How To Be Centered with Tracee Stanley [Episode #551]
This week’s topic is: How To be Centered with Tracee Stanley
I am so excited to have my very special guest, Tracee Stanley, who is anauthor and radiance advocate on a mission to help people explore their birthright to deep rest and awakened clarity that comes from the spiritual practice of Yoga Nidra. Listen in as Tracee shares a very deep form of restorative yoga called yoga nidra, about coming back to our balance and how to come back to our center.
How to tune into rest and move past having to do more…
Differentiating between the idea of this sleep to be more productive and true rejuvenation, true rest…
What yoga nidra entails…
Getting past any mental blocks of letting go…
How long is the yoga nidra practice and how often it should be practiced…
Tracee shares what her biggest differences she’s noticed in her life using yoga nidra…
How to integrate all that showing up in all that we want to create…
About Tracee Stanley
Tracee Stanley specializes in yoga nidra, which is centered in deep restorative rest, which she immediately recognized as a healing salve for the world. She left her high-stress career as a Hollywood film producer to delve deeper into the study of the practices that were empowering and rejuvenating her, so she could share them with others. With over 20 years of experience practicing and teaching in the Himalayan Tradition, Tantra and Sri Vidya, she travels extensively to offer yoga nidra, meditation, self-inquiry, teacher training and workshops. Radiant Rest is her first book.
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Kimberly: 00:06 Hey Beauties. Welcome back to our Monday interview podcast, where our special guest today is named Tracee Stanley. She has written the book, Radiant Rest, and she is an amazing energy and yoga teacher. She specializes in yoga nidra, which is a very deep form of restorative yoga. She has so much wisdom to teach us about coming back to balance, coming back to our center.
Fan of the Week
Kimberly: 00:33 What a wonderful interview, but before we get going, I want to give a quick shout out today to our Fan of the Week. Our fan of the week this week is named Mad1mee. She writes, “This podcast changed my life. I have been struggling for 20 years with bloating, and since becoming a loyal listener of The Feel Good Podcast, I learned to naturally and holistically conquer this issue. I appreciate how candid Kimberly is on the subject of bloating and poop. I purchased her book and will be purchasing the Solluna products too.” Amazing, Mad1mee. Thank you so much for being part of our community. I appreciate you so much, I send you a big virtual hug. I’m glad that your bloating is doing better, which of course is no fun for any of us. Thank you, thank you, and so much love.
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Kimberly: 01:24 Beauties, for your chance to also be shouted out as the fan of the week, please just take a moment out of your day and leave us a review on iTunes, which is free and easy and just a great way to support the show. Also, be sure to subscribe to our show and that way you don’t miss out on any of these interview podcasts or our Thursday Q and A community podcasts. All right, all that being said, let’s get right into our interview today with Tracee Stanley.
Interview: How To Be Centered with Tracee Stanley
Kimberly : 00:43 Tracy, it’s so great to have you on. I know we used to be neighbors here in Los Angeles. I actually ran into your husband [inaudible 00:00:52] talking and it turns out it’s small world and here we are talking on our podcast.
Tracee: 00:58 Yeah, it’s great. It’s great. It is a small world and I miss the mountain over in Topanga, but I’m also happy to be in Santa Fe right now.
Kimberly : 01:08 Oh, yes. I’m sure it’s a lovely there. Well, the first thing that struck me about your work, Tracy, and what you do is this idea of really helping us tune into rest. We live in this world that I feel is so yang. It so much values, production and doing and more doing. And there’s this huge trend about … I get sent a lot of books about being more productive with your time and getting up even earlier … it’s like the 3:00 AM miracle … and cramming more and more in. But I think as we see in society, there is a lot of busy-ness. There is a lot of that, but people still feel pretty disconnected. There’s a lot of anxiety. There’s just a lot out there.
How to tune into rest and move past having to do more
Kimberly : 01:55 Tell us about, first of all, what would you say to someone who says, “I can’t rest more. I have to do more. I have to fight to keep up”? First of all, to the person listening that thinks, “That sounds nice, but I just can’t possibly do it,” what would you say?
Tracee: 02:10 It’s a great question. It sounds really counterintuitive to think that rest actually can make you more productive.
Kimberly : 02:18 Yes.
Tracee: 02:19 But it’s true. And what I would say to that is really, the fact that you feel like you have to keep doing is the thing that is making you exhausted. And when you’re exhausted, you can’t be clear and you can’t be sharp and find the shortcuts because there’s a lot of confusion and fogginess of the mind.
Tracee: 02:43 The other thing is that we have to really dig a little bit deeper and I think ask ourselves, why do we feel like we need to keep doing, right? Because value in this society is connected to your productivity. And I experienced this myself because I had a career for 20 years as a film producer, and your value was based on how many projects that you were able to juggle at one time. And it was a very common thing that people would walk into your office and say, “Oh, what are you working on today?” And if you couldn’t list the litany of things that you were working on and all the things that you had to do and how you weren’t going to go to sleep until 1:00 in the morning and how you had to get up early, it really felt like, “Well, you’re not worth anything.”
Tracee: 03:34 And so I think we need to start to unwind that thinking and the culture that tells us that we have to keep going all the time because we find ourselves in places of being ill when that happens. And so this idea of practicing this ancient practice of yoga nidra, that really is a spiritual practice. It really is a full system of yoga. It just so happens that the fragrance that stays with you after the practice is over is this deep, deep feeling of being rested and rejuvenated.
Kimberly : 04:10 Wow. Well, Tracy, there’s a lot I want to talk about with yoga nidra next, but first to say, when you were talking about this society, I think it goes back, too, to our ancestors because I think about my experience, and my mother is an immigrant from the Philippines and she came from poverty basically. And so there was this, “We have to survive.” Doing was favored. At certain times it was necessary in our ancestors’ lineage perhaps. It’s ingrained in us that doing will help us survive. It will keep us alive. It will keep us going.
Kimberly : 04:49 And I remember as a little girl, my mom would finish every bite off my plate because of this idea that you don’t waste. There’s [inaudible 00:04:59] grasping on. I feel that’s part of what I was brought up with was this doing was rewarded and something that was seen as a positive thing to constantly get the A pluses and to be the best student and to do all this. It’s hard to unwind it when we grow up in different circumstances. I wasn’t raised in poverty, but I’ve inherited it from that line, so the ancestral stuff can feel really deep.
Tracee: 05:28 Yes. And so let’s go all the way, all the way back. Our original ancestors had no fabricated sources of light. And so their days, they were connected to the earth. They were connected to the cycles of the earth and the rhythms of the sun. And when the sun went down, that meant that it was time to go to sleep or when sun was going down, maybe you were hunting, whatever it was, but we were connected to those cycles.
Tracee: 05:59 And so I feel like with the invention of the light bulb, that’s the thing that started to really extend the workday. And then we can also talk about how people were enslaved and people came here as immigrants and they came here as the workforce, right? And so there wasn’t this choice of how you were going to live. It was that you had to work in order to live and perhaps your life was even in jeopardy if you even thought about the moment of rest.
Kimberly : 06:34 Right, right, exactly.
Tracee: 06:35 You were literally worked to death, especially if you were an enslaved person or you were an immigrant and you were trying to come here to do something to get the American dream, right, is really based in this idea of you’re going to work, work, work, work, work so hard to get something. I totally hear you. And I think that that intergenerational … I’m going to call it trauma because that’s what it is.
Kimberly : 07:07 Totally.
Tracee: 07:08 We don’t allow ourselves to rest. That is passed down from generation to generation. And there’s different studies that have been done around epigenetics and how these dramas are passed down. I think for us today, it’s not even just the simple question of, “What can I do to rest more?” It’s really to start to look deeper into what messages did you get from your parents about, is it safe to rest? What message did you get from society? Is it safe for you to close your eyes and lie down in a vulnerable position, whether that’s trauma from this lifetime or from another lifetime?
Differentiating between the idea of sleep to be more productive and true rejuvenation, true rest
Kimberly : 07:55 Tracy, when you’re talking about rest, it feels very soothing. And in our society, everything seems to get so muddled, interwoven with this production part. It reminds me sometimes, I’ve had some biohackers and then they’d look at sleep and rest as another thing to biohack and they’re using the cold sheets and they’re manipulating all sorts of things in the environment, but it’s more to be productive. It’s not rest for resting. Can you differentiate a little bit this idea of sleep to be more productive in true rejuvenation, true rest?
Tracee: 08:33 Oh, thank you for asking that question, because a lot of times I see people trying to use some spiritual practices as a way to hack something. And that comes from this thing that we have that we always have to extract something. We always have to do … Even in the resting, I’m still going to do something. I’m still going to try to extract something. Well-
Kimberly : 08:59 Squeeze as much out as possible.
Tracee: 09:00 Yeah. It’s like, all you need to do is surrender and let go. And then when you start to surrender, these things will start to bubble up, whether it’s thoughts or fears or the gripping, and then you have to inquire into what is the source of that. That’s where the true freedom lies. And there’s a reciprocal relationship between you receiving rest and then you being grateful for that rest. And that’s where the beauty and the magic comes in. And the thing that I feel like with the hacking a lot of times is we’re so interested in taking that we don’t observe the transitions, right, the transitions between waking, dreaming, sleeping. We just glide right over them because we’re too busy. We’re in the doing. And that’s where the power is.
Kimberly : 10:04 The transitions, Tracy, and also just in the being as this is the natural way. It’s almost like there has to be something better. It almost comes from this, “I’m not enough so everything has to be more and more and more.” And even if we look at, not hacking so much, but this over-efforting, if you will, in the yoga world. I tell people now, my practice is meditation. My main yoga practice is meditation. I used to do a lot of asanas, but since becoming a mom, it’s just if I have any time to move, I want to go outside and go for a walk. My practice has shifted and people think, “Huh.” They don’t think about yoga and meditation, even though we know there’s so much more than the physical awesomeness. And especially here in LA, you see yoga or these sweaty classes where you’re working out, you’re getting great abs. When you talk about yoga nidra and it’s just full rest yoga, you’re probably having to recondition people’s ideas from that part of yoga, too.
Tracee: 11:04 Yeah. It’s really interesting. I feel like during the pandemic, the main message that I started getting from students who were very asana-based was that they were realizing that the asana they were doing was not working for them. And they were seeking out meditation and they were seeking out yoga nidra because in the stillness of the pandemic of being forced to be inside and also being forced into a global transition where we were really faced with having to fit in the transition, because we are still in the unknown, right, that they started to recognize that they needed to cultivate the ability to be still and that in that stillness, they were recognizing that, “Oh my God, I don’t have a lot that I’m doing right now, but I’m exhausted and I didn’t realize the level of exhaustion that I have.”
Kimberly : 12:04 Wow.
Tracee: 12:06 I really do feel for me personally, because I used to teach those classes. I used to teach [crosstalk 00:12:14] yoga, Vinyasa, all the handstands, all the this and that. Luckily I had a teacher and a lineage that really prioritized meditation and prioritized yoga nidra. I had all those components and the eight limbs of yoga were very prevalent. And as my life started to change and I started to get older and my practice started to deepen, I started to move more towards the quieter practices of yoga, like meditation and yoga nidra. And it’s not to say that I’m not still strong and that I couldn’t just pop up into a handstand. It’s like, I also know that my power comes from stillness and from being rested.
Kimberly : 13:02 Yes. And someone said something to me once, “Just because you can do asana doesn’t mean you have to do it.”
Tracee: 13:09 That’s right.
What yoga nidra entails
Kimberly : 13:10 And so tell us about yoga nidra for anyone listening that doesn’t really know what that fully entails. We may know Shavasana, we may know meditation, but tell us about yoga nidra, specifically, Tracy, in your practice.
Tracee: 13:25 Yeah. Yoga nidra is … It translates as the yoga of sleep. And so people may have heard about it, yoga of sleep or the sleep of the yogis, but it’s also, the word nidra comes from two words, ni meaning void and drew, meaning to draw forth.
Kimberly : 13:47 Beautiful.
Tracee: 13:49 When we think about that, we think about, oh, this is a little bit of a deeper practice than doing some sort of a yoga nap. This is a practice that we think about as a technique, but it really is a state of consciousness. Yoga nidra is a state of consciousness that is very similar, if not the same as Somadi, and we know that Somadi has nine different levels, right? And so if we think about the fact that this practice of yoga nidra that has done lying on your back, where someone is guiding you to systematically relax your body, to observe your breath and to eventually become sensitive to prana, and then allow yourself to surrender to the point where you can effortlessly follow prana back to its source.
Tracee: 14:42 That is the practice of yoga nidra and that fourth state, which is known as Turiya or we could talk about Somadi, that place, where we’re getting close, or yoga nidra’s kind of like the portal into those places, we can’t really describe them. We only know what it feels like when we come back from that place. And we move through the brainwave state. Some of the people who have mastered the state of yoga nidra are said to be able to move into the delta state while being completely awake and aware.
Tracee: 15:19 And so that’s what yoga nidra asks us to do. It asks us to observe all the transitions, to allow our body to fall asleep, our physical body, to allow our mind to release and let go, but to let our consciousness stay awake and aware. And at the ultimate level, it’s a practice of dissolution. It’s a practice of what’s called [inaudible 00:15:43] yoga. And so it’s subtracting everything that is not us.
Kimberly : 15:51 Wow.
Tracee: 15:51 We’re letting go of everything that’s not us so that we can be with the true nature of who we really are and what we really are.
Kimberly : 15:59 It sounds like when Ramana Maharshi was in his uncle’s basement in [inaudible 00:16:05]. He’s 16, and he said he just died and then he said, “Who am I? Because I’m still here in this body, so who am I really?”
Tracee: 16:13 That’s right.
Getting past any mental blocks of letting go
Kimberly : 16:14 [crosstalk 00:16:14] Tracy, the people that have difficulty though sitting in meditation and the monkey mind just going and going, do you think yoga nidra is easier to get past because you’re talking through and you’re relaxed, or do you think like meditation, it’s a practice, it takes time and effort to get past the mental blocks of control and difficulty letting go?
Tracee: 16:35 That’s a really great question. And I can only answer from my own experience and teaching and what I’ve observed with people who’ve come to my classes is that they find yoga nidra much more accessible because it’s done in a comfortable, supported, supine position where the body can just release and let go. A lot of times in meditation for people, the first barrier to moving deeper into their practice is the body. It’s like the knees hurt or the back hurts or they can’t sit up for too long. And so that’s the first thing that starts to cause a distraction.
Tracee: 17:15 I think because we already have an association with sleep and the fact that we deeply need rest, there seems to be less of a resistance, first off, to wanting to lie down to do the practice of yoga nidra, and then because you are being guided, I find that people find it more accessible. It can also be done in other positions if there’s trauma or if people feel more comfortable with eyes open or sitting in a reclined position. It doesn’t always have to be done lying down. And I also think that people surprisingly, even when they’ve only done yoga nidra for the first time, they seem to have deep experiences into definitely deep relaxation and resting and sometimes other deeper experiences of meditation than a lot of times people seem to have the first time they’re meditating.
Can you overcome negative behaviors, habits, addictions, just by being in that space
Kimberly : 18:17 Interesting. And what we were talking about, this idea of rest and centering, feels like to me going back to this space of pure potentiality without forcing or the mind going … It seems like this is the place where one can come up with ideas and solutions. And also, have you seen in your work, Tracy, people being able to overcome perhaps very negative behaviors, habits, addictions, just by being in that space, not necessarily having to talk through specifically, but in a larger potentiality space, if you will?
Tracee: 18:56 100%. I mean, it also being a practice of disillusion, it’s the ultimate practice of Pratyahara, which a lot of times we identify or describe as being the withdrawal of the senses. But it’s also described as the reassimilation into oneself, withdrawing the census. It is the practice of removing everything so that you can be in your true essence. And yes, so for me, the most important thing after practice, because I know a lot of people don’t like to journal, right, but-
Kimberly : 19:34 I love journaling.
Tracee: 19:37 … is to really just right after the practice, just free write for three minutes, without stopping, not worrying about grammar and not worrying about spelling, just free write. [inaudible 00:19:51] therapeutic and helpful for people, because first of all, you’re able to receive the wisdom that is available in that infinite, fertile void that you’re visiting, so you’re talking about that pure potentiality. You’re able to capture it because how many times have we done practice or maybe even been on a run and you have this genius idea that by the time you get home, it’s gone, right?
Tracee: 20:19 This allows us to be able to practice this idea of [inaudible 00:20:24] , which is the practice of retention or memory. It also allows us to process the emotions and the thoughts that might have come forward. And if you’re working with a therapist, it’s great because then you can go back to the notes of your practice for the week and share them with the person that you’re working with. It is very helpful for all kinds healing, and I really believe that this practice is a practice of healing, as all yoga is or has the potential to be.
How long is the yoga nidra practice and how often it should be practiced
Kimberly : 20:54 And how long is the actual practice, Tracy? And do you recommend doing it every day or twice a day? What’s the pattern?
Tracee: 21:02 Well, there’s many different lengths of practices and the recommended time is somewhere around 20 minutes or so, because that allows you to really allow your nervous system to drop into parasympathetic where you’re in the rest and digest. For beginners, I would definitely say start with a 15 or 20 minute practice. You can do it first thing in the morning. You can do it in the afternoon. You can do it before you go to sleep. And if you really want to see the effects, I would say dedicate yourself to seven days of doing it every single day and journaling every single day after. And then after the seventh day decide, “Am I getting a benefit? Am I feeling healed? Am I feeling rested from this practice?” And if you do, then make the commitment to finish up the 21 days and then I can guarantee you life will be much different after 21 days.
Kimberly : 22:03 Well, speaking of which, Tracy, your energy is so grounded and you’re so calm. Are you like this all the time? I mean, tell us the truth. As people [crosstalk 00:22:14]. I mean, are there times … You’re human still. Harvey, who I met, your husband, do you get annoyed? Do you ever [crosstalk 00:22:22]?
Tracee: 22:22 Of course, of course.
Kimberly : 22:26 [crosstalk 00:22:26] Hey, please tell me you’re human too.
Tracee: 22:29 Of course. Yeah. I get aggravated, yeah, all the things. We have to be able to embrace all the emotions, right?
Kimberly : 22:39 Yes. We’re human and we’re divine at the same time.
Tracee: 22:42 Absolutely.
Kimberly : 22:44 [inaudible 00:22:44] consistently doing the yoga nidra and now you guide yourself through, I imagine.
Tracee: 22:49 Yeah, self-guiding. Yeah.
Tracee shares what her biggest differences she’s noticed in her life using yoga nidra
Kimberly : 22:50 You’re in it every day. You’re practicing it. What are the biggest differences you’ve noticed in your life?
Tracee: 22:58 Well, we talked about this idea of being awake and aware during the practice, even though it’s the practice of deep rest and sleep. I feel like my awareness is much more attuned to transition, to prana, to energy. My dream life is much more vivid. I’ve definitely been experiencing a lot of lucid dreaming and I feel just more grounded and centered. I’ve been doing this practice for over 20 years and I just feel like it is a salve. And at the end of the day, the other definition of yoga nidra is yoga nidra is a goddess.
Kimberly : 23:45 Wow.
Tracee: 23:46 And she is the goddess that offers us deep sleep and she’s the goddess of repose, as you’ve talked about in some of those sacred texts. My relationship with the goddess, not necessarily as a personified being, but as nature herself and how she shows up in all her form has really allowed me to have a deeper relationship with myself, with my ancestors and reclaim parts of myself that I didn’t know were lost.
Kimberly : 24:26 Wow. Wow. That is so beautiful, Tracy. I feel that too, the acknowledgement, the reclaiming, the ancestral part is so important for us to really heal and to become whole. And lastly, Tracy, I could talk to you all day. I love hearing your soothing wisdom, but because our world is so focused on production and we talked about the hackers a little bit, and there’s also some people in the manifestation space that talk about you can create anything, you can do anything, anything, anything.
Kimberly : 24:59 And then there’s this idea of, more the Michael Singer, The Surrender Experiment Book, where we go with life’s flow. And I think that’s really hard for some people to integrate in this world is the yoga concept of surrender and we still have the will, yoga [crosstalk 00:25:16] talks about having a dynamic will and then there’s, “I’ll do whatever I want.”
How to integrate all that showing up in all that we want to create
Kimberly : 25:20 How, Tracy, do you see us merging … You’re coming from this deep rest and integrating with nature and, “Here’s what’s showing up and here’s my intention.” You talked about your dream life. How do we integrate all that showing up in all that we want to create?
Tracee: 25:36 That is such a great question. There’s a teaching around the four aims of life, right? And the [inaudible 00:25:45] and these aims of pleasure, of prosperity, of Dharma and of freedom. And it’s said that the soul comes in wanting all of those aims or all of those desires to be fulfilled. And so it’s both and, right? It’s like yes, we have to surrender and we need to understand how to rest, but we’re human. And so because we’re human, we also have desire.
Kimberly : 26:17 Yes.
Tracee: 26:18 And I think that there is a way … There’s sankalpa. Sankalpa’s a very powerful thing that can be worked with in the process of deep relaxation as a way to empower desires and to manifest things. And I think it’s really all about the approach and how, for me, it needs to reciprocal. If you approach it in an extractive way, I think that it becomes unproductive in the end. But if you approach it in a way that you are devoted to your practice and in that devotion, you’re planting the seed of your desire, from that, your desire can manifest.
Tracee: 27:05 And I certainly have worked with … One of my first teachers was Rod Stryker, who wrote the book, The Four Desires. And that book is all about really manifestation, but it’s also about looking at the root of your desires and making sure that the true desire that you have is actually a heartfelt desire that is in alignment with your Dharma.
Kimberly : 27:32 Right, and the greater good.
Tracee: 27:34 And the greater good, right? Our universal Dharma is to love, give and serve, but we all come here with some sort of individual Dharma. And so we need to know that and we need to make sure that our intentions and the things that we want to manifest are not keeping us in a loop of suffering. This goes back to the self-inquiry, right, of you have to inquire into what is the root of this desire? Is it serving me, or is it keeping me in the loop of suffering?
Kimberly : 28:08 That’s right. That’s right. Because if we don’t step back, then we just become so identified and muddled that we don’t really have that space to see. Wow.
Tracee: 28:19 That’s right. Yeah.
Kimberly : 28:21 Tracy, thank you so much for joining us today. I’m just blown away by your energy and I love just talking to you and hearing your perspective. Where can we find out more about you? I know your first book is just pre-selling now. So exciting. Radiant Rest. Tell us-
Tracee: 28:41 Yes, yeah, so Radiant Rest is available everywhere books are sold. Shambala is doing a special on the book now for 30% off. You can use the code RR30 on shambala.com. You can find out more about me at tracyyoga.com. And I have a five day program on Commune on deep relaxation and yoga nidra. And I believe it’s free for 14 days if you want to check it out, if you haven’t ever done anything on Commune yet. There’s lots of ways to find me.
Kimberly : 29:16 Well, we’ll link to that, Tracy. I actually have a course on Commune as well.
Tracee: 29:19 I know, I saw your course.
Kimberly : 29:21 Yes [inaudible 00:29:23]. we’ll link to all of Tracy’s information in the show notes. Also, how to directly get her book, which I can’t wait to read. Congratulations.
Tracee: 29:32 Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s been an honor to be on your show today.
Kimberly : 29:37 Thank you so much, Tracy. All the best.
Kimberly: 01:53 Okay, my loves. I hope you enjoyed our interview today with Tracee as much as I did. She’s such a beautiful, wise soul. Remember to head over to our show notes and mysolluna.com to get any information on Tracee, her links, her book, Radiant Rest, as well as links to other podcasts and resources I think you’ll enjoy. We’ll be back here Thursday for our next Q and A podcast, till then. Take great care of yourself. See you over on the site or on Instagram, @_KimberlySnyder, and sending you lots and lots of love.