Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care [Episode #797]

This week’s topic is: Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care

We hear about the term self-love a lot. It sounds really nice. We all want to have more self-love, confidence, self-respect, and so on. However, in everyday life, it may feel elusive, it may feel fleeting, it may feel ungrounded. And I very much know that feeling myself. Like many of us, I’ve struggled with self-love over the years. There are many tools that I’m excited to share with you today, a whole perspective on self-love that’s really helped it to become a reality in my life.

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Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:

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• The Importance Of Self-Love and Self-Care Practices

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: 00:01 Namaste loves and welcome back to our solocast show, where our topic today is Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care. So we hear about the term self-love a lot. It sounds really nice. We all wanna have more self-love, confidence, self-respect, and so on. But in everyday life, it may feel elusive, it may feel fleeting, it may feel ungrounded. And I very much know that feeling myself. Like many of us, I’ve struggled with self-love over the years. But there are many tools that I’m excited to share with you today, a whole perspective on self-love that’s really helped it to become a reality in my life. So like all of us, there’s going to be ups and downs. I’m not saying that, you know, I’m in this perfect place where I always feel amazing all the time, but I would say that my self-love has grown.

01:06 Mm, 95% more from when it was say, you know, in my teens, which is probably the lowest level of self-love, when I was very confused and I had eating disorders and just so much was happening, I remember so much anxiety. So wherever you happen to be on the scale today around this topic, my intention with this show is to leave you with really practical takeaways for building self-love. So it’s not just this fuzzy idea, we wanna love ourselves, but there’s actually daily practices across all of our cornerstones, rooted in how you eat your body, your emotional wellbeing, and your spiritual growth, so that it starts to build this energy, this inner connection of self-love, which really is a magic nectar that flows through into your relationships, into your interactions, into your health, into your energy, into your creativity, into your work, into your family life. It really infuses everything with a different sort of electricity, shall we say. So I’m very excited to get into our show,

Fan of the Week

02:14 Before we die further in, I wanted to give a shout out to our fan of the week, and her name is Annette 8798, and Annette writes, love this podcast so much good stuff. Kimberly’s thoughts, insights, and experiences are such a bomb of peace for my heart. I love hearing her share from Yogananda’s teachings and other Vedic texts. She’s opened my understanding and taught me so much. I’m forever grateful to her and look forward for all that is to come. Much love, Annette. Oh, Annette, thank you so much

Kimberly: 02:58 For this amazing review. Both of my hands are physically on my heart right now. If you could see me now. And I just feel so much gratitude for you. I am so honored and excited that we’re connected through this podcast, through cyberspace, through this amazing technology, which really does allow us to feel connection across time and space. So thank you so much, Annette. I appreciate you, and I send you so much love wherever you happen to physically be, and for your chance, my love, listening to this to also be shouted out as our fan of the week, please just take 30 seconds out of your day to leave us a review. It could be literally, you know, a sentence or a few words, but it’s just the energy of support, putting your energy into it, putting it back into the show in some way. That means so much. So thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart.

Subscribe and Leave a Review on iTunes

03:54  Wherever you listen to the show, please also be sure to subscribe. This is another practical aspect of self-care, self-love, which is our topic today. You wanna make it easy for yourself to stay inspired and to stay in the flow of wellness and wellbeing. So subscription is a really great way to do that. You never know which interview or which q and a show is really going to have a transformative effect. Could be one little takeaway or one sentence or something that you hear. So staying connected through subscription is a really wonderful practice. Please also share the show with anyone that you think would benefit. It could be through a link, through a screenshot. This is about connection, this is about abundance, this is about sharing, which is what our whole community is founded on.

Waterfall Cleanse

04:46 So I really encourage sharing. And finally, as we’re rolling here into the peak of the light coming into summer solstice, which is such an important energetic time of activation of energy, this is a wonderful time to try our three day holistic waterfall cleanse. You can check it out on our website, my sauna.com. It involves a guided plan with juice and smoothie and elixir recipes. So we’re working with the nutrients, we’re working with nature, we’re working with heat and fire in the elixirs. We’re working with the our amazingly crafted, nature based sauna digestive products, which are all around the totality of you, the harmony, the activation of enzymes, and the rebuilding of your gut. There’s also guided meditations and journaling prompts, a stretch video and more. So check it out because I really encourage you around this time and for the next few weeks, this is a great time to re-clarify your purpose, to shed excess bloat and waste from your body, and just to be able to keep going forward in your life in your highest potential.

Solocast: Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care

Kimberly: 05:57  All right, let’s get into our show today. I am very excited to talk about developing self-love practically through self care. So again, as I mentioned at the top of the show, sometimes we hear these things like wellness and self-love, and it feels nice, the idea, it can also make us feel bad in a sense, if we’re not able to obtain it. If we don’t really get it, it can actually feel a little bit frustrating. And I know for me, there were many years of not really loving myself, and it manifests in obsession, perfectionism, you know, low self-esteem, talking badly to ourselves, things that we don’t always talk about openly out in the world. For me, it was a lot of inner dialogue that was actually quite dark and negative.

07:06 And how it manifested physically was, you know, just speaking badly about myself and having these messages to myself every time I looked in the mirror. And then it culminated in a, you know, sort of a anorexic period into a bulimic period where the lowest of the low. I just remember sitting there with this pot in front of me, making myself throw out feeling this pain in my throat and feeling this shame and this embarrassment. And you know, this is quite visceral. This is quite detailed, but just hiding it underneath the bed until someone, you know, everyone was asleep and, and know no one was there. And then I would flush it down the toilet. And so there was this hiddenness, just this darkness. And so in your life, it may not be as dramatic as that, but I share this with you because whether it’s, you know, beating yourself up, if you lose a co, you know, gain a couple pounds, or you don’t like your body shape or your hair, or you don’t like what you’re, you know, some aspect of your life or you wonder why, you know, you haven’t found a partner yet or whatever it is, I just want you to know that we all feel it iterations of this.

08:25 And this is part of the human experience, and this is part of why I think we’re here to work back towards our knowing, waking up to who we are, which is really what enlightenment is, just getting on the path. We’re not to be fully enlightened, but this is a big step in your real wellbeing. This is a big step in your actual true health when you start to practically approach self-love, not just as a fuzzy concept, but understanding when that when you have self-love, the chemicals, the biochemistry of your body actually shifts. There is less of that reactivity. There’s more of this deep groundedness, which means there’s more coherence. So your body and your brain and your heart and your nervous system and your immune system shifts and changes, your digestion shifts and changes. Everything comes from this more grounded sense of centering yourself within.

09:30 And so this isn’t just an ideal, you know, just a concept like an ideology of like, oh, that sounds nice. It actually is about your potential. It is about living your best life in a very real sense about feeling your best and having less inflammation, biomarkers, having less accelerated aging, all the things that we want. More energy, more radiance, right? So these are some of the things that I talk about also in our new book. You are more than you think you are from a, um, a very spiritual context. But today we’re gonna widen that into more practical daily self-care steps that I would love to share with you. So the first part though, is the awareness of who you really are. And so this whole solo cast is actually inspired of a quote that I posted on social media a few days ago, and I started to think, Hey, this is something that I really wanna dive into because I don’t think people really see it this way sometimes.

10:35 And I think that when my perspective shifted, it really opened the door to so much self-compassion and depth and understanding that it changed everything for me. So the first understanding the de the deepening of our understanding of who we are, because sometimes we attach who we are to this moment of what we look like or what what we’re achieving or what we have achieved, or you know, how much money we have or how many kids we have, or these physical identifications, right? And so we get confused about who we are. And so then we become confused about who we can attach our self-love to. So the first part of the understanding is to really get that there are two parts of us, and the two parts of us are having this integrated parallel experience moment to moment. The two parts of us are this, ener is the first of all, the energetic, the true self. You could call it the soul, the larger self, whatever you wanna say. There’s this energy, and we know this is definitely there. It’s the part of you that is looking through your eyes, like from deep within watching your thoughts. So it’s not, we know it’s not just the thoughts, but this witnessing this energy that’s running through you, right? So that’s the part that is whole. When we talk about being whole and perfect as you are, sometimes you’ve scoffed at it, perhaps I used to and think, hmm, I don’t feel really perfect.

12:21 So that means if we’re thinking about that statement in context of, oh, well I don’t have a perfect face by societal standards, or I don’t have this perfect body, or I don’t have a perfect life, we sort of dismiss that part. But this is where the awareness comes in. The energetic part can’t be added to or taken away from. It’s a energy, right? So it’s sort of like how you, um, turn on the electricity and the wire might look really old and frazzled and maybe a little bit discolored, but the energy inside of the wire is running through, right? So then the second part is the human part of who we are. And this is the body which we all know is shifting and changing and in process all the time. There’s dynamic changes. And then there is, you know, the, the, the part of us, the behavioral part, this is all part of our humanity that isn’t always in perfect alignment with our hearts and with our values.

13:27 We’re stumbling along, we’re growing, sometimes we’re more on in alignment and sometimes we’re not. So it becomes very hard to love ourselves if we correlate who we are with our behavior because that we can beat ourselves up when we raised our voice to our kids or when we, you know, said something mean to our friend or whatever it is. So the first part of real practical self-love is having a grounding, grounded understanding that there are two parts of us, every single one of us. We are not just the soul, we are not just this energy, otherwise we would be in a different realm altogether, right? That’s another conversation. But we’re embodied. We are in a physical body, we can see that we have a density of the bone structure done asti in our Ayurveda. We have fat and tissues and muscles and you know, all sorts of individual characteristics, hair and so on.

14:28 So we have these parts. And so at the same time, we understand the wholeness and the completeness of the energetic part. At the same time, there’s also this becomingness, shall we say, this inpro ness of the human part. And so this allows more room for us to make mistakes and to have our learnings. This makes more room for us to grow and not beat ourselves up. The human part is always gonna be in process, but at the same time, we can see that from the perspective of we can sink in, there is this incredible, unique, priceless energy inside of us. And so you are unique. You are this formless energy too. So we have these two parts. Having this understanding leads us to a different path of self-care. It leads us to a very different path of self-love. So let’s dive now into this holistic self-care from the four cornerstones food-wise.

#1. Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care: Food Cornerstone

15:34 At first, when we’re not connected, or I wanna, let’s phrase it this way, when it comes to food, we want our food in the context of self-love, to honor our personal dignity, the dignity, the respect that each of us is worthy of, because we are all unique individuals having this experience. And so eventually we start to wake up that the food can nourish this energy. We wake up to this preciousness of life. So we can start to look with compassion. Where is the gap between what is really nourishing to me and my self-respect, my self-love, my dignity and my indulgences. So it’s okay to have treats sometimes, but again, for me, I, I recall, this is a very dramatic example, but being on the floor, putting my finger down my throat, making myself throw up in this, you know, this period when I was 16 years old of bulimia, big gap between honoring my own dignity and my approach to food, right?

16:51 And where was that gap? That gap lay in a complete, you know, just a divide of self-connection. No emotional regulation or tools or wellbeing. And a lot of, you know, being left on my own, a lot of isolation. So for me, the gap closed with the self-connection coming back through tools and learnings and just starting to get back on my feet and having more of a support system around me and many things. So that’s a pretty dramatic example. But if you think, you know, where do you know? Do I not uphold the dignity from myself and food? Maybe it’s, you know, just eating a lot of fast food or a lot of takeout, a lot of convenient food which doesn’t have the same energy. We don’t know types of oils, we don’t know the types of people and how they’re cooking it on a mass scale and all sorts of things, right?

17:56 So how do we close that gap? It’s starting to see, well, if I am energy right, which is the truth, and my body is made of this constructed, of this dynamic energy, it’s really important that I feed myself in the most nourishing way. Not all the time, not rigidity, you know, 80% of the time, which allows some time for takeout when we’re busy, sometime for birthday cakes, sometime for chocolate and treats. But a lot of the time, honoring the dignity of me is that I am worthy of fresh whole foods. I’m worthy of eating beautiful foods. I’m worthy of taking some time to prepare simple foods. This is part of my dignity. This is how I’m going to look at food now. So there’s a real self-love element in really making sure that you’re eating well. And practically speaking, you may trade off different nights with a friend or a roommate or your partner for preparing food.

19:04 So it doesn’t always feel like a burden or that it’s weighing you down, right? This is in the context of self-love. We can make practical steps, but the steps are put into place because we actually really honor this. We actually really care and we prioritize it. And then we start to say, okay, if this is a priority, let me look at my schedule. And for many of us, Sunday may be a great day, Sunday and Wednesday, generally great day to go food shopping or go to the market, the, you know, the farmer’s market, whatever it is to stock up maybe, um, perusing some of our easy recipes over@mysauna.com. They are purposely easy. I don’t cook in a complicated way myself, and that’s another level of self-care. Is this sort of all or nothing. It has to be a certain way to be good enough. We can drop the pretense <laugh>, we can say what’s really important here.

20:09 What’s really important is the freshness. What’s really important is the quality of your food. What’s not important is unless you enjoy it, of course, but how complex things are, how many, um, different sauces you can make in a week, you may enjoy it. For me, and this is my, you know, personal bias coming in here a little bit, I love simple, fresh. That’s what tastes the best. I also have a very full life with my kids and my family and my work. So I just don’t want it to be complicated. Otherwise, it starts to get into the realm of taking away from my self-care. So there’s a lot of specifics, there’s a lot of information on our site from other podcasts with Dr. Jay, my Ayurvedic teacher, about seasonal spices. There’s lots of recipes, there’s lots of information on there for more detail, but for now, I wanna leave it at, as you know, think about the dignity of yourself and closing the gap.

21:11 So in the, you know, in the very short term, if we’re feeling imbalanced, that huge plate of french fries may feel like, oh, I’m just being nice to myself. But in the larger sense, the respect of the incredible potential, that’s you, the incredible energy, that’s you, what is the food that’s going to really honor that and honor your dignity? And it is gonna be the fresh, colorful, largely plant-based foods, the natural foods. So how do we close that gap? Use your intuition. See, is it because I’m stressed, so my outlet is food? Is it because I’ve not planned enough, I just haven’t left enough time? Is it that I just, you know, haven’t focused on it or whatever it is I’m emotionally eating. Maybe I need to nourish myself more with some emotional tools. So feel into how do I close the gap between how I’m really eating and honoring my own dignity and see what shows up for you.

#2. Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care: Body Cornerstone

22:16 So the next cornerstone is body. And if we’re really, you know, interested in our self-love, there is also this biochemistry to it. And so we cannot get away from the connection to our gut and to our gut health. And so this is a really central part of our sauna lifestyle. We don’t have a lot of supplements, but we have our digestive triad, our detoxy to cleanse our amazing sbo, um, probiotics, which are based in clinically researched strains and the proper ratios to get through based on nature and really, really create that inner harmony and balance. I’ve tried many probiotics and these are the ones that I feel are the most effective, the ones I stand by. And then our digestive enzymes to help the process this transformation of digestion be more efficient. You’re not depleting your body’s energy more so gut health and gut health focused supplements are really important because when your guts in balance, your neurotransmitters are in balance, you have more of those feel good chemicals.

23:28 There’s more of this communication, the vagus nerve, these, this inner part of you translating to this expression of you through your moods, which influences your words, your interactions, your actions, many, many things. So that’s the first part. And the second part I wanted to talk about is intuitive movement. So self-care and self-love means listening to adjustments that may be necessary through the seasons, as in, wow, it’s really hot and humid. Today I signed up for this hot yoga class, but that just feels so depleting to me right now. I don’t think this is the best thing for me. I’m gonna go for swim instead my neighbor’s pool, right? And it’s really listening to your body because self-love connected, self-love is about connection. So we’re connecting self-care and self-love. They have to be one and the same in order for this to really proliferate in your life.

24:35 So this isn’t about pounding your body saying, well, everybody else is doing this, or I’m feeling a little bit fat today. So even though I just started my period and my body is screaming at me to do yin yoga, I better go and do that boxing class that is not going to ultimately nurture you. And so all of these energies, all of these action steps add up. And I promise you the results actually work out better in the end. If you’d step back and take it from an expanded context. When you’re listening to your heart, when you’re listening to your body, in the end, there’s more, there’s less of these stress chemicals. There’s a balance with your nervous system, it means your body’s less bloated. It just, it just works better, right? So we wanna listen to our body in terms of our exercise. And also for me, sometimes it’s rising up to the needs of the body that maybe didn’t come.

25:38 Well, we just did a podcast, if you listen to my q and a show about the importance of weight-bearing exercise. So it wasn’t something I was drawn to, but then when it was brought to my attention by Dr. Suhas, who was an amazing Ayurvedic doctor, who’s come on the show a couple times, we’ll link to his shows as well. And he said, Hey, for your vata, for your body type, I really recommend weightbearing exercise so you can ground more into yourself and feel more supported mentally and physically. It was like an aha went off in me. It really connected to, to my, my intuition just said, yes, yes, this is right, this is true. And so listening to what is best for my energy, what is, you know, the honoring of my dignity. And so it’s understanding that, hey, you know, we do need to take care of our bone health.

26:34 We do need to build healthy bones over time. And this, this building of, you know, this weight bearing building of our structure can help us feel more grounded in life. So listening to the body, listening, the self-care, the taking time as well for these routines. The morning practices with the hot water, with lemon, the g g s, the SBO probiotics, and then the evening practice with detoxy morning, you know, evening shower. This is some of the things I do. Elixir, warm drink always. And then some time to reflect journal. Sometimes I journal, sometimes I read what I journal, what I journaled about, and I reflect and I add to it a little bit because, and I have just, the more I go on, the more I realize that self-reflection, seeing ourselves more clearly is such a huge part of this puzzle of self-love. We can see when something was a big deal and then we were able to process it ourselves or with, you know, support or whatever. But we see these milestones, which sometimes we don’t always acknowledge. We can see the growth, we can see where we’re being challenged, and then we can bring more support to ourselves. So self-love and introspection are really important here.

#3. Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care: Emotional Wellbeing Cornerstone

27:58 Let’s move to emotional wellbeing. So these are having tools, simple tools in the moment, and community and just being in a supportive space for our emotional regulation. So what I mean by that is paying attention to who you surround yourself with, who’s coming into your life. It could be through texting, through emails, through who’s walking in the front door, who you’re choosing to go on dates with, who’s coming into your social media feeds, right? This is a really important part because we need to create healthy boundaries. We’ve done various shows on being an empath, narcissism, um, just challenges with relatives or in-laws that have a lot of opinions, including about what you should eat, what your children should eat. And it’s important that we honor ourselves as we continue to grow, we become more resilient and anchored and, and maybe we overcome some of these triggers, but if we’re feeling quite sensitive and vulnerable and we’re still in the path of growth, like again, this, this goes back to seeing where we really are.

29:22 It’s important to set healthy boundaries, really important for your emotional regulation. Otherwise, you’re putting yourself into stressful situations, depleted situations, not standing up when a friend is kind of walking all over you and asking for a lot and not really giving much in return, texting you all night, whatever it is. So being aware of your relationships is a huge part of emotional wellbeing, your community. I went to our town commerce council meeting this morning, actually for the first time I took Moses with me or younger. I didn’t think ee my older could sit through it, but it felt really great to me to know the larger community and a lot of people that have lived here in my area far longer than I. And it just felt wonderful. So any way, you know, micro or macro that you can get really involved in your community, what feels good to you.

30:30 Also mentioning here, we have a monthly live zoom for our sauna community, for every, anyone that is a subscriber to any of our products because we really, I really wanna support, um, those of us that are really living this lifestyle and keep that close connection. So that’s something that’s available to you, which you can check out on our website. If you do decide to subscribe, you automatically will get included and invited to these live zooms, which take place every single month. And then also just having these moment to moment tools, I’ll call out a few that have been helpful to me. First is widely recognized. Now just slowing down your breath. If you notice that something’s happening, coming back into your center, pulling your awareness back into yourself to calm down, which could take, you know, some of these neuroscientists say it could be five or 10 seconds, but just coming back online.

31:26 So not putting more energy into that email that really upset you or your screaming child in that moment. Just trying to settle yourself back in is a really powerful moment to moment tool. Being aware of your feet. It sounds funny, this is something I talked about my podcast, um, here, we’ll link to this as well with Dr. Alejandro Ger, where he talked about being aware when he was talking to someone or, you know, whatever he was doing. But also bringing attention to the bottom of his feet, which started to help me in some context of being grounded, right? Being here, the mind starts to wander. If it starts to imagine what ifs or this or that, you can start to really come into this present moment, which is where we can ground ourselves. This is where we make better decisions from less reactivity when we’re here now and that feels so good for self-love. When we can be more proud, there’s this alignment. We’re proud that our words and actions align to our values. They allow, align to who we really wanna be in the, in the world. Self-love grows because our behaviors do start to line Up. And at the same time, we don’t beat ourselves up if we had a bad day or we just got really frustrated because that happens too. But more and more we start to call in these tools that can really help us to align.

#4. Practical Ways to Develop Self-Love through Self-Care: Spiritual Cornerstone

Kimberly: 32:38  So the fourth cornerstone is spiritual growth. And this is where it connects to the first part of our discussion about deepening our understanding of who we are. This is where we’re connecting to that formless energy inside. And this helps to put everything in our life in a different context because we realize that everything that’s happening, everything that we’re doing is not everything. It’s not the whole picture, it’s part of the picture. Everything from, you know, what have I achieved in my career? Or, you know, how much have I saved in the bank account? Or what do I look like today, right?

33:32 All of this stuff doesn’t have to be so serious. We can still, you know, work hard in our job and wanting to create things. We wanna look good and we take care of our skin in all these everyday ways. But when we’re in touch with this energy inside of us at the same time, what it means is it doesn’t have to feel so serious. It doesn’t have to feel so dire. So in this regard as well, we have many different amazing meditations for you that are about, um, under seven minutes or so, 10 minutes, nine minutes. They are, um, where I’ll guide you through. So there’s a lot of resources in all of these self-care practical tips. As I mentioned from the food recipes, the communal aspect. We have wonderful courses like the 30 Day Roadmap for Healthy Weight Loss, to give you guidance and how to best prepare, even use leftovers.

34:28 We have our amazing digestive focus supplements for digestion. We have amazing high performance skincare, many things, many resources, many articles all over on our website, my sauna.com. So I hope this sparked some inspiration around self-care for you. I am always here. I’m also on social media for daily support at _KimberlySnyder. I send you so much love. Please keep your questions coming over at mysolluna.com. There’s also the podcast section you can ask me questions, anything you want me to dive deeper into on these solocasts or q and a show, we will be back here, speaking of which, we’ll be back here for our next q and a show on Thursday. So till then, sending you so much love, so much gratitude. Namaste.