Click above to watch my VLOG – How to Love Yourself More [VLOG #57], or feel free to read the transcript below instead!
Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.
Today, we’re going to talk about ways to really and truly love yourself more, right where you are. Without having to change anything else externally. This is really the ultimate way to feel good, to feel light and happy and peaceful in your life as-is.
This is really the goal for all of us, whether we’re trying to go about it in this way with a new relationship, or trying to lose weight. What we’re really trying to get to is feeling good.
We’ve all heard this idea of loving ourselves more, but it’s not always the easiest to accomplish. It can seem a little bit fuzzy, esoteric, like, how do I really do that? Today I want to talk about some very solid ways to start loving yourself with some practices. It will start to seep in a little bit, and a little bit more over time.
I know this from personal experience because I have not truly loved myself for a lot of my life. I totally beat up my body to the point where I had eating disorders. I would criticize myself every time I looked in the mirror.
This is something I talk about really for the first time in my new book, Recipes For Your Perfectly Imperfect Life, which I’m so honored and grateful to share with you. It’s pre-selling now, so you can check it out.
How To Approach Food
This is my most personal book about how did I get to the point where I had so much self-abuse and self-doubt and body shame to get past that. There’s a lot more detail in the book, but the first thing I’ll say is that healing had to start with how I was approaching food and how I was putting it into my body.
I had to relearn how to feed myself because I had come from a place of calorie counting and eating tiny amounts of food and feeling guilty if I ate more.
I think it’s really important to take at least three to five recipes that become your staples and that you feel very comfortable with, and comfortable making. You have the ingredients around lots of the time. We do have to get fresh produce, and whether these ingredients have quinoa or lentils or gluten-free wraps, you can keep them in the freezer for whenever you need that last minute ingredient.
Taking all the thinking out and learning to make different variations of recipes you’re very comfortable with is also a very important way to start loving yourself with that care. Helping to get out of calorie counting and into whole foods, and just really nourishing for your body, is huge.
If you need more support, too, we have our 30-day Road Map, which is a really comprehensive program which walks you through with videos, meal planning, and recipes. We have a sale going until January 1st, so you can check that out as well. That’s a really great way to get on a nice, clear schedule.
Learning To Forgive Yourself
I talk about guilt, and that’s one of the most detrimental things, hands-down, I think energetically, that we all have to deal with. This idea of forgiveness has to start with yourself. We can’t really love ourselves if we are withholding love from ourselves. If we’re angry about eating that cupcake or some action we took, or messing up a job, or messing up a relationship.
We’re all on this journey. We’re all learning. We’re all perfectly imperfect. We’re doing our best where we are. The point is we continue to learn, we go forward, we take a step, we continue to grow, and it’s really important that we don’t stay mired in the past.
We have to forgive ourselves, which may seem like a radical idea. It was for me. I had so many things I was angry at myself about, I didn’t like about myself. Huge topic here, but basically being in this moment, and if anything comes up just practicing breathing in, letting go, and say, “I forgive myself and I am forgiven,” or whatever mantra works for you.
Forgiveness is a huge energy that should become a mantra for all of us in 2019, because that is a huge part of loving ourselves, letting go of the past, doing our best in the moment. Guilt and not forgiving also keeps us in the past, as I mentioned, so it takes our power out of the now.
Fostering More Love
We want to get into whole foods, we want to forgive ourselves, and we want to surround ourselves with loving people. I think that’s important if we want to foster more love, people that are able to hold space for us and listen and we can listen to them.
I’m into women’s circles here in LA. I’m in two different mom’s groups. I sought this out myself. It’s a different energy than the energy I had from groups of friends that I love as well. However, there’s something really nice about the collective with like-minded goals that feels really supportive to me and has helped me express myself.
I think I had some blockages in my throat chakra when it came to my personal life and my personal feelings, so being able to express and find those like-minded groups goes a long way in us feeling comfortable with ourselves and loving ourselves.
Feel Good Circle Community
If you would like to create that like-minded group, and you’re not finding it in your community, or even if you are, I invite you with all my heart to join us in the Feel Good Circle. I am there, I am with you guys. It’s themes and videos, journal prompts, audios every week, a private Facebook group where we really share and support each other and hold space.
That can be a really great way to honor yourself and to give yourself time to reflect and meditate, journal and share . That’s a beautiful form of self-care.