How Transparent Communication can Heal Trauma with Thomas Hübl [Episode #823]
This week’s topic is: How Transparent Communication can Heal Trauma with Thomas Hübl
I am so excited to have my very special guest, Thomas Hübl, who is a renowned teacher, international facilitator, and author of the new book ATTUNED: Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma—And Our World. Listen in as Thomas shares his thoughts on interdependence and trauma, ancestral healing despite different beliefs, how to break free from global conflict, and so much more!
- Interdependence and trauma…
- The first part of healing triggers…
- What to do when others become the cause of your fear…
- Ancestral healing despite different beliefs…
- Healing trauma without reciprocation…
- How to break free from global conflict…
- When you don’t feel safe in your body…

About Thomas Hübl
Thomas Hübl, PhD, is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator who works within the complexity of systems and cultural change, integrating the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since the early 2000s, he has led large-scale events and courses on the healing of collective trauma, with a special focus on the shared history of Israelis and Germans, and facilitated healing and dialogue around racism, oppression, colonialism, and genocide. He has served as an advisor and guest faculty for universities and organizations, and is currently a visiting scholar at the Wyss Institute at Harvard University. He is the author of Attuned: Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma—and Our World.
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Thomas Hübl’s Interview
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Transcript:
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Kimberly: 00:01 Namaste loves and welcome back to our Monday interview show. This week I’m very excited to share a special conversation that I had with Dr. Thomas Hübl, who is a renowned teacher. He has been leading events and courses on healing collective trauma around the world, and he has a brand new book out called Attuned Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma and Our World. So today we’re going to be talking about transparent communication, feeling sensing what’s in our own bodies, in our own space, how we can better relate to others, and I really enjoyed our conversation. I really enjoyed our book. I learned some new things, so I’m so excited to get into our conversation today.
Fan of the Week
But before we do, as always, I wanted to give a shout out to our fan of the week, and her name is LeanneMarie3, and she writes simple, effective, and efficient advice. Super thankful for this podcast and all of Kimberly’s amazing advice. She keeps holistic wellbeing topics simple, effective, and efficient to implement. It’s so nice to listen to a show in the morning, try one of her tips the same day, and then feel the results that night. Thank you, Kimberly. Wow, LeanneMarie3. This is so wonderful to hear and I love that you broke it down into three words, which really are goals of mine. The words that you mentioned are very much ones that I aspire to for the show, simple, effective, and efficient. Wow. So thank you so much my love. Thank you for your review. Thank you. Part of our being part of our community. It means the world. I am so, so happy and grateful that this is inspiring you and you’re connecting with it as well because everything that I share here is really what has helped me, what resonates, and it just shows how connected we all are and how much we can support each other.
Leave a Review on iTunes
02:12 So thank you so much my love sending you a big virtual hug wherever you happen to be and for your chance to also be shouted out as our fan of the week. Please take a moment out of your day to also leave us a review wherever you listen in on our Feel Good podcast. It could be on Apple, Spotify, wherever. It’s an amazing way to support, and I also encourage you to please subscribe to the show. That way you stay in the flow of our interviews, which are always on Mondays and our q and a shows, which are always on Thursdays. And you can submit questions for the Thursday show that you would like me to cover over on our website, which is my sauna.com.
Kimberly: 02:58 Please also share the show with anyone that you think would benefit back to this idea of sharing, which is so powerful and I believe a big reason that we’re here is service to one another. So it’s a really easy way to share the love, to share knowledge and wisdom with others that could profoundly help them as well. We never know which little bit of information or what is going to spark an insight, a realization in ourselves and in someone else’s life. I will also encourage you with all of these topics that we cover here in the holistic wellness. It really is tied through our four cornerstone philosophy, which is food, body, emotional wellbeing, and spiritual growth. And that is really how I was able to heal my body, my life to feel light and joyful and peaceful, which is something that I didn’t feel for a really long time. I had a lot of anxiety and digestion issues and weight issues and acne and insomnia. And so I’m really passionate about sharing with you how it is the total lifestyle. It’s not just one thing, but the total lifestyle that are going to give you the results you’re looking for. So please check out that page on our website, there’s a starter page for learning about the cornerstones, which we will link to in the show notes. Alright, all that being said, let’s get into our interview today with Dr. Thomas Hübl
Interview with Thomas Hübl
Kimberly: 00:15 Thomas. I’m so excited to speak to you today, and I know you’re in Israel, which is amazing. I love this technology. We can have this live conversation from across the world. Where in Israel are you?
Thomas: 00:27 I’m sitting in Tel Aviv and good to see you. Yeah, I’m happy to be here with you. It’s amazing that we can have this conversation in such a distance.
Kimberly: 00:36 I mentioned to you we had some really special experiences in Jerusalem when we were there, and it was actually the room of the last supper where my husband and I got engaged.
Thomas: 00:49 Amazing. And there
Kimberly: 00:49 Was nobody else there. It’s usually a very popular tourist spot. It was cleared out, so I That’s amazing. Yeah. Oh, the energy there is powerful. Powerful. And speaking of energy, it’s always amazing how we connect. We’re all connected in these fields and energies, and I’ve been working quite closely lately with the Heart Math Institute and we just did a research study together on my heart-based meditation. And then I came across your work, Thomas, in your wonderful book called Attuned Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma and Our World. And I started reading it and it was just really speaking to me in such a profound way with a lot of ideas that I’ve been thinking about and just really considering. And so I just want to start the show by seeing how much I really enjoyed your book, and I think it’s a really important conversation that we have. I wonder if you could break down your subtitle even as we are going here, interdependence and trauma. So now we’re starting to hear more about trauma, whereas we didn’t a decade or so generation ago. So now thankfully this is coming forward. We’re starting to acknowledge there is trauma within us and then as you mentioned in the book and the collective. So can you talk a little bit about interdependence and trauma first?
Interdependence and trauma
Thomas: 02:17 Yes, of course. So I think through relating also attunement when, for example, when we sit here and I feel you and you feel me, and then the more we attune to each other, we create, there’s a natural flow between us. And it doesn’t matter necessarily if you agree or don’t agree on things, the data connection is being established. And so when we feel related, we feel much more how we affect the ecosystem that we are part of, but how much the ecosystem affects us. So we all know, I mean, that’s your profession. We all know that if you constantly eat food that contains poison, it’s not going to be good for your body. I mean, we know that. And so the more of it you eat, the more it’ll affect your body. So that’s a very clear principle of interdependence. The food and our body is not separate, they’re interdependent.
03:20 They belong together because, or the oxygen that we are breathing while we are having this conversation, we wouldn’t have any conversation without oxygen. So the trees and the plants and everything together with this conversation is living in interdependence. And so I was looking at individual ancestral and collective traumas in the book and in the last 20 years of my work, and I saw more and more how actually trauma is the root cause for separation. And when we feel separate in the places, not a hundred percent, but in the places where we feel hurt, when somebody triggers us, when we feel isolated, when we retract, when we become defensive, we feel more separate. And that separation kind of cuts through our natural sense of interdependence. So then we start acting or speaking or doing things that are not anymore in resonance and in alignment with the living matrix with life, with the life in general, with the biosphere, with humanity. So we often recreate pain out of the same separation that pain created in the generations before. So that’s a little bit in a nutshell. I mean there’s so much more to say, but it’s in a nutshell that’s what interdependence I think is. And the reverse is also openness and interdependence, how we support each other, how we flourish with each other, how we grow with each other.
Kimberly: 04:54 Yes, it’s beautiful. You talk about how the fields are always overlapping. We’re always connecting with each other. And one of the things that I wanted to get into was your concept of transparent communication. But going back to what you said, Thomas, if we notice, oh, I’m getting rigid here. There’s a closeness, there’s something that’s triggering me. You talk about first creating this awareness, this spaciousness. Is that, would you say the first part of healing these triggers is even just being aware? Because many of us start to wake up to this idea, wow, there really are traumas here, or there is this sense of closeness, but I don’t know how to get past it. My nervous system is so wired with this sense of separation and I can be aware and I can start to breathe, but how do I really get back into this spaciousness that you talk about?
We discuss the first part of healing these triggers
Thomas: 05:49 Right. I mean, one thing that you also teach, and I also teach many others also, is the study how meditation affects our inner world. So contemplative practices are a way to create more space. One reason for it is also because when we meditate, when we concentrate on our breath or other techniques that help us to relax our nervous system, because trauma creates traumatic stress, it’s excess stress, it’s not even stress that is related to this moment. When you experience something more upsetting this moment, so you get stressed. But trauma is an ongoing higher stress level that runs often unconsciously in our nervous systems and bodies, and we don’t feel it as stress. We just see that we are sometimes very short, very reactive, very triggered, but there’s constant stress in the background, in the background of your computer. There’s always stress running. And then the higher is the stress activation in the body, the more tight we feel because the tighter gets our focus.
07:01 But in meditation, we practice exactly the opposite to calm our nervous system down so that the energy can flow down in the body. And in many healing sessions of trauma that we see in the moment that trauma opens, one movement is relaxing. You always see in the body, the body opens up, you feel more grounded, you feel more here, and then you naturally become more spacious. So of course, when trauma is in my body, the beginning of it is that I become aware. So instead of judging myself for being traumatized, there’s one very important thing that I always say is the trauma response, which is not the trauma, is not the experience, the abuse, the hurt, the neglect that somebody went through. But trauma is what happens in our nervous system accordingly. That’s what we call trauma response. That the trauma response is a super intelligent function in order to protect the human being from worse damage and to help the person to survive better.
08:11 So the fact that we can shut down a tremendous amount of pain helps us and helped us over thousands of years to survive critical situations. The fact that now we have a bubble of shutdown intensity that is desensitized means I need to desensitize a part of my body in that moment, I shut down a part of my emotions in that moment. Maybe I shut down a part of my mental capacity in that moment. That’s why it’s hard for me to concentrate maybe sometimes. So certain functions go to sleep, like an anesthesia with the pain, and then later if that doesn’t get treated right away, it becomes a chronic state. So later we come to yoga classes, we come to places where we study meditation or where we simply want to live our life, and it’s hard for us to feel the body. It’s hard to become flexible because here it’s tight,
Kimberly: 09:07 Hard to breathe. For some people deeply, the diaphragm, there’s this constant, as you said, this tension, this rigidity. Exactly. And this critical part for me, Thomas, was in my own healing journey, first of all, recognizing, wow, most of us have some form of trauma. I have trauma, even though I wouldn’t have used that word. It starts to shift when you said the contemplative idea of turning it on ourselves, because in the past it’s very easy to blame other people, isn’t it? And say for me, it was my ex, the in-laws, I don’t like them, they trigger me, right? Instead of, wow, there’s something in me giving away the power of saying, oh, I have this moodiness around them, or I’m not really myself. I’m not this loving open human. I’m tight and rigid and kind of cold and sometimes gruff, right? So there’s a big shift. I think for me, Thomas, and I think a lot of people when we realize, oh, it’s in me, instead of just saying the other person is the problem. Can you speak a little bit in your work how you would help to bring that forward address that
What to do when others become the cause of your fear
Thomas: 10:16 Yeah, it’s beautiful what you said. So the trauma, the shutdown part also becomes like another, in myself, a part of myself that becomes an it. I cannot feel it. I have tension it in my diaphragm. I have back pain, I have a tension in my lower back, like a muscle tension. I have tight shoulders. All these contractions, they become it ified. And so it says, and even my fears, I want to get rid of my fears. It’s like as if there is an it that is called fears that I can get rid of that’s already a sign that it’s already cut off. It’s already split off my regular experience of my whole self. And so when another person touches that part in me that is already othered, I project that onto the person. Suddenly the person is the cause of my fear, the person is the cause of my discomfort versus, and sometimes they are threatening situations then it’s true.
11:22 But often in daily life, we are scared without any reason. We’re are scared of situation, things that might happen, things that might have happened. And so that othering, and it is great that you speak about it because so much pain is being created through racism, through antisemitism, all kinds of othering processes, othering and political fragmentation. But many of those processes go back to the very origin that there is something split off in me, which helped me in the moment. It happened, but it actually has side effects. And we need to create a culture to take care of the after effects of trauma in order to lead it into integration like digestion, integration and post-traumatic learning. And that’s something that is often, that’s why I also develop this transparent communication. That’s a relational process. Of course, we can do some in ourself, but often we need a compassionate other, like a compassionate person and partner up to trauma therapist or a community where we can heal this together because we begin to feel each other again. We hold spaces, we listen to each other. We create the space that we can drop in slowly together and digest those wounds and integrate those wounds. And I think because often, especially also when people meditate or so when we can’t breathe or when we feel stuck, trauma is designed or one part of trauma is designed not to feel.
13:05 So I need to become a friend of my own internal process of not feeling. So sometimes when we ask people, okay, what’s the emotion that you feel currently? And then some people can immediately say, oh, I feel a bit joy. I feel a bit sadness. I feel a bit fear. But often people that I feel that it means that they’re thinking about what they feel because they can’t really feel it or by ourselves. So if I notice that I can’t name an emotion at any given time, then that’s not the bad thing. That just means that I feel that I’m a bit numb. And then we want to create honoring of the numbness in myself. But sometimes we talk to people that are overwhelmed also, or they’re overwhelmed and we keep talking at them as if their computer was open to process, but actually their emotional systems is already stopped. Shut down. Down. Yeah, shut down.
Kimberly: 14:06 Nothing’s coming in.
14:08 I think too, Thomas, having this experience of meditation when we really get into it and this spaciousness and the stillness that you talk about in your book, for me it was the beginning of really feeling, noticing the contrast when I’m with someone that triggers me because like you said, the stress that’s always playing in the background, these micro moments or times when we don’t even know we shut down to another person and we don’t know what we’re triggered. This awareness starts to say, oh, now I can feel what closeness is. I’m aware of it. And then this itness, this separation, then we can work on integrating it, which is a real process. In some of the sections of your book, you’re talking about ancestral healing and collective. I mean, some of this stuff, Thomas, is very, as almost like cement. We talk about these things that are written and sort of working to almost like massage them, send them out over these relational dialogues and experiences. And so can you tell us a little bit about healing? Let’s start with ancestral. Let’s say everyone in your family has these beliefs, these ideas, these limited beliefs. And then suddenly you start to become aware, this isn’t really what I want, or this isn’t me.
Ancestral healing despite different beliefs
Thomas: 15:29 Exactly. And as we learn to heal traumas through sensing or feeling our body, feeling each other, developing a sensing because thinking and sensing is sense-making. So then what I think and what I feel becomes coherent in my body experience, then the flow through my nervous system, from cognition to emotion to embodiment becomes more of a flow. There’s energy is circulating through my spine. Some data flows up, some data flows downwards the spine. And that’s when we feel, oh, we feel at home. We feel grounded. We feel happy in our body. So the feeling of trauma is recognizing either the traumatic over the hyper stress and then learning how to through spaciousness to regulate it. And also to notice when I become distant, because some people when they’re triggered, they’re not explosive, they’re distant,
Kimberly: 16:35 They disconnect.
Thomas: 16:36 Disconnect, and they’re still in the room. They might still be talking to you, but you don’t feel it anymore as a warm connection.
16:45 And that’s another way of being triggered. And that not feeling like that numbness is an important part because many of us as kids, because we couldn’t just walk away from our core family, if it was not a good time, we needed to shut down our inner world in order to stay in the outer circumstances that we couldn’t really change much. And so when we go to the ancestors, of course, first we know about our ancestors, but the deep ancestral trauma work works that I, and I believe, and I also wrote in the book that our nervous system is not just individual. There’s a part of my nervous system that is individual. There’s a part that is ancestral, that encodes the information of my ancestors. And there’s a part of my nervous system that is collective. That’s the part where I sense and feel, and I’m connected to th
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