first of all, taking Digestive Enzymes right before you eat your meals.

Kimberly: 29:59 That includes smoothies if you’re transitioning, so you can check out our feel good digestive enzymes. They’re really great. This is over at mysolluna.com. We also have strains. This is the one that I actually have and developed for you guys and use every day myself, but there’s strains for helping to break down fiber. So it’s really, really great. I would also say in this transition process, when you are transitioning to being vegan, Abby, to make sure to eat quite a bit of cooked food and cooked veggies, which digest better on your system and it will just help things like kitcheree and stew and soups and all those different foods will be really, really great. Just remember, it’s going to take a little bit of time. It’s going to be a little bit of a process, but I think it’s really wonderful and over time your body will adjust and then you’ll have a much more nutrient dense diet and the energy of eating plant foods is super high, super high frequency.

Kimberly: 31:01 All right, babe. Well, thank you so much for-

Jon: 31:04 You don’t want to get my input on the dietary question?

Kimberly: 31:07 Oh, it just seemed like you were kind of tuning out over there.

Jon: 31:09 No, I was listening.

Kimberly: 31:10 Okay.

Jon: 31:11 Baby, I don’t have an input on a dietary question.

Kimberly: 31:13 Well, do you want to talk about it?

Jon: 31:17 Don’t eat raw foods?

Kimberly: 31:20 Well, baby, I think that I’ve been liking your diet lately. We’ve been going to the farmer’s market a lot and baby loves the Dharma’s Kale Salad, Beauties. The kale salad. It’s really yummy. It’s hearty, right?

Jon: 31:36 [inaudible 00:31:36] nutritional yeast.

Kimberly: 31:37 Nutritional yeast and lemon. So it’s very like, “Ooh,” like I feel like eating kale is just this wonderful dense food. So, sorry, baby. Did you want to weigh in anything?

Jon: 31:48 I didn’t, no. I was just trying to be funny.

Kimberly: 31:51 Okay. We end the show with a thought of the week. So you can ask me what the thought of the week is this week.

Thought of the Week

Jon: 31:59 What is the thought of the week?

Kimberly: 32:00 Okay, thank you for asking. Sometimes it’s a quote. Sometimes it’s just a general concept, which it is this week. My thought has to do with making gratitude a daily practice versus just a one off. So I actually did this little video on Instagram yesterday, a couple of days ago now, and we’re doing … what I’m starting, babe, because I really miss our circles. So I’m doing these little videos on Instagram, which you guys can check out. It’s circle thoughts, so like the circle thought of the week. It was about this topic and it was about this idea that people talk about gratitude so much. It’s such a big topic that comes up and it makes us feel good. It shifts our mood. It takes us out of negativity. It’s really great for our bodies and our wellness. So why wouldn’t we want to bring it in every day, right?

Kimberly: 32:58 The way that we bring in meditation or drinking a glowing green smoothie. So my idea was to make it part of your life, so it’s a lifestyle. So you’re constantly bringing in gratitude. Baby, you talk about feeling grateful all the time, but for a lot of us, it’s a practice to keep bringing the mind back to that. I think sometimes my mind goes to like, “Well, what am I going to do next? What else is going on?” So the way that I like to build the practice, my favorite practice, is that you pair it with something you’re already doing. So for us, it’s pairing our dinner with our gratitude practice, where we are already sitting down for dinner as a family. So then one of us says grace, and then we go around and we say what we’re grateful for.

Kimberly: 33:43 I really love this practice because, first of all, I just think that it’s great to do something as a family. Second of all, sometimes we don’t think about it unless it’s Thanksgiving or something at a meal. But it’s a really great way to bring it up, and we all say it, and Bubbi sometimes says things like, “Dinosaurs!” It’s really funny, but yeah, I love it as a practice. What do you think, baby?

Jon: 34:08 So I love it also. It’s kind of a way also to check in on the day and to think about something that you wouldn’t normally think about. Generally, it’s a person or something that’s very special to you. So on ours, there’s always like, “I’m grateful for you. I’m grateful for our kids. I’m grateful for the land here. I’m grateful for our careers that we found, that we’re doing what we actually love in life.” Then there’s something that like, “Grateful for this person that works with me,” or, “I’m grateful for this trip we went on.”

Kimberly: 34:40 Today I was grateful for our gardener, who’s amazing. Arturo.

Jon: 34:43 Right. Just things like that, that I don’t think would pop in otherwise, unless you made a conscious effort. Like, “Wow, today I’m really feeling grateful for this specific thing.”

Kimberly: 34:57 Well, and that’s the beauty of the practice. Because we’re like, “Oh, I’m a grateful person.” Right? But unless you call in that energy specifically and regularly, that’s when you get the real benefit, I think. It becomes part of your life.

Kimberly: 35:11 Well, all right, Beauties, thank you so much for tuning in. Baby, thank you for being our cohost today.

Jon: 35:16 Thank you for having me.

Kimberly: 35:17 I really appreciate it. Beauties, I hope you enjoyed our little session here with John. We will bring him back for some other interviews. Maybe next time I’ll interview you again, babe.

Jon: 35:30 Wow.

Kimberly: 35:32 We will be back here, speaking of interviews, Monday for our next interview and until then, take great care and check out all our resources, everything, including the show notes over at mysolluna.com and for daily inspiration, come over to SollunabyKS on the Instagram. Oh, you can hear Mosey starting to wake up. And mine, which is at _KimberlySnyder for daily motivation over on Instagram. Thank you guys so much. Love you, love you. Keep the questions coming and take great care and lots of love.

Jon: 36:09 Night, Beauties.

Kimberly: 36:10 Good night.