Creating Balance and Building Community Digitally with Schuyler Grant [Episode #479]

This week’s topic is: Creating Balance and Building Community Digitally with Schuyler Grant

I am so excited to have a very special guest, Schuyler Grant, who is a world-renowned yoga teacher, the founder and co-director of Kula Yoga Project and the co-creator of Wanderlust. Listen in as Schuyler shares how she navigates through life pressures and stays true to herself, all while being a boss lady and building a digital community.

[BULLETS]

• Being a boss lady while navigating through life’s ups and downs…
• Bringing people together at Kula and Wanderlust and authentically connecting with people digitally…
• The Genesis of the community…
• Staying true to yourself when building a big community…
• Creating balance with your passion and services…
• Exuding powerful beauty and authentic confidence…
• Coaching children on how to navigate through life’s struggles…

[FEATURED GUESTS]

About Schuyler Grant

Schuyler Grant is an internationally renowned yoga teacher. She is the founder and co-director of Kula Yoga Project, and the co-creator of Wanderlust. She teaches workshop and teacher training regularly at Esalen, Kripalu, the Wanderlust studio in LA and at the Commune property in Topanga Canyon.

Schuyler grew up on a small communal property in Northern California. As soon as she was able, she fled the farm for the mean streets of NYC where she opened the first Kula just 2 blocks north of Ground Zero in 2002, in an effort to help bring some heart and community back to Lower Manhattan. Since then she has created 200- and 300-hour training for both Kula and Wanderlust.  In 2015, she built the yoga program for Wanderlust Hollywood, bringing her back to the West Coast after 25 years in NYC.

Since 2016, she has led Wanderlust’s hugely popular annual 21-Day Yoga Challenges, online yoga courses that have drawn more than 200,000 registrants. Last year she curated a 21-day guide to pregnancy, childbirth and early postpartum for Commune Media called Empowered Birth. She’s a health-food cooking, composting, chicken-raising mother to three daughters, all of whom she birthed at home and partner of the amazing Jeff Krasno for 32 years.

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Schuyler’s Interview

• Schuyler’s Kula Website
• Schuyler Grant Website

Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:

• The Power of Mantras, Heart-Based Yoga (Bhakti) and Community with Govind Das and Radha
• How to Overcome Not Feeling Good Enough and Own Your True Self
• How to Manifest and Create Community with Wanderlust Co-Founder Jeff Krasno
• Advice For Feeling Your Best – Inside and Out!

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly : Hey, Beauties. Welcome back to our Monday interview podcast and I am super excited for our guest today. Her name is Schuyler Grant and she’s a world renowned yoga teacher and one of my personal favorite yoga teachers from back in the day in New York, the founder and co-director of Kula Yoga Project and the co-creator of Wanderlust, which we’ve all heard of. I cannot wait to pick your brain, Schuyler, about building community, about being a boss lady, about being an amazing mother of three girls.

Fan Of The Week

Kimberly : Before we jump in, I want to give a quick shout out to our Fan of the Week. Her name is emmp1301. She writes, “This woman is incredible. Such a wealth of knowledge that I apply to my everyday life, diet and wellbeing. I love, love, love you, KS.” emmp1301, I love you too. Thank you so much for being part of our community. Sending you a big virtual hug no matter where you are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your review.

Share The Podcast & Write A Review on Itunes

Kimberly : Beauties, for your chance to also get shouted out as the fan of the week, please just take a moment out of your day and leave us a review on iTunes, which is free and easy and a really great way to support the show so other Beauties like yourself find this information and hopefully it really benefits their lives. While you’re at it, please be sure to click the subscribe button and that way you don’t miss out on any of these amazing Monday interviews or our Thursday Q&A podcasts. All right.

Interview with Schuyler Grant

Kimberly : All that being said, I’m looking at the lovely Schuyler who could be a million miles away, but she’s on the other side of Topanga Canyon. Hi, Schuyler.

Schuyler: We could almost be doing this in person, but then we’d be interviewing with masks which would suck. It would be almost worse than being on screens together. [crosstalk 00:01:51]

Being a boss lady while navigating through life’s ups and downs

Kimberly : Schuyler, one of my favorite memories of you was when your youngest daughter was just born. You came back to teach. I came to one of your amazing, sweaty, challenging, inspiring yoga classes in the evening and went down for Shavasana, popped back up to close and I opened my eyes and I saw you breastfeeding your child in the front of our class, just like a yoga goddess, no nursing coverage, just unapologetically there and it was so powerful and potent. I remember it to this day. It was a real power mama moment. It was a real boss lady moment. It was a real just, “Hey, this is natural and this is what’s happening right now.” And everybody couldn’t help but respect it.

Schuyler: It’s so funny when you think back on moments like that and it’s so A. cute that you remember and funny and sweet that you’d call it a boss lady moment because I’m sure in that moment, probably I had Jen or my studio manager or somebody was out in the lobby bouncing my kid around and then she was crying and I could hear, I was trying to teach a class and it was the end of class. Everything was quiet and you’re trying to front, like you’re keeping it together as a teacher but really you’re hearing your kid. Waah, waah. I’m sure I shut you guys all down in Shavasana. In my brain I’m like, “This is such a mess. Everything’s falling apart. My life is in shatters.” Then I am very practical about that and I have no issues about breastfeeding anywhere.

Schuyler: I used to always breastfeed, just straight up on the subway all the time. If I would get glares, I’d be like, “Yeah, I’m feeding my baby. You were lucky. You were lucky if you got fed on the tit.” But I’m sure that I probably grabbed the kid and then I was, for me, I was just being efficient. I was not feeling like I was being a boss lady. I was just feeling like I was a hag show and I was trying to keep it together. But I hope I inspired you to do some public nursing and share the love of the incredible opportunity to teach people that nursing children, especially even when they’re two, is a beautiful and awesome offering. I think I have always felt like there’s a bit of just living your politics. I believe in nursing.

Schuyler: I think it’s really important. I think the more you show positive images of nursing, the more people might, some people might see it and be offended, but other people might see it and be like, “Huh, wow that kid has teeth but they’re still nursing and that actually looks really sweet.” Maybe there’s nothing wrong with nursing a 10 year old. No. I don’t nurse a 10 year old in public.

Kimberly : A four or five year old, yeah. He goes on for it.

Schuyler: I did nurse my kids ’til they were probably four. One self-weaned when she was two and a half. Two, two and a half. Just not interested. But the others I just let them self-wean.

Kimberly : I love that.

Schuyler: They were four and five.

Kimberly : I love that.

Schuyler: We just got kittens, baby little kittens and I still have this impulsiveness. Just like, “I want this little baby kid to latch on. What’s wrong with me?” Not trying [crosstalk 00:06:13].

Kimberly : And keep [crosstalk 00:06:14]. Very primal, very primal.

Schuyler: Very primal.

Bringing people together at Kula and Wanderlust and authentically connecting with people digitally

Kimberly : Schuyler, when I first started going to Kula, it was the Tribeca one. I know there’s different studios now, but I was really struck by the… It didn’t feel like a normal yoga studio. It felt like a real community and people were so connected to it and the classes were amazing but people would hang out and there was this vibe. As you and hubby created Wanderlust, which isn’t it the biggest wellness gathering in the world or one of the biggest wellness gatherings? [crosstalk 00:06:48]

Schuyler: Yes, it was. Yes, before people stop gathering. Yes, it is probably. It’s certainly the biggest yoga-oriented gathering and probably not the biggest wellness gathering. There must be gatherings of 50000 people in India and in other places. But certainly from a Western perspective, I think it probably is the biggest. Now our whole summer season is shut down and everything where are our center in LA is shuttered. I’m sure they’re shuttered in Austin and everywhere else, too. So the future of these big gatherings is in flux like everything else at this moment. But yes, we’ve been about, both Jeff and I and our business partner Sean in Wanderlust, have been about bringing people together in real time in small groups like at Kula and in massive groups like at the Wanderlust festivals for the last 20 years for me.

Kimberly : 20 years.

Schuyler: Kula is almost 20. My first baby is almost 20. This is a very strange moment to be hunkered down and not in the business of bringing people together in real time and figuring out how to most authentically connect people digitally, which is, it’s actually pretty good now because it’s all we’ve got and-

Kimberly : Yes. Better than nothing.

Schuyler: Better than nothing. Exactly. I’ve really chafed against starting an online platform for Kula. We’ve thought about it and talked about it. Obviously people have come at us for years and I’ve been tempted in some ways and it’s certainly a way to monetize your business, but I’m not ever very good at monetizing things and I just haven’t been attracted to that kind of exchange, teacher to screen to people’s isolated home practice space. As practical as it is and as nice as it is to send your teaching out to a wider platform and to bring people great teachers like we have at Kula to anywhere from Omaha to Canada and Europe and places where you would never ever travel necessarily.

Schuyler: But I’ve really resisted it. Then just by necessity we got together with some guys who were starting a brand new streaming platform right around the time that COVID hit. They were wonderful to work with and really creative and helped us who are a bunch of Luddite yoga teachers to get our act together really quickly. These nice three guys at Union who are building a platform at lightning speed right now. We started streaming a couple classes a day pretty much right away, Nicky and I, my business partner there. Then we.

Schuyler: We started Kula it was in-

The Genesis of the community

Kimberly: Yes. I want to go back to that. I want to go back to the Genesis of the community. Because it seems like as you’ve transitioned, the heart is still there. People are still attracted to it.

Schuyler: Yeah, I mean we started 100% with the intention of being a community space. So it was really not a business notion in there.

Kimberly: Interesting.

Schuyler: And 9/11 happened in, obviously, September 11th of 2001. And Jeff and his business partner Sean had their offices downtown like three blocks from the World Trade Center site. And I was editing documentaries at that time and teaching one yoga class a week like zero intention of being a full time yoga teacher, certainly not of running yoga studios. And then after 9/11 we have this outpouring of desire to serve. What can we do? What [inaudible 00:01:02] for my city?

Schuyler: What can I do? And as a film editor, I didn’t feel like I had a whole lot to offer but this yoga studio where I was at was in its own moment of flux. And so I thought, let’s just get some teachers together and start a little tiny space downtown where there’s nothing and you can get a space for $2,500 and just offer classes where people can come together and breathe and move and get a whole bunch of really good air purifiers and make the air as good as we can. And-

Kimberly: So it really started from a place of service.

Schuyler: It did.

Kimberly: You never thought, “Oh, here’s a way to monetize this or that.” It came with that intention?

Schuyler: Right. I mean, full disclosure, it’s never been a good business. It’s always been an incredibly successful endeavor and community space and church of a sort but it’s never been a good business. And I’ve never particularly cared because I’ve managed to make a living in other ways. And there was a time when it supported us a bit, like the third to seventh year around, when yoga was still really new and there weren’t a whole lot of yoga studios and we were really just cranking. There was one space. But it’s never been motivated by making a living. And that’s a lucky position to be in because as soon as you’re having to really worry about the bottom line for a spiritual mind, body practice, that conflict is just, it’s so wrong. And we all live in the real world. And that’s not to say that you don’t have to run a smart business.

Schuyler: It doesn’t mean that you’re not having to go to the department of buildings and deal with crap. And you’re dealing with payroll and there’s all the very real world concerns that you’re taking on by opening any size space, whether it’s the grandiose level of Wanderlust Hollywood, which is an insane lift or Kula, which is still quite up humble endeavor. But I really believe that if you don’t keep your business model lean enough to be able to be relaxed about how you conduct your business, if you are in the business of trying to heal people physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever the methodology is, whether it’s yoga or medicine or psychotherapy or Qigong or whatever it is, any of us who are endeavoring to heal ourselves, heal the people we teach, heal the community, heal the world. If we are stressed as [crosstalk 00:04:05] a lot, there’s always stresses. But if the undergirding of the endeavor is a financial stress, it’s doomed to failure. Or-

Kimberly: It changes your decisions, yes.

Schuyler: Absolutely. It changes your decisions and it changes the way that you… you can’t operate from a place of sharing because you’re grasping. And if you’re grasping on a business level, on a financial level, as evolved as you might be, as good as your intentions might be, you just don’t have a clean relationship to it. Again-

Staying true to yourself when building a big community

Kimberly: So what would you say Schuyler to someone that looks, from the outside, looks at you and says, “Okay, well, Kula was this yoga studio,” but then you’ve gone to create these massive festivals which are very financially successful, built on these community ideals. How did you translate that in a… I’m sure there was stress along the way, but how were you able to stay true to yourself and build such a big community?

Schuyler: I mean, I just have to bake a major correction there to the notion that I built Wanderlust because I didn’t. I mean, I was in the very lucky position of being able to be the creative in that endeavor. And the business of building Wanderlust was 99% Jeff and Sean. And they ran that business and I got to come in and have ideas and curate the way the wellness part of it especially the yoga and meditation piece of it would look and feel. But I wasn’t having to run and scale the business of it. And to be totally honest, I would never have done it. I mean-

Kimberly: Well, Schuyler I think you’re very humble, but I’ve seen Kula. I feel that there’s this energy you bring. Sure, maybe you’re not doing the ins and outs of the book work, but you’re sculpting the culture. You’re sculpting something that people are really attracted to.

Schuyler: Yeah. Well, that’s where I’m saying, I was in the lucky position of being able to be the creative. And that’s not always… with Kula I was also the business person behind it but that’s the level of business push that I’ve got in me. And everybody’s different that way. And I talk to so many yoga teachers who feel that the next step is to open a studio. You get to a certain point and you’re like, “I’m running around teaching 19 classes a week. I’m fried, I’m at the end of my rope. This is not sustainable.” And it’s probably not. I mean, you want to eventually have a family or have some stability and not be running yourself ragged if you want to stay in love with the practice. Operating that way, at your wit’s end is not the way to stay in love with what you’re teaching. And so people will very often come to me and say, “Well, how do you start a festival? How do you start a yoga [inaudible 00:07:08]”

Kimberly: Yes.

Schuyler: And I’m a little bit of a Debbie Downer. And I’m often will say, “Well, you know what? Sometimes it’s not the worst idea to just not quit your day job and to teach something that you love as an offering instead of as your primary source of income.” Then if you feel like that’s all, I mean, the fire is burning under your ass so hot that you must make it a full time endeavor, you have to start some kind of a business. Well then, okay, then you listen and you figure it out and there’s all kinds of ways in. We’re in a very different culture now, obviously, where being an influencer and having a huge social media presence and the brand alignments you can make through that world create a whole different culture, which is not my culture and not at all my strength and I can’t really offer any wisdom on that.

Schuyler: But I do, obviously, am around it and I know all about it and I see the pluses and minuses. But I think it’s not dissimilar to the advice that people give to actors, which is like, if you have this great desire to be a singer and any kind of a performer, which is another one of those fields that’s oversaturated and unstable and wonderful and full of opportunity and creativity, but also there’s a high degree of burnout and failure, as it were. So, I mean, I think it’s kind of the same advice. If you don’t have to be a singer as a career and you want to be a singer for your passion and to go out and sing at your local open mic and then also be a therapist or a farmer or whatever. If you have another calling and you could do these things in harmonious tandem, I think that’s the sweet spot.

Schuyler: And that being said, there are places that are crying out for community spaces that don’t have the heart of their communities, smaller towns, rural areas. Places where your [inaudible 00:09:28] and the load, the financial load that you take on as a business owner are so much less and so much more reasonable where if you have a calling to be a community leader, really what you’re doing is you’re starting a church. No one starts a church thinking that they’re going to get rich. And luckily the government recognizes it and gives you… you don’t have to pay taxes, which is, I guess, might be my next thing if I wanted to have a offering it would be to try and get, what is it? C013, whatever, something status for small yoga studios. I mean, really I do feel like there should be some kind of tax exemption for places that are offering up true [inaudible 00:10:13] community spaces who’s bottom line is very, very marginal.

Kimberly: Well, Schuyler with Kula-

Schuyler: I think people look at the wellness world and think that because it’s booming, it’s booming with money. And it’s just not. I’m here to tell you being a part of two very successful brands, they don’t make any money. Wanderlust doesn’t make any money. I’m here to tell you. It’s an amazing, amazing experience. Those festivals are produced and created with so much beauty and creativity and attention to detail. And they’re like putting on a Broadway musical on a mountaintop. It’s an incredible experience and it’s an incredible lift, but it’s terrible business. And-

Creating balance with your passion and services

Kimberly: Thank you for being real because I think people need to hear that. But there’s so many different ways to be successful and when I see you in your element and what you’ve created, I’ve seen you at Kula. Everybody there feels really great. And the balance of you being passionate about creating community space and running the business, the hard parts, firing people, hiring people. Did you feel that your level of passion and service started to dim or if not, how did you keep that going when you were trying to create that balance?

Schuyler: That’s a great question. I mean, I would say that… this really is advice for anybody who’s thinking of starting any kind of a business, not just a wellness business. But if you’re interested in starting some kind of a small boutique foods business or anything where you’re not trying to become a Big Box, but what you really want is a sustainable business that brings in enough income to support you or support half of a family is probably, always, the golden spot. Not if you’re a single mother or father it’s that much harder. But if you have moderate expectations of what you want to earn and the idea of actually making quote unquote real money would be icing on the cake. If what the aspiration is creating a sustainable business, I think the key is getting very, very honest about what your core competencies are, and what you’re really good at, what you want to do, and then what’s you’re willing to.

Schuyler: Like, nobody likes to do payroll. But are you kind of good with spreadsheets and you don’t really mind, so much kind of geeking out on Excel for five hours a week or whatever. You just get really clear with, you love to teach or you love to make vegan brownies or whatever it is that. What’s the love, how much are you able to do and still love it? You might love making 40 batches of vegan brownies a week, but if you have to make 140 do you want to fucking throw your oven out your kitchen? How much is that-

Kimberly: That’s the game change.

Schuyler: How do you kill your love for your business, your passion business? Well, it’s really easy to do. Now, for me, I knew that I didn’t want to teach more than eight classes a week and that my sweet spot was like four, which isn’t very many. I always knew that I didn’t want to do privates. I didn’t want to come around and teach 18 to 20 classes. I looked at the yoga teachers around me who were doing that, I was like, “That looks like a nightmare. That looks like I’m just going to squeeze all the love that I have for this practice right down the toilet.” And it would have. So for me, opening the business was a great solve. Because at first, I was teaching way too many classes, but I knew that as soon as we were at all up and running, I was going to hire up and I was just going to teach four. And that’s what I did.

Schuyler: After about year one, four classes a week was my max. But then I was doing a bunch of other stuff including cleaning the toilet and going out and sourcing the stained glass window for this. Things that I love to do actually. I’m pretty handy with a drill doing some weird [crosstalk 00:14:48]. So I think being really honest about how much of the things you love, you can do and still keep the low burn on your love, what the things you’re willing to do and then find a partner or partners who are in it with you. I mean, okay great. If you’ve got angel investors, fine. But there’s nothing like a person or people who are going to put their shoulder behind it with you.

Schuyler: And I don’t know. When I first opened Kula I thought it would be, I was like, “Kind of a solo flyer. I don’t want other people tussling with me to make decisions.” And then somebody said, “Get a partner. I know you, you don’t want to be in this all alone, just get yourself a partner.” And my-

Kimberly: Different strengths.

Schuyler: Different strengths, totally. And that’s the key, is like don’t necessarily do it with your BFF. It sounds like a good idea maybe and all the better if you guys have really, really sympathetic competencies but you probably don’t because you maybe love each other so much because you have so much in common that actually doesn’t translate so well to business. And I happen to be incredibly lucky because my business partner now, Nikki Vilella, is an incredible compliment to me, but also an amazing teacher. One of the best teachers I know. But we tandem very, very well and we’re able to both take on some of the shitty stuff and it’s worked out quite brilliantly.

Schuyler: But my first partner Tal, was all about doing the business part. And he was really just totally willing. He was much younger than me and he was a beginner teacher, so he was happy to really be the superstructure there. And it was a genius partnership. It was so wonderful and productive. My two pieces of advice are pretty simple. It’s like, be modest. Don’t live way above your means. Don’t shoot out your credit card. Grow at a moderate pace and get a good partner or partners.

Exuding powerful beauty and authentic confidence

Kimberly: I love that. Very practical. Now Schuyler, switching gears for a moment, I love watching you on the screen. I’ve always been drawn to your classes. One thing I have to say here in our community, we use this word true beauty. We talk about beauty from the inside out. Something that’s built from how you eat, how you live, how you take care of your body, emotional wellbeing, mental health and spiritual growth. And I have to say, and not just saying this Schuyler, but you really exude this powerful beauty. It’s really authentic confidence. And you’ll have great skin, but you also don’t care. You don’t wear makeup, you’re very natural. But in your tiny, I think you’re shorter than me. I’m 5’4″, how tall are you?

Schuyler: I’m 5’5″, woman. I tower over you.

Kimberly: But you’re this petite woman with a very powerful presence. And you could-

Schuyler: You’re making me blush.

Kimberly: We get so many questions about building confidence and feeling good about ourselves. And you have three daughters, which I love. So have you always been this confident? Were you raised this way to feel good about yourself or how did you develop such as strength that people feel it when you’re around? I’m sure beauties, you can feel it listening to this.

Schuyler: Thank you Kimberly-

Kimberly: And I really want to hear [inaudible 00:18:29] I’m not just trying to kiss your ass.

Schuyler: That’s really so sweet, because guess what? I’m turning fucking 50 next week. And I’m a little bit freaking out. [inaudible 00:18:39] Thank you. I’ll take it. You know what? You might just have to come over to the Canyon and drink a stiff shot of tequila with me.

Kimberly: I will underneath the mask. Or watered down [inaudible 00:18:51] so pregnant.

Schuyler: We’ll give you an IV of tequila. Well, that is very sweet. I do have to give the biggest props to my mom. And I will say that I feel a great debt to my mother for her strength and her total unashamedness in her being a woman and not ever having to make herself anything other than she was. I mean, she’s a big hippie and she’s even more of a hippie than me and wears even less makeup than me. But I never grew up with any body shame or feeling that there was anything wrong with getting old gracefully. I mean, my mom would like… she’d never shaved her legs much less considered Botox or any like that. So-

Kimberly: She never colored her hair.

Schuyler: Yeah. Oh my God. No. I mean, she was quite beautiful. And now she’s quite old and wrinkled and really doesn’t care. I mean, and it’s not to say that she doesn’t have vanities and it’s not that I don’t have vanities. I mean, I’m very aware of my changing self and my withering skin and sometimes I’ll look down at the skin on my chest and my neck and I’m appalled. But overall she gave me just a real deep sense of the fact that we aren’t this outside shell. And we play with that self and it’s fun sometimes to be vain, to play in the physical, that’s our plumage.

Schuyler: And we’re an animal and all animals… we’re peacocks sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with a certain amount of vanity as long as it doesn’t make you feel small. And so how do we find the space where we preen enough but where it doesn’t diminish our feelings of self worth. And we all have insecurities and I have plenty of them but I can really only attribute my deep sense of self acceptance to what my parents gave me. And I feel tremendously for people and especially women who didn’t have a mother who gave them a deep sense of security. And-

Kimberly: Yes. Which is more common rather than the way they [inaudible 00:21:33] Yes.

Schuyler: Absolutely. So many of us are demeaned and diminished by our parents. And it’s so heartbreaking. And I see that and it breaks my heart for humanity how our parents don’t love us up. And that doesn’t mean spoiling and it certainly comes from lineages of like being loved themselves. But I do know speaking from my own experience that my parents came from very difficult parents. They both [inaudible 00:22:13] complicated relationships with their parents. Parents who are punitive and withholding and physically abusive in one case and certainly emotionally abusive in the other. And my parents in the best iteration of the ’60s ethos were like, “We are breaking with that. We are breaking the lineage of familial withholding.” And they just gave to us as children, emotionally. And there was love [crosstalk 00:22:49]

Kimberly: Was there a spiritual practice? Did they teach you to be with yourself? Did they teach you to meditate?

Schuyler: Not really, no. I mean, they meditated themselves and they have their own kind of wackadoodle yoga and meditation practice which is very strong but not at all Orthodox looking. But, no. It was really just like you don’t let your kids off the hook by giving them unconditional love. It’s just like unconditional love and then high expectations.

Coaching children on how to navigate through life’s struggles

Kimberly: So how do you navigate, now Schuyler, having,… you said, Phoebe I think is 15 and Lawley is almost a teenager. And seeing them struggle with… or being really focused on looks. And now girls have to grow up with Instagram and all these image conscious things and starting to want to wear revealing clothes or all these different things that we all through as teenage girls. How do you coach them through that? Do you try to push them [inaudible 00:23:51]

Schuyler: It’s so funny. I don’t really worry about it too much. And if you saw my 15 year old’s Instagram page, many of you listening would be like, “That mother needs to have her head checked. Somebody’s got to put her clothes on.” I mean, it’s appalling. Jeff and I look at it and we’re like, “Jesus Christ, this is embarrassment. We hope nobody we know and respect looks at this Instagram page.” I mean, it’s soft core porn almost, it’s ridiculous. And she’s gorgeous and it’s bathing suits. It’s like Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Frankly, I find it very tasteless, but who cares? You know what I mean? I believe that we’ve loved her up so well. She has unconditional love. And so she’s putting on this costume right now. And she’s going through all of her stuff and my other kids are going through their stuff, but I don’t worry about them.

Schuyler: I really don’t. I mean, [crosstalk 00:25:00] of course I worry about them. I mean, at 3:00 AM, if my haven’t heard from my daughter, I’m so terrified and I have total insomnia and I’m worried that she’s chopped up in a bag, in a ditch. I mean, the worst things come through your mind, are you kidding? But the worries are real. But underlying all of it, I really do trust that they… I trust that they have a strong foundation of unconditional love, I trust that. And I know that we have been flawed but excellent parents. And we did put the time in as busy as we’ve been. And as frazzled as we’ve been, as fractured as our parenting has been at times, they do know that they have our uncompromising support as well as very high expectations.

Schuyler: And so, I guess, at the end of the day, it’s so much as out of our hands. When you were a teenager, the shit that you did and the shit you saw your friends doing and it had so-

Kimberly: Terrifying as a parent.

Schuyler: It’s terrifying. Oh my God, it is. It’s terrifying but it’s also, I think you just have to be ready to trust until there comes a time when perhaps things have gone too far. And I have plenty of friends where this has happened. And then you have to be ready to like, okay, well what are your boundaries? And then where are going to lay down the law. And that time, it might happen. Hasn’t happened yet though we’ve ridden the rails on it a few times. But underneath, I mean, there’s-

Kimberly: You’re trusting the phases. Schuyler, did you go through that? Because again, I see a woman who’s very confident. Did you experiment with, “Oh, I’m taking their sexuality and the makeup and all that?”

Schuyler: Yeah, a little bit. I mean, a little bit. I was never like a really sexy girl, but I definitely did my fair share of experimenting with drugs and doing bad stuff. But my parents didn’t give me a whole lot to really rebel against. So it was like running up against a padded wall. And I do think kids want boundaries. It’s not that parenting should be some kind of wide open platform. My parents had high expectations of us, but it was like they were really soft, malleable guardrails. And that’s what I’m trying for. It’s all the [inaudible 00:27:47] and all of our kids are their own people coming in with their own shit that they’re working through. And I’m trying to ride that middle path. That tricky middle path, which is, it’s so trite, but that’s what all of our practices, all the yoga, all the meditation, all lineages at the end of the day, how do we find that middle path? And that’s not easy.

Kimberly: Well, I think, go back to the yoga teachings of being rather than doing and being a really powerful embodiment of love and confidence. And even though they struggle, they’re having that role model. And I think that is the best thing we can do as parents because we can’t control everything. And I’m learning that at the toddler stage with Emerson, he’s starting to be that, “Oh, no mama.” Hearing no for the first time, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, what happened to my baby?”

Schuyler: Right. I better have another one that’s going to love me unconditionally and the most.

Kimberly: [inaudible 00:28:58]. Your glowing green smoothie drinking son asking for, he called them lollipops. These coconut ice cream lollipops. Asking for that for breakfast. I said, “No. But you’re my perfect little eater.”

Schuyler: [inaudible 00:29:12] so bad it’s not a hostess stinky yet. Wait till he learns about Sour Patch Kids.

Kimberly: Schuyler, I could talk to you all day. I really [crosstalk 00:29:27] toddlers [inaudible 00:29:29] I love this woman. She’s been in my life now, I think Schuyler, for 12 years. And I loved Kula. It was one of the things I miss the most when I left New York. So I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing online classes. Beauties, if you have time to do some yoga right now, check out their website. It’s kulayoga.com. I’m also going to link to it in the show notes. Schuylergrant.com is Schuyler’s website as well. And Schuyler, thank you again so much for being with us.

Schuyler: Thank you Kimberly. So much love and good luck with your birth. I can’t wait to see how it all goes.

Kimberly: I [inaudible 00:30:10] skip over to the other side of the Canyon when we’re not social distancing.

Schuyler: Yeah, yeah. We’ll have that shot of tequila very soon.

Kimberly: Beauties, thank you for tuning in and check out our show notes at [inaudible 00:30:24] com we’ll be back here Thursday for our next Q and A podcast. Until then, take care and so much love. Yay, Schuyler. Thank you. Thank you.