This week’s topic is: Creating Space for What You Love
I love focusing on what you love, what you’re passionate about and really creating your life around that because otherwise we all get so busy and life gets chaotic and we try to pack all this other stuff in.
We go through our normal routine, our normal schedule, day in and day out and then we may say, “Oh, what happened last week? Or what happened last month? And I didn’t even get to sit down and write or paint or work on this project or exercise or try out this new recipe. What’s going on?” And then life starts to feel stressful and crowded.
We want to be conscious because otherwise, if we don’t consciously create what we spend our time on, then life will tell us. We’ll get so busy and end up saying yes to other people’s schedules and what they want. And then again, time can go on. So it’s really important to highlight this topic, to really think about what we are, what we want, what we want to create, and to put the space and the love and the effort into those endeavors.
Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question and 3 more sent in by Beauties just like you, listen now to find out!
Despite having been at home with the whole virus situation, I can’t seem to make time for what truly inspires me, which is writing. I get sidetracked with all the housework I have to do and then am too tired and want to just turn on the TV. Any suggestions on where to start?
Steph – GA
Do you ever feel guilty when you take time for yourself? I don’t know how to not feel bad when I take some ‘me’ time, which I feel is so important in rejuvenating myself and getting to where I would like to be.
Emma – UK
I know all the benefits and “how to’s” of a good morning routine but I just can’t seem to get into the habit of one! Tiredness and lack of motivation seem to impair me constantly and the mornings throw off my whole day. If I do one thing what do you suggest?
Stacy – Tampa
What tips or affirmations can I use to stop obsessing about my body in a negative way and create the life I want?
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Kimberly : Hey, Beauties, welcome back to our Thursday community Q&A show. And our topic today day is Creating Space for What You Love. And I really love today’s show. I love focusing on what you love, what you’re passionate about and really creating your life around that because otherwise we all get so busy and life gets chaotic and we try to pack all this other stuff in, or we just go through our normal routine, our normal schedule, day in and day out and then we may say, “Oh, what happened last week? Or what happened last month? And I didn’t even get to sit down and write or paint or work on this project or exercise or try out this new recipe. What’s going on?” And then life starts to feel stressful, crowded, just drudgery. Right?
Kimberly : So we want to be conscious because otherwise, if we don’t consciously create what we spend our time on, then life will tell us. We’ll get so busy, we’ll end up having to say yes to other people’s schedules and what they want. And then again, time can go on. So it’s really important, I think, to highlight this topic, to really think about what we are, what we want, what we want to create, and to put the space and the love and the effort into those endeavors.
Kimberly : Speaking of which, I will say that when I started doing this consciously, my whole life changed. I was busy working, but then somehow I had to figure out how to be able to start writing books in between. So my priorities, my life, my lifestyle has shifted, which I’ll share with you in today’s podcast, to be able to accommodate all these different things. And now with two kids, including a newborn, and doing the podcast, working on courses, I’m working on our pregnancy course, which is coming out soon, I’m working on a new book, I’m running Solluna. So I do have a lot to say about creating space and it’s definitely possible even when your life is super busy.
Kimberly : So before we get started, I just want to shout out that we have a new Beauty Inside Out course, that we partnered with Commune on, which is a media platform that does different courses. So if you check out the show notes over at mysolluna.com, you’ll see some information and a link to sign up. So it’s going to be free for a certain period, and then you can opt in, you can purchase the core, so you have it forever, but there is a free component. So check it out. It’s amazing. It’s called Beauty Inside Out, and it’s very full with more details and more information on how to live this life with the four cornerstones. So again, head over to mysolluna.com and you can check it out in the show notes.
Question 1: Despite having been at home with the whole virus situation, I can’t seem to make time for what truly inspires me, which is writing. I get sidetracked with all the housework I have to do and then am too tired and want to just turn on the TV. Any suggestions on where to start?
Kimberly : All right. So, all that being said, let’s dive into this topic today, creating space for what you love. Our first question comes… Oh, and I will say that Caitlin again is swamped with the pregnancy course, with upgrades to our website. I mean, there’s so much behind the scenes going on right now. So I’m doing this week again by myself, but hopefully she will be back soon. So our first question comes from Denise in Florida. And she writes, “Despite having been at home with the whole virus situation, I can’t seem to make time for what truly inspires me, which is writing. I get sidetracked with all the housework I have to do, and then I’m too tired and I want to just turn on the TV. Any suggestions on where to start?”
Kimberly : So Denise, I love this question. I think it’s very practical.I think that this is something that, we all fall into where we start to have the best intentions for what we want to create, but then when we put it as the last priority, just as you’re saying, Denise, we often end up getting too exhausted before we even get there. So remember when something is our priority, if something’s our passion, if we want to move a project forward, we want to move it up in the time slot where we have more attention and we have more energy to give it. So what I would say is this is this is an important skill for batching. So there are practical every day things that we have to do such as making food, cleaning up the house, so on and so forth. What we want to do is find a way to do that housework, Denise, later instead of before your priorities, and to batch it as much as possible.
Kimberly : So that could mean doing a bunch of laundry loads at once or once or twice a week deciding when you’re going to clean the bathroom or when you’re going to vacuum or do the kitchen or whatever. And really sort of trying to, instead of dribbling a little bit every day here and there, to find focused time, and you could put it down in your schedule, you can say, “This is the hour I’m going to clean.” or figure out the schedule for that. What I would say is where you want your most creative power to come through, which is your writing, I would say to do it right in the morning, Denise, right away, before you do your housework, before you get swept up in chores and while your energy is high.
Kimberly : So for me, I will do my morning routine. I never skip my meditation, first of all. I think the whole morning routine gets me in sync with my brainwaves and my focus. It gets me ready to sit down and write too, because I am doing quite a bit of writing right now. So I still do that. You still want to follow your four cornerstones, nurture your body, take your probiotics, drink your hot water with lemon. Do all of that. Meditate, center yourself. And then right away is when I start working on the book or the pregnancy course or whatever it is that I need to write. So it starts already with Bubby playing next to me and everything has just started getting underway, but I have the most clarity and the most brain power right in the morning.
Kimberly : So what I would do is if there’s something that you are passionate about and you think, “Well, I’m not making money from it yet.” Or, “I guess this can wait.” Don’t let it wait. Even if you need to get up a little bit earlier. By putting it first in your day, you’re saying to yourself, you’re saying to the universe, that “This is what I really want to create. And this is important to me.” And you’re putting your fullest energy in it. Now, if you have a job, and you need to do that first thing, sure, that could be something that you have to work on first in the morning. So your choice is either to get up a little bit earlier, work on your project, your passion project first before you start your job, or if you do have your job, to still schedule it in during your lunch break, or as soon as you finish in the afternoon or whatever it is.
Kimberly : I wouldn’t just kind of say, “Oh, well, I’ll get to it whenever I get to it.” Because that means, you see, you keep getting tired, each day keeps getting full, and then you never get around to it. So just make sure wherever it is that you schedule it, you put it in, you commit to it, you treat it like a actual obligation. You treat it like an actual part of your schedule, an appointment that you have to keep. And that way you really do build around that, you build the space for what you love. So, again, make it a definite thing instead of something that could easily just get pushed away. Don’t treat it like it’s invisible, treat it like it’s a really valuable important part of your life right now. And it will be.
Question 2: Do you ever feel guilty when you take time for yourself? I don’t know how to not feel bad when I take some me time, which I feel is so important in rejuvenating myself and getting to where I like to be.
Kimberly : All right, let’s go to our next question who comes from Steph in Georgia. And she writes, “Do you ever feel guilty when you take time for yourself? I don’t know how to not feel bad when I take some me time, which I feel is so important in rejuvenating myself and getting to where I like to be.” So Steph, thank you so much for your question. I will say that as someone who’s very doing-focused and driven and a perfectionist myself, sometimes I do think, “”Oh, you know, maybe I should be more productive right now. Maybe, I should be editing this or I could be doing emails instead of giving myself, taking the time to take a bath or whatever my self care is that day, giving myself an Abhyanga oil massage. Sometimes that thought does go through my head, Steph. I think we’re hardwired, a lot of us, to be so productive and to get so much done that sometimes our brains say, “What are you doing? Are you just relaxing? Are you being lazy? What’s going on here?”
Kimberly : But I know enough now, I know consciously. And this is where I think you are too, Steph, you know consciously that it’s important to rejuvenate yourself, you know consciously that this is really actually important because we can’t just, think about your car and how you have to get it serviced and you have to change the oil and you have to put in fresh gas and you have to vacuum it. You have to take care of it. So if we just wear ourselves down all the time, all the time, we’re not going to be at our highest level of vitality. We’re not going to be able to put our fullest energy into our words, our actions, whatever we’re creating. We start to get depleted bit by bit by bit. And so we’re never giving our fullest, and everybody around us is going to feel that on some level, whether it’s conscious or subconscious. Maybe the food you’re making doesn’t have the same flavor to it. And every everything’s energy so it just feels a little bit more sloppily put together. And maybe you’re not as present with your kids or your family. Maybe your work projects don’t have that same energy, that excitement behind them.
Kimberly : So next time you start to feel that guilt creeping in about self-care and you hear yourself saying, “Oh, well, maybe I should be cleaning instead. Or maybe I should be doing more work or whatever it is.” Just talk to yourself and remind yourself, “This is actually a form of productivity. This is a important piece of making the ship run efficiently, is to take care and to pause and to rejuvenate and to do all these things, to fill back up.” You need to fill your cup up. Otherwise you start to run on empty and everything starts to starts to suffer. So what I would say, Steph, is the same thing that I was talking about a little bit with Denise in the last question is to look at your schedule, and to really put it in your schedule to treat it like an appointment, to treat it as something that you are scheduling in, so therefore you are following it just like a Zoom conference call or sending in a proposal by a certain time or whatever. “Hey, for this hour, I’m going to stop work at 5:00 instead of 6:00 so I can really take the time to do that DIY mask that I really wanted to do or I’m going to be able to give my self a little bit of an extra meditation. I’m going to sit outside in nature. I’m going to do this because it’s important and it feels good.”
Kimberly : So I also have found that over time the more aware I become of my body, because I used to be not aware of my body, I used to be disconnected from my body. I used to think of my head about calories and what I should be eating based on calories. I used to just push my body to run because I wanted to be skinny, even though I hated running. But now the more aware I am of my body, my body will start to tell me, “Hey, listen to this little bit of an ache in your knee or feel what’s going on in your general fatigue.” The more tuned in I am with my body, the more I know that it’s time to do more self care. It’s time to step back. It’s time to pause and to give myself that.
Kimberly : And I will say too, just listen to your body and tune in, and it will start to tell you what you need. And when you’re in the level of feeling and intuition and experience, you start to get out of your head more. And your head is where guilt lives. Your head is the thoughts that say, “Oh, don’t spend too much time on yourself or you’re being selfish or you’re lazy.” That’s your head. Listen more to your body and go with the natural flow of your body, Steph, I will say. And then you’re able to tune in more and to give yourself what you need. And it doesn’t feel like, “This is bad. This is good.” Like all these labels of putting things in categories, it’s more, “This is what’s needed right now. And this is what I feel right now.” And it just becomes easier over time when you’re living on that level. So that is my advice. Give it a go. See how you do, and do definitely schedule in yourself care time.
Kimberly : All right, Beauties, we have a short break for you and we will be right back after this show for two more questions, right back after this break rather, for two more questions for you guys on this topic, creating space for what you love.
Question 3: I know all the benefits and “how-tos” of a good morning routine, but I can’t seem to get into the habit of one. Tiredness and lack of motivation seem to impair me constantly. And the mornings throw off my whole day. If I do one thing, what do you suggest?
Kimberly : All right. Beauties. I have a next question for you after our little break. This question comes from Emma in the UK and she writes, “I know all the benefits and “how-tos” of a good morning routine, but I can’t seem to get into the habit of one. Tiredness and lack of motivation seem to impair me constantly. And the mornings throw off my whole day. If I do one thing, what do you suggest?”
Kimberly : All right, Emma, great question. We were just talking about starting from the morning up, really getting your morning tuned in and super dialed in so that you do set up the day for a day of success and feeling connected and feeling wonderful, feeling good, which is the name of our podcast. When I say feel good, it doesn’t mean, “Oh, I’m happy all the time and I’m cheerful.” But feeling good to me means feeling open, feeling connected to yourself, feeling connected to your intuition. So it doesn’t mean a specific feeling, per se, but good, which is a little bit broad, again, just means, “Hey, I’m in tune with myself. I know I need to rest. I need to cry. I feel elated today. Or I feel a little bit down today. I’m going to give myself a break. I’m going to take some space.” Feeling good is that going with a natural flow and the natural rhythm of life, instead of going against your flow and going against your intuition, which is a place that I think we’ve all been. I have been there and that does not feel good. And that’s when life starts to feel arduous and exhausting.
Kimberly : So back to Emma’s question, if you’re feeling like you’re dragging in the morning, Emma, if you feel like you’re exhausted right from when you wake up, there could be a couple things happening. Number one, well, first of all, obviously you’re not getting enough rejuvenation. You’re not getting enough deep sleep. So number one, are you eating dinner too close to bedtime? We know that one of the reasons people don’t sleep as well, one of the reasons people tend to feel more fatigued in the morning is if they’ve been up digesting all night. So if your body is at least partially digesting all throughout the night, you’re not going to feel as rejuvenated. You’re not going to be able to get the most restfulness from your sleep, day in and day out, night after night. So you want to make sure that you’re moving up your dinner time so it’s at least three, four hours before bed. So if you go to bed at 10:00 or 11:00, try to eat by sevenish, which isn’t crazy, especially again, because we’re home, and we have a little bit more control over our schedule.
Kimberly : Number two, start, we’re talking about a morning routine, but we need to take a step back and look at your evening routine.Make sure that you’re dialing in some sort of rhythm to signal to your body to get to bed. So shower, bath, Abhyanga, meditation, herbal tea, reading, journaling, start to define that, and start to create some sort of goal bedtime. So, this sounds funny as adults. I mean, obviously I have a goal bedtime with Bubby, which sometimes we do exceed. Eggy, Mr. Eggy, does not have a bedtime yet because he’s a newborn. But anyways, with children, it becomes more defined, and then as adults, I think everything just sort of goes out the window. So it doesn’t mean, sometimes a friend may call late, a friend’s upset, or you’re get into watching a really interesting documentary or something, and you may go to bed later, but having the idea, the goal, “Hey, I want to be in bed by 10:30 every night asleep.” Or, “At 10:30, at least, I’ll try to get to sleep by 10:30.” Or 11:00 or 10:00 or whatever it is, is going to start to create some structure.
Kimberly : Because if we want a good morning, it means that we need to go into the morning with energy and vitality and restfulness. And if we’re not, then again, we need to take a step back and look at what we’re doing the night before. So assuming you make some shifts, Emma, with your evening routine, when you’re eating dinner, when you’re going to bed, let’s just say that you come into the mornings and over time you have more just oomph, you have more energy, you have more vitality in the morning, you feel a lot more focused. This is going to help. As you yourself said, you can notice when your days feel thrown off, and you can notice when you feel more on point and more focused. And it’s really, really important to create that. We’re talking about creating space for what you love, your morning time does set the tone for the day. Your morning time is going to largely dictate the energy and the flow as you continue to go into your day.
Kimberly : So if you’re going to do one thing in the morning, I will say it’s tough to pick one thing, but I would say to meditate. When you meditate, you focus your energy. You gather yourself, you center yourself, you sit with your spine straight. I had the most amazing meditation this morning, you guys. And even though I was running around and there was just a lot going on, and Bubby and Mosey and Mr. Eggy and hubby and everybody’s just around, I felt like I really tapped in, and I just felt relaxed and centered. And I just felt my energy harmonize with my meditation. So one thing, you can’t see it physically, but it does shift the energy. It does help you have more awareness over your breath, awareness over your body. It can help keep your food in check. It can help reduce food cravings. It can help you just organize, stay calm, see what’s before you, make better decisions, know which steps you need to take first. There’s a real power in getting centered before you start your day.
Kimberly : Now let’s say you can do another thing. So an easy add on thing to do is to take your SBO Probiotics. You don’t have to make anything. You don’t have to cook anything, but it’s a very, very important step for taking care of your overall gut health and therefore your overall wellbeing and your overall health. So that would be the next thing I would add in the morning, because it’s easy to take a pill. You could sit right up in your bed and do your meditation. And then ideally you would continue to build as motivation builds, as you get more into your flow, drinking hot water with lemon, drinking your GGS, so on and so forth. But I will say, Emma, start with that. Start to feel the power of your breath and your energy. And then you start to feel more secure in yourself. You start to feel more confident in what you can do in the day and how powerful you are.
Kimberly : So that’s my number one thing in the morning. I know if I skip my meditation for whatever reason, if I just get too caught up, and then I’m already ahead and then out of bed and changing diapers and doing everything else, I too feel thrown off. I too feel like I’m not efficiently using my time, that things are discombobulated and disorganized, but there’s such a difference when I just take that time to meditate. So I’ll say again, Beauties, if you need some guidance, if you’re getting started, if you are not sure how to meditate, meditation isn’t just sitting with your eyes closed. There’s definite ways that you want to direct your breath and your focus and your energy so that you can go deeper and deeper into your connection with yourself and source and God, universe, whatever word you want to use. So we have some guided free meditations over at mysolluna.com. I think it’s great to get started with guidance, with some focus, so that you are able to make the most of the times that you sit. And I know that we’re all busy, so you’re not going to be able to meditate all the time all day, unfortunately. But when you do take that time, when you do sit for it, we want it to be the deepest and the best that it can be.
Kimberly : So check out the meditations if you’re looking for guidance, or anywhere else, any other app, any other teacher that you feel you resonate with, but do what you need to do to get that going. And then again, Emma, check out the night before and dial in your morning, girl. The more we really have a wonderful morning, the more we focus on cultivating that and creating that consciously, we’re just going to feel like there’s more time in the day and everything functions better and more easefully. So it’s definitely worth it.
Question 4: What tips or affirmations can I use to stop obsessing about my body in a negative way and create the life I want?
Kimberly : All right. Our next question comes from Stacy, who’s in Tampa, which is a place where I have spent a lot of time. I definitely love Florida. I have a house outside of Tampa and I used to go there a lot. Haven’t flown in a while like all of you guys. Actually I was saying to my husband that I think in my adult life, this is actually the longest that I have never flown. I have ever not flown is a better way to put that. It’s been, five, six months. So I have not been to Florida in a while, but I definitely love it. I love the thunderstorms and the sunshine and the alligators and the birds and beaches. So lots of love to you out there, Stacy.
Kimberly : She writes, “What tips or affirmations can I use to stop obsessing about my body in a negative way and create the life I want?” So, I love this question, Stacy. I think most all of us can relate. I can relate. I was very obsessed with my body for a time. And this goes back to our four cornerstones, because we have Four Cornerstones that we’ve outlined for creating a really balanced, beautiful life. They are food, number one. Number two, body. Number three, emotional wellbeing, and number four, spiritual growth. And I always say, I’ll say it time and time again, “If we are not nurturing one or two of those cornerstones, we end up obsessing about the other ones. And usually we obsess about the physical ones that we can see.”
Kimberly : So if we’re obsessing over food and dieting, or if we’re obsessing over our body, like you are, Stacy, it can often mean that we are not nurturing our emotional wellbeing and our spiritual growth. Our spiritual growth is our sense of self. It is where we are so connected to ourselves. We get our safety and security from ourselves, not from other people, not from the outside world, not from government or outside entities that are always growing and shifting and evolving. We get it from ourselves. And when we feel that love and that connection to ourselves, we naturally start to let go of obsessing over our bodies more and more. And that’s what happened with me when I started getting into my spiritual practice and I started meditating and understanding my feelings and understanding triggers and seeing, “I know this doesn’t mean I’m a bad person that’s impatient or snappy. This hurts. It hurts me. It may not hurt other people, but this is related to something that’s happened in my past. This is related to my childhood.”
Kimberly : You start to feel the compassion. You start to feel the love for yourself. And that naturally means that you start to obsess less about your body, because what it means is you’re starting to honor yourself and your uniqueness and your unique light that nobody else has. And when you start to really honor that whole of you, it means that you stop getting so caught up in one little part, which is the shape of your body or the way that this looks or that looks, and you start to live on a much, much bigger, more expanded plane.
Kimberly : So as far as affirmations, well, first of all, I would say, Stacy, make sure that you’re nurturing the emotional and the spiritual side, make sure that you’re taking time, a good practice for you would be journaling, allocate five or 10 minutes a day, and just journal about what you’re feeling, your vulnerabilities, what you’re grateful for. In our online Solluna circle, we have some journal prompts that we put out every month that are just some good ways to think about “What can I draw out of me? What can I write about today?” And you could take some of those or again it could just be as simple as, “What am I feeling? What am I processing?” And that can be really, really helpful. If you have pent up frustration for instance, or you’re not expressing yourself, a way for you to project that is obsessing over your body, because it’s something that you can see and you
Kimberly : And that’s what I used to do. I used to beat myself up so much. I’d think about how fat my thighs were and flabby my arms were, and I used to say all sorts of horrible things to myself. But it’s because I had a lot of frustration. I wasn’t expressing myself. I feel like I wasn’t feeling seen or heard. So when I started dialing that part in, and we can give it to ourselves, you can journal for yourself, spiritually connecting with yourself, go in nature, meditate, like we were talking about with Emma. Connect with your breath, connect with your inner space, your real self. And when you connect with the deeper parts of yourself and your wholeness and who you are, then you don’t obsess as much about the surface, which is just the body. We want to take care of our bodies. We want our bodies to be healthy, of course. It’s the temple that we’re inhabiting right now in this lifetime, but we don’t want to get obsessed. And we don’t want to think our whole worth is what we look like or what our body shape is.
Kimberly : So I will say, Stacy, again, really focus on journaling, processing. Maybe there’s a friend or a community member or someone that you want to partner with and to hold the space for each other in terms of processing and emotions. And then I would also say to meditate, to find the space to connect, maybe go in nature, take a walk, be by yourself sometimes. Just get comfortable being by yourself. And that really, really helps.
Kimberly : And then for an affirmation, I think something as simple as. “I am enough because I’m me.” Something that’s not about your body. Not an affirmation like, “Oh, my body is, I’m thin and beautiful as I am.” Or that can be your affirmation, but I would love to see it even go beyond your body. Your body is one part of you, but it’s not you. It’s not who you are. So, “I am enough because I’m me. I’m good enough because I’m me.” Really tapping into your uniqueness, your power, what we call here true beauty, the beauty of your soul, letting that shine out, and other people will feel that, other people will notice that too. When you really start to tune into your own beauty and your own power, other people do notice it and it becomes very magnetic. So I love this question. Thank you so much, Stacy. I send you a big virtual hug, no matter where you are.
Kimberly : And so Beauties, I love this topic, and I could go on and on, but please keep the questions coming. You can submit them over at mysolluna.com. And there is a podcast section that you can submit your questions on. We’re working towards collecting enough voice texts, where we can hear your guys’ voice and we’ll play that on the show. So soon, you’ll be able to submit your questions with voice, over voice recordings. Looking forward to that.
Thought of the Week
Kimberly : All right, but before we sign off here, guys, we have our quote of the week, and very, very simple, but so important with our topic today, which is, “Lead with your heart.” So when I say lead, lead, take the initiative, lead your day, schedule your day. Think about your day, organize your day, from your heart, from your passion, from what you love, what you want to create space for. Lead with that. Don’t just push it to the side. Don’t just let it be leftovers. If there’s a little bit of little sliver of energy left, muster you can start, sometimes throw a little bit energy this way. No, no. Lead with it. Lead with your heart, define your passions, clarify them, write them down in your journals, and then really start to take the steps. It really is up to you. If you use your focus, it can be small, simple steps, but just get going and lead, lead with that. Make it a part of your life, anchor it in, don’t forget it, keep it alive. And you’ll be amazed at how it’ll start to grow and take hold in your life.
Kimberly : So another quick reminder to check out our new course, right now, it’s called Beauty Inside Out. It’s over on Commune. So again, go to the show notes, mysolluna.com and check out so you can register for the free period, and then you can upgrade if you like, but it is running right now. It’s a very robust course. I think you’ll enjoy it a lot. And, yeah, can’t wait to hear what you think. So thank you, beauties, again so much for tuning in. Sending you all my love. We’ll be back here Monday for our next podcast or solocast episode. Until then take care and so much love.