How to Attract and Manifest Healthy and Lasting Love in Your Life [Episode #698]

This week’s topic is: How to Attract and Manifest Healthy and Lasting Love in Your Life

This part about lasting is an important aspect of love. I think because it’s this sustained and sustainable quality, this steadiness that allows us to have a steady structure in our lives. If we’re always chasing or if we’re in these romances that kind of ends in drama, but they’re exciting for a moment, it’s sort of like being on fad diets instead of having a really steady lifestyle because energy builds over time. And I do believe that you can go the deepest with one partner.

When you have one partner, it means that that person can be a mirror to you. That is how it is for me and my husband. We have so much love and so much connection, but we are also mirrors to each other for our BS and for our shadows. We really have helped each other grow in tremendous ways because we check each other and we can say, Hmm, that seems to be coming from an egoic place or other tendencies, other shadows, things that come up that maybe are not aligned.

And I don’t think it’s always necessary to have a partner per se. Some people are very happy being on their own, but if you feel called to it, as I felt called to it, I believe that this sustained lasting partnership can really help you shine a light within yourself and grow in tremendous ways.

Have you been wondering about this very topic? If you want to know the answer to this question sent in by a Beauty just like you, listen now to find out!

Remember you can submit your questions at https://mysolluna.com/askkimberly/

[Question Answered]

Devin – Seattle (Spiritual Cornerstone)

Kimberly, I have been single for a long time and would love to find a kind and loving partner. I am active in social circles and the dating apps but always seem to attract the wrong type of person who is not open and loving. Is there anything I can do to attract a real and genuine love and partner into my life?

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Inspirational Thought of the Week

You don’t “get” love from others. It’s just that some people prompt you to feel the love that is already there in you.

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Other Podcasts you may enjoy!:

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: 00:00 Welcome back love for our Thursday Q&A podcast where our topic this week is How to Attract and Manifest Healthy and Lasting Love in Your Life. And we are rotating around our cornerstones because we really believe that living a holistic life, where we focus on all aspects of ourself, food, body, emotional wellbeing, and spiritual growth are the ways in which we really do create that incredibly, truly successful epic, fulfilling life. And this week, we’re talking about love and partnership, which falls into our emotional wellbeing cornerstone. And I’m very excited to talk about this topic today. As time goes on, I become more open with sharing about other aspects of my own life. Whereas in the past, I would really focus on food and recipes and a certain point. I realized that it’s good to share. It’s good to be open. And to really acknowledge, as I just mentioned, that life is not just about eating.

Please leave a review on iTunes

Kimberly: 01:08 It’s about how we live. It is about our relationships, including relationship with self and self connection. It’s about how we take care of our bodies. It’s about again, this whole holistic lifestyle. So the goal of this Q&A show is to focus on one poignant question and then leave you with research and action tips and takeaways. So you can really apply this to your own life. So I’m very excited for this show today. I have a lot to say, I have had quite a history in my own love life, which I, which I will share about briefly into how I was able to connect with my absolute dream soulmate partner that I am so grateful for every single day. Truly. So before we get into our show, just a little reminder to please write us a review. I ask from my heart and it is free.

Kimberly: 02:05 It’s easy. It’s just a wonderful way to exchange energy and to support the show. It can be one sentence, but it really does mean a lot. And secondly, please share our show with loved ones, acquaintances, friends, anyone that you think would benefit part of expanding our energy. And as we’ll get into our show today, part of attracting love is being the source. So being the source of generosity, being the source of sharing knowledge, wisdom, resources, anything that helps is a really powerful way to amplify your own energy. So you can take a screenshot, you can send a link of our show to anyone you think would benefit and spread the love. And also be sure to subscribe to our podcast little reminder, because we all get so busy and it’s better to make less decisions on a day to day basis and a week to week basis.

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Kimberly: 03:04 So if you subscribe to the show, you just get this constant source of information coming in and you don’t have to think about it. You don’t have to remember anything. So it’s a really great self care practice. And finally, I’ll mention that if you have heard me say this before, but you’ve put it off. I really do encourage you to check out our new book. My it’s hard for me to say my book, because just like this show is for the community. The book is for the community. It was written for the community. It flows through me, but it doesn’t feel like it’s mine. It feels like these teachings that I share in the book and the practices, which is the book is called. You Are More More Than You Think You Are – Practical Enlightenment For Everyday Life, which is about connecting to your potential. Whether your goal is creating more vitality and more energy, more abundance.

Kimberly: 03:54 As our show today is about more abundance and love more abundance and connection or more abundance and financial security, whatever it is. It’s really about tapping into energy inside of you, which is called the true self and getting past fear and other blocks, which similarly to food toxins can block your GI tract and make your blood more congested and create more inflammation in your body. We can do this on emotional, energetic, spiritual levels, and we can actually shift our energy overall in what we’re putting out in the world and block ourselves from creating the love, the life that we want. So again, the book is called. You are more than you think you are. Please pick up your copy today. You can get it online or wherever books are sold. Okay? So let’s get into our show today attracting and manifesting healthy and lasting love.

Kimberly: 04:53 So this part about lasting is an important aspect of love. I think because it’s this sustained and sustainable quality, this steadiness that allows us to have a steady structure in our lives. If we’re always chasing, if we’re in these romances, that kind of end in drama, but they’re exciting for a moment. It’s sort of like being on fad diets instead of having a really steady lifestyle because energy builds over time. And I do believe that you can go the deepest with one partner. When you have one partner, it means that that person can be a mirror to you. Um, and that is how it is for me and my husband. We have so much love and so much connection, but we are also mirrors to each other for our BS and for our shadows. So we really have helped each other grow in tremendous ways because we check each other and we can say, Hmm, that seems to be coming from an egoic place or other tendencies, other shadows, things that come up that maybe not be so aligned.

Question around the topic of: How to Attract and Manifest Healthy and Lasting Love in Your Life: Kimberly, I have been single for a long time and would love to find a kind and loving partner. I am active in social circles and the dating apps but always seem to attract the wrong type of person who is not open and loving. Is there anything I can do to attract a real and genuine love and partner into my life?

Kimberly: 06:06 And I don’t think it’s always necessary to have a partner per se. Some people are very happy being on their own, but if you feel called to it, as I felt called to it, I believe that this sustained lasting partnership can really help you shine a light within yourself and grow in tremendous ways. So our question comes today from Devin who lives in Seattle. So sending you lots of love out there in this beautiful summertime weather in Washington, Devon sending you so much love your question is Kimberly. I have been single for a long time and I would love to find a kind and loving partner I’m active in social circles and, and in the dating apps, but always seem to attract the wrong type of person who is not open and loving. Is there anything I can do to attract real and genuine love and partnership into my life?

Kimberly: 07:04 So Devin, thank you so much for your question. I think this is one that many of us have, and this can also apply to friendships. If you’re wanting to have more sustained more deep soulmate friendships, this applies as well, community and partnership, of course. So a little bit of research here, and of course it’s hard to create concrete research with doubleblind studies on love per se, but there are a couple of interesting reviews which I will link to in the show notes. One is from 2005 that found that people with positive energy, positive attitudes were more likely to increase levels of happiness and success in their said endeavors. And a 2010 review found that visualizing your desires did increase the likelihood of them becoming a reality. So there’s a couple things here. This first part about positivity is important because as I talk about in the new book, there’s a chapter on abundance and there’s a chapter on love, which I highly encourage you.

Kimberly: 08:23 This, if this topic is something that you are really interested in, please do read those two chapters in the new book in particular, when we are positive, it doesn’t mean that it’s this fake forced positivity when we’re, when we’re going through something or things are shifting inside of us. What it means is that we aren’t putting out this desperate seeking, which I think can be a problem, or one of the unfortunate tendencies of dating apps. If it’s this seeking and almost this desperate energy of, I just want to be loved. I want this. So Dr. David Hawkins talks about this energy of wanting of desire. And it’s an actual energy field that can come between you and what you want. And I know that sounds ironic, but think about the craving energy of wanting. It’s like that craving energy of trying, it’s saying, I don’t have this, but I want it.

Kimberly: 09:26 So there is a lack, there’s a gap between you and what you want. So the antithesis of that, the different way of being is focusing on yourself and turning that energy inward, which I know can feel tough. It can feel, it can feel impatience building, even as I say this of no, I want this, but I will share in a moment how this really worked for me, when you turn that into yourself and you start to feel really positive, again, there’s that word, but really fulfilled within yourself. Whether it’s in, you know, you said you’re active in social circles, Devon. So really focusing on hobbies, focusing on connecting with friends and things that, you know, you enjoy hiking or being outside or pottery or whatever it is, what happens is the frequency, the energy that you put out is not desperate. It’s not seeking, it’s not wanting it’s that I am happy.

Kimberly: 10:23 Now I am fulfilled now. And that is a very attractive energy for drawing in, towards you. The love, the kindness, that person, that isn’t gonna be empty and like an energy, um, vampire, but someone that is also in a similar place, and that will be attracted to your deeper place of grounding. So I’m not seeing this in a woo woo way, like, oh, frequencies and energies. This is something that’s been shown in quantum physics. Everything has an energy, electrons are always transferring and moving around. And so there is something to be said for matching vibration. And there’s a part in the book, in my new book, in the magnetism chapter, which also covers overlaps into this topic about drawing in. And there’s an author called Steven St. Grants who was able to research in nature, the synchronicity rising out of chaos. So for instance, this matching energy where suddenly fireflies of a certain type are pulsating their light at the same time they’re matching up.

Kimberly: 11:33 So what we wanna do is we want to sink in more to being the source. So instead of seeking and being desperate for love, we want love to be emanating out of us like the sun, and then people will be drawn in towards us naturally without the pushing, without all the effort on dating apps. And I have to be honest, I was personally never drawn to them. I never went on them and it wasn’t necessary. And so for some people it works really well, but if you’re not feeling drawn to it, I don’t think you necessarily need to push it either. And so that’s the first part and the second part, and then I’m gonna, I’m gonna illustrate this with my real world example. Here is this visualizing I think is really important. Yogananda says, we must believe in the possibility of what we are praying for.

Kimberly: 12:27 So this goes back to clearing fear and really getting to this place of deep self connection where we know that we deserve the love. We deserve the partnership. So even if we say that we want it, but then we’re sort of saying, yeah, but it’s not really possible. Or, you know, I don’t think I’m gonna find it or whatever we say to ourselves on a sub subliminal level. That fear unfortunately, is a huge part of the subconscious mind. And it really does create a very different energy when we’re in a room when we’re, you know, if we happen to be dating online, we’re typing something, we’re writing something we’re around people that desperation starts to creep in. Like I want to be loved, but I don’t really think I can be. So I think it is a powerful practice to visualize and to sit in this energy of feeling the kind of love and the kind of partnership that you would like.

Kimberly: 13:24 So I will share that. One of the things that I did when I was ready to open up to partnership was I started looking around at art and I found this picture and I had it framed of the kind of love that I wanted. And it was this umbrella, this big umbrella. So you couldn’t see the faces and it was what you saw was a woman with long black hair peeking out. So it kind of reminded me of me. It kind of sort of looked like me and she was wearing a dress and she was embracing this man again, you couldn’t see the face, but he was, you know, in trousers and, and clothes. And they were hugging in so much love in the rain. And they were just so connected and so overjoyed to be together. And so I framed that picture and I put it in my bedroom and every time I walked by it, I would feel excited.

Kimberly: 14:21 I would say, oh, this is, this is coming to me. It was a way of putting up a physical representation of my visualization. So it wasn’t just a visualization of my mind. I would do that too, but it would also be there in a physical form. And now to this day, that is the love that I have with my husband. And we have that picture still framed in our bedroom. <laugh> and it’s so funny because our older son by it and he says, oh, there’s mama and Papa because the body shape. And again, the hair do look like us. And many people believe that we had the picture painted afterwards, but actually I found it first and then manifested it. So it was this clear visualization of the kind of love that I wanted. And I found, I saw it out so you can draw it yourself, or you can find a piece of art or whatever, but I think it’s nice to have it around.

Kimberly: 15:19 So it keeps that energy like it’s here. And when you see it, not seeing it in the source of longing, like, oh, I wish that, but, oh, this is coming to me like it’s here now. And it’s just gonna come in the physical form soon. So there’s this real clarity and the mind can see in pictures and it doesn’t necessarily discern, oh, this isn’t here or this is future forthcoming or whatever it is. It will see that picture. And it can start to integrate that as reality now in the present moment. And so another part of this, we talked about being the source of love. And so part of that is activating and practicing love as a verb. So the love isn’t missing. It’s not that you’re seeking it. It’s here right here, right now. It’s in your life, it’s alive. And so we’re just attracting more of it in it’s like feeding the fire, making it bigger, but it’s here.

Kimberly: 16:18 And so love. Isn’t just this, no, this thing that we’re trying to get, but it’s an activated energy. So what that means is in the morning is you, soon as you get up, you feel love, you practice love by being kind to the first people or persons that you see, whether it’s the barista at the coffee shop or, um, the people around you, or you send a loving text to someone you offer to help someone in need. Whether it’s a colleague with a project or you volunteer, or you help a neighbor move, you just look for as many ways as possible to uplift and to spread love. You can compliment someone. You can smile at them. You can ask again, someone, if they need support, you wanna keep that love active on a daily basis. You can cook food in a loving way. You can share food with your neighbors.

Kimberly: 17:15 There’s a million ways to activate love. And so I encourage you to sit with this idea. You can write a list, what is possible for you right now, Devin, and all, you loves listening to this in your life, in your community. How can you spread love now? Because the more you do that, you become the source and you emanate it. So the way that, you know, how it went down with me and my husband and I talk about this in a lot more detail in the new book through various chapters is that I had got into this period of deep self healing. So I was working on myself. I was connecting to the love and the security inside of me after I broke up with my last partner, after my mom had passed. And so I was doing a lot of meditating, a lot of scripture reading a lot of connection. And then I came out with a very different sense of trust and I was more grounded and there was a lot more, my energy was settled, so people can pick up on energy. If it’s ungrounded, if it feels frantic or frenetic, it can push people away. So this idea of meditating, and again, there’s a lot of resources we have I’ll link to in the show notes, we have a whole library of free guided meditations for you and so on and so forth.

Kimberly: 18:31 So you wanna get into that state of self connection. And then one of the things that monk said to me brother said to Dand and will link to his podcast as well. I talk about the story he said to me, when I was like, well, I think I’m gonna be open to meeting someone at some point. He said, your soul ma is never far from your circle. So be open, say yes to things and unusual events, like an unusual book signing or something. So something unusual happened where a guest on this very podcast invited me to eat dinner party. And I didn’t know him well, and I didn’t know anybody else at the party. Uh, it turned out, I happened to know someone else who was also in the wellness world who had also come on my podcast. But other than that, I didn’t know any of the people in anyways.

Kimberly: 19:19 I said, yes. And I showed up and long story short, boom. Jon was there, feature hubby. And the connection was palpable. And again, a lot more detail in the book, I’ll save it, um, from going on and on here. But he also said he was in a place where he felt ready. And so we attracted each other and he said that within 15 minutes, he knew that I was going to be his wife. And so it did, the precursor was the work was the activation of love already within myself and walking around emanating, being the source instead of seeking. So I hope this helps spark some ideas, Devin. I hope you find that visualization poster piece of art. And again, lastly, please go back and read those chapters that I mentioned in the new book for more practices, more teachings around this very core idea.

Kimberly: 20:14 This is a, this is an important one. You know, I always say like John and I say, you know, your partner is probably the most important decision that you will ever make in your life because you get to grow over this person. This person gets to be your teacher. Life is shared. You can create children together, family life. So you really want to not rush. You don’t wanna settle. You wanna really connect to that kind of love inside of yourself and the kind of love that you wanna create.

Thought of the Week

Kimberly: 20:46 So I’ll leave you with a quote from the new book. Again, this is from page 55 more than you think you are in that love chapter, where I write, you do not get, you don’t “get” love from others. It’s just that some people prompt you to feel the love that is already there in you. So remember this as an important lesson, as we go through in our intention to create partnership, we do not get the love from anyone else. We connect. We share the love inside of us. So the more we bring forth the love inside of us, the more others will feel it connect to it and that level amplify in your life. So please check out the show notes over@mysona.com. Thank you so much for tuning in. Please keep the questions coming. If there’s anything you’re wondering, submit them over at mysolluna.com. I’ll be back here Monday for our next Q&Apodcast till then sending you so much, love so much gratitude. And I’ll see you in just a few days. Also see you in cyberspace. If you wanna come visit me on Instagram at underscore Kimberly Snyder, lots of love, Namaste peace.