Solutions for Anxiety in Real Life with Dr. Caroline Leaf [Episode #1003]

This Week’s Episode Special Guest: Dr. Caroline Leaf

About Dr. Caroline Leaf

In this engaging conversation, Kimberly Snyder interviews Dr. Caroline Leaf, a renowned neuroscientist and author, about her latest book, ‘Help in a Hurry.’ They explore the profound distinction between the mind and the brain, emphasizing the importance of understanding the non-conscious mind and its role in managing thoughts and emotions. Dr. Leaf shares practical tools for self-regulation, particularly in moments of stress and regret, and discusses the impact of our thoughts on our physical health. The conversation highlights the power of self-awareness and the ability to create positive energy in the world.

Guest Resources:

Website: drleaf.com

New Book: Help in a Hurry: Simple Tips for Finding Peace When You’re Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Stressed

Social Media: @drcaolineleaf

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Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Caroline Lee and Her Work

02:53 The Mind vs. The Brain: Understanding the Distinction

06:00 The Non-Conscious Mind: Tapping into True Self

08:48 The Role of Thoughts in Shaping Reality

12:05 The Tree Analogy: Visualizing Mind and Brain Connections

15:00 Managing Emotions and Patterns for Mental Strength

18:00 Practical Tools for Overcoming Emotional Challenges

20:47 Conclusion: Integrating Techniques for Mind Management

23:05 The Power of 63 Seconds

24:58 Self-Regulation Techniques for Emotional Control

27:46 Understanding and Managing Regret

30:08 Practical Tools for Emotional Clarity

32:50 Breathing Techniques for Stress Relief

35:38 The Camera Technique for Perspective

38:41 Harnessing Personal Power for Positive Change

44:57 Introduction to Intimacy and Sexuality Coaching

46:42 The Power of Partnership in Coaching

49:05 Dismantling Masks and Embracing Vulnerability

52:49 Body Image and Sexual Confidence

55:45 Cultivating Erotic Energy and Self-Expression

58:29 The Connection Between Sexual Energy and Overall Wellness

01:01:08 Healing from Shame and Cultural Beliefs

01:04:30 Daily Practices for Sexual Energy and Connection

01:07:32 Navigating Pornography and Intimacy in Relationships

01:08:00 Exploring Intimacy Through Pornography

01:09:03 The Connection Between Vulnerability and Sexuality

01:12:47 Overcoming Blocks to Sexual Energy

01:16:52 The Evolution of Sexual Desires Over Time

01:20:14 Understanding Trauma and Fantasy in Sexuality

01:24:40 Empowerment Through Self-Connection and Healing

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Transcript:

Kimberly Snyder (00:00.75)
Hi everyone, welcome back to our Monday interview show. I am so excited to have back on our show, sitting right next to me, the amazing, brilliant, beautiful Dr. Caroline Lee, who I love so much. I love you so She’s one of my favorite authors, one of my favorite people, a dear friend of mine. She also happens to be a researcher, communication pathologist, audiologist, am I saying that right? Yes, you are. Author of how many books now? 19.

19, 24 languages. my gosh. I’m getting goosebumps. I have read so many of Dr. Carolyn’s books, but when I read this new one, which is out now, by the time we’re listening to this, help in a hurry, simple tips for finding peace when you’re overwhelmed, anxious or stressed. I said, Carolyn, this is your best book. thank you. That’s really a lot coming from you. Thank you. Well, I it was a lot of love and emotion. I felt like it was written.

in connection with what’s so needed now. And I love how you make it simple, but really practical and really powerful and based as a researcher. What I love about you is you’re full of heart and that’s a very rare combination. Thank you. think, you know, often what I feel, I’m a clinical research neuroscientist as well. And my field is psychoneurobiology and that’s really heavy science. Right. But that’s where I find my spirituality. And people often ask, you know, are they die quite?

They almost sound like a dichotomy, but they’re not because they’re two sides of the same coin. the more when you see science and you see how incredible things work, how the mind changes the brain and the field that you cannot know that there’s more than just this physical time, this little bit of time that being on physical bodies and that soul is just so much bigger than unconscious mind is just so much bigger. There’s just so much more. And it’s so important that we know how to manage our mind because it’s such a responsibility.

You know, one of the things that you talk about in this book that really stood out to me is how you really make the distinction that the mind is not the physical brain. Yes, that is that is so important. Because a lot of people say it’s synonymously. Well, that’s the thing. And that’s been a 40 year journey. So basically in the 80s, the mind and the brain were still spoken about separately. So up until about the 80s, it was mind and brain. But they didn’t believe that the brain could change. I’ve been in this field 40 years now. I’m 61.

Kimberly Snyder (02:27.382)
So I’m old now. Don’t feel old. Yeah, you’re ageless. As Yogananda says, your energy and your vitality and just your skin, like everything just shows how this, you know, biological age or, know, chronologically is not our reality. I agree with you. We can. And we know epigenetics. I mean, there’s so much that’s influenced by, you know, your living this work. It’s coming through your heart.

managing your mind, which controls so much stress. And here you are. Thank you. It’s well, I’ve had some of the research you’ve done works on telomeres and yes, the telomere research up until quite recently said that you can’t change telomeres over shorter than a five year time period. And generally with exercise and, and diet and that kind of thing. And so I saw Lisa Apple, is Elizabeth Blackburn and Lisa Apple I’ve interviewed, they, the leaders in telomere research and they started talking about

maybe my meditation may change telomeres and so on. So I well, let me do a clinical trial, add a component in where we teach mind management. let’s see, because mind management, the whole system that I’ve developed around mind management includes meditation and preparing the brain and all those kinds of things and preparing the neurophysiology. And then it goes further into mind management techniques. And we show that you can change your

telomeres in nine weeks, which is wow, and it’s significantly and your telomeres are the things that respond to your mind, your mind does everything. And they basically telomeres are, are needed for other ends of chromosomes. And that’s what we need to make cells. And we make 800,000 to a million new cells every second. And those, the ability to make those cells is based on telomeres, but the ability, the thing that makes the telomeres work are our thoughts. the energy from our thoughts,

So we are not managing our mind and our thoughts are chaotic. We send chaotic energy through to the telomeres and this is science. This is not anything weird. is pure science. Science and spirituality are the same thing. Yeah, I love this. They’re the same thing. And that energy from our thoughts is going to influence how the telomeres function and how the telomeres function determines how your cells are formed, which is how your organs are formed and your systems and therefore physically how we function. And that’s why

Kimberly Snyder (04:44.194)
mind is not the brain. mean, the brain is simply a host. We need to think in a particular model here. The is simply a host and our body is a host to something much bigger. And that is the word that is, I use the word mind because it’s been used for thousands of words by so many ancient spiritual wisdom. And in current day science, we use mind.

incorrectly, it tends to be used, and not all scientists, but it tends to be used synonymously with the brain. But the brain is not the mind. The brain is a physical organ. It weighs around about three and half pounds. And it is when you die, your brain just disintegrates. When your heart stops within 10 seconds, your brain flatlines. And all the energy then reverses. the minute that your heart stops, there’s no energy flowing through the physical anymore. And that energy is your mind. So when we

Physically when our body dies physically our energy moves out and what is that energy? That’s your mind So your mind drives your psychology So it’s your your intelligence your ability to love your personality your preferences how you see life how you have this conversation your choices that is mind and then the brain is the host that Hosted so it’s simply a host

It responds to the brain. I mean, sorry, it responds to the mind. So the brain responds to the mind. makes sense. it’s only one percent. The brain and body are one percent. The mind is infinite energy. And when we’re on this earth in this physical body, our mind can’t even encapsulate all of our brain can’t even encapsulate all of the mind because the mind is too big. So we have a big portion called the non conscious mind. You in not unconscious, unconscious is when you’re asleep or in anesthesia.

Or yoga would call the true self. The non-conscious would be the true self. The non-conscious is the true self. So the unconscious is a sleep state. the non, that would be your true self. The non-conscious is your deepest spiritual wisdom. where every experience you have all day long is absorbed and every memory that you’ve ever had, that’s where it is. And that’s the part of you that drives you. It’s an energy force that is connected to the source of energy, whatever you believe that is.

Kimberly Snyder (07:00.832)
everyone, God, whether it’s God, the source, the universe, whatever you believe, we, there’s more than just us, but us, the true Kimberly, the true Caroline is in the non-conscious. And in the non-conscious, it’s infinite beyond space and time, so fast that it’s faster than 400 billion actions per second, way faster than the speed of light. And it basically generates electromagnetic fields. the heart field, the heart field,

So their heart field is coming from the non-conscious. The non-conscious puts that into the heart. And the heart is basically generating from the non-conscious, generating the true self. You know, it’s so amazing about this, work and the science and what we talked about with my last book on your podcast. Yes, your beautiful book. Is how, you know, this managing the mind that you give such practical tips about is so important because if we’re in reactivity,

If we’re in our old memories all the time and just reacting in patterns, it keeps us from being that true self. keeps us from living with love and kindness and compassion because we’re sort of in survival, you know, just these states. We are, we are. And I can, and I can describe that. can give you the simple science explanation. That’s okay. bouncing off what you’ve just said now of your first question, the difference between mind and the brain.

So they talk about the mind for a moment and then they this question. So the mind, then we’ve got the non-conscious level and then you’ve got the conscious level and in between you’ve got the subconscious. So it’s non-conscious, subconscious and conscious. Conscious is tiny. It’s messy. It’s chaotic. It’s where we make our decisions. It’s very powerful because it’s where we make our decisions. We can choose to do the work of change. We can choose to love. We can choose to hate. We can choose to…

our non conscious has no no hatred, pure love, and it’s pure wisdom. And everything we need is inside the non conscious. Yes. And that we’ve got to learn to tap into it. Now the subconscious is like a waiting room. So what the non conscious does a true self is going through all of our experiences, which become memories inside thoughts. So every experience is broken down into memories and encapsulated into a thought. And that’s what’s in the non conscious, all these thoughts, which are all our experiences that we’ve had. Plus,

Kimberly Snyder (09:19.448)
from whatever your belief system or everything about you, which could be include all kinds of things that pass. Every thought is stored somewhere. Every single thought that you have, every experience becomes a thought. Every thought is stored in the non conscious and the non conscious then basically process it’s received by the conscious mind. So the experience is received by the conscious mind and the non conscious mind at the same time. But the conscious mind is very limited. can only, for example, the conscious mind can only handle one.

conversation at a time. The non conscious can handle an infinite number of conversations. So when as we sitting here, we having one conversation, that’s what the conscious mind is dealing with. But the non conscious or non conscious is absorbing everything else, the energy, the everything in this room, all the things that you’re going through, the things that I’m going through, the connection, but all the things that are unseen, right, which is most things unseen by the physical. Exactly. And Dr. Kailin, this is like again, with the third eye.

It’s like the vision opens up perception. Exactly. That’s exactly. So that’s what the non-conscious, that third eye, that wisdom, that spiritual part of us, that is on our side. And it looks through at the patterns that we’ve chosen to make with our conscious mind into habits, the way we’ve chosen a thought pathway and we haven’t dealt with something. And they get strengthened. And it gets strengthened and it goes into the non-conscious, but the non-conscious sees it as like a wound.

So then it tries to, it basically grabs that and puts it into the subconscious. And then the subconscious, because it’s much slower than the non-conscious, it’s at some interim level. the non-conscious subconscious then sends messages to the conscious mind via our emotions, how we feel in our body, which they are coming from the, the heart generates signals, our behaviors, our perceptions, that to grab our attention. And when we pay attention to those signals, then we can start

tuning back into the wisdom of the non conscious mind. And then it influences eventually the consciously how we’re behaving, we’re behaving, loving, loving. Exactly. So if we, if we exactly, so if we learn to listen to those signals and we learn to listen to the messages of the non conscious mind, which identifies these disrupt the most disruptive thought in the moment in our lives in order and puts them into the subconscious is around about the subconscious can hold about

Kimberly Snyder (11:40.75)
four to seven of these disruptive thoughts. Also what’s good thoughts in that you, that’s non-conscious minds want you to think about because gratitude and joy and those great experience because those increase your resilience. So that subconscious is holding those and then the subconscious as I said, send signals to get your attention. Now what we need to do as humans is we need to listen to those signals so that we grow the good thoughts because it increases our resilience and helps us to get stronger in our base, which is our non-conscious.

And then we function at a high level and it wants us to break down, deconstruct and reconstruct the toxic thoughts. If we don’t, if they go into and we ignore the signal or we hear the signal, but we just stay in that same pattern, it goes back stronger into the non-conscious than before. And then we feel worse because now it’s this boil in the non-conscious. It’s not right. It’s not right. It’s this kind of thing. Oh yeah. love that. The tree is awesome. If you guys are listening to this, please check out the YouTube as well.

to see these amazing tools that Dr. Caroline has brought, which really bring the work to life. I love analogies, I love physical. So tell us about the tree. So basically, as I said, the brain is 1%. The brain and body are 1%. The mind is 99%. So the 99 % brain, which has these three levels, conscious, subconscious, non-conscious, is energy. It’s electromagnetic and gravitational fields and quantum energy and whatever.

When we do something like an EKG of your heart or an ECG when you do QEEG in the brain, when you have a sonogram when you’re pregnant, if you have MRI, all of those machines, that technology is just measuring the mind. So the mind is the thing that not only is your psychology, your ability to love, feel, intelligence, personality, preferences, it’s also the thing that runs your heart and your brain. So it runs your physiology. So it does two things, the mind, it runs your physiology.

which is your body and it runs your brain, which is your body and it runs your psychology. It’s you. And so what we’re supposed to do is we are supposed to listen to the non-conscious, but we can ignore the messages of the non-conscious via the subconscious because the non-conscious puts the messages, the four to seven top priorities into the subconscious. And if we ignore them, then we’re going to get worse. We’re not going to get stronger. to, so before I explain these to you, you had your one question was we get stuck in these patterns.

Kimberly Snyder (14:03.662)
So when you say stronger, mean mentally stronger, like physically stronger and mentally stronger. they get, and I’m going to explain that whole route exactly. I’m going to give you a really strong visual leading to this visual, but you asked a question earlier on. want to make sure that I answer that and link it all into this. You mentioned about how we can get stuck in those patterns. Notice how we both did this with our fingers. That’s so accurate because the conscious mind is kind of up here and the non-conscious mind is.

everywhere. subconscious, the non-conscious mind is, mean, the non-conscious mind is massive. It’s, it’s, it’s this field all around us. It’s the crown chakra, like everyone. It’s almost like a big, we’ve got a biofield and it’s connected to the universe. The conscious mind is a tiny little part of it and the conscious mind is only awake when you’re awake. The subconscious is this bridge in between. So conscious mind can handle one conversation, subconscious can handle about four to seven conversations. When I say conversation, it’s in really common, it’s a thought.

and then non conscious infinite. Okay. So that’s all energy. And then that energy of the three minds then uses the brain and the body so that we can be in life, that we can talk to each other, that we can eat and live and be physical. So what the mind does, the non conscious mind working with the conscious mind is it takes an experience or conversation now. And that’s a whole bunch of energy.

And it grabs the details of the energy and builds it into like a little thought pattern that looks like a cloud. So imagine around me or around you, those that are listening, that there’s a circle of energy around you. If you stretch your arms out, this is kind of the circle all around you. That’s your mind and it’s around and through you, even in your toes and in your fingers, the mind is all of it. And so that mind and that’s composed of the three different levels. Okay. The conscious being small and awake when you’re awake, the unconscious, infinite subconscious in between.

So this conversation comes in as words, those words cluster together to form thoughts. Those thoughts are like clouds. So imagine all these clouds around me. Those are all my experiences that are happening currently. And then what the mind does is it takes the thought that first the information comes in, it builds the cloud, and then it makes a photocopy, copies, and it puts it into the brain. And then the brain as an energy force.

Kimberly Snyder (16:21.29)
little cluster of energy force. So it’s a copy. So it’s still in the mind. There’s still the cloud floating around, but a copy of it’s put into the brain. And that causes a reaction in the brain, a chemical, neurochemical, genetic, and a tree is formed, a tree like network. So we talk about net, sorry, we talk about networks. Yes. So this is a protein network. So our words now are clouds in the mind.

and copies are being made at 400 million actions per second into a tree in the brain. there’s infinite trees in your brain, infinite trees in your brain, because you’re going to infinite trees in your mind. And so there’s, and there’s, so the brain just hosts and it just creates these networks. So this is as a tree has roots, lots of roots, and it has lots of branches. So our conversation, we’re saying lots of words, like each little branches, like a word or a phrase or a concept. So as we keep adding more and more and more,

By end of our conversation, we’ll have maybe two or three thousand words that we’ve spoken or concepts we’ve spoken. They’re all going to build into this tree. But what we say is the root. What we say and the listeners and viewers, are taking that into what our words become the root and the branches of their interpretation of what we’re saying, because their mind filters what we’re saying to their unique tree. So everyone listening is building. So this is what it looks like inside the brain.

So the cloud in the mind and then it’s net copy into the brain and it’s connected. Then then the mind then makes copies of this and puts it in every cell of the body as a tiny little hedge. So take this and squish it up into a little hedge and inside the inside every cell and you have 37 to 100 trillion cells in our brain and between our brain and our body. And there’s a copy in the brain. It looks like a tree in the body. It looks like a little hedge.

So every thought, every single, well, Dr. Kiran, it’s crazy. also one of the things that I’ve always felt intuitively, and we talked about here before is really managing what you’re taking in. Like, our uvata says digestion is the senses, right? So who you’re following on social media, the news you’re watching, everything is affecting these trees. It all goes into that minefield. Right. And it’s all forming clouds. and that’s the conscious mind is not very good at filtering.

Kimberly Snyder (18:29.186)
That’s why the conscious mind needs the non-conscious and the conscious mind is like a toddler. You’ve got young children. Imagine if you just didn’t watch your children. They’ve hurt themselves. They would burn themselves. They would get up to all kinds of things. That’s what our conscious mind does. So when we get stuck, our conscious mind doesn’t listen to the subconscious or the non-conscious. It’s just doing its thing. just So it’s taking the social media. It’s taking the toxic thoughts. It’s taking the experiences. It’s taking the arguments. It’s taking the politics. It’s taking whatever.

And those clouds are not beautiful clouds. They’re ugly stormy rain clouds. And it’s making those ugly stormy. So instead of this, it’s building this. Right. And then those are the hedges in the body. And now that’s counter to our mind, brain, body connection because we want it for love. So we have a worldwide web between the clouds of our mind, the trees of our brain and the hedges in our souls. It’s a network. So every experience is in the mind, brain and entire body.

So it’s not your brain that’s doing anything. Right. It’s just the host. It’s all of it. So that’s that and that process is happening all the time. And your brain and your body is plastic, which means it can change. Yeah. So if you’ve got these in your brain, the good news is that you can change them and that’s neuroplasticity and you can direct that change. And so everybody listening to this, what Dr. Carol was saying, it looks like this, it’s this ugly sort of gray. Worry.

Right, that’s, know, again, these, what we say in terms of the heart, incoherence, just feeling like you’re not really connected to your, you’re not living your truth, you’re not living in love, there’s a lot of fear, there’s a lot of sadness. In the book, you actually write down topics, which is what I love how practical this book is, you talked about, you know, lot of people live in the past, there’s a chapter on regret, there’s a chapter on being tired, because your thoughts are just making you tired, there’s a chapter on anger.

So there really is these different sort of patterns that you’ve recognized in your work. And then you give very practical tools. All the chapters are different. So there’s this, I know there’s an element of, I love this, you talk about this mindset switch, which really in terms of the heart, it’s like widening your perspective. So awareness is important, but then you give specific tools for each one. You’ve described that so beautifully. So I want to link this to your work. So when you talk about getting in touch with the heart.

Kimberly Snyder (20:49.134)
So when you, when the work that you do, and when you teach us all the things that you teach in your book and everything that you do with your work, you teaching us how to get into the depths of the non-conscious mind. So when you talk about tuning into that electronic energy of the heart, the heart is, it’s got its own little network and whatever you actually tapping directly into the, into the network. So the, the, the techniques in this book, helping hurry in my other books and the neuro cycle that I’ve developed, which is the formula for how you manage your mind. Those are.

basically helping you to get, they work alongside what you’re doing. So I would like all the techniques that you’ve developed and all the system, all the processes and exercises and things are beautiful for calming down the neurophysiology and getting you to start listening, which to get that electromagnetic energy of the heart in tune and incoherence, get the brain. So you’re getting the physiology incoherence so that you can tune into the non-conscious. So the goal of

of help and hurry, all the different chapters. these sections. Let me spend it like this. I did a survey where and over the years working with patients, find sort of the top areas that people really battle with and as you mentioned, people pleasing, getting stuck in social media, stuff like that. The past. these things, they catch us and they throw us off. So what people were asking me for is what do I do in the moment?

So what, research has shown is that it takes us 63 days to rewire a network. this network, this whole clouds, brain, body, that network, the worldwide we have inside of us, when we create each network that we create, if you want to change that, it takes you 63 days and sometimes multiple cycles. But you still in the moment when someone makes you angry or upset or whatever you need help in a hurry. So in this book, what I’ve done is I’ve taken

what do I do in that moment before I go to the 63 days? Yes, because that’s where we really need the help. Yes, because that’s where our physiology goes wax. Someone says something to you and want to punch them in the face. Or someone says something to you and you just feel so angry or you feel so hurt or you feel so, you you and I have had discussions where people that kind of gaslight us or where you feel so hurt or you just feel so tired or low and…

Kimberly Snyder (23:09.262)
You get that call and you’re in the middle of a meeting or something where you’re about to do an interview and you’re now going to keep yourself together. What do you do in those moments before you do the work of working on the patterns? So what my research has shown is that you, that 63 seconds is critical, 63 days to rewire a network. But the first 63 seconds, if you can regulate those 63 seconds, I mean, 60 to 63, you can literally.

decide how that information is going to go into your networks. So it can come in as this roaring hurricane of a cloud and go into your brain as that totally distorted protein network that’s almost folded in the chaos and the chemicals and chaos in the cells of your body, increasing your vulnerability to disease by 35 to 98%. Or you can say, okay, I can feel myself getting angry. I really want to punch this person in the face or I can feel that my body is freezing up because I am

terrified of what I’m about to speak to this person about, or I cannot get past this thought that keeps coming up from the past, or I can’t get through whatever, whatever. That moment, we don’t have a huge amount of logic at that moment. We’re so caught up in the physiology and the emotions and the signals of the moment. It’s we need- I’m automatic. Yeah, exactly. And we can make things, we can make wrong decisions. So this book teaches you how to, what do do with those 63 seconds?

What do I do in that moment where I’m so triggered that I can first calm down so I don’t say the wrong thing. I don’t start, oh my gosh, this person, this, this person. And then you start wiring in that network and putting it into the non-conscious and it again, and you make it worse than before. Reinforcing the pattern. Reinforcing the pattern that you don’t change what you’re supposed to change. It just gets bigger because you’re just getting stuck in the, in the conscious mind and you don’t fix it. You ignore the signals from the subconscious, which are coming from the non-conscious. Does that make sense? Yes.

I love that you break it down like that. And of course, there’s obviously so much information in the book and all these different chapters. But could you give us a little piece of what you taught? wrote this phrase down, practice self-regulation. So could you give us like a quick tool that may be part of some of these chapters? And again, I love how they’re all very different. And there’s this bringing awareness, which I think a lot of us haven’t been taught. So like, hey, I am starting to get really.

Kimberly Snyder (25:27.288)
fearful or this is the sign that I’m starting to get angry or starting to just ruminate in the past. But how do we a little bit of self regulation? So I think the easiest is maybe we can talk about something like regret. that is, mean, this research shows us that pretty much 100 % of people battle with regret. So it’s not something that is just a few people battle. Some people obviously better more than others. Yes, because it’s a pattern we can we can create a network of regret that everything we do

that network of trees in the clouds is so strong that it comes zooming up into the spotlight and then this new situation gets added to that. So we can have a pattern, a regret network that just keeps getting stronger and stronger and stronger. And so what this book can help you do is obviously you need to spend 63 days going through the neuropsychology wire, that network pattern. But in that moment, before you make it worse, before you add another layer to that pattern,

before you strengthen it anymore, before you give it more energy, you can catch it. So in regret, regret is you get upward and downward counterfactuals, which is a fancy word for there’s the facts of the regret. So what is the regret? What’s the actual regret? So could be, I wish that I had said that, if only I did that, if only I got there in time, if only I could have, should have, would have, that’s, or if I didn’t make that business decision, we wouldn’t have lost all that money.

And you start playing these scenarios in your mind and you see all these, if I did that, then all this good thing and you play a movie. Or I wouldn’t have gotten divorced or like relationship stuff. Now that’s a factual. That’s, and now we get an upward one and a downward one. The upward one is all these good things. So this, all this good stuff would have happened if I had done that. And that’s so destructive. It’s so destructive. creates, it basically. It’s all the what ifs. It’s all the what ifs could have, should have. And that makes it really strong.

Then the downward counterfactual is actually seeing, well, if I did that, it could have been worse. So that’s actually a better one to do because then you think, well, thank goodness I didn’t do that. But that can also make you depressed because you can get stuck in the cycle. So the thing is, is to recognize it too, is to immediately say, okay, I, the awareness thing, I honor and I honor the fact that I’m now in a state of regret. So I can feel that I’m saying if only, and so you literally say it out loud.

Kimberly Snyder (27:50.228)
I am feeling regret. I’m honoring the fact that I feel regret because I don’t even know the thoughts, the network of regret or the thought of regret, whatever word you want to use has power. It doesn’t have to control me. It’s been controlling me, but I don’t want it to control me anymore. So what is my regret in this moment? I am regretting. I made that business decision and I’m looking back and thinking that I knew in July of last year, I should have not done this. And I saw things going on, but I still carried on with that same direction.

We lost this amount of money and we could have done this and we could have, I’m saying it, I’m getting it out. When we sweat, when we vomit, we’re getting, when we have high fevers, it’s our body’s way of getting rid of what needs to not be there. When we in grief and we cry, hormones come out with our tears that actually if we keep them inside, we actually going to increase our chance of feeling worse. So that it’s a cleansing. So when we speak it up, when we acknowledge and honor.

The regret. sounds so weird to honor the regrets. To yourself? To yourself. Can you journal? You can journal. You can say it out loud. You can journal. You don’t have to admit it to another person. No, no. This is your own business. know, if you want to to someone else, you can. It’s entirely your decision. Maybe if you’re in therapy, you might want to talk that through the therapist, especially if you’re battling to get another perspective. But this is something you don’t need anyone except yourself. I love that. You can be sitting in a meeting. It’s like real inner work. It’s real. You can be sitting in a meeting. You can be looking at the people across the table.

And you can be doing this. You can be literally in your head saying, okay, what they’ve just said now makes me feel so frustrated because I’m so I’m regretting that I didn’t make that decision, but it’s okay, Caroline, you’ve made that decision. I’m honoring. This is what you feel. And as soon as you’ve got it out, you say, okay, but that’s not that’s you can’t change that. It’s happened. It’s the past. I can’t do anything about that. So I’m going to finish this meeting and then I’m going to take time to sit down and I’m going to work through a process of starting to rewire that.

It’s very compassionate, isn’t it? It’s compassionate and it sounds so simple, it’s, and people say, what’s new about this? What’s new about this is to understand is that you want to honor what you’re saying. Don’t just push it away because if you push it away and suppress it, it’s not going to go anyway. You have to get it out to weaken it. When you get it out, these branches become weakened. So the little wiry branches that I’m holding up now become weakened. And I’ve now got the power over it. Now I can decide, okay, in this street, I’m going to take time after the meeting. sit down.

Kimberly Snyder (30:11.438)
five minutes at the end of the day or something. I say, okay, this is this regret that I have. I’m going to write it down and I’m going to five minutes. Well, you could do it straight away if you have the time and just say, okay, so this is the regret. Now there’s two forks in the road that I can go. I can spend my time doing an up or down with counterfactual. I can relay all these stories and I’m going to feel worse and it’s not going to go away. And I’m going to keep falling into patterns of regret. Regret’s viral. It’s going to affect.

not just this area of work, I’m going to start recruiting relationships. I’m going to start recruiting what I ate. I’m going to start recruiting how I spent five minutes of my holiday and I didn’t do this right and I could have done that. It will be in everything. So it’s very important that you take the time. If this is a pattern in your life that you actually take the time to analyze. it. Face it. Face it full on and then start to break it down. So take the five minutes, write it down and then say, okay, two folks in the road. I can choose that or I can choose that. will give

limited amount of time. I’m only going to once I’m once I’m sitting there, I’m only going to say one minute or two minutes to think, yes, maybe it could have been this maybe could have been that. But that’s not the reality. I’m not going to go that book. I’m not going to get stuck. They’re not going to stay there. I’m choosing right now to force myself to accept that that has happened. What is the silver lining? What did I learn? What have I learned what not to do? There’s something is something and if I can’t think of something, I’m just going to be grateful that

or whatever. I’m grateful for the sunrise or the love of a partner or something. Right. Does that make sense? Yes. I’ve said a lot, but you can actually do it quite quickly. You know, and I like how in the book too, there’s charts. Yes, there’s lots of charts that you can follow. It’s very, like it flows. Like I, you know, I read the chapter on, I mean, all of them, but the one that really stood out to me, because I think all of us have people in our life that can be, or including ourselves, be quite swept up in emotions, like you said, anger.

So there’s this analytical part, which I think is really great. it’s analytical Yogananda says, one of the greatest forces of change is introspection. you’re flowing that in. You’re flowing that takes you into And then there’s all these different, you know, because it’s so physical, breath patterns. Yes. That you’re bringing like in that moment, okay, I’m going to deal with this. I know there’s a big issue here with regret, but clearing it now.

Kimberly Snyder (32:26.67)
That’s helping a hurry. It’s like the title talk. Exactly. It’s in these 63 seconds. I’m go down. I’m going to that regret statement, but I’m not going to get stuck in it. I’m going to move on. I’m going to either do it now or do it. So you stop. If you’re angry, if someone makes you angry, the breathing, when you breathe, you know, influences your heart rate variability. So when we get angry, we breathe in and angry worktop, we will breathe very, you won’t breathe deeply. You breathe short breath. So the heart rate variability reduces that thing.

affects the energy patterns in the brain. get the wrong theta alpha balance. That’s the energy waves in the brain. mean, that combination happens. aren’t thinking clearly. So a quick technique if you’re with someone is to take 63 seconds. So you want to take work in 10 seconds.

you can breathe in for three and out for seven and say something at the same time even if it’s quietly in your head. So as you feel triggered you can breathe in for three and then out.

for seven. If you don’t want to do it loud, you can just breathe in and you know, people breathe at a table. You’re in front of people. The thing is, to count in, try and count in your head to 10. So one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. I’m speaking, I’m counting out loud, but as you do that for 10 seconds, you would have already sort of changing the heart rate variability. If you do it six times in after each other, one after another, you’ve

you’ve done that for 60 seconds, you’ve immediately changed your physiology. You’ve calmed down. For example, we release a lot of catecholamines, which is a hormone that increases blood pressure when we’re angry. So that breathing exercise I’ve just described, not only will it increase the heart rate variability, which we want, we want deep breathing increases the heart rate variability. want the between the depths of breath, the way that the heart rate is varying between the fast and slow.

Kimberly Snyder (34:27.818)
but we also want to calm down the chemicals. And so that the 60 second little 10 second blocks in 60 seconds works really well. Another thing you can do when you’re angry, you can breathe once if you want. And then you can basically imagine, look at that person that’s making you angry. Imagine that they this small, see them shrinking, visualize putting them in a little box, locking it and throwing it out to sea. Now they’re not gonna, you’re not gonna drown them. You’re not gonna be aggressive. You’re not gonna be

and nasty to them. It’s not that you are going to murder someone. It’s in your mind at this moment, you are reducing that person to something in a box that you can control, you’re protecting yourself. So it’s a simple visualization exercise, but that creates a gap. It’s a simple gap that creates a chance for you to then not react and not take in what that person is saying. Because when we react to anger, an angry person, we will take that energy and those words, we build that cloud that

And then the cloud gets built into a network and we take the anger into us and we wire that energy into these toxic trees. Now I’ve just added a layer of extra stuff that’s going to potentially make me more anxious, increase my own anger. So that’s all of these techniques. There’s another one called the camera technique, which is very helpful. Especially when you feel like the chaos of life is just like you get hit by the…

So much, there’s just so much going on in the world at the moment, politically, busy wise, whatever the camera technique is literally, if you think of taking your cell phone and looking at cam at photographs, that you’re going to it’s, it’s basically, you’re going to review, and you’re going to occupy and you’re going to observe. So I call it a camera technique, because you basically visualize a camera. So you look at what you do is you imagine looking at photos of everything prior to the current event. So how was I thinking in that state?

Like think of the camera, think of photographs that you took before this moment. So you’re scrolling back and think, how was I thinking at that moment? What was my level of peace? so you just imagine scrolling back, I use the camera analogy so that you can think in your mind of like little photos, little photos of what happened over the last hour or something. So it’s the review, but you want to put yourself in that position. So you quickly grab yourself.

Kimberly Snyder (36:39.096)
How was I before this person just said this to me? It might just be you’ve seen a photo of yourself at breakfast, you see your photos of yourself having a great conversation with a good friend. love that. just flick back. It’s very quick. It really works. Then what you do is you then occupy the present. say, like shot of taking a photo of the present. What stole my peace in this moment? What is stealing my peace right now? Because pieces of fuel, pieces of energy, pieces of electromagnetic energy from the heart.

created, fuel to dive into what’s stealing my peace now, what is this person’s? And then you identify that, you label it. I get goosebumps. You know what’s so, that’s so powerful, doctor, because it’s like, you’re not over identified with it when you’re looking at like a picture. Exactly. It’s a picture you just, you, you multiple perspective. I have never, before this book, I’ve never heard anyone give that sort of technique.

Oh really? Have you been developing all these from your research and like also seeing what works and just really research clinical practice? I mean, there’s so many different techniques. And they’re all They’re all different. It’s really powerful. This camera technique, thank you for saying that, this camera technique, the third part, then just to show you how once you review, you occupy and you get your piece and then you look to the future. So then you say,

observe what do I want this to be? I don’t want to be affected by that person. I don’t want this to ruin my day. don’t want to ruin that. And that’s their I don’t want my power away. Exactly. I don’t want get, I don’t want them inside me. I don’t want their anger in me. And so when you do this, it creates an ability for you to direct the neuroplasticity. So you’re still going to have the cloud of an angry person. You’re still going to have the network, but instead of it being an ugly cloud and an ugly tree and an ugly bush, it’s going to be.

fluffy cloud was very logical. They are angry because they’ve got some kind of issue going on. don’t have, you know, do you see what I’m saying? There’s been a shift. Now you clear, now you can have cognitive clarity. Now you can handle the next moment. That’s how you can capture it. I’m going to hurry in 63 seconds. That’s some examples. And this power, like we talk about power, we were talking before in the kitchen about the, you know, the divine power, the family power.

Kimberly Snyder (38:50.412)
Being who we’re meant to be on earth, in all the ways we express it, all our unique, beautiful intelligence and love to be loving, to be present with others. When we’re clouded by the mind and these thought patterns, we are not who we are. We’re not meant to be angry. We carry it into every interaction, every meeting. We go to Starbucks or we show up at our kids’ school and we’re carrying that frequency. Yeah, it’s actual photons of electromagnetic energy.

Just because you can’t see them, it doesn’t mean they aren’t there. You’re spewing it. You’re spewing it. We’ve all walked in a room and we’ve picked up the mood. You read the room. We talk about reading the room. We are reading photons of energy that are literally coming We’re all connected. Our hearts are connected. We’re And it comes down to what do we want to be spreading in this world? What do we? What do we exactly? What do we want to be? How do we want ourself to be? How do we want our future to play out? Yeah. Are we wanting to spread love?

Exactly. Or are we going to spread chaos? Exactly. And that’s the empowerment because we don’t control the politics. We don’t control what’s happening. control this next moment. If you can control yourself in the next 63 seconds, if you can self-regulate yourself, you can self-regulate the next hour, the next day, the next week. As you self-regulate, you generate positive energy into the world. Electromagnetic photons, not woo-woo stuff. This is real hardcore electromagnetic energy that is coming from all of you, all through you.

powerfully generated from your heart out into the world, touching other people. And one person can make a difference. You can walk into your, you doing this, you’re doing these 63 seconds and helping a hurry, drawing on the same techniques, which align with this as well. We’re both teaching is when you do this, you alone can affect millions. yeah. The math has been done. The science is out. One person can change.

It’s viral. And that’s also what the yogis have been talking about for centuries in the Vedas. the sages. One soul that comes into this higher state, your enlightenment sounds like a big term, but it’s really just coming into more love in simplistic terms. It’s diving into the vibration. It’s activating your non-conscious, coming into love. And that generates such mass, like you do that with your work. generate all this positive. Dr. Caroline, this is so This is so real and everyone can do this, believe me.

Kimberly Snyder (41:06.254)
Of all your books, really feel like there’s a really high vibrate. All your books, I love them. Just amazing vibration. But this one, feel like is so connectable right now. It’s accessible. Yeah. It’s hands on. think you can do it. And also what I love too is you can actually go to that particular chapter of something that’s really bothering you. You can jump around. The beginning is really important, I feel like. But it’s like a very practical manual. you want. it’s a manual.

It’s a manual for how do I cope with chaos in the moment? What do do now? And then there’s the next step, which is the whole, all my other work, the neuroscience. Oh yeah. And you have a wonderful app. That’ll help you rewire over 63 days, but this is the now. do I do now? Well, Dr. Fjeld, I could talk to you forever. We were talking on the counter two hours ago. We were like, oh yeah, we’re supposed to do this. Because again, I just want to just thank you so much for being such

a force of authenticity and love as a scientist and all this amazing research you’ve been doing for so many years. But it’s this beautiful combination that I think is so magnetic as a goddess of science and knowledge, but living it and being in your heart. And this book is really an expression of it. So thank you so much, Dr. Caroline.

Once again, everyone, the book is just out now. Health in a hurry. Simple tips for finding peace when you’re overwhelmed, anxious or stressed. Dr. Caroline, tell us where we can get the book, where we can find out more about your wonderful work. Thank you so much. Thank you for those kind words. Your work is just so in alignment. love your Your sister, we love each other so much. They can find the book. Every book is sold. And Dr. Caroline Leif is my social media handle. From Instagram, can find Dr. Leif’s website.

And the Neuropsycho app is available on iTunes and the Google store. And also there’s a web version. And the Neuropsycho is the formula for how you change over the 63 days. It’s what you do each day to rewire the clouds and the trees in the brain and rewiring the whole, all the neurology. It’s how you do it. It’s a five-step process. And that’s very clearly explained there. Beautiful. Well, thank you again so much for all the work that you’re doing for this incredible book.

Kimberly Snyder (43:27.722)
And we will also link everyone directly to Caroline’s app, her book, her work on our show notes, which will be at mysaluna.com. So thank you all so much for tuning in. And again, if you listen to this, I highly recommend checking out the YouTube as well, just to look at Dr. Caroline’s amazing prompts. I just, yeah, thank you so much for all of these really practical tools, because I think this is what the world needs right now to bring us into our hearts.

And to spread love. mean when you bring it down to the essence, that’s what we’re talking about here. I love how you said that because if the world’s going so fast, everyone’s so reactive. What I’m trying to do is say, let’s take a game. Let’s just slow down. Let’s just get ourselves under control so we can think clearly. Because when you don’t slow down and create that gap and get the hope in a hurry moment, we’re going to make all the bad decisions that we see happening. We’re to be so reactive. Families breaking apart over politics and people making bad decisions. And I had someone say the other day,

Please send this to the politicians. gosh. Can you imagine? It’s really funny. Well, as we can do our part, we can do our part. Each of us can do our part and generate that field around. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Dr. Kieran. I love you so much. Thank you everyone so much for tuning in and we’ll be back here for our next interview Monday. We’re not doing our weekly Thursday shows anymore, but remember that we have our monthly show.

with top tips, so be sure to tune into that. Otherwise, I’ll see you on social at underscore Kimberly Snyder and of course on our website, have mysalina.com. Sending you all so much love. Bye. Bye.

Solutions for Anxiety in Real Life with Dr. Caroline Leaf [Episode #1003]

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