Topic: How Loneliness Can Impact Your Emotional Well-Being
Hi everyone and welcome back to our Thursday Q &A show. I hope you are having a wonderful week. Our topic today as I mentioned is around loneliness and specifically how a loneliness can impact your emotional well-being and making meaningful connections. So I am excited to dive into this show. Loneliness can take many different forms. Sometimes we are living away from other people. Like you mentioned, it could be a more rural place. We can feel lonely when we’re in the middle of the city and we’re not really connecting to people and we’re sort of walking around feeling isolated. Loneliness can happen if we live alone or sometimes it can feel like we feel lonely when we’re living with a lot of people and we have this sense of secrecy or that we’re not being open about what’s going on inside of us. We can talk, you know, we can feel these, you know, it’s very much a mental state. And so it can be exacerbated on environmental factors. But I have found….
Episode Summary:
In this episode, Kimberly addresses the emotional turmoil following the recent US election, emphasizing the importance of self-connection and community in overcoming feelings of loneliness. She explores the multifaceted nature of loneliness, its impact on mental and physical health, and offers practical steps to foster meaningful connections and enhance emotional well-being through heart alignment and community engagement.
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Episode Chapters
00:00 Navigating Emotions Post-Election
10:32 Connecting with the True Self
17:19 The Health Implications of Loneliness
27:51 Practical Steps to Combat Loneliness
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KIMBERLY’S BOOKS
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STUDIES AND RESEARCH
A 2010 Study in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine by John Cacioppo, a pioneer in the study of loneliness, found that chronic loneliness can have serious effects on mental and physical health. It also showed that loneliness increases the risk of depression, anxiety, cognitive decline as well as triggering a “fight or flight” stress response, which can lead to long-term physiological changes that negatively impact health.
A 2012 study conducted by UCSF focused on older adults and found that loneliness is a significant predictor of functional decline and death. The study included 1,600 participants 60 years old or older and found that those who reported feeling lonely were at a higher risk of deteriorating health, including difficulties with daily activities and increased mortality rates.
A 2010 Study in the Journal of PLOS Medicine found that individuals with strong social relationships had a 50% increased likelihood of survival compared to those with weaker social ties. This study highlighted that loneliness and social isolation are as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic.
A 2004 study in the Havard Gazette was the longest-running study on human happiness and tracked the lives of over 700 men for more than 75 years. The study consistently found that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives. Strong relationships protect against mental and physical decline, and are a better predictor of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.
A 2016 study published in the Journal of The National Academy of Sciences found that people who reported feeling more socially connected had lower levels of inflammation and stronger immune responses. This research indicates that social bonds can directly influence physical health by enhancing immune function and reducing stress-related inflammation.
A 2021 Study in The American Journal of Psychotherapy found that the impact of group therapy programs can be effective in reducing feelings of isolation and improving well-being. It found participants who were exposed to group therapy helped to build empathy, and foster a sense of community, leading to decreased loneliness and improved mental health.
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Transcript
Kimberly Snyder (00:01.558)
Hi everyone and welcome back to our Thursday Q &A show. I hope you are having a wonderful week. I know there’s a lot of emotions in the air right now. If you are listening to this or watching this on our YouTube channel in real time, we just had the US election and whether you were incredibly disappointed or incredibly elated with the results, there’s just a lot of emotions. There’s a lot of a sense of division right now in our country.
if you happen to be American watching or listening to this. So I just want to acknowledge the feelings and unrest that may be coming up right now this week before we get into our show and to remind you that no matter what’s going on in the outside world, including with this election, including with so much out here that is not within our direct control, we can anchor into our hearts. We can feel.
a deep sense of groundedness and safety and security from within. And ultimately, this is how we do feel security on a long-term basis. Things are going to happen. Things are going to come and go. We may not like everything, but we can work to feel that security inside. And we can start to create more connections and unity with the community around us and the people around us and to start to transcend any sort of
polarization, we can start to feel again that we really are one, we are one community, we are going to move forward, and we can just do our part. So this week in particular, I encourage you to really lean into your heart aligned meditation. If you have the hidden power of the five hearts, go back to that practice, the heart aligned steady and life practice, as big emotions come up. Today, we’re actually going to be talking about loneliness, which is a really potent energy which can feel very
isolating and it’s like that a sting to it and a sense of despondency. And we’re going to be talking about that and how much we can really do. There’s lots of things we can do when we start to feel that energy right now, which may be what you’re feeling in conjunction with the election as well. So I’m here for you as always. You can reach out to me with more.
Kimberly Snyder (02:22.37)
questions or comments on social media and here on the website to get through this time which may feel very lonely and just in general lots of different emotions coming up. Our topic today as I mentioned is around loneliness and specifically how a loneliness can impact your emotional well-being and making meaningful connections. So I am excited to dive into this show.
Remember, as always, that the show notes, the research for today’s show can be find at mysaluna.com, which is our community hub. You can also find other offerings around our Heart-Led Living and Lifestyle and Wellness Lifestyle, which is really this holistic approach, including gut health, which is the other brain. Your heart is a brain. The brain up in your head is a brain, and gut health really can help you foster deeper mental health, more physical wellness.
everything from better digestion to having more energy, better skin health and more. So I encourage you to take advantage of all the different resources on our website from courses to our detoxi supplement. I just traveled to South Carolina this week for a quick business trip and I was just reflecting on my own gratitude for detoxi and having the Glow-In-Greens powder to take with me.
to just keep on track no matter where we are in our day, in our lives. So all of that’s over at mysaloon.com. Let’s get right into our show today. Our question comes from Ginger who lives in Montana. Ginger, thank you so much for writing in. And you write, during the pandemic, I moved from the city to a more rural community. While I love being in nature and its beauty, I do feel lonely sometimes. And I wonder how…
It can weigh on my mental and emotional health and what I can do when I feel this way. Ginger, thank you so much for bringing this up. It’s a big topic and we are having an upcoming podcast around mental health and all different aspects of it, including loneliness, including secrecy by Patrick Kennedy. So be on the lookout for that.
Kimberly Snyder (04:40.596)
Loneliness can take many different forms. Sometimes we are living away from other people. Like you mentioned, it could be a more rural place. We can feel lonely when we’re in the middle of the city and we’re not really connecting to people and we’re sort of walking around feeling isolated. Loneliness can happen if we live alone or sometimes it can feel like we feel lonely when we’re living with a lot of people and we have this sense of secrecy or that we’re not being
open about what’s going on inside of us. We can talk, you know, we can feel these, you know, it’s very much a mental state. And so it can be exacerbated on environmental factors. But I have found in my work and people bringing this forward to me that is very much independent as well. Just because we’re in a crowded place or you go to lots of parties or social environments.
doesn’t mean that you don’t feel lonely, right? It has so much to do with our perceptions. And that is why the number one thing that we can do to overcome loneliness is to first increase our self connection. When we talk about connected to self, I don’t mean in a surface way where we may just start to know more data about ourselves or lean into different identifications or,
fitness trackers, all that can be great. But I’m talking to the part of us, the expansive wholeness inside of us, which cannot be measured by numbers and identities and achievements and what your job title is. When we are living on the surface, we can start to feel a lot of comparison, a lot of self-judgment and a lot of loneliness. We can say, well, I guess I have this many friends or
You know, I’m only making this much money right now or I this many followers or whatever it is versus starting to sink in more and more to the wholeness that is inside of you. It’s right here right now. As you’re listening to this or watching this as I’m waving to you, if you’re watching this on our YouTube channel, there is a place that you can seek refuge in a place which feels
Kimberly Snyder (07:06.06)
warm and connected and where you feel held. And whilst supportive community is amazing, and that’s one of the things we’ll talk about today, and it is wonderful to foster community and friendships. And we are, you know, tribal animals, so to speak. We are meant to be in packs to an extent, although naturally there’s some of us that are more introverted and more extroverted. There’s so much we can do to foster this.
deep connection. Loneliness is a state of disconnection and separation. So we have separated from the true self. So we are up in the mind, we’re up in the thoughts, we’re up in the confusion, the overwhelm, the fear, the circular thought patterns keep going. As we meld into the true self, which we access through the wisdom and the intelligence, the power of the heart, we can start to feel that we are never alone.
I mean this in a spiritual sense because we are all one with spirit and the higher intelligence, however you like to think of it, the true self that runs through me and you and everything else. So we’re never truly isolated. And also what the science and the research shows, so the heart fields, the electromagnetic fields which connect all things and theoretical physicists.
that are outlined in The Field, which is a book by Lynn McTaggart and other incredible books, we realize that the literal truth is that we are always connected with our brothers and sisters and life in all its different forms. However, when we are disconnected from the heart’s intelligence, when we are disconnected from the spiritual aspect of ourselves, we’re up in the head, we’re in incoherence, the heart and brain isn’t speaking, we’re more in the dark heart stage.
and we feel this cut-offness in a deep way in terms of loneliness and isolation. So there’s so much that we can do to heal this split, this severance within ourselves, which we’ll talk about in just a moment. And then once we are more deeply connected to ourselves, there’s a natural outgrowth into feeling more deeply connected.
Kimberly Snyder (09:33.246)
inside of our existing relationships. And then we can start to forge more new meaningful connections. And sometimes it’s with the people just right around us. It’s amazing how this light starts to burst open from inside of us. And we start to see that, wow, there’s this amazing person that comes to the coffee shop every morning and I can start this conversation with them.
Or, you know, I see these incredible humans every week in the schoolyard or at the playground, other moms that, you know, I could start to connect with or at my church or whatever, at the library, wherever you happen to be. When we are feeling disconnected from ourselves, it very much blocks us from wanting to reach out to others. Or if we do, it’s in a more surface-based way with quite a bit of separation.
And so we want to open up to what is here, what is potentially this potential that’s possible right here, right now from your heart’s power. So before we get into the research, I’d like you to just pause for a moment and you can place your hands on your heart or just focus on your heart. you’re
listening to this while you’re walking your dog or you’re driving your car, you’re doing the dishes or folding some laundry. And just breathe in and out. Take a deep breath in and out while you’re focusing on your heart. And I want you to breathe in this energy of peace and a feeling of security. And I want you to exhale out a feeling of peace.
security.
Kimberly Snyder (11:25.238)
And now want you to breathe in peace, security, and wholeness while you’re focusing on your heart.
Kimberly Snyder (11:35.126)
And then you’re going to exhale out a feeling of peace, security, and wholeness.
Kimberly Snyder (11:46.464)
So this is what some of the research at HeartMath calls a replacement attitude. When we’re feeling lonely, we realize that through the power of the heart, this gateway, this portal, with intention and focus, we can intentionally breathe in a different attitude, a different energy right in this moment. It’s like choosing the chocolate or the vanilla.
Right, or I choose to eat this banana or I’m eating this orange. I don’t want to oversimplify it but I also want us to know the power of intention in this morning in this moment when we shift away from going down the rabbit hole letting the wild mind ego just keep going and going into disparity and desolation and You know overwhelm
In this moment, we start to claim our power back. We say, wait a minute, in this moment, I can start to tap into what is there, right? This wholeness. Our whole lifestyle is built on tapping into wholeness, whole foods, right? Whole, the wholeness, the spectrum of life. Saluna means the sun and the moon. It’s this wholeness, it’s emotional digestion.
It’s the wholeness of love and compassion. So right now, as we start to access more of our wholeness, we realize that we really are not alone. We’re not fragmented. We don’t have to feel isolated and lonely. And from this place of wholeness, we may start to feel natural needs and inspirations rising up. I would like to spend the evening with other
humans, let me reach out to this friend, or let me get involved in this volunteer opportunity instead of being alone, or let me FaceTime my relative that I haven’t talked to in a while, let me reach out. And this will start to come from a very natural place inside of you instead of in a fake forced way. Sometimes when we are feeling isolated and lonely, we quell
Kimberly Snyder (14:06.26)
our natural needs, we stuff it down so we don’t reach out when many times that other person would be so receptive and so open and so inviting, but our self-consciousness and our smallness starts to keep us from making these really meaningful connections. What’s been really powerful in my life is actually a little bit of the opposite, where a sense of anxiety,
and disconnection from myself would make me constantly reach out to people and, you know, kind of in this flurry of more surface conversations and noise, but it would keep me from feeling really truly comfortable in connection in silent moments and times when I was alone. And this really got brought up for me in the time when I was a single mom. And…
I was living by myself and my dad was with me for times and there’s people around and of course, Emerson, my oldest son, but there were times where my dad was traveling and just not there and my son would go to bed. And I remember feeling really deep loneliness and also feeling like, this ever going to get better? And is this what life is going to be now? And
over time instead of automatically just calling people, which might be the right antidote at this point in the journey for you. Everybody’s journey is different. Every heart journey is different. I remember feeling little by little a strength rising up in me as I would sit, sometimes in my closet crying. Sometimes I would just be sitting up in my bed looking through books or
you know, sometimes watching a documentary by myself or whatever it was, I started to feel a strength in being alone, but not feeling despondent and lonely because I would feel a deeper sense of fulfillment in myself. Sometimes I would just sit at my altar. Sometimes I would light a candle. I found a lot of solace in reading, in spiritual scripture. And it was a time when I was starting to surrender and trust God more and more.
Kimberly Snyder (16:28.374)
And the more we give our lives over to that type of surrender to God, Spirit, higher power, the universe, nature, however you like to think of it, the more we realize that we don’t have to go down the mind’s pathway of loneliness.
Kimberly Snyder (16:49.528)
A 2010 study in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that chronic loneliness can have serious effects on mental and physical health. Cognitive decline as well as triggering fight or flight stress responses can lead to long-term physiological changes that negatively impact health. This is where the psychological very much becomes the physiological. This is where loneliness is not just a feeling that is uncomfortable or brings discomfort. This is where loneliness really impacts the breakdown of our organs.
It can create just a lack sense of life. Please listen to our podcast this week with Dr. Amy Atlas, who’s an amazing veterinarian from the heart. And she tells a story, if you haven’t listened to it yet, about this woman who lost her dog and she was starting to come to the door. went, which she would check on her and she was in her nightgown and she wasn’t really, you know, kind of lost her will to live.
And then she gave her a rescue animal. And this woman at first resisted it. And she said, no, I don’t want to take this in, to take this dog in. And then she came back a few days later and the woman had brushed her hair and she had gotten out of her nightgown and she had a renewed sense of vitality. And she ended up living some extra years. So in all the different means in which we can start to re foster connection.
And sometimes, you know, for me, it’s been really powerful, this heart work and the heart aligned meditation, connecting back in. For others, it could be reaching out, you know, is the initial step. I think connecting with the heart is always a very important ingredient in self connection throughout this whole journey. It may start to spark it with you, just something as simple as getting a dog or a cat, a companion, spending more time in community activities to really get past
the initial hump of disparity because loneliness, and I know this from personal experience, can feel like a very dark hole. So we need something to move us towards that light at the end of the tunnel, the light that starts to pour into the cave, the light that gets us out of these dark heart moments. Speaking of, you the story reminds me of a research study from 2012 conducted by the University of California, San Francisco, focused on older adults and found that
Kimberly Snyder (19:15.96)
Loneliness is significant predictor of functional decline and death. They measured 1,600 participants, 16 older, and found that those who reported feeling lonely had a higher risk of deteriorating health. Now, we know this intuitively, but isn’t it amazing when we actually see it spelled out in research papers that life force is tied to connection? When my mom passed away a few years ago,
I was really worried about my dad and he lived with us and I got used to him being there and I loved him there. He spent so much time with Emerson, my older son, and it was beautiful to see this grandfather-grandchild connection. And at some point he started dating a new woman and at first I admit that I was feeling some resistance. This was about a year, a year and a half after my mom passed.
And in my mind, which is based on judgment and thoughts and ego, I felt like, maybe it’s too soon and this feels a little weird and are you being loyal to mom? And of course, ego blocks the expansive perspective and there’s some selfishness woven in there for me. As he got deeper into this relationship with this woman and he started traveling to see her, spending time, he wasn’t living with us all the time, it also brought up a little bit of resentment.
But now, a few years later, I could not be more grateful that he’s in a relationship. He’s in his 70s. And to be in companionship and to find someone he genuinely connects with and loves to travel with and has trips he looks forward to is amazing and it’s priceless and it’s rejuvenative. And I’ve seen him become
He’s always been really healthy and really energetic, but it’s amazing to see how much he walks and he does things and he’s excited about. was just here visiting us and he told us he had planned out his next six months of trips, travels about once a month, including to come see us. So, yeah, it’s amazing how much is available to us when we get past ego, as I mentioned, which can be self doubt, feeling like we’re burdened or people don’t want to connect to us.
Kimberly Snyder (21:39.542)
So as we connect to our heart, as we transcend some of these smaller thoughts, so many more opportunities will open up for you to actually connect to others. If you felt like it’s been difficult to connect or that you don’t really have community to turn to, this can very much shift.
So a 2010 study in the Journal of PLOS Medicine found that individuals with strong social relationships had a 50 % increased likelihood of survival compared to those with weaker social ties. This is one of the things that Dan Buettner talks about in the Blue Zones. He talks about how families and extended families tend to stay together in certain cultures and communities where there is very high rates of longevity. They’re not isolated.
They’re not just living by themselves. And this is, you know, natural and beautiful. Going back to my dad for a moment, because he just left yesterday and he stays with us for a month at a time now, which is amazing. And you can feel an energy running through the home where the kids wake up in the morning and they run down. They call him Lolo, which means grandpa in Filipino. Actually, yo-yo because they couldn’t pronounce it when they were younger. And so, you know, my little one who’s four.
You know, both of them, my older one is eight now. The second their eyes open, they say, Lolo, and they run down. And so there’s this beautiful energy exchange between these different generations where the children are obsessed with their grandpa and their grandpa gets so much energy from being with them. And it’s so beautiful to foster, I think, these sorts of connections when we can open up and we can bring them into our lives. And if you’re listening to this and considering maybe
There’s relatives that you may be inspired to reach back out to or to re-foster a connection with.
Kimberly Snyder (23:36.928)
And also for your children as well, right? And sometimes I’ll say our uncle John, who is my long-term business partner and friend, he’s family and he’s around our kids a lot. He’s their godfather. so family doesn’t have to be so literal as a biological connection. We can lean into those who we really truly feel connected with. And it’s so beautiful and important to foster, to put time and energy into.
There’s so much research around this. I’ll name a couple more studies and if you’re interested in reading longer, I suggest that you go into the show notes. But I want to talk about some of the more action steps after this one research paper published in 2016 in the Journal of the National Academy of Sciences found that people who were more socially connected had lower levels of inflammation and stronger immunity responses. Now, this does not surprise me one bit because everything is so interconnected.
And one of the research papers in the Hidden Power of the Five Hearts highlighted how feelings of care increased IGA, which is a secretory antibody, which is a measurable aspect of immunity. So when these participants in the study, over five minutes of recalling care, just recalling an incident when someone cared for them or they cared for someone else,
like a sick pet or like an ailing friend, their immunity significantly increased for six hours. So everything is so interconnected. These regenerative heart emotions are promoting a heart coherence and nourishing to all the cells in the body. So some of the things that I really recommend that you can start doing right here, right now, if you’re feeling a bit of loneliness or isolation or angst or desolation or
again, especially this election week and beyond. Number one, start doing the heart aligned meditation. There is no reason not to try this incredible practice, which is research based. We did a study on it. It’s less than eight minutes. It’s about eight minutes long. You could do it in the morning. You could do it in feelings of loneliness. Hit the research. The tracks are at mysaloonit.com and you can do.
Kimberly Snyder (25:56.652)
the meditation and it will soothe you and it will bring you into a deep sense of connection right here and right now. Number two, to explore more around bringing your heart’s power into fostering deep self connection. So I recommend you read about the heart stages in the new book, The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts. And there’s many tools, some of them under a minute, which support you through your daily life and your heart’s journey.
I encourage you, as we’ve been talking about here on and off, to foster those existing connections which you feel drawn to. Some connections you may feel drawn to removing yourself more from. Some make you feel more lonely. Some people bring out the worst in us, let’s face it. Some people are really negative. And that’s unfortunate. I could think of some people, relatives that would like to be close to us, but they’re very negative. It’s just so…
arduous sometimes to be around people that are incoherent, as I mentioned. And so this is one of the things that Swami Sri Yukteswar brings up in the holy science. He says to bring those around you that cool your system and bring about more peace and to avoid those that take your peace away. Now we’re on the journey, we all get stronger and stronger. And so this doesn’t mean that we cut people off or we’re harsh or mean.
but it does mean that our wellbeing is primary. And it’s so important that we do take care of ourselves along this journey. We wanna join communities with like-based values. These can be spiritual communities. These can be service-based communities. I know at my parents’ school, we have wonderful parents’ groups. We’re organizing a beach cleanup, a service project together with my son’s third grade class, working together in service.
for the greater good can feel very enlivening to the spirit as well, to your personal spirit. Isolation comes when we’re really focused on the me and I don’t feel good and I feel this and this and this. So we expand ourselves in service, right? This is one of the things we’re gonna talk about on our next podcast with Patrick Kennedy. I don’t wanna speak, tease too much about it, but it was such a powerful conversation. And he was able to pull himself out of deep addiction through service and through this.
Kimberly Snyder (28:21.304)
really clear purpose that he had, which was to serve others. So when you’re feeling down in the dumps, a really potent way to pull yourself out is to volunteer and to give your life away more into a cause that’s important to you. Get your hands in there, whether that’s digging in nature, doing a type of beach cleanup, do a service project, planting trees, working with the less fortunate, teaching meditation to children, working at your local library.
When we are in service to others, we expand so much, including expanding out of those negative dark heart moments. again, back to coherence, our heart and brains connect and there’s coherence and care. So, don’t just focus on caring for yourself, but expand that care into caring for others, because this is how you’re going to really heal loneliness in such a profound way.
And of course, sometimes we need professional help, professional therapy, do not hesitate to reach out to counselors, therapists, there’s telehealth options. There are many different ways in which you can talk to someone who can also help to get you through some really dark moments, thought patterns, which may be plaguing you right now. The tools in the book have helped me tremendously, which is why I feel so honored to offer them.
The more I connect with my heart, the more I realize how much power in the past I’ve given to my thoughts, how much power I’ve given to my ego and my mind. And I realize more and more that life does not have to be so mind controlled, right? The heart is where the care and the love and the fulfillment, the literal antidotes to loneliness can be found.
And from this place of self connection with the true self, then we can go out and connect more with others. And it becomes so much easier to connect with others from the heart. We don’t get caught up in all the different potential insults and sensitivities and ways we can get offended. We can see the humanence before us and inside of us, the light and the light connects to the light. And this is where we start to forge so much more love and beautiful.
Kimberly Snyder (30:45.196)
connections and we lift ourselves out of the darkness of loneliness. So please, once again, head over to mysaluna.com to check out the show notes, links to other podcasts I think you would enjoy, resources, the Heart Aligned Meditation Tracks. And I can’t emphasize enough how important it is when we’re feeling these different emotional states.
to really ground into this heart-led lifestyle, which includes gut health, includes taking your SBO probiotics, drinking your Glow-In-Green smoothie with your Glow-In-Greens powder added in. How we take care of our bodies is a huge impact on our energy. I feel off, I feel erratic, I feel unsustained, unsustainably joyful when I’m eating crap food or I’m not eating.
enough or I’m not eating my greens or my gut health is out of whack, right? We need to embody stabilizing, grounding, nourishing energy inside through, that’s what we have our four cornerstones, food, body, emotional well-being and spiritual growth. So everything works together. So while you’re at mysaloona.com, checking out these resources and the meditation tracks, please check out the products and the articles and everything else on there because everything works well together.
And I can specifically say two really powerful products to start with are the SBO probiotics and the Glowing Greens powder. And you can listen to some of the podcasts where I talked about Amalaki and the power of Ashitaba and some of the plants, the seven plants that are in our Glowing Greens powder, which can really help create mental health, emotional stability, and gut health as well. We will be back here Monday as always for our next show.
Please reach out to me in the meantime. Please take great care of yourself and your beautiful hearts and I send you so much love and I look forward to connecting with you more.
Kimberly Snyder (32:47.232)
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