Creating Meaningful Friendships and Life with Krista Williams [Episode #994]

This Week’s Episode Special Guest: Almost 30’s Krista Williams

In this engaging conversation, Krista Williams, co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and author of the book ‘Almost 30’, shares her journey of writing the book, navigating change, and embracing authenticity in relationships. The discussion delves into the importance of trust, vulnerability, and the role of money in our lives, as well as the impact of friendships on personal growth. Krista emphasizes that life is about becoming and that we should allow ourselves to be supported by the universe in our journeys.

About Krista Williams

Krista Williams is a content creator, author, and co-host of the successful “Almost 30” podcast. Known for her style and vibrancy, followers flock to Krista for dating, travel and self-care inspiration. Krista’s first book Almost30: A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond launched in June. Krista is one of the deepest, most curious minds, yet at the same time heart centered and intuitively led. As a multi passionate creator and life experimenter, Krista’s work includes The Life Edit, Metamorphosis, Modern Tarot, Spotify’s Top New Podcast, Morning Microdose and the #1 ranking Almost 30 Podcast. Krista has learned everything she teaches the hard way: by times of suffering allowing her to share embodied insights over commodified knowledge, and out of necessity, discovering the tools and research that transformed her life and got her to where she is today.

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Guest Resources

Book: Almost30: A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond.

Website: almost30.com

Social: Instagram: @itskrista 123K

Episode Chapters

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Krista Williams and Her Journey
02:18 The Decision to Write a Book
04:41 Understanding the Saturn Return and Life Changes
06:58 Embracing Change and Flexibility
08:48 Navigating Modern Dating and Authenticity
10:11 Solitude vs. Loneliness in Relationships
12:03 Reclaiming the Concept of God
14:01 The Importance of Trust in Relationships
17:29 Finding Beauty in Life’s Uncertainties
20:34 The Call of Your Soul and Personal Growth
22:54 Conflict Avoidance and Clearing Conversations
24:25 The Power of Clearing Conversations
27:34 The Importance of Friendships
30:30 Understanding Money and Abundance
40:41 Navigating Perfectionism and Self-Worth

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Transcript:

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (00:01.187)
Hi loves, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so excited for my very special guest here with us today. Ms. Krista Williams, who is a content creator, author, co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and her first book is out now called Almost 30, a definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. And also Krista is a dear friend of mine personally, we’ve known each other for years. So Krista, thank you so much for being back on the show with me. You’ve been on, but I think it’s been a couple years. So welcome back.

Bob (00:41.294)
Thank you. feels surreal to be talking to the master author herself, author of some of the best books, eight books, and be a first time author. So I feel really lucky and I feel really grateful because I know your audience is just incredible, so heartfelt and loving and open. And I feel so lucky to connect with them and share more about the book and more about some of the lessons and themes in it that I’m hopeful to be really supportive of for them.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (01:07.907)
You know, I remember we were on the same flight going to Mexico or wanderlust. I think it was last year, a year and a half ago. I flew only with Momo, my little one. And I remember distinctly waiting for our bags. And you started telling me that you were about to write the book or you were thinking about writing the book. And so was just that Genesis back then. I remember that spark was, was just being lit. So.

Bob (01:12.982)
Yes.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (01:38.145)
Tell us about the decision. As an author, it’s like very near and dear to my heart, the decision to actually put pen to paper, so to speak, writing. The written word is very different format of communication.

Bob (01:52.398)
Yeah, I remember meeting at the airport too and spending the best week with Momo in Mexico. And, you know, for anyone listening that has something to say or a story to tell or something they believe that should be heard, just encouraging them to start writing, to start doing, to put themselves out there. I was someone that for so long knew that there was a book inside of me, knew that there was a book inside Lindsay and I, but we just wanted the right time to come up. You know, I wanted to feel like…

I was the type of woman that could write the type of book that we wrote with almost 30. When we started the show, we were on our closet floors. We were at rock bottom. I felt so lost in life and I felt like I should have known more answers. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose and I would say I was at my worst. And through the years of doing the show, through the years of doing so much self-development work and deepening my spirituality and really coming back home to myself, I’ve really found out.

all of the ways in which you can really create and sculpt a life that you love, that have worked for myself, for my best friend and co-host, for some of the experts on the podcast and for some of our audience. And so I wanted to feel first, like I was ready. I wanted to feel secondly, like it was divinely guided and supported and the process of getting the book teal and writing the book was so divinely guided and supported. It was so stunning. And so, and then third, I wanted to feel like I really had something to say.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (03:11.629)
Yeah.

Bob (03:17.782)
I wanted to feel like the book was meaningful and I think there’s a lot of self-help books out there. There’s a lot of books that people tell you that you should read, that you have to read, and I’m not gonna tell you that you should read or have to read my book, but I wanted to actually feel like I as a reader would get as much value from it as the person would reading it. And so I really feel like all those things came together.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (03:35.48)
Hmm.

Beautiful. So I think for me picking up the book for the first time and maybe people listening to this Krista, it’s called Almost 30. Is this book for people almost 30 and you guys started the show at that, you know, around that point in your life and now, you know, many of us have crossed over 30. it’s relevant for, you know, women and people of any age and then we’ll

Bob (03:47.886)
It’s me.

Mm-hmm.

Bob (03:55.18)
Yeah.

Bob (03:59.711)
I myself have crossed that bridge. Yes.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (04:07.528)
into that, the Saturn return and that particular period.

Bob (04:11.694)
Yeah, so it is for anyone of any age. And the reason why it’s called Almost 30 is because the podcast Almost 30 that Lindsay and I do started when we were almost 30, when we were in this period of time called the Saturn Return. It’s a really important astrological transit that I wish I knew about when I was in my 27 to 30 year period. What happens during the Saturn Return is that astrologically Saturn, the planet revisits the same point in your natal chart as it was in the sky when you were born.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (04:41.059)
Mmm.

Bob (04:41.314)
And what this means plainly is that Saturn is the task master planet. So where each of the areas of your life that you’re living unaligned come up, they’ll be up for review. So say for an example, you’re in this period between 27 and 30, it’s around 29.5 years for most people. You are in a relationship that isn’t aligned with your soul, or you’re at a job that doesn’t let you up. During this time, you might break up with that person, you might leave your job, you might get fired. There’s a lot of change and transition that happens.

And it can be really scary and it can be really jarring or it can be really beautiful for you seeing your life as something that has a lot of opportunity and positivity and magic. And there’s a lot of really important decisions that happen in this period. So where there’s information that applies to this period, it’s not just for people in this period because we always go through change. We always go through a transition. We’re always evolving and we’re always becoming. And the lessons in, know, sections in this are around career.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (05:31.084)
Yes.

Bob (05:40.022)
around money, around nutrition and nourishment and the body. They’re around purpose and they’re around spirituality and search for meaning. And so the more important broader topics are topics we’ve talked about on the show over the past 10 years, but really the entry point is being in good relationship to change and really finding out who you are through the process.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (05:58.562)
Yes.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:02.157)
Beautiful and like you said, it is that particular moment in time, but there’s always ongoing change. remember that time and I was in New York and there’s a lot of changes going on and it was, you know, around when I started writing books and I well, I guess I started doing Korea yoga a little bit before that, but shortly after I moved to LA, but I have to say Krista since then having children and there’s been so many changes. So it really is.

Bob (06:11.469)
Mm-hmm.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:31.191)
you know, embracing that adaptability.

Bob (06:33.558)
Yeah, it’s huge. It’s one of the most important things we can be is flexible in life. It’s being really fierce about what we want and where we want to go and who we want to be, but being very flexible about how that comes. And when we can really apply flexibility to everything, to our spiritual practices, to our relationships, to our friendships, to our body, everything just gets better and easier and lighter. And we can not only love ourselves, but we can also love our life.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:38.071)
Yes.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (06:58.657)
Yes. And one of the things I love about how much you share and again, bracing change, and you’ve talked about this openly is, you know, with your dating life and your love life and you give talks at Bumble and you’ve done all these amazing, you give really amazing pieces of advice about being really authentic. Can you share a little bit, because I know we get a lot of questions about people feeling lonely, putting on masks when they’re on dating apps or trying to meet someone and actually,

Bob (07:24.27)
Yeah.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (07:27.361)
My husband’s friend was here the other day and he’s not from LA, Krista, and he’s so sweet and he’s like very good looking, like very successful guy. And he’s like on Raya and he’s on these dating apps and he’s like, it’s really lonely. You know, he said that he just doesn’t, he doesn’t want to just hook up, but there’s sort of like, I don’t know. He said, it’s just hard out there.

Bob (07:40.302)
Mmm.

Bob (07:47.586)
See ya.

Yeah, it is. It’s a very interesting place and just for background and reference for the audience. So I was married. I was in a relationship for 10 years and then I’ve been divorced for the past two years. I took a year off to heal and kind of recalibrate and then I entered the dating world, you know, in a totally different space and time with online dating and apps and matchmakers and all of these things. And so it’s been so eye opening and interesting. Yeah, there’s matchmakers too. Yeah.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:08.589)
Mm.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:14.083)
Let’s try the matchmaker.

Wow.

Bob (08:18.914)
So they’re in like a lot of big cities, but basically people, mostly men pay to be set up with women. And then these matchmaking sites have women as a part of their database. So they’ll approach women online or in person and have them apply to the database. And then you get set up with these men that are with matchmakers. So people, all of that to say with online dating, with matchmakers, with all of these things, people are really lonely and looking for connection. And it makes a lot of sense that we’re more connected than ever in the digital world.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:35.309)
Go.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (08:44.545)
Yeah.

Bob (08:48.622)
but yet we feel more alone. It can feel really lonely to be inauthentic when we’re online and feel like we have to present as perfect or wear a mask. It can feel really lonely to go to your job and feel like you can’t be yourself and you’re inauthentic. And so the more inauthentic we are and the more invitations for inauthenticity, the lonely we’re going to feel because we’ve lost connection to the true version of us. I know for me when I was in the corporate world for six or eight years,

I felt really lonely because I was being inauthentic all day. didn’t feel like I could be myself. I didn’t feel like I could be emotional or deep or curious or inquisitive or all the things that I love about myself. So I think there’s a few different things happening. There’s obviously the change of the landscape of dating where it’s more dopamine based, it’s more validation based, it’s very surface. It’s kind of hitting on people’s fears about love and relationships and people are really feeling like they’re struggling to find depth and.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (09:34.669)
Yeah.

Bob (09:42.378)
meaningful connection and intention because of the pace. And then I also feel like because there’s so much invitation with the online world to be out of our authenticity and to perform, people really don’t have enough time to connect with the truth of who they are and be themselves fully and completely. And I’ve found that there is such a difference between being lonely and solitude. And Jay Shetty talks about this, but when we have solitude, we’re really choosing to be with ourselves and create intentional relationship with ourselves.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (10:04.547)
Right.

Bob (10:11.98)
And then when we’re lonely, we’re almost feeling like we’re doing something wrong because we don’t have someone or we’re not with another person. And I’ve felt both experiences of both solitude and loneliness. And I know loneliness can be really hard, but I think what I seek to do the most is firstly with dating, I have the intention to just enjoy myself and have fun. I have the intention to meet people as they are. I’m not gonna meet every man and say, are you my husband? Are you gonna be the one that saves me? Are you gonna provide me with the life that I want?

I just want people to show up as themselves. I want to show up as myself. I think secondly, I don’t do online dating or apps. I found it to be interesting and fun, but I didn’t feel like the frequency and the pace really fit me. And I told God that he needs to bring men in another way and God’s been doing that. So I just had a clear conversation with God about what works for me and what doesn’t. And then third, think being really mindful about

the ways in which we’re closing our hearts repeatedly, know, and we’re kind of affirming these beliefs that we’re gonna be alone or that no one will find us and really continuing to have the hope that if God is the creator of earth and life and all things, that God can find the right person for you. And there can be that person that’s gonna be your perfect match. And lastly, really focusing on how you can feel really at peace and at home with yourself, even when you’re alone. Because I think no matter what in life, even if we have a partner or not, it’s really important that we cultivate and develop

a sense of peacefulness when we are by ourselves.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (11:38.339)
You know, there’s so much in that Krista, and I have to say, I love how clear you are in having that conversation with God. And I love how you use that word. I use it too. Yeah, you have sections in the book where you talk about really connecting to that, you know, that allness, that energy inside and around all things. Some people like to use the word spirit, creative source, universe, whatever it is, but we’re all talking about the same thing. And you

Bob (11:44.865)
Yep.

Bob (12:03.042)
Yeah, just to speak on that a little bit, just because I know for some people it can be triggering a little bit to hear the word God. You know, I was someone that grew up in the middle of Ohio and really conservative town and God for me was not a word I loved at all. was like, so like, if you would have heard me saying God, I’d be like, turn it off. Like so boring. Don’t like it kind of gave me just a feeling of constriction. And I almost had to reclaim the word God outside of religion and not allow.

the structures and places of religion to take away what I know to be God, which is a benevolent being that loves me and works with me and collaborates me and is in support of my dreams and desires and only wants the best for me. And whether people call it God or universe or Allah or source or a Tom, whatever people want to use is totally fine. And I think they should find what works best for them. But I really found in reclaiming the word God, it almost felt like an act of rebellion a little bit for me against the structures and ways that religion took away this connection to something.

that just loves us so deeply.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (13:02.167)
That’s right. You Yogananda uses that word a lot. And in terms of this underneath all the dogma and all the different ways and religions and paths up, there is that one source, that one love. And so, yeah, so I very much connect to that. And I got really clear too, Krista, when I had my breakup and you and I have talked about this a little bit, I didn’t want to go on dating apps. And the monk that from the Self-Realization Fellowship said, you know, just feel, just work on yourself, like connect.

So I read scriptures and meditated a lot and took care of Emerson, my older, for about eight or nine months. And then he also said to me, you know, your soulmate is like never far. Like the way, like, it’s like the circles are pretty close. And he just said, you know, just use your intuition and say yes to opportunities. So I remember this very interesting dinner party opportunity came up and I said, sure, why not? I don’t have other plans. And that’s when I met.

John, who you’ve met. And it really was our first year of marriage was, you most challenging and like working out, being together and trauma came up, but it really can with this consciousness and this connection that you’re talking about, it does get deeper and deeper and more and more amazing. Now we’re in six years of marriage. you’re on me love.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (14:29.023)
Opsies. Can you hear me?

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (14:37.687)
Hmm. We’ll edit this part out, of course, but the sound just went out. you just came back. You came back. don’t know what you just. Yes, it went away and then came back. Okay.

Bob (14:43.156)
I know that’s so weird. Let me see. Okay, perfect. Is it back?

Okay, good. Okay, good. Yeah, there’s two things I just want to say about what you just said, which are so beautiful. And the first is just to provide a little clarity on, you know, my conversation with God and, know, you can even provide yours because I think when people hear that they’re a little curious about what that conversation would be, especially if you’re someone that’s dating online or you want to find the person that you love. The way that I have a conversation with God like that is just getting really, really clear.

getting really, really quiet and speaking in a way that’s very directive of like, God, I’m available in service to you and I’m no longer gonna pursue the apps. Like, please bring them in another way. know, please bring in men another way. I’m available for karmic relationships. I’m available for my person. Like saying what I’m available for and not. And whether it’s God or just the universe sort of responding to you and co-creating with you, you can be in clear choice. And in this situation, I think what’s most important is that my energy behind it is

Truth and knowing and there’s no fear. I don’t feel scared to go back on the apps I don’t feel like there’s a Timeline where I’m gonna have to go back online and find someone so I think like you had such clarity and intention with your healing you were like I’m gonna heal I’m gonna focus on this and I’m gonna then also follow my intuition and be available for what’s possible There was no pressure. There was no forcing with any of it, which is so beautiful and I think when you put pressure on it and force it can make it hard and then

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (16:07.969)
Yes.

Bob (16:16.3)
Just briefly, a second thing, which I love that you brought up about how hard the first year of your marriage was, because I think as you get older and you start to date and get into relationships, it’s really beautiful because you know who you are, you know your preferences, you know what’s important to you, you have deep relationships. But what’s also hard is that you also have more fear. You could have more protection. You could have more protector parts and ways of being that could keep you out of really deep love and relationships. And so,

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (16:38.531)
Thank

Bob (16:44.362)
It can be really challenging at first when you commit to that new loving relationship because you’re going to have a lot of fears. Are they going to leave me? Are they going to abandon me? Are they going to cheat on me? Are they always going to do this thing? And you really actually have to work with a different set of things that come up when you’re older compared to when you’re younger.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (17:04.259)
And also just when you really do find that love, for me it was, you’re not playing it safe anymore, there’s a vulnerability because you really are open to this person potentially hurting you. And so for me, it was leaning into real trust, trust in God, trust in me, trust in my partner and trust in life. So you talk about all these subjects in the book, love, you talk about.

purpose and how family matters and I know you have really rich friendships and you travel all the time, would you say too, that heals the attachment that you’ve already been married, right? So it heals the attachment of like, have to get married again or like has to look a certain way. Cause I think that’s part of, you know, the expansiveness of life is sometimes it doesn’t always work out how we want it to be, but it can be amazing in many ways.

Bob (17:40.343)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Bob (17:55.062)
Yeah, I’m so grateful for all the things that haven’t worked out for me. I wouldn’t have the life that I have without it. And I think when we can kind of see things is that it can get so much more beautiful. An example is that I was married and I think there is one way to view it where it’s like, could have had kids with someone. I could have had the house. I could have had all the things, but it wouldn’t have been a life that would have felt good for me. And I know from leaving that relationship that

When we can choose what’s right for us and what’s intentional for us, our lives can get even better than we could have ever imagined. And when I left that relationship, I had no idea what would happen in my life. I had no idea if I would move, if I would find someone, if I would not find someone, if I would regret it. I just knew that it felt like the right decision for me at the time. And sometimes in life, the most beautiful paths are paths that we don’t know the destination to. We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t know where we’re being led.

We just have to follow where we’re being called. And when I’ve done that in my life, my life has gotten even better. And another example is with Lindsay and I, know, when we started the podcast in 2016, she was the perpetually single one. She was always single. She was single for seven years. I was in a really long-term relationship with my ex-husband and now she’s married in Brooklyn with a baby. I’m single in LA with no kids. Like what was thought to be my path is now her path and vice versa. And so,

Life just kind of throws things at you and takes you to where you need to go, even if you don’t know where you’re going at the time. And the more we can loosen the grip on this really small, defined idea we have of our lives and really expand into the belief that God has a better plan for us or universe has a better plan for us, the more magic we can allow in and the more miracles we can experience.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (19:41.635)
Yes, I think that really is the heart of connection, right? We’re so connected to the heart, to the true self. And then the attachments to this has to be a certain way and should be married by the time I’m 30. I should have a couple of kids by now, whatever it is. It loosens because the connection is always there. No matter what it looks like on the outside, it’s not gonna look like everybody else’s path and it’s okay.

Bob (20:04.844)
Yeah, think in your, a lot of the reason why we wrote Almost 32 was because in your 20s, know, up until your 26, from a brain science perspective, your prefrontal cortex hasn’t developed. So your prefrontal cortex is responsible for processing, for thinking into the future, for emotional regulation. So until that point, you’re actually working with an unconscious mind that’s really working on the programming from your parents, from media, from your friends, from the people from your hometown.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (20:31.146)
Mm.

Bob (20:34.742)
And so a lot of the decisions that you’ve made are based on them. my parents wanted me to be a lawyer, or they wanted me to be a teacher, or all my friends moved to this place, or everyone likes to drink at home. Like, you’re kind of doing the things that everyone else tells you that you need to do to be happy. And then we wake up one day, most of us, and we say, I don’t even want to live in the suburbs. I don’t want to be at this job. I don’t want to be in this relationship. And that’s such a scary feeling to…

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (20:38.711)
right?

Bob (21:01.432)
feel like we’re leaving our lives behind or leaving people we love behind. But what’s happening really is that it’s the call of your soul to something that is more made for you and something that is more true and something that is more unique to you. And when we can see that as exciting and beautiful rather than scary, it can be really great. for me, the call of my soul was terrifying. was living in Chicago. I was working in a corporate job. I was in a long-term relationship with someone.

I was in friendships with friends from college and I just started to get the call to start to meditate and to stop drinking. And when you’re 26 in Chicago, this was a long time ago, sober curiosity wasn’t cool at all. It looks weird. And people thought I was like going crazy and people thought I had problems. And then even adding on, I left the relationship and then I quit the job and then I moved out of the city. Like people thought I had really lost the plot.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (21:57.827)
Wait, was this a different one, Krista?

Bob (21:57.834)
And in a way I had, I had lost, sorry. Yeah. I’ve been in long-term relationships pretty much my whole life. I love partnership. love being in relationship, but yeah, it was another very significant relationship that just didn’t feel right and I needed to leave. So I basically blew up my whole life and it seemed crazy, but now it’s the best thing I could have ever done. So if you feel like you want to make change or you want to make transition and follow your heart, it’s like, that’s what we came here to do. It’s not to listen to everyone else.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (22:28.257)
And it can also be done kindly, right? Because there’s moments in time where I think, okay, I gave up drinking and partying too. And I remember going to some of those weddings after college and I’m like, I’m not doing the shots like everyone else. And you realize, okay, like I still have the memories and these amazing times with friends, but maybe I’m not gonna spend as much time with certain people along the way and it’s okay.

Bob (22:30.924)
Yes.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (22:54.113)
And this has been a big lesson for me, Christine, the people pleasing, just keeping people along, staying in relationships for a really long time, keeping staff members at Saluna for a long time, because that letting go is part of non-attachment, right? It’s a big lesson to learn.

Bob (23:09.238)
I think it’s also, I’m curious if you feel like this lands, it’s also conflict avoidance. And I think a lot of people have that conflict avoidance. And in the book, we have a whole chapter on friendships and a lot of being in friendship is being able to be okay with conflict and be okay with having that conversation of, I’m not feeling good. You know, I’m curious how you feel, or this isn’t working for me. And I wanted to talk a little bit about what a transition would look like or.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (23:13.955)
Mmm.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (23:20.419)
Yes.

Bob (23:36.194)
hey, know, something really came up for me around what you said. And I wanted to sort of express the story that I’m telling myself and see how you feel. And the more in life we can metabolize and be with disappointing people, letting people down, having clearing conversations with friends, the more we’re gonna feel an integrity with ourselves and the more we’ll be in integrity with other people.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (23:57.347)
Do you have those types of conversations pretty regularly with your close friends, Krista?

Bob (24:03.008)
Yeah, I would say so we have something called a clearing conversation, which we break down in the book. And it’s just a really beautiful way to be an integrity with yourself and your friends. And I would say that I have a select group of friends that I do have clearing conversations with. I don’t think you always need to talk about everything. think sometimes, you know, something will come up and you could just take it to your therapist and be like, you know, she said this thing and it bothered me. And I realized because it’s I’m insecure about this thing. You know, you’re like, it shows you something about yourself.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (24:25.387)
Yeah. Yeah.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (24:30.861)
Thank

Bob (24:33.462)
which is beautiful. Or you can have something that comes up and you’re like, I actually need to know what she meant by that and I want to learn more. So the clearing conversation is an opportunity for deeper integrity and truth in relationship. And basically it’s meeting that person and sharing what is coming up for you. So this is using I statements instead of you statements. saying, I’m really feeling activated by what you said and I’d love to hear more about what you meant. Is there something that I didn’t know or that I need to understand about what you said?

You can also do these on walks and be moving forward in the same direction, which from another brain science perspective supports you in processing with that person and moving towards the same goal from a mind perspective. Doing it in nature is really beautiful, but the point is to be in integrity with yourself and how you feel. And then also with that person. And I’ve found that when you do it kindly and with love that I’m closer with the people in my life than ever before. and just one last tip.

for having these conversations that I think is incredibly important that I love to use, that Lindsay actually taught me about, is something called security statements. And security statements is basically what you would say before saying or having a hard conversation. So in the case of us, I would say, Kim, I love you so much. Like you’re such an important friend in my life and I admire your joy and your creativity and your expression. And you’ve been such a light in my life. And something that came up for me last week, you when we were hiking, you said something that I’m just…

wanting to know more about because I felt a little activated by it. My little girl got activated. Yeah. So it’s really just saying it’s, it’s affirming that I love you and that I’m here for you and that I love our connection. And that’s the basis of why I’m saying what I’m saying. So that security statement is huge when you’re having those hard conversations.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (26:03.885)
I know, see that. Yeah.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (26:17.655)
Yeah, that’s so beautiful. It feels very grounding instead of sort of going in, which can feel like what’s going on here, like almost like it doesn’t attack depending on someone’s nervous system.

Bob (26:24.939)
yeah.

Bob (26:28.588)
You have someone says, need to talk. mean, that’s what you’re like, my God, I’m in trouble. I did something wrong. Hey, will you sit down? We need to talk. I’m in trouble. I did something wrong. I’m terrified. I’m on defense, activated nervous system. We’re not going to be having the same type of conversation as we would if it’s like, hey, I love you so much. And I, the reason why I want to do this is because I love you.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (26:50.531)
You know, it’s so funny because I’ll do that to my husband, Chris. I’ll be like, let’s text. I’ll be like, hey, like I got to talk to you later. And then so he’s like, call me. like, you can’t say that. What is it? Like we’re talking out there. I’m going to cancel my meeting. I’m like, no, I just wanted to talk about the travel plans. So I don’t freak.

Bob (26:53.57)
course.

Bob (27:04.512)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, You’re like, actually, no, just, yep, just want to schedule something. And it’s like, we all have that feeling where we were in trouble and we did something wrong. And so to remind ourselves that to be kind is to like, be gentle and soft and regulated in that. in the book, we really wanted to talk about friendships more. And I’m curious your thoughts too, because friendships, I think are such an underrated aspect of life and our process, know, family is so important, but

and romantic relationships are so important, but we talk about that a lot. And I don’t think people really understand how impactful friendships are in our lives and in our mental health and our emotional health. And so we wanted to really have a greater conversation about having healthy friendships, having friendships that see you through your evolution and that really help you grow.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (27:51.743)
Yes. You know, it’s interesting because Yogananda says that friendships are the purest form of human love in a way, because you’re not, you the attachment of, and I know as a mother, you can get attached to your children and to loved ones, and then there can be over-familiarity and expectations, but there’s a pureness and real friendship wanting the best for each other, and like you said, supporting the growth, and it’s really…

beautiful and like you said, kindness and approach from the heart doesn’t mean everything’s gonna be like, you know, great and perfect all the time, those tough conversations and being really authentic is a way to help each other grow. Yeah, so being in the heart a lot when you approach these, you know, ups and downs is really the through line because if you’re not in your heart, you’re like, well, just say yes to this or you stuff things down.

Bob (28:34.412)
Yes.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (28:41.761)
It doesn’t get metabolized, it doesn’t get digested. So it starts to build in resentment or inauthenticity.

Bob (28:47.616)
Yeah, and I know you’ve had conversations from the heart and your book is so helpful for that, but I’ve never had a conversation where I was in the heart and it wasn’t immaculate and beautiful. You know, it’s… I’ve had a lot of conversations, not from the heart, a lot from the head, a lot from, you know, the rage or the pain body and all of that. But even when I’ve had the hardest conversations with my family or my ex or whatever, and it was just…

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (28:58.172)
Right! You can say anything from the heart, right? Unless you really-

Bob (29:17.74)
what I perceived to be the hardest, if it was in the heart, was like, this is a ritual. This is like something bigger is happening here in our connection and it’s so beautiful.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (29:28.097)
You know what too, Krista, like from the eyes of the heart, from like seeing out in your heart, it really does melt judgment, right? So it’s like, I’m really drawn to this person and this person is like, it feels like really heart-based. And some people are wearing lots of masks or there may be more separation. And it’s not the condemning or the judging. It’s just sort of the noticing from the heart space.

And saying, okay, I’m going to honor the God spirit is still in that person, but I’m just more drawn to spending time with these other people. And it just still keeps the lovingness and the kindness.

Bob (29:58.988)
Yeah.

Bob (30:02.518)
Yeah, I think a lot of people right now are really craving deep relationship and craving deep connection and friendship and spaces where they can be themselves and share from the heart. And, you know, I’ve kind of seen that as a trend in our community and even online. People want that depth. They want that texture, richness and intimacy. And I think the way that we do that is by being in the heart. it could be by starting small. It could be by having two friendships or one friendship that’s really deep and intimate and meaningful.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (30:28.481)
Yes.

Bob (30:30.486)
and then having that serve as a template for the next relationships and friendships you want in your life. But I really honor the people that want that really meaningful texture in their life because I was so one of those people where I felt like I had a lot of friends, but I didn’t really feel like I could fully be myself. I didn’t feel fully safe. I didn’t feel like I was with friends that wanted to grow like me or had like a deep spirituality like me. And so I know the feeling of feeling like you’re a little bit.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (30:32.867)
Mm-hmm.

Bob (30:58.473)
lonely in that way. And my hope and desire is that people can drop into their heart because that frequency will also emanate and really attract those people that are going to love them in the way that they want.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (31:08.643)
Exactly. So switching gears a little bit, talking about frequency. I love talking about money in the book, right? Which is sometimes you don’t always talk about, especially for us women, but can you tell us a little bit about your learnings? Because the chapter is chapter eight, why didn’t I learn this? The money chapter in your evolution from Saturn return and beyond.

Bob (31:20.332)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Bob (31:28.888)
Mm-hmm.

Bob (31:32.504)
Yeah. Yeah. So the money chapter was really important because in your 27 to 30 year period, or even in your 20s, so many people are struggling with college debt. know, most Americans have a certain amount of college debt that they live with and accrue. In your 20s, you’re potentially getting your first real job and you’re getting your first paycheck. You might be living on your own in a big city.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (31:48.6)
Go.

Bob (31:56.492)
You might be getting married for the first time. The average age for marriage is 28.5. The average age for having a baby now is 29.5. You’re having a baby, you’re getting married. Like, so much is happening in this period in time with money. You might be having a wedding. What’d you say?

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (32:07.043)
I don’t know.

gonna say I don’t feel like those stats apply to LA but maybe the rest of the country for sure.

Bob (32:14.084)
Oh, that’s where I need the stats to remind me of reality, to be honest. Because in LA, it would be 42, first age kid, you know, like, it’s just so different. Where I’m from in Ohio, it’s probably like 22. But so there’s just a lot happening with money. And the reason why we wanted to help people rewrite their money story during this time is because not only is your prefrontal cortex coming online, so you’re seeing all the stories with consciousness, but having a healthy relationship with money.

is just a game changer for your mental health, your spiritual health, your emotional health. It doesn’t mean that we’re talking about you and a plan to make a million dollars in a month or become a millionaire, but it’s really just understanding that you are worthy of being cared for and you are worthy of money and you are worthy of working with the energy of money in a way that’s healthy. One of my favorite books is Happy Pocket Full of Money and it’s just such a beautiful book about the energetics of money. So lot of our writing is kind of inspired by that around

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (33:01.442)
Yes.

Bob (33:10.37)
how you can be in this beautiful, loving, tender relationship with the energy of money. Because money is not either bad or good, not as much as our parents wanted us to believe. It’s really something that’s neutral. And for me in my life, I had to kind of untangle just as an example. I really believed that I would only make as much money as how hard I worked. So I had like four jobs in high school. I had a job all of college. You know, I’ve just been a workaholic most of my life and…

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (33:21.762)
Yes.

Bob (33:38.56)
I really equated how much energy and time I put in as to how much money I got out. And in order to go beyond my expectations and in a life that’s really big and abundant, I had to break that. And I really had to find that the deeper alignment with myself, the more money I made. So there’s a lot of money stories that people have that they can look at through the book and they can figure out their money stories. And then they can figure out how to rewrite them so that they feel abundant and they feel like they’re living a really beautiful, rich life.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (33:43.927)
Right.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (34:05.051)
Mm-hmm. I love that and that abundance comes through in energy, comes through in money, it comes through in friendships. It’s like, it’s just pouring out. And so we don’t want to block that money channel with preconceived ideas because to me, money is also like God’s way of channeling freedom through us so we can travel or buy organic food or however we are, however else we want to spend the money.

Bob (34:22.712)
Oh my gosh.

Bob (34:29.464)
Yeah, I think that’s, you brought up three beautiful things. I think the first thing is that you saying it’s like, that’s how God channels love through us. And I work with women one-on-one as a coach and I’ll have women sometimes that will get an inheritance. Or I had a woman that was really struggling with her mental health. So her parents decided to support her for a certain period of time. And she was feeling so much shame around this. And I was like, you cannot control where God gives to you.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (34:42.819)
much.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (34:56.546)
Yeah.

Bob (34:57.11)
God’s deciding to give to you through your parents. Like God’s deciding to give to you through this inheritance. Like we don’t want to tell God where to give us money. We don’t want to say, God, you can only give money through my job. You can only give money through a promotion. Like if God wants to give you money through a random check in the mail or an inheritance or let God give to you, let God nourish you, let God support you. And I think the second thing that you said that’s so beautiful is just the, the abundance piece, which is around abundance being everywhere.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (35:25.749)
Yes.

Bob (35:26.392)
And in my process of rewriting my story with money, I used to just see money as abundance. I’d be like, I want more abundance, but I really meant I wanted more money. But now I’m like, oh, I have so much abundance in my life. I have an abundance of fresh air. I have an abundance of water. I have an abundance of, you know, clean clothes in my closet. I have an abundance of cat hair on my couch. Like we can find abundance in so many different areas. And when we start to kind of frame our life in abundance, it can get so much better.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (35:55.352)
Hmm.

Bob (35:55.704)
And then the third thing I loved was just the freedom that you have around it and knowing that it’s not about the money, but it’s about organic food and travel and freedom and really the things that money can bring us, not just like the paper money or the number in our bank account.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (36:02.88)
else.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (36:10.571)
Exactly. Just the hoarding actually feels like constrictive and mind, mind, mind versus just flowing. And of course being responsible, but still just giving out is so magnetic, I think, and loosening.

Bob (36:26.892)
What were some money stories you had?

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (36:29.787)
well, the funny, you know, when you were talking about thinking it’s going to come from one source, when I started getting my philosophy out there, it started to go immediately into celebrity culture. And I started working with these big celebrities. And that’s why I moved to LA and I was working with all these big actors. And I remember saying, Krista, why am I here? I don’t watch movies. I don’t own a TV. Like judging it and being like,

I don’t buy into celebrities being different than other people. Like I should be more doing something more spiritual, whatever. And so I sort of felt shame around it with other people. Be like, great, I work with all these big celebrities. But it was like a very weird thing. And then I had to sort of, I had to really heal that and say, know, God brings you wherever you’re needed, your energy and light goes wherever it’s meant to go. Because I can’t, after I was backpacking, I was so.

broke, I was down to like my last few dollars, I’d walk around New York and buy three oranges for a dollar because that was, I had read a study that oranges keep you the most full of any fruit. So I really went from being a backpacker walking around with flip flops to pretty sudden, I was just in that freedom of writing my blog and the first books and just letting the energy pour out. And suddenly I was working with these big celebrities. So was such a dramatic shift and not identifying with.

I’m the backpacker that lives in the hostels and is doing it in this very free way and to being like, hey, I’m mean no matter where I am.

Bob (38:01.686)
Yeah, that’s so beautiful. people can even think about or in the book, kind of think about their own money stories because I think in my life, is probably, I’ve been in debt before, I’ve struggled with money and I’ve had a great relationship with money now. And again, it’s not necessarily about me being a billionaire or being on a private jet, or it’s about just me feeling free and me feeling liberated to order a really beautiful meal for lunch or give a gift to someone I love.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (38:31.298)
Yes.

Bob (38:31.426)
just living in a way that feels nourishing and sustainable for me. And my hope is that people have a good enough relationship with money where they can understand that it’s really here to serve you and living the life that you love. It’s not here to control you. It’s not here to like punish you. It’s really just an energy that’s moving in your life that you can work with.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (38:49.889)
I think it has to do with self-worth too. I heard this affirmation once, Krista, that was I give wonderful service and I get wonderful pay or wonderful abundance for that. So it’s like, I honor that I’m here contributing whatever way it is in all the multiple infinite forms and then I receive, right?

Bob (39:11.084)
Yeah, and just being worthy of receiving, you know, in any way, whether it’s love or energy and attention. And I’m curious if you feel this, but I’ve also noticed that as being someone that was in the corporate world again for a long time and being in jobs where I didn’t feel like I could be myself and I didn’t feel aligned and, you know, I remember days where I was such a sensitive person. I’m such a sensitive person. I would just cry on the 13th floor in this conference room that I’d call the cry room. And I was just so out of alignment. And

Now being in a work where I’m using my gifts and my skills and abilities, not an easy path, I’m making so much more money because I have so much more energy, because I have so much more alignment, and because I have so much more permission and worthiness because I know who I am and how I can serve. for people that are listening, if they can move towards more aligned soul work or service, there is a route where you will make more abundance and money because God wants to continue to serve you in the way that you’re serving at Him.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (39:50.53)
Yeah.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (40:11.127)
And sometimes they can cross, right? Like I have a friend and she wants to be a life coach. So she did a training and so she’s taking on more clients and then she still has her office job. But it’s like, it’s that transition, that beautiful transition that, you you honor and talk about in the book. I mean, there’s all these topics in here, love. I could go on and on. Is there anything else about the book? You guys talk about purpose, you talk about a career reckoning. We talked a lot about relationships. Is there anything else that you want everybody to know?

Not everything, but one last thing. Yeah, exactly. It is quite lengthy. I have to say there’s a lot of amazing topics and information.

Bob (40:42.284)
Yeah, there’s 330 pages I want them to know.

Bob (40:50.264)
Mm hmm. Yeah, we want it to be like a guidebook. So when people are reading it, they can just flip to a page and find, you know, quotes from some of our amazing podcast guests that we’ve had on people like you, people like Mel Robbins, Jay Shetty, Glennon Doyle, Roddy DeVlucia Shetty, like just really incredible guests, rich role. And it’ll be sections from them that just support and motivate and inspire some of the content that we have. We also have really beautiful, raw, intimate stories that, you know, we’ve never shared before, like

I talk about my body journey and I’m someone that really struggled with my relationship with my body and food for so long. And I never thought I’d get to a place where I loved my body and felt freedom. And there was a really low moment that I’ve never shared with anyone at all. And I put it in the book where I had flown to Mexico to get these diet pills. This was probably like 2015 or something. And these diet pills were dangerous. You had to take them for the rest of your life. And I was so desperate to…

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (41:28.962)
Yeah.

Bob (41:47.928)
lose weight and be in a body that I loved that I was gonna risk my life to get these diet pills from Mexico. I didn’t end up taking them, but it was really like one of the low points that really woke me up to my body. So there will be really vulnerable stories to make you feel like you’re not alone in this process of life, of figuring everything out. And I think the one thing I wanted to leave people with and I love for people to feel is that, you know, in life you’re not behind, you’re just becoming. And when we can really see ourselves and our soul paths as unique and interesting and

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (42:12.557)
Beautiful.

Bob (42:17.768)
fun and like just the mythic drama of life, it just can get so much better than believing that nothing’s working out for us and that we’re on a predestined path towards a place that we don’t even want to go in the first place.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (42:30.979)
I love that. It’s like we make our own clock, right? We have our own path. We’re in our own timing. I call that, you know, for me, Chris, there’s that in the propelled heart, which is the second heart stage, that hurry energy sometimes, which comes from my old patterns of perfectionism and like always achieving. And I’ll catch it when it happens. It happens sometimes on saloon of photo shoots where I’m like, we gotta get all these, wait, this energy of being more present. We’re gonna, even if it’s a few pictures are gonna be much better, you know, like that’s slowing down.

Bob (42:51.618)
For sure.

Bob (43:00.44)
Yeah, it’s beautiful and I love that you brought in perfectionism we talked about that in the book too because it’s something that can come up for all of us and what I’ve been working with perfectionism because I have such that part and in the book process it’s she’s She has so much to say my perfectionist is she’s got a lot of work to do during the book launch process But the way I’ve sort of shifted my relationship with my perfectionist is I give her space Actually where I let her come forward and speak to me as if she’s my coach. So as an example

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (43:27.575)
Mmm.

Bob (43:29.324)
you when we get off this podcast, what my perfectionist used to do is she’d be like, you should have said this and you should have said that and you could have told that story and da da da da da da da. And now I’m like, hey girl, okay, you have two minutes, like tell me what’s up. And she’ll be like, okay, we should have said this better. We could have done this better, et cetera. And I’ll kind of listen and I will actually get curious about what could be helpful. So she might say, you know, you should have said this story when you answered that question.

And I can think about it when I’m thinking in the self space and be like, oh yeah, that’s actually a great idea. I’m gonna use that moving forward. So when we can alchemize these parts of us and see them as not bad or good, but having something to say and even changing the inner critic to the inner coach, it can be a really beautiful support.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (44:15.075)
Beautiful. love that alchemizing. Well, thank you so much, Krista, so much for sharing a piece of your heart and your wisdom. So everyone, the book is out now. Grab your copy. Once again, it’s called Almost 30, A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond. I know the answer to this, but tell us where we can get the book.

Bob (44:17.314)
Mmhmm.

Thanks.

you.

Bob (44:26.552)
Peace.

Bob (44:37.944)
Mm-hmm. So I would suggest you guys you guys should get on audible if you listen to audiobooks Lindsay and I read the audiobook and it was the best It was my favorite thing I’ve ever done just like adding like making it lively like I just like acted like I was an actress I fully sent it in the audiobooks. I’m excited if you guys listen to that you can get it at Target Barnes & Amazon Almost 30 commas the website almost 30 podcast on Instagram, and I’m just so grateful. I know that people’s time and attention is

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (44:55.682)
Yeah.

Bob (45:05.632)
important and to create something that I hope serves people and feeling less alone is just like such a gift.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder (45:12.361)
Amazing love. Well, thank you so much once again. And thank you everyone so much for tuning in. We will link directly to Krista’s book and our information on our show notes at mysaluna.com. I will be back here in a few days for our next interview. I’ll also see you online at underscore Kimberly Snyder. Thank you so much until next time sending you so much love.

Creating Meaningful Friendships and Life with Krista Williams [Episode #994]

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