5 Practical Ways to Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year [Episode #852]

This week’s topic is: 5 Practical Ways to Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year

Happy New Year! As we’re still basking in the glow, the excitement, the vitality that comes around this time of year, the freshness, the rebirthing, and also some fears that come up. I think for a lot of us, there are many different kinds of fear. The fear of failure, especially the pressure of the new year, losing weight, getting all your goals accomplished, or whatever it is. There’s not enoughness. Fear of not feeling worthy or the habitual fear that has come in has been brought back from the past.

Today’s show is to help you shed this heavy, dense energy that holds you back in infinite ways in your life and moving away from these old tendencies that can really overshadow the light if you’re not aware. And so while we can feel good about setting goals and intentions and all of that, we also want to make sure that we are clearing and have practical ways of dealing with fear as well.

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[Question Answered]

Olivia – California

Kimberly, I find myself sometimes being stuck in a feeling of fear about so many aspects of my life. What can I do to navigate when I feel this way?

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Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:

• How to Find Real Safety in a Fear-Based World for Better Health
• Fear and How to Tap into Your Own Courageousness
• Your Guide Towards Overcoming Your Fears
• 3 Ways to Move Past Fear and Listen to Your Intuition

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: 00:00 Now day loves and welcome back to our Thursday q and A Show. Happy New. You can still say that for a while, and we’re still basking in the glow, the excitement, the vitality that comes around this time of year, the freshness, the rebirthing, and also some fears come up. And I think for a lot of us, there are many different kinds of fears as we’ll get into today. There may be the fear of failure, especially the pressure of, oh, it’s the new year, time to lose weight, time to get all your goals accomplished, or whatever it is. There’s not enoughness fear or fear of maybe I’m not really worthy or I would say the normal, but the patterned fear, the habitual, the normalized fear that has come in has been brought back from the past, back from 2023 and earlier. So this week for our Q and A show, I really wanted to focus on 5 Practical Ways To Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year so that you can shed this heavy, dense energy that holds us back in infinite ways in our life.

01:13 It holds us back from our dreams, our goals, creating what we want on a professional level. On a personal level, it causes us to self-sabotage, romantic relationships. It causes us to go into stress eating and emotional eating at times. It causes us to have irregular, ands, inefficient digestion. Fear literally drains energy from our bodies and our GI tracts and creates bloatedness. There’s so many ways in which fear holds us back. So a few days ago I did a solo cast, and if you didn’t check it out, please do about practical ways to live in alignment with your values for the new year. I consider that a really beautiful partner show for today, because that will set the foundation. That’s a very positive, here’s what we want, but the shadow side of that, right? So Luna is the sun and the moon. We have to look to the darkness is that we need to move away fear.

02:14 We need to move away these old tendencies that can really overshadow the light if we aren’t aware, if we don’t look. And so while we can feel good about setting goals and intentions and all of that, we want to make sure that we’re clearing and we have practical ways of dealing with fear as well. This strong energy, which I think comes up in infinite forms for all of us so that we don’t get held back. So as always, little reminder before we go deeper in that the show notes for this very show are on my sauna, that’s S-O-L-L-U-N a.com. I encourage you to lean on the website as a practical resource to support

Kimberly: 02:58 You this year and beyond. There are recipes. There are so many ways to help you set up a holistic wellness lifestyle. There are practices, there are elixir recipes and meditations and journaling exercises and articles and other podcasts I think you would enjoy. So please check it out and let that also be a living support system for you as well.

Question around the topic of: 5 Practical Ways To Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year: Kimberly, I find myself sometimes being stuck in a feeling of fear about so many aspects of my life. What can I do to navigate when I feel this way? 

Alright, let’s get into our show today. Our question comes from Olivia, who lives in California. Olivia, sending you so much love. My California sister where I am part of the time, and you write Kimberly. I find myself sometimes being stuck in a feeling of fear about so many aspects of my life. What do I do when I feel this way?

03:48 I think that fear is one of the things that sometimes we talk about, sometimes we don’t. And when we don’t talk about it or we’re not creating that awareness, our decisions can be driven by fear, and this is across all of the cornerstones. Let’s use a food example. We can become fearful that we are getting old or we are not looking the right way. We are not hot enough or fit enough to get a partner or to keep a partner or whatever it is, whatever fears come up. And this can drive us into eating in a really unhealthy way, eating in a very restrictive way, eating in a way that is not nourishing or balancing to our gut, cutting out carbs altogether, for instance, or getting hypervigilant about ing everything that we’re eating. So we don’t enjoy food, right? There’s so many ways fear shows up or we feel fearful that we’ll never find the right person.

04:52 So we start to go into a spiral of self-doubt and darkness, and we start to not feel really good about ourselves. I have a lot of friends that I see kind of going down this rabbit hole right now, unfortunately, and they’re beautiful and amazing and they’re not able to find someone on the online dating apps or life right now, and I can see it affecting their self-esteem, fear’s coming in. What’s wrong with me, right? There’s fear around, oh, maybe I won’t be successful in my project, or I won’t be able to pay for my lifestyle. I won’t be able to go on vacation. I’m fearful that a loved one will get a disease or I will get some horrible disease or something bad’s going to happen, whatever it is. When I’m saying these, you may have specific fears that come up for you or maybe just that general feeling of fear.

05:47 And you are definitely not alone here. There’s so much research around fear, and I just want to touch on this a little bit because I don’t think we need so much research to realize the aliveness if we’re being really honest with ourselves in our own life. I feel fear come up. I think it’s a normal human experience, and I’ve gotten past a lot of fears and then familiar fears come up, old fears come up. And so I really want to share with you some of the ways that I think are the most effective ways for dealing with fears after we get past some of this research. So there’s a lot of, I mean there’s so much here I started to dig in a little bit, but there’s topics around self-esteem. There’s the general fears, there’s societal expectations where we fear that we don’t measure up.

06:41 We’re not going to get that house with the two cars and the kids in the way that society thinks we are. We’re going to look be pinned as a loser by our schoolmates or work colleagues or relatives or whatever it is. I think that the Journal of Family and Economic Issues, for instance, demonstrated a link between financial stress and poor mental health outcomes. Fear and worry over finances was correlated with mental challenges and illnesses like depression and anxiety. And so there’s a lot of fear. I mean, there’s a lot of complexity in life in certain ways about paying for all these things and how’s this going to work out? And we get into our heads and then we can literally make ourselves sick. And depression and anxiety or just physical challenges for one example, they very much affect our ways in which our bodily health, our physical health, our manifested our day-to-day experience, our sleep levels, our hormonal levels. I mean, it’s also deeply interrelated.

07:56 So Journal of Clinical Cases shows that fomo, another type of fear, fear of missing out, which I believe is connected to the fear that we’re not worthy, we don’t belong, we’re not included. It has a detrimental effect on physical and mental health. Our mood swings, feelings of loneliness, feelings that were inferior, feelings that we no confidence, self-esteem, extreme social anxiety, low levels of negativity and depression. So it goes on and on. Another research article from the American Psychology Association, this was a study back in 1993, found that there are personality and family patterns that play a big role in fear and the fear that gets passed down to us intergenerationally from family members, from caregivers, caretakers, can influence our personality traits. And there’s even this imposter syndrome. We’re not really worthy, we don’t belong, we’re not good enough for this. This can inform. This is important for awareness.

09:06 When we can see, oh, this is something that was passed to me. I don’t really believe in this. This isn’t really true. Back to our show on Monday about living in accordance with our values. A lot of these fear-based thoughts don’t really line up with what we truly value and believe on the deepest level. If believe in the divine, if we believe that we’re all equal as I do, if we believe that we all come from divine intelligence and therefore by virtue of that we are all whole and complete, then it would then say that all these fears around inferiority and lack really aren’t valid. But what happens with fear is that it takes over and it skews our perspective. So I’ll link to some of this research in the show notes. And of course if you just go down that rabbit hole, there’s a lot.

10:02 The overarching summary here is that fear is pervasive. Fear holds us back. Fear affects our physical health. It affects our day-to-day experience. And it doesn’t breathe the light and love and energy that is in accordance with the new year. We don’t want fear to take over.

#1. 5 Practical Ways to Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year: To see the fear and create an awareness

So first part here, first practical way to get past fear is to see it, to create an awareness of it and to not run away from it. So when Teddy Roosevelt said, we have nothing to fear, but fear itself, it’s such a time honored off repeated statement, but it really is true that it’s the energy of fear that creates a lot of the issues. So we want to be aware and feel what fear feels like in the first place because otherwise if we’re not aware of it, we don’t want to see it. We gloss over it, we go back to our patterns, which could be let’s distract.

11:03 Let’s watch a movie, let’s eat something, let’s go have a drink at the bar. We want to really see it and understand that fear has joined me now. And the more we do this, the more we don’t have to be afraid of it. We can create that awareness. The awareness is key. What does this feel like in my body? So there’s a section actually very right at the beginning of the book, of my last book. If you haven’t read it yet, you are more than you think you are about being fearless in your life. And we can’t be fearless unless we face the fear. And that means confronting the energy or being aware of the energy. So there’ll be an energy in your body that you can start to feel. For me, it’s a tightening sensation across my abdomen and even this hollowness in my heart.

11:50 So I feel it physically. And we wanted to create is a link into saying, oh, there’s fear. There’s a fear-based response. Something triggered me, something in my nervous system is wired. So that that statement or something I saw is bringing up this intense or varying level of fear right? Now that is a practical way to get past the fear is first we have to be aware. It sounds basic, but is it basic? I would say no. Because once we start to master understanding it, instead of projecting out, it’s easy to say, this person’s a problem. They made me feel scared. They made this, they’re this, they’re this, they’re that. Whatever it is. Or I blame the situation in the world. I blame the laws that allow these things to happen or whatever it is. Fear is in our minds, fear is an energy that is of the ego.

12:54 It is not of the true self. Fear is not of our true nature. So we want to learn to recognize when it comes up. So we don’t over identify with it. If we’re identified with the fear, we become one with the fear and then we don’t break the cycle. So first we want to create that distance of awareness. And this is an essential first step that cannot be overridden or bypassed, right? We want to create that distance and not become one with it. So we want to be aware. So what I encourage you to do is to be vigilant of pattern situations that bring up fear. You can start with smaller ones that are easier to identify and start to really journal about or just create a real strong, clear awareness of what’s going on in your body, what’s going on in your breath pattern, what is happening? Is your heart starting to race? What is different? Are you starting to get a little bit shaky in your body? How has fear joined you?

#2. 5 Practical Ways to Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year: Center yourself from within

13:53 And then the second part to get past the fear is to center yourself from within. So there is the whole external world. There’s all these parts that we can’t control. There’s what other people are saying. Other people are doing what may happen out in the collective, what may happen out in the news or circumstances at your workspace or whatever it is. But the only place to really feel that centeredness and know that we can be safe and secure no matter what happens. Even if things happen to the body, even if things happen to the physical environment, there’s a place to feel secure inside. So for me, we can build that energy reserve by regular meditation, touching it, feeling it. But in day-to-day life, for me, that’s about breathing into my heart. This steady place inside taking deep breaths, slowing the breath down, cutting off the following, the narrative or the story deeper and deeper in like, oh my gosh, what if this happens?

15:06 And then this is going to happen and this is going to happen. That’s all in the mind for a moment. Just pause and go into your heart. Find where there is this untouchable place of peace. And this takes time to build like a muscle. Like I said, it’s easier to feel that peace when you’re not in a fearful situation where you’re not backed up into something that’s really stressful or feels really charged so that when the stress comes or the fearful trigger comes, you are in more of an energy reserve. You’re in a better place of more equanimity. And so you can two parts to this, meditate regularly, go into nature or whatever. Stillness practices help to serve you there. And then number two, when the fear comes up, don’t try to go into a control mechanism from the outside, but rather go to the inside.

16:05 Soothe yourself first. Get yourself regulated first. Feel a level of inner stability. Okay, my heart rate has calmed down, my breath has calmed down. I’m taking deeper breaths again, for me again, this is really very much about connecting to the heart and just I’m safe. You can say a mantra, I’m safe. I’m okay. No matter what happens, I will be okay. Find your centeredness inside.

#3. 5 Practical Ways to Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year: Remind yourself that fear is an irrational energy

And then the third step is to remind yourself that fear is an irrational energy. Fear is of the mind. The mind goes banana sometimes. Sometimes, of course, there are things that we need to deal with practically speaking, to move ourself out of harm’s way. If there’s a rabid dog running towards us, we need to go into the bathroom and close the door, or we need to move the car over. If there’s a truck barreling down the road on the wrong side of the street or whatever it is, there’s practical things that we need to do, but there’s a whole lot of fear that is irrational.

17:14 And so what we want to do once we have done step two, once we find a sense of center, is to question the mind, is this really true? Do I really need to be scared of this right now? Are there reasonable steps to take? What are the measures that will, where’s the line between taking reasonable precautions versus I got to let go here. I can’t control everything. So I’ll give you an example. There was an email sent out in our community about a string of package robberies that are unfortunately occurring in the area as well as burglaries. And I loved the way that this email was written by one of my neighbors. He said, take reasonable precautions. Bring your packages in right away, lock your door, your car door at night so people aren’t rummaging around in your car. Reasonable precautions, but don’t live in fear, right?

18:14 There’s a line there. I’m going to do my best. And if I know people right now, there’s a string of people, hopefully they will move on or stop their practices, but they’re doing. But if I know they’re stealing the packages, I’ll do my best to bring my packages in. But I’m not going to live in fear that something gets stolen because I don’t want that to be the framework, my perspective for life. So here’s where once we’ve calmed ourselves and found a center, the rational part of our brain can get turned back on, which is where we can look at the fears rationally and say, you know what? There’s something here from my past. This is actually related to a past wound. I fear that I’m not enough. But that’s just an old belief. And then we can coach ourselves, I am enough. Why wouldn’t I be?

19:01 Everyone else is enough. Of course I’m enough. I am okay here. I do belong. I do look fine. I am doing enough. We can start to speak back to those thoughts, willing to have shown a show from a few years ago that I did with Byron Katie, who’s a spiritual teacher. And she talks about the work, which in her practice is a series of four questions that you ask yourself. And the first one is, is this really true? Is this really true? Because otherwise, just as we don’t want to identify with the energy of fear, we don’t want to identify with all of these. Let’s face it, crazy thoughts that we all tell ourselves every day. There’s a large percentage of thoughts which are completely untrue, crazy thoughts like, I know I don’t belong here. Everybody else is better than me. I really am not enough.

20:01 So we start to question and it all feeds together. We create that awareness and it’s much easier to separate from the thoughts when we feel that deeper sense of stability inside of us, as I mentioned, when we feel grounded in our bodies. So we want to do that first. If we go right to, okay, I feel fear, and then let me rationalize this very heady, all of the mind. The mind is not going to get us there, right? It’s all linear. The yogic teachings are that we’re deeper than the mind teachings of Eckhart Tolle. We’re more than the thoughts, the power of the presence. Power of present moment is not going deeper into the mind, which is running all over the place. The ego. We go into the body, we calm the body first. The body becomes our friend, go into the heart where we can access the true self. And then the truth starts to come out. I am okay. I can deal with this challenge.

21:01 I am enough actually. So first, the awareness. Second, we find safety and security inside. We find our own center. We connect to that deeper formless place within us known as the soul, the higher self, the true self, the heart, whatever you want to say. We soothe the body, we come back online. Then the part three, we question, well, what can I do practically here? Okay, I’m scared. I’m fearful that I’m going to be fired from my job. Well, have I done all my work? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe this warrants having a really honest conversation with my supervisor and saying, Hey, I’m ready to step up. I know I’ve been late with projects, but I’m going to do my best now knowing we’ve done everything and then doing it, doing everything we can to prevent an outcome that maybe not be favorable, but also saying, if it happens, I’m still going to be okay.

22:00 I’ve learned lessons and I’m going to get another job. And then in the relationship realm, I’ve done this too fearful of my husband. Oh my gosh, I love him so much. What if he doesn’t love me? What if he leaves me? Or what if something happens? And then we go find that center inside. I can’t control everything. Rationally speaking. I know he loves me as well. He is bananas over me too. And this is a fear from the past. This is abandonment joining me now. And all I can do is be loving with myself. And even if the worst outcome came and he did leave me, I’d still be okay because I’m okay on the inside. And then we can move forward in life. We move forward. No matter what’s going on with all the things that we can’t control, we do our best. We find that center inside because it’s not going to come from other people and it’s not going to come from the world.

#4. 5 Practical Ways to Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year: Continue to build that inner sense of security by building a lifestyle that feels supportive and grounding

23:06 And then number four, we continue to build that inner sense of security and easier ness to access it by building a lifestyle that feels supportive and grounding. And this is where the Dina Sharia comes up. It’s where the daily routine. This is where the morning practice. Get your gut health in check. Take your SBO probiotics, take your detoxy, rid your body of toxins that make you feel full and then stressed out in your brain. Drink your lemon water, drink your glowing green smoothie. Meditate in the morning. Do your practices and fear will not able to permeate your life as easily. Fear, jealousy, worry, anger, resentment, lower vibration energies come in more easily when we are more vulnerable, when we haven’t rested, when we’ve been eating a bunch of sugar, when our bodies are bloated and not cared for. When we feel pent up from not exercising properly, when we’re dehydrated and we’re getting little fatigue headaches, we get snippy.

24:13 We get snappy. We start to believe the low vibration thoughts. So part of getting past fear, practically speaking is building full body and full lifestyle resilience. It means this is how I’m living my life day in and day out. I feel better. I feel more calm. I am in more rational control. I’m in more emotional equanimity. And the fear doesn’t come in as easily when thoughts come up. I feel so strong and grounded in my body. I have fiber in my system. I’m eating antioxidants. I feel great. I’m getting up at a regular time. I’m going to bed early. I’m rested. I can deal with this. Versus when we feel depleted, it is much, much harder to deal with life. It is much easier to go down the dark pathways of fear, right? We know this to be true. We know this as well. If we are depleting ourselves with drugs and alcohol, and maybe this is a time to clean up a little bit in that area.

25:17 I know a lot of us people go through that period around New Year’s and maybe there’s been a lot of partying. But the truth is that the unfortunate truth, maybe the hard truth is that even one alcoholic beverage can disable your alpha brainwaves, which is where you feel creative and turned on in life for 24 hours. So again, back to our show on Monday, what are our values? How do we want to feel? And how does our lifestyle really reflecting that? We want to feel good. We want to feel fearless. We want to go after that project. We want to create that amazingness this year. We want to start that business. We want to start that website. We want to start that program. We want to get that job. We want to create a life partner and feel like we’re a good partner for them.

#5. 5 Practical Ways to Get Past Feelings of Fear in the New Year: Create the right environment for yourself

26:10 Get past the fear. Create the lifestyle that will sustain you through that. And then number five, right? Environment, which is an extension of lifestyle, but who we’re around and the lifestyle we create really impacts us. So we want to get past fear. Don’t be around fear-based people turn off fear-based social media accounts, which are feeding into that energy, keeping it more alive in your body and in your mind. We want to create more of a support system who is a rational voice in your life. That can remind you sometimes when you need to hear it, that you are being fearful, that you are being irrational, that you don’t need to go down that road once again and tell yourself the same patterns. So watch who you are around. And notice you don’t have to cut people out entirely, but you’ll start to notice the people that are more jumpy, the people that are more prone to fear.

27:08 And if you are feeling down or you are feeling more vulnerable, don’t surround yourself in that environment. Instead, go to the light, go to the lighter energy person, go to that supportive person. Or turn on music that feels invigorating or energizing for you. Listen to a talk or do a guided meditation or something that feels the opposite of fearful energy. Support yourself in this way. And again, part of that circles back to number one, which is creating that awareness. We have to be aware when we start to feel vulnerable and things start to feel like they’re taking us down a path of darkness. And then we can reverse. And then we bring in the tools, and then we meet the darkness with the light, the light of awareness, the light of truth, the light of the true self, the light of the deep knowingness that we are going to be okay, the energy reserves that we call in from the inside, the ways in which we connect on the inside to truth and to higher intelligence and spirit, however you like to think of it personally.

28:20 There’s so much strength that we gain from the inside. So to review this process, again, five practical ways of getting past fear is number one, to really become clear and aware when fear is arising in your body and in your mind. What are the familiar thought patterns? What are the normalized body responses, the habitual responses, the faster heart rate, the tightening, whatever it feels like. Be aware. And then especially number two, when that happens, go to your center, go inside, soothe yourself, breathe yourself back down to a normal resting rate. And we do that in the moment to regulate, to find our center inside to know that safety and security lives on the inside. And then also our regular practices like meditation in the evenings, in the mornings, help us to be able to access that centeredness in times of stress and fear more easily.

29:16 And then number three, since fear is irrational, we ask the why. We go back to questioning our own thoughts. We don’t identify with the fear. Then we can take reasonable precautions and steps and then realize that we don’t control everything and then let everything go that we can’t control because we can know in our hearts that we’ve done our best, and then we also can create the awarenesses of where past fears and wounds and triggers have come in. And then we can meet them with that rational awareness of, oh, that’s just that old thing again, that I don’t have to buy into that we don’t over identify. Then number four, we build a lifestyle that’s supportive and grounding. This is the Dina Chaia evening routine morning routine, so that we are less susceptible to fear in the first place. We’re more resilient against stressful, fearful thoughts.

30:05 We’re more centered because our body, our diet, our meditation practice, our emotional wellbeing, everything is on point. So again, please lean on the website for support here. We’ve got lots and lots of support, dietarily speaking, digestion, speaking with our supplements, practices, a million articles, meditations, and more. Number five, create the right environment for yourself. Notice who’s fear-based around you. Notice what shows, television shows, movies, social media accounts, breed more fear, energy in you turn them off, switch your energy over. You are in control of that. So bring that awareness and create a supportive lifestyle and environment. So I hope this supports you. My sincere intention is always to support you moving forward. Being more fearless is going to be a huge way to support your goals this year, physically, health-wise, professionally, relationship wise and beyond. So I will be here for you. Always write more questions, check out the show notes. Find me on social media at speaking of social in a positive way at Kimberly Snyder. I’ll be back here Monday. As always, for our next interview, I send you so much love, so much love, and so much support and so much gratitude, and see you back here soon. Namaste.